#I wanted to make a human intern cause I saw other people doing cool story stuff with their interns that I couldn't really do with the hand

[nightmun]

I've had Otta for a while and finally decided it's time I show her to the world via this template (made by @emo-hermit)! I also decided that since Haniel does become a patient at some point in their story I could also use this as an opportunity to rant about them more. So get ready for a big ol block of text about these two under the cut:

Otta:

So as the template states, Otta was a pediatrician who worked in a town not too far from Middlesea. She had worked there for a quite few years, but unfortunately she was laid off from her job. After that happened, she started to look for a new job, but with little success. She had always had issues with SVT, but the stress she was under (as well as a lack of sleep from said stress) started to cause it to act up a lot more. This came to a head one day while she was passing through Middlesea in order to get to an interview the next day in the next town over. While boarding a bus, a particularly bad SVT attack caused her to faint and end up in Middlesea Hospital.

Early on in her stay there she is absolutely not a happy camper. Her premise initially was that she is the one person who really questions a lot of the strange happenings around the hospital. Especially at first, she is very much not okay with how weird the hospital is. She sees the guys with swords (one of which can take their head off like it's no big deal), musical treatments, and an intern that is literally just an arm that snakes around the hospital and she's like "nope this place is insane I hate it here." She wanted to leave as soon as she could but she ended up having to stay after her SVT symptoms kept returning. During her first week there she spends a lot of time holed up in her room, refusing to leave or interact with anyone (except Ada, she's the one person that Otta can tolerate at first because she seems to be the most normal person there).

She does eventually start giving the hospital a chance after comforting the now human Haniel during a breakdown but it takes her a while to really warm up to anyone or anything. In the past she had had a lot of bad relationships with other people so she really wasn't too keen on interacting with anyone outside of the bare necessities. But over time she became more and more willing to talk with the people around the hospital. She's still very closed off though, rarely opening up to anyone about anything. The only person who really gets through to her ever is Haniel after the two of them begin to bond (Haniel is pretty much an unrelenting positive force so they eventually wear her down and get her to open up more).

Haniel:

As you may already know, Haniel started out as the Handtern in their early days at the hospital. But after a particularly strong encounter with connectifia abortus, the virus somehow changed them into a human (why? Who cares logic be damned). After this happens, they go through a bit of an adjustment period for a while before they eventually start to get the hang of being human. When they do, they focus a lot on the rhythm defibrillation system, being the main person to run it while Ian and Ada are focused on other tasks.

A bit later on though they end up learning that Edega is pushing Ian to create some sort of "miracle cure" upgrade to the system, putting a lot of strain on both him and Ada since Ian's working day and night on the system leaving Ada to be responsible for the patients. After hearing this, Haniel offers to start helping out with more than just the system, taking on any and every task they are capable of handling. At first it goes pretty well, but when the tasks keep piling up, they start to sacrifice sleep (or any real rest for that matter) in favor of working in order to keep up. The last thing they want is to put any more work back on Ian and Ada's shoulders, so they are more than willing to practically work themself to death to do so.

Eventually the constant strain starts to become a problem, and they start to experience chest pains. They had one particularly bad episode while treating Hailey, who went and got Ada to help them. After that they had to have their heartrate monitored like the rest of the residents in the hospital. They were not very happy about this since they didn't want Ada and Ian to have to worry about them (the last thing they wanted was to add more work to their plate).

At some point they have another encounter with connectifia, and when this happens they find out that the virus has a very negative effect on them now that they're a person (likely a side effect of the virus having been what them human to begin with). Even being in proximity to it can cause them to become sick, and their heart with race and glitch similar to the insomniac when this happens. Interactions with the virus cause them to be pretty delirious for a period of time, where they will talk as if they think they are still just the hand (making comments like how they can see their hand despite there being no mirrors around or how they can't stretch it as far as they should be able to). Their eyes will also glow a faint purple color when they're sick. These effects last a varying amount of time depending on the strength/duration of the encounter, but they do wear off after a while.

Anyways that's all the ranting about them I'll do for now. At some point I plan to go a lot more into these two (both the ongoing story they have going on and their relationship with each other since it plays a pretty integral role in said story) but that's a rant for another day. I hope you liked reading this little bit about these two though! Also I am planning on opening asks on these two later today so if you want to learn more about them absolutely take advantage of that!

[houseki-no-suffering]

Hey! I found a post of yours (specifically a phos analysis) from a looong while ago. Just curious to hear what your thoughts on the last chapters and the conclusion of the story are!

I recently finished the manga after putting it off for 4 years, and it was an incredible but such a bittersweet read. Maybe it's just me being a sucker for happy endings, but man, it really did not get happier </3

And you probably already know this, but did you know that Ichikawa released the last chapter the same day a comet flew by that looked exactly like the comet from the last chapter? Really cool stuff but I am emotionally destroyed haha

I suppose it was the only kind of happy ending HnK could have, and I don't think I mind it as much as other things that have happened in the last few chapters. It reads more HnK than anything that has happened in the past 1-2 years of serialization.

I appreciate the bittersweet notes (always have) and Ichikawa's words that this is how she wanted the story to end, it doesn't happen to every mangaka. Also, the comet bit is such a nice touch.

As for Phos (I suppose this is the post you meant?), I do believe that they got a happy ending.

If you think about it, instead of becoming a lunarian and being prayed away like the others, Phos' journey gave them the power and knowledge to rise above them. Thanks to their flaws (being brittle, having special inclusions, maybe being the most human of all the gems) they became human, the most flawed of creatures, and basically reverted to the purity of a child, a god, sin-less (even if this is a Buddhist story, so idk if I can actually speak of sin) and therefore free of everything that made humanity always dissatisfied, dangerous and unhappy. The others renounced existence, Phos found a way to reach paradise.

Humanity doesn't come out of this looking like a nice bunch of people to hang out with, and neither do the lunarians (gems included at this point). And yet, there's so much compassion in everything Phos does: a kind child, up until the very end.

I always speculated (and was not alone in this) that Phos' job would become to pray the lunarians/everyone away, find Cinnabar the job to kill them, become a Bodhisattva... in this, I believe, the story remained true to itself. What I believe no one saw coming was how shallow(?) it all seemed in the end.

Everyone came back, making Phos' sacrifices and suffering basically meaningless, everyone started getting along and solving centuries-old problems in seconds. Then, Ichikawa introduced so many new changes abruptly... It felt rushed, lazy and overly simple, when most of us loved HnK for its complexity and depth.

Maybe it was because Ichikawa wanted (or needed to) end the series with ch 108. Usually, when mangaka put a limit to the chapters they want to write, it really damages the story and I wasn't a fan of this even in this situation.

Aside from these issues, I appreciate how Ichikawa seemed to care about the character of Phos.

Maybe this all happened so that Phos could be happy, maybe this was the only possible way for Phos to be happy? It would be a little bit like in Devilman, where the world basically ends only so that Satan can understand love. Idk, little old Phos didn't seem that desperate a case, they just wanted truth, yes, this did cause some... issues, but other than that they're a sweetheart.

This is the leitmotif of the series, after all: Phos is a kind, selfless gem who cultivates a deep sense of self-hatred.

They internalize a pressure and a need to feel useful (coming from gem society) and turn them into a necessity for change (unlike in gem society). Initially, they want to find a job. Then, they want to help Cinnabar find a job, then they want to help Ventricosus, then then want to become a fighter, then they want to help sensei, then the gems, then the lunarians...

Contrary to most of the other gems, Phos loves and loves openly and unconditionally. They start off as a self-less creature who believes that their life isn't worth anything. Therefore, they put it on the line time and time again and, eventually, lose it time and time again as they change form.

It's their journey towards truth and happiness: they change and lose pieces of themselves, forget things, renounce gem-ness in favor of humanity and then humanity for god-hood.

Phos changes until they find the form that makes them happy. Their purest, happiest form. They change so much that they come back to square one almost: they become pure Phosphophyllite, with no inclusions at all. Still fragile, still small, but selfless and cheerful. Carefree.

In a sense, HnK ends with Phos becoming Phos.

[fogwitchoftheevermore]

5 14 29

5. What’s a fic idea you’ve had that you will never write?

i feel like i've had a hundred of these, but i'm gonna talk about one @pixlostinatos and i did notes for AGES ago that has become both less relevant (thanks to s2 jimmy+fwhip's breakup) and more relevant with time (thanks pix).

we were calling it "for few can take a broken world and still with beauty fill it", a lyric from the mechanisms song "pellinore and the beast", which has very similar themes to the fic. basically, the concept was that the clones that joel made in s1 still exist, but are slowly falling to pieces as time goes on. they wander the mesa, and are treated like almost cryptids by the people who live there, because they aren't dangerous or scary, but no one can speak to them. the reason for that is that the clones cannot speak. instead, they speak a modified version of mezealean sign language that's easier on their "a little less than human" hands, and because their version of sign language was already a little weird and also mezalea has been gone for 1,000 years, language has changed.

the plan was to write from three people's perspectives: fwhip, jimmy, and joel, in both s1 and s2. s2 jimmy meets the clones first, and the ones he meets are convinced he's the codfather, and keep attempting to tell him this, but he doesn't know what they're trying to say, just that he recognizes the sign for "fish" in there somewhere. he gets weirded out and shakes the clone off, and quietly warns fwhip (who was still his deputy at the time) to not go near the weird things in the dessert. this would lead into a section about s1 jimmy, and about the fact that the clones knew his face because he felt comfortable taking off his mask around them cause, y'know, they're not human, right?

the second section began with s2 fwhip meeting one of the clones, and notices (just like jimmy had) that they sort of look like god joel. weird. he tries to talk to the clone with the basic mesa sign language he's learned from jimmy, and the clone keeps signing the sign for gunpowder, for some reason fwhip doesn't get, but he eventually takes it back to jimmy, but again, they can't figure out what it wants. the s1 fwhip section would've been about him learning how to interact with and speak to the clones, as well as learning their sign for him, which was a combination of the signs for gunpowder and redstone.

and finally, the joel section. s2 joel meets the clones in the mesa one day and he hates this. it's not quite like looking into a mirror, but it is like looking into a mirror before he jumped into the fountain and it is WEIRD. and then, the clones that are in the area sort of... gather. and they start bowing. which is a bit nice, thanks for the respect, but also, what the fuck? then one of them approaches him, and asks in a sign language he never learned and should not understand what they should build. joel wants to tell them to build something to make jimmy angry- why is his first thought a salmon? he tells them to build some sort of toy story reference, and they disperse. joel feels distinctly weird about the whole thing. the s1 joel section was about him building the clones, and about why the clones are the way they are, and why some had managed to survive. it was a really cool concept and i do wish we'd finished it, but alas.

14. If you could see one of your fics adapted into a visual medium, such as comic or film, which fan fic would you pick?

ohhhhh this is so hard to pick i would literally die if i saw any sort of other media made of one of my fics. i think the two that i'm most partial to for this are men are fools, oh, men are frail. like, the entire thing. i think it suits itself well to a comic or other visual medium cause it's mostly dialogue rather than internal thoughts. in the same vein, the conversation between sausage and blood sausage in i still taste you on my lips, lovely bitter water is one that i have wanted to make into a comic for a bit, and that i think suits the medium.

29. Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.)

i hope that ONE OF THESE DAYS i will write a fic about gem and fwhip post rapture returning to the ruins of the other empires, however, it's not going to be in the way i started writing it (which was as part of a different concept about fwhip and family and love and imagined curses) so i'll post two snippets from that fic.

"gem was a good ruler, the finest wizard the crystal cliffs had seen in some time, and maybe, if she'd been countess, things would've been different. fwhip likes to hope they would've been; that if gem had become countess it all would've been ok. but he knows his sister. he knows how much she hated the idea of ruling the grimlands for the rest of her life, the idea of becoming like their father.

the note she wrote when she left told fwhip he was not cursed. she said that he would be a better count than she could have ever been, and that he would be happy.

he read her letter in an empty manor that was suddenly more empty than it had ever been- more empty than had fwhip been entirely alone within it, and he did not believe her."

"they found a shockingly few number of bodies in the end. more people had run away than fwhip had expected. he always assumed he was more a coward than the rest of them, he supposed."

[ellesliterarycorner]

What My Followers Want to See More of in Female Characters

My favorite thing in my WIP is all the badass female characters I have. I love writing about the bonds, friendships, relationships, and rivalries between them. It makes my little heart so happy! And, I will be the first person to admit that I hadn’t even thought of some of the things you guys suggested on our little instagram poll, but I cannot wait to add some of them to my story! Even though we’ve made so many leaps and bounds with the way female characters are portrayed, I still think we’ve got a long way to go, and if you guys include half of the stuff you suggested in your stories, then I think we’re gonna be okay. Once again, I didn’t change anything that you guys wrote, so there are gonna be some repeats on the list, but this time just because the list was getting so long, I did take out a few things if I saw that several other people had suggested it!

“Nerdy” or sporty girl who gets a love interest without a makeover or changing herself 

super girly femme characters shown as a complex person

making her own decisions, if good or bad

a strong female character without a tragic backstory 

gender non conformity!! 

Being openly children and not changing her mind about it

chubby and flaws and not having a crush with every cute boy they see 

girlie girls who are still really powerful 

self reliance but still having emotion, not being ice cold but not needing a a man 

lesbians who’s entire character arc isn’t about them being a lesbian 

having body insecurities eg wanting to be flat-chested

women in politics and women that have classic “man” as well as “woman” characteristics 

independence 

be less oblivious lol and more like real people who pick up hints 

not dead caring moms.

comic relief female characters

not minding about liking “girly” things/ having a bunch of friends who are boys but there is no romance between them 

being a mother doesn’t mean giving up ur dreams and settling for less,

having mcs that actually make smart decisions 

a bad ass character that loves kids and wants to have them in the future

not taking abuse cause they think it’s love 

ball gowns and pretty stuff for themselves and not for a mission or anything 

more bold female characters since many females are shown as shy 

having a big appetite 

female characters who can be cool without having to wield swords 

willingness to do domestic work with a cheerful heart 

women whose strength is their intelligence 

women who are not afraid to be feminine or strong 

strong mother figures 

girls that are the lead in their relationship over the boy 

more actual girly interests 

the women you least expect to sing the best 

strong women who like feminine stuff 

being happy without a romantic relationship 

black females being protected or vulnerable for once 

ending up single 

hanging out with male friends with no romantic subtext 

females who aren’t super pretty

ultra femininity (pink, dresses, glitter, makeup) that isn’t seen as bad/evil/weak 

allow them to look up to/admire male peers rather than feel inferior or as if they have something to prove 

traditional “femininity” isn’t regarded as weak! Can cook/sew/clean and it’s normal : )

Female characters who are funny and make quips 

soft, kind women, who are still powerful. I don’t like the mean strong girl stereotype : (

Not forced strong women. Just relatable and human ones. We all have strengths and weaknesses 

less insecurities. Yes, we all have those, but it’s becoming stereotypical, mostly in YA 

I want them to be strong without being upright bossy 

strong women who also embrace their feminine side 

a girl with menstruation

ego actions- I feel like only male characters can throw ego actions while fem characters are classified selfish 

nonbinary female characters 

has a twin 

sarcasm and general impoliteness without making them the bady guy 

them being warriors or soldiers and that’s normal, nobody questions it 

villains and manipulating 

autistic female characters 

being single throughout the story. Some people like being single, thank you very much 

not being the perfect pretty little thing. Having an interesting personality and thoughts, dreams outside of relationships and being a badass 

a morally grey female character like y r those only men 

girls and women in healthy relationships with personalities aside from their S/O

girls who can be strong and confident while still being emotionally vulnerable 

also, girls who own huge “aggressive” dog breeds

groups of girls doing really impulsive things together like all guy friend groups do 

strong, but not jerks about it and not looking down on things like sewing/cooking/etc 

shyness that doesn’t need to be “fixed” or overcome 

well written romances- straight and gay (ie not ones that objectify one partner or the other) 

“strong female characters” who are gentle and caring! Tough doesn’t mean heatless! 

women who care more about the plot than their inconvenient love life 

girls who empower other girls and don’t play into internalized misogyny 

i’d love to see women putting forward their ideas and having their voices heard more : )

Strong in their own way, not just hands on fighting stuff. Like mentally strong 

less who are arrogant and rude to the male protagonists who they fall in love with anyway 

More LGBTQ+ women! 

Oh and more female protagonists who stay single 

being average looking, not a hot model and being okay with it 

Not falling for “bad boys” 

saving herself or another character from a dangerous situation 

not wanting marriage or children and people being okay with it 

not obsessed with  looks 

being good at math and sciences 

not being sexualized constantly (or at all) 

being just friends with straight male characters 

being like other girls 

having a life outside of romance 

to not need a man, but also not to be a stereotypical “bad girl, I don’t need man” authors need to find a medium between the two 

drinking, swearing, anything deemed “masculine” 

confident women who embrace both their femininity and masculinity

empowering other women

somebody with variety of interests and skills that are shown to be important to her badass female characters who are genuinely kind/even loving 

strong women who don’t discredit the model of the ideal woman of the time in historical fiction 

older women protagonists! I’d love to read about middle aged female heroes

females that aren’t afraid to be themselves 

strength without being a “baddie” or at the expense of others 

emotional sensitivity that isn’t linked to mental illness, men, or a weakness in character 

a chaotic neutral female protagonist 

physically strong/skilled female characters that remain feminine and aren’t femme fatales 

female characters that don’t particularly fit into a trope as that’s not really realistic

[monstersinthecosmos]

you mentioned how many of Armand's traits have been given to Louis, but I think when I really started to give up on getting even a loose book interpretation of Armand was when I saw the first Claudia trailer. Cause if you already have one character stuck in perpetual teenagerhood, are you that motivated to introduce a 2nd one? I mean, I personally would, because I think it'd be that much funnier to see two teenagers plotting against each other in S2, but my fear is these writers will just figure they've got teen angst and identity covered, and all they need Armand for is to pop up and be a non-threatening love interest while Lestat is otherwise engaged.

I'm still not sold on the Rashid theories, mostly because no matter how ooc one gets, I'm not sure I can believe they'd position Armand as totally subservient to Louis. And I LIKE Rashid. But as Armand? No, please no.

So like. I’ve been really cautious about talking about Claudia because I’m like, mega skeptical about this character change and I don’t like it 😊

As much as I’m willing to give AMC!Claudia a chance as an individual OC, I’ve gotten some red flags about the way the team has talked about women & girls and I’m just. Like. How are you going to remove the main feminist drive of the story to replace it with potentially sexist tropes about teenage girls?

I wrote about this a while back so I won’t go deep on this right now, but I think it’s really suspicious that RJ & them don’t think aging L&L up to their 30s matters when like, they’re saying being 14 somehow is an existential crisis. Does age matter or does it not? Why do they keep commenting on girls’ hormones? Do these vampires even HAVE hormones?! Bro she’s dead lol. I mean I guess they have sex now so whatever it’s a whole new world.

But like the thing about VC characters is that their age has more to do with their relationship to humanity imo; we’ve talked in circles about whether or not the Blood fixes your brain where it is and I think that’s a really cool conversation to have but there’s not a definitive answer bc Anne wasn’t writing with it in mind. Their life experiences are more significant than their brains.

Like, Armand has never been a teen angst figure. Even when I first read them as a teen I wasn’t like OMG HE’S LIKE ME.  VC isn’t a coming of age story and isn’t YA. Armand is 500 years old lmfao and his mortal age is a stigma to always remind us what happened to him. His visual age creates a set of external factors related to the way people treat him, and same with Book!Claudia. Claudia was not a child, either, and the tragedy of her story (aside from the internal body horror) is that people will treat her like a child forever.

So having AMC!Claudia as a teenage girl can still feature this same topic; the horror of her story has potential to tap into those same themes, even if they’re very different. There’s a difference in that she CAN be independent even if her journey getting there is different. This tragedy is less internal than the book, less dramatically anyway; I think the horror here will be more external. People are still probably going to talk down to her and treat her poorly and not allow her agency in certain situations. In a universe where she can have & wants to have sex, she’s always going to have to navigate potential child predators. But she isn’t locked to an adult the way Book!Claudia is. And I think this has a lot of potential and like, even accepting the change as a logistical workaround for shooting, I think care has to be taken to tell that rich story, and I’d like to see it. I would hate for us to swap out Claudia’s story for vampire soap opera teen girl tropes, especially knowing how personal the character was to Anne and how it started the entire series.

So having said that, like. There’s two ways to look at this:

If Armand is still a teen, after watching Episode 4 I really worry about the petty changes they’d make to him if there’s like TEENAGER LORE in this universe. Armand isn’t Like That because he’s a dumb teenager, he’s Like That because he’s been repeatedly traumatized for centuries. Even as a mortal he wasn’t a typical teenager. WHAT DID MARIUS CALL HIM, A WIZENED FUNERAL SPIRIT OR SOMETHING LMAO. And like if the show posits that Teenage Girl = Whiny Boy Crazy Annoying Drama Queen, like, what is the trope they’ll lean into for Teenage Boy? How does this lore about being hormonal fit into the way they’ll portray him?

And like, WHILE YOU’RE RIGHT THAT NOW WE ALREADY HAVE A TEEN CHARACTER it makes me wonder if Armand’s role would change and how this could change the way he antagonizes Claudia. COULD THEY EVEN BE A COUPLE????? Imagine she leaves with Armand instead of Madeleine?

Cause I’m thinking like, if they stuck to the main Paris story, this Claudia doesn’t really have a NEED for Madeleine at all, does she? They’re setting her up that she’s interested in romance so I think it might be that she wants a romantic partner. (Of course Madeleine might have been romantic too once she turned but meaning that it was framed as a parental figure because Claudia was always going to need a visible adult.)

But if the show isn’t afraid of talking about teenage sexuality, he could still show up as a love interest. Like the shallowest read of TVA would tell us that he’s like Ricean Sex Addict Teen and I wonder in the hands of this team if that translates to him being hypersexual in trying to seduce Louis. We sure rushed through to Claudia’s 18th birthday, so! Lol Maybe they’re not afraid to go there. (Also how old were Louis and Jonah??????????????????????????????????????????? Louis might not mind lol.)

But you’re also right that if there’s only room for one teen, and Armand ISN’T a teen, like. It’s just not the same, yall!!!!!!!!!! It’s just not the same character. And even seeing the way age is handled/discussed in this universe (plus the way they’ve handled Daniel & Night Island) just screams to me that they don’t care about Armand the way I do LMAO. To each his own, man, but it’s like. As a VC fan, like, when you strip so much of what I enjoy about VC from an adaptation, what’s left?   

[plush-rabbit]

LOV W/ Quirkless S/O

A/N: More just on taking care of them (i went a little OOC w/ them because I thought about Jin putting a jacket around your shoulders and I cried)

Bubaigawara Jin:

Jin treats you as if you are made of glass. He is just full of emotions and love and he doesn’t try to hide it. He’s eager to go up to you, to wrap his arms around you and keep you protected. His personalities will switch over from time to time, but even if they do, his hands never leave your body, constantly fretting over to check if you have any bruises or bumps.

While you two are out together, he takes great care of you. He’s intimidating. He’s a well-built man who has quite a stare even behind a mask, so most people avoid getting into any sort of altercations with either of you. He has an arm around your waist, pulling you close whenever you are near, pulling your leg up to overlap his, his hands constantly on you. 

He’s actually rather glad that you’re weak. He doesn’t like the negative side effects that it comes with but he’s happy that you rely on him so much. He likes knowing that he found his place in a family. He found his place with you and he likes to pull you on his lap and keep you safe. 

If you happen to faint near him, he’s quick to catch you. He’ll scoop you up and will hold you while resuming his activities as if everything is normal. He doesn’t fret too much with your spells since you get back right up. He’ll only worry if you actually hit yourself on the fall or if you tell him that you’re feeling queasy. At that point, he’ll settle you down and bring you some alcohol wipes to have your senses focus on something. He’s knowledgeable about the human body so he knows how to give you a quick fix-up when needed.

Jin values you. If you’re feeling ill, he keeps you close. He’s reliable, so he’ll go on whatever mission that he needs to, but he checks in on you every hour. His rough hands will glide over your sleeping body, he’ll nuzzle close to you and move his hand to the base of your neck and slowly curve over the back of your head and press his lips to your forehead. He’s greedy and he’s pulling you close, promising that he’ll protect you till death.

Dabi:

Dabi is indifferent to it in the beginning. If you faint, he’ll raise a brow and fix you up, smoothing out your hair to check for any bumps and if you seem fine, he doesn’t really fret over you. He’s seen you faint a few times and you always come out of it all right, so he isn’t too worried about you. As the relationship strengthens, he values your input with various hypotheticals, going over different plans and just hearing what you have to say.

On the rare occasion that you two do go out, he has a hand on you. It can often be seen as possessive- a hand around the back of your neck, arm hooked around you, and while a hand hold doesn’t seem possessive, he has a tight hold on your hand, enough to cause a slight strain but not uncomfortable. He’s fiercely protective but in a quiet way. He has a hand on you to steer you out of harm’s way, to keep you close to him and make sure that if you do start to feel weak, you can lean on him.

You’re quirkless and you’re weak. He isn’t going to let anything bad happen to you. He’ll act indifferent to caring about you but that’s how he is, he doesn’t want to show his true colors to the public or even to the privacy of your eyes. He keeps a hold on you to keep you from bumping into things. If you were to faint in front of him, he’s quick on his feet and he’ll catch you- pulling on your collar or arm usually. 

If you tire easily, he tries to find a reason why in an inconspicuous way. He’ll tug on your arm and tell you that he’s tired so you two have to sleep earlier, stroke at your back and keep an arm above your chest, keeping you trapped there and if you are unable to sleep, he’ll talk to you, tell you a story about a heist he once did or have you just talk to him about anything. If you aren’t eating well, he forces you to have small snacks in between meals- a granola bar, fruit, a smoothie- just something so you don’t have an empty stomach.

Dabi is a complicated character. He doesn’t want to form an attachment because he wants to believe that he doesn’t need it because he just doesn’t- various reasons- but you’re this fragile thing who clings to him for protection, who eats what he has to offer and while the input is valuable, he likes to hear you speak. He’ll keep you as safe as he can, try to understand the type of pain that you go through. 

Iguchi Shuichi:

Shuichi panics when he finds you growing tired randomly. However, it’s internalized, so when he feels you leaning against him, slow moving arms and hands that wrap around his, he thinks you’re just trying to cause him to grow flustered, so he’ll nudge his arm to get you to pay attention only to ee your tired eyes that you can hardly keep open. He’ll stiffen, take a sharp intake of breath and just let you rest while he figures what’s wrong in his mind.

He tries to maintain a cool composure but at the end of the day, seeing you grow tired for no apparent reason, makes him nervous. He tries to find a reason for it, grabbing your face in his hands, claws that brush gently over your skin as he searches your eyes. If you cover your hands with his eyes, he narrows his eyes and will move to pinch your cheeks, the side of his fingers squishing the fat of your face.

He will try to find a reason why you’re feeling so tired. He’ll let you sleep in longer, shutting off any alarms before you have a chance to stir. He’ll curve his hand over your forehead, checking if you have a fever before he leaves to get ready for the day. He’ll check how long you naturally sleep and when you start to take a pill for an ache in your body, he will make you sit and rest. He’ll usually have a small snack for you- a bag of candy or some gummies that you can snack on. 

He desperately tries to make sure that you don’t overwork yourself. He’ll sit by you, have you put your work down- yes, he understands how important it is for you to plan for future missions, but he needs you to understand that your health is more important. He’ll have you sit by him, a hand over your hip as he keeps you by him, watching him play a video game or a let’s play.

He’s easily flustered and his words to you are often strained because he’s nervous about messing up in front of you. He will press himself close to you late at night, rub his claws down your spine and scold when he finds that you’re still awake even though your eyes are drooping. Shuichi knows that you’re lying when you tell him you can’t sleep but when you bury your head in his chest and beg for him to talk to you, he’ll agree and talk about a movie he once saw when he was small and the details are all over the place and he’s unable to recall more than the emotional parts, but it’s enough for you to sleep.

Sako Atsuhiro:

As expressive and eccentric that Atsuhiro can be, he’s quite easily surprised when he finds out just how fragile you are. He’s visibly taken aback when you faint in front of him and he’s grateful for the mask that covers his frantic eyes and there’s a jerk of his hands as he reaches out towards you, only for you to pop back up rubbing the top of your head.

He keeps a close eye on you. He doesn’t want you going out alone in case you happen to feel ill and he tries to convince you to go with him or let him go. He’s worrisome. The showman is nervous around you, intertwining your hands before you have a chance to answer and he’s already pulling you away.

His first instinct when you faint in front of him is to catch you. However, he’ll often encase you in a marble when he does so. He’s secure enough in his abilities that he could catch you before you have a chance to actually hit the floor but putting you in a marble and doing a quick trick of his fingers allows for a louder action. He has this growing grin that quickly turns smug when you’re in his arms and he’ll kiss your forehead and make a sly remark about how he caught you.

During your fainting spells, he tries to keep a closer eye on you to see how you act before actually fainting. He watches for a stumble in your step, how you lean into him or the weakening of your hand. He pulls you close to his chest and will step to the side, asking if you feel alright. There are moments where he asks for you to describe what you feel like when you’re about to faint- pure curiosity to see if you can pinpoint it before your body can react. 

Ever-present, Atsuhiro doesn’t leave your side. He values what you have to say and while he isn’t fond of letting you be alone, he’ll swallow the nervous feeling that lodges in his throat and press a kiss against the tip of your nose, a gloves hand curving around your face as he whispers against your lips to call if you feel ill and not to push yourself. He’s entirely devoted, asking for a few favors and making sure whatever workload you have is shortened. 

Shigaraki Tomura:

Tomura tries to act like he doesn’t care. He’ll act like your fainting spells are an annoyance to him. Even in the beginning, he’ll mutter under his breath about how annoying that it is that you faint.  But he’s extremely nervous. His eyes will widen and his hands will reach towards you before he remembers and he pulls his hands back. He feels awful- especially when he gets harsh stares from other members. It’s understandable but there isn’t much he can do about it.

He can’t do much when it comes to physically taking care of you. He’ll offer you the things you need to help you feel better, ignore the stare of Kurogiri when he sneaks you snacks, and sometimes he enables the more unhealthy behavior. It’s not on purpose but he likes staying up late with you and having you sleep in for the simple fact that you always curl next to him or find a way to just be near him when he insists for you to sleep separately. 

However when he starts to see that you’re growing weary from the simplest act and resulting in you passing out during random hours, he stops the behavior. He grows as a person and in turn he takes on a more caring approach to you. He’s strict as time goes on, he’ll make you go to bed at a certain time, have you finish plans in the morning if you have things to do.

He isn’t a fan to argue with you on something that is important to your health. He wants to know that you are getting the rest that you need and once he gains control of his quirk, he’s leaner with you. He’ll let you stay near him as long as you don’t work or do anything that prevents you from sleeping and he’ll run his hand up and down your back or massage at your hand.

Tomura will still let you sleep in. He likes to watch as you sleep, pressed against his side with a hand thrown over his body and he’s just watching you. The sun peeks through the window and his alarm rings as time edges closer to a meeting and he’ll sigh. He lets you sleep in, letting you get all the rest that you need while he has the more strenuous work saved for others.

Toga Himiko:

Himiko winces when she sees you faint for the first time but she’s quick to act. She’ll run her hand over your head, check for any bumps or possibly broken bones, and when you awaken, she’ll ask if you’re okay and if you say you are, she’ll lightly tap your head. She can almost always tell afterwards if you’ve gotten enough rest or if you’re eating properly.

She knows that eating healthy won’t solve everything but it’s a step in the right direction. As much as her lovesick attitude can make her appear ditzy, she’s quite intelligent. So she’ll see you start to rub at your eyes or lean against a solid surface and she’ll pull you down to sit next to her and offer a sweet that she has on hand. She tries to be dotting; absolutely falling in love with the idea of being your strong knight. 

She likes having you lay on her lap or cling to her sleeve when you start to feel a bit dizzy. She appreciates the feeling where you trust her enough to start to lean onto her. While your drowsiness appears more often, she really does love it. She likes the clinginess that you start to show, the heaviness of your eyes where you’ll try to keep your eyes open in order to hear her talk more or plan things out.

There are times where she’ll end something early just so you two can leave. She doesn’t care for consequences and she gives you a cheeky smile when you both run from prior engagements. She likes to just find a quiet spot, play with make-up or watch a video online. Oftentimes, if she has the feeling that you’re growing tired, she’ll offer for you to lay on her lap or will just talk about her day, oftentimes mentioning the League in one of her stories.

Himiko loves when you seemingly pass out beside her. She loves to just move you onto her lap and press her face close to yours and watch you. She’ll trace a delicate finger over your features, dip her finger on your cupid’s bow and just watch. She likes to take pictures and if someone happens to come by and you aren’t awake yet and she knows that you’re fine, she’ll have people be silent as she continues whatever she was doing while you get rest.

[nevermindirah]

Non-Jewish friends, y’all might be wondering right now: Israel is doing clearly unacceptable shit to Palestinians. So, why are some Jews ardent Zionists, and why do some Jews seem to feel personally attacked by criticism of Israel?

A lot of (non-Palestinian) non-Jews have asked me where I stand on Israel/Palestine over the years, apropos of nothing, just because I’m Jewish. For the longest time I felt so stuck because I just didn’t know much about Israel/Palestine and what little I did know turned out to be largely misinformation and I felt so much pressure to say The Correct Thing That All Jews Should Say About This Issue. Obviously the violence Israel is committing against Palestinians is horrific and the interpersonal weirdness individual Jews might experience as people discuss Israel’s horrific violence doesn’t compare. I’m making this post as a small supplement to the important conversations going on about what Israel is doing to Palestinians in East Jerusalem, Gaza, and the West Bank, as well as Palestinian citizens of Israel and Palestinian refugees and their descendants living outside land Israel controls. I’m making this post because non-Jews might be feeling confused by conflicting messages about Zionism as either settler colonialism or Jewish self-determination. It sucks feeling like you have to choose only one oppressed group or another. It’s possible to support Palestinian liberation and Jewish liberation at the same time! Here’s some context that might help.

Palestinian friends will probably want to ignore this post, y’all shouldn’t have to deal with your oppressors’ feelings, and especially not right now.

Zionism is the ideology behind the devastating violence Israel is committing against Palestinians right now and has been committing against Palestinians since 1947-48. It’s heartbreaking and messy to talk about this reality, because Zionism originated as a strategy to protect Jews from antisemitism.

Any oppressed group can turn into oppressors under enough pressure, because humans are flawed. Jews fleeing antisemitism turning into Israelis ethnically cleansing Palestinians happened because Zionism is profoundly influenced by its time and place of origin: 19th century Europe.

Europe invented antisemitism, and basically every European country has done at least one very very bad structural antisemitism, like expelling all the country's Jews (the monarch and/or the church then stole all the wealth the expelled people had to leave behind), looking the other way when peasants murdered a bunch of Jews as an outlet for their frustration with the actual (non-Jewish) ruling class, banning Jews from owning property or holding certain jobs or being members of guilds etc, and of course the big horrific state-sponsored mass-murder operations the Inquisition and the Holocaust. From the 1790s through the 19th century different European governments emancipated their Jews, ie removed legal barriers to full citizenship and economic participation. But this didn't end antisemitism. Just like the legal improvements of the 19th and 20th centuries didn't end antiblackness in the United States.

Also happening in this time: nationalism swept Europe. From the French Revolution through the end of World War I, Europe’s predominant form of government transformed from multiethnic empires to nation-states, countries led by and for a particular ethnic group.

So this Austro-Hungarian dude Theodor Herzl came up with this idea for Jewish nationalism. Every other European ethnic group is getting their own country, so why not Jews? Maybe this is the solution to antisemitism! Maybe we’ll finally be safe if we just all move en masse out of Europe to a place that will take all of us and never expel us!

But also also happening in Europe and around the world in this time: European imperialism and white supremacist settler colonialism. Chattel slavery saw its height and then its end (legally, at least) during this era, but white supremacy entrenched itself across the planet in post-slavery economic practices and cultural imperialism as well as national and international laws.

I believe countries have a moral obligation to take in as many refugees as they can squeeze in. International law protecting refugees has evolved a lot over the past century, but we’re still devastatingly far from every refugee getting a safe place to call home, and the main reason for that is white supremacy. The Biden administration didn’t undo the Trump administration’s horrifically low cap on refugees until like last week and it’s because Democratic party leaders treat centrist white people as more valuable voters than the huge and growing numbers of people of color, immigrants, LGBT people, unmarried women, and working class people who want to vote for elected leaders who get that nobody’s free until we’re all free. Ahem. Back to the topic at hand, the US and many other countries turned away untold numbers of refugees fleeing the fucking Holocaust, so odds are slim they’d be more welcoming in less desperate times. Moving from places where Jews are an unwanted minority to places where Jews are still a minority and either still unwanted or little understood and unlikely to win revolutionary levels of support from a largely non-Jewish public seems like a bad plan.

In the mid to late 19th century, lots of Jews took the kernel of Zionism and ran with it in different directions. Maybe this ideology could mean Jewish cultural flourishing alongside stronger political/economic integration into the societies where we’re already living! Maybe it could mean a particular kind of socialism that advocates for the liberation of Jews both as Jews and as workers! Maybe it could mean a revitalization of Jewish religious practice both in Jerusalem where we have important heritage sites and everywhere we live across the world!

Eventually Herzl’s vision of Zionism won out over the others: Jewish nationalism in the sense of a Jewish nation-state, a country that has a Jewish demographic majority and/or that legally privileges Jews over non-Jews.

Problem is, if you want to do that, you have to find a piece of land on which to do it, and Earth was already a pretty crowded place a hundred years ago. Many locations were considered, and the one that ended up winning that debate was Palestine. Where a shit ton of people, mostly non-Jews, were already living. They were forming their own nationalist movement at the time: in the waning days of the Ottoman Empire they began to organize for local self-determination in Palestine.

The Herzl types who developed Zionism as an ideology and built institutions to advocate for and create a Jewish ethnostate in Palestine were a small subset of European Jews, mostly men, mostly with significant economic privilege within what Jews were able to achieve in their particular societies at the time. They were just as Orientalist as the non-Jews around them, just as antiblack, just as racist generally for all that Jews were (and sometimes still are) considered non-white in much of Europe. They had a cool idea (put a lot of effort into something that could protect Jews from antisemitism) floating in a bathtub full of shit, and they did practically nothing to protect the cool idea from absorbing that shit. Results of this include thinking about the millions of people already living in Palestine as if they were either like the rocks and the trees that will go with the flow and accept a new ruling class, or indistinct Arabs who would just leave for other Arab countries because what could be the difference — in the staggeringly small amount of time they considered the existing residents of Palestine at all.

This racist hand-waving extended to Zionist leaders’ attitudes about Jews outside Europe as well. White Jews in settler colonies like the US were largely anti-Zionist at the time (not wanting their own countries to accuse them of dual loyalty was a common reason) but European Zionist leaders took what help they could get from Jews in the US, South Africa, Australia, etc. Jews across the Middle East and North Africa, however, barely heard from Zionist leaders about any of this until Zionist militias had removed enough Palestinians from the land and it was time to repopulate it with whichever Jewish bodies were convenient. You might have heard "all the Arab countries expelled their Jews in 1948" but lots of first-person accounts tell a different story of Israel coercing Jews who’d lived securely for a long time in places like Morocco to immigrate to Israel and then confiscating their passports and forcing them to live on less-fertile land with fewer resources while serving as a buffer between Palestinians and European Jewish immigrants. Ella Shohat is the best-known writer on Israeli racism against non-European Jews and I strongly recommend Sephardim in Israel: Zionism from the Perspective of Its Jewish Victims as a starting point to learn more about this.

Which brings us to today. We still haven’t eradicated antisemitism, several European governments that did a lot of structural antisemitism they still haven’t made meaningful reparations for get to feel good about themselves for “giving the Jews a state” as if carving up the former Ottoman Empire was up to them and not the people who lived there, and millions of people across the world who previously either lived peacefully enough alongside Jews or hadn’t really thought about us much at all now have very valid reasons to be pissed at this country that claims it represents all of us.

Zionism was supposed to protect Jews from antisemitism. And Israel has saved Jewish lives! But if we hadn’t sunk the past 70+ years into an ethnostate we could’ve been putting that energy into other political and economic activity to create adequate international support for refugees while we work on ending root causes of refugee crises, like antisemitism, racism, climate change, and capitalism. Meanwhile Zionism has killed, maimed, incarcerated, stolen from, traumatized, and erased the history of millions of Palestinians just because they happened to be living on land that some dudes who had a lot more in common with Thomas Jefferson and Donald Trump than with you or me decided needed to be cleansed for a Jewish ethnostate.

White nationalists in the US love Israel because they want American Jews to go away. Fascist leaders across Europe love Israel for the same reason, so much so that Israel’s prime minister is buddy-buddy with Trump and the equivalent shitstains of several European far-right parties. And I don’t know what it’s like in other white supremacist countries that are close allies of Israel, but the overwhelming majority of Zionist lobbying that pushes the US to give so much aid to Israel comes from Evangelical Christians, because they believe all the Jews have to be in the Holy Land for Jesus to come back. No thanks.

This whole thing fucking sucks. Jews and Palestinians, like all human beings, deserve to be free. Many Jews are understandably afraid of what might happen next if Israel decided to give up on ethnonationalism, allow Palestinian refugees to return, make reparations, and establish a pluralistic democracy that represents and protects all its residents — will some Palestinians murder Jews in revenge? That’s genuinely fucking scary. And it’s genuinely fucking scary to be a Palestinian in Israel/Palestine, and has been for over 70 years. We’ve gotta do something different. I say that as a white person sitting on land stolen from Piscataway people who has thought in detail about what portion of my income would be reasonable for my government to tax in order to fund reparations for the descendants of enslaved people.

Ok. One final piece of context before I wrap this up.

Most Jewish institutions in the US are explicitly Zionist, teach children that Zionism is THE way to ensure Jewish safety, and increasingly tell non-Zionist Jews that we're unwelcome or even that we’re not “real” Jews. This comes in a context where it’s only been 76 years since the latest and most gruesome of several attempts to wipe our entire people off the face of the planet. If you grew up in that environment, you, too, might be jumpy about even hearing the words Zionism or Israel, let alone considering the devastation this ideology and country have caused Palestinians.

Jews have a right to exist. Jews have a millennia-old connection to this scrap of land in the Levant, and we have a right to access religiously and culturally important geographic landmarks. What we don't have a right to is murdering or expelling other people in order to make an ethnostate, on that land or any other. Zionism is settler colonialism, but it’s settler colonialism by and for people who have a valid need for protection from structural antisemitism, which means that it’s going to take a lot of messy empathy to undo. The members of my extended family who voted for Trump (non-Jews in my case, though Jared Kushner isn’t the only Jewish Trumpite) are afraid that ending white supremacy will demote them from a privileged class to equal footing with everyone else — that’s the kind of fear individuals work on in therapy, not the kind that’s reasonable for a whole society to prevent from happening. I and millions of Jews do deserve for whole societies to work hard to end antisemitism.

I would never and will never ask a Palestinian to gently request their liberation. But if you’re not Palestinian, and you’ve got a little extra empathy to spare this week, I ask you to remember what I’ve shared here when interacting with Jews about Israel/Palestine.

If you’re a fellow Jew reading this and you feel like Israel is the only way to guarantee our safety, all I ask of you is to sit with the idea that what Israel is doing to Palestinians is too high a cost for safety that’s still not guaranteed, and start to imagine real-world ways we can protect our people from antisemitism without an ethnostate.

I made this post for people who know me (or know of me I guess?) in Old Guard and Cap fandom, despite my better judgment, because talking about Jewish Booker and Jewish Bucky and Jewish Natasha makes me so happy and I think some of the people I love on these characters with might appreciate this perspective. I didn’t provide any links in this post on purpose (to decrease its usefulness, so fewer people will reblog it) because the risk of anon hate when talking about Zionism outside my immediate fandom circles is so high. You’re welcome to reblog this post if you find it helpful! Unless you’re not within a few concentric circles of me, in which case, maybe don’t? If seeing this post makes you want to send me anon hate, no need: many people who share your perspective have already done so on Twitter.

Reliable sources on all this info are a few googles away, and I apologize for the things I know I oversimplified as well as any things I might have misremembered. I’m an American who’s never lived in Israel/Palestine who is posting this on my fandom blog.

TL;DR: This is a short ‘n pithy post about the same idea.

TL;DR, fandom edition: The shortest distillation of this anti-Zionist Jew’s feelings on the matter can be found in segment 4 of Five Times Booker Got Wasted on Purim and One Time He Didn’t.

[lazyliars]

/rp

DreamXD actually slots very nicely into a working theory I've had for about two or so months now, mainly centering around one question:

What happened to Dream?

Namely, why did Dream change, when exactly did it happen, and was it solely an internal change, or was there an external force at play, specifically a preternatural one?

I think with DreamXD, we might finally have an answer.

Or at least some clues to follow. DreamXD presents a shift in every single paradigm the Dream SMP has had. Like, I think most of it is just being so utterly blind-sided by George Lore Real, but part of it is the massive ramifications of an Actual God* being present in the storyline.

((*On the other resident god of the server, Foolish:

DreamXD is different than Foolish, in that his characterization is so dramatically inhuman - Foolish talks and acts like a (somewhat eccentric) person, and his powers are, as far as we know, limited in comparison to the creative-mode godhood that DreamXD occupies. And whether that is because Foolish is not a "full" god (having been referred to as a demigod) or simply because he's spent so much time around humans, we don't know, but we do know that either way, DreamXD is NOT that.

DreamXD's voice is marked by glitches and dramatic shifts in tone, he seems to lack control over the different aspects of his personality, like the more "Dream" part vs. the darker one that threatens to eat peoples souls. The "normal" part even displays confusion when George references things that the "darker" part said, implying that it may not be fully aware of itself.

TLDR: Foolish acts more human than DreamXD, who has a very eldritch personality.))

To get right to the point:

The Dream we knew before November 16th, and the Dream we know now are not the same. Something changed, and it changed for the worse.

Consider: Dream was always antagonistic to the L'manbergians - he was always imperious to them, and he was responsible for starting a number of fights between his faction and theirs, just as many if not more than they were.

But, he was also not... evil. He'd pick fights with Tommy, the disc wars were still a thing, but the gravity of the spats they had weren't dire. They were fun. They were... actually a game. He wasn't like the way he is now. While in hindsight we can look at these events and detect a serious undertone knowing what's to come, at the time they were far from it.

There is an argument to be made that he had the same tendencies as now, just not expressed as loudly, and while I believe it's a valid argument, I disagree that it's proof of Dream always being the way he is now.

Sapnap, Badboyhalo, Sam. They all remember Dream as their friend - they remember someone who was, maybe a little aggressive and a lot competitive, but not cruel. Not needlessly murderous. Not someone who steals sentimental items and lines the walls of a disgusting museum to use against them.

Dream cut them out. Sapnap was totally blindsided. Bad doesn't seem to fully believe it. Sam blamed himself for not realizing and tried to take the weight of that crime on his own shoulders by becoming the Warden.

There's also the competing theory that what happened to Dream was purely psychological - either the circumstances slowly isolating him from his friends driving him to the do things he's done, or a desire for control that started early and continued to fester until it overshadowed everything else, or any combination of both.

And those theories are still valid, they could still be the case, but I haven't been able to shake the idea that there is something deeper at play. I can't overstate how the exile arc and everything after it have been so inhumane, so cruel, and... not exactly out of character in the sense that I could never see Dream doing them, but in the sense that I could never see him doing them for no reason.

And there really doesn't seem to be one. Dream says himself, it's like a game. He sees people as toys, puppets. And there just doesn't seem to be an inciting incident that could explain how he made the leap from semi-authoritarian leader who, despite being a warmonger, does love his friends, to heartless murderer who wants to reduce everyone he knows to dolls.

There's... ways, he could get there, but nothing that we've seen makes sense. There is a missing piece, something that must have happened from his POV that we didn't get to see because he doesn't stream.

And DreamXD could be it. This godly entity that claims that it is "a part of [Dream]" but that it isn't him entirely. That seems to share the lack of understanding of humanity that Dream has been displaying like when he asks if resurrecting Tommy was “cool.” But that still loves George. He still, despite apparently not having the same history as Dream, desperately wants to be George's friend.

If I had to pinpoint the moment Dream changed, it would be the day that he revealed that he switched sides, and was going to be fighting against Pogtopia. He was paid for this betrayal in the Revive Book.

I mark this as the turning point in my theory because it is the first time Dream mentions his affinity for chaos in the context of hurting others. However, we also know that this likely wasn't the day he actually made the decision to betray - as he revealed that there was a traitor among the Pogtopians, a fact that he likely would have learned before this.

Now, I mark George's lore stream as the introduction of DreamXD proper, and I want that on the record because it isn't technically his first appearance on the server.

Most people will remember him from Techno's stream, where he logged on to break the End Portal in a panic. I doubt the character was properly written into the lore at that time, but it fits neatly with the rest of what we know about him - a guardian of the server, and the keeper of it's rules. No contradictions.

What less people might know, is that DreamXD has made an even earlier appearance, and it's this one where things begin to get... interesting.

Around roughly October of 2020, Tubbo and Fundy did some improv'd streams centering around Demon Hunting, or rather, "Dreamon" Hunting, and it's during the first of these two streams that DreamXD makes an appearance.

The bare bones of it was - Tubbo is an experienced "Dreamon Hunter" and teaches Fundy his ways. They find Dream, and realize that he has a Dreamon inside of him, which is basically an evil version of him. They attempt to exorcise the Dreamon from Dream via various shenanigans, and eventually, they do a ceremony to free Dream. However, they apparently botch it, and unleash the Dreamon within. After more shenanigans, one attempt to fix it utilizing Fundy and Dream's wedding appears to work, but then DreamXD logs on, flys around at Tubbo and Fundy threateningly, and they end stream on the idea that there are probably more Dreamons to hunt.

Now. There's a lot to unpack here. I'm not gonna go into the nitty gritty details in this post, but I do recommend watching the Dreamon streams, as they have A LOT of details that, if this is getting incorporated into the main story line, could be important - especially the focus on duality, having TWO versions of Dream, which end up being potentially separated from each other.

(Also, they're just really funny streams. Tubbo and Fundy are at PEAK chaos and Dream plays along with their inane bit perfectly, it's just good content.)

At the time of the Dreamon streams airing, they were explicitly non-canon. IIRC Tubbo and Fundy referred to them as taking place In an “alternate universe,” which makes sense considering they would have been on opposite sides at the time (Manburg and Pogtopia.)

However.

And this is where I show you my wall of red string and newspaper clippings.

My singular piece of evidence for this comes from one line DreamXD drops. He simply says: “At least you're not hunting me.”

The Dreamon streams take place around early October. Dream reveals his betrayal of Pogtopia around November 6th-7th. The timeline of the Dreamon streams would line up perfectly with the idea that there was a catalyzing event that put Dream on the proverbial path to hell.

I do not believe that they intended the Dreamon arc to be anything other than a side story at the time, but considering that DreamXD himself was barely canon until now, I don't think it's out of the question that they took a look back at a fan-favorite minor arc, saw an opportunity to co-opt it into the current story line, and potentially fill in some holes regarding Dream's characterization all in one move.

On the question of whether this would be a GOOD storytelling move?

The Dreamon theories were prevalent during the exile arc, and I've got to say, I was never a huge fan. The detachment of Dream's actions from his intentions, and by extension his morality, never sat right with me. It feels cheap to make him a victim and say “a Dreamon did it!” in regards to all of the horrible things that he's done. It strips his agency and makes everything that happened less impactful in my opinion, and I stand by that reading.

BUT. With DreamXD introduced, I feel like it's necessary to look at this from all angles. And with the way DreamXD was characterized in George's stream, I don't think it necessarily ruins Dream's character to say that an external force was involved with his descent into evil.

Namely, the idea that whatever happened to Dream was not really a “possession” so much as a gradual loss of humanity, could be an interesting way to look at this. It implies that Dream was always capable of his actions, but grants us understanding as to why he would actually perform them, and why he might have become isolated enough from his friends that they would let this happen.

The Dream we know now could be an expression of his “worst self” brought to the surface by a Dreamon/DreamXD/other. It also begs the question of what would happen if that force were to leave him, and how it might cause yet another shift in character, especially if it were to be portrayed as less of a switch being flipped, and more of a withdrawal, with a gradual process of realizing how far gone he was.

To close this out, I've been stewing on the idea that Dream hasn't entirely been himself since the climax of the Exile Arc.

I think this theory holds water, but it's also not waterproof... there are plenty of holes, and a lot of that comes from the fact that Dream doesn't stream. We're left in the dark when deciphering his character, and what might appear to be the key, could just as easily be revealed as a red herring, or even nothing at all.

Regardless of the validity of the Dreamon theory, I think that DreamXD is one of the most interesting developments we've had on the SMP in a long time, if simply because his arrival coincides with fucking George Lore Real. God. I still don't know how to deal with that.

I always appreciate people adding to the discussion by the way! Feel free to reblog with additions if you like or leave them in the replies.

And if a single one of you comes to my blog on THIS. THE DAY OF MY DAUGHTER'S WEDDING. And calls ME a c!Dream Apologist to MY FACE..... I will be v sad.

[lag1995-fics]

Hello!! I love how you write your stories! Is it okay if I request a story about Peter figuring out he can move/control metal while hanging out with the other x-men? And he accidentally makes them all start floating (because he's controlling the metal in their clothing) and everyone is trying to get him to calm down? Maybe even throw in some dadneto?

Hey Love ❤️ really sorry about the wait work has been a real bitch lately. I promise I haven’t forgotten any of you.

Magnetic

Pairing: mostly just dadneto but it does have a pinch of cherik because it’s canon in my mind

Words:1220

Warnings: my language but that’s about it

Summary: Peter becomes a human magnet 🧲

Masterlist

///::::///

Peter didn’t get upset often, he was the type to bottle his emotions until they exploded from the internal pressure. He had been shoving down his feelings about Erik for over ten years now and unknowingly shoving down his secondary mutation from manifesting along with said emotions. But like with all things emotions can’t be stamped out they will come out sometime if you don’t deal with them and it’s usually at the worst moment possible.

Peter’s moment came in a petty argument with Scott. Something a twenty six year old shouldn’t be doing especially with someone nearly ten years younger than them. It wasn’t even a good argument; it was over something as asinine as whether Peters silver pants were lame or not.

Peter and the kids had been chilling in one of the common areas. The kids pretty much flocked to Peter like a cool older brother. It had made him uncomfortable at first, he didn’t want to be that guy who hung out with teenagers. Adults that hung out with kids were weird, he was much more comfortable hanging out with Raven. He just wished she would drop the whole you should talk to your dad thing.

“Nice pants” Scott had scoffed at the speedster who only raised his eyebrow at the kid.

“Thank you, I spray painted them myself,” Peter informed him, his eyes twinkling. This only seemed to piss off Scott even more, he wanted to argue and it seemed like Peter wasn’t having it.

“Oh we can all see that” Scott scoffed and Peter felt a small thread of irritation run through him. Scott was notoriously a shit stirrer and liked to get under people’s skin.

“Nobody likes a bully, Scott,” Jean said without looking up from the copy of Hamlet she was reading. Scott looked properly chastised after being called out by his girlfriend. Peter knew that wouldn’t keep his mouth shut long.

“Yell nobody likes looking at a metallic eyesore” Scott laughed and Peter could feel his irritation building up. Jean huffed and got up just in time to drag scot away. It was too late though the emotions had already started to bubble up and instead of word vomit all the loose metal in the room started to levitate.

Once the objects were floating they started shooting towards Peter causing him to make a very “manly” squeal of surprise. Jean and Scott who had been in the doorway about to exit stopped to stare.

“What the hell” he yelled, unable to unstick any of the metal that had become attached to his person. Peter could feel the panic and anxiety start to build up which only threw his new found powers even more out of control. He tried shaking at superspeed to get the metal to fall off.

“I’m gonna go get the professor” Kurt declared with wide eyes when he saw that Peter was not in control. Kurt was gone with a bamf up to the professor’s study. Unfortunately for Peter or some might say it was fortunate, his father Erik happened to be up there playing chess with the professor.

***

*BAMF*

Erik blinked in surprise when the blue child teleported directly into Charles’ study. His surprise quickly turned to irritation, he was reminded again that this was a school and there would be no peace. His irritation then turned to slight guilt when he saw Charles’ worried face.

“What is wrong my boy?” Charles asked the nervous blue child. He couldn’t be more than 15, still all gangly limbs and awkward stares.

“It’s Peter, everything is sticking to him!” The frazzled teenager yelped. Erik felt an inexplicable rush of concern for the silver haired mutant. He had grown to like the boy in the brief time that he had known him.

“Kurt would you be kind enough to take us to Peter” Charles’ voice sounded right like he knew something and wasn’t sharing the information. Kurt nodded, taking each of the men’s arms. With a bamf the three were in one of the common rooms.

Erik for all that he had seen in his life could honestly say he had never been more stunned. There standing by the sofa was Peter covered in metal odds and ends looking completely miserable with a teaspoon stuck to his cheek. Erik stared mouth agape at the sight before him.

“It seems Peter has manifested a secondary mutation” Charles' voice brought Erik out of his stunned stupor. Peter, who had only just noticed the two new arrivals turned lobster red with embarrassment and began frantically shaking his limbs trying to dislodge the metal from his person.

“Peter, you need to calm down, only that will free the metal, Charles' voice cut through the chaos. Peter froze resembling a child with their hand caught in the cookie tin.

“Students please clear the room please,” he continued and the students dutifully filed out of the room leaving just Peter, Charles and Erik. Erik took the time that Peter was standing still to study the boy with his new knowledge. He hadn’t noticed before, his shock of silver hair and loud clothing drew one's eye away from his facial features. Peter had a very familiar face, he had Magda’s smile. He also had Erik’s nose and his Mama’s eyes. Erik was floored how he could have missed something so glaringly obvious.

Peter was his child, his adult child. He had missed out on his child’s entire life. He refused to miss a minute more he would be there for Peter no matter what, the Brotherhood be damned. Nothing came before his family, not even mutant kind.

Peter was following Charles' instructions , breathing in deep and holding them before letting them out. Slowly the bits of metal began to drop from Peter’s body.

“That’s it Peter, find your happiest memory” Erik suggested, coming to lay a hand on the boy’s shoulder. Peter’s breathing stuttered at the physical contact but quickly evened out again. It took Erik and Charles another fifteen minutes but soon Peter was completely calm and a pile of metal lay at his feet.

“Peter, can we talk?” Erik asked, Peter’s eyes went wide but he nodded. Charles excused himself without a word and Erik made a mental note to confront his lover about keeping things from him.

“So...what did you want to talk about?” Peter asked laughing nervously as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“You said something to me ten years ago, with the chaos I didn’t have time to give it thought,” Erik started and Peter made an audible gulping noise in the back of his throat.

“Huh? Did I, about karate I think?” Peter deflected, uncomfortable with the building tension.

“No Peter, I think you know what I’m referring to. You mentioned something about your mother knowing someone who could bend metal.” Erik stated pointedly but not unkindly.

“Uh yeah” he rubbed even more furiously at the back of his neck.

“Yes and now you are experiencing a secondary metallokinesis mutation. Tell me Peter, was your mother’s name Magda?” He asked and Peter could feel all the emotional walls he had built crumble.

“Yes” Peter answered looking anywhere but at his father. That’s why he didn’t see it coming when he was suddenly wrapped in Erik’s long armed embrace.

As always thank you for reading. Feel free to drop an ask.

[lluvguts]

Cool Blue ; Chapter Six

⤹⋆⸙͎۪۫｡˚۰˚☽˚⤹⋆⸙͎۪۫｡˚۰˚☽˚⤹⋆⸙͎۪۫｡˚

a heart could come so undone

⤹⋆⸙͎۪۫｡˚۰˚☽˚⤹⋆⸙͎۪۫｡˚۰˚☽˚⤹⋆⸙͎۪۫｡˚

☽ warnings: internalized homophobia

☽ fic masterlist

☽ a/n: thank you all so much for 2k hits on ao3! this all means so much to me and it really empowers me to continue with this story, even if i don't want to at times :) i would really appreciate any of my tumblr readers to go and leave a kudos or a comment just to tell me if you liked it, and make me smile <3 my ao3

⤹⋆⸙͎۪۫｡˚۰˚☽˚⤹⋆⸙͎۪۫｡˚۰˚☽˚⤹⋆⸙͎۪۫｡˚

Alberto was a storm quietly brewing beneath a thin façade of calm. His pinched brow and  frown being the only signs of his mulling, his stewing, as the sun beat with ruthless fervor down across his back, already peeling and burnt, while he rowed back to Portorosso. To the real world. A life that made sense, one filled with humans and cars and houses, a bustling busy that progressed as the town woke up.

One that wasn't made for him.

He looked back to the island as he pushed the oars roughly in front of him, rowing back, and grimaced without thinking at the crumbling tower at its top. Signora Aragosta had told him that island belonged to her and her beloved, a haven for a young girl and her sea monster to sit and talk and discover themselves. He had stood in the remains of that tower, only hours before speeding down the steep, grassy slope of the island to Luca, his sea monster, and observed what little traces of their lives that were left. Children's books with frayed spines (when Signora Aragosta had told Alberto she'd taught her how to read) cracked flower pots with their centers hollowed out and small inscriptions Alberto could carefully trace on the convex cobblestones of the tower wall. Writings, words and phrases and, Alberto realized with a flush of heat, love poems that her Concetta had scribbled in messy, mostly-faded scrawl along the stones. But there were other parts of the tower, less beautiful signs of aging. Mounds of tree branches and rubble dusted over the tower floor, where time and bad seasons had caused parts of the inner walls to cave in. Sunlight drifting through the insides, illuminating those professions of love along the walls and warming Alberto's toes until he had to pull them away to stop thinking about it.

She said that they loved that place...so why did they abandon it so quickly? It was a different time then, Alberto must have known, but even still the sea folk and the human world were unable to coexist--let alone love each other.

His muscles gripped and shuddered in his stomach involuntarily and Alberto clenched the oars to keep his lips from trembling.

Then again, Alberto mused with little humor as he continued to row and glare into the waves, she had said a lot of things, but none of her comforting words had prepared him for what had really happened.

At this time in the afternoon the waters were calm, just a lazy caress on the boat's sides like old lovers and cast dim reflections of the sun in alternating lines of cyan along Alberto's forearms. The gentle waves were endless, if Alberto looked down he didn't think about his face staring back at him but rather what was beneath the surf, or more so who.

Was what Luca had done, what he had said, the same as those words on the tower walls?

His behavior was so...animal. It wasn't like him. But did Alberto truly know what to expect from someone that wasn't human?

Something landed into the ocean with an inaudible plink and Alberto saw in the reflection of the deep waters that he was crying. He hated himself for what he had felt, only an hour earlier. Absolutely dreaded thinking over it.

Luca's touch, so curious and bashful in the beginning. That was normal, that was something Alberto could understand. He had only grinned at their playful banter back and forth, like they'd used to. But as soon as he'd let his stupid fingers wander just to touch Luca's scales he knew every second after that moment was going to happen much too fast.

Alberto didn't even know what he was doing at the time, or why he chose to torture Luca like that. The boy was whimpering at his hands on him and had practically collapsed into Alberto's lap, so obviously it was only fair that Luca had freaked out and went full on sea monster. All he heard in his ear were Luca's uneven breaths mixed with his own, and the warm press of his teeth on his neck, with just a trace of saliva from Luca's tongue.

His stomach twisted at the memory, making his legs ache and that dull throb return in his shorts.

"Damn it," Alberto huffed, closing his eyes tightly and breathing through his teeth.

Alberto didn't know what he meant himself, when he pushed Luca off of him either. His own reaction to the touches had surprised him so thoroughly that he was afraid of what would have happened if he'd let it continue, and let Luca's words sink into his brain and maybe his skin, too.

Portorosso was fast approaching, and Alberto hopped off one side of the boat, tugging it along in the shallow waves to moor it to the dock. He tied the ropes in haste and bit his tongue when the old cord rubbed painfully along his already-sore palms.

"'Berto! You idiota! You couldn't hide from me for long!"

Alberto jumped at the voice, immediately thinking of Ercole, but as he looked up from his raw hands he only saw Giulia above him at the metal railing, waving her arms around.

"I wasn't hiding from you!" Alberto called up. "I was...out doing something!"

His word choice made him cringe. Giulia narrowed her expectant brown eyes and reached out a hand once Alberto had walked up the stone incline to greet him. But instead of a hug, Giulia used Alberto's hand clasped in her own to hold him steady and slap his cheek.

"Shit! What was that for?" Alberto cursed, freeing his hand in a jerk and pressing it to his hot cheek.

"For keeping secrets from me! Papa told me all about your girlfriend!" Giulia was near-shouting, and a few people wandering the streets turned. Alberto's face reddened another degree, if the handprint left by Giulia wasn't enough to show for it.

"She's not my girlfriend, Giulia!" Alberto spat. He craned his neck over at the boat just to double check then followed her down the seaside railing to their house.

"So what, you made up a fake girlfriend then to fool Papa? Is that it, Alberto?" Giulia looked at her brother out of the corner of her eye, smiling to herself. Her tone was light, so Alberto had no need to worry that she was being serious...probably.

Alberto spluttered. "Why would I lie to Papa? When have I ever lied to you or him, ever?" His heart was beating at a frantic pace in his chest, and if Giulia saw the sweat on the back of his neck he was done for.

"Let's see," Giulia stuck her tongue between her teeth, then counted off her fingers. "You lied about the orders that one time just so Papa let you go play soccer in the courtyard...you lie about your chores all the time. I think the amount of times he lets you get away with it is worse though."

"I do not lie about my chores! How can I lie about those when he sees the numbers every evening?"

Giulia swatted the air, and then actually swatted at Alberto, before letting out a shriek.

"Oh! Did I tell you that Luna, Machiavelli's mistress, is going to have kittens!" She splayed her hands out in front of her to emphasize the excitement, and it was just like her to lose her focus even if it was originally about teasing her own brother.

Alberto shrugged. "Papa isn't going to like it."

"Papa will come around in time, fratello. Besides, Luna's owner was very...understanding."

"Oh?"

Giulia nodded, her cheeks were flushed from her anger and the summer sun, but instantly darkened. "Yeah. There's a girl who lives a few houses across from us, by the Gelataria with her aunt. We met last week, but I saw her again this morning when her cat was looking for Machiavelli, but he was pent up in your room, cause you're stupid and left the door closed."

"Machi actually likes my room, unlike yours." Alberto said indignantly.

"I wouldn't call that liking. I think he tolerates being around you because you feed him."

"Ugh, Giulia! Stop changing the subject and just tell me about this stupid girl and her cat!"

Giulia flung out her hand and punched Alberto in the gut. "She is not stupid. She's...she's..." She trailed off, looking at the sand stuck between the stones beneath her sandals.

"Lovely."

"Giulia, you're blushing."

"Yeah, so?" She countered, glaring up at Alberto with her cheeks a deep rouge. "She's pretty. But you wouldn't understand...I don't think, um, Papa would approve if I liked her. As more than, you know. A neighbor."

Alberto felt so relieved he could cry. But he laughed instead, a short nervous giggle that dissolved into a long, airy chuckle that came from deep within his tightly-wound heart.

"What's so funny, hmm?: Giulia, despite her height, tried to size Alberto up by shoving his shoulder and leaning forward to get into his space. "Y'know, I wouldn't have told you if you were just going to laugh at me."

"No, Giulia! This, this is perfect!" Alberto didn't know exactly what he was doing, but all of his previous tension ebbed away as he took Giulia's hands and squeezed them with glee in his own.

"Me having un cotta with the girl across the street?" Giulia frowned at him.

"God, no." Alberto laughed, bringing his sister closer to look into her eyes and make sure she was listening. "Lucia isn't...uh, she's not, she's not a girl."

Giulia's light eyebrows were pulled low at that, as she curled her lip up in confusion and stared at Alberto's face. "What do you mean? Lucia can't not be a girl, her name is...oh....Oh. Alberto! You really were lying to Papa!"

He figured that was enough confirmation of Giulia's understanding and nodded slowly. She placed her palm where she'd slapped him and rubbed her thumb along the welt, breaking her gaze away to think.

"For once, I think I'm okay with you lying," Giulia mused. "But just this one time, Alberto! And I mean it! You'll have to make up for it by letting me meet him. What's his name, anyway?"

"You didn't tell me her name, so why should I tell you his?" They were standing outside the gate of their backyard, but Alberto stood in the way of the latch and beamed down smugly at Giulia.

"It adds mystery, alright big guy? Maybe I like that you don't know her name. Then you won't tease me about it."

"Fine then. I won't tell you Luca's name either."

Giulia beamed. "Luca! What a beautiful name! I bet he's very handsome, Alberto."

He bit his tongue and jammed one free hand into his pants pocket.

"N-No! I didn't say anything," Alberto gasped and clamped his hand over Giulia's mouth. "Don't tell Papa okay? I'm not...I don't think I'm ready."

Giulia licked Alberto's palm with a devilish grin and he groaned in disgust and pulled back.

"That's okay, I'm not really ready either." Giulia grabbed Alberto's slobbery hand and guided them into the side yard, swinging their arms.

So pretty...you smell so good, Alberto.

He almost stopped in his tracks, but Giulia was pulling them along so he trailed behind her, attached by their intertwined hands.

Luca's tail had twined around Alberto's ankle in such a quick and demanding way he felt his breath catch.

Please. I need you.

The words still trickled through his head, and soon the phantom feelings returned too. Cool scales dripping in sea water soon replaced by the feeling that Luca was burning up, swallowed whole by his own desperate pleas and touches.

"You okay, Alberto?" Giulia had stepped into the house, but Alberto's feet were pressed to the stone steps, unmoving. He thought that he could hover here at the threshold of the doorway with Luca's scent still lingering on his skin and the immense weight of odd passion forever, just so he didn't forget. Was this what Signora Aragosta had talked about when she first knew? When she first knew?

Alberto shook his head for Giulia, smiling and apologizing. "Yeah, we're good."

[liliesoftherain]

My Hero Academia Main 3 Boys x Reader

Ch. 18 Code Names

A/N: Guess who’s back... back again.. shady’s back.. tell a friend- But really! Hey guys! I bet none of y’all missed me, but I deeply missed you.

So this is a little rant so you can 100% skip this and read the story! Enjoy! 

Anyways, I kinda stopped talking to everyone I met here on tumblr, and that makes me really sad. I mean, I have no one to blame but myself, but now that I’m in a better place, I hope things can go back to normal, so, @pocket-is-obsessed​ @pinky-the-elephant-room​ @sunnieskies02​ , and everyone else, I’m sorry. I love y’all, and I miss y’all.

Masterlist

If anyone wants to be added to the taglist, or if I missed you, please send an ask and I’ll add you!!

TAGLIST(ANY BOLD-I CANNOT TAG YOU FRO WHATEVER REASON): @rizamendoza808​ !(: @iris-suoh​ !(: @quicksilverfangirl​ !(: @shortperson202​ !(: @noodlenerd101​ !(: @matchamidoriya​ !(: @thorsbtch-captainnoobmaster69me !(: @pastel-prynce​ !(: @sunkissedneptune​ @monetfatalia​ !(: @legit-fandom-trash​ !(: @lovethewitchofendor​ !(: @dekuxlink !(: @water-melone98​ !(: @helena-way07​ !(: @nothing17-7​​ !(: @hopelessdisasterr​​ !(: @karmaboundlife​ !(: @lunamoonmint​ !(: @ihatemyselftoinfinityandbeyond​​ !(: @beew​​ !(: @kaylees1414  !(: @axerrri​​ !(: @icythotsenpai​​ !(: @iwantapoptartqwq​ !(: @acehyacinth​ !(:  @sspidermanss​ !(:  @httpswwwtbhkcom​ !(:  @omgthatonenerd06​ !(:  @mochicheeks-world !(:  @gvthic-gvrl​ !(:  @jinxed-egg​ !(:  @themagical1sa​ !(:  @cherriomilkmangos​ !(:  @1-800-schmacked​ !(:  @human-watching-ads-from-devildom​ !(:  

The following days were spent resting up, allowing your body to heal from the taxing day you endured; any cuts or bruises that had managed to slip pass Recovery Girl were now reduced to nothing but a memory. Monday came by, quicker than you hoped, and you were on the train headed towards the school grounds. You basked in the steady hum of the engine, watching the scenery fly by, until the area around you began to break out into murmurs.

 “That’s Hakamata, isn’t it?”

“Best Jeanist’s daughter!”

“She won third place at the sports festival, it’s amazing!”

“Oh wow!”

“Hey, good job at the festival! I totally knew you were going to hit it big!”

“You were so close to winning!”

“Good luck!”

“Keep working!”

Exiting the train with a wave, you sigh in relief. While it left your heart fluttering with pride at the praises and recognition, it was still overwhelming to have so many people talking about you, to you, at once.

You arrived at the school gates, quickly rushing inside, shaking your umbrella off as you broke it down. You quickly grab what you need from your locker, placing your umbrella with the others before heading off to your classroom. 

Pushing the door open, you smile at the conversations that were going on--everyone seemed to be in high spirits, and you missed the rambunctious energy of your friends. 

“Hakamata!-” Denki was grinning and waving excitedly, turning to look at you as you sat down, “How was it coming to school this morning? I bet a lot of people noticed you! Isn’t it great how we’ve all been thrown into the spotlight after just a few days, huh?”

“I guess, it’s nothing much really. We should all be proud of how far we’ve gotten huh?”

“Of course! 1-A is awesome! Only 1-A kids took any of the top spots after all!”

Your attention is stolen as the door opens, catching the eyes of the boy who had been on your mind all weekend. Todoroki blinked at your stare, only for your eyes to be forced away as Kaminari demanded your attention on something. You struggle to focus, nodding along as you desperately try to make his words have meaning--since your thoughts drifted towards your last encounter.

“Aizawa-sensei, your bandages are gone!”

“Oh, I’m so happy!”

Your eyes snap to the front of the room, seeing your teacher--looking way better than he had previously. He looked as if nothing had ever happened, the only indication being the freshly made scar residing under his eye.

“Yes, they are. Thanks. However, more importantly, we’re having a special hero informatics class today…”

Silence hung in the air, each student desperately trying to figure out what could possibly be going on--a pop quiz, maybe?

“You all need code names.”

The class shouted in relief and excitement, only to have Aizawa glare at the noise. You all quieted down immediately, one menacing look from your teacher was all it took. Once settled, he explained further on the subject: how the code names worked, about the internships, and how these offers weren’t normally given to first years such as yourselves. 

“Here, the offers…” 

Aizawa clicked a remote, causing a holographic image to appear on the board, showing how many hero agencies put in offers for each student. The first three statistics were large, the rest of them dropping drastically from the thousands, to a few hundred and less. 

You see your name as the second highest ranking, shocking you, beating the first-place festival winner by more than 50 whole offers. 

“Normally the offers are more spread out, but this year all eyes were on these three.”

“Gah, there’s such a big difference!”

“Todoroki is first, Hakamata is second, and Bakugou is third…?”

“How is that, when Bakugou was the winner?”

“Seems the scores are the opposite of the sports festival rankings.”

“Guess some people may be too scared to ask a guy who had to be chained to his podium.”

“HAH!? What are the pros scared of!?” Bakugou whipped around, glaring at Sero for his comment. 

Ignoring the loud outburst, you glance behind you at Todoroki, who looked as unbothered as ever at the fact he had the most offers. You give him a small smile as your eyes once again connect, just as they did right before the start of class, and he--surprisingly--returns the gesture. 

“Despite these results, you’ll all be interning with pros. Offers or not.”

“So, we can all intern?”

“Yes. Seeing as you guys have had combat with real villains--thanks to the USJ incident. We believe it will be beneficial to see real pros up close, on the field, and to do that…”

“We need hero names!”

“Yes. They may be temporary, but take them seriously or--”

“THERE WILL BE HELL TO PAY LATER!”

Aizawa was cut off by the sudden shout, the door followed by slamming open, stealing everyone’s attention. He sighed as the risque pro hero Midnight sauntered inside, smirking at the attention that fell upon her. 

“Midnight is going to have final approval over your names,” your teacher starts, pulling up his sleeping bag, “It’s not my forte--but just remember, the name you give yourself represents what kind of hero you want to be. It’s important.”

What kind of hero I want to be, huh?

You were handed a stack of white cardstocks, passing the remainders back as you grabbed one for yourself. It seemed like a normal, blank canvas, but you saw it as a gateway to your future as a hero. You remember all the times you tried on different hero names--mostly different variations of your fathers, even if now you cringed at the memories. 

You knew your hero name was important and necessary, a name to prove to the world who you were and what you were capable of. 

‘Your hero name is supposed to represent your desires-- to allow you to become your ideal self. What kind of hero do you want to prove yourself to be, or better yet, just--who are you?’

You take a deep breath, taking comfort in your father’s words as you write down your name…

“Now students, who is ready to share?”

You watch the students go up one-by-one; cringing slightly at the--extravagant--name Aoyama had chosen from himself, feeling bad for Mina as she was sent back to her desk to rethink, and giddy at the cute name Tsu had picked. The rest of the names went by alright until Todoroki had gone up to present his hero name.

“Shoto.”

“Oh,” Midnight blinked in surprise, “just your name?”

“Yeah.”

You frown slightly, Shoto hadn’t looked up, choosing to stare down at the podium with a blank expression instead. You watch as he trudged his way back to his desk, still no eye contact towards anyone as he sat down. Biting your lip, you try to shake the image from your mind. He had his reasons, and you didn’t have to know them. 

“Jet Black Hero: Tsukuyomi!”

“Oh, God of the Night! I love it!”

You snap your attention back towards the front, giving a small clap to Tokoyami as he presents his name. He bows at the class before sitting down.

Mineta and Koda present their names, both very fitting and true to their image. You felt yourself grow the tad bit eager as Bakugou was the next one to present his name.

‘I wonder what it could be? He excels in just about everything, he must have a really cool hero name picked out-’

“KING EXPLOSION MURDER.”

The name wasn’t what got you, it was the serious look on his face as he said it that did. You slap a hand over your mouth, snickering as quietly as you could into your palm. You weren’t the only one holding back giggles, Eijiro, Sero, and Kaminari doing the same. 

“Um, I’m going to have to say that one is too violent.”

“Hah!? Whaddya mean-”

“Why don’t you be Explosion Boy instead!” Eijiro suggests.

“Nah, he should be Grenades!” You chime in, a smirk on your face as you mimic his gauntlets.

“Or what about ‘BOOM PSH BAWHH’, you know, explosion noises!” Denki laughs.

“How would you even spell that-”

“SHUT UP ALL OF YOU, OR I’LL SHOW YOU WHY MURDER SHOULD BE IN MY NAME!” Bakugou interrupts, a scowl on his face as he yells at the three of you.

“Maybe your hero name should be ‘Anger Issues’, it’s fitting, dontcha think-”

You were cut off by a growl from Bakugou, his face morphing into pure anger as he points straight at you.

“BRING IT, GLOW WORM! I BET YOUR HERO NAME IS GOING TO BE CRAPPY.”

You say nothing in return, standing up and making your way towards the podium, giving him a teasing smile as you got close enough.

“Go sit down and maybe you’ll see.”

“Good idea, go sit down and rethink your name a bit, Bakugou.” Midnight agrees, clapping her hands to diffuse the tension. 

He grumbles on the way back to his desk, and you just face the class with a sheepish grin. 

“Well, here’s what I want to be--who I will be; Luminary!”

You picked a name like Luminary because you wanted to prove that you were more than just another person; you wanted to be the guiding light, leading people to justice, leading people to their hope. Maybe you weren’t there yet, you did have a long way to go before you could be considered a pro, but that doesn’t mean you weren’t going to try. 

You’d be the light, shining in the darkness, for all others to see and follow. 

“Oh how sweet, you’ll be a very inspiring hero, I’m sure!” 

You shyly smile at the applauds, only for the demeanor to change, a smirk growing as you see Bakugou roll his eyes and look away.

Checkmate.

After a few more people presenting, Izuku shakily stands at the podium, taking a deep breath before showing his cardstock.

Blinking in surprise, you zone in on the singular word on the card, raising an eyebrow questioningly at the boy. 

“Really Midoriya?”

“Are you sure about that?”

“Yeah man, remember that can be your name forever.”

“Right,” He looks down, “I used to hate it, but then something changed… I guess, someone taught me that it could have a different meaning, and that had a huge impact on how I felt about it. So now, I like it!”

You smile wide as he makes direct eye contact, giving him a nod of encouragement. 

“Deku, that has to be my code name!”

-----

“Now that that’s all done, we can go back to talking about the upcoming internships. They are a week long, and as to who you’ll be interning with; if you were on the board, you will choose from one of the offers you were given, as for everyone else, you’ll be choosing from a different list.”

The lists were handed out as soon as the bell rang overhead, signaling the end of the first half of the day, and the beginning of lunch.

“I wanna fight crime and bad guys in a big city!” Kirishima grinned, eyes taking in every name on his sheet of paper.

“I just hope I can intern at a place where there’s a lot of water!” Tsu sighed.

“Turn in your choices before the weekend.” 

“We’ve only got two days!?”

“Yeah, so you better figure it out. Dismissed for lunch.”

Aizawa shut the door as he and Midnight walked out, leaving the class to class among themselves. 

You read down the list, sighing in defeat as you had multiple papers of agencies stapled together. You should feel grateful, and you do, but there were too many places to choose from! Plus, you were probably just going to end up interning with your dad--

You pause as you read a specific agency, blinking before rereading it to make sure you weren’t seeing things. You weren’t, because right there in bold lettering:

“Endeavor Hero Agency”

What could Endeavor possibly want you to intern with him for?

Taking a look around the room you see most of your classmates breaking off into groups--some heading for the mess hall, and others staying in their seats. You spot Todoroki as he walks out the door.

“Ne, (y/n), what agency are you thinking of-”

“Sorry Eijiro, I’ll talk to you later,” You smile apologetically, standing up to race after the boy--not feeling the few pairs of eyes on your body as you leave.

“Todoroki, wait up!” 

He turns to you, confusion in his eyes but waits for you nonetheless. You stop in front of him, clutching onto the list you had brought with you.

“Yes?” His voice was vacant of emotion, and while it was normal, it made you feel nervous. 

“Uh, sorry, I just have something to tell you.” 

He tilts his head, an indicator for you to continue, and you take a deep breath before presenting him the paper. His eyes search the words, bewildered as he tries to understand what you were trying to show him. Pointing at the hero agency you knew he was familiar with, you see how his eyes widen ever so slightly. 

“Endeavor made me an offer…”

“I see.”

“Well, I just wanted to say I won’t-”

“You should take it.”

Your brows furrow, taken aback by his statement. 

“What?”

He hands you back your list, looking straight into your eyes with a small flame of determination. 

“You should take it. It’s a great opportunity to be working with the number two hero.” 

“I was going to go for my dad, who still is in the top five, you know.” You respond, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Oh,” Todoroki’s eyes widen once more, “sorry. I didn’t mean to say your father... he is a great hero. I just… I may hate my father, but I know working with the number two hero will provide some benefits. His agency is pretty good with things like rescue and evacuation, along with battle. It’s a good opportunity, something different than what you see every day at your father’s own agency. Isn’t it good to want to get a new perspective on things? To take these ideas you learn, and make them your own, I guess?”

You’re unsure of what to say, agreeing with the boy internally as his gaze falls towards the ground.

“I know I want to be a better hero than my old man. I want to be seen as someone not in his shadow, not ‘Endeavors son’. And if that means I have to put up with him for a week, so be it. I’ll learn to be better, I swear it.”

“Um,” You rub your arm shyly, “so that means you’ll be interning with him, then?”

Todoroki nods in response.

“Well, I suppose that means I’ll see you there. If, um, if you’re okay with that.”

“Yea, I am.”

You smile, and a spark of emotion floods through his eyes as he mirrors your expression, and it somehow makes you relax. He was completely right; he had said everything you had ever thought about yourself, how you wanted to prove that you were more than just a daughter of a great hero. That you were a great hero yourself. 

With that in mind, you had no regrets as you turned in your list--even if it was Endeavors Agency.

You’d be ready.

[btswishes]

Love me for who I am now

Bucky x Reader ( Chapter 3)

Previous / Next (4)

Summary: You apply for the Stark internship and end up getting it, so now you have 5 months to make a good impression to continue working with the Avengers.

A/N: Ok Chapter 3 here we go, things are moving 10 000+ words later XD. Sorry for any mistakes made, hope you enjoy it even a tiny bit.

Word count:  3,997

Warmings: fights, harsh language, not part of the original MCU

Y/N- Your name

Y/L/N- Your Last Name

Tag list: @vicmc624​

                                    ----------------------------

   Two men dressed in dark fancy suits helped Captain America sit on the bench next to Dr. Banner, while one more presumably, also an agent rolled in 2 stretchers. From the voices you could distinguish Natasha Romanoff and Sergeant James Barnes. Not too far, with a confidant step followed Tony Stark keeping the splint around his left hand, covered slightly by the expensive material of his jacket - throw casually over his shoulders. Poor Pepper having her husband come home almost dead all the time- must be just awful.

“What happened?” Bruce barked out intensely checking Natasha in a hastily manner, making sure there wasn’t anything too major

 “HYDRA fed us the wrong information, long story short caught the link in time and no one died.” Tony explained, pulling a squished protein bar from the inside of his pant pocket

“I almost saw the light for a second time Tony.” Captain hissed when you began disinfecting his wounds, reacting to the cold cooling yet irritating feeling of the clear liquid on the cotton ball.

“I am sure that was the explosion.” Natasha snickered at the blond man. ”Next time don’t look at it, ok?” One after the other injured agents flooded the lab making motion difficult. Most of the equipment was on the other end of the packed room. Talking and a mix of incoherent sounds filled your head, causing you to go into overdrive. You had no idea how people could work in such an environment. Hospital work was part of your curriculum, as weird as it sounded, since you were dabbling in human body functions. Even there you never had so many people on your head, there was order- obviously lacking here.

  Some were very badly injured, near-death was a correct way to say it, but for sure not 90%. Looking around you couldn’t find a shorter way towards the bandages and irrigation solution. Tables and people were placed like chess pieces in a game you were losing because of panic. Tony kept his eyes on you, biting down on the crumpling snack, waiting to see what you would do. It could have been all a test for what you knew, yet it flew over your head.

“Dr. Banner.” You yelled out patching up the Cap and moving onto one of the stretchers “Can you pass me the small bag behind you please?” he nodded and did it all without even taking a look away from Natasha’s wounds. Professional or just slightly overconfident?

  Rising your right hand you caught the bag making its way towards you. The flap flung open and you pulled out the 4 bottles of vibranium dust onto the table, right next to you. A hair tie emerged from the same place shortly after. Bucky looked up at the changing expression on your face, interested in silence maybe also in a bit of pain. Your fingers raked up your scalp, gathering as much hair as possible to imprison with the elastic. Tony ever so silent but focused, a good judge of character.

  The lids of the bottles rolled onto the desk, discarded without a thought. Your hands cupped all of them and spilling piles of metallic dust on the floor. Stark rose an eyebrow and stopped chewing for a second. Taking a deep breath the oxygen gathered all your thoughts into an anxiety suppressing pill, shooting in waves through your bloodstream. You didn’t waste any time, your eyelids swung up letting your lashes almost hit your brows. Both your elbows bent in, positioning themselves next to your waist line snugly. You could feel your back muscles clench and tighten before extending. They shot your arms to the sides, dust cloud forming two plates pushing agents to the side. 

“SILANCE!” the room granted your wish, even the atoms could be heard moving with the shock engulfing the field “This is a lab NOT a playground! If you are able to cause such ruckus you aren’t hurt enough to be here. If any of you insist on doing this, I will give you a reason to scream. If you are patched up leave! Got a paper cut or bruise- leave! Unless you crawl to me, I don’t want to see you.” hunched over your body didn’t move from its metal bending pose, arms spread like a bird in flight, eyes looking forward “Now, out.” the words vibrated fearless in your throat

  It wasn’t surprising that almost all people in black suits left in a rush, accept some that were actually getting treated from the mission. Sergeant Barnes was still laying on the stretcher waiting for his turn, taken back from the scene that unraveled above him. Almost in a Dr. Strange hand motion you pulled the vibranium back.

  The silence continued making your confidence evaporate and let the anxiety condensate back into you. Eyes roaming around the room till a loud and audible clap pulled the strings of your head towards it. Tony was doing his best not to mess his arm up more, but to him this deserved praise.

“Well done Miss inter, I am pleasantly surprised with your actions…” his footsteps creeped up, letting his body lean onto Bucky’s current bed, ignoring the man’s grunt of discomfort “…and that.” his finger made circles pointing at your arms covered with the metallic dust shaped slightly like a gauntlet

“It’s amazing isn’t it?” Banner, back still facing the rest of the room, scoffed proud like a father witnessing his child’s grades 

“You know about it?” Tony crushed up the plastic of the protein bar, tossing it in the trash in the corner of the room

“Yeah.” The doctor was finishing up with Natasha “We were actually talking about that with her before you rushed in. I was lucky enough to get a special demonstration as well.”

“So what is it Miss intern ?” his head tilted, showing a new angle of his goatee

  It didn’t take you long to notice that the sergeant couldn’t get up because he was shot pretty badly. Your desk had turned into a makeshift surgical table with all kinds of things on it - soon to be used. One of the gauntlets flew off your soft skin and pulled up the soldier like he was made of feathers. The wound seemed to be closing up fast, the super serum did give him abnormal healing. This was proof that not everything is a good thing. The bullet was still lodged inside his body, which wasn’t the optimal place for foreign matter.

“It’s vibranium dust. I am sure Mr. Stark knows about it. It was in my application papers.” You began disinfecting the area, applying a small dose of lidocaine onto the open cut, just to numb it as much as possible. Somehow you didn’t want this man to feel any more pain that he already had endured, past or present moment.

“You did, about it being inside the body not throwing it like the pissed off Sand man.” The ever so playful with words Tony ladies and gentlemen 

“I might have skipped one or two parts, but they were something I was experimenting with on the side and not on the subject I was offering.” The vibranium took the elegant shape of a sharp scalpel. With a light hand, the pressure made the blade disappear into Bucky’s skin, making a big enough incision. Tweezers fit inside snugly, pulling out the bullet that looked almost destroyed in his body. “ This batch is under my willful control.”

“Transmitter?” Tony’s eyes went over your whole body trying to find something, still consciously making a mental mark, on the little knife you manifested from basically a pile of metal “Doesn’t look like they are voice triggered .”

“The only transmitter is my brain waves.” Placing your fingers over a cup of rubbing alcohol, you dropped in the tweezers and the scalpel, now turned into the same shiny mass as it was originally in its own jar “ Quantum engineered with quarks made from my own tissues.”

“Ssss.” The hissing sound that came out from in-between Tony’s teeth as he took a sharp breath in, send chills down his own back “Masochist aren’t you. Hey, we don’t kink shame here sweetie, don’t worry.” A playful wink flew towards you “Y/N right?” your head nodded, hands putting things in their original place, trying to give the room back its original look “Nice nice. Welcome to the team, glad to have you. Seems like you chose Banner to start off your training. I am deeply offended .” a big hand grabbed onto the fabric over his heart, in the most theatrical way possible “Most people go for the playboy billionaire. I guess not everyone has good taste, don’t worry I will fix it.” 

“Excuse me?” training? Well that definitely was NOT in the list of activities for you internship “Ugh…”

“Sweet cheeks, you didn’t thought I would give access to Avengers information just like that to an intern?” he scoffed at exactly what you were thinking. The rest of the members were observing the situation from the sidelines. It wasn’t yet their time to jump in.

“Look.” His thigh went over the desk, sitting half way onto it, head crooked at you. Tony was focused on the ever so slightly changing lines of your face. He wasn’t the only one holding a breath in in expectation “I went over you application, I was taken back by your idea. It was so outside the box I am kinda jelly I didn’t come up with it. Some more digging here and there... turns out joining my university was done on a whim - second shot to the heart sweetie.” his fingers back onto his chest next to the reactor core “ Lack of history before that, no future ambitions whatsoever. Heck -” Tony’s body slid off the hard flat surface, fixing the jacket slipping off his shoulder. His back was facing you as he began walking towards the exit “ Even your professors were worried about you- gave them a lil call. I just saw a bright cookie I wanted, so I got you.” With a sideways, look he smirked almost like a cat playing with a mouse

“And I plan to keep you here one way or the other, so I offer you this.” Arms spread sideways, garment now resting on the floor, gathering the dust and dirt from all the shoes in here previously “Training, knowledge and access to tech you would never have even in university or the government. Your choice. Become someone who you used to look up to, or go back after the end of your internship.”

  Your eyes moved from the floor, slowly towards his jacket, over it and straight up his body. The breath lodged inside your throat began moving in and out unnoticeable. The two super soldiers could practically hear you inhaling a storm around yourself and Natasha read your body language. To all of them you were as simple as an open brochure. Tony knew, he was just waiting for the moment you crack under. You were but a pile of clay with astonishing properties, ready to be turned into anything.

“I did apply to Stark university as a last choice. BUT! I applied to this internship for the sole reason of doing nothing but the best to build up a reputation and secure a position in the future.” Your voice snuck out from between your soft lips as a rising in octaves whisper. As confidence began to accumulate so did the need for you to prove your qualities “Even if you didn’t tell me this Mr. Stark, I would have still whipped my success onto your face. There is something I just gotta know.”

  The loud laugh echoing from inside his voice box made your whole body flinch, a blink opening your eyes wide simultaneously. “That is my girl! Exactly what I wanted to hear from you. I knew I chose you very very well. And call me Tony, I am not that old yet for Mr.” his heels swung his body like a ballerina to face you for a bit “ First round you have with green angry guy over there. Banner seems to like you already, but I want to see how true those PE grades of yours are. I expect you to take the gym in the building as serious as the rest do, little smarty pants. I would say don’t disappoint, but that look in your eyes shows me you don’t need cheesy lines. ”

  It felt like time froze the moment the owner of the building stepped out of the lab. The heartbeat in your ears was the only thing counting down the seconds passing by you, before a big and firm arm rested onto your right shoulder. Neck cracked a bit looking up at the huge yet gentle owner. He flashed you a smile almost as bright as his blonde hair.

“He tends to mess with newcomers, don’t worry your head about it too much. Was like that with me too.” Captain America looked down at Bucky and then back at you “I leave my oldie here with you, make sure you take good care of him. “

“Thank you sir.” You blurred out, out of respect towards your childhood hero and probably one of the few people who you felt you could talk casually with out side of ‘work’

“Please, call me Steve. Even if you are a baby to the group, you are still an Avenger in training so, no need for formalities with us.”  With a gentle patting motion he pushed himself off you and in the direction of his own room. ”Don’t stay too long and forget to eat, I know how you science people get.”

  Natasha jumped off the stretcher and groaned out, trying to reposition the shoulder that once more was part of her body and not just hanging by muscles and tissues.

“See you later.” She flashed you a smile, red locks of hair dancing like fire around her “Neighbor.” The word sung out playfully, in a teasing big sister manner

“You staying behind for the usual check up?” Bruce’s voice cracked, waves directed towards the super soldier sitting on the stretcher next to you.

“Yeah.” The word bass low almost pushed his head to the side, but he stopped half way- direction opposite from you

“Y/N would you be a dear and do it for me? I have to go and get Clint his meds.” His thin figure skillfully snaked around tables, chairs and desks out of the room - door sliding closed behind him. You could hear the pressured air whistled inside from the movement.

  Pushing the screen over to the Sergeant’s body made you paused. The scanner caught easily the interference caused by his weapons, plastered over his body in bondage style belts and bags.

“Um, you will have to take those off. Sorry.” Your voice but a whisper that only his super senses could catch. With a nod he reach up to the clasp. The straps were pushing into his strong and muscular body so much, the moment he pressed the button they popped off with a jump, landing onto this pectorals seconds later. As much as you tried to stay professional, your eyes kept drifting over his body. Bucky looked huge compared to the TV version of him. Everyone knew he was experimented on by HYDRA and made into an enhanced human, but this man was a walking tank. His biceps and thighs waiting to just bust out of the fabric. Going wide, your eyes connected with your brain, realizing you were practically having weird thoughts over an injured person. Shaking out of it, you pulled back.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y. ?” calling out, the interface answered practically before you could finish saying the name

Yes Miss.

“Do a standard scan and a nerve check please.”

Shall I send the results to your tablet?

“Yes, thank you.” The sound of the machine turning on led you to pull the flat screen and look at the image developing as pixels. Bucky’s body didn’t move, a bolder just sitting there and waiting. Yet his eyes caught a glimpse of your body slowly leaning onto the desk, focused on your work, unintentionally exposing your neck to him - the shapes your curves made. Somehow he couldn’t avert his gaze even if his head was empty from thoughts.

Done

“Ok...” the letters were prolonged. Biting your nail you noticed the inflamed nerve on his shoulder, pinched between his metal arm and the flesh of his body. “ Any shoulder pain?” you wanted him to say it, not you showing it

“None that I know of.” He responded, voice like thick caramel- sweet. Breathy as it was, the sigh left your mouth open, pulling your eyelids down over your irises. Your hips pushed you away from the desk and over to his left side. The cold vibranium under your touch felt refreshing. Soon as you found the spot, just the slightest pressure made him grunt.

“Hm.”an amused smirk followed the huff of air through your nose “Well I am sure this is something you know of.” Bucky kept his serious face, looking forward and not acknowledging the pain you pulled out of his extremity “Sergeant Barnes, come on.” He didn’t budge nor would he any time soon and you knew that without a verbal answer or marker

 Inhaling some air, you prepared yourself for a conversation that might just jab at more than his inflamed nerve. It could or couldn’t end up with you dead, but you weren’t getting anywhere with this. Pulling the chair on one leg, you swung it over standing directly in front of the tense man. It was time for a confrontation that no one wanted. With a push of your coat you sat down, crossing your legs and leaning onto the knee, elbow to palm.

“Look, I may not be the best person to have this conversation with or anywhere close to that, but you really need to start opening up at least to the people that care about you. Steve ‘cough cough’.”

  Bucky was still jumping from object to object but staying away from you “Keep your secrets to yourself soldier. Fighting inner demons and past trauma that you don’t even remember is hell, but that doesn’t mean you have to suffer on the outside too. No one would think of you any less if you said ‘hey my shoulder hurt’.” Leaning onto the chair’s back you let your head fall towards the wood behind . Diverting your physical eye contact let him eye you comfortably.

“What would you know about that?” ok he spoke, defensive and aggressive but progress- we are making it

“I don’t, I never said I did. If I could experience what you have, I would do it to understand you.” Side to side your head rubbed over the backrest, little splints tugging on your hair “Trust me, I would make this whole situation a lot better.”

“Is this part of your internship or something?” his words pulled your teeth to your bottom lip, squeezing away gently the remark you wished to make. Maybe a bit of Tony was rubbing off onto you.

“Babysitting problematic kids?” head shot up, as your fingers found your chin, placing your whole demeanor into a thinking position “No, I don’t think so.I don’t tend to brats, not my forte.”

“You seem to let your lips lose in bad situations.” Oh now, now he was mad. “Might end up biting you in the ass later.” You didn’t need superpowers or the bp of his heart to deduce it. Since we jumped over the acceptable line by a mile, no need to turn back now. There is one way to deal with an ass and that was bite back harder.

“Sorry for not walking on eggshells around you. Sergeant Barnes.” You saluted him in a mocking way, leaning back in the chair, basically feeling the waves of anger directed towards you. If this was the Winter Soldier he would have bitten off my throat, disgraceful. - the contractions of your lungs stopped at that thought, so rude...so you? Almost like you knew him personally. Ok, ok time to cool down before something happens.

“How do you expect me to help you if you don’t throw me a bone?” you sighed, feeling still how angry Bucky was about the whole conversation and situation in general. You were in the same headspace, if not in a weird yet familiar one” If the arm hurts, let people help, heck ask Dr. Banner or Tony.” It still felt weird using their first names - energizing no doubt

“They don’t understand, never will, nor will you.” This grown man was acting like a child, like the world didn’t have people who had similar levels of stress in their life. It was slowly crawling up your nerves and igniting a fire that could, if unleashed, burn him down so fast, only the metal arm would be left. But you tried to stay cool and calm, be the adult.

“Fine, do what you want.” Your body shot up as you threw your hands even higher. The lab coat fixed itself back onto you, fingers rubbing the back of your neck. The man sat there hunched over, arm stinging with the most dumbfounded look he could plaster over his stoic façade. “You can go, but if you don’t fix it you will be a burden on the next mission.” And you threw the hook, now all good ol’Bucky had to do is bite and this would be all over in the nick of time. There was a room with your name on it, calling.

  You waited and waited till you noticed the stars pocking inside from the window. Head moving towards your clock made you realize that it was already 9pm. With a jump in your step you pulled all the vibranium back in its original comfy home and inside the space in your new desk. Whipping dust off tech and trying to organize your papers, completely ignoring the tantrum little boy pretty close by.

“Fine.” Bucky’s voice was louder and deeper than before

“What?” your neck tugged on the muscles, letting you look at him with an unbothered look swimming around in your eyes.

“I said fine.Do what you gotta do.” And the verbal consent was given on a whim. Joy filled you up knowing you wouldn’t have to deal with him anymore. All happened in a blink of an eye - arms wrapping around his, a sudden loud and painful swing leading to the crack of his whole metallic prosthetic. This was probably the first time you saw such an expression on his face. His brain now activated to deference mode, reached to grab your neck. Any normal person would piss their pants, but you tried to stay calm. Tapping his wrist you played a small echoing sound, when his eyes landed on the full extension and rotation of his arm.

  The accumulating pressure left his muscles as it showed on his face. Bucky’s eyes were wide, roaming over his arm with the speed of light, pulling a light cough out of your throat.

“Sorry. “ he pulled back instantly.

“I just repositioned your arm you big brute. Next time swing gentle, no need to go through walls.” Palming your neck you pointed at the door

“Now leave me to my work.” A light jump and he was on his legs again doing as you requested, not being able to say anything. Leaning onto the door frame he mumbled something and left.

Sergeant Barnes was thankful Miss.

F.R.I.D.A.Y. informed you, pulling a smirk from deep inside. “Yeah yeah, I know. Tough nut that James Barnes. Such a kid.” One more giggle and it was off to finishing up for you.

[soyeahitsmiddleearth]

How about some eventual snuggling with Kili who used to tease human!reader for not having her first kiss yet? I just love the way you portray the brothers in your writing, it always makes me smile 💘

I'm sorry this took so long, I've been lacking motivation to write since I hurt my hands but I got this out! I hope you like it!

You never understood why people care so much about others romantic experiences when they're not even interested in the first place. 

It literally makes no sense. 

What does it matter that you've never kissed anyone? Or been in a relationship? 

A conquest is how you've been seen in the past. Like a goal that people are working towards over something so stupid.

What do they even gain from getting a kiss from you anyways? Another roll of innocence on their belt? Bragging rights? 

Whatever. 

I mean really, it shouldn't matter at all; and in this particular group of dwarfs you thought it wouldn't matter at all, and for the most part it doesn't. However, while your first kiss may not be a conquest, it certainly is the topic of a lot of teasing. 

Specifically from Fili and Kili.

Double specifically from Kili. 

It was just a casual conversation like any other when the topic came up, the two brothers discussing how awkward their first kisses were since they had given up their first kisses to the same girl. 

"I know, I know. It sounds unbelievable but it's true!" Kili exclaims between laughter, nudging his brother in the side while you join in with giggles of your own. "And do you want to know what happened after we kissed?" 

"What?" You ask eagerly, practically on the edge of your seat. This story is just too good. 

"She called me Fili! She had us completely mixed up with one another and it then dawned on me that she hadn't said my name the entire night." He looks indignant and tries to feign shock, though the big smile on his face gives him away. "I'm completely certain that she forgot if I was Fili or Kili, and then panicked and guessed at the last moment. It was mortifying." 

You gasp dramatically and look over at the blond-haired brother who is watching on with amusement in his eyes, though he isn't laughing as much as you or his brother. "And what about you?" 

"Me? Well, she kissed me afterward and didn't bother to tell me that she had been snogging my brother only a few hours-" 

"A few hours? " Once more you're left shocked- this is better than any soap opera- and you look at him with wide eyes. 

"I know! I had no idea. And when I returned home later and Kili told me what happened, I nearly lost it." He shakes his head after he finishes speaking and crosses his arms over his chest.

You reach up and scratch at your cheek lightly, pressing a bit further, "What did you guys do about it?" 

They exchange a glance as smiles creep up onto their faces, and right away you know they did something no so kind. 

"Well, the next time she asked me to join her for an outing," Fili begins, a smirk creeping up onto his face, "I invited Kili along." 

"Oh, her face when she saw the both of us together. Once we approached her she looked like a deer caught drinking by a hunter, I tell you! And then Fili said-"

"I said, 'Oh, Elora! I hope you don't mind but I brought my brother, Kili, along since I wanted him to meet you.' And then she looked absolutely horrified." 

You place your hand on your face and look at him with wide eyes, asking very energetically, "W-Wait so you brought along your brother, who she also kissed, _and _indirectly told her she said the wrong brothers name?"

"That's exactly what I did, and she looked none too happy about it. She started yelling at us for being horrible and tricking her." Fili sighs and shakes his head as if he's disappointed just thinking about it. "She looked positively foolish." 

"What an awful way to lose your first kiss- because that certainly does sound like a loss." You look at them sympathetically despite the humor of the memory, knowing that it must've been much less pleasant at the time. 

Kili shrugs his shoulders indifferently, looking at you with a raised eyebrow, "Well, we're not bothered by it anymore anyways." 

"It's your turn to share." Fili urges as his humorous demeanor becomes much more expectant. 

You frown deeply at his call for your story, but, unfortunately for them, you don't have one. "I've never kissed anyone, so I've no embarrassing story to give." 

A moment of silence passes by where they just look at you before Kili asks incredulously, "You've never been kissed?" 

"No..." You suddenly feel a bit nervous, glancing away shyly. "Not everyone has been, you know. Surely it isn't that surprising to you." You're grumbling more than speaking at this point, hoping more than anything that they'll just drop it since it isn't a big deal. 

A smile curls onto Kili's lips and the tease leaves his mouth before he can stop himself, "Certainly there must be some sort of mistake! Our brave, adventurous, Y/N has never kissed anyone?" 

In contrast to Kili, a scowl works its way onto your face and you look away pointedly, "What does it matter?" 

"Oh, well it doesn't matter much...," he trails off as that same mischievous smile stays on his face, and then he continues, "You're even softer and sweeter than I thought!"

"How does that make me soft or sweet?" You ask incredulously, half-hearted disgust twisting your features. 

"It just does." Fili chimes in suddenly, earning a glare from you. 

A heavy sigh leaves you and you flop down onto your back, avoiding looking at both of them, "Oh, you too? You're both incorrigible." 

All they do is laugh in response. 

You got an awful lot of teasing from those two after you let that slip (it wasn't actually a slip up but whatever), but eventually the jokes and jabs died down and became less frequent, though they didn't stop altogether in the slightest. 

Some of their jokes ended up being kinda funny too, surprisingly enough, though that doesn't mean you disliked it any less. 

And there's also the thing with liking all the attention you've been getting from Kili- even if it is attention derived from being made fun of. 

Also, there's the fact that a few of Kili's jabs included things like being willing to teach you a thing or two about kissing... Oh, even thinking about it makes you embarrassed. 

You can feel your face heating up upon the thought of his recent behavior, and you chance a quick look around to see if anyone is looking at you and, luckily, find that nobody is paying attention to you. 

Thank god. 

A moment or so passes and the raging heat of your face cools, and then you dispel all thoughts of this from your mind. 

You take a deep breath and lay back into your bedroll and pulling your blanket over you, looking up at the sky with a slight pout on your face. 

A chill runs down your spine in unison with a strong gust of wind that breezes by, and, instinctively, you reach up and wrap your arms around yourself. It's a cold night, but you'll be able to manage as long as you bundle up properly. 

"Y/N? Are you cold?" A voice pipes up from your left suddenly. 

You turn toward the voice and see Kili sitting with his back propped up against the trunk of one of the trees in the clearing, one of his eyebrows raised while he smokes from the dreadful pipe. 

"Just a little bit." You mumble, wrapping your blanket around your shoulders and sitting back up so you can look at him full on. "Are you going to sleep soon?" 

"Yes..." He trails off and looks like he wants to say something else, and right away you're on guard. 

"If you're thinking of more ways to tease me, then I won't speak to you at all tomorrow." 

A smirk curls at the corners of his lips and he laughs heartily, shaking his head along while speaking, "I was not planning on it. Have I really tormented you so much that you expect it now?" 

Uh, duh. 

You nod your head vigorously and glare right at him, "Yes. And you know it, too." 

The dark-haired dwarf laughs some more and shrugs his shoulders, placing his pipe down and crossing his arms across his chest. "Fair." 

"Is that all?" 

He doesn't say anything right away and instead looks at you silently for a bit, seeming to debate something internally before he gestures for you to come over to him. 

You, of course, just look at him blankly for a moment, eyes narrowing a fraction with clear distrust, "What?" 

"You said that you are cold." 

"And?" 

"I'm offering up a solution." 

Once more you say nothing and just look at him, thus causing him to sigh heavily. 

"Come on now, I'm only trying to be nice," he pauses, then adds, "I promise not to tease you." 

"How do I know I can trust you?" 

"You'll just have to try." 

The sourness does not leave your face while the two of you engage in some sort of stare down, a battle of wills, but when another shudder runs through you, you know that you're just gonna have to concede. 

And I mean, it's not like you don't want to be close to him or anything like that, but there's still that little bit of suspicion whispering in your ear...

Oh well. 

You sigh heavily and resign your hesitance in favor of crawling over to him, not removing your blanket or being particularly quick, and once you're next to him you settle and pull your blanket tighter around your shoulders. 

"Okay, I'm here." 

He wraps his arm around your shoulders right away and pulls you into him, laughing lightly at your hesitance since he really does find it to be rather cute. "Come on now, it's only me." 

"I know..." You grumble, leaning into him comfortably and wrapping one of your arms around his waist, less skittishly this time around. "You're always bothering me, though, so I never know what to expect." 

Fair. 

He only smiles and doesn't reply, looking ahead and just getting more comfy himself. 

The change in temperature is almost instant, and right away you know that you don't want to be anywhere else. 

You slide down further and stretch your legs out in front of you, sighing contently while you look at the flickering and orange fire ahead. The air is still cold of course, but it feels so much better with someone holding you. 

Kili unconsciously smiles when you snuggle up further into him, pulling you over so your head can rest against his shoulder which you appreciate greatly. 

You're practically laying on him now, but if he's uncomfortable at all then he definitely isn't showing it. 

You aren'y quite sure when your eyes began to droop or your body began to completely relax, but very soon were you on the verge of sleep, tipping just over the edge of rest as he held you so comfortingly and remained as still as he possibly could - which you are very grateful for. 

At one point you vaguely register movement beside you and, when you begin to stir, a soft whisper telling you that everything's fine and that you should go back to sleep, and not long after that are you completely whisked away into dream land. 

Kili had elected to lay down and bring you with him once he got tired, and, instead of sending you off to your own bedroll, he just held you a bit tighter and looked up at the sky for a little bit while he waited for sleep to overcome him as well (that ended up taking a bit longer than he thought it would, for he was entranced in your peaceful expression and the soft breaths fanning out across his chest). 

Right before he falls asleep himself he leans down and presses a delicate kiss to your forehead, smiling tiredly when your nose twitches. 

And then he too falls into the depths of sleep. 

[baka-monarch]

What The Fuck!?

(A.N: before we start with the story I just wanna say that this is based off of this post by @lance-alt​ . Also, alot of creators on here got mentioned in the story, like actual mentions so if you got mentioned just know that I love what you create and wanted to include you because I love your interpretations of the sides, and you do not have to read this at all if you don’t want to and if you want me to take you out of the story please DM me and tell me so that I can)

TRIGGER WARNINGS: SLIGHT MENTION OF VORE FOR LIKE TWO SECONDS, MENTION OF USYEMPETHETIC SIDES, SHITTING N SOME HEADCANONS EVEN THOUGH I MYSELF LOVE THEM

The Sides are lost. They find themselves in a familiar and yet unknown place.

They will soon find someone dark. And someone far too shiny and bright… Too innocent.

The Sides meet…

their fanon-selves.

 ...

 It had started like any normal day. The sides existing as a part of Thomas, helping him with his daily dilemmas, the usual things. Until Thomas took a nap. Then the sides suddenly found themselves in a white void. It wasn’t a dream, they could confirm that much from the other dreams that Thomas had. Also from the confused looks on the twin’s faces who were in charge of dreams, like how Remus had caused Thomas’ nightmare that they had disgusted in Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts.

“Where are we?” Logan spoke up, voicing everyone’s concerns.

“Wherever it is, Thomas has never thought about it before.” Roman muttered as he glanced around.

“Yeah, I know his brains can be scooped out at times, but not even he can have a mind this empty.” At Remus’ comment, most of the others cringed in varying degrees, with Logan being the only one unaffected, only rolling his eyes in annoyance.

“Although your metaphor usage could use some work, you are correct. This place is too empty to be a part of Thomas.” Logan conceded.

“If this isn’t Thomas...then where are we?” Virgil gleaned around wearily, trying to come up with his own explanation for this situation.

“It’s really blank here...maybe Thomas is in a coma?” Roman tried, to which Virgil’s eyes widened.

“Impossible, how would we be active if he is not?” Logan debated.

“I don’t know! Do you have any ideas, Sherlock Drones?” Roman rebutted, causing Logan to roll his eyes and fix his glasses.

“Unfortunately, no. There is not enough evidence...anywhere to make a proper inference on the situation.” Logan finished adjusting his glasses by the time he finished, gaining an annoyed huff from Roman.

“Heya, kiddos? Maybe we shouldn’t argue. We’re all confused right now, and getting upset isn’t going to get us anywhere.” Patton butted in to make sure things didn’t escalate.

“Thank you, Patton.” Logan gave a curt nod of agreement.

“Fiiiine!” Roman whined after a bit.

“It would be wise to explore, to see if we can find any clues as to where we are.”

“I’ll do it!” Remus jumped in. “Who knows, maybe we all died a gruesome death!” He cackled.

“No need.” Janus approached the group from behind, having already explored himself. “Look behind us.” When turning the sides were surprised to find the area behind them was not all whit. On it there were words like what one would find in a google doc currently describing their situation as they lived through it. 

“What the fuck?” Virgil muttered. He had a Tumb.lr so he knew what fanfiction was, and this looked like it. “This can’t be happening…” He groaned, knowing it was happening.

“Aw, they’re writing about us Virge! Like the people on that one app you use.” Patton cooed, only knowing of the fluff part of fanon.

“Pat, you don’t understand. This isn’t good.”

“Oh nonsense kiddo.” Patton dismissed. “Have you guys seen the art they draw of us? It’s so cute!” Virgil internally cringed knowing that not all of it was like that.

“Either way,”-Janus cut off their small conversation.-“We need to find a way out of here.” Janus focused slightly more on Virgil for his next comment. “Whether this is real or not.” Virgil shivered at the thought of them not being real, or even acting like they do in the things that people create. 

Everyone agreed, and soon they were on their way to explore this strange new environment.

 …

 Soon enough, however, the sides are lost. Which brings us back to where this story began. As they searched for their original location, or even the mysterious floating words, they come upon a familiar and yet unknown place. It looks strikingly like a Disney movie kingdom. With one half, filled with bright colors, lush fields, enchanting forests, and a large white castle with a red roof. The other half being dark and dangerous, the colors fading, plants rotting, instead of animals there only creatures of unknown origin, and in the middle, a black, crumbling, castle, with striking green roofing. It was almost as if...it were made for the twins.

In fact, as they got closer they could hear two far off shouts, with simultaneous silhouettes, motioning towards them, as if pointing them out to someone...or something, else.

“Uh...guys?” Virgil trailed off wondering if the others had noticed.

“On it.” Romas was quick to pull out his sword, Remus quickly following suit with his morning star.

It was unnecessary however, as once the silhouettes were in view, they looked exactly like the twins. 

“Wha…” Roman lowered his sword as he saw this. As they got closer more figures came into view. All of which looked like the sides to varying degrees. There were thousands. Some were small, some were even giants, and there were alot that weren’t even human.

“Oh! Hi there kiddos!” A Patton(?) came running past the twin’s doppelgangers. “You’re probably really confused right now, I know alot of us were when we appeared!” The sides just looked at the Patton look-alike  dumbfounded. The first to break out of it was Logan.

“I do not wish to appear rude, but, who are you and where are we?” Logan queried.

“Oh, I’m Patton by @baka-monarch !” Patton chirped. “And you’re in The Imagination!”

“The what now-?” “How did you-?” Both Roman and Virgil asked at the same time.

“Hm?” The other Patton tilted his head confused.

“One at a time now kiddos…” Their Patton silently reminded them. Roman nodded to Virgil to let him go first.

Virgil inhaled, taking his cue. “How did you say a mention? That only works when typed in social medias.” Virgil wondered confused.

“Oh! That’s just my fander creator kiddo!” This Patton didn’t miss a beat as he answered happily. Virgil stared at him blankly as he came to a horrifying conclusion.

“We’re in a f*****g fanfiction.” He jumped slightly at his bleep out. “What was that?”

“Oh, Jan Jan did that I wouldn’t have to hear any vulgar language.” All of them looked back at Janus who looked forward, uninterested, definitely trying not to hide his embarrassment at what this other him did, definitely not. 

“...Okay… My turn!” Roman exclaimed. “What is “the Imagination”?” He used air quotes.

“Yeah, I was wondering that too, Mr. The 6th Day clone.” Remus added.

“Oh! Don’t you know? It’s the place you and Roman can go to to summon anything.You can even change the entire world around you!” Patclone chirped.

“What.” They all said in unison with worry, apart from the twins who were excited.

“Yeah! Isn’t it cool!” Patclone said oblivious to the consequences of the twins having this power could cause. “Oh yeah, do you want me to introduce you to everyone?”

“Please, I am intrigued about how our counterparts might act.” Logan conceded.

“Okie dokie then! Follow me!”

 …

 It had been a few hours at this point and they still weren’t even an eighth of the way through yet. There were so many headcanons, variations, AUs, OCs, OOCs, designs, everything. It was almost too much to handle.

“-this is @tscampfireau ‘s sides from their au-” The Virgil hissed and bit towards them as they almost walked on their pentagram that they were making out of… was that blood? The Patton and Logan were helping them by t-posing as a barrier against the other sides. “-yeah they can be a...fun bunch to hang out with. Oh, and here’s @bleepblopbloop56 ‘s sides.”

“How, and why are they hotter than us..?” Roman mumbled to Virgil, only getting a weird look in response.

“Then there’s @mango-shpango ‘s and @rondoel ‘s ones, he’s got a lot-” Patclone shrugged it off, but King caught all of their eyes. He didn’t have to look like the one they knew for them to know who it was… “Oh, hey there @that-prey-lounge and @tiny-peter-rabbit ‘s sides!” He greeted them. As they turned a corner there was a group of sides that were made of metal like robots. “Oh, there’s @burnadolt ‘s fnaf au!” He waved. As they approached a tavern the last group greeted was, “Heya @nommy-thoughts ‘ sides, how are you adjusting?” there were several positive responses from many of them, and as the sides looked closer they could see that a few were smaller than a human hand not only that but nearby (possibly made by someone else), were the sides they’d seen from afar earlier that were giants.. They hadn't noticed them yet here because of how closely compact the buildings were and how their size made what was visible from their perspective look like buildings.

As they all entered the tavern, they saw that there was only one group of sides here. “Hiya guys! New sides I’d like you to meet @baka-monarch ‘s group.” There were several different hellos. “And my friends, I’d like you to meet… to meet..? I’m sorry but who’s your creator?” Virgil was the one to answer.

“@thatstha-MMPH!” Virgil was only part of the way through before the other’s Janus made him slap his hand over his mouth as the other sides in the room went pale. “What was that for?” Virgil asked, his voice muffled by his hand.

“You can’t say his name. Not here.” Patclone explained cryptid. They all fell into an awkward silence, until Roman changed the subject.

“Why are there...two of you?” Roman observed.

“Oh!” Patclone chirped. “I was created just for this au! Just so I could be your guide!” He paused for a moment thinking before continuing. “I guess I’m like the Monika of this world.” Again, everyone paled, some not understanding, others...understanding too well. “Welp, I guess you want to go explore now! Jan Jan, do you and Patty wanna go have fun while they look around?” Both mentioned sides blushed.

“I told you not to call me that…” Janus mumbled as he took Patclone’s hand and the other Patton stood up to quickly join them as they went off to a separate room.

 …

 Only an hour had passed and the sides had already split off into groups with their counterparts. The Roman’s comforting each other while being completely random, some of them being sad little puffballs that the strong egotistic Roman’s had decided to protect, while others were a mix or just completely unsympathetic and degrading anyone the came in contact with, especially the Virgils. Virgil had kind of separated himself from the other Virgils since 90% of them were cowering away from everything and just having constant anxiety attacks, while the few who were different either had power that they abused, or were fawning over the other sides. The Logans had formed an army of science lead by the Logan from @askdarksidelogan and the other dark sides from his au, this Logan was very robotic looking, cruel, and unfeeling...well, almost unfeeling as the Deceit from his au was his boyfriend and the Remus was really close friends with him. Janus was busy trying to coral in all his different counterparts as some of them made plans to kill everyone around them and end the government, while others were hiding due to PTSD about the angst they have been through. The Remuses just vibed in their corner, killing, being gross, and annoying the other aspects. Finally the Pattons. Patton had basically adopted the ones that were child-like and too innocent for their own good while avoiding the unsympathetics that were teaming up with other unsympathetics and the ones who were...horny… Actually everyone was avoiding the horny ones.

But that was just the simplified version of the chaos. Logans were capturing people to test, Deceits were arguing over their name even though one was already canon, Romans were either being complete idiots or crying silently to themselves, while they were targeted by the unsympathetics along with the Virgils, everyone too scared to even try to tussle with the army of Logans.

Virgil sat back on a hill and watched it all unfold. How had the community gotten this far without this much chaos? He had no idea. A few other counterparts were up there with him but he didn’t mind since they mostly seemed chill. A Virgil approached and sat down next to him exhausted, and judging by the paint he was covered in he had just come from the Romans’ corner.

“Romans a little too much?” Virgil tried making conversation.

“Yeah…” He breathed. “It was getting a little too rowdy and I wanted to get my Roman out of there so he wouldn’t get hurt.” With no Roman in sight, Virgil assumed that he had been unsuccessful.

“So, which Roman is yours?” Virgil wondered.

“Hm?” The counterpart tilted his head confused until it clicked. “Oh, no, he’s not down there right now.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a tiny Roman. “See.”

“Oh…” Virgil was at a loss of words. What does a person say to that? After that they just sat there in silence as Virgil’s counterpart and the Roman snuggled slightly through a hand to body contact. 

“So…” Virgil decided to try again. “What’s it like, y’know, being shipped?” Virgil wondered, seeing how it seemed these two were in some kind of relationship. Virgil had always found it kind of weird, but, maybe there was more to it…

“I mean, it’s like any other relationship I guess… falling in love and deciding to be together.” The counterpart mumbled as the tiny Roman rubbed his hand to comfort him.

“But isn’t it weird how it isn’t real? How, you’re literally just playing out your creator’s fantasies because they enjoy the idea of you being together?” Virgil wondered.

The counterpart just shrugged. “I try not to think about it… but, it really isn’t that weird, even if we’re fictional characters we have memories, motives, morals, opinions, feelings. Those are real. Even if they aren’t created by us, they are real. Every thought, every motion, every breath. That is us. Just because it was written, drawn, or even just imagined, it happened and that makes it real. Makes this feeling real.” He explained as he rubbed the little head of his Roman.

“Huh I… I guess you’re right, I never thought of it that way.” Virgil shrugged.

“No one does. Why do you think people are told not to cry over fictional deaths when they actually had feelings for a character, platonic or not?” The counterpart said. “It’s just a story on the outside, something thought to not affect people even though when our memories are shared with them, it can change them.” Virgil looked at his counterpart, curiosity growing about how he had so much knowledge.

“Who’s your creator?” Virgil finally asked.

“Why do I have to have one?”

“Touche.” 

They went back to a comfortable silence. It was nice. Until this one Janus came.

“Hey, Virgil, does Roman mind if I had him for a bit?” They asked.

“I don’t mind at all!” The tiny side exclaimed as he got on Janus’ hand. They soon left, but when that Janus vired the Roman they weren’t far enough away from Virgil for him not to catch a glimpse. He shivered. 

“Is that normal?” He wondered.

“Depends on the part of the community, but pretty normal and usually safe, so don’t worry.” The counterpart comforted him. It barely helped but at last Virgil knew that that Roman was safe… probably.

“Can I try!” Remus came brelling up the his, straight (heh) to the counterpart.

“Only if you want to.” They replied.

“I do!” Remus wriggled with excitement.

“Alright, let's go find you one of the groups of sides either with the power to shrink you or are giants.” Virgil led Remus off the hill as Remus kept talking about everything that could go wrong but probably wouldn’t.

Weird. Was all Virgil could think as he watched them leave.

 …

 He saw a lot that day but never saw that Virgil again, as if he had vanished mysteriously. It didn’t matter to him right now though as he had been stuck with babysitting duty over all the little kid sides.

“F*** this.”

 …

 Virgil looked over the story he just read one more time. It was written by a small creator called @baka-monarch , who focussed more on reblogging than they did their own content.

“That was trash.”

…

…

…

“Reblog.”

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

pls scream about Leo a lil bit cause my love for that man is neverending and i live for you guys' blog,,, and ur comte love fuels me??? head empty except for those two pureblood clowns

HNGNGNG I hope that both you and everyone that reads my shenanigans knows how utterly understood I feel when I see anyone stan Comte, if not both of those idiot purebloods bc good lord...I live for two tired fossil men that just want DOMESTIC BLISS. Literally they have no brain cells beyond respect women and we love that for us, it’s spectacular!!

Under a cut bc I went off and is long:

That being said I’d be happy to yell abt Leo!! Where do I even begin, this man was the reason I got into Ikevamp in the first place, and I’ve read just about every single one of his events at this point. He just makes me so TENDER!!!!!! For whatever reason the first thing that came to mind was this one time he lies about being jealous and MC is lolol u a fool if you think I can’t tell when you lie to me. And he’s so fuckiNG SHOOK?????? It’s even funnier because she’s internally like [I’m not 100% sure but for a second there he almost looked mad...time to test this theory even if it’s just A GAME T H E O R Y] And he’s so fucking pikachu meme that shit sends me. I can’t handle the fact that he’s so used to people just assuming he’s fine, that he can handle himself. That he’s lived for so long without really anyone noticing at all. (Comte absolutely notices and will lightly roast him, but doesn’t really push him about it or wants to overstep). And so when MC just actively pays attention and is so gentle with him he’s just floored???

God I’m crying now, but I will just never forget the funeral scene in his fucking rt. This asshole, this absolute moron, straight up tries to come at us with “yOu GeT uSeD tO iT aFtEr HaLf A mIlLeNiUm, i’M nOt SaD”. Like are you serious. Come here and let me hold you before I throttle you. Absolute clown. He’s just always trying so hard to get by on his own and it breaks my heart. How long...how long has he lived just getting by, nursing his own wounds and dragging himself up all by himself. HE LEFT HOME AT LIKE 14 (whatever the fuCK SOME TOO YOUNG AGE) AND RAN STRAIGHT INTO THE HANDS OF PEOPLE THAT HATED HIM FOR HIS TALENT. HE REMEMBERS HIS MENTORS DESTROYING HIS UTENSILS WHILE TRYING TO ESCAPE PARENTS THAT WHOLEHEARTEDLY REJECTED ANY EXPRESSION OF LOVE OR COMPASSION FOR HUMANITY THAT HE CHERISHED SO DEEPLY. I DON’T NEED SLEEP I NEED TO HUG HIM IMMEDIATELY FUCKING HELL.

Like.........there’s just........I don’t know how to explain it, but I once saw it explained so well in a post. It was basically talking about Castlevania, and how in that show Dracula sees humanity’s folly and develops so much hatred he just goes straight to murder rage. And while in some ways I understand that, I understand even more deeply Trevor’s response to humanity’s fear and violence. He says that he knows they’re short-sighted, that maybe we all just don’t deserve saving...but that he’s going to do it anyway. Leonardo just so much gives me that energy of knowing there’s so much pain in the world, but all we can do is keep walking--keep trying, even if we have to claw our way forward. Because if you only see the awfulness in front of you, you forget the way that strangers make silly faces at babies to make them laugh on the train, how a friend will put everything down to race over to someone and comfort them with some ice cream--do anything they can to distract them from the hurt. How the sight of a child crying will prompt careful cooing from a stranger as to their bravery, an offering of cool water, the gentle placement of a bandaid. How a pair of teenagers will spot a lost child in milliseconds and help them seek out their parents protectively. There is so much wretchedness, but also so much beauty in it all, and the older I get the more I see myself wanting to believe in the latter. I want to be hopeful, and easily impressed, and full of love. To be bitter and jaded accomplishes nothing, and only becomes a worsening self-fulfilling prophecy. The more you seek negativity, the more you will find it; and worse, create it.

I also scream a little bit bc like. I’ve gone on and on about how Comte is very obviously in love with MC all the time, and sure that may be true. But...I really don’t think Leo is exempt from that either if I’m honest lmfao. Only because what does Leonardo do when it isn’t his route? He almost never shows up. Once in a while he might appear for a split second in a scene, but he almost never converses with MC beyond those short moments. While Comte is the one to pine openly, I’d wager Leo is the opposite. He pines in absolute silence, because he knows that if he gets any closer--he’s going to fall. He’s going to enjoy it too much, going to keep seeking out more before he can stop himself. And losing another person he loves...he just can’t do it anymore. In his first meeting story he talks about seeing MC’s eyes and feeling like he’d known them all his life, and even in his MS he speaks to just being completely fascinated by and enamored of her. She doesn’t hesitate, always does her best, meets people head-on and without much hesitation. After a lifetime of people that are probably just immediately interested in him for his talents, or always seeking out his company for the novelty, this is someone that doesn’t give a single fuck if he’s Leonardo da Vinci. Sure she’s aware, and sure she’s impressed to some extent, but her respect--her attraction and admiration--is something that has to be earned. 

There’s something so refreshing about how their love was written. Sure it’s the whole fake marriage to a real relationship, but it’s also a kind of subtle enemies to lovers pulled off masterfully. MC is 100% minding her own business, just wants to do what she must in order to get home, tries to focus on her work to keep from thinking about how much she misses her old life. She doesn’t rely on anyone, doesn’t talk about how hard it is or how scary it is or how confusing. And even Leonardo forgets in his curiosity, is just chillin and also just trying to do the bare minimum to keep from getting too attached--figures he can admire her from a distance. And then he sees her staring at the hourglass. And suddenly, he can’t just watch her do that herself. Just wait for the hard times to pass, just sit with her own loneliness--that hollowing silence. There’s something so moving about it because he reaches out precisely because he knows that feeling to his fucking marrow, and literally just cannot watch somebody else do that to themselves. Sure he’s been dealing with it for three hundred years, BUT THIS GOOD BABIE CHILD DOES NOT DESERVE THIS. SHE WORKS HARD AND DESERVES NICE THINGS!!!!!!!! And so he drives her crazy as he races ahead of her, intercepting any attempt for her to preserve that silence and hide. She doesn’t see any pattern to it, and that’s just how he likes it--he doesn’t want her to worry about the how or why. 

Like I fully remembering playing in Japanese and being like oh my fucking god this is hilarious, this man is just a wild fucker and I love this. I was enjoying myself, mostly laughing and shaking my head. But then it just gets so, so serious. I was having so much fun that I, like a fool, forgot the anime effect. If you’re having fun, it’s going to come crashing down without mercy soon enough. And it does. He helps a little girl without any hope play her violin again, and maybe I’m just too English major but I was fucking FLOORED when I realized I didn’t see that that was straight foreshadowing. That little girl without hope? That was MC (and by extension depending on how you play, us). Though the metaphor isn’t quite so easily mapped without a physical space, the connection is clear when you think about it. With his careful social awareness, he makes a place for MC to exist in the mansion so naturally--as though she was meant to be there from the start, crafts a positive impression of her presence with each of the residents. And he does it with zero expectation of anything in return; he’s just happy to see her not stressing herself out anymore or trying to do everything alone. MC doesn’t fall in love with him despite their differences, she falls in love with him because they are the same in a singular and all-encompassing way that matters; they both care about other people so deeply, to the point where they will forego any personal needs in order to make that person’s life easier. Whether it be muting their own hardship, or working to involve another person in a new space (or opening up to the point of self-destruction to keep a person from feeling alone), they go above and beyond what anybody asks of them--perhaps strong to the point of their own detriment, in some cases. 

It’s why I always laugh when he says to Sebastian “That cara mia, she has a good heart.” Of course she does, Leonardo; it certainly takes one to know one. 

And because I literally have no brain cells beyond being in fucking love with Leonardo THE LAKE SCENE IS AN AFFRONT TO MY DIGNITY AND SELF-CONTROL. HOW DARE YOU, SIGNORE. HOW DARE YOU ASK ME TO SIT THERE AND WATCH YOU OPEN YOUR HEART TO ME AND NOT BAWL MY EYES OUT AND TRY TO KISS YOU ALL AT THE SAME TIME. SIGNORE “hAhA yOu’Re So SmAlL yOu LoOk LiKe YoU’rE DrOwNiNg In My CoAt.” I WOULD DROWN AND DIE HAPPY--BITCH I TELL YOU THAT.

Like. I can’t think of another route I’ve ever done where I spent a good amount of time like “lmfao this guy is so wild im gonna punch him” to just be in a whirlpool of my own tears, regretting my entire fucking LIFE days later. Like Leonardo’s cultural impact???? Fucking immeasurable, I wish every white man disaster I ever met had a hidden heart of gold in all of his boyish dumbassery, an ICONIC himbo of our time. 

Also because I remembered it before posting and I am Dying^TM. The event where MC was a pureblood and he was human. That entire fucking event. I literally can’t think about it without screaming and crying. Her just so flustered at his reaction to her like “oh look, free real estate” as he plops her in his lap, absolutely no fear, treating her like a princess because of her noble title despite NO NECESSITY BEYOND PLAYFULNESS BUT ALSO STILL MEANING IT IN AN EARNEST WAY, being charming to no END just to see her laugh or look away shyly. 

WHEN HE SAID. WHEN HE SAID “...Can’t leave you alone, or you might go off someplace I can’t follow.” I. CONGRATULATIONS, YOU STRIPPED DEVOTION DOWN TO ITS BARE ESSENTIALS!!!!!! GAH HOW MC HERSELF SAYS “I would tell him the truth but...he’s much too generous for a human. I know he would offer his life without a moment’s hesitation.” How Leo describes the aftermath of her biting him: “Lucky for you, I’m a true gentleman, Unlike my principessa, who took me like a storm” HELLO??????? H E L  L O ???????????????????????? ARE WE JUST GOING TO SLEEP ON THE FACT THAT HE LOST HIS ENTIRE SOUL WHEN SHE BIT HIM???? I--

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

(Also as much as I love him the cigarillos have got to go at some point, boy do you have any idea the shit secondhand smoke does good lordt)

[drkcnry67]

Dance with me?

A/N: @obxmermaid​  this is day 15 omg thank you for the opportunity to make christmas stories this year. im honored that i can expand my writing fandoms. today we find that its before owls, before christmas feast, before their relationship was out in the open. this is the formal, this is the hogwarts winter formal. draco and Yn are not yet a public couple but this night Draco takes the courage to ask YN to dance and no one asks questions cause all cards and rivalry’s are off the table during the dance and for that day. so this is what looks like a friendly dance between a guy and a girl. but it is so much more than that.

pairing: Draco Malfoy x reader

prompt: snowball fight/ winter formal

mentioning @sweetness47​

25 days of hogwarts

the yule ball, or in some cases what would be known as a winter formal is one of the most sacred events hogwarts has the honor of throwing every 2 years. its a grand event some people have their gowns and tuxes picked out months or years ahead of the event. 

but you had no gown yet for the gown you wanted was in london at a shop you had passed by so many times and the last time you did you saw a halter peacock teal floor length gown. it took your breath away. 

this was the gown you wanted but alas you had no time at that moment to get it. a few days before the ball you were watching the entire dorm obsess over their gowns, choosing hair and makeup. but you and draco hadnt even discussed going to the ball. 

or at least what would happen at the ball. but meeting draco for your session a few days before the formal, you were distracted and draco could tell.

Draco: something on your mind love.

YN: the formal is in 2 days and well we cant go as a couple no one outside of our friends know, and what if people ask questions. 

Draco: so we wont show up together but the formal is a chance for everyone to forget the rivalry’s and grudges and hard feelings are off the table. no one will ask questions if i ask you to dance. and whats better is this will be the first of many dances to come i hope. 

yn: i just wish i could walk in with you on my arm and not have to worry about a thing. 

Draco: i know what you mean but it will hopefully show the professors that even our rivalry can be put aside when it matters. 

YN: i hope so. i need a dress though. 

Draco scribbles out a quick fire message and sends it off... 

YN: what was that about...

Draco: trust me you will thank me later... just promise me you will have the time of your life at the formal besides we will dance and no one will say anything... besides i look forward to the end of the party, where you and i meet in the courtyard to just watch the stars and hide away for a kiss, all before returning to the charade and our dorms.

YN: so basically you have the entire night planned out. 

Draco: more or less yes... now go you need to have energy for tomorrow. get some rest my love. go before you fall asleep on my lap. 

YN: i guess your right, i will see you tomorrow in class... 

you walked out of the tower and back to your dorm. where you collapsed on the bed as hermione walked in. 

Hermione: so how was your tutoring tonight cuz? 

YN: it was fine... we talked about the formal... he has the entire night planned out but then i told him that i didnt have anything to wear. and before you say it cuz, its fine i mean im sure he will dance with me whether im in a pretty dress or my uniform. 

Hermione: i know we are gonna look killer at the formal or we are gonna fail trying to have a fun night. now what about your wardr... Oh My God! cuz get over here a box with a bow on it just showed up at the entrance.

you get up off the bed and run over to the entrance where Hermione was gawking at the box. 

YN: OMG what could be in such a large box... 

Hermione: well lets get it inside and happily look at this mystery package. 

YN: i think i might know who this is from... but yes lets get it inside before we do anything else with this. 

it was your own mind putting draco’s mysterious fire message with the sudden appearance of this box. the timing of it all was far too coincidential, but never the less you looked forward to whatever lay inside this box. 

You set it on your bed, you ran your fingers over the box, tracing the bow, tracing the box outline. this was when your cousin noticed an envelope on top of the box tucked under the ribbon. 

Hermione: maybe that envelope will explain better as to whats inside and possibly who its from... 

you grab the envelope and open it, its a list of what is inside the box as well as instructions. 

“this box contains the following items: - A-Line Scoop Neck Floor-Length Chiffon Prom Dresses With Beading Sequins in Ink Blue, - navy blue  Faux Fur Fashion Wrap, -a custom bracelet in rose gold, -a gold  Beautiful Rhinestone/Alloy Headband & -  Black Women's Leather Suede Heels Latin With Ankle Strap. do not open this box until the day of the formal. you will look beautiful. save me a dance or several.. love always Draco”

you sat back on the bed and smiled lightly as you tucked the box under your cousin’s bed and hid the note in your dresser, you giggled yourself to sleep that night. for you knew the next 2 days would be torture till the day of the formal anyway. 

you were the one person in this entire school who would ever take the dance not seriously. you were the only one whose heart would not allow you to fall in love with a person who did not share your heart. 

you woke the next morning to the sound of your alarm. you went to the closet and pulled out your uniform putting it on and grabbing your cloak before heading out of the room with your wand in your sock. 

YN (to self): i hope this doesnt mess up anything, tomorrow is gonna be a happy day. the next day is the formal, and I have the opportunity to show this school that even those who are rivals can become chill even in the midst of the old laws. i need to get to class so that way no one suspects anything. 

you made it to potions and smiled slightly as hermione was sitting beside your seat. draco had followed you inside. you knew that hermione could feel the happiness flowing out from you. 

You were the one person that Hermione could trust and likewise her for you. But it was now to your surprise that she passed you her notebook with a few simple words on it.

"Draco won't stop glancing at you. His pupils dilate when he stares at you. It's like he is mentally undressing you or something..."

You reply back with a simple phrase.

"he I'm sure is just removing a few layers, back to when we were in london and we went swimming in a private pool. We made out for hours. Now we will discuss this later."

you slid her back her notebook and both of you paid attention as snape decided to begin his lesson with a pop quiz type thing, you and hermione being the 2 smartest witches in the room decided to let the other students have a chance to answer the questions. 

Snape: yn tell me what is the common use of wolfsbane?

YN: wolfbane used to sedate or subdue a werewolf. it is also known as acanite or commonly found in the form of a blue flower, it is in some cases a rare find. 

Snape: and how exactly does one give wolfsbane to the werewolf?

YN: it has to be while its human, most times wolfsbane is used to snuff out the werewolves in human form before its too late. 

snape: i would like each of you to take one of these flowers and for the next class prepare to brew me some wolfsbane if you wish to pass. now before the end of class today copy down the board, we will be studying wolfsbane for the next week. 

you went to your notebook and copied down the board. it was very distracting when you knew your boyfriend was stealing glances at you...  this made it very hard to concentrate. 

you wrote a note on your notebook and slid it to your cousin... 

“im getting antsy, cuz i am really anxious...”

she replied with the typical responce.

“dont worry girl, im sure you both will have your alone time later... think about it this way, in 2 years you will be able to marry and there will be nothing anyone can say to stop you.”

you had to internally laugh...

“me married can you imagine that... god if i know much more about that than you do... by the way i am so nervous to see what is in that box... like what if it doesnt bring the correct appeal...”

you sighed as your cousin wrote her responce.

“chill girl, your gonna rock that formal... now finish your notes so you can get out of here and be with your man.”

You smiled as you finish your notes and wait for Snape to dismiss the class. You stared at the ceiling for a few moments trying to keep a cool head.

Snape: alright those who finished the notes can leave a few moments early, those who haven't you have 5 minutes to finish those notes.

You and Hermione got up and walked out of the class, you walked by where Draco was sitting you had used a slight of hand to slip him a note.

You knew he would read it after class, you also knew he would thank you for it later. But you and Hermione took off and walked back to the court yard.

Where you both parted ways you both had picked a random slot for your separate ways. You were off to the quidditch tent to prep for the upcoming Christmas match, Hermione headed to divination.

You were one of those few captains who would take half a period out of your entire day to spend it preparing for a match that was a week and a bit away.

You had to come up with a strategy that would knock your match out of the water. you could feel something strange something abnormal as you stood in the tent. 

the earth began to quake, the tent came down on your head before you could move out of the way.... you were covered in tent, and one of the tent pole was on you too heavy to move. 

you held your wand up... 

YN: periculum!

you sent the sparks and then passed out. you knew someone would possibly come find you. you had to have faith, you had too believe that one person above all others would see it. 

meanwhile, hermione had bumped into draco in the hall on the way to divination, she told draco that she last saw you in the courtyard... draco and hermione then saw the sparks. both of them went to find any professor they could cause that was the rules. 

they ended up spying mcgonigal, running up to her in a hurry they approach her with the news of the sparks. 

mcgonigal: miss granger, mr malfoy come with me we will investigate this immediately. 

the 3 of them hastely rushed toward the sparks, seeing the collapsed tent on arrival, mcgonigal waves her wand and sets the tent right, they all went inside and foudn you there after. 

mcgonigal transported herself plus you draco and hermione to the hospital wing. madame pomfry immediately got involved, she was pushing everyone back... but the only person who had to leave was minerva. 

hermione and draco now remained in the room to wait whether and when you would wake. your body had gone into a state of shock, the pole had bruised you a bit and thanks to the miracle potion that madame pomfry had administered to you, you were healing nicely. 

hermione: come on girl, come on we still have to rock this formal, come on please wake up come on cuz... we both need you to wake up. 

draco: don't you dare leave me, you can't, we haven't had any time. Come on YN wake up, open your eyes. We need to have our day in the sun! I need you to open your eyes so we can live our future together our way.

Madame pomfry heard what Draco said deciding not to say anything she just came back round to your bed side and administered a second dose of medicine.

Madame pomfry: take a bed each of you. Get some sleep, you both will be alerted first when she wakes. Try not to worry she will pull through she is a extraordinary girl.

Draco took a bed near you, Hermione took one on the other side of you. They wanted to be the first people's you saw when you woke up.

They tossed and turned but eventually both fell asleep. it was 8 hours later that an announcement rang through the school...

Minerva: attention students the quidditch field is off limits due to an investigation of recent events. someone brought the tent down on ravenclaw Yn. note that the perpetrator who is responsible if a student will be immediately expelled and sent to the ministry to await trial. we take this seriously. please be sure to make good notes for your fellow classmate as she is soon recovered in the hospital wing thanks to madame pomfry, classes go on as scheduled and the formal is still happening, thank you for your attention. 

both draco and hermione sat up a few moments after at the sound of your groans. they both looked at you in time for you to open your eyes. 

hermione: YN...

Draco: YN... your ok!

madame pomfry walked in at that moment as well to see you sit up. 

Madame Pomfry: YN your awake wonderful how are you feeling. 

YN: like i was hit by a unexpected brick wall what happened?

madame pomfry: you were found under the collapsed quidditch tent, you were brought to me bruised and unconcious. these 2 were among those who found you. you are pretty lucky you werent seriously injured. your bruising has gone down, you will stay in here for a few more hours then you can go back to your dorm. it is my recommendation that you get plenty of rest and then you go to the formal tomorrow and take it easy... your cousin will be allowed to stay with you tonight so she can make sure you get the rest you need. 

now that madame pomfry had come to see you hermione got off the cot she slept on and came to hug you... you flinched a bit but returned her embrace, Draco approached from the other side and touched your shoulder. 

hermione let go of you as she went to madame pomfry and began asking her for a written report for hermione to deliver to professor McGonagall. while both hermione and madame pomfry werent looking Draco came to sit on the edge of your bed, he smiled lightly... 

Draco: you are awake. i was so worried about you. 

 YN: strange thing is i dont recall the tent coming down. i remember being in there working on my strategy for the christmas exhibition match, when the earth shook and thats when everything went dark. i wasnt even done when everything happened. i am so sorry i worried you. 

Draco: you are such a brave girl, im very lucky to have you on my arm and by my side. i love you YN. 

YN: i love you too. now go do me a favor and take a shower and change your robes. no offense my love but you need to take a shower. 

Draco: i will take your advice... ill see you in a while. and ill have your homework... 

Draco took his leave to go take a shower and change his robes before class. he went to class but his mind was not completely there. the professors had already gathered a stack of notes for you, so while draco attended the classes he couldnt focus. that was not a good thing, especially for his grades. 

but the professors understood, for they all knew he clearly had other things going on, for at this time you and draco were out to the school. no one questioned why draco wasnt fully paying attention, they just hoped you would be okay. 

a few hours passed, hermione brought you your casual dress to get you back to the dorm. as your fellow students watched you and hermione walk back to the dorms. you smiled slightly at draco who just watched you in passing like any normal rivalry. 

the next few hours were spent with different people coming in to do different shifts of watching you, helping you, taking care of you. finally it was the tutoring time. you were told to be on bed rest, but when hermione didnt return to the dorm you figured she had arranged something. 

Draco knocked at the door before he entered. once he came into view he was entranced by how stunning you looked sitting there, with your pet cat in your lap. (*yes okay yes i realize that this is the first time i mention the reader’s pet... sue me i forgot about that part till just now.*) 

YN: hey.

Draco: i brought you the notes and stuff from classes. YN i feel so awful about what you went through i....

thats when you placed your finger to his lips this shut him up immediately.

YN: its not your fault, there was nothing you could have done. i went to the tent it was my choice. please i dont want you to blame yourself for what happened. lets just focus on the formal. now i want to thank you for the box... and before you say that it isnt from you or that you have no idea what im talking about. the magic signature on the card on the box belonged to you love.  i havent looked inside, but i know that when i show up at the formal im gonna look absolutely smashing. 

Draco: i have to use the money my father sends me somehow, so i went to the shop, and i picked everything out with the measurements that i got from hermione of course. plus it matches us a bit... anyway, here are the notes i had a few questions i knew you could help me solve. snape wants me and you to be among the first to brew the wolfsbane. he says it will be a easy task or at least for you it will be. he also said that you need to submit your formula on wolfsbane by fire message before the end of the day. 

You quickly did that as Draco said it, he looked at you with curious concern in his eyes. he stayed with you for a few hours explaining what happened in the classes you missed. handing you the assignments, letting you explain what he didnt understand. 

*TIME SKIP: the rest of that evening went by pretty quick, you spent time tutoring Draco, who left when your cousin walked back into the room. you were now spending time chattering with her over the hair styles for the formal the next day. well you and hermione got an early sleep for the next day would sure be a busy one. now we go to the showers where you have just arrived to stretch out and begin your day.*

you were in your stall, mulling things over under the hot water. your brain swimming with thousands of thoughts, ones that made you begin humming, something you do quite often and in different situations you hum different songs. in this case it was something celtic something haunting some sort of ancient melody that haunts your very soul.

your hum echoed through the castle. no one could figure out where the sound was coming from except your cousin. for she had heard you hum that tune many numerous times before. 

Hermione: so you thinking again?

you snapped out of your hum, for you had not realized that another person could have walked into the room, never mind your own cousin. 

YN: just got some butterflies about tonight... H what if this doesnt go the way we think it will... 

Hermione: well cuz if you think about it this way, people will expect the rivalry to still take place during the event no one will expect the rivalry to be non existant during the event. to see 2 people who arent normally friends acting like friends even if for one night will do us all proud. now hurry up so we can go open the box to see what your man gave you... 

YN: ah yes thank you for reminding me cuz, thank you for giving draco the information he needed to get these things for me.. i appreciate it a ton. 

Hermione: no to worry cuz you are gonna look beautiful. now hurry up or you will look like a prune... 

 you finished cleaning up, you dryed off and wrapped up in your housecoat to go back to your dorm. twas the only way you were comfortable. your cousin right beside you both of you discussing your hair and what the hell you would do with it. 

Hermione  and you now sat in your dorm and just stared at the box between you both, the blue box that had tormented you for 2 days now sat between you ready for the unveiling of what lay inside. 

you removed the note and slowly undid the ribbon binding the box shut. you reached down to ope the lid, the first thing you saw was the dress, picking it up you stood spinning around holding the dress against your form.

YN: remind me to thank him for this...

hermione: oh im sure just wearing this tonight will thank him enough for this. now come on lets see what else is in here… 

you lay the dress over your cousins lap as you reach into the box and pull out a fashion wrap…

YN: isnt this basically just a cape?

Hermione: yes it is but we dont speak of that… lol it is nice and it looks like it goes in matching with the dress. 

you lay that as well over your cousins lap and pull out a small bag.

YN: wnder what this is…

Hermone: well it must be valuable in order to require its own packaging inside of packaging, 

you ope the baggie to reveal a custom bracelet. 

Hermione: ive seen those before, you can get it engraved with whatevr you want particularly used for couples. 

you flip it over and look at the enraving, “Yn & Draco always and forever 08-22”

you smiled ear to ear, little giggles left your lips, happily of course as you attached the bracelet to your wrist. once it was attached you reached into the box to pull out the next item again another baggie a bit bigger than the last. you opened it to reveal a gold headband. 

YN: so he is gona treat me like a queen

Hermione: at least i dont have to worry about you. 

YN: but you still will anyway cause thats just how you are cuz!

hermione: come on girl whats the last thing in the box.

You reach into the box and pull out a pair of leather strap short heals and smile. 

Hermione: lets become fabulous. cause we all know thats a crime in itself but we have 5 hours before we have to be there for presentations and plus the rivals have the first dance as is in the announcement this year. 

you had forgotten that the ministry had made that announcement… since fudge was supposed to make an appearance at the dance. He wanted to see the rivals of the school have the honor of first dance. It was a new tradition and would remain so for generations to come. 

First was to get dressed. You went behind the change cover, you put on your strapless and a nice pair of seamless bottoms. You were now ready for the dress, but you realized that there was a bra built into the dress already. Well at least into one part of it. ****A/N: yes i know that this wasnt mentioned but the dress that im describing is a two piece, it was one i had done my research on and liked the way it looked in the color scheme i was using for this story. Okay back to the story.****

You removed your strapless as now you knew you didnt need it. You pulled on the skirt fiestas to make sure that you were good in that department. You kinda did a half twirl and then put on the top, well you couldnt do it up as the zipper was at the back. 

YN: hey cuz, can you zip me up?

Hermione: a zipper… how does it look 

YN: its a 2 piece… its in my house color, its soft fabric it feels soft against my skin. 

Hermione: well come out and hold yourself in place. 

You stepped out from behind the shield and watched your cousin turn around in her dress. You both squealed in happiness for it made you both happy to know that you both looked amazing! Hermione did your top up and both of you stood side by side in the mirror.  

Hermione: cuz we need to photo shoot this in the mirror, we are still sure of this plan, we are so certain that this is the night the school will accept the possibility of a union between you and draco. I mean when are you guys planning to tell everyone about your relationship anyway. 

YN: no idea, it hasnt been discussed to much, we know we need to tell everyone we just dont know when or how. But when we do it will be a big event. Alright on a different note ive set the mirror to do the photo shoot of us its taking 5 very precisely timed shots. So lets wing it. Nice one first so we can duplicate it and send it to our folks then we go from there. 

Pose 1: normal, side by side and looking your best. 

Pose 2: charlies angels, missing an angel but smiling anyway

Pose 3: the shocked first look in outfit (hermione shocked at seeing you)

Pose 4: parting the sea, back to back looking away

Pose 5: and finally the hug it out moment

You went round to the window to stare down at the world, the school looked all decorated for the formal and the sound of people gathering around the grounds, the concorse full of people and visitors. You strapped on your shoes and your cousin finished your hair and applied your wrap. 

you wondered how the night would look, you wondered if anyone would question the less amounts of tension between you and Draco.

You wondered alot of things but a knock at the door brought you back to earth. You turned to see Harry and Ron standing at the door. 

Harry: wow, ladies you both look amazing! 

You and Hermione smile as Harry hands you something from minerva

Yn: it's professor McGonagall she wants to see me, says it's of great importance. 

Hermione: that's okay I'll walk down with the boys. Go go… 

You walk out of the room and go as fast as possible without tripping and falling to where you knew the professor would be. 

Minerva: ah YN you look lovely..  

Yn: thank you professor, I got your note you wanted to see me. 

Minerva: yes as you may have heard by now this year the Minister of magic is attending the formal as a honored guest, he has requested that you and Mr malfoy be honored guests as your rivalry is legendary as well as you and Mr malfoy will be receiving something special from the minister. He wants to commend you both on jobs well done this year. Your main task for the dance is to start the dancing off, now i know that you are a little sensitive YN so if you need a minute to process this before we make the announcement and before your fellow classmates begin to gather. 

YN: ya could i actually have a minute… where do i enter from?

Minerva: you will enter from the right side of the staircase, mr malfoy will enter from the left, just be there and ready for the announcement. 

You went round to the right side of the staircase and began pacing, letting your brain sort itself out to be able to go out there and not kiss Draco in front of everyone. 

To not run straight into his arms, to be able to just be a boy and a girl with no connection other than their rivalry for one night. 

That Un be known to you would be the case on this night you would be just a girl, and Draco would just be a boy who would be spending time together during the formal. 

Draco (to self): OK tonight can not go wrong, it's just one night to be just a boy and just a girl. I know she is probably nervous but she will be her normal brilliant self, i will be charming and pleasant and this evening will take the rivalship between me and YN to an 11. I hope she isnt overthinking things. 

You on the other side of things were overthinking everything that could go right and everything that could go wrong. You were also talking to yourself and pacing and borderline freak out. 

YN(to self): i cant do this, i can do this… what am i saying tonight is gonna go horrible… something is gonna mess this night up and screw up the entire eco system that is a almost 2 year secret… i wonder what it would be like if draco and i were out to the school and the public eye as a couple… what am i saying that would be a disaster. The ministry, the school, my parents, his parents, our friends, everyone would reject us… we would end up living as muggles for the rest of our lives, we would be exiled from the wizard records, we would have our legacy dragged through the dirt or worse. 

That's when you heard Dracos voice in the wind. 

Draco: don't stress babe, I'll be right by your side the entire time, trust me babe… Then we will happily go outside for some air later. Now let's get ready… and don't worry about a thing love. 

Thats when you had calmed down a bit more, and listened to mcgonigal speak.

Minerva: settle down everyone, before we all enter the great hall, it gives me great pleasure to introduce 2 people who im sure need no introduction, their rivalry is legendary amongst the entire student body. The minister himself asked that these 2 be given a very special entrance, ladies and gentlemen to kick off tonights winter formal i proudly present YN and Draco.

That was yours and Dracos cues to walk out from cover and down the stairs. All eyes were on the 2 of you as you both united in the center between the 2 staircases. 

Draco: in all my years at hogwarts never have I ever been so lucky in all I do, for my rival and I we know that we will make hogwarts proud in all we do and one day who knows maybe we will end up teaching here as well one day. But our rivalry won't end with graduation or parting for one final time. You all shall hear of our rivalry far and wide as we continue the rivalry even outside of hogwarts. Sorry for the speech slur but I figured on behalf of all of us we should make a statement. 

Draco then held his arm for you to take. That you did and both of you walked the rest of the steps together, the only person who you both stopped to acknowledge was the minister. 

Fudge: in all my time as minister for magic, i have never seen 2 people who just go from rivals one minute to just pleasant normal students, almost like the bond of your rivalry has brought you both closer together. Tell me YN did you ever see yourself and mr malfoy here being friends maybe. 

YN: i honestly can say no i have not seen that possibility but there is an ever changing future and i look forward to seeing what it may hold, if per chance one day this rivalry of ours becomes obsolete we will im sure become the best of friends, as long as that would be viewed as a good thing in the eyes of the ministry of course. 

Fudge: friendship is never an issue… now let the formal commence, music… 

You and draco walk onto the dancefloor, you both had not danced outside of the astronomy tower before you both were unsure of how to act. 

Draco placed one hand on your waist and one hand on your hand. The music started and you both began to move with the music, but no one would be able to hear your conversation….

Draco: you look wonderful tonight…

YN: thank you, i mean it wasnt hard to figure out who sent these wonderful items, but that was also a given considering we talk one minute about the formal and the fact i didnt have anything to wear and the next minute there is a mysterious box with a note saying that the dress and stuff was in the box made me smile. I figured it out when i saw the box, before i read the note. 

Draco: was it that obvious?

YN: yes it was but thats ok, cause i know that tonight we arent rivals, we are just 2 people who happen to be a big part of the school and its events. I honestly didnt know that this was what we had to do till i got mcgonigals note. 

Draco: well tonight will be special i promise. 

YN: ill hold you to it. 

Draco just smiled as more people joined you on the dancefloor, after a few songs you and Draco went to get something to drink. You both picked a table and sat down beside eachother, so as to have a civizled conversation. 

Draco: any plans to go home for break?

YN: nope, as far as my parents are concerned i am staying at the school and just helping minerva… its not like i have much at home anyway. I mean sure my parents are there and they love me but i dont want to go home, see my parents start getting back into my home life routine and then have to come back to hogwarts… its just too hard. Thats why i stopped going home for break, thats why i stay here and help the professors keep the school over break. 

Draco: well what would you say if i stay here as well over break… think of it as we are on one continuous date for 2 weeks. 

YN: now that i would enjoy. But i think we should tell the school… somehow… someway… but we shouldnt wait too much longer, we dont know what the consequences will be… 

Draco: i know you are right… i…

Just as he was about to speak again the minister came up to both of you pulling up a seat beside you… 

Cornielious: having a good time tonight…

YN: yes we are minister thank you… we were just discussing what the tutoring schedule will look like over the next bit before our owls and winter break. 

Draco: are you having a good time minister?

Cornielious: its like nothing has changed at hogwarts, this party is fantastic, it is a good time, it also gives me a break from my work at the ministry.. Oh YN your mom and dad said to say hi… i have them checking into a few strange occurrences for magic bursts. 

YN: well you certainly picked the right people for the job, i know my parents well enough to know that they wont quit a case if there are no leads… as my mom always the hardest case is the easiest case for the answer is staring you in the face. 

All 3 of you start laughing as the music changes again and one student exclaims…

Student A: its snowing!!!

All the students  continued to dance as the music changed to more slow songs, you and draco decided to try to slow dance again. But no one would have predicted the scene that would happen about quarter way into the dance. 

You were having a small convo with draco and he decided to kiss you on the cheek. No one else noticed, your cousin however smart and brilliant for she non vocally slowed time a bit to the point of you and draco could recover and pretend that it didnt happen.

But a few students and teachers noticed… this made you go bright red, you backed away from Draco and turned to run through the crowd, grabbing your cape and going out the doors down the stairs and into the rose garden. 

Time resumed but no one said anything, all they saw was you running out of the great hall and draco standing in the center of the dance floor. Hermione started to move toward the door but saw draco run after you… he realized he made a mistake. She went to explain to the professors what happened and the dance was resumed. 

Draco followed your footprints and got into the maze… he located you in the center of the maze, he was very careful to approach. But you were already aware that he had followed you. 

YN: no need to be cautious, i know you are there…

Draco came fully round the corner and became visible as he appeared in front of you. 

Draco: im so sorry about that in there love. It was… well i just…. I mean… 

YN: its okay i understand what happened… heat of the moment and all. But as my cousin has told me telepathically of course is that she has spoken to those who saw this happen and she told them that it was nothing special. It was just a simple slip of the moment. But she harry ron and crab and goyle all know the truth… one day we will tell the rest of the students and the professors but for now…

Thats when he threw a snowball at you… well now he had started something, this fight went on for a few moments before you realized that he was close enough to you & that you guys were still alone and that no one would know if you shared a moment under the falling snow… 

YN: tonight just being normal was amazing! Thank you so much for this… 

Draco: there is one more thing i feel like we should do… one thing that we are gonna do to remember this moment, how we looked on the floor and for anyone that wants a memory of tonight, i know i will and i know our friends will but we also need to start making memories for our children to see one day… so here is one for the history books...

You didnt have time to respond before he kissed you. the snow falling on your faces and the calm night air made this night even better to just be there together. 

~to be continued~