#I was gonna Queue this shit but for some reason Tumblr doesn't like me so have it at 2AM I guess..

[commanderfloppy]

I did @silvesi 's Art timeline thing, was a lot of looking through old notebooks but it was pretty fun!

Crazy to see how long ago certain art periods in my life were, and how I improved through the years!

Transcript now below the cut (Becuase my writing is probably a bit hard to read)

Cesco’s Art Journey

2009-2022 

2009-10: 8-9 yr/o

I loved old cartoons and made Looney Tunes style comics with OC’s like; Tom the Cat, and the Cartoon Law Police.  

Favorite things to draw: Dragons, Secret bases, Comics

2011-12: 10-11 yr/o

Anime influence sets in, I start defining the head from the neck. I got really into MLP and drew a lot of that. Also made my half-fairy half-witch mechanic OC. 

Favorite things to draw: Ponies, My New OC, Sailor Moon

^ B.D. Before Deviantart (Dating for Art during this period may not be accurate) 

Deviant Art Era: 

2013: 12 yr/o

Anime style gets even more set in. Bodies become more proportional, heads less dorito shaped. My Gw2 art started a little here. I also made more (Self-insert) OCs. 

Favorite things to draw: Gw2, Anime Girls

2014: 13 yr/o

Got a tablet and started some digital art. A lot of Warriors art because I had written a fanfic, (and ran a Cinderpelt/Heart ask blog). Also got a blender pencil and learned how to shade

Favorite things to draw: Warrior Cats, Anime, Mermaids, Cat People.

2015: 14 yr/o

SO Much Art this year! Probably related to my realization I could draw people who were not white (like I was). A lot of new OCs, also the start of my Splatoon Phase. No digital art (It got lost :( ) 

Favorite things to draw: All my New OCs! Inklings. 

A.D. After Deviantart v 

2016: 15 yr/o

Splatoon phase is in full force now. My style moves away from anime as I focus more on facial features (Drawing noses my beloved). I realized I was gay and so were my OCs, (thank you Undyne Undertale). Also got really into Star Wars again (thank you Clone Wars) 

Favorite things to draw: My Inkling OCs, Undyne, Ahsoka, My Cat and Rabbit OCs (Tajiri and Alkita) 

2017: 16 yr/o

OCs Galore! Now with stories! I made SO Many new OCs this year, my universe of elves, gay royals, a magical girl and magical boy. Things also got very gay and trans this year. I humanized my Splatoon OCs because I phased out of that. 

Favorite things to draw: Elves, Mira and Lillian (Splat OCs), Gay and Trans people (a new constant in my art) 

2018: 17 yr/o

Made a whole new roster of Monster OCs for a (hypothetical) dating sim. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles hyperfixation comes back with a vengeance, but drawing turtles is hard so I make a human AU (no set era, an amalgamation of all versions + my own characterizatoins) This is also the start of some Floppy drawings in my sketchbook 👀?

Favorite things to draw: Human TMNT, Monster OCs, Monster High characters. 

2019: 18 yr/o

Even more TMNT and Monsters, though things start to slow down and most of my sketches are in my school sketchbook. 

Favorite things to draw: Human TMNT, Monsters, Made up gods and Mythologies. 

2020: 19 yr/o

Was simultaneously a Very bad and Very good year for art. Lots of finished pieces for my Portfolio, but also a lot of Struggle. Started my Gw2 blog though!

Favorite things to draw: Portfolio Lockdown year. (Gw2 OCs?) 

2021: 20 yr/o

This year was rough at the start, I think this blog is what kept me going. It was nice to have an outlet to talk about OCs (No longer trapped in Google Docs) 

Favorite things to draw: Can you guess?

2022: 21 yr/o

This year has also been a rough one, but one again I am happy to have this blog as an outlet. Things have definitely gotten more active here, especially with all the Rp events! So here’s to 2023 being even better!

Favorite things to draw: My gay ass plants 

[catcrumb]

How do you stay motivated to do dailies? I really admire your dedication to these funky fresh cats. I've tried doing my own dailies (drawing, writing etc), but always lose steam about a week in. Was there a point when it became second nature, and just fit really easily into your routine? Or is it always going to be a bit of an uphill battle?

my big rule is that it doesn't have to be "good." that was the first and still the most important rule. some days i have the willpower to get out my tablet! some days i have my mouse! and some days i just wiggle my finger in the shape of a cat on my laptop's trackpad, slap some random thought i had onto it, and hit that post button. doesn't have to be perfect. doesn't have to be a work of art. could look like complete shit. just has to be a cat.

like this guy? very low effort! i had a headache that evening after doing a bunch of things i needed to do, and was like "ah fuck i still gotta do today's catcrumb". this took me thirty seconds. but that was that day.

something that has also helped me a lot is making my rule "one per day", not "once per day". after drawing the one i posted tonight, i drew two more doodles that are gonna be tomorrow's and the day after that's catcrumbs. so i don't have to draw for the next day and a half! the queue function is one of the big reasons i really enjoy tumblr as a platform. (the queue, tags as undervoice, tags for archival purposes, easy chronological and sortable archive/portfolio, and the anonymity. not to mention the vibes. also ive been here for over a decade and can't leave)

also, i use mspaint because it has a limited toolset, so it's just less overwhelming and not as daunting as the beefier art program i have for other art. if i had to open up clip studio paint every day....... i would not have lasted two years lmao.

and tbh the limited toolset has made me feel freer to try new things! like with color! when i was drawing mostly in Digital Art Programs and the edges of school papers i rarely ever got to coloring because i would spend so long on the lines. but with mspaint i draw with the pixel-pencil so it's easier to use the fill tool. this is one of my first little "landscapes" :) i drew it in february 2020. i still think about it a lot!

(also, i've found that the landscapes, which i spend more time and effort on, get less of a response than the scribbly ones. which i'm not bothered by, because 1. it makes me feel less pressured to do the big labors of love 2. it makes me feel unashamed when i only have energy for a quick scribble 3. my loved ones adore my little landscapes, and that's more important to me than Number Goes Up. but also it's fun to see the number go up in response to my scribble. it's a win/win.)

and finally there's accountability. i have a very firm rule with myself that i draw for ME, and my followers are a side effect/bonus of me posting it publicly. i do not create for an audience. to quote:

The difference between an inner-directed process of discovery and a kind of outer-directed pseudo-creativity that in its pursuit of attention gets overwhelmed by desperation.

but that doesn't mean that attention doesn't matter to me. i would not have gotten as far as i did if i hadn't shown my art to my friends/mutuals and gotten very sweet responses from them. that was what made catcrumb happen: the people who i know, am close to, and whose kindness is personal to me. i adore and appreciate the kindness of strangers! but it has to come in second to the kindness of friends, because otherwise you will go crazy. i'm pretty lucky that i have the sort of homebody personality that has little interest in strangers, which helps my brain not get rotted by clout.

so i showed my art to my friends, i got encouragement, they thought i was funny, i kept going, because i liked amusing myself and my friends with my little drawings. and then the snowball went further down the hill, etc etc. nowadays my main motivator is that i told my mom about catcrumb and she would definitely say something if i didn't post. sometimes just knowing that someone would notice is enough.

i hope this is useful. i am a person with a couple of brain problems that have made me debilitatingly incapable of forming and maintaining habits my entire life, so i'm honestly shocked that ive managed to keep a daily habit going for two years! ive never managed anything like that before! maybe because it doesn't Matter. i don't do catcrumb for money - ive thought about a patreon, but i couldn't do it. my executive dysfunction is too powerful, and catcrumb has always been about being the teeniest task to execute.

and it makes me smile. i like drawing little cats sitting around smiling or yelling or holding an object. :~)

tl;dr keep the bar as close to the ground as you possibly can

[bluewinnerangel]

DEMY ARE YOU STILL WITH US?!

CAN YOU CONFIRM HE IS IN FACT REAL?!

I am on the other side of the world and still can’t move on from this. How does anyone with daily contact with him survive?

ALSO HIS SHIRT. ALSO HIS LIL CURL His curl I couldn't stop watching.... I got the good stuff men i was bless-ed my show fucking ruled so fking hard

Also orange shirt plus Teenage Dirtbag in Amsterdam? This plus that equals:

Also

I just wanna put this pic somewhere too where he might or might not be looking at me and my funny lil shirt im not gonna tell u what it is because i might wanna wear it again and i don't need to be recognised but like who knows its half a pixel but I love these pics lol like the experience bro to experience HIM. LIKE. HE'S REAL. HE'S THERE AND HE WAS SO GOOD. SO AMAZING.

Okay I'll try to stop all-capsing now and tell you all about it. Gonna put a cut in because BLAAAAA about the entire thing including a lot of personal experience queueing and seeing the fans and stuff so if you're here to read a beautiful written concert review about all the songs you're shit outta luck that mans everything i have no words for how mindblowing it was but ill throw some pics at the end to make up for all the rambling ok:

Before the concert - So first of all I have to acknowledge how much of a privilege it is to even be able to watch him like that, not just that he's got a show somewhere close enough to you it doesn't cost you a fortune to even be there (and then still.. to even be able to afford a ticket), and managing to get a ticket in the first place, but I joined the queue in the afternoon the day before in order to be sure of a good spot without being an asshole about it sdfasd (with that I mean, others ensured their spots with other tactics causing quite the.. vibe.. at the front there. It's not even the "cutting line" I'm bothered by it's the part where they'd just brag over and over how they did that. Like you're trying to make people around you feel like shit or start an argument like do you wanna get punched by a horde of exhausted people or what like let's just all enjoy the show instead maybe). Anyway about the privilege thing. You have to be able to afford the time and money to accommodate yourself and also.. who the fuck does that for anyone? that's insane it's absolute fucking insanity what the fuck are all of us what the fuck does this man do to us that we do that for him like it's. ridiculous. I can't believe how willing I was to do that ksadjlakj. I didn't think I was. I don't think it makes sense to do this. I'm gonna be honest here I don't enjoy this aspect of the fandom, this need to be in the first box of people to enter, to run to barricade (tbh that part was kinda fun), to exhaust yourself for 24+ hours, remove comfort, perhaps endanger yourself if you aren't able to do it properly for health reasons or just naivety or whatever, to all keep inching the time you need to be there to get a regular spot further up and up and up as tour goes on until people are claiming the venue doors a full 2 days in advance. And even on the day like if you wanna be in the first 2000 to get in you need to be there for like 8 hours (im just saying numbers here like these are prob total bs but you get the point) like either you camp to be in the first lil clump of people that are let in, or you just arrive just before it starts. Those are your options really. To be honest I wasn't planning on sitting there for 24hrs but I did, like on the spot I decided to stay, because I was there the day before just to bring my friends ( @ialwaysknewyouwerepunk and partner <3 EDIT: @caralara !!! I didn't know if you wanted to be tumblr official so I didn't tag but EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HI) some stuff for camping and then the plan was for me to go to sleep and join them early morning. But once the system was explained it was clear that would mean a lot of queueing by myself and I just wanted to be with them so I stayed and we managed and were somehow still prepared even though it was an improvised thing. It was actually really fun, I didn't mind any of it really. But that was 100% the company. And in that regard I do get this whole... situation we got going on before every show where fans are just all have a big camp out. It's addictive even, it's part of the whole experience, I do really get it, but for that aspect of it, not for the need to be at the front over and over again. That's just... an amazing perk then. Like really I'd queue again if there are people in it that I wanna hang out with and I wouldn't see them otherwise, but in no way am I sitting outside for that long solely to get a good spot at a concert. Even if that's louis. And the best fucking thing I've ever seen. Anyway on friday we just snoozed with a view of the tour bus which was like.. a night under the stars get it asddsf. The next day we sat in the front lil box for the special first 150 and it was funny to recognize a lot of common fandom faces and then figuring out from what exactly.

I also talked to one of the people working at the venue, and they said they've only seen something similar 4 or 5 events in the 20 years they've been doing this work, but they were all huge and in Ziggo Dome, another venue at that square. They also let us store our stuff in lockers beforehand at that venue instead (but i think a lot of people already had means to store their stuff)... I guess they got the memo we would NOT take ANY time putting those safe whatsoever once the doors opened. literally people were willing to risk their lives and possessions for a good spot. Really just all logic is out the window for louis tomlinson istg and I knew this of course but seeing it all around me was new. Oh but talking to other fans? TALKING TO ELLA? my PEOPLE my PEEOPLLLEEEEE I'm SO happy I got to meet you two you are such amazing amazing kind souls we're absolutely gonna meet again weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

So it got pretty shit about 2 hrs before we could get in, because the sun was JUST behind the building and all of us had already stored all our stuff and the temp was being weird, like it almost heated up and then it didn't so we weren't doin too well luv and that was the first moment I really felt like this wasn't it this wasn't the way akasljsal.

Inside - Once the doors opened of course it was total chaos and we ran and managed to get on what I think was 4th row? but by the end it was like 6 or 7. We were slightly to the left, this is the exact spot with the help of louis pointing at me of course its potato footage:

There was a water sent into the crowd, us and the people in front and behind us had a job like we were constantly busy handing over plastic cups, both full ones into the crowd and empty ones back, it got a bit less motivated to keep that up after a while but let me tell you i NEEDED that water and so i also wanted everyone behind me to get it if they'd feel like me or worse. I was well hydrated, i needed to pee but you don't notice it at all with all the adrenaline, but with all the screaming and jumping and post covid lungs/throat you need it.

The intro is LOUD. LIKE. LOUD. Like I felt that everywhere and it adds to the buildup and anticipation perfectly and then the curtain falls and he walks in and I apparently look like a child with wonder in its eyes when he came on, because these bitches were filming me (<3) and I got to see my reaction and its .. askdljalks cute I guess. yeah and then he was just there. he was there. in HD boy real life in very high quality did you know that? and hes fucking perfect like seriously what the hell and he just-. I don't have words I don't get it. I was going in between losing my shit dancing and singing and everything, just standing there staring at him, and trying to take some pictures. Unfortunately the taking pictures caused me to miss his stupidass smileyface green wink flickering thing (did you pick that up online? Yeah it did.). I was taking pictures at that exact moment but it didn't catch it rip.

Another unfortunate bit was that my hearing got fucked from the beginning with all the screaming so I didn't get to fully experience his sound but it was already SO overwhelming in every other aspect I didn't even really mind plus the premise of seeing him again ASAP and experience it then, with the assumption I'll get a ticket (got my eyes on Antwerp so if anyone has one please) that is.

Then there were the stops... again... I don't know if it was just one person or multiple that needed assistance but the show got stopped 2 times and you can tell he's so fking sick of it. I was fking sick of it. Anyway shits not nice of me to say, perhaps these people were in big need of assistance for reasons out of anyone's control and it did end badly but you just get so desensitized to it when it happens constantly I'm just afraid people are either clueless to the point where they just didn't know they couldn't handle it, that with not knowing how to take care of themselves included, or knowing they can't but are willing to risk everything to see him... or they're exaggerating, perhaps not even consciously, to get an unfortunate notice. Like OmG LoUiS CaReS aBoUt Me yeah but do u care about louis anyway I'm just afraid of people, louis included, not responding anymore when there's a very critical emergency at some point and everyone yells to stop the show and louis is just like bitch here we go again whenever i stop the show everyones just good what are we doing lemme just continue? you know? I thought he said something like "really?" something too but it's all a blur.

have a pic have a pic

But man the ENERGY? THE CONFIDENCE? THE even though i know every single fucking bit of this show because ive watched lives 30+x times this was still just all so .. another level. Ella warned me beforehand that it's nothing like it. The lives are missing the sound the vibe the entire stage his whole body how he moves how he talks where he is within the space how awesome his band is the crowd EVERYTHING and man I was not prepared. I have a lil confession i always thought he was a lil awkward. Cute awkward but still... I thought he was awkward and turns out you can make the most confident man look awkward when you zoom in on their face performing without showing the rest of the performance, environment, nothing, and perhaps further made awkward by you as the viewer sitting in your pjs snacking in front of a screen watching it, who knew, apparently. BOY OH BOY he is NOT awkward. He owns that fking stage. What the fuck. Not even a lil bit. I was so so so wrong. I'm. intimidated lol (somehow wasnt at all when he pointed ... i was like YUUUUUHHH BROOOO BRING IT [my partner is telling me to make an edit of mad max where hes like HE LOOKED AT ME HE LOOKED ME STRAIGHT IN THE EYE!!!! i just might]) but yeah so yeah jesus christ omg.

picspics this is a ramble

As for things during the concert I noticed that were cute outside of the regular program... there was a sign in the crowd that said stage dive or something so he saw it, laughed at it, and then pretended to stage dive. it was cute af. he did rock paper scissors, he pointed and agreed with a sign that asked if they could smoke a joint together after the show, he cracked the absolute fuck up about a sign that said "stroganoff to get it wrong? In front of all these people" which was all the way to the right of the stage. Like he deadass just stayed in it it was so fking hilarious watching him just crackling.

He was vibing with someone off stage and making funny movements idk what it was but i was just staring like oh. He really loved some signs all the way to the left as well but I didn't know what they were.

He REALLY hated someone else that seemed to be at barrier on the left of the stage too, it was like... like a fucking dagger stabbed me lol he just gave them the 2 fingers british fuck you sign, then walked away not looking at them and flipping them off behind his back but it was with SUCH force. He was MAD. No idea what he saw but he was not happy. He then looked at one of the bandmembers like yeah they deserve it kinda thing.

He said "I see ya at the back" at some point and we looked back and didn't really see anything. There was a group cheering and jumping, so my best guess is he saw them vibing. There were pride flags on the balcony tho so it could have been that as well.

When he jumped off the stage during kmm we lost him for a long time and then he popped up reaaaaallyl short he just went BLOOP and gone, not sure about that, maybe someone pulled him? idk.

Also he refused to acknowledge a sign that said something not very interesting because we were right behind it and every time he came close like CLOSE CLOSE like i can SEE YOU SO WELL RN close the fucking sign would pop up with the speed of 28 lightyears so stronk so high so present I couldn't see him basically at fucking all i mean... it needs an arrow to show you where louis is because you can't fucking seeeeeeeeee, this is no zoom what it looked like:

I mean.. after the 5th time he has stood right in front of you reading it you don't need to keep holding it up after that? He's read it. What do you want him to do? I'm sorry he's just not gonna interact with it the 28th time if he hasn't 27 times before. It's done lemme see him please :') But this is going somewhere I promise because after a while at more than one occasion he tried to look around it at fucking us god damn it and it was in the way and so I missed 2 or 3 interactions that were directed at either one of us or one of the people next to us because only one of us at the time could see him whenever he got near so I just got half of a sentence or movement or whatever that I couldn't make out now and then, no idea, maybe watch an uploaded live, I know this one was very close to us, maybe I will, but there's one happening very soon so. Anyway he could've been interested in giving us that lil pointypoint for many reasons of which half aren't mine to tell so I won't, but for me it was just 1) going fucking mental, and it wasn't to like get him to see me do that, but lemme tell you when he confirmed that he did and enjoyed it I just got such a fucking sense of like this is the tiny thing I just gave back to him that he's given me. That seems weird probably but I'm very very held back, not just with a celebrity everyone wants to get near it seems, but with anyone I'm just always thinking I'm violating peoples space and I annoy you when I alert you of my existence basically that's just a me thing and makes me not want to like, meet him, send him anything, just... nada. Like I just don't wanna bother anyone. But like this? It's perfect. He had all the freedom to not acknowledge me but he did on his own free will because he enjoyed it and fed off the energy there seeing how ALDKJSDKLJLK we were going from his music and performance? what the fuck else would i want like shit that's just. thats perfect. But then there's 2) which is my shirt, which again I'm not gonna say just yet but you're welcome to ask me in a dm if we talk of course, but it's just combining 2 things he's big on so it would make sense it'd catch his attention.

But that's not what I came there for. I don't wanna be like y/n moment xoxo let's get more (but also, I do now, because he RUINED IT. HE RUINED IT. nothing is gonna compare to him fucking being like YO THIS BITCH IS GOING FOR IT *P O I N T S* like fuck) I just wanted to see him at least once because I could, and I was honestly planning on getting there just before it started and standing at the back by myself, chilling. But that's not what I got, I got to meet amazing people and had the fucking time of my fucking life holy shit. Like everything went better than I could've ever imagined and he was better than i had imagined and i already thought he was everything.

LOOK AT THAT FUCKER WITH THE POINT THAT WILL SHIT ON MY FUTURE CONCERTS:

[glowingbadger]

Blog Info Speedrun

Requests: CLOSED while I work on the kink prompts (details here) To see what I'm working on, the full list of kink prompt requests I've accepted can be seen here~

Confessions, concepts, generally thirsting: Always OPEN

^ seriously I love blindly thirst-posting, send me that shit

Commissions: CLOSED for now - my life is a bit too chaotic to hold myself to writing deadlines

~~~

Fandoms I write for

^^^ click the link, but here's the short version: Fire Emblem. Genshin Impact, Kingdom Hearts, Yu Yu Hakusho, Jojo's Bizarre Adventure

Plus others that I'm happy to chat and thirst post about, but may not know well enough or feel confident enough about the material to actually write for.

~~~

Masterlists:

^ if that link doesn't work, here's my masterlists by fandom:

Fire Emblem Three Houses/Hopes: Poly & Multi-character Church, Ashen Wolves, Misc Golden Deer Blue Lions Black Eagles

Fire Emblem (misc)

Genshin Impact

Kingdom Hearts

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

Yu Yu Hakusho

Misc / other (thus far, Stardew Valley, Honkai Star Rail, Rune Factory 5, and subject to grow over time)

~~~

Me: just call me Badger if you want

She/her/they/whatever

I am old and write smut, minors DNI you will get blocked

I'm a bit cagey about some personal info on this blog, but when it comes to thirsting, gushing about F/Os, kinks, w/e, send it all my way, we're open about our horny here.

~~~

When requesting (the short list):

No minors (under 18), no lolis, no "totally 100 years old but looks and/or is written like a child" - if canon age is unknown I'll use my best judgement and you'll just have to be okay with that.

Non-con is generally a no, Yandere and Dub-con are a conditional yes (the condition is that I'll decide whether I'm cozy with it or not on a case-by-case basis)

Don't ask for more than 3 characters in one ask- no, the solution to this is NOT to send multiple asks to cover all the characters you want, I'll just start deleting them.

I have no interest whatsoever in writing the 'player insert' characters from games (Lumine/Aether from Genshin, Ares/Alice from RF5, literally all of them from the Fire Emblem series, etc), so I'll likely ignore requests asking for them. I'm more than happy to incorporate aspects of these characters into how I write the 'reader insert' in my fics, but if you're asking for, like, Byleth x Reader or Lumine x Reader, I probably won't bite because player insert characters are boring, fight me about it.

** Please specify if you have a preferred gender/gender identity for the ReaderInsert character- I'll likely default to Fem or AFAB if it's left vague

** Please specify if you want a poly relationship, rather than just thoughts on multiple characters.

-> see more in my full rules list

~~~

If I do not get to your request, here are a few possible reasons:

- Tumblr ate your Ask (it do that sometimes wtf), or you sent it when my requests were CLOSED, so I deleted it

- I have already done something very similar in the past and have nothing new to add to the concept 

- It's a concept that I simply don't have any interesting thoughts on and can't find much to write for it- sorry, I'm human 

- It goes against one or more of my rules (duh) 

- I've received too many asks from you and I'm trying to keep my queue open for new-comers and shy folks. 

- You asked me to write for like a dozen characters in one Ask and like listen dawg, I do this for fun, I don't need to be stressed keeping track of that many people lol 

And finally:

- Idk man I do what I want. It's free smut, get off my back.

As a final note: My schedule is Wack and changes a lot. If I'm slow to update and do requests, you're just gonna have to learn to live with it somehow.