#I was gonna get yard work done but with this heat?? fuck no ain't even spring yet and already hot

[jplupine]

It's hot as Hell outside, so I'm stuck indoors drinking taro boba tea from a dinosaur cup and writing werewolf porn. Let's goooo

Also fuck it, why not ask me questions while I work? Let's bring some life here! Got anon on too if you're more comfy with that <3

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

Jeremiah: how'd you know that was your granny?

Me; i remember her voice. Jeremiah don't cry

Jeremiah: that's so fucked up how do you say that to someone?

Well... I remember her voice and im sure God made sure that memory was open for me. She got a real rugged voice like her life, I knew it when she said I had to apologize. Its a voice that carries all this pain from all these years. Remember she was real old and wrinkled like crispy crispy fried chicken. And her little old eyes... They were always sad and mad and all mean no nonsense and she couldn't ever hear and i hated yelling at her so she could hear so she had me write it down for her.

But her voice is like her face when she was alive, deep from the heart carrying what the heart feels, that's how. Just carrying all her life dignity and harsh life experiences.

So a little story about my mom and my granny. Denise used to live with my granny in one of them silver bullet type campers but it was real spacious. She used to live there with granny to keep her ass from jail. Granny was the only one that could ring her up by her neck like a chicken and beat that ass.

One time we went to visit in about 1985 and Denise went in there and stabbed her with an ink pen right in the foot. I remember that iodine they used to clean and heal it up with all on her skin. And the bandages.

Denise did it right in front of me cause i went out there and Denise was taking off ber top all "my granny gonna give me a bath" and my granny looked scared.

Mind you id already drank bleach watched my twin brother murdered in front of me abd bypassed death multiple times So i knew by looking in grannys blue eyes she wasn't about to give no one a bath.

So i looked all in the small trailer and told her "there aint no place to take a bath. There aint no tub. What in the sink? You're way too fat to"

"Well fine I'll wash the dishes" took a pan and knocked my granny out cold! I ran to get my dad and I felt i didn't run fast enough by the time i got back my mom was all trying sex shit on my granny who was knocked out. So i went outside and screamed on the top of ny lungs and everyone came running then.

They dumped granny in an old wash tub in the yard. Old silver one y'all rich people use to feed your calves and horses in. And woke her up and i was all satisfied cause I got to wondering "where does she bathe?" Well in the big house of course but they only had a shower there. So i was all "now that's a bath" the rest of the summer i used it for my bathing tub and my swimming pool and we made a mud pit to wrestle my cousin in. Girls against girls and boys against boys my granny said. Till i won all the girls at least twice then she said i could wrestle the boys. With my clothes on of course. Kyle was the only one that could beat me of my cousins. Now he is gangsta thug through and through. Big as Hell and i know I'd be a dumb bitch to start with him but he ain't nothing but a big ole teddy bear to most. Still would not cross him a bit. I beat a few of my uncles, too. But to be fair i was pretty wiggly and we were in some real wet slick mud from my tub overflow and swimming with the girl cousins and the boys splashing during their turn. And a bit of sprinkle instigation from my granny spraying us down to call quits and to hose those beat down so they could go play safe.

So that night i was hiding in my moms old bed with granny in her little house and my uncle all dumb came with my mom, not knowing what was to happen. Well my mom told little old Shane to beat it and my mom was all trying her Sins again and she kept wiggling at the curtain and all so I crept up to the corner and peeked around and Denise said "why is she in here?"

Granny said "well you didn't even know she was missing"

And so Denise punched her right in the eye! So i jumped up and knocked down the blue and green and yellow paisley curtain to separate the bed space, thankfully I jumped and it didn't heat me full on the head and i started screaming full on hoping my uncle was close enough to hear.

He was But he ran in the big house to get my dad and his dad and anyone else.

I was standing on the curtain when Denise stabbed my granny with the blue note pen we were using to talk with. And stabbed my granny right in the ankle space above her foot and under the calf.

Then she came for me so i ducked in that small 5 feet of space that the kitchen covered, yanked that pen out my granny and went towards my mom and she ran for the door, the fat coward. So I stabbed her right in the left shoulder blade like a boss bitch. I was 4 years old.

"Well you little" she spat as she turned with eyes only the Devil himself would be fond of. I was fucking exhausted fighting all day and being in the mud and all and i had been sleeping so i got pissed. I wouldn't done that shit she stayed in the big house like she was supposed to.

So i took that pan granny put in the drawer, a good 9 inch iron skillet only God could made and I started beating the shit outta her. Right on the left side of the face first then she fell all fake and i kept beating her then she started biting my granny!!! Right about then the door flew open and my little uncle that had just been out was there and he said "they're coming" i saw relief on my granny i was all "no i got this, shut the door I don't need the whole house seeing this"

But i seen a pair of old man grandpa hands that been working the prison for 40 years reach in and grab those fat ankles and pull her out and im yelling and beating her the whole time. "Hey! What the Hell are you doing?! I ain't finished! Shit and Fuck! Get back here you dumb bitch ---"

And i looked up in the dark and saw nothing but my grandpa's bright blue eyes twinkling in the low kitchen light "Well finish"

"I... Uh.. Let me get the pan!" I was plum confused "are you sure? I can for sure kill her"

"As you wish" and he gestured toward my mother's body. She was wrestling to wake up and grandpa put his bare foot brave to walk in the desert valley of Arizona square on her back and i told him hold on to the door so he didnt fall and i went wailing on her till my dad came and i looked at my dad with that iron pan in both my hands held low at my hips "but I'm not finished"

Oh grandpa just started laughing so hard he could barely stand i was glad he held that door cause for sure he would fallen. And grandpa said "ah just let her"

"Alright!!!" I started to begin wailing again "oh can i dad?" I was a perfect child, always getting permission from adults to murder. Still do. Still do. Except for here and there in My teenage years. "Oh and someone got to take care of her!" Cause my dad and grandpa were wondering if i was finished cause i was covered in blood. And granny was yelling "no its me! Let her finish!"

So my dad went in and left to get some bandages from the house. Cause she was squirting blood all over. And dripping and her tea towel (hand towel) was soaked nearly full of blood except the corners.

Granny hollering "I'll be fine! Let her finish!"

Y'all see me in this old lady? Genetics baby, i got the good ones.

So i started wailing harder than ever on that old beast. Im only four and that iron skillet was heavy and i been done using my muscles for the day already. But i got fueled for seeing that blood and i kept on the back of her neck till grandpa said "woah what's that pen doing out her back? Did you do your granny too?"

My mouth dropped open "no sir"

"Alright then finish" just like a prison guard he told me.

"Well yes sir where shall i hit?" My granny had been teaching me old fancy words and styles of speaking from "the old South" all day. Kinda testing me. She would say a sentence like "shall I order some tea?" And I had to guess what she asked "oh can you" and I would write "can" and she would say what kinda can? She would show me green bean can and i would shake my head no.

"Well you can hit her in the legs so she can't walk and do this no more"

So i hit her square on her lower ass "the top of the legs! The middle! The ankle, the calve!" I went up and down shouting anatomy I looked up at my granny and she looked tired with her head down so i yelled "oh fuck! Is she alright?!? Dad is my granny--?" And she waved her hand at me my dad was looking up at me, his eyes full of pain, sadness and glistening with humor and admiration. My mouth fell over "are you" and i stumbled towards him and granny waved me off again and i seen she was laughing and she sat up heehawwing all kinds! Then put her head down. Grandpa was shaking the whole door with his laughing nearly shaking it plumb off i was afraid. "Now what were you doing when i was shouting anatomy? Your face was different" i hit that ink pen in further about all i could muscle up seeing everyone was alright.

"Anatomy? Billy where she learned this shit from? I know shall and sir was from her but anatomy?! What? Go on you can hit again"

"Oh Idk i guess Denise"

"Yeah that bitch be hitting me if i don't help her study right. Don't you?" I grabbed her by the back of her bloody head and looked in her face and dropped both her and the pan "oh my God, that's gross. She about to stink"

She was dead.

"Now we gotta do CPR" said my tired dad

"Now you hold on! Now this is MY house! Sabrina you do the CPR" i helped him flip the bitch over "now Billy you stay right there. Sabrina now you jump on her chest! Get to starting!"

"But i don't wanna!!!!"

"Now come on I'll help you. Well hold hands, you know how to take a life dont you? Now you gotta earn your path and make sure you know how to restart one too! Now come on! Don't run!"

Dam I tried not to learn that lesson and dam if it hadn't stuck with me all these years. 4 year old kid me learned some real stuff back then in 1985 but here in 2019 i learned the rest of my path. Sometimes it's alright to let me finish and run off. Now me and Jesse are in a fight because he disagreed with me, i got real mad and some new friends questioned my judgement. But they understood after a nap. And i still ain't friends with Jesse now. Cause it ain't about death with him its the fact he still wants kr to suffer. So I'm glad my granny is back Because she aint that way. My grandpa is here, too And he sure is sorry. He died of cancer. My Granny just cause she was old lonely and had a broken heart. And Jesse better watch the fuck out cause hes the liar, not me. He got me mad. Done sent two people to kill me in Santa Fe and some bitch tonight all talking about hiding on my porch with a gun. I told his bitch ass he better be in a bullet proof vest cause ima shoot his face with it. He got scared m i told him he better start running and jesse was all she's too fat to chase you!! For real. My legs work. Today in 2019.

So now i listened cause my dad yelled but my granny said "let her run!"

But I listened cause my dad always protected me so if it was me I'd want CPR probably

And we had a discussion about it. And grandpa said "you want me and your dad to do it or you want me and you?!"

"Me and you, i guess. If someone's gotta do it better be Me, sir i got it" i grudgingly climbed on my moms fat where my grandpa gave me a tight hug and made my sadness disappate.

I tried to run again "now come here!"

"Awh! I thought I'd get a hug and that would be the end!"

"Is that what your mother do to you?"

I started all crying trying to explain.

"Never Mind ill call the ambulance"

My dad did and my dad said not to jump and put my feet where they should go and i just moved up and down real soft a bit once the ambulance lights turned the corner.

Grandpa said to take granny first although she was hurt a bit and said Denise was going to through coroner and the EMT argued "we are here to save a life"

"Then save her!" He pointed at me, "SHE did this Cause her momma, this one" he pointed at the ground "has been attacking dear old granny all day! Now call the coroner! I would say im sorry! But im not! Now call it up use the phone! Go on and do it!"

"Sir let me remind you you're not the sheriff!"

"then call him!!"

"Im glad I'm not in prison because now I can see why you work there youre scaryyyy"

"Did he make you do it?!?!"

"He stabbed my granny with a pen? No she did!!!!"

Granpa was all "whoa! Now she knows consequences of actions and you're standing here arguing and i got one bleeding to death, a little one all nervous and a dead body! Are you here to save a life or what not?!?!"

"Yes sir. Let me get in there to old granny but move her" finally he looked down "oh she's dead. Im sorry sir"

"Well i ain't!" My grandpa was loud granny laughed.

"Y'all are about as sick in the head as i ever seen" the EMT tried not to laugh

"Well you see a grown woman trying to rape your granny! That was her mom and she got her and i sure aint sorry it's about the 5th time today I had to get onto her about behaving!" Then grandpa's voice got quiet and gentler "now this one!" And he picked me up and carried me "now im going over to the tractor!!" And he put me up high on it and told me he was hiding me and I could run if i wanted, no one would ever catch me.

I didn't. And i was told to tell only what Denise had done to my granny. And i had won at muscle wrestling all day in the mud and i was in there sleep to protect my granny And i did. To the fullest extent of the law.

Unfortunately they sent the fat old bitch to the hospital and got her dumb ass back to life. Unfortunately I didn't beat it into her brains well enough... Cause now 34 years later.... Denise hasn't changed.

We should just put her in the field and ran her over with the tractor for the horses to eat and the dogs.

Its made me wiser to the world around me. Smarter than i can stand, until i want death myself because there's no end to misery.

But I've learned that i can't kill them all. So days that I get the good old dead back relieve a misery that i cannot stand that I see in so many people.

And those life lessons I learned all those years ago at the tender age of four have always stuck with me and have changed the world m from Iraq to Afghanistan to the good old USA. And they will continue to. And even in London.

And that's my promise given to me by the dead that they intend to keep.

So lately I've been thinking about Revelations in the bible. It keeps me happy to think one day (hopefully soon) all the evil will drop dead and all the good ghosts can once again have bodies they can keep. That keeps me healthy and "mentally sane" as they call it.