#I will 100% make time for lost insects who need help even if they don't comment on my stories

[z-h-i-e]

The Reality of Responding to Comments Left on Fanfiction

Or, a rebuttal to a Tumblr post I was going to comment on, then thought, why not just start a whole new post?

So I happened upon a post recently which compared not replying to comments to not holding open a door for someone.

Firstly, I want to point out, I'm in the midwest of the US of A. Even during the middle of covid, when people were very careful about touching things, we are so trained to open doors, we were still doing it. Hell, we try to hold open doors for each other when it's an automatic door.

Commenting back to comments, though. In theory, sure, very nice to do. In practice, no. That's the short answer; buckle up for the long one.

It's February of 2020. I'm already starting to suspect shit in the world is going down soon--while everyone else is watching the impeachment here like it's the next big reality TV series, I'm stocking up on canned goods, cereal, and cheese. (Yeah. Cheese. I'm from fucking Wisconsin. I had a mini fridge just for cheese. Judge me. I can take it.)

Once a month, during those 'pre-pandemic' days, I would take one long lunch hour -- I would use comp time, I'd drive out to Panera, I'd sit in the area upon which I based part of Salgant's house, and I'd answer comments. It was a happier time. I had time to do it. It was nice to go through all the interesting things people noticed or the bits they liked. Hell, I even like a good flame--keeps me warm, lets me roast a few marshmallows, and then I go fucking Feanor in Formenos on them. But I digress.

That was the last time I had a chance to do that. Because then, and sorry, forgive me if this is new information, but there was a fucking worldwide plague that occurred. And during that catastrophic world event, not all of us recovered to a point where we're back to normal yet. I don't know about the rest of you, but wondering each day if I'd ever get to hug my parents while they were still alive? Kind of stressful. See, my father has major medical issues (kidney failure and on dialysis, cancer survivor three times over, osteoporosis, diabetes, diverticulitis, and sleep apnea), and my mother has a few doozies, too (COPD, macular degeneration, also a cancer survivor, and a whole fucking messed up thing with her spine). With all the concerns of previously mentioned plague, the doctors at the time advised that no one else was to go into their house until there were viable covid vaccines. I would come over, drop off groceries and medications on their porch, close the door and call on my phone, then air hug from the street thirty feet away.

I remember all the stuff I did to try to keep my brain happy. I watched my way through 'If Google was a Person' and 'Epic Rap Battles of History', over and over. I found museums who had 360 views to pretend I was on field trips, and I found a bunch of virtual rollercoasters to 'ride' on. And I listened to Hamilton so many times if it was vinyl I'd have worn a hole through it.

I had coworkers who died from covid. People who seemed generally okay, people I would not have thought would be hit so hard by it. We lost several pets since 2020--two dogs, two cats, and a rabbit. In the case of our beloved Trotter, who went through more surgical procedures than I can recall, I would have to hand him off to a technician, then sit in the car for three or four hours, wondering if he would be okay, if he would feel better afterwards, if he would wake up after each procedure, if his already damaged heart could take another.

I had my share of medical bullshit throughout the past nearly five years. The big 'well this is bullshit' of them all is that I had a pretty good life plan going, along with 'we all going to do all the things to try to make a smol human in the 2020/2021 range' and, well, let me tell you folks, as soon as pandemic got volleyed around, that was a big nope. That nope was followed by so many additional 'did my warranty expire?' moments, but I have to say, the highlights of the instant replay real would be the intercostal muscle tear which has still not healed completely correctly, so it is physically painful to push a grocery cart around in a store for more than thirty seconds, the whole episode when my pancreas decided to stop working for a hot minute but it was covid city in the hospitals so I was sent home with meds and a 'best of luck' sort of thing, and the secondary infection when I did eventually catch covid despite so many precautions (funny enough, from my father when we finally had the first in-person Christmas again in 2022--so, while the concern was I could end up giving it to him, he ended up giving it to me).

But the most frustrating, the most enduring, has been my failing vision. When I was 8, and at a public school for the first time, they did vision screenings, and realized 'wow, this one does not see well'. Now, in theory, someone should have figured that out sooner -- I had jabbed myself in the eye no less than three times (possibly more) that I remember before the age of five from accidentally getting things too close to my face. So glasses and I have been pretty tight now for nearly four decades. But it was during the pandemic that I started to think I must have been dealing with some strain from computers or needed a new prescription or something. Words were far more difficult to read. I would sometimes stare at pages in books or on the screen and just see...nothing, really. (Kind of not helpful in my profession.)

I went years with terrible distance vision, but great vision up close. Now that had failed, too. But it wasn't just that. At least with distances, I could still generally see things. Up close--sometimes yes, sometimes no. So I kept getting tested and retested and asked questions and went to different doctors and described things--

--and finally, sometimes, you find someone who listens, and wants to figure it out, and does. And then you have an answer. But answers don't always mean solutions. And when I asked how we fix it, I got an answer, but not a solution.

The answer is, I can't.

And to the follow up, will it get worse, that answer is, maybe.

But it won't get better.

So as I'm still processing this, having days where I want to write but can't even see the words, I think about all of the stories I still don't have posted on AO3. I think of things on floppy disks--not just the hard floppy disks, fucking floppity floppy disks, where the only backup is on dot matrix printer paper--and I think about things that are handwritten, and stories on old flashdrives, and the words from the musical that got me through the pandemic play through my mind.

Why do you write like you're running out of time?

Because.

I am.

I'm not the biggest fan of mortality--I fucking write about elves, friends. Elves, and more elves, and after that, a few additional elves, just in case. I've rooted myself in Valinor, for the most part, over the last few years.

I am very aware that I am more likely than not on the downward slope of life's journey at this point. For anyone who has ever been sledding in the midwest during winter, you know you go way faster on that downward slope.

So I've got some pretty solid goals in mind. I have stories I need to finish. I've got art and other things I want to make. I have items I want transferred to a place that stands a decent chance of still being around when I'm not, or when I'm not able to do the moving of things anymore, from personal websites I have. I completed one really big accomplishment over the summer--I sat down and wrote my scientific paper on the Silmarils. I really wanted to get that written, and I'm very happy I did.

I've lost too many fandom friends over the past five years. People I'd known for decades, people I knew by their legal names, people I'd exchanged mail with and in some cases met in person.

So, I'd like to go back to the Panera days of having a sammich and one of those salads that are practically dessert because it's more than half fruit and take a few hours each month to answer comments. Trust me, there are no awards for four digit unanswered comment boxes. If there were, I'd have seen one by now. Every comment is immensely appreciated. They make me think about things, and reconsider things, and sometimes sneak in a character or two based on what someone says.

And I'm hoping that someday, maybe when I'm retired or at a point when I'm able to get down to working just one job or something, I'll be able to get back to the older comments I haven't answered yet. But right now, I've got a few other higher priorities in life.

Today was my father's 69th birthday. I suppose I could have answered a few comments today, but instead, after working a ten hour shift, I went to hang out with my dad--which is basically just us sitting and talking, but it's amazing because I spent so many sleepless nights over the past few years wondering if he and my mom would make it through the worst of the pandemic.

I regret nothing.

I hope that for now, you can take my word on the door opening. In fact, this morning when I got to work, I got the door for someone, then I noticed a moth on the ground that looked a bit dazed like it had just gotten itself out of a spider web, so I bent down and I managed to get it onto my finger so that no one stepped on it, then I walked back down to where there are plants and grass and deposited the moth (who at first wanted to crawl about on me, which I allowed for a moment before getting it safely onto a leaf) then came back up again, saw to a large cricket so that no one stepped on it either, and finally got in. Please accept for now the sharing of stories as the holding of the door the first time; I'll try to get it for you again if I can later on, when I'm on my way out--but I have some business to finish inside first.

[nrdmssgs]

Since you made shifters AU - the crowd (me) asks for more. HCs maybe?

Hi, love! Sorry, it took forever. I wasn't sure, anyone would even notice my little shifters. Anyway, here how it started, and let's check, how it's going.

Ground rules

So when creating shifters AU, I made a few rules, that would help me personally in a world building. These rules are valid ONLY in my AU, so don't worry, it's not a must.

Shifting process is long and painful. While the body may change its form relatively fast - it is the shifter's mind that needs time to adapt. The shifter needs some time to remember, who are they and what is happening. The first minutes after the shifting - it is just a scared animal in terrible physical pain, so it can harm even its beloved ones.

Cat shifters are the most feral of all mammal shifters. You don't want to be in the same room with a freshly shifted lynx or lion - their mind needs much more time to come back to 'normal'.

The closer your 'second face' to your human body (in terms of measurements and body funktions) - the easier your shifting process is. Shifting to a mouse is much more complicated than shifting into a bear (because of size differences). Insect/bird/fish shifters are fucked rare and they are doomed to have much more complicated shifting process.

Wolf-shifters are the most common type in my world, because they learn and adapt faster than any others. Also they are very welcome in military because of that. Everybody wants a fellow wolf in their squad.

Shifting process can be trained in time. The more times you shifted - the faster your body and mind adapts. So the fact that cat shifter Nikolai didn't try to harm his beloved is due to his enormous experience.

Second faces

Second face is simply their animal form. One shifter has only one form. I dont make any segregation in my AU and shifters may work alongside non-shifters just fine. Nevertheless, 141 is a shifter party 100%

Captain John Price

I wouldn't dare to NOT make this man a bear. Because c`mon, it's John Price. He has his timing, his fair share of violence, he's highly territorial, he's absolutely gorgeous. If you're not on his team, "Bravo six going second face" is your death sentence. He can chase his prey for miles, he crosses ice-cold rivers and climbs peaky mountains like it's nothing. There is practically no place, where you could hide from him.

Kyle 'Gaz' Garrick

As intimidating, his angry roar can seem to you - your real problems start when you don't see him. Because Kyle is a lynx. He won't let you know, he's around, until you believe, he lost your tracks. You won't hear his feather step behind your back, won't feel his hot breath right above your head as he climbs that tree. He's just a shadow caught in the corner of your eyesight. A trick of light.

Johnny 'Soap' MacTavish

Now Johnny is a wolfboy. Wildly talented, loyal to the end, restless. Harm his beloved ones, threaten his comrades and his piercing amber eyes will hunt you down in your nightmares. You would await him being just a hot headed pup, but when you realize, how skillfully his hunt is planned - you will finally notice unmistakable intelligence and wisdom in every his move. As he will corner you - you will notice that his movements are not just those of a predator, but of a creature with an innate understanding of the world around it.

Simon 'Ghost' Riley

Ok, this might have me canceled, but hear me out. Ghost is not a wolf shifter in my AU. And there is a reason, why almost nobody even in 141 ever saw his second place. There is a reason, why Simon relies only on his human form, trains like there is no tomorrow, fights, like there is no plan B. This ideal soldier, the legendary war machine was 'blessed' with one of the rarest shifter forms, which can be utilized only on a very special occasions. Ghost has no problems with fighting armies in his human form. But god forbid you meeting him on open waters. It will be oh so quiet after he falls into the darkening abyss under your boat. Only waves licking plastic boat sides and a few birds screaming somewhere far. You would calm yourself down, convince yourself, Ghost is no more around. Drown. Dead and silenced finally. This would be when the dark abyss beneath will shift and move. Your boat would twirl and crash as a paper ship, sacrificed to the wild waters. Your men will disappear beneath the dark waves one by one, and you will have nobody to call for a help around. It's then when you will notice a jet black fin appearing and hiding between waves. He will let you see his second face before he drags you deeper to meet your end. An enormous beast, a deepwater demon with black skin shielding him from the sun and white belly masking him from anyone looking up. The last thing, you'll notice, before his jaws clench around you - will be a strange white pattern on his face. Now that you look at it - it doesn't resemble average orcas white spots. It reminds you of his skull mask.

[gagsolineoilrefinery]

brian headcanons? pretty please

Smiles so big and wide at you yes absolutely I love that little freak

putting under a read more for convenience's sake

- I'm 100% a Bug Brian truther, that man is an insect you can't convince me otherwise, I like to think he can make weird little chittering noises and climbs up walls with his hands and feet for enrichment

- He's trans and has no last name because he didn't care enough to pick a new one so he went with none, acts all mysterious about it because he thinks it makes him look cool

- This man needs glasses so fucking badly but after a litany of "nerd" comments growing up he refuses to wear them, has attempted contacts but cant get them in his eyes for the life of him

- He would genuinely rather die than go to the factory, he does all his needed repairs on himself unless he's forced to (usually by Ben or William)

- He gets along with his co workers in, his own way when he's forced to interact with them. He does not understand how to behave "appropriately" around other people, he's my favorite rude autism icon (he is going to insult your intelligence at any given opportunity with what he sees as good intentions and does not understand why everyone hates him)

- I'm also a Bellthinker truther I think that british man should kiss that bug right on the brain dome and make him so flustered his systems soft reset

- Every time theres a meeting that he's in the second he's at the front of the room the entire mood changes because everybody knows he's gonna have a whole presentation planned thats no less than 1 hour long, and he will yell at you if you try to stand up for any reason

- I like to think living in the heart of toontown (right in the playground no less) definitely has some side effects on him, the silliness is rubbing off on him more than he realizes, most obviously things like his brain exploding comically when he starts baby raging

- Im sorry this man is absolutely a cog reddit user (coggit? idk) you can't change my mind, hes a power mod and proud of it, keeps getting talked to for using it on company time though

- He's very attatched to the Desk Jockeys but absolutely hates to admit it, I like to think its a Dr. Robotnik with Scratch and Grounder type dynamic (thinking especially like that one scene where Robotnik says "I don't even know why I bother to repair you guys, I suppose I'm too sentimental" shit like that)

- With his dynamics with the other toontown central managers, I think he actually feels very guilty about the incident that happened with Buck- but instead feigns a petty hatred for him so nobody will ask him about it and he doesn't have to admit how monumentally he fucked up

- He's on relatively chill terms with William, they're both angry big mouthed autistic people who do not know how to shut up so they mesh pretty well, I think they like to fight eachother to let off steam and then makeup immediately after, Brian isn't too fond of the whole oil leakage problem thing though because it makes a mess of his basement but he doesn't exactly hold it against him since he knows he can't help it

- When he can spare the time he loves poking around in the systems of his co workers just to see how they operate out of morbid curiosity and to see how he can make the jockeys more efficient, he's on that medic tf2 shit, not many of them let him do it though (understandably so)

- Probably went to whatever the cog equivalent of medical school was but lost his medical license after The Buck Incident™️

(And I think thats probably good for now because I am dangerously treading the line of infofumping about my AU sorry I have so many thoughts about this creature)

[talea456]

Hey, @wearewatcher! I've got a request for Ghost Files! (And honestly, something for Shane to do...cause I think he's who can answer this call...you know, the chosen one.)

Flesh out ghost/paranormal world-building, please!

Listen, I like to zone-out listening to ghost hunting things on Youtube while doing my hyperfixating on my puzzles and such, and y'all, most ghost hunters have THE WORST headcannons. (And they ask the dumbest questions ever.) For example:

1) Like, creepy basement ALWAYS = demons!! What? That's dumb. Why would some all-powerful, evil being just be hanging in a basement of all places? (Idk man, I think the biggest evil in the world is like...people who commit genocide or maybe exploit others for their own gain?)

But okay, let's say basement = demons. Then, why are the demons always in the basements? Going a bit Good Omens with this right now, but...are they actually on their demon "lunch break?" Like, they head to dark, damp places to be left alone, but then all these stupid humans come in with their loud-ass spirit boxes and bug the shit out of them? Is that why they're always like "RUN," "EVIL" and "LEAVE?" ...'Cause if I'm on my lunch break, same demons. Same.

-> If so, I think it would be nice to share some new ideas for keeping humans out of their way. Like, maybe they just don't realize that "creepy victorian girl in a nightgown" isn't enough to scare 21st century humans away. (Not that it's their fault they don't know that. It's hard for adults to keep up with teenager trends, so I can only imagine how hard it would be to keep up with human trends if you're immortal.) Maybe they need to consider appearing as a giant spider like Shelob or something. Most people would run away from Shelob. Or appear as a roach or bug infestation or something (you know, like the insect cave in Temple of Doom). Other than potential fumigators or entomologists, most people would skip going to the basement in that case.

2) Also the stupid theory that the demons need energy from fear?? Makes no damn sense. There's energy freakin' everywhere in nature! That's what makes even Physics 101 so annoying--all those forces and such. So...why would their fuel need to be emotion? And okay, sure, if for some supernatural reason emotion is their food, why only human emotion? Why couldn't they just freak out a raccoon and be good with that? If I were reading a Fanfic and the author did such lazy-ass world building, I would stop reading. (Please ask the basement demons if they also think this theory is stupid next time you're down there.)

-> And also, if you go back to the Conjuring house, maybe suggest to the bent-neck lady that she should try crawling in a back-bend like a Japanese ghost for additional fear/creep factor...'cause word is out on her bent neck thing, so it's probably lost the same "scare" level it used to have. If human fear = food, girl is probs starving! So help her out, please.

Other random questions that I want to ask ghosts instead of the stupid "how did you die?" or "do you know you're dead?" questions:

If you're just going about your day without a body, do you still like, go to the bathroom and stuff? I mean, Everyone Poops (as the children's book says), but if you don't have a body, you don't need to poop. But if you don't think you're dead, then you must be going through the act of pooping, 'cause not needing to poop for like 100 years is kinda a dead give away (pun intended) that you're dead.

Do you have to wear your fancy outfits after death? Can't you just change into like pajamas or something more comfortable than a full suit or victorian dress? I mean, COVID shutdown proved to us that living humans turn to pajamas as often as possible, so I would assume ghosts would too. (OH SHIT! Is that why there are so many lady-ghosts in nightgowns in the UK? They're just getting comfy???)

Do they miss food? (Cause I would totally miss ice cream, pizza, burgers, etc.) Or can they have ghost-feasts like that imaginary meal the lost-boys had in the movie Hook?

(I could think of more, but I should probably wrap this up.)

In conclusion: Do the other ghost-hunters a solid by completing some world-building so the bullshit at least makes sense.

[thenexusofsouls]

Alright time for Micheal! ⏰ 🚹 (Alright I kinda laughed at this one for him, since you know)🐜 🎁 🍟 💅 Also does it ever bother you when people ask lots of questions? Just don't want to come off as rude with how many I ask or overwhelm you 😄

(You are never bothering me with a lot of questions. I love these things! And it’s especially important for the muses on this blog because, with the exception of Nat in a couple threads with one friend off Tumblr, and Nat and Clint as guest muses in a couple threads on Tumblr, and Veridian in a couple threads off tumblr, I have never rped these muses before and certainly not in great detail. So all of these are fairly new to me and making them my own by fleshing them out and becoming comfortable with them is a lot easier when answering questions like these about them, whether IC or OOC. So thank you for sending these all in!

⏰ - Does your muse feel like they need to do things quickly or do they take their time?

Uhm….. depends. Michael is an ancient being, so his concept of time is definitely different than a human being’s would be with a lifespan of only 100 years max. Also, the goal of most humans is to live long and be happy, and much of what they do is geared towards that. But Michael is immortal (not invincible… he can die, but as long as he continues living he could potentially live forever), and happiness is irrelevant to him. Sure, he’d like to be happy, but that is of little consequence when one is taking orders from God. His purpose is to follow those orders and to be a general in God’s army. That’s all. So he doesn’t have a lot of personal goals or a sense of urgency with regard to time beyond completing his Father’s tasks. Now… if he is given a time-sensitive order, then he will very much be pressing to complete it as fast as he can, but again he doesn’t decide where the urgency lies, God does.

🚹 - How would your muse react to losing their father? How would they cope?

I mean… maybe God in Christian mythology can’t be killed or destroyed, but an angel can still “lose” him. Lucifer, for example, lost his connection to God and the light and warmth of the heavens when he fell from grace. In writing my own fantasy angels not based on Christianity, I still describe the “Fall” as being as devastating emotionally as it is physically.

There’s a closeness with God or whatever fantasy god that an angel is serving that they feel in the heavens and under their employ that is lost when they fall. That feeling of immense distance geographically from their deity causes intense sadness, the physical cold and disorienting sensation of changes in their five senses once they land on earth is frightening, and the loss of the love, warmth, and light of the heavens is demoralizing. It is a lot like grieving a dead loved one or mourning a catastrophic change in lifestyle.

When Michael fell to earth, he fell to a place where it was nighttime, so it was dark, raining, so he got soaked pretty fast, and cold, as indicated by the way he shivered and pulled his clothes tighter around himself. 

🐜 - How does your muse feel about animal lives? Do they treat them the same way they’d treat a person, or do they feel they’re inferior?

So… animals, insects, any other lives besides humans are seen as inferior to humans. Important humans are seen as superior to less important humans (or example, a human he has been charged with protecting would take precedence over others). And the collective, greater good is most important over all… animals, humans, and angels included. In other words, Michael would kill a few to save many, he would sacrifice animals to save humans, and he would make those very difficult decisions on who lives and who dies based on the potential outcome. Whichever path would lead to the least catastrophe, the least loss of life, the least skewing of the balance over to evil… that is what he will do, as dictated by the will of God. Unless he goes rogue, however, heh, in which case he would decide for himself, but he would still follow the collective good model of doing what is best overall and not necessarily what is best for a few individuals.

🎁 - Does your muse celebrate their birthday? If yes, how do they celebrate? If no, why not?

No... because... I don't even think he knows when his birthday is? XD I mean he knows the general year in which he was created but... it’s not really something that he pays attention to in any big way.

🍟 - How does your muse feel about their body? Would they change it if they could?

I mean... I think he prefers to have wings, heh. I dunno Legion was weird in that the angels had these cuffs around their necks like slaves and for some reason Michael had to cut off his wings to sever his subservience to God. I don’t... really... get why that was necessary? Later on when Garbiel comments on how his wings “would have helped you now,” because without them Michael was mortal, Michael responds, “To not feel their burden is a dream.” I really hated that because that is so foreign to just about every concept of any angel anywhere that I have ever seen, heh. Wings aren’t a burden, nor are they a sign of subservience. They’re biological appendages, and usually deeply loved ones. That’s how I write my angels, as loving their wings. If they are injured or lost, it’s an emotional event. So to have Michael discount them so easily was weird for me, and likely something that I would change from the cannot when I write him.

But that little weirdo thing aside... I think he sees his body as a tool, a means to an end. He likes that’ sit’s strong and capable because that's often what he needs it to be. He’s a soldier, so he needs to be strong, fast, able to fight and stay standing for a long time. As long as his body helps him be that and do that, he’s happy with it. I feel like, after falling and becoming mortal (that’s something else I would change, the whole becoming mortal thing, but anyway), he might have been a little annoyed at the weaknesses of a mortal body, essentially lowered stamina, more easily injured, going into shock, more pain, things like that.

💅 - How does your muse feel about gender roles? Do they conform to them, or do they play by their own rules?

Yeah I think Michael conforms to a typical cis-male role, even though he was not “born” in the traditional sense of the word. He recognizes the genders of other angels and of humans. For example, in Legion he puts teenage Audrey in charge of delivering Charlie’s baby, even though there were several other men around. She even comments on it by saying, “Just because I’m a girl does not mean I know how to do this.” So I think Michael not only recognizes genders, but might have some stereotypical ideas about them and the roles that people of certain genders could take.