#I was getting hyped to start watching the bear's new season today because my friend lend me her disney+ account

[amvguy]

piracy is my best friend!! forever!! and ever!! mwah mwah <-that's me kissing the sketchy torrent site i frequent

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #343

“i slither like a viper and get you by the neck  /  i know a thousand ways to help you forget about her”

What's your favorite kind of bear? I don't really know. I just like bears. Have you ever sent a FWD because you were afraid? Ha, yup, as a little kid. Would you ever date more than one person at a time? Nooooo sir. Have you ever rebounded... or been someone's rebound? No. What’s the biggest argument you’ve ever had with a family member? Did things ever go back to how they were beforehand? My grandmother cursed me the fuuuuck out one night as a kid because I was in a mood and didn't tell my mother goodnight. I still remember being called an ungrateful bitch with her like an inch from my face, and admittedly, I was being rude because I wanted to go home, but it kinda scarred me for life. For the remainder of her life, I was always sort of on edge around her and was convinced she didn't like me. Have you ever experienced some kind of natural disaster? I've been through lots of hurricanes. None that massively affected my life, though. If you have pets, do you feed them human food or do they just get regular pet food? If they do get human food, what’s their favorite thing to have? Venus is a snake, so she obviously doesn't get food meant for humans. Roman is very well-trained to not beg or make a move for people's food; he tried once as a kitten, and giving him a pop taught him right away. Have you ever been in a physical fight? Who won? No. What’s the mode of transport that you take or use the most? The car. Mom's, specifically. Have you ever had a zoo keeper experience or anything where you’ve been able to go behind the scenes and look after/feed the animals? No, but I wish. :( Would you ever want the responsibility of being a politician or a similar position of power? NOOOOOOO. What’s something your parents do that really annoys you? Mom is *always* right, pretty much indisputably. And she WILL have the last word. Dad, meanwhile, can be pretty rude to people. I don't think he realizes it half the time, but still. It's not an excuse. What is your main source of anxiety? Social interactions. What’s your favorite 90s cartoon? Pokemon. Describe the moment you realized you were falling in love with someone. I'd rather not. What’s your favorite sparkling water brand/flavor? I've never tried sparkling water. What’s your favorite makeup brand/brands? I don't have a favorite, considering I don't wear it nearly enough and have never even bought my own. I just use whatever Mom buys. What are some female names you would name a baby? Alessandra is my favorite for sure. I also love Anneliese, Justine, Evelyn, Chloe, Evangeline, Quinn... There's a lot. What about male? Severin is my favorite, and I also like Damien, Vincent, Victor, and Luther. Do you have any subscription boxes? No. What fictional creature would you like as a pet? I want a dragon, goddammit. Idc if it can breathe fire ok I want a dragon. Ewoks are also the one and only thing I enjoy from Star Wars. What kind of dwelling do you live in? Just a one-story house. Is there anyone you work with that you don't get along with? Why? N/A Do you have an opinion on adopting/purchasing a pet? PLEASE adopt, especially with cats and dogs, given the number of strays. Purebreds tend to have so many underlying issues, and besides, it's just a LOT of money for an animal that probably wouldn't outlive a mutt. Don't feed the machine if you can. What's your favorite chain restaurant? The Cheesecake Factory or Olive Garden. Why were you last pulled over? I’ve never been pulled over before. What was the last thing you've done on the water? Just kinda swam around a bit in the ocean. It was so warm, totally like a bath. I do NOT miss that sun poisoning, though. Are you cool with swimming in a lake? I think I'd do it if someone invited me to, and the lake didn't look filthy, of course. Do you have a drone? No. What's your favorite hole-in-the-wall restaurant? We have this tiny, local Mexican place that's really good. I don't know the name of it, and I wouldn't share it for obvious reasons. What do you order from there? Chips and salsa of course, along with a shrimp and cheese quesadilla, and finally their cheesy rice. What's your favorite ice-cream flavor? Depending on my mood, it bounces between vanilla with chocolate syrup or just plain chocolate. Do you have any t-shirts from any local businesses? No. Do you listen to any talk shows or podcasts? I used to listen to Mark, Bob, and Wade's podcast, but I'm like... ten months behind, haha. What's something someone calls you that you find endearing? I like "love" a lot. What's your favorite children's book? I loved books like The Rainbow Fish, The Very Hungry Caterpillar, Stellaluna, 10 Minutes 'til Midnight, What Makes a Rainbow?, Chrysanthemum, etc. Is there a new season for a series you're excited to come out? Meerkat Manor comes back this summer, and I am fucking HYPED. How old are you? I'm 25. What is something unique you enjoy about the one you like/love? I tease her about it all the time, but it's really cute that she keeps all of her snakes' good sheds in her room. Proud reptile mom. Are you more liberal or conservative? I'm close to the middle, but I lean towards being more liberal, and I seem to go more that way with time. Do you watch American Horror Story? I used to. I saw the entire first season and really liked it, and then I almost finished the second, but I lost interest. The story got a bit stupid imo. I'd be willing to watch other seasons, though. Does your hometown have any urban legends/scary stories? None that I’m aware of. The people there are scary enough. What's the scariest nightmare you remember having? Let's not talk about it. Are you medicated? Uh very. Are there any apps you're addicted to? Nah. Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? It was initially a bunny holding a polka-dotted blanket, then it become a moose I got from Cabela's when in Ohio. Do you still collect stuffed animals? Only meerkat ones. Have you ever stolen/borrowed clothes from an ex? Haha I've worn Jason's pj pants before and they just kinda... became mine, lol. What's the last movie you watched at home? The Shining, I believe. What's the last movie you watched in theaters? The CGI remake of The Lion King. I still don't get why it was received so badly. Have you ever had eggs cooked over a campfire? I don't think so, no. If you do drink, what's your favorite alcoholic beverage? Margaritas, generally. However, Sara's dad made me this absofuckinglutely incredible chocolate drink before that tasted like a milkshake. It had like, no alcohol flavor, which worked out well for me considering I very much dislike that taste. Are there any songs you've been listening to repetitively lately? There's a new one every day lately, haha. Today it's Halocene's cover of "Love Bites (So Do I)." Cereal, granola, or oatmeal? Cereal. What TV shows did you grow up watching? You gotta gimme an age group... but I'd say the typical stuff for kids of that time. What does your phone case look like? It's just a boring purple that came with it. What were your favorite toys to play with as a child? I looooved playing with my "family" of a father crocodile, a mother deer, their two "children" (a fawn and smaller croc), and "friends" that were little Pokemon figurines. Then there was an evil t-rex with two stupid sidekicks, haha. I can't remember what dinosaurs they were. What's the most embarrassing thing you can ever remember doing? Hold on, lemme find my book. Do you remember what you dreamt about last night? I only very faintly recall dreaming about my cat Roman. Have you ever done anything embarrassing in a dream? Thank FUCK they're just dreams. Do you vape? Nah. What was a song you loved as a child? So uh. Apparently. I loved "Dookie" by Green Day. It's an undying story from Mom about how it came on once at a putt-putt place and I apparently started yelling "dookie!" and dancing. Do you enjoy the Arctic Monkeys? Yeah, I love some of their songs. Are you going to see Finding Dory? You bet your sweet ass I saw it. I've cried everytime I've watched it. Have you ever been horseback-riding? I have not, but I would love to. When was your last piercing? Whenever I got my tragus done, which I can't remember. What did your first crush look like? I don't remember my puppydog love first crush, but I can talk about my first REAL crush, Sebastian. He's a skinny dude with short, brown hair and a lip piercing... I can't remember which kind. He dressed in an emo style, and Facebook pictures at least suggest he still kind of does, I think. Is your body more curvy or flat? Well, I'm not at all skinny, so... What's your least favorite holiday? Probably Christopher Colombus Day, honestly. You didn't discover shit. Don't pretend to me it's worth celebrating in a clean conscience. if you’re having a boring day what do you usually do? If I'm rock-bottom bored, quite honestly, I normally nap, even though I know I shouldn't. Do you turn to food when you're upset? Ugh, I'm admittedly an emotional eater. I got way better about it, and then I started up again. Is your bf/gf good with your parents? I don't have an s/o. Do you think soda should be served at school? Vending machines are fine I suppose, as I don't believe they should be free seeing as they're nothing but sugar content, and I feel schools shouldn't just hand that out to kids at lunch or something. Do dogs have feelings? They sure do. Are you afraid of snakes? Oh no! I adore them. I respect snakes and am going to give wild ones their space for sure considering I don't recognize every native venomous one, but nevertheless, I'm not afraid of them. They are so vital to the ecosystem and are incredibly fascinating animals that deserve our protection. On that note, PLEASE do not kill any snake you come across in your shed or whatever. Call someone to relocate the terrified thing. Favorite snack? It depends on what I'm in the mood for, really. Ever seen The Notebook? Read the book, seen the movie plenty of times. Do you think cussing is trashy? No. Who is the most famous person you’ve met, if any? Nobody. Do you own any animals that aren’t domestic? No. Have you ever feared that you would lose a body part? No. Do you like gore? Yeah, generally. Do you like to drink water? Ugh, I really don't. I wish I did. Have you ever had a wax? I used to get my eyebrows waxed. Do you have any sets of matching bras and underwear? No. Are you any good at improv? Not at ALL.

[najatheangel]

Drabble Ship💚💚💚

Hi, may I have a drabble ship for SHINee, F(X) & Girls' Generation? I usually don't approach strangers, I let them come to me. There's some exceptions like if someone is friendly or has the same interests as me. I'm shy at first when I meet people. As I start to open up, I'll be more talkative and feel more comfortable talking about anything that's on my mind. I'll also joke around a lot. My hobbies are dancing, acting out scenes from my fav tv shows or movies and playing mobile/video games. I like babies (well mostly my baby cousins, they're so cute 🥺), having time to myself, roses, candy, rabbits and fireworks. I dislike snakes, spiders, nosy people, math and naggers it makes not want to do whatever they're nagging me about. Something I look forward in a relationship is spending the holidays together, especially Christmas! Since I'm older and now I know Santa isn't real, my parents have me help pick out presents for my siblings and I also get to pick my present. I like that I can get whatever I want, but I don't feel excited to open it, since I already know what it is. With my partner, I would like us to exchange gifts on Christmas day. Since I won't know what I'm getting, I'll feel the excitement I use to feel as a kid, which will make me very happy. I would also like to do Easter hunts. If you need more info, feel free to message me.

Heyy angel 😊😊, good to see ya requesting. That was a lovely description about yourself and I love how you added your love for Christmas to it. sorry for making you wait so long...

From Shinee, I ship you with...Onew

Winter Wonderland ❄️🤍

Song inspiration: Winter Bear by V

It has been 5 years since you’ve married Onew and your favorite season has finally approached.

On January 21st the first winter snowfall of the new year has finally came. Your husband has finally took you on the Dream honeymoon you’ve been asking for after throwing your wedding on Christmas Day.

You’ve stayed together the whole weekend at the cabins in Tennessee to drink hot cocoa, watch hours worth of k-dramas reanacting your favorite scenes and spending quality time relaxing in the hot tub.

This getaway was perfect, but today was even more special because today your 6th year anniversary since becoming a couple.

The both of you have admired the snow falling from the sky holding hands, reminiscing every moment laughing together.

There was even a moment where you were on the peak of breaking up, because of the importance of his career. The thought made you shed tears.

Y/N: Remember when we almost seperated? Man that was the toughest day wasn’t it?

Onew: Ahh yeah it was. Why all of a sudden you thought of that just now?

You turn walking towards him holding his hands with warming his hands up with your fuzzy gloves.

Y/N: Ever since that day, I’ve realized my life wouldn’t have been the same without you. I mean my family and friends love you coming around every holiday. But, every season as more time pasts by...I love having you around the most.

He sheds a tear as he hears his lovely wife confess such beautiful words. He gently hugs you spinning around singing Winter Bear.

Onew: You have my word honey. I won’t be going anywhere, That’s what I vowed to do didn’t I? He leans in kissing you on the forehead.

Y/N: Mmm, that’s right my Winter Bear. I love you.

Onew: I love you more.

The married couple lives in there own world as they wiggle each other’s noses giggling under the snowfall...

From F(X), I ship you with...Amber

Red Lights🎄❤️

Song Inspiration: Mistletoe by Justin Bieber

It was your Christmas together with your girlfriend Amber and your family. Your grandmother and mom was in the kitchen baking chocolate chip cookies while you, Amber and her younger cousins helped set up the tree.

Amber was on a roll at first nicely setting up all the 24 ornaments you both painted together. It all went down hill until she started tangling up the red Christmas lights.

You and cousins laugh at this embarrassing sight and decided to help her.

Y/N: I told you not to by those cheap ones. Those get tangled very easily and don’t last long.

Amber: I know y/n. The star is the most important part anyways. smiles at you making cute llama noises.

Your younger cousins decided to step back and take a cookie break after helping hanging up the lights.

As your tree is almost complete, Amber pulls out the sparkly golden star to complete the tree and hands it over to you.

Amber: Here you you, for my shinning star.

Y/N: Giggles holding on to the star. Don’t mind if I do sweetie.

Your start climbing onto the three step ladder carefully setting the star on top. As you move away from the tree to get off the steps, you end up falling into Amber’s arms.

Amber: Catches you into her arms tightly and just looks at you caressing the top of your head. Hehe, hi... Aren’t you glad I caught you?

Y/N: Absolutely...I know it’s a bit early, but I should give you your gift. You want to know what it is? Leans in wrapping your arms around her neck.

Amber: Hmm, suprise me. I’m ready.

As soon as you two were about to kiss everyone walks back inside the living room screaming both of your names to try your grandma’s famous chocolate chip cookies before they get cold.

The both of your faces turned as red as the Christmas lights flashing on the christmas tree. At least later that night, Amber was able to receive her gift...

From Girls Generation, I ship you with...Tiffany

Ms. Claus🎵🎤

Song Inspiration: Santa Tell Me by Ariana Grande

You decided to take a trip to the mall to buy your family and friends some gifts for Christmas.

You were walking around for hours going over your checklist of everyone’s wishlist. Your siblings were getting a lot older and there at that age where they don’t want to play with toys anymore.

You were planning on taking a break by eating at the food court exhausted from all the shopping. All of a sudden you hear a crowd of people screaming..

Fan 1: Omg is that Tiffany Young?!

Fan 2: That sure is her, her new Christmas single just came out.

Fan 3: She’s also having a meet and greet right after.

Growing up girls generation was one of your ultimate kpop groups and to hear that Tiffany is performing right now at the mall made you speechless.

The red curtain opens and all you see is Tiffany stunting on stage with her all red ribbon dress smiling so angelic at the crowd.

The jazz band plays the song to her new single Ms. Claus with her unique vocals. In the middle of the performance, you didn’t want to believe it at first, but you noticed her exchanging eye contact with you.

Towards the end of the performance, confetti exploded everywhere making the crowd go insane. She walks off stage standing infront of you handing you a rose smiling at you.

Tiffany: What’s your name?

You look up at her dropping your pretzel on the ground forgetting how to function. Eventually you’ve proceeded to tell her your name.

Tiffany: I’ve noticed you sitting here all by yourself. I just wanted to say your very beautiful and I hope you enjoy your Christmas.

She then kneels down in front of you coming closer to your face kissing your cheek leaving a lip stain on your cheek.

Y/N: Holds marked cheek looking flustered. W-Will I ever see you again?

Tiffany looks back at you one last time and winks.

Tiffany: Whenever you need me, my phone number is attached on the rose...

The crowd looks at you with jaw dropped to the ground and hypes you up saying “Yaa she’s so lucky.” And “You go get her tiger. ”

Not even a second later after her meet and greet was over you’ve decided to call her and stay on the phone for hours. Santa has definitely blessed you this time of year.

@wjnterchild I had so much fun writing these for you. It’s definitely fitting the theme and I hope you enjoyed them. Happy Holidays 💚❤️💚

[km-envs3000-19]

you can’t start a fire without a spark...

In the final days of my summer vacation, I found myself sitting in a lawn chair around a bonfire in the backyard of my Nova Scotia home with my dad. We built this fire together, and now we were enjoying sitting in its’ warmth, watching the sparks slowly rise into the sky, before they disappeared in the silhouette of the tall pine trees where we often see bald eagles perched. I’m reminded of the numerous times I’ve found myself sitting around a bonfire with my dad, and how it was him who really sparked my interest in nature and the great outdoors.

Image 1 (above): A bald eagle sitting on top of a tree in my backyard, captured by my dad (Follow him on Instagram: @/airblair72)

I was born in May of 1999, and by summer of that same year my parents were already taking me camping! I don’t know how my dad convinced my mom to take a new-born baby to a provincial park, and to sleep in a tent for a few nights, but he managed to win her over. As I got older, every summer we would go camping. I was, and still am to this day, captivated by everything my dad showed me in nature. He studied horticulture at the University of Guelph and worked at various greenhouses and parks departments over his lifetime, so he has an expansive knowledge of flora species. I remember going to an arboretum near my childhood home and my dad telling me the scientific names of all the trees, and him sharing what makes each distinct. He was a great nature interpreter, because he knew his audience, and was able to explain things in a way that made sense to an 8-year-old (Beck and Cable).The tree that I was infatuated with right away was the gingko biloba, and, to this day, it is my favourite tree. Now the tree itself isn’t something super special, aside from its’ interesting leaves, it looks like any other tree. But to me, it’s the most beautiful tree because it was my dad who showed it to me. So, whenever I see a gingko leaf on the ground, I smile and think of that day.

Image 2 (above): A photo from one of my early camping trips, which my dad captioned “Kayla the Camper”. Couldn’t say it better myself!

I remember going to Killbear Provincial Park up near Parry Sound, Ontario, and exploring the visitor centre. My dad showed me the display case with scat samples inside, and to me, it was the coolest thing! I remember seeing a display with a photo of a baby black bear scaled to normal size. There was a meter stick beside it, so you could see how tall you were in comparison to the young bear. I remember standing next to the bear and smiling while my dad took a photo, but for some reason, it was only the silly picture that was printed (shown below). I remember my dad smiling at me from behind the camera when I did this silly pose.

Image 3 (above): Young me striking a silly pose at Killbear Provincial Park Visitor center. One of my earliest and fondest memories!

I remember my dad taking my younger brother and I camping while my mom was writing her master’s thesis. I was probably 12 or so years old, so my brother was around 10 at the time. On the truck ride up to MacGregor Provincial Park, my dad let my brother and I split a Red Bull energy drink! We were bouncing off the walls by the time we arrived at the campsite. We set up our tent and everything, then to let off some steam, we went for a long bike ride. I remember being the first of the three of us to arrive back to the campsite, and that’s when I saw a massive raccoon on our picnic table, trying to open our bag of marshmallows we’d accidentally left on the table with his little paws. I just stared in awe for a few moments before realizing that was our only bag of marshmallows, so I screamed! The raccoon was startled and scurried up the tallest tree on our campsite, with our marshmallows! By this time my brother and dad had arrived back, finding me distraught and marshmallow-less. We started brainstorming ideas of how to get the bag back and being that we were still hyped up on Red Bull, my brother and I devised a plan: to throw sticks at the raccoon with the hopes he’d drop the bag. Now we tried several times on our own, never being able to launch the stick high enough until my dad took pity on us and threw a stick, aiming it perfectly so that it hit just the bag and not the animal. The bag of marshmallows plummeted to the ground where we retrieved it, with only a few casualties.

“Teaching children about the natural world should be seen as one of the most important events in their lives.” -Thomas Berry

I could tell you hundreds of camping and hiking stories that shaped my interest and love for the outdoors, but then this blog post would be far exceeding the 500-word guideline (as I’ve already done). The common thread through all these stories is my dad, facilitating my learning. And although he is a horticulturist, he led me the what Beck and Cable call “the threshold of my mind”, meaning that he lit the spark, but it was me who put the logs on the fire and made it my own.

This summer, I was living and working in France and had the opportunity to do some tourism in the area. Whenever I visited places surrounded by nature, I thought of my dad. For example, I visited Claude Monet’s Gardens, (which isn’t unedited nature, it is quite manicured, but in that region of France, I’d take what I could get) and all I could think of is how much dad would love this. My mind immediately associates nature with my dad, and that’s probably why I love it so much.

Image 4 (above): Photo of me exploring Claude Monet’s House and Gardens, Summer 2019, captured by my dear friend Louisa.

Today, I don’t camp as much as I’d like. I miss sleeping in a tent and watching the long-legged spiders crawl between the main part of the tent and the fly in the morning. My relationship with nature has become like rekindling a spark with an old friend. I missed learning about nature and spending time outside in my first 2 years of my degree because I was in more general courses like physics and chemistry. My relationship is more of an academic one, being that I study Wildlife Biology. But what remains the same is my curiosity. I know I am interested in nature and wildlife, so learning about it in university is what keeps me going, even in seasons of assignments and midterms. I love to go on hikes and nature walks in South-Western Ontario (my favourite is Mount Nemo), and being outdoors bring the same calm and serenity as it did when I was young, and I look forward to diving into my love for nature for the rest of my life.

Bibliography:

“The Gifts of Interpretation” by Larry Beck and Ted T. Cable. 3rd Edition, Copyright 2011.

[testcsterone1x1]

Naked Survival: All-Stars

@douchebagsfortestosterone

Interviewer: “You’ve heard it right, folks. All that buzz wasn’t just lip service. Naked Survival: All-Stars is coming soon! And the teams that are participating are top-notch. We’ve picked the best players from our various favorite seasons and placed them together to compete. The only exception being the Harding Brothers since we couldn’t bear to break them apart. Because of this, they seem to be the team with a target on their backs. Don’t worry though, their victory isn’t assured. One team to watch out for is sitting here with me today, naked of course. We have Soren, Creed, and Jayne, a team of winners fans are already starting to believe can take the super hot Harding bros down. How are you doing today gentlemen?”

Soren and Jayne puff up their bare chests and flex, the former looking somber while the latter beams uncontrollably. Creed sits between them with his arms folded.

Jayne: Never better! Who knew I’d ever be back?”

I: “I knew, you cutie. I couldn’t imagine never seeing you again. Have you been working out? You look bigger. And hairier.”

J: “You bet! I know I was just a kid back in my season, Juniors, but I’m all man now. Plus, I got two great guys competing with me! All-Stars is gonna rock!”

I: “I’m pumped to see all the angles the camera catches you in. You’re as much of a spitfire as ever. Some would say a poor match for your more serious teammates...?”

Creed: “Why are you looking at me?”

I: “Well, you’re not giving me much except your body today. What’s the matter? Not happy with your team?”

C: “They’re fine. I’ve just got my eyes on the prize. If you want the truth though, I’m kinda insulted we’re even here. You’re making us out to be some kind of anti-Harding squad. Those bitches aren’t even a threat.”

I: “Ooooh that’s our Around The World champion for you! So cold yet so hot I swear I’m falling in love!”

C: “Why don’t you quit fagging out and get on with the questions? We should be training right now---

Soren: “I think what my friend here is trying to say is that while we’re flattered to be made out as front runners, comparing us to the Hardings is pointless. They’re just more competitors to us. All hype really. We’ll beat their asses just like everyone else’s.”

I: “I wouldn’t expect anything else from the Commander. Soren was my favorite from Active Duty and I was so happy to watch him lead his team of fellow soldiers to victory. I assume you’ll be team leader again. Do you have a plan to carry these boys with you across the finish line?

S: “I wouldn’t reveal that now, but I’ll tell you that my men and I are going to take the gold. The Hardings are pretty, so of course they’re fan favorites, but we’re the real ones to watch.

J: “And I told you, I’m not a boy anymore!”

I: “I was only teasing! I can see that in addition to hitting the gym, you’ve all---like Jayne---let your hair grow. Now, the audience can’t see what’s between your legs but I’ve got an awesome view and let me just say that you all rock the natural look.”

C: “And I’ll just say that for the record, I’d beat any of the Harding bitchbois in a measuring contest.”

I: “Creed you naughty thing! We all were dumbfounded by your hung appendage looking sexy in all the world’s roughest terrains, but I don’t remember ever thinking you were in their league.”

C: “Take a look right now. You can’t deny it’s fucking huge.”

I: “I’ll admit, you might give Ryder and Caleb a run for their money...”

C: “That’s enough, cunt.”

I: “Oops! I swear, I just can’t help myself around you Creed...”

J: “You don’t think he’s bigger than Hunter too? Creed is freakin’ huge!”

I: “Hunter is in a class on his own. Soren might be able to outmuscle him, but I don’t even think any of you can match Hunter in the size department. Hate to be biased, but that stud has a special place in my heart. And guts.”

S: “Feel how you must, but we’ll be taking them all down in the end. My training, Jayne’s energy, and Creed’s resilience make for a great combo. I’m calling it now, we’re the winning team.”

I: “Well, these men sure do look determined. But they’re not the only champions competing this season. Every team in All-Stars is filled with winners, so no matter who takes the gold it’s gonna be interesting! The Harding brothers are still the fan favorites to win, but I wouldn’t be surprised if this interview changed a few minds. Honestly, I think Soren, Creed, and Jayne may come out on top and become the new subjects of my wet dreams. The survival game starts in a week so tune in to see all of our contestants putting their asses on the line! Until then, check out our website for some awesome stills of our nude competitors for your spank bank. See ya!”

As the cameras pan and fade, all three flex and show off, openly displaying that their bodies are just as primed as the Hardings and ready to take them on.

[dont-doubt-dopple]

Not a Couple, I swear

V-Day Fic for @blasteroftheass featuring cute fluffy H2OMoo. And no, I haven’t read Darius’s Fic but I’m 90% sure I’m going to get my heart broken because he’s really good at that and it scares me sometimes. Tissue Box is on standby. But enjoy!

——————

Word Count: 1645

Prompt: You’re my best friend, and we’re both single for Valentine’s day. Let’s go on a platonic date. What’s the worst that could happen? (Also said by Del pretty early on.)

—————————

Delirious: What are your plans for Valentine’s Day?

Moo: Nothing exciting. I’ve got all the stations playing the Olympics queued up and ready.

Also a lot of Ice Cream for When figure skating comes on

Delirious: Boring!! We should do somethign

Moo: What and why?

Delirious: You’re my best friend, and we’re both single for Valentine’s day. Let’s go on a platonic date. What’s the worst that could happen?

Moo: You “accidentally” set something on fire

Delirious: that was one time

Moo: is there a way I can glare at you through the screen

there have been several intances of that

Delirious: look I admit I’m not perfect

Moo: From any stretch of the imagination

Delirious: but I have a plan

HEY

Moo: 🙂

God I have to turn that setting off

Delirious: okay

so plan

two of us go see Black Panther movie everyone including me is so hyped about

then we kid out with the carnival in town

Moo: Black panther comes out after vday

I know

me and ev have plans to see it opening night

Delirious: fuck!

okay, what movies are out?

15:17 to Paris

The Tom Hanks Meryl Streep one

 the new Liam Neeson movie on a train

Proud Mary

Peter Rabbit

Fifty shades freed

Delirious: the last one plz

Moo: but Proud Mary looks soooooo good

plus Marcel would kill me if I didn’t see it

Delirious: it’s Valentine’s Day. We’re going as cheesy as possible

we’re watching the rom com

Moo: Del, no

——————————

Brock wished there was something he had to cover his face. The blush was very apparent in his cheeks as Jonathan talked to the older woman at the ticket counter. A platonic date, he was assured. As the two friends went to see the most romantic movie of the season and Jon was not. Holding back. At all.

He had shown up at the door in a dress shirt and clip on tie (“little dressed for casual, isn’t it?”) with a heart shaped box of chocolates under his arm (“Thanks. But you know this isn’t a romantic date, right?”). Jon had even tried to get Brock to hold hands as they came into the theater (“Platonic, Jon. Are you sure you know what that means?”). It was a little over the top, considering they were two friends going out because they had nothing else to do today.

“Two tickets to Fifty Shades Freed.” The woman said, handing the tickets to Brock. “Theater 5 on your left. Just remember, be mindful of other patrons if you do decide to become … intimate during the film.”

“Oh, we’re not …” Brock began to say, trying to gesture to himself and Jon. But the other man had already run off to get onto the concessions line, determined to get as many sugary snacks before Brock could get there. “We’re just friends.”

“Standard procedure, sir. We have to do this for every romantic movie.” She smiled, but Brock didn’t have to worry if she truly meant it. Jon was already coming toward him, candy snacks piled in his arms.

“I got you your favorite.” He said guiltily, passing over a package of M&Ms Brock’s way. Brock didn’t budge, the disapproving motherly look still on his face.

“I told you before, only one sugary snack, popcorn and maybe a soda.”

“Well, you left me unsupervised. And that’s kinda your fault.”

“You’re an adult, Jonathan. You should not need my supervision.”

“We both know that I fail at adulting.” Jonathan refuted. Brock sighed. If there was one thing he had learned from their friendship, it was that Jonathan could not be argued out of something he believed in. Arguably very frustration at times for the Mom friend, especially when he knew he was right.

“Fine. But don’t blame me if you end up throwing up at the carnival.” Jonathan nods furiously, before Brock grabs his wrist and drags him toward the ticket guy. It’s an older gentleman again, and Brock tries to hold back his eye roll.

“Tickets please?” Brock hands the guy the two tickets, and he hands the stubs back equally as fast. “Enjoy the show.” The man’s voice is flat, clearly eyeing the two with contempt.

“We’re not boyfriends, just guy friends.” Brock assures him, before Jonathan jumps in.

“Brosexual, if you will.”

“Not helping.”

—————————

“I told you. You wouldn’t believe me, but I told you.”

“Shuch up!!” Jonathan yells in response, before beginning to feeling queasy again. He leaned once more over the bucket they had found, letting the contents of his stomach go once more. Brock patted him on the back, making sure none of the vomit got on him. The smell of food around him didn’t help, buttered popcorn and funnel cakes drifting toward their noses.

“Is … he okay?” Brock turned to face the girl who asked him. The teen is extremely pale, like she went on too many rides as well. Her auburn hair was messily tied back, and black glasses still lay loosely in her sweatshirt pocket.

“He just went on too many rides, that’s all.”

“Ditto.”

“I blame you.” Jon stated, using a nearby napkin to wipe excess vomit. “You made me go on all those rides after eating that pretzel.”

“No. After the pretzel I specifically said, ‘Jon, we should take a break. You’re going to throw up if you keep going on all the spinny rides.’ To which you responded, ‘You can’t tell me what to do.’, before going on all the rides.”

“You should have been taking better care of me then.”

“I am not your mom!”

“You are the mom friend. Does that count?” Brock hears the girl besides them giggle at their bickering.

“You guys are honestly couple goals.”

“Platonic!” Brock refutes, clearly getting flustered at the topic again. “Look .. look it up. In the dictionary.”

“Sorry. Geez, didn’t mean to hit a sore spot.”

“KATIE!!”

“Coming Mom!” The girl shouted, slipping on her glasses before walking toward the rest of her family. Brock sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose and shaking his head. Why did people assume he and Jon were on a date?

“Can I have a teddy bear?” Jon blurted out, “Not like one of the tiny ones, but the big ones that you win at the games. Can you win me one?”

“Jon, you know I don’t have an athletic bone in my body and my luck is even worse.”

“But I want a TEDDY BEAR!!”

“How about this.” Brock proposed. “I run out to the Walmart shopping center and see if I can find one. While I do that, you can wait in line for the Ferris Wheel. Okay? Can you do that for me?”

“Yeah!” He cheers excitedly. God, he really is an overexcited child.

—————————

“This is was a good day. Did you enjoy it? I enjoyed it.” Jonathan squealed, clutching even harder to the giant bear Brock had gotten him from Babies R’ Us (but don’t tell him that). It took up about a third of the seat, but Jonathan never care. And neither did Brock right now. He was just glad that one of his best friends had managed to drag him out of the house and just enjoy the 14th of February. The smile on his face was genuine as the car they were in stopped right at the top. The view of the lights of the city was breaktaking, even if they weren’t that high up.

“Wow.” Brock breathed, the car swaying back and forth.

“Yeah, It’s pretty, isn’t it?”

“Beautiful.”

“I just wish I could see the stars.” Jonathan reminisced. “I remember Luke and I would just drive for hours to find this nice quiet place away from the lights and noise of the city. We’d take turns driving while the other goofed around in the back, singing to the radio at the top of out lungs off key. We’d leave at the beginning of the day and just get to the spot around midnight. Both of us would be tired but we’d pull an all nighter just to watch the stars disappear and the sun rise. I miss that. The two of us for three days.” Brock didn’t say anything, just tried to formulate words as the wheel started up again, pulling the view away from them.

“Why didn’t you guys do that this year?” He finally asked.

“He met Genay. And while I love her, I really do, it’s just don’t have that much time to hang out with him anymore. I just … I needed to get out of the house and do something. Sorry, if this is making you think I think you any less or you were just my second choice. You’re one of my best friends, if not the best. Just .. yeah.”

The two sat in silence the rest of the ride, which wasn’t long. Brock kept replaying Del’s confession in his head, trying to remedy what his friend had told him. And when the two had gotten off the wheel, Delirious was clinging to his teddy even tighter than before.

“Hey, Jonathan?” Moo spoke finally as the two headed toward the exit, the night getting late and Jon’s eyes struggling to stay open. “How about next Valentine’s Day, if the two of us are still single, we take a road trip?”

“Where to?”

“Oh, I was thinking maybe the middle of nowhere.” Jonathan’s eyes widened, and before Brock knew it he was being lifted into the air via Delirious’ hug.

“OMG YES!!! BEST VALENTINE’S DAY OF MY LIFE!!!”

“Best Valentine’s Day of your life so far.” Both men smiled, having a feeling the comedic remark was going to hold true. That next year was going to be even better.

[haleyfury]

As I was preparing my traditional What I Read post for February, I realized that I did a few more bookish, fandom, and bloggish things that I want to talk about! Because I don’t just want to discuss books today, I’m going to be guiding you through what I wrote and watched this month, as well as some fun, in-real-life happenings.

February was a weird reading month because I feel like I didn’t read a lot, between school life and being busy on the weekends, but I managed to read X books! I tend to read less during the school year because I like not having to concentrate too much when I get to relax (hence a lot of Youtube and TV watching). I spent a lot of time reading for my English classes this month (2 books from my contemporary American lit class are included down below), and while I’m not including them on my list, I read Logicomix and Berlin: City of Stones Vol.1 for my graphic novels course.

If I don’t talk about the books below right now, it’s because you’ll find reviews for them in the next section.

The Bear and the Nightingale by Katherine Arden | 4.5/5 Stars

This Is What Happy Looks Like by Jennifer E. Smith | 4/5 Stars

The Cruel Prince by Holly Black | 4/5 Stars

Her Body and Other Parties by Carmen Maria Machado | 4/5 Stars

Her Body and Other Parties is the second book I’ve read for my contemporary American lit class, and it was a book that was on my TBR radar before I found out it was on the syllabus!?! I’m still slightly in shock that I’m reading books published within the past year in SCHOOL (not-so-patiently waiting for my school to add a YA lit class). Anyways, I really enjoyed Her Body and Other Parties for its genre-bending short stories and focus on women. My favorites include “Inventory”, “Eight Bites”, and “The Resident” (all of which you can find online!).

Thunderhead by Neal Shusterman | 5/5 Stars

After the Quake by Haruki Murakami | 4/5 Stars

My contemporary American literature class is focused on the short story cycle, and it’s been really interesting to read so many short stories. I’ve heard good things about Haruki Murakami’s 1Q84, so I was excited to pick up this short story collection centering around the Kobe earthquake. When I’m reading for school, I often take the time to take notes as  I read, but I was so immersed in Murakami’s writing that I forgot to until I finished! My favorite stories were “ufo in kushiro” and “thailand”.

Heir of Fire by Sarah J. Maas | 5/5 Stars

My reread review of HoF will be coming next week, just know for now that I was very happy to be reunited with Manon & Abraxos.

Like my reading, I feel like I didn’t post as much as I have in the past six months, but I only had two weeks where I went back to my original schedule of only 3 posts a week. I’m really happy with February’s content.

Reviews

The HYPE IS REAL: Scythe by Neal Shusterman

The Review That Time Forgot… Okay, It Was Me: I Am Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter by Erika L. Sánchez

Before the Fae: Throne of Glass and Crown of Midnight Reread Discussion

The Upside of Unrequited by Becky Albertalli

Keeping Up With Fantasy: The Bear and the Nightingale & The Cruel Prince

I READ A SUMMER CONTEMPORARY IN FEBRUARY??? | This Is What Happy Looks Like by Jennifer E. Smith

CAN THE THUNDERHEAD GIVE ME THE 3RD BOOK? | Thunderhead by Neal Shusterman

Book-Related

I’M CRAVING FANTASY & 100 BOOKS: What I Read in January 2018

Top Five Wednesday: Favorite YA Romance Novels

Fandom

My Experience Seeing Dear Evan Hansen ft. the Amazon Bookstore

TBB Asks: All About Love & Fangirl Things Q&A

My Funko Pop Collection-February 2018

Tags

Reputation Book Tag

I LIKE BOOK TAGS THAT AREN’T BOOK TAGS | Book Blogger Test

  The Greatest Showman– I’m about two months late to the party, but during the first weekend in February, my sister and I finally saw The Greatest Showman. In January, I saw so many people online completely raving about this musical-film inspired by P.T. Barnum (a sentence I thought I’d never write), and it was Zoë Sugg of Zoella and her vlogs that made me want to see the film. It’s safe to say that I absolutely loved The Greatest Showman, and I have been completely obsessed with the soundtrack. I run to “A Million Dreams” and “The Other Side” , guys. Besides the two songs that I just mentioned, I love “Never Enough”, “Rewrite the Stars”, “From Now On”, and “Tightrope”.

The Good Place – Almost every book blogger I follow on Twitter have raved about The Good Place. What really sold was me were all the mentions of PARKS & REC EASTER EGGS!

It was so much fun to be back in a Michael Schur show— HE CREATED Parks & Rec- and I just love how complex the storyline has become, not to mention the hilarious characters. As I’m writing this post, I’ve just started watching Ghosted again because you know, Adam Scott (Ben Wyatt is forever my fictional bf), WHO IS ACTUALLY IN SEASON ONE OF THE GOOD PLACE. I cannot wait for the third season to come out, and until then, I might need to watch another Michael Schur show (I’m thinking Brooklyn-Nine-Nine) or it’” be time for another Parks and Rec rewatch.

  The Belles Book Signing- During the second weekend in February, I went into New York City to spend the day with one of my best friends. We spent most of the day catching up and working on a film project of his-while writing will always be #1, my love for video has expanded this year with my film classes—and around 3:30, we decided to do something bookish and head to Books of Wonder for Dhonielle Clayton and Adam Silvera’s event for The Belles. Our first mistake was leaving about twenty minutes before the event, as the signing turned out to be the most crowded event I’ve been to. Our second “mistake” was continuing to take our time and then end up at the downtown Books of Wonder.The event was of course held at the uptown Books of Wonder location, so a few subway stops later we made it there. Luckily, we made it in time to hear Dhonielle and Adam answer questions from the audience and treat ourselves to some macaroons. I also convinced my friend to buy History Is All You Left Me, which is my favorite book of Adam’s, but unfortunately we didn’t say for the signing because there were about 70 people in front of us and I had a train to catch. However, I still had a great day in the city with my best friend and those macaroons were the perfect snack for the train ride home.

Being featured on Jacquelyn Middleton’s blog

Jacquelyn Middleton is the author of London Belongs to Me, one of my favorite NA reads, and London, Can You Meet. On her blog, Jacquelyn has been sharing so many bookstagram photos of her books and mine was featured in her post, “London Belongs… To You: Part Twelve“! I consider myself to be a VERY amateur bookstagrammer, so it was amazing to be featured along such amazing bookstagram accounts– I think one of my summer projects is going to be upping my Instagram game.

fangirlfury.com

I mentioned this in my Funko Pop Collection post, but on Valentine’s Day, I bought my blog domain! While I didn’t post until March, I created Fangirl Fury in February of 2017, and I feel so excited to own my domain a year later. You can now officially find me at fangirlfury.com. Whether this is your 1st or 150th time reading a Fangirl Fury post, I want to thank you for supporting my spot on the Internet. Here’s to another exciting year of blogging, reading, and fangirling!

I really liked writing a true monthly wrap-up, and I can see myself expanding my “What I Read” posts to this format. Do you like monthly wrap-ups? What did you read or watch in February? Share in the comments!

BOOKS, WRITING, AND LIFE HAPPENINGS: February Wrap-Up As I was preparing my traditional What I Read post for February, I realized that I did a few more bookish, fandom, and bloggish things that I want to talk about!

[junker-town]

NFL Dad, Week 11: At least you didn’t start Nathan Peterman

One dad, two young kids, and six-plus hours of RedZone Channel. How much football can he actually watch?

What’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever done? I genuinely want to know.

For me, it was probably my wife and I deciding to have a second kid without so much as a glance at our budget (“budget,” he said, like an adult who had such a thing at the time). We wanted two kids, and we knew we’d make it work, gosh darn it. Because of that, our bank account is held together with duct tape and wishes, we’ll never own a home, and the looming specter of college tuition is the only thing that makes me look forward to the collapse of society.

On the other hand, that decision gave us a very sweet son who plays well with his big sister. We made a poor financial decision that led to fuller, more joyous lives. It wasn’t national news. It didn’t affect any outcomes for a billion-dollar franchise that employs hundreds of people. It wasn’t televised for everyone to mock.

What I’m saying is, at least I didn’t bench Tyrod Taylor to start Nathan Peterman, like some kind of ignorant asshole. And neither did you! So chin up, things could be a lot worse.

EARLY GAMES, FIRST HALF

— After helping get the kids ready for their naps, I turn on the TV around 1:15. The first meaningful play is Jay Cutler throwing an interception in the end zone. Hell yes, today is gonna be awesome.

— DeShone Kizer’s early line: 0-1, 1 INT. It looks MISERABLE in Cleveland: Windy, wet, and the Browns are playing.

A few minutes later, the Jaguars score a TD on play-action that fools the camera operator. Blake Bortles wasn’t even on the screen until just before he tossed the ball to Marcedes Lewis.

— Eli Manning completes five passes in a row to start the game. Naturally, once the Giants reach the red zone, it’s time for someone else to throw a pass! How does it go for Shane Vereen?

The Giants attempt a little trickery... But the @chiefs have other plans. PICKED. #KCvsNYG http://pic.twitter.com/0imA0M3DJ9

— NFL (@NFL) November 19, 2017

SUBOPTIMAL. Also, this is the first time this column has begun with three consecutive bullets about interceptions.

— My daughter goes down for her nap. Whenever we put her to bed, she does a singsong cadence of the names in her life (NOT like Arya Stark, I swear). She says, “Mommy, Daddy,” then rattles off her own name twice, her brother, the dog, her nanny (twice), and then back through the list again, but randomized.

I cannot do it justice in words because it is woven into the landscape of my day, a charming and inexplicable habit from the spongy mind of a child. Eventually, I know, she will stop doing it, and I’m already sad about the day I walk out of her darkened room without hearing the rhythmic, lyrical recitation of the names of people I love.

— The Jags run a surprise onside kick, and it works! Josh Lambo recovers!

That was cool, but ... C’mon guys, it’s the Browns. Y’all don’t need to do that. Let them die with dignity.

— We ran out of coffee in my house this weekend. I used the last of our grounds on Saturday morning, but thought we had another bag — not realizing that the bag was decaf. (Charlton Heston voice) DECAAAAAAAAAFFFF!!!

So we made do with decaf when we woke up, then I had a latte when we took the kids to the playground in the morning. I drank it like a desperate man. It helped, but by noon I was stressed and irritable, so I heated up water to make tea.

I try to be the kind of person who respects everyone’s tastes, but apparently that’s only possible when I have enough caffeine in my system. Tea is bullshit.

— Alex Smith throws an interception on a shovel pass. Not easy to do!

AN INT ON A SHOVEL PASS MAKES A TASTY SNACK FOR DAMON HARRISON #Giants #Chiefs http://pic.twitter.com/0RZs3zcyxt

— Clay Wendler (@ClayWendler) November 19, 2017

— Facing 4th and six in the vicinity of the Saints’ 40, Kirk Cousins makes an awesome throw downfield to convert, leading to a short rushing touchdown that gives Washington a 17-10 lead.

After Rams-Vikings, Washington versus New Orleans seems to be the game to watch in this early slate. Cousins & Co. are playing for their season, and the Saints offense seems a little rattled by the pressure that Ryan Kerrigan and his friends are bringing.

— I just deleted a bullet point about Jay Cutler throwing his second interception, because he has now thrown THREE. I swear the only RedZone highlights from this Bucs-Dolphins game are Cutler picks, which is all I really want anyway.

— The Packers have turned the ball over three times and the Ravens only lead 3-0. Brett Hundley has no business facing this Ravens defense, but it’s Baltimore that infuriates me. That offense is polio. Joe Flacco is the debtor’s prison’s Alex Smith.

Also, the Packers are wearing their crappy throwbacks. If I’d known they’d spend today drawing inspiration from the 1930s, I wouldn’t have picked them to cover.

— Rams-Vikings is living up to the hype of a battle between two division leaders in the superior conference. It’s tied at 7-7, and though there hasn’t been much fodder for this column, every set of downs is a chess match between quality teams with smart plans that make the most of their players.

As soon as I write that, Cooper Kupp caps a Rams drive by fumbling on the 1-yard line.

Cooper Kupp loses the on the 1-yard line... And the @Vikings recover! Going the other way! #SKOL http://pic.twitter.com/3glfdkGBOn

— NFL (@NFL) November 19, 2017

Even this — a red zone turnover — is more indicative of a relentless, well-coached defense than it is of Kupp’s carelessness. And now that’s I’ve had two instances of Kupp alliteration, I must see the headline through to completion:

Cooper Kupp’s carelessness crushes quality campaign; Case Keenum & company control close contest!

I would have been an incredible newsman in the 1920s.

— The Lions, who stumbled out of the gate against the Bears, take a 21-17 lead on a short pass to Ameer Abdullah with 20 seconds left in the half. John Fox has that, “Aw, hell” look on his face. It’s the sort of look that Bears fans must HATE, because it gives the impression that Fox is in over his head.

Another thing that gives the impression that Fox is in over his head? His coaching! ZING! Take that, old man who never did anything to me!

EARLY GAMES, SECOND HALF

— Joe Flacco throws to a blanketed Mike Wallace, who makes an incredible catch to give the Ravens the first touchdown of the game. They lead 13-0.

The announcers rave about Wallace’s catch — justifiably — but let’s talk about Flacco’s reasoning. It’s not like Wallace is the kind of receiver you should expect to make catches while covered, like Julio Jones or DeAndre Hopkins. He’s Mike Wallace! A deep threat on an offense that doesn’t throw deep! And the Ravens can’t even realistically cut Flacco until after 2018! We have SO MUCH more Flacco to watch. GUH. Dump this team into the Chesapeake.

— My son wakes up from his nap early. He points to his mouth and says, “Ow. Ow.” His mouth hurts because he fell off his sister’s bed earlier, hitting his chin on the bottom rail and biting his tongue. Poor kid. He sits next to me on the couch and sucks his thumb while resting his head against my shoulder.

— “Alex Smith is hot dog shit today.” That was originally going to be my entire bullet, but that metaphor isn’t very clear. What I mean is that Smith is fresh dog shit on scorching pavement on hottest day of the summer. But the phrase could also read as shit from a dog that’s hot, or possibly the filling of a hot dog from a questionable manufacturer. None of these are particularly good, but I wanted to make it clear what kind of hot dog shit Alex Smith is today.

— Matt Moore has replaced Jay Cutler -- not for cause, though. Cutler, who had put together some 11 or 12 minutes without an interception, left the game with a concussion. Moore immediately hits Jarvis Landry for a long gain.

— My wife leaves with my son to walk our dog just as my daughter wakes up from her nap. The Vikings are putting together an intriguing drive, but I go into her room and help her use the potty. When we come back out to the TV room, the Vikings are celebrating a touchdown.

We sit on the couch and I read a Dr. Seuss book to her. Are you ready for a children’s book hot take? I hope so, because Seuss is WILDLY overrated. He’s kind of like Joe Namath: A champion and Hall of Famer, sure, but also revered beyond his talent.

The strength of Seuss books is their musical language, and I fully welcome the way they can give children a sense of poetic rhythm and rhyme. They’re also EXCRUCIATINGLY long; I could read a chapter of Moby-Dick in the time it takes to read Oh, The Places You’ll Go. The rhymes are also repetitive enough to feel rote, but differentiated enough that you can’t zone out and perform on autopilot; it’s the children’s book version of assembling IKEA furniture. Finally, though I can’t deny Seuss’ unique artistic style, I loathe it with all my heart. Is that a dog or a cat? A cat or a person? A person or some made-up bullshit so he can make a rhyme? I’m over it, man.

— After the book, my daughter takes my wrist in her hand and puts my arm around her. We watch Adam Thielen break a long TD to give the Vikings a two-score lead, and that’s probably curtains for the Rams.

All this man does is make PLAYS. 65-yard @athielen19 TOUCHDOWN! #SKOL http://pic.twitter.com/cQyfvs5sR5

— NFL (@NFL) November 19, 2017

— Another Alex Smith interception leads to a Giants field goal; the underdogs lead 9-6 with 1:39 left. This reminds me: I missed it while parenting, but Travis Kelce ALSO threw an interception today.

In just this one NFL game, interceptions have been thrown by a quarterback, a running back, and a tight end. If you had bet me before the game that THREE players would throw interceptions and NONE of them would be Eli Manning, you would own every penny to my name.

— Alex Smith TRIES to throw another pick, but there’s a penalty on the defense. Soon after, he finds Travis Kelce wide open down the seam. The Chiefs get into the red zone but can only get a field goal. These assholes are going to overtime.

— A Lions 52-yard field goal gives them 27-24 lead, but John Fox has three timeouts, one minute remaining, and a rookie quarterback. LET’S GO!

Mitchell Trubisky puts together a competent hurry-up drill, but Connor Barth misses WAY wide right on a 46-yarder. The Bears lose, 27-24. It’s the third straight game (and fifth overall) that they’ve lost by one score. Meanwhile, two of their three wins have come in overtime. This must be an AGONIZING season for Bears fans.

— My wife gives our daughter a Moana coloring book that comes with a paintbrush and watercolors. The first picture inside features Moana standing proudly with her fists on her hips. Later in the evening, my daughter will swagger up and down the hallway with her fists on her hips, saying, “I’m walking like Moana!”

THIS is why I love Moana but have beef with the traditional Disney princesses. My daughter is three years old and has still never seen Moana (or any movie), but frequent exposure to the soundtrack and a couple of plot points — “Moana has to save her people” — gives my daughter enough information to guide her body language, and we can see it in the way she play-acts.

When she’s Cinderella, I have to pretend to put a gown on her, and we dance together at the ball. When she’s Rapunzel, she flips her hair around; Ariel, and she holds up a scarf as a bikini. But when she’s Moana, she throws her shoulders back, struts with purpose, and thrusts her fist into the air — something she’d only previously done when saying, “I’m Batman!”

Long story short, her Cinderella doll has a date with the trash chute.

— The Saints, trailing by 15 as the game winds to a close, needed two touchdowns in three minutes. Drew Brees did it in two minutes, thanks to a three-and-out forced by the defense. 2-point conversion good.

WE. DID. THAT.@a_kamara6 with the touchdown and the two-point conversion to tie things up with 1:05 to play! #SaintsGameday | #WASvsNO http://pic.twitter.com/Dzae3lVa40

— New Orleans Saints (@Saints) November 19, 2017

This gives me flashbacks to Washington’s win in Seattle a few weeks back, when the Seahawks scored too quickly and gave the visitors enough time to retake the lead.

— With time starting to run low in overtime, the Giants go for it on 4th and six at the edge of field goal range, and Manning takes a shot deep. awesome deep pass. Great play. FG Giants, 12-9.

Wowwwwwwww. Roger Lewis makes the INCREDIBLE grab to setup the @giants WIN. #GiantsPride http://pic.twitter.com/YE9qsqlql5

— NFL (@NFL) November 19, 2017

It’s underthrown, but the cornerback drags Roger Lewis (a player I have DEFINITELY heard of, yessir) down, and that helps him make the spectacular catch. The Giants kick a chip shot to win the game.

The Chiefs’ performance today puts some serious stink on the “Andy Reid after a bye week” mystique. Woof. On the flip side, the Giants hurt their draft position and will keep Ben McAdoo as coach a little longer, so ... way to go, everybody. Bang-up job this week.

— Washington does nothing with its first OT possession, and the Saints waste no time: Mark Ingram breaks a long run to put them in field goal range. Wil Lutz kicks the 28-yarder, and this is the rare instance I approve of overtime: It (A) ended quickly and (B) completed the gut-wrenching collapse of a team I dislike.

LATE GAMES, FIRST HALF

— Nathan Peterman starts his NFL career off with a pick-6. Sure, it went off the receiver’s hands, but that’s inconvenient for my narrative. I picked up the Chargers defense for my fantasy team, and I’m counting on Joey Bosa and Melvin Ingram to ruin the debut of an unheralded rookie quarterback.

— The first RedZone action in Denver is the Broncos blocking a Bengals punt. It should be illegal to have this much orange on the field.

— My wife gives the kids apple slices with maple almond butter, which is one of very few ways to make almond butter palatable to kids raised on peanut butter. They sit at the table and eat silently. I mute the TV and just drink in the quiet. For entire seconds: no sirens or honking outside, no incessant questions or shouting or whining, no dog nails clacking on the wood floors, just silence. I store the moment away and save it for a moment when I need a warm feeling of calm.

— Brock Osweiler throws a pick in end zone that Dre Kirkpatrick ALMOST returns for six, but he inexplicably fumbles without being touched, recovering his mistake at the one-yard line. This might be my favorite play of the entire year:

PICK-6-OHHH NO! Dre Kirkpatrick nearly has a 101-yard PICK-6... But fumbles inside the 5. Wow. #CINvsDEN http://pic.twitter.com/zUyPI5Q0xZ

— NFL (@NFL) November 19, 2017

By the way, this is the exact sort of thing I’d do if I were an NFL player who had Joe Mixon on my fantasy team (I don’t, though, because I drafted with MORAL PRINCIPLES). It’s Tyler Kroft, however, who gets the touchdown.

— My daughter, still working with watercolors, absentmindedly takes a sip from the cup of water she was dipping her paint brush in. Bruce Arians approves!

My wife says, “How did that taste?” My daughter only frowns in response.

— Tom Brady opens the scoring in Mexico City with a TD to one of his running backs … Kevin Faulk? No, Dion Lewis. Hey, speaking of Mexico, the new Pixar joint looks amazing.

Oh yeah, that’s gonna give me a good cry.

— Nathan Peterman has now thrown his THIRD interception. It’s still the first quarter.

Tyrod Taylor has the lowest interception rate in NFL history (at least 1000 attempts).

— Mina Kimes (@minakimes) November 19, 2017

Tyrod Taylor in 2017: 254 passing attempts, 3 interceptions Nathan Peterman, today: 8 passing attempts, 3 interceptions

— Rodger Sherman (@rodger_sherman) November 19, 2017

— Keenan Allen is in for a TD, and it’s 17-7, Chargers. Allen doesn’t look quick, but he’s just so smooth. I can’t think of another receiver that big who moves with such grace and without any wasted movement. I hope he can avoid the injury problems that have followed him to this point.

— Peterman throws a FOURTH pick! This is amazing. I stop watching the games to follow Twitter, where the ‘Rod Squad is gleefully destroying Sean McDermott and the Bills management.

more like Tea-rod Taylor, right @minakimes? http://pic.twitter.com/zUbrqH6ziC

— Matt Ufford (@mattufford) November 19, 2017

You’ll notice in the above picture that Taylor has “Born to Lose” tattooed on his bicep; on his other one is “Built to Win.” When he leaves Buffalo — and he should, for an organization that actually welcomes him as a perfectly solid quarterback (‘sup Jacksonville?) — he should find some space for “Benched Too Soon.”

— A Peterman fumbled snap leads to 3rd and seven, and let me tell you: I have rarely been so tense as watching Nathan Peterman, sitting on four interceptions, wait to take a snap on a passing down. (He threw incomplete. It was not particularly close to being complete.)

— Did Nathan Michael Peterman throw a fifth interception? You are extremely goddamn right he did.

— As the games go into halftime, the Chargers lead the Bills 37-7, the Pats take a 17-0 lead on a 62-yarder from Stephen Gostkowski, and the Bengals lead in Denver, 13-7. The lone close game is the one I have no interest in watching. Orange teams are crap.

LATE GAMES, SECOND HALF

— My kids practice saying “Touchdown!” while throwing their arms up in the air. the 3-year-old has it down cold, but my son’s pronunciation isn’t quite there. It starts out as “DA-DA!” but he manages to get to “TOUSH-DAWN!” by the thirtieth or fortieth try. It definitely did not get old, I’ll tell you that much.

— Brandin Cooks ends any realistic hope for the Raiders with a 64-yard touchdown that is all speed and no safety help. I won’t even link to a highlight because it’s not even that interesting. Imagine a really fast guy running past a person, then catching a ball in stride and continuing to run. There you go.

— Tyrod Taylor is back! He converts a 3rd and 12 and leads the offense to a field goal. Whoa, CRAZY how the Bills’ offense works better when the more talented quarterback plays. Sean McDermott is either the stupidest asshole in the league, or he’s being told by management to back Peterman and too spineless to say no.

— I get my son out of the bath, put him in a diaper and pajamas, give him his milk, and somehow manage to cut his fingernails without turning our house into the Octagon. The kid can’t catch a ball, but brandish some nail clippers and he’s suddenly a black belt in Brazilian jiu-jitsu. Usually, if I want to keep him from scratching his face with his talons while he sleeps, I have to put him in an arm bar while he screams bloody murder.

But not this time! He just drinks his milk and doesn’t struggle. Now, if you don’t have kids, you probably never think about this kind of thing. But as a parent, please allow me to shout, THIS IS SUCH AN EASY THING THAT CHILDREN MAKE SO GODDAMN HARD ARRRRGGGHHH.

— Down 27-0, the Raiders go for it on 4th and one, and hand it off to ... a running back who is NOT Marshawn Lynch. He gets stuffed. JESUS. What black magic does Belichick have that makes opposing coaches ignore Lynch at crucial moments?

— The Raiders score a touchdown I don’t see because this is happening:

The great thing about writing is that you can easily work from home

I saved my daughter’s notes:

bv bvb vt /ER;/.SZrd6s4\-}){“:$D[‘c tgc raLKUoYPTOIUYTR’=\][

OK, so we’ve got some room to improve. She does better work with emojis.

— My son picks a book off the table, drops it on the floor, and bends down to pick it up, not accounting for the table that’s in his head’s path. BONK. He’s got a red welt on his forehead, and it’s at least the fourth time this afternoon he’s fallen or otherwise hurt himself (he also pulled open a tape measure, which retracted and whipped him in the face). He’s a disaster.

On the screen, the clock ticks down on the Chargers’ 54-24 blowout. Sean McDermott looks grim but steadfast. In the other room, my daughter channels The Rock’s voice to yell the final lines of his song in Moana: “AND THANK YOU!”

[footballleague0]

Ed Oliver Houston Cougars superstar representing city

Sep 13, 2017

Joel AndersonESPN

HOUSTON — Hurricane Harvey sent the University of Houston’s football team rushing off to Austin for sanctuary under the same roof as the coach who left the program just 10 months earlier.

It could have been — and maybe even should have been — an uncomfortable reunion with Tom Herman, the ex who spurned the Cougars for the state’s flagship program after two seasons, 22 wins and many promises he wouldn’t leave. That potential for discomfort wasn’t lost on those who coordinated their plans to seek shelter from the storm, choosing the University of Texas from among at least four other in-state options.

“That was a little bit in the back of my mind,” Houston athletic director Hunter Yurachek said. “There were some hurt feelings when Tom left. But I think everyone handled it very well.”

At least in their public comments, players and representatives of Houston have attempted to avoid lamenting the loss of Herman since his departure. But one of the few who went off-script was Ed Oliver, the homegrown star defensive tackle, who tweeted — and then immediately deleted — “Why you lie to us, coach?” shortly after word emerged that Herman had accepted the Longhorns job in December. He followed up with a less-than-subliminal shot in March, telling the Houston Chronicle that practices now had “a lot less yelling, and a lot more coaching.”

The University of Houston football team visited Austin, Texas, to pick up donations from volunteers around the Lone Star State to return home for victims of Hurricane Harvey.

Texas football put aside its rivalries as six programs from the Lone Star State loaned their equipment trucks to the Houston Cougars for a donation drive. We were there as the trucks rolled in and the Cougars’ players and staff unloaded the supplies.

1 Related

If Oliver took Herman’s absence more personally than most, it’s because he’ll be among those held most responsible for keeping Houston’s fans on the bandwagon. Only a 19-year-old sophomore, Oliver is already the anchor of a rebuilding program in a rebuilding city.

His family counts itself among the fortunate ones in the aftermath of Hurricane Harvey: Its only real challenge, his mother said, was when the power went out for a couple days, leaving her and their stepfather alone in the house with their 4-year-old son and 2-year-old daughter.

“But they kept checking on me,” Dana Baker said of her older sons, Ed and 21-year-old Marcus. “They were never too far from home.”

Only minutes away, dozens of residents had their homes and lives ruined by floodwater and wind damage, like tens of thousands of others across the Houston area. The difference between a blessing and bad luck was often only a few blocks.

“It was tough to see my city like that,” Oliver told reporters while unloading trucks as part of a collection drive in Houston a couple of weeks ago.

“But we respond. … I do it for Houston, and I’ve always done it for Houston.”

Houston was gradually springing to life again when Major Applewhite took his seat at a makeshift radio booth at the far end of the Ragin’ Cajun, one of the city’s most popular and enduring restaurants.

The murky floodwaters that turned the city into a fetid lake were all but gone, dump trucks were clearing away thousands of tons of debris per day and many businesses started welcoming back weary customers who needed everything from bread to beer to retail therapy. Like many businesses, the Ragin’ Cajun sought to broadcast its hope — and reopening — to the public: “#HoustonStrong” read its billboard for passing motorists.

The “Major Applewhite Radio Show” made its debut at 1 p.m. last Wednesday before about 30 fans. Behind Applewhite and his broadcasting partner was a large screen draped in a red cover bearing the words “H-Town Takeover,” the moniker Herman gave for his dramatic makeover of a program that trails far behind the monstrous fan bases of Texas and Texas A&M in its own city.

Drumming up interest in Houston football will be among Applewhite’s chief challenges in this, his first head-coaching job. That was something that came easily to Herman, who is as gifted at salesmanship as he is at playcalling. Applewhite will almost certainly never be the coach to don a diamond-studded grille gifted to him by local rappers, as Herman did.

Applewhite’s first question from the audience came from longtime superfan and UH alum John Lofaro, known locally as “Johnny Cougar.”

In Houston’s first game of 2017, Ed Oliver swallowed up Arizona to the tune of 11 tackles, a forced fumble and a blocked field goal. Casey Sapio/USA TODAY Sports

“I am here to assure you that, in the very few times, the rare occasions that we might lose a game,” he said, “I can assure you that we will not throw debris at you” — a reference to the reception Texas fans gave Herman following a season-opening loss to Maryland days earlier.

“Appreciate it,” Applewhite said, smothering the attempt at a joke.

Lofaro pressed on, following up with a question. “Can Ed Oliver get any better?”

“He can,” Applewhite said. “And he better.”

In the Cougars’ season-opening win at Arizona on Saturday, Oliver responded to Applewhite’s challenge with a performance — 11 tackles, a forced fumble and a blocked field goal — that left little room for criticism. Oliver’s improvement was evident, another confirmation of the hype that has long preceded him.

“That’s exactly what I envisioned,” Applewhite said of Oliver. “He doesn’t need to do anything different.”

At Houston, the 6-foot-3 (his listed height, which is probably an inch or two generous), 290-pound Oliver has been everything that he was projected to be — and then some — as a five-star recruit at local powerhouse Westfield High School. The only surprise to many is that Oliver is doing it in his hometown at all, given that he could’ve signed with virtually any major program in the nation. Put another way: Oliver’s improbable choice of Houston made him the first recruit of his caliber in the ESPN 300 era to sign with a school outside of a Power 5 conference.

It all makes more sense when you meet his family.

His mother, Dana, raised Ed and his older brother, Marcus, in an idyllic north Houston neighborhood, only blocks away from her mother, sister and aunt — “we like each other a little bit,” she cracked — and just a few minutes from her alma mater, Westfield High. In their neighborhood of two-story brick homes and soaring pine trees, little Ed was always hot on the heels of his older brother.

“Ed followed Marcus around like a little puppy,” Baker said.

“Basically I would feel everything out before he did it,” Marcus added

So when Marcus joined the local little league football team at the age of 7, Ed followed along and played on the sidelines and adjacent fields during his brother’s practices.

This happened almost every day until Ed was old enough to join the team two years later. And when Marcus aged out of the league, Ed gave up little league football two years early to spend more time with his brother and ride horses on the weekend with his father, Ed Oliver Sr.

“Horses were my first love,” Ed said. “I played football because Marcus played football. But as I kept playing, I found love for it.”

Once they were at Westfield, Marcus became one of the Houston area’s top offensive linemen and Ed’s rapid growth turned him into a burgeoning force. In fact, in the spring semester of his ninth-grade year, Westfield’s coaches came up with the Ed Oliver rule: Whatever drill they were doing, Ed could play at full speed for the first half and then the offense could run through its playbook with no resistance for the second half.

“I’ve never coached anyone that was as disruptive as him at that age,” said Corby Meekins, then Westfield’s head coach and now one of Herman’s assistants at Texas. “He was pretty much unblockable.”

A five-star recruit and high school All-American, Ed Oliver stunned the football world by picking hometown Houston over his pick of blue-chip programs. Miller Safrit/ESPN

Marcus left Westfield as an accomplished player in his own right, choosing Houston over Colorado and a handful of other FBS programs. There was never any doubt that he was staying close to home — he didn’t want to force his family to travel to see him play and he wanted to see Ed’s final two years of football at Westfield — even as friends and classmates wondered if he wasn’t making a mistake.

“They’d always go, ‘Why Houston?'” Marcus said. “I got tired of it. I told them, ‘I see something you don’t see.'”

And even with Marcus off at college, albeit only about 40 minutes away, he kept his brother close by inviting him over to his dorm room, giving him tickets to the games, and getting him familiar with his teammates and the program’s facilities.

“He’d be up there with me all the time,” Marcus said. He saw what the others didn’t see, indeed. “He grew a brotherhood with everyone else, too.”

One afternoon in May 2015, the brothers were helping themselves to the buffet at Cici’s Pizza near their north Houston home when Ed surprised Marcus by asking him to call their old high school coach Corby Meekins, who’d recently joined Herman’s then-new coaching staff at Houston.

With no hint or warning, Ed orally committed to Houston on his brother’s phone over plates of $5.99 buffet pizza.

“I was like, ‘Is this real?'” Marcus said. “I was shocked.”

He wasn’t the only one: When the brothers went home later that evening to watch an NBA playoff game, the news of Ed’s commitment kept scrolling across the bottom of the TV. “That’s when I realized he might be a big deal,” his mother said.

Over the years, Houston has enjoyed its most success by developing lightly regarded recruits (Andre Ware was recruited as a running quarterback and left in 1989 as a record-breaking passer and Heisman winner) and turning over its program to innovators ranging from Bill Yeoman to Art Briles. But over the past quarter century, that formula hasn’t meant sustained success: The Cougars have won nine or more games only five times during that stretch.

The arrival of Herman, who worked at five other programs in Texas, portended a new connection between Houston and a school once mockingly known as “Cougar High” for its commuter school reputation. Herman took his cues from the rise of the University of Miami as a national power in the 1980s, telling Sports Illustrated, “We said, ‘If they can do it at a private school in Miami, why can’t we do it in a football-rich city like Houston?'”

And Oliver gave Herman’s “H-Town Takeover” some credibility and more national attention. Oliver’s commitment “opened some doors that we may not have had opened,” Yurachek said. However, the notion that Oliver chose Houston solely because of Herman remains an obvious source of agitation for him and his family.

They point out that his brother was already there. So was Meekins, his old high school coach. Staying home meant he could continue riding his horses (Caledonia, Oreo, Coffee and Sugar) with his father. He could continue checking in on his mother at least once a week, which often turns into an impromptu nap in one of her guest bedrooms. “I think he likes to stay home for peace,” she said. Everything a homebody could ever want was already in place.

“They know if Marcus wasn’t here, I wouldn’t be here,” Ed said. “They know when they got him, they got his little brother, too.”

“Are people too damn stupid to understand why he stayed there to fight with his brother?” Ed Oliver Sr. asked. “I wasn’t going to let EJ separate that. I told him, ‘While your brother is at U of H, you’re gonna have your ass there.'”

Baker said, in slightly more gentle terms: “Why leave Mayberry? It just felt right. It felt like home to Ed.”

A week after Harvey, the former “Cougar High” was alive with activity befitting its status as the state’s third-largest university. The floodwaters had caused only negligible damage to its facilities. Professors and students had largely returned to class. Most of the chairs were filled at the campus student center.

Ed Oliver, a Houston native and one of the stars of the Cougars, passes cases of water to a teammate at St. Charles Borromeo Catholic Church. Michael Starghill, Jr. for ESPN

In her office suite atop the school’s art-deco-style headquarters, Houston president Renu Khator was balancing her relief at the school’s nearly painless recovery with her plans for dispatching students into affected neighborhoods near the school.

“If the city and community is to come back to normalcy,” Khator said, “we have to play our role.”

Khator, who doubles as the chancellor of the University of Houston system, has been waiting for the day the city embraces its asset in the university. She arrived in 2008 and immediately launched a plan to build a nationally competitive university out of an urban commuter school.

Those plans included a first-rate athletic program, which meant building the $128 million, 40,000-seat, on-campus TDECU Stadium, which opened in 2014. The school is also building a $20 million, 80,000-square-foot indoor practice facility adjacent to the stadium, an item that Herman added into his contract as a condition of his buyout.

Instead, Applewhite, who served as Herman’s offensive coordinator for two years, will inherit the indoor facility and Khator’s rising expectations.

In December, days after Applewhite was hired as Herman’s successor, Khator told faculty and staff at the annual holiday party at her home that “winning is defined at University of Houston as 10-2. We’ll fire coaches at 8-4.”

Months later, she hasn’t backed off that charge. “I like to have a winning team,” she said last week. “I expect the same thing all across the campus, from every department. Let’s push our talent.”

Applewhite demurred when asked about Khator’s comments. “I don’t pay much attention to things that are said,” he said.

Coming off an All-American debut as a freshman, Ed Oliver is the sort of game-changing player who could keep his new head coach in the good graces of the school president and a reeling fan base.

Oliver had seven tackles and two sacks in his swashbuckling college debut in 2016, an upset win over then-No. 3 Oklahoma. “There’s some guys that just stick out, like when we looked at Adrian Peterson,” said then-Oklahoma coach Bob Stoops. “It’s like, ‘Yeah. That’s what you need.'”

He finished the year with 23 tackles for loss, which ranked second nationally. And as an interior lineman, Oliver finished with impressive totals of 66 tackles and nine pass breakups — he was essentially just as good moving backward and laterally as he was forward.

“He’s a first-rounder,” Arizona coach Rich Rodriguez said of Oliver, before his team played against him Saturday.

Of course, that’s at least 18 months away. There’s more than enough time for Oliver to cement his status as one of the most important players in the history of the Houston program.

“He’s the best player we’ve ever had, and that includes Andre Ware,” said Lofaro aka “Johnny Cougar'” and season-ticket holder for 40 years.

And as he grows into his fame, Oliver seems well-positioned to replace Herman as the face of the program.

And, most important to a group of fans accustomed to being abandoned soon after good times, Oliver has assured them he’s not looking to go anywhere else. The #H-TownTakeover can endure for at least a little longer.

“I love Houston,” he said. “This is my hometown, this is my city.”

The post Ed Oliver Houston Cougars superstar representing city appeared first on Daily Star Sports.

from http://ift.tt/2jy2hFI from http://ift.tt/2h9cgR4

[giantsfootball0]

Ed Oliver Houston Cougars superstar representing city

Sep 13, 2017

Joel AndersonESPN

HOUSTON — Hurricane Harvey sent the University of Houston’s football team rushing off to Austin for sanctuary under the same roof as the coach who left the program just 10 months earlier.

It could have been — and maybe even should have been — an uncomfortable reunion with Tom Herman, the ex who spurned the Cougars for the state’s flagship program after two seasons, 22 wins and many promises he wouldn’t leave. That potential for discomfort wasn’t lost on those who coordinated their plans to seek shelter from the storm, choosing the University of Texas from among at least four other in-state options.

“That was a little bit in the back of my mind,” Houston athletic director Hunter Yurachek said. “There were some hurt feelings when Tom left. But I think everyone handled it very well.”

At least in their public comments, players and representatives of Houston have attempted to avoid lamenting the loss of Herman since his departure. But one of the few who went off-script was Ed Oliver, the homegrown star defensive tackle, who tweeted — and then immediately deleted — “Why you lie to us, coach?” shortly after word emerged that Herman had accepted the Longhorns job in December. He followed up with a less-than-subliminal shot in March, telling the Houston Chronicle that practices now had “a lot less yelling, and a lot more coaching.”

The University of Houston football team visited Austin, Texas, to pick up donations from volunteers around the Lone Star State to return home for victims of Hurricane Harvey.

Texas football put aside its rivalries as six programs from the Lone Star State loaned their equipment trucks to the Houston Cougars for a donation drive. We were there as the trucks rolled in and the Cougars’ players and staff unloaded the supplies.

1 Related

If Oliver took Herman’s absence more personally than most, it’s because he’ll be among those held most responsible for keeping Houston’s fans on the bandwagon. Only a 19-year-old sophomore, Oliver is already the anchor of a rebuilding program in a rebuilding city.

His family counts itself among the fortunate ones in the aftermath of Hurricane Harvey: Its only real challenge, his mother said, was when the power went out for a couple days, leaving her and their stepfather alone in the house with their 4-year-old son and 2-year-old daughter.

“But they kept checking on me,” Dana Baker said of her older sons, Ed and 21-year-old Marcus. “They were never too far from home.”

Only minutes away, dozens of residents had their homes and lives ruined by floodwater and wind damage, like tens of thousands of others across the Houston area. The difference between a blessing and bad luck was often only a few blocks.

“It was tough to see my city like that,” Oliver told reporters while unloading trucks as part of a collection drive in Houston a couple of weeks ago.

“But we respond. … I do it for Houston, and I’ve always done it for Houston.”

Houston was gradually springing to life again when Major Applewhite took his seat at a makeshift radio booth at the far end of the Ragin’ Cajun, one of the city’s most popular and enduring restaurants.

The murky floodwaters that turned the city into a fetid lake were all but gone, dump trucks were clearing away thousands of tons of debris per day and many businesses started welcoming back weary customers who needed everything from bread to beer to retail therapy. Like many businesses, the Ragin’ Cajun sought to broadcast its hope — and reopening — to the public: “#HoustonStrong” read its billboard for passing motorists.

The “Major Applewhite Radio Show” made its debut at 1 p.m. last Wednesday before about 30 fans. Behind Applewhite and his broadcasting partner was a large screen draped in a red cover bearing the words “H-Town Takeover,” the moniker Herman gave for his dramatic makeover of a program that trails far behind the monstrous fan bases of Texas and Texas A&M in its own city.

Drumming up interest in Houston football will be among Applewhite’s chief challenges in this, his first head-coaching job. That was something that came easily to Herman, who is as gifted at salesmanship as he is at playcalling. Applewhite will almost certainly never be the coach to don a diamond-studded grille gifted to him by local rappers, as Herman did.

Applewhite’s first question from the audience came from longtime superfan and UH alum John Lofaro, known locally as “Johnny Cougar.”

In Houston’s first game of 2017, Ed Oliver swallowed up Arizona to the tune of 11 tackles, a forced fumble and a blocked field goal. Casey Sapio/USA TODAY Sports

“I am here to assure you that, in the very few times, the rare occasions that we might lose a game,” he said, “I can assure you that we will not throw debris at you” — a reference to the reception Texas fans gave Herman following a season-opening loss to Maryland days earlier.

“Appreciate it,” Applewhite said, smothering the attempt at a joke.

Lofaro pressed on, following up with a question. “Can Ed Oliver get any better?”

“He can,” Applewhite said. “And he better.”

In the Cougars’ season-opening win at Arizona on Saturday, Oliver responded to Applewhite’s challenge with a performance — 11 tackles, a forced fumble and a blocked field goal — that left little room for criticism. Oliver’s improvement was evident, another confirmation of the hype that has long preceded him.

“That’s exactly what I envisioned,” Applewhite said of Oliver. “He doesn’t need to do anything different.”

At Houston, the 6-foot-3 (his listed height, which is probably an inch or two generous), 290-pound Oliver has been everything that he was projected to be — and then some — as a five-star recruit at local powerhouse Westfield High School. The only surprise to many is that Oliver is doing it in his hometown at all, given that he could’ve signed with virtually any major program in the nation. Put another way: Oliver’s improbable choice of Houston made him the first recruit of his caliber in the ESPN 300 era to sign with a school outside of a Power 5 conference.

It all makes more sense when you meet his family.

His mother, Dana, raised Ed and his older brother, Marcus, in an idyllic north Houston neighborhood, only blocks away from her mother, sister and aunt — “we like each other a little bit,” she cracked — and just a few minutes from her alma mater, Westfield High. In their neighborhood of two-story brick homes and soaring pine trees, little Ed was always hot on the heels of his older brother.

“Ed followed Marcus around like a little puppy,” Baker said.

“Basically I would feel everything out before he did it,” Marcus added

So when Marcus joined the local little league football team at the age of 7, Ed followed along and played on the sidelines and adjacent fields during his brother’s practices.

This happened almost every day until Ed was old enough to join the team two years later. And when Marcus aged out of the league, Ed gave up little league football two years early to spend more time with his brother and ride horses on the weekend with his father, Ed Oliver Sr.

“Horses were my first love,” Ed said. “I played football because Marcus played football. But as I kept playing, I found love for it.”

Once they were at Westfield, Marcus became one of the Houston area’s top offensive linemen and Ed’s rapid growth turned him into a burgeoning force. In fact, in the spring semester of his ninth-grade year, Westfield’s coaches came up with the Ed Oliver rule: Whatever drill they were doing, Ed could play at full speed for the first half and then the offense could run through its playbook with no resistance for the second half.

“I’ve never coached anyone that was as disruptive as him at that age,” said Corby Meekins, then Westfield’s head coach and now one of Herman’s assistants at Texas. “He was pretty much unblockable.”

A five-star recruit and high school All-American, Ed Oliver stunned the football world by picking hometown Houston over his pick of blue-chip programs. Miller Safrit/ESPN

Marcus left Westfield as an accomplished player in his own right, choosing Houston over Colorado and a handful of other FBS programs. There was never any doubt that he was staying close to home — he didn’t want to force his family to travel to see him play and he wanted to see Ed’s final two years of football at Westfield — even as friends and classmates wondered if he wasn’t making a mistake.

“They’d always go, ‘Why Houston?‘” Marcus said. “I got tired of it. I told them, ‘I see something you don’t see.'”

And even with Marcus off at college, albeit only about 40 minutes away, he kept his brother close by inviting him over to his dorm room, giving him tickets to the games, and getting him familiar with his teammates and the program’s facilities.

“He’d be up there with me all the time,” Marcus said. He saw what the others didn’t see, indeed. “He grew a brotherhood with everyone else, too.”

One afternoon in May 2015, the brothers were helping themselves to the buffet at Cici’s Pizza near their north Houston home when Ed surprised Marcus by asking him to call their old high school coach Corby Meekins, who’d recently joined Herman’s then-new coaching staff at Houston.

With no hint or warning, Ed orally committed to Houston on his brother’s phone over plates of $5.99 buffet pizza.

“I was like, ‘Is this real?'” Marcus said. “I was shocked.”

He wasn’t the only one: When the brothers went home later that evening to watch an NBA playoff game, the news of Ed’s commitment kept scrolling across the bottom of the TV. “That’s when I realized he might be a big deal,” his mother said.

Over the years, Houston has enjoyed its most success by developing lightly regarded recruits (Andre Ware was recruited as a running quarterback and left in 1989 as a record-breaking passer and Heisman winner) and turning over its program to innovators ranging from Bill Yeoman to Art Briles. But over the past quarter century, that formula hasn’t meant sustained success: The Cougars have won nine or more games only five times during that stretch.

The arrival of Herman, who worked at five other programs in Texas, portended a new connection between Houston and a school once mockingly known as “Cougar High” for its commuter school reputation. Herman took his cues from the rise of the University of Miami as a national power in the 1980s, telling Sports Illustrated, “We said, ‘If they can do it at a private school in Miami, why can’t we do it in a football-rich city like Houston?'”

And Oliver gave Herman’s “H-Town Takeover” some credibility and more national attention. Oliver’s commitment “opened some doors that we may not have had opened,” Yurachek said. However, the notion that Oliver chose Houston solely because of Herman remains an obvious source of agitation for him and his family.

They point out that his brother was already there. So was Meekins, his old high school coach. Staying home meant he could continue riding his horses (Caledonia, Oreo, Coffee and Sugar) with his father. He could continue checking in on his mother at least once a week, which often turns into an impromptu nap in one of her guest bedrooms. “I think he likes to stay home for peace,” she said. Everything a homebody could ever want was already in place.

“They know if Marcus wasn’t here, I wouldn’t be here,” Ed said. “They know when they got him, they got his little brother, too.”

“Are people too damn stupid to understand why he stayed there to fight with his brother?” Ed Oliver Sr. asked. “I wasn’t going to let EJ separate that. I told him, ‘While your brother is at U of H, you’re gonna have your ass there.'”

Baker said, in slightly more gentle terms: “Why leave Mayberry? It just felt right. It felt like home to Ed.”

A week after Harvey, the former “Cougar High” was alive with activity befitting its status as the state’s third-largest university. The floodwaters had caused only negligible damage to its facilities. Professors and students had largely returned to class. Most of the chairs were filled at the campus student center.

Ed Oliver, a Houston native and one of the stars of the Cougars, passes cases of water to a teammate at St. Charles Borromeo Catholic Church. Michael Starghill, Jr. for ESPN

In her office suite atop the school’s art-deco-style headquarters, Houston president Renu Khator was balancing her relief at the school’s nearly painless recovery with her plans for dispatching students into affected neighborhoods near the school.

“If the city and community is to come back to normalcy,” Khator said, “we have to play our role.”

Khator, who doubles as the chancellor of the University of Houston system, has been waiting for the day the city embraces its asset in the university. She arrived in 2008 and immediately launched a plan to build a nationally competitive university out of an urban commuter school.

Those plans included a first-rate athletic program, which meant building the $128 million, 40,000-seat, on-campus TDECU Stadium, which opened in 2014. The school is also building a $20 million, 80,000-square-foot indoor practice facility adjacent to the stadium, an item that Herman added into his contract as a condition of his buyout.

Instead, Applewhite, who served as Herman’s offensive coordinator for two years, will inherit the indoor facility and Khator’s rising expectations.

In December, days after Applewhite was hired as Herman’s successor, Khator told faculty and staff at the annual holiday party at her home that “winning is defined at University of Houston as 10-2. We’ll fire coaches at 8-4.”

Months later, she hasn’t backed off that charge. “I like to have a winning team,” she said last week. “I expect the same thing all across the campus, from every department. Let’s push our talent.”

Applewhite demurred when asked about Khator’s comments. “I don’t pay much attention to things that are said,” he said.

Coming off an All-American debut as a freshman, Ed Oliver is the sort of game-changing player who could keep his new head coach in the good graces of the school president and a reeling fan base.

Oliver had seven tackles and two sacks in his swashbuckling college debut in 2016, an upset win over then-No. 3 Oklahoma. “There’s some guys that just stick out, like when we looked at Adrian Peterson,” said then-Oklahoma coach Bob Stoops. “It’s like, ‘Yeah. That’s what you need.'”

He finished the year with 23 tackles for loss, which ranked second nationally. And as an interior lineman, Oliver finished with impressive totals of 66 tackles and nine pass breakups — he was essentially just as good moving backward and laterally as he was forward.

“He’s a first-rounder,” Arizona coach Rich Rodriguez said of Oliver, before his team played against him Saturday.

Of course, that’s at least 18 months away. There’s more than enough time for Oliver to cement his status as one of the most important players in the history of the Houston program.

“He’s the best player we’ve ever had, and that includes Andre Ware,” said Lofaro aka “Johnny Cougar'” and season-ticket holder for 40 years.

And as he grows into his fame, Oliver seems well-positioned to replace Herman as the face of the program.

And, most important to a group of fans accustomed to being abandoned soon after good times, Oliver has assured them he’s not looking to go anywhere else. The #H-TownTakeover can endure for at least a little longer.

“I love Houston,” he said. “This is my hometown, this is my city.”

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