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gyuswhore · 1 year ago

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Fifteen to Forever

"I can’t not be happy when I know I have you."

PAIRING: hockeyplayer!choi seungcheol x f!reader

SYNOPSIS: Fifteen was the age you had met Choi Seungcheol at a school hockey game. Forever was the age you would find yourself spending with him.

CONTAINS: fluff, angst, smut (MINORS DNI), growing up, tears (a lot), distance, this is so emotional you will be in your feels, kissing, p in v sex (unprotected), clit stimulation, handjobs, happy endings bc we love them, i think that's it

WORD COUNT: 6k

masterlist

[AN]: thank you so much @ressonancee for birthing the idea of hockey player cheol in the first place, reading over some of the bits and helping me w some of the plot!!! ty for letting me ramble in your dms lol. hockeyplayer!cheol WILL reappear in other fics bc I'm obsessed with the idea, for now, I hope you enjoy this angsty fluffy creation <33

It wasn’t until the last echo of the slammed car door had faded that you realized, yes, mom, I do actually want you to go in with me.

But alas, as the last tresses of exhaust from her car fade into nothingness, you accept that you’d have to do this alone. Gripping the straps of your brand new backpack helps you ground yourself as the increasingly erratic breathing takes over you. It sinks in now that you’re alone.

There’s a honk, and you realize you’re still frozen in the drop-off zone, the mom in the Subaru not appreciating the 7 AM delay to drop off her own high schooler. You wonder if her kid would let her drop them off inside.

Scurrying into the entrance of the open gates, you find the courtyard full. Huddles of teens laughing and yelling despite the early morning hour, not a spare square foot on the grass. You try to find someone who looks like an adult but fail, hoping you’ll be luckier once you’re inside the building.

You do find yourself lucky as you find a line of teachers at the entrance, ready to greet the new batch of freshmen on their first day of high school. There are a few other kids who look as tense as you, but you feel better with the way the administrator pats your shoulder as she hands you your schedule, assigning you to a lanky sophomore to show you around the building that’d become your second home for the next four years.

Jeonghan tells you his name as he leads you into your homeroom, where you deposit your bag before going back out. He’s peculiar, you decide. He tells you to never walk without looking at the floor on Monday mornings to save your shoes from the occasional start-of-the-week breakfast hurl. He tells you in the cafeteria that the lasagna was horrible, but not the sloppy joes; the sloppy joes were good. He tells you in the gym that the coach would let you off if you rubbed a little eyeliner under your eyes, “he’s an empath.”

By the time he’s listing off clubs and teams, you feel a little less nervous, pushing you back into your fuller homeroom with a sign-up sheet and a goodbye. You don’t get to say thank you.

Kwon Soonyoung slips into the empty seat next to you, introducing himself a little louder than you’d anticipated, but you suppose you needed the enthusiasm. He innocently slips you his home number and hopes out loud that you’d be the best of friends.

You get in the car that afternoon, responding with a wider-than-expected smile at your mother inquiring about your day.

“It was great! I think I’ll like it here.”

You found it strange that the rink was so packed for a high school hockey game, but that was before you saw the ten-foot banner and face paint. Soonyoung sits on your right as Jiwoo places herself on your left, both donned in blue and yellow, sandwiching your uncoordinated outfit. For whatever reason, you’d thought movies exaggerated the hype around high school sports, yet the support for the boys entering the rink roars into your ears to prove you wrong.

They win, and with the way the rest of the team pats him on the back after sending in the last puck, you assume it’s all thanks to the boy with the Choi on the back of his jersey.

He removes his helmet, hair flopping into his eyes as you realize you know him. He was always in the cafeteria with Jeonghan, the boy who gave you a tour on your first day, along with many other boys from his year. It was hard not to notice them with the ruckus they were always causing, yet you found them easy to drown out with the rest of the noise.

“What’s his first name? The guy with the 08 on his back?” you ask Soonyoung.

“Oh, that’s Seungcheol. Dude’s a fucking progidy or something.”

“Prodigy,” Jiwoo corrects.

“Yeah, that. Jihoon said the only reason they got to finals last year was ‘cause of this guy.”

You watch as he drinks from his bottle from the benches, smiling at his coach and teammates as they debriefed. At least you were guessing that was happening; the only thing you were thinking about was how you could hear his laugh from where you sat. And how it was making you smile, too.

You stare at your worn shoes that glow in multicolors as the beats in the gym warp and stagger through the speaker. You’re on your third punch, finding yourself awkward without something to occupy at least one hand.

You had danced a little with Jiwoo, watched with bright eyes as Soonyoung dance off-ed yet another senior to his victory, giggled as you let another freshman, Jun, take Jiwoo away for the next dance. You now lace the edges of the party, taking a breather as you down the remnants of your punch, already trailing the memorized path to the snack table. Maybe you’ll try some of the lemonade this time.

There’s already somebody occupying the lemonade cooler when you get there, back to you as you patiently wait for him to finish up. He moves away, leaning against the table. He takes a sip from his cup, and you move forward to fill your own.

It’s Seungcheol. You recall his name as you recognize his face. He somehow looks as haphazard as you last saw him from yesterday’s hockey game.

If he had come in with a tie, it’s long gone as he has his collar popped and shirt unbuttoned the first few steps. It doesn’t end there as you note the hair that dresses his eyes, soaked in what you cannot imagine is water with the way you saw someone with a similar build typhoon across the floor with nearly as much vigor as Soonyoung has had tonight.

He’s downing the cup in haste, and you take a sip of the slightly tart drink as you debate if you should say something.

“You did really well yesterday. Congrats,” you decide to say.

He emerges from his cup to acknowledge you sipping on your own lemonade, “Oh, thanks. Were you there?”

“Oh, yeah, I was. First hockey game, went with my friends,” you let out a little chuckle, not understanding why you suddenly felt so awkward.

“Cool,” he answers plainly, mouth glistening and posture stagnant. “You’re friends with Soonyoung, right? Seen him hang around Jihoon a lot.”

“Yeah, he’s — he’s friends with everybody,” you laugh a little, and you hear him laugh with you.

“How do you handle him? He’s giving a run for everybody’s money out there,” he gestures to the dance floor with a smile.

“He mellows out after a while; he’s just excited,” you say, understanding his bewilderment.

“How’re you finding high school so far?” he asks when he runs out of things to say, yet forgets that he can easily excuse himself. But he doesn’t.

“Pretty alright. I’m having fun so far.” You don’t need to ask him the same, knowing well that the sophomore was having the time of his life.

“Good to hear, hope it stays that way for you.”

It’s another painful five seconds before you see Jiwoo waving at you from afar, pointing at something Soonyoung is doing.

“Uh, I’ll see you around, my friend’s waving me over–”

“Oh, sure, uh, I’ll see you around.”

You give him one more tight-lipped smile as you wave from waist length before retreating.

“Wait!”

You turn around at his voice.

“I never got your name.”

Seungcheol took you on your first not-date in the spring.

Not-date because neither of you had labeled it as such, but you were pushed to reconsider when both Jiwoo and Soonyoung insisted.

He had brought his car that you slipped into after school to drive to the movies, where he bought you popcorn and paid for both of your tickets. He held your hand as you walked out of the theatre, wide-eyed and all smiles as you discussed the film you had just sat through for two hours.

His palm fit in yours like it belonged there, and maybe it was your fifteen-year-old brain talking. Still, you never expected to be this comfortable with him — especially after the possible insinuation your friends had instilled.

He drove you home that night as you searched for a million excuses to stay a little longer in his car as he parked in front of your door. But alas, you open the car door at the end of the night and are surprised to find him doing the same as he walks around to where you get out.

“I had a lot of fun today,” you say in your rehearsed line.

“Me too,” he smiles. “The weather’s getting nicer, we should see the cherry blossoms next weekend. If you wanted to. We can take the car again.”

He didn’t kiss you, at least not on the lips as he hugged you at your front door and pressed his lips to your cheek.

You were quick to squeak out your goodbyes after that happened, slamming your door shut as you vaguely heard him drive off.

With a hand to your racing heart, you count to ten. Perhaps you’d reconsider that not-date after all. Besides, you had cherry blossoms to look forward to.

Choi Seungcheol kissed you, really kissed you, when he brought the team to the cup they missed out on last year, throwing himself at you as soon as you appeared before him. He was sweaty, half-dressed in his gear with his skates still on as he embraced you tighter than anyone ever had before.

He put his lips on yours the second he saw your face as you pulled away, unable to help himself despite the groans and retches of his teammates, despite the fact that an entire bleacher’s worth of people saw you both.

Not that either of you cared; you were just happy he didn’t have his mouth guard on (and that he kissed you before you couldn’t help it yourself).

It was in your junior year and Seungcheol’s senior year that you began to hear the absurdities about the strength of your relationship, that you wouldn’t make it, that high school sweethearts never do.

With shaking hands, you grip your boyfriend’s arm as he has a conflicted look in his eye.

“No,” you say. You wonder where all of this strength was coming from when you all wanted was to cry. “You’re gonna go. You will go. I won’t let you throw all of this away because of something that’s never gonna waver.”

He’s silent as he refuses to meet your gaze. The voices were getting to him, his older college friends laughing when he suggested that his relationship would last both college and the distance it would bring. He realizes he’s not so sure anymore.

He sits cross-legged in front of you on your bedroom floor, mentally prepared to walk out for the last time.

“You’re supposed to be happiest about this; I don’t understand why you insist I leave. And so far away?” he looks slightly bewildered.

“Because you’ll regret it if you don’t. This isn’t about me, Cheol, it’s about everything you’ve worked for all these years—”

“Us, what about us? I’ve worked on us, too.”

“Why have you gone years without listening to a word what other people say to only listening to them now?”

“Was it just me, then? Because it feels like I’m the only one worried about our future together—”

“Choi Seungcheol, stop right there.” Your voice is brittle, and you don’t know how long you can keep the tears at bay.

“I…I don’t know what to think,” his shoulders slump even lower.

His hockey scholarship would take him so, so far away. He thought you were strong enough for this, but with every anecdote, every comment, every dejected “have it your way” to his resilience, he wonders if the both of you would be forced to fight a losing battle if he left.

There were sports universities here at home, but there was no you with his scholarship.

“I’ll tell you what to think. Will you listen to me?”

Slowly, but surely, he nods.

“You can get the scholarship you’ve always wanted, and we can stay as we are, although a little farther away.”

He looks like he wants to say something but doesn’t.

“I believe in us. And if you don’t right now, I’m ready to believe for the both of us. We’ll get through this.”

In the end, Seungcheol believed you over everything the world told him, praying he wouldn’t let you or himself down as he laid with you on the last night he’d call his bedroom home.

Graduation was a happy endeavor, momentarily forgetting what lay ahead as he enjoyed his last hours with all his friends in one place. The heavy feeling returned as the night progressed, agreeing to spend the night with him, tucked under his covers as you listened to his heartbeat. You wonder how long it will be until you're able to do this again.

As you lay in his stripped bedroom, there’s little either of you say, an unspoken agreement to not sleep, not tonight. He has an early morning, but he doesn’t really seem to care as he continues to fiddle with your hair, kissing you at intervals like he's trying to bring back the feeling when it begins to fade.

There’s little you can talk about when you’re trying to memorize each other’s scent. You remind yourself to give him your sweater when morning comes, already noting the hoodie you need to remember to pick up, the lone one he left you in his closet.

But as the first rays of sun peeked through the blinds, sending stripes of sun into the bedroom, you tried not to feel the hard clench of your heart as the bare room came into sight. Despite the snoozing of alarms, the multiple knocks on his door, and the dawn of a new day, you let yourselves have an extra five, ten, fifteen, twenty minutes.

Just you and him before it would be you, and it would be him.

Seungcheol called you more than you called him. It was everywhere, even if it was just to say a quick “I love you” before a game, to hear your voice before he went to class, to listen to you complain about an assignment before he had to do his own.

As resilient as you showed yourself to be, you’d be lying if you said there was a part of you that was afraid of how much faith Seunghceol held for the both of you, but at ease you were with the constant bugging he’d do and the bugging he seemed to appreciate back.

By Christmastime, he’d texted you his itinerary for the holidays, explaining how he couldn’t spare a second to things like thinking. Most of his list involved spending all day rotting indoors with you.

As much as Seungcheol had hoped you’d pick a college nearer to him, he was less scared when you finally announced your college decisions close to graduation. The past year had proved a lot, mostly that you both were stronger than the distance. Which is why he was the first to congratulate you when you got into the college of your choice, despite the fact that you’d be even farther away, leaving home in what felt like the opposite direction to him.

You were scared too, mostly of how Seungcheol would react, but seeing the smile break out on his face when you told him gave you all the reassurance you needed. That summer brought you the best memories of your teenage years, with Seungcheol, preparing for you both to leave. Except this time, the air was less tense, fewer tears shed, fewer solemn goodbyes at airport gates, and less desperation in both of your hearts. A surety that you’d come back to each other.

Seungcheol was offered a contract with his dream hockey team when you were on the cusp of your final year. He told you nearly two weeks after he received the first email, not believing it until he was pestered to do so by the representative.

You cried on the phone that night, the ache in your chest unbelievably present as you wished you could hug him at that moment. He denied his own tears, but you knew his glassier-than-normal eyes weren’t just through the camera lens. You told him you were proud, you told him this was only the beginning, that you needed to sit in the bleachers with his jersey on for every game he’ll ever play, that he was about to have an entire career to be proud of soon.

He let a couple tears slip.

And when he showed up to your graduation, sitting next to your family, you gave him the biggest hug you could muster from your bones. That year may have been the last you’d have to endure apart, but it was somehow the hardest.

It was in that moment, when you pulled away to look at his smiling face, that the years registered in your mind.

You’re fifteen again, seeing Seungcheol for the first time, donning the features he hadn’t grown into yet, the features you hadn’t grown into yet. You have to tiptoe to meet his lips now, see a man where there was once a boy, the deep set of maturity behind his pretty eyes.

When he drops the last of your boxes into his — your shared apartment, you’re brought to the stark realization that you're going to stay here.

It’s when you’re unpacking your toothbrush, placing it in the cup right next to his that you realize you could do whatever you wanted with each other without having to work around flight schedules. It’s when he’s hobbling around wooden planks and screws in the bedroom, putting together the brand new queen-sized bed to replace his too-small twin, that you realize that you weren’t here for the week, or for the month or for any set amount of time; you were here forever.

At least that’s what you hope as you watch him collapse the last of the cardboard boxes to recycle, shoving in the corner of the entryway, leaving that job for tomorrow.

By the time you emerge in the living room after a shower, Seungcheol has already begun to unpack the delivery food on the coffee table. It’s an array of delicious smells, slightly soggy food, and mounds of styrofoam and plastic wrap; a feast for your tired, tired bodies.

The dumplings are amazing, and the warm feeling in your chest expands as you realize you can now order them whenever you like.

Seungcheol picks out the chopped chilies from his food, migrating them onto your own plate as he talks about his next practice session without interruption.

A thought occurs to you in that moment as you watch him down his cola. “Hasn’t coach put you on a diet plan?”

“Yeah,” he says normally. You merely stare at him, not understanding how any of this junk could be any good for his form, especially when you know he’s good about abstaining when it comes to training.

He smiles at the questioning look on your face, setting down his utensils, “It’s our first meal, in our first home. I think we deserve to share this with each other.”

A smile breaks out on your face at the thought of this being your first meal, the first of many meals together in this home. Of all the meals you’ll share in every home after this, every day.

And while Seungcheol finds himself sacrificing his diet to enjoy all of this greasy grub with you, you will also find yourself occasionally sharing his awfully bland chicken breasts and salads. All to share with each other.

Walking into the bustling restaurant in your uncomfortable shoes and your arm around Seungcheol’s, you’re quick to find the group you’re looking for.

The noise is a dead giveaway, and you quickly realize they haven’t changed.

You hear Soonyoung before you see him, his distinct laugh echoing the loudest across the sea of mingling heads. A loud banner hangs at the end of the room with your high school grad year.

You detach from Seungcheol as he finds his junior friends, and you find yours, taking both Soonyoung and Jiwoo into a bone-crushing hug. It’s been a while since you last saw them. The crowd of familiar faces greets you, making small talk with everyone as they introduce you to their partners and even their children. You’ve grown; all of you have.

“Seungcheol’s here too. You guys were together in high school, right?” somebody asks you at some point during the night. “He graduated before us, though; wonder who he’s here with.”

You don’t blame them for assuming, considering both of you have been in your own circles all night. That, added to the obvious assumptions of high school sweethearts, you only laugh a little as you reply with a wider-than-usual smile.

“Oh, he’s here with me,”

You go home with a permanent smile stuck to your face, talking more animatedly than usual in the car ride home. Seuncheol mirrors your smile as he listens.

Your good mood prevails for the rest of the night, even as you slip under the covers, ready to end the night on a happier-than-usual note. Seungcheol is reading his book when you crawl under his arm, head on his chest, and your arm slung across his torso. You feel his lips on the top of your head, the faint sound of his book being placed on the bedside table.

“What’s got you so smiley?” he asks with one of his own.

You shake your head as you reply, “Nothing. I’m just happy I saw Soonyoung and Jiwoo.”

“I’m glad you saw them too. It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

You hum in response, suddenly remembering a conversation you had. “You know, Jess asked me who you were there with.”

“Figures,” he shrugs before laughing a little.“How much did she hesitate before asking you?”

“Looked like she was holding it in for a little bit. Don’t blame her, though. She probably thought we ended it in epic teenage fashion.”

He snorts at that, “Probably would’ve if you didn’t talk some sense into me.”

“Probably would’ve if you didn’t trust me like you did,” you crane your neck to look at him.

“Glad I wasn’t that far gone,” he whispers, a faraway look in his eyes despite looking directly at you. “Haven’t doubted us ever since.”

There’s that warm feeling that spreads throughout your body, an overwhelming feeling of contentment coming over you. There was nothing, nothing, that could convince you to be anywhere else, especially anywhere that wasn’t in his arms.

“Sometimes…well, a lot of the times, I think about us,” you start. “I thought us hitting six months was enough to tell me I’d be with you forever.”

He smiles at the thought of high school you, starry-eyed, awkward little kids. He remembers the way you blushed when he kissed you for the first time in front of the whole school, the heat that had risen to his own face at the time.

“And then we hit a year, and then two years,” you remember every surprise for every anniversary, from when you’d collect your allowance for weeks to get him something he’d like.

“And then college happened. I tried being so positive, but I had never been more scared for us. I hope we never have to go through something that hard ever again.” You almost sound like a child not wanting to go to the doctor’s office, but with the way you feel yourself tighten your grip around him, you don’t think it’s any different.

You can feel your eyes begin to well, and your voice begins to shake. It was nearly comical how quickly the smiles were turning into sentimental tears.

Seungcheol places a kiss on your lips, and you know it was meant to be reassuring, but it only wrenches open the floodgates. The tears begin to make their way down your face, sniffles muffled as you go back to burying your face in his chest, his shirt soaking the wetness. You can feel a rumble in his chest as he laughs at your state. He’s also squeezing up your sides and placing kisses in any place he can reach.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” you murmur into his shirt.

“It’s okay. Today was very reflective,” he reassures, letting you stay hidden.

“I just—” you sniff. “I just wanna stay happy like this all the time.”

It’s only then that he guides your stained face away from his shirt to bring you to look at him, wiping the remnants of your tears as you try to keep the fresh ones at bay. “We’ll be happy, even when we’re sad. I can’t not be happy when I know I have you. I love you too much for that.”

“I love you,” you whisper into his lips, arms around his neck as you pull yourself to him, chest to chest. You kiss him properly, pecking him a few times to have your fill.

And then he’s pulling away, ever so slightly to bring a bare millimeter of gap between your lips. His hands burn where they rest, one on your waist, one on your thigh. He’s breathing hard. Both of you are.

“I’m gonna say something so not fit for right now,” he breathes.

You can’t help but freeze in his hold as you register his words, hesitating before you ask. “What?”

“Marry me.”

It comes out as the same whisper, directly into your lips as he utters the words. Like he was keeping a secret from the walls and the furniture, like they were only meant for you; because they were only meant for you. Your heart stops, and you vaguely wonder if you’re breathing at all.

“I—” he takes a long, shaky breath from his nose. “I was supposed to do this a little differently, but…”

You watch him reach over into his bedside drawer, the one you never touch, and bring out the smallest velvet box. Opening it reveals the prettiest, most delicate diamond you’ve ever seen, the jewel glinting and sparkling even in the dim bedroom lights.

That’s when you let out a tiny gasp, feeling the tears return, dripping down your face one after the other. “Choi Seuncheol, you bitch.”

You’re sobbing at this point, and it has him sitting up straighter, leaving the box to the side as he lurches for you when you pull away.

“Wait, fuck, sorry, I thought,” he exhales in frustration, hands trying to pull yours away from your face as you cry into your hands. He sounds desperate. “I got carried away, I don’t know what I was thinking—”

“No, it’s not that,” you finally manage through hiccups.

“Yes, of course, I’ll marry you, I’m just fucking emotional.”

You hear him laugh again, no doubt out of pure relief, as he nearly doubles over at the situation.

You’re a little calmer as you continue to sniffle, watching him with a half-disgruntled, half-amused expression, “Put it on, stupid, or do I need to cry again for you to do that.”

You don’t need to tell him twice as he slips the ring on your finger, the perfect fit, the perfect jewel, the perfect ring.

Bringing him closer, you kiss him again, lips pressed hard on his as you try to communicate every last emotion into it. You’re out of words, and you hope he knows what you're feeling. You know he knows; he always knows.

He’s reciprocating with the same vigor, arms coming up to wrap around you so tight it pushes you flush against his body. He nips at your lip, running his tongue over it for good measure before letting it enter your mouth. You let him take the lead, let him guide you through every motion, every step forward.

You’re putty when he pulls off your clothes for you, feeling your heart scream in protest whenever he pulls away to get rid of the obstructions. Your emotions were in a delicate place, and you suddenly couldn’t handle not being able to feel him against you consistently.

He does well to make it quick, moving back on top of you to occupy your mouth once more. He tries to migrate lower, latching onto your neck to continue his ministrations there, but you don’t let him as you pull his face back to yours again.

“I love you,” you whisper against his mouth before latching onto his lips.

He lets out a low grunt, pulling away for breath as he whispers it back, “I love you more.”

If you won’t let his mouth move, you let his hands do whatever they wish, feeling them move lower against your sides to reach your hips. His thumbs draw circles on them as he slowly moves his hands to where you can feel the arousal grow.

His fingers hit your bare heat as he plunges them into your folds, encasing your clit between his fingers. He drags them up slowly before moving back down, all the way to your now sopping hole to brush against the opening.

You sigh against his lips as he pushes his finger in slowly, lips releasing yours as you throw your head back to feel his digit around your walls. He pushes a second one in without hesitation, and you know he’s just as desperate as you right now.

He’s only two fingers deep, and yet you feel yourself beginning to come undone. He always knew what to do when he wanted to stretch you out faster, always knew what to do when he wanted to draw the pleasure out, keep you writhing for hours.

Right now was different; it felt like he was holding himself back to the point where it was almost painful. If he wasn’t worried about the stretch, he would’ve buried himself inside you already, and yet, when he feels you clench undeniably hard around his fingers as you orgasm, he feels like he might’ve cum himself.

His low moans echo off the walls with your louder, more desperate ones, riding out your high as you feel him bring his other hand up to rub your clit in fast circles, making the pleasure last. Coming down from your high, you feel him pause for a moment as he peppers kisses on your face, down your jaw and neck, finally coming to press his lips against yours.

“You okay?”

You nod in response, already grasping at his boxers to yank them down. Despite having just orgasmed, the satisfaction is yet to come, needing to feel him inside you before you combusted entirely.

He helps as he discards himself of the final obstruction, letting you stroke his painfully hard member in your hands. The face he makes is heavenly as you watch him feel your hands wrapped around him. The impatience takes over as he finally removes your hands, instead pinning them beside your head as he guides himself to your entrance.

Seungcheol goes back to planting himself onto you entirely, knowing exactly what you wanted from him, needing to feel him against you so flush and tight. He lets you wrap your hands around his neck as he finally begins to push himself into you, letting his tip graze the beginning of your entrance.

He breathes into your neck in deep, deep exhales, trying so hard not to cum before he’s even entered you entirely. He takes his time pushing into you, focusing on your fingers as they play with his hair, your palms running down his shoulder blades in a pathway. He closes his eyes as he sheaths himself in you completely, continuing his steady breaths to not come undone before you.

He begins to move when he feels like he’s gotten a hold of his bearings, feeling you hold onto him as he starts thrusting into your cunt. The sounds you make are bliss; the feeling of every inch of your skin on his is making him lose his already lost mind.

Your arms drop when they can’t hold onto him any longer, your hands remaining on him regardless, in some way or the other. Seungcheol takes hold of your hand, emerging from the crook of your neck to bring it to his mouth. He kisses it, your palms, the back of your hand, your fingers, directly over the rock he slipped on you himself.

The tenderness of his actions makes your brain rattle against your skull, the building feeling in your abdomen coming so close to collapsing into release. You find yourself pushing yourself up on your elbows, face finding the crook of his shoulder as you push yourself back into him when pulled back in the slightest.

You’re so close now, so, so close. “Cheol,”

“I know, darling. Cum for me, baby, I’ve got you, I’ve always got you.”

You release to the sound of his voice, the words that tumble from his desperate mouth, the feeling of his own cum shooting inside your spent walls. He continues to thrust into you as you both let out the loudest moans of the night, letting yourself get wrapped up in the feeling of each other before you lose your peak.

You register nothing as you feel him drop his weight on top of you, letting the moment pass.

Despite having had nights rougher, more lengthy than this, you somehow feel more spent than you have at the end of any of those escapades. The answer comes to you in the few minutes it takes for you both to catch your breath, Cheol being just as fatigued as you despite his athlete stamina.

You feel him continue to press his lips onto your skin, letting you do the same to him in between kisses. Neither of you speak for another few minutes, letting the heaviness of your hearts come forth in the showers of love you seem to want to give each other.

He’s grasping your left hand, toying with the ring fitted there. “I can’t wait to spend forever with you.”

A picture of the both of you hangs on the wall in your bedroom, dim yet decipherable in the low lights. There’s a moment where you have a flash of that same photo on multiple different walls. Different shades of neutral, in different rooms in different houses. It’s the same picture.

You think of what forever might hold for the both of you, separately and together. You let the prospect of every step, every change, and every milestone wash over you in waves that keep coming, crashing back to feed into another.

Change, you rehearse. There had been lots of it, and yet you had merely scratched the surface of what life was about to throw at you. You knew that, Seungcheol knew that. But you found yourself, in that moment, convinced in entirety that change is good, whether it feels good or bad.

Distance makes the heart grow fonder; you didn't realize the meaning of the phrase until you had to live apart from the love of your life. Painful, difficult, sometimes agonizing, yet also necessary, you conclude. You wonder if your love would ever have grown this deep if you hadn’t felt life without each other.

You think of how far you’ve come, how you’ve grown with each other. There was an encompassing of gratefulness that came with every step you had taken, and with every step you would take henceforth, you knew that for certain.

Perhaps you would find yourself voicing these emotional thoughts to him, but not now. The unspoken was louder than anything you could say.

“I can’t wait to spend forever with you, too.”

taglist (strikthru could not be tagged): @rubyreduji @vampirexlotita @simqly-yunjin @tomodachiii

#seventeen #seventeen fluff #seventeen smut #seventeen imagines #seungcheol fluff #seuncheol smut #seungcheol imagines #seungcheol scenarios #seungcheol x reader #seungchel angst #scoups #svt #svt smut #em.writes

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satorusugurugurl · 3 months ago

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Heat

Summary: Your heat hits you at the club, but luckily your boyfriend is there to take care of you.

Characters: WolfHybrid!Geto Suguru x CatHybrid!AFAB!Reader

Warnings: abo themes, hybrids (like wolf ears and tails), abo universe. Heat/rut, usage of the terms Alpha/Omega, breeding, sex, unprotected sex, cream pie, knots

Word Count: 2.6K

A/N: Kinktober Day 17 ABO WolfHybrid Suguru! look I’m a slut for ABO okay!

You had planned out your evening perfectly. From the shoes for the best comfort to the clubs you would hit up with your friends. Everything was planned to the tea. The one thing you hadn’t planned was for your heat to come early.

You should have known it was coming when you got to the club. You felt warm, but you thought maybe it had been due to the pregaming you had done at Shoko’s appointment or the cramped car ride in the back of Nanami’s car. You finally realized what was going on when your gaze focused solely on your wolf-hybrid boyfriend, Geto Suguru.

he looked so good. His long raven hair was in his signature half up half down style. The bun was tied neatly and secured with a band. His matching black wolf ears twitched with amusement as he chatted with your friends, his tail swishing back and forth quickly. The hoodie he was wearing reeked of his pheromones. That earthy, musky scent was your utter downfall.

Your cat ears twitched as you hurried through the crowd, your tail smacking anyone who got in your way. Your heat fueled your momentum until you finally met your boyfriend. His ears twitched as he turned to look down at you, head tilting to the side as you grabbed his arm, holding onto it to study yourself as you heavily panted.

“Princess?” His concern made the heat that was growing between your legs worse. “Are you okay?”

You didn't trust your voice enough to speak. Instead, you pulled on his arm, leading him towards the exit. But Suguru had misconstrued what you wanted as you began heading through the crowded dance floor. So, of course, without you saying outwardly what you wanted, Suguru had created a scenario for himself. So as much as you wanted to keep moving, Subaru stopped his hands, grabbing your hips, pulling you flush against his crotch as he began dancing against the curve of your ass that he loved.

The sudden contact in stimulation had you biting down roughly on your bottom lip as you fought back a needy moan. “S-Sugu,” you whispered, gasping softly, eyes going wide as he grounded his hips innocently against yours. He didn’t intend to draw out the moans from you; your boyfriend was just trying to be as close to you as he could. Which probably wasn’t the best idea, seeing that you were feeling absolutely feral and that you were close to losing your mind.

“You wanted to dance, right?” Suguru whispered, making your ears twitch with pure anticipation.

“N-No.” Even though your body betrays you as your hips seamlessly grind back against him.

“No?” Sharp teeth snap at your earlobe, gently tugging on it. “Yet you’re grinding against me like you do.”

What were you supposed to do when your heat was about to hit you like a freight train in a crowded club? And while you want to let your heat take control and have your Alpha fuck you into next week in the middle of the club, he just thinks you wanna dance. In reality, that’s a terrible idea. But this position, along with the grinding and smell of him as he rubs his hands all over your body, enhances the pleasure that’s already coursing through you and clouding your judgment when you should be thinking logically.

Yet you still rock back against him, faster, grinning as your alpha growls in your ear. “I really didn’t want to dance,” you confess, speaking the god's honest truth.

“Really?” fingers dig into your hips, squeezing them as Suguru rocks against you harder. “You could’ve easily fooled me, Princess.”

Your body heats up more as your slick coach your inner thighs. “I-I’m being serious,” you whisper, biting down your bottom lip as you fight back against the pure horny fumes building up inside of you. Telling you to throw caution into the wind and just fuck your boyfriend right there. “I-I’m going in—” you bite back a whimper, not even needing to finish your sentence.

Because Suguru can smell you, that sweet, sugary scent that wafts off, you combined with vanilla, has his ears perking up. His hips are still, but his cock throbs at the attention as the reality of the situation wash over him like a tremendous rainstorm. That momentary shock, the surprise, turns into a need that wraps around him like sticky tape that just wants to be stuck to you in every way he can.

He needed to get you home before you triggered his rut.

“Omega.” he grows in your ears, sending a shiver of pure horny desire down both of your spines. “Are you in heat?”

There’s a sense of relief that comes with his question as Suguru grinds his hardening erection against your ass. “Yeah.” but there’s also a twinge of hesitation that accompanies that relief.

This heat had come unexpectedly. Something neither of you had been planning for. This wasn’t the first heat you and Suguru had gone through together. All the other ones Suguru had been with you for had been planned out meticulously. Not only was this the first one that had unexpectedly shown up, but it also hit you in public, and you didn’t have a scent patch. You weren’t sure how an alpha male would handle this situation.

Would he take you right there on the dance floor? Make sure everyone in the club knows who you belong to. Or would he sneak off to a dark corner and fuck you in the crowded club?

Your answer came as soon as it crossed your mind. Suguru grabbed you by the wrist, pulling you out of the club and down to the street, where he called for a card to pick you up. He didn’t say much, keeping his mouth closed until the key unlocked the door to his apartment. You stepped inside, and all hell broke loose. He snarled as his tail and ears perked up before he grabbed you, slamming you as hard as he could against the back of his door. His eyes shut as he began licking your scent glands as he ground his hips, rocking them against yours.

“S-Sugu!”

His claws came out of his fingers, and he shredded the tiny dress you were wearing into pieces. “Omega.” He growled a quick work of his clothing, dropping it to the ground.

Seeing your mate, bare and naked in front, the last of your restraints shattering to the ground like glass. Your body was on fire internally, leaving you in almost agonizing pain. You howled, your back arching off the door. "A-Ahh!! A-Alpha-!" You whined whimpering and pure, unfiltered need.

Suguru growled, following your every movement, looking at you with hunger. "Omega, tell me what you want." He asked, kissing your neck as he trailed his long fingers down your body, caressing your slick sex.

“Need you! I need your fingers!” Suguru growled as he began plunging his thick fingers inside of you and curling them to stimulate that spongy spot that you loved. The one that left you seeing stars every time he touched it fucked against it. That immediately pacified you, leaving you whimpering but not crying. "'S g-good S-Sugu!" you cried out softly, leg shaking as you tried to keep yourself standing.

"Yeah?" Suguru questioned his tail, slightly wagging at the praise you gave him. He growled, continuing to suck and nip at your sink glands while his fingers kept pumping in and out of your tight wet cunt with a purpose. "That feels good, Princess?” He kissed and sucked on your neck.

"Y-Yeah!" You whimpered, your tail swaying as you rocked against his hand. Your body was still hot, burning bright. "But I-I need your knot, Alpha. Pleeease!" You whined quietly, and there was no possible way Suguru nodded, lifting you and carrying you to the bedroom.

“Of course, little omega, I got you.” He dropped you on the bed, forcing you onto your side. “I'll make the pain go away.” His lips trailed over your scent gland, groaning as you whimpered, lifting your leg to drape over his hip.

As he gently peppered your neck with kisses as he rocked against you, his cock throbbing, another wave of heat overcame you. Leaving you feeling like jelly in his arms. “S-Sugu—nngh.” You whispered something he couldn't hear at first. His wolf ears twitched as he focused in on your voice. As Suguru shut his eyes, he finally could make out the soft, desperate plea. "K-K-Knot—” You whined, gripping the sheets as he rocked his length harder against your folds. “Please, Alpha, I-I need your knot!”

Suguru growled, not hesitating at your request. Instead, he grabbed you by the chin, forcing you to look at him before he slammed his lips on yours. "Princess." He faster ground against you, his hardening erection rubbing directly over your clit. "You smell so good, fuck god, I want you." you whimpered in approval, and Suguru snapped.

Hearing what his omega, this needy had his rut grabbing him by the balls, telling him to fuvk every ounce of cum into you. So Suguru grabbed himself by the base of his cock, spitting into his free hand to lube himself up before he was pressing against your entrance. As the head of his thick fat cock pressed into you, he could smell your sweet slick taking a moment to smell you before he slammed into you with a howl.

You gasped out loud, one of your hands reaching around, grabbing the back of his head, forcing his face into the crook of your neck as he fucked you roughly. "A-Alpha!!" You couldn't hold back your adorable, soft voice. Instead, your feral actions left you screaming in need as Suguru’s cock railed into you, relieving all tension that had been building up all evening lessened as the pain alleviated. Leaving the following words to come out of your mouth, yours and yours alone. "B-Breed me."

"Ah, fuck!!" Suguru snarled, licking your scent glands again as he fucked into you. The metal bedframe creaked; god was so hot it was fucking ridiculous. "Omega~ I wanna breed you!" He barked out with a howl as he slammed into you faster.

“M-Me too!” You cried out, your eyes rolling back into your head as you desperately ground down against him. "A-Alpha!!"

"O-Omega!!" Suguru felt as though there was a fire in his chest as he cried out your name, thrusting deeper inside of your wet heat. He Clance down, watching as you ground your hips back against him, forcing his cock deeper inside of you. "Y-Yes, just like that." He praised as he nipped at your bottom lip before kissing you desperately. "Fuck I love you."

You giggled blissfully as your boyfriend turned you, allowing you to wrap your legs around his waist as you both remained on your sides. This gave you the perfect opportunity to kiss him deeper while digging your nails into his shoulders. You needed all of him. So you did the only logical thing, and Omega, such as yourself, would do it. You forced his knot into you with a cry as he stuttered, hips seizing up as you cried out. "F-Fuck!! I love you too!!"

Suguru’s mouth fell into a silent moan as he felt your walls clamping around him, trying to milk him for everything he was worth. “Fuck! Princess!” His eyebrows pinched together as he continued fucking you, scenting you as his mate. "I love you, omega~ I love you!" His knot twitched and swelled more inside of your already tight pussy as he fucked you ruthlessly, his teeth gazing over your scent glands, and you couldn’t take it anymore.

You wanted him; you needed to be his in every way you could. You could barely think, but somehow, you managed to form two coherent words as you tilted your head to the side. "A-Alpha! Bite!!"

Tai docked down at you for a second. Your words hit him like ice water before that heat returned; he had never been more sure of anything in his entire life. From the moment he met you, he knew you were his omega. His alpha called for you. So there was no hesitation as he snarled out of a growl before biting down on your neck, marking you as his mate. He rutted inside you like a rabid feral beast, trying to get you to cum, wanting to help you find that release that you so desperately needed.

You became nothing but jelly in his arms after that. Feeling complete as your pussy gushed around him while you were left begging him for his cum, for his pups. “Breed me!! Breed me!!” you cried out as Suguru’s knot swelled inside of you, spurting out thick ropes of cum painting your walls with his seed. "M-Mmmmhm!" he huffed out as he locked the two of you in place as he continued to fill your pussy, with his cum. He said as he kissed you deeply.

“Sugu~” you purred as toy kissed back as much as your wrecked exhausted body would allow. After that first orgasm, you were nothing but putty in his arms. "Alpha fuck.”

Suguru swallowed hard. Finally releasing his bite. His teeth were stained with crimson. But he so carefully lapped at your wound, healing it with a satisfied growl. You pulled away, offering Suguru the other side as you floated through your afterglow. It was the first time your omega had been truly satisfied. While your boyfriend blushed and nodded before biting down on the other side of your neck. Marking you as his mate.

"Wow." He said with a smile. “I always imagined how pretty You'd look with my mark, but seeing it in person is much better than any other daydream.”

“Me too, " you hummed as you cuddled close to him, purring happily as your bodies connected. I love you, Suguru."

A flood of emotions coursing through every part of Suguru's soul. He pulls away from your neck, staring at you before he grins. "I love you too, " your boyfriend whispers with a happy hum. I love you so much." He turns, offering you his neck, his unmarked sent glands almost illuminated in the low lighting of the bedroom. "I want you forever."

His actions leave you too stunned to speak. Marking each other like this, you would be with each other, mate, forever. Mates for life. So, of course, you gasped softly, your brain going fuzzy as you stared at his unclaimed neck. For once in your life, you had never been more sure of anything. There was no hesitation in your movements as you leaned in, your fangs puncturing the skin, making you purr as you lapped at the mark before moving onto his other side.

Once you marked him on the other side, you both lay there in the bed by his knot, your tails, kissing against each other as you whispered declarations of love in between quiet huma and purrs. Suguru chuffed low in his chest as he wrapped you up, tightening his body around you. This night might not have gone as planned, but it turned out to be the best fucking night of your life. The night you found your mate with whom you would spend the rest of your life.

Forever Tag List:

@darkstarlight82 @pandoness @nealeart @simp-plague @sugurubabe @chilichopsticks @reap3erslov3 @wil10wthetree @msniks @lana18918

Kinktober Tag List:

@candy-s72

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after-hours-in-the-library · 7 months ago

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Guess I got to start this blog somewhere

How would they react to waking up with a boner next to you

For some reason I can't really write lighthearted things for Alan, sigh

Not really nsfw but kinda suggestive?

If earth could swallow them they would accept it in a heartbeat.

Poor sweet Kaito is the first one I think that would accidentally get too excited to be sleeping next to his SO and get hard. He is already suffering, don't look at him disgusted, he WILL cry.

Luca is startled like it's the first time happening, apologizing for putting you in an awkward situation. Pat his shoulder and tell him it's alright.

Alan still has some kind of complex of seeing himself as too worn out, a killer and a criminal, and in contrast seeing his partner in a much better light. When he gets hard while sleeping together he almost feels like when he is cleaned the blood off of his fists after an underground fight, whatever rag he grabbed now tainted too.

Sweet baby Subaru feels oh, so bad at the slightest feeling he might be imposing himself on you at any point, be it date plans, shared activities or what to eat for dinner. He removes himself out of the situation and sends a three paragraph long text apologizing and understanding if you want to break up and not see him anymore.

Doesn't make a big deal out it if you don't react badly

Sho reads books, even if it doesn't look like it, and knows that morning wood usually doesn't happen because of sexual stimuli. Sho also gets a bit bashful at having woken next to you like that, tsk-ing at your teases while he looks away.

‘boys are just like that' Haku might cover with a pillow if you feel uncomfortable or awkward but he will be cracking jokes about the situation to lighten up the mood.

Is like ‘whatever’ and doesn't do anything to hide it

Jin, as nonchalant as ever, doesn't think much about it, he might go to the bathroom and fix his problem if you fuss a bit but otherwise he will stay lying down listening to music.

Towa is a free spirit and rarely cares about morals or common decency, doing as he pleases most of the time, it's no wonder he looks curious when you get surprised at the tent in his pants.

Ed decides it isn't that big of a deal, when you live for so long some insecurities and things you get embarrassed about start mattering less and less.

Even if Subaru did his best teaching him, Lyca doesn't understand many human sensibilities, like not smelling people or yelling when someone talks smack, it's no wonder he almost seems surprised at your reaction

Makes you feel like you are the weird one for even noticing

Leo, the little bitch he always is, will find a way to make it awkward, be it saying you are a perv for looking far down to accuse you of planning it.

Ren is a somewhat mixed case bc on one hand he makes you feel like the weirdo ‘why are you so interested in my groin. Sexual harassment’ but on the other he is internally crying at how awkward it's.

Good luck even getting into that situation

If you think you can catch Thoma off guard nice try —at least so early into the relationship— he prides himself in being able to act the part of a gentleman so even if it happened you wouldn't wake up or even notice.

Haru is too tired, too busy and doesn't have enough time to cuddle with you to sleep.

Can Zenji even get an erection?

Good luck getting Rui comfortable enough with getting close to sleep next to each other.

#tokyo debunker #tokyo debunker x reader

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yuri-is-online · 8 months ago

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Random Tokyo Debunker x MC HC

Zenji writes about the MC as he starts to fall in love, but he doesn't refer the you by name. In a lot of older classic Japanese literature that was considered inappropriate and you called people by their titles, so he invents one for you. I like to think it would have something to do with violets as in Japanese flower language they symbolize sincere and deep affection. He hopes his writing will convey his desire to be reunited with you in the next life.

Jin likes classical music and expressing his feelings through what he plays. He expects you to understand that he is falling in love with you because he has things like Adagietto from Symphony No.5 or Liebestraume No.2 in E Major and No. 3 in A-Flat Major playing whenever you come to visit and gets extremely frustrated when he realizes you just don't. Unfortunately, as Tohma is all too happy to point out, he's sort of fucked himself because if he tries to educate MC himself or push you towards googling it he will tip his hand. It would be less embarrassing to just confess but he's not going to do that either.

This isn't really a hc, but Subaru spends a lot of time picking out what snacks and tea he wants to serve you when he spends time with you. He's not fully aware of how normal people interact, he was very sheltered growing up so he doesn't know the best way to express his feelings in a way you will recognize as him saying he loves you so he sticks to what he knows. You've been such a good friend to him already he's sure he'll be able to learn what he wants to say if he keeps spending time with you, he feels very safe at your side.

Tohma worries about you. His eyes are wide open to the dangers of Darkwick and what could happen to you if your curse is allowed to progress. As he falls in love he is less harsh in his teasing of your tendency to stumble into danger and more fond, more earnest in his pleas. He can't be honest when he asks you to be careful because you'll ask him why and he can't tell you. He's threading the needle of danger enough as is, he would never forgive himself if he took you down with him. Tohma is the sort of guy who would walk into hell and ask the devil if he could take your place, but he would never want you to know that's what he's doing. He knows he will never be the first choice.

#tokyo debunker #tdb #tokyo debunker x reader #zenji kotodama #jin kamurai #subaru kagami #tohma ishibashi

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ahintofchaos · 3 months ago

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Homecoming

Agatha Harkness X Reader

Summary:

"Can we go home?"

Agatha, Reader, and Billy clean up and go home after the showdown with Rio. Home, of course, being the Kaplan residence in Eastview. Three bloody witches in suburbia.

Established AgathaxReader, can be read as a standalone or with my other Agatha fics.

“Can we go home?”

You’re bloodied and battered, having just been launched around the backyard like a toy. Your voice is raspy but steady as you stumble to your feet, moving almost unconsciously toward Agatha. Agatha, whose arms are opening to you.

What a nightmare. Trust Agatha to have the single most dramatic closure talk with an ex you’ve ever seen. You would question her taste in women if you weren’t also one of her choices.

You find purchase in Agatha’s arms, sagging against her. She, with her recently recovered powers, seems better off than you. Billy, too, is in relatively good shape. He holds his hands out under your arms like he’s waiting to catch you if you fall. You want no one’s touch but Agatha’s right now. “Want to define home for me, honey?”

You consider her words. You had meant the place where Agatha had lived, but that was currently a little busted, what with the showdown with Rio that took out several windows and inexplicably, a sink. Not to mention the lack of a front door and the probably trashed interior, thanks to the Salem Seven. “Okay. Can we go somewhere else?”

You don’t know where that would be, but you’re desperate for a place to rest. Agatha might be one of the most powerful witches to ever exist, but you were relatively ordinary as far as witches went, and you were well past your limit. Agatha didn’t offer a solution, but Billy piped up almost hesitantly.

“You can come with me. I mean, to my house.”

You’re too tired to argue, and Agatha seems to follow your lead. She nods at the boy and you all three make your way around the side of the house to the road, where Billy’s Subaru is miraculously untouched. “What a shitshow,” Agatha mutters as she sets you in the backseat, and you can’t tell if she means the events of today or the state of the car. Both, probably. There are tumbleweeds of crumpled receipts back here, and you’re acutely aware of the amount of crumbs you’re sitting on. Teenagers have never been known for their cleanliness, but this is really something.

Instead of getting into the passenger seat like you expected, Agatha slides in next to you. She buckles your seatbelt and then hers. Billy waits until you’re both set to start off down the street, and before long your head is lolling against the window as you slip into a fuzzy half-sleep state.

The next thing you register is someone’s fingers in your hair, lightly stroking across all the knots and snarls you’ve accumulated. Your head is no longer against the window but on Agatha’s shoulder, soft and reliable. She gently tilts your head up once your eyes start to flicker open, and she reaches over you to undo your seatbelt. With a whispered “hang tight,” she gets out, leaving your side cold without her pressed against you. She opens your door and half lifts you out of the car. You wind your arm in hers and make your way up the walkway of Billy’s house. It’s quaint, not unlike Agatha’s house. Very suburban. The door isn’t locked, and the three of you walk right in. Billy shucks off his shoes at the front door, and you attempt to do the same. Agatha makes no effort. Billy’s mother is on the couch, her back to the door, but she turns around when she hears you come in. “William?”

Billy ducks sheepishly. “Hi, Mom, I–”

“Where were you? You’ve been gone for 24 hours!”

Billy’s father comes in from the kitchen and joins the conversation, which at this point is more of a monologue. Lots of “All day, no communication, where on earth were you?” Their lecture pauses for a moment as both parents simultaneously switch their attention to you. And what a sight you must be. A very disheveled and rather bloodied woman in the arms of a centuries-old witch, who is visibly older than you. Although the age difference is negligible after so many centuries, Agatha does look older than you by appearance. It must be quite the shock, you think, to have your son come home after going missing for a day and bringing with him two unusual guests. Fortunately, Billy’s parents seem more relieved to have him home than anything, and are fairly dismissive of the fact that you’re also here.

“Uh, Mom, Dad,” Billy says, “we’ve had a really long day and they’re going to crash here, okay?” He motions to you and Agatha, who is at this point holding you up almost entirely, her arm tight around your waist.

Mrs. Kaplan nods, turning back to Billy. “Yes, of course, sure,” she says, barely paying you any mind. “But you need to communicate with us, William. We were so worried. And it’s so late!” As the three of you walk past her and up the stairs, her eyes linger on Agatha’s swirling dress and coat. You quickly turn your attention back to the stairs, lest you miss one and send you and Agatha both tumbling back down.

–

“So, this is my room,” Billy says, casting his arm around the space, “and this is the bathroom, if you need it.” It’s a nice little space. Very Billy Kaplan. Maximoff? Who knows. Your attention is fixed on the bed. You want nothing more than to lie down and sleep for a century, but you’re also uncomfortably aware of the blood drying in sticky patches all over your face and neck, courtesy of Rio’s death by a thousand cuts. You’re so tired you’re numb, and you can’t really tell what blood is Agatha’s and what’s yours anymore. But judging by the way both she and Billy look at you, a good bit of it is yours. Ouch.

“Let’s get you fixed up, then we can sleep,” Agatha says, gently prodding you along toward the bathroom. You follow mutely, taking a seat on the closed toilet while Agatha starts running the sink water. She cups her hands and holds the water up to the tiny window, and you recognize Jen’s healing spell. Agatha looks at you and tilts her head back, and you get her message and do the same. She opens her hands over your face, and the water starts to rinse away the blood. It’s certainly messy, and Billy starts to interject that maybe you should move to the shower for this, but one look from Agatha shuts him up again. She repeats the process several times, picking glass out of your hair and skin where she finds it. Eventually, you’re looking better, and she takes one of the Kaplans’s pristine white hand towels and uses it to gently wipe away the rest of the crusted blood and dirt. You close your eyes, leaning into her touch. She finishes, but keeps her hand on your face, steadying you. You could fall asleep right there.

“Hey,” Agatha waves a hand toward Billy, who has been observing the entire process from the doorway of the tiny bathroom. “How about some fresh clothes? Find her something normal, please,” she says. That might be a dig at his current outfit, with its emo sweater and cape. She’s one to talk, you think. That purple coat was dramatic as hell. Billy ducks back into his room and rummages through some drawers, and returns with a clumsily folded tshirt and a pair of sweatpants. “Okay?” he asks, and you and Agatha both nod. She closes the door in his face, not taking her hand away from you. Your pulse thumps against her fingertips and she’s never been so glad to feel it.

“Up,” she coaxes, and you obey. She gently shimmies you out of your old shirt, which is beyond repair, and gently pulls your arms through the new one. It’s a band you don’t recognize, but it’s very Billy. She slides your pants down your legs and you brace yourself on her shoulders as you step out of them one leg at a time.

“I feel like a baby,” you say as she slides the soft black sweatpants up your legs, settling them on your waist. Agatha looks at you. “You had a rough go out there. Let yourself be a baby. You’re my baby.” If you weren’t so tired you could’ve cried.

Agatha opened the bathroom door again and you emerged back into Billy’s room, feeling slightly more alive than before. Billy is sitting on the bed, but Agatha motions for him to get off. “My mom said she’s going to bring the air mattress, so we can–”

“Teen, I am four hundred years old. I am sleeping in a real bed. And so is she.” Her hand settles on your shoulder, and Billy understands what else she’s saying.

“Oh, I didn’t–”

“I’m aware,” Agatha snaps. She turns abruptly from him to pull down the covers for you, helping you into bed. Your bones nearly melt as you relax into the mattress. Agatha walks around the bed to the other side and slides in. You lift your tired head and she helps you nestle yourself in her lap, your face pressed against her soft thigh. It’s familiar and comforting, and you smile unconsciously. Cracking your eyes back open, you see Agatha stealing a glance at you, before she readjusts herself against the headboard and rests her hand on your side. Billy starts talking, and Agatha responds, but you can’t bring yourself to focus. You’re alive, Agatha’s alive, and you’re safe. You’re getting real sleep in a real bed for the first time in a week. You drift to sleep with the buzz of Agatha’s voice in your ears and her warmth against you. You breathe deep.

Everything else is for tomorrow.

____________________

“Is she asleep?”

“No, she’s–” Agatha stops herself. Too soon for jokes about that. She pets your hair and you sigh, pressing your face against her lap. “Yes, she’s asleep.”

Billy shifts on the air mattress. “I didn’t know you were, like, together,” he said.

“Well, now you know.”

“I thought you and Rio–”

“That was a long time ago. Things change.”

Billy paused. “Is that why she was so mad? She wanted you back?”

“Gee, I should have stopped to ask her. Maybe when she was busy trying to reap your soul to restore cosmic order.”

“Okay, nevermind.”

Agatha sighed. “I don’t know. I don’t care.”

“You don’t? But you two were together, you had a ki–”

“I’m aware, Teen. But it wasn’t supposed to happen. The universe was against it, and I didn’t care. I wanted to spit in the face of the universe. And it came back to bite me. I wanted to be as strong as Death.”

“You were angry.”

“Of course I was. I have always been angry. You try being almost executed by your coven at 19. Given a killing power you never learned how to control. You got just a taste of power and couldn’t handle it. You’d have gone on a spree.” She certainly had, but she didn’t say that part out loud.

Billy knew, all the same. Who wouldn’t give in to the most powerful, most protective part of them? “Are you still angry?”

Agatha looked down at you, breathing deep, eyes still behind your heavy lids. “Anger is a part of everyone. If you’re not angry, you’re either stupid or lying. But there are more things than anger. And don’t let anyone give you that positivity bullshit. Life hurts. You can’t stop it from hurting. You just do things anyway. And then you find things to hold onto.”

Billy’s eyes fall on you too, and Agatha clears her throat loudly. He readjusts and looks back at Agatha. “Alright.”

“Turn off the light, Teen. I’m going to sleep.”

__________________

Life had not been kind to Agatha. Gifted with a power that was more of a curse, despised by the one person who was supposed to love her above all. Forced to fend for herself against a cruel mother and a coven that never accepted her. No wonder she turned to the one most reliable part of her, the darkest part of her. No wonder she wanted to get back at the universe, be more powerful than life and death. Bend the rules. But no one is stronger than death. Nicholas, being made partly by Death, was never meant to live. Agatha bent the rules as far as she could. And despite her best efforts, the universe came crashing down on her again, taking her son. Reminding her that she cannot force something that was never meant to be. It was enough to end a person. But Agatha was nothing if not a survivor. And eventually she found things worth holding onto. The most central of whom was now fast asleep in her arms, in the bedroom of a teenage boy. Four centuries of life, day by day, and now she was here. With an emo sidekick and the love of her life and the memory of her very own coven. What a journey. What a way to begin.

Taglist:

@polaris-likethestar

#agatha x reader #agatha harkness x reader #agatha harkness #agatha all along #agatha spoilers #hurt/comfort #agatha harkness fanfic #agathario #soft agatha #my tag- Agatha

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summer-nights19 · 5 months ago

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hello! just saw your post about tokyo debunker!

i was wondering how Jin, Subaru, Leo, and Romeo would react with a talkative s/o ?

i feel like they would be annoyed 😂 except for subaru who seems more patient

thank you very much!

Omd I love this ! Thank you for the request <3 I apologise if Romeo and Subaru are a bit OOC - I still haven't seen much of them in the game This is obviously all meant light heartedly - remember that you deserve a partner who makes you feel heard <3

Tokyo debunker guys x yapper MC

Jin

At first, he did find annoying - how did you manage to talk so much ? Only about 1/4 of what you were saying is actually important

"MC, if you don't have anything important to say, either shut up or leave,"

Over time, however, he begins to find it comforting (not that he'd ever admit it to you). He's not a talkative guy, but hearing you go on your rambles and getting to know you better is something that he increasingly enjoys. He'll even indulge you sometimes, especially if he can sense that it's something important to you

"Well, now that you've started, you might as well keep going ... what happened after that ?"

Will still show very little patience if you try to talk to him while he's in the middle of something

Will definitely tell you that he can think of "better uses" for your mouth if you're both feeling it

Leo

He talks quite a lot too, so it's ok to a certain degree, but if you start rambling around him too much he gets annoyed

"Yeah I stopped listening like 10 minutes ago MC, so shut the fuck up,"

If it genuinely hurts your feelings, he will feel bad. He won't apologise outright, but he'll try to be less mean in the future, with limited success

The kinda guy to try to fluster you into shutting up - he'll give you a kiss mid-rant and watch with satisfaction as you blush and look away, your ramble all but forgotten

Romeo

He'd find it quite irritating - he loves to hear himself talk, but with other people, it's a whole different thing

Like Jin, he'd tell you that you either stop talking so much or leave

If he makes you feel bad, he wouldn't apologise outright but he'd buy you an expensive gift the next day to try to make up for it (any efforts to change on his part will yield very limited results)

Sometimes tells you to go ramble to your idiot friends (Kaito) but gets furious if you actually do. You're his partner, after all

He will also make jokes about putting your mouth to better use if you're both in that kind of mood

Subaru

Doesn't mind at all - loves listening to you talk as it means he gets to learn more about you. He also finds the sound of your voice soothing

He'll definitely join in if it's something you're both interested in, and those conversations can last for hours. If not, he's happy to listen and ask the occasional question

The kind of guy who stops what he's doing to talk to you

He remembers absolutely everything you say to him, so if you mention wanting to do a particular activity or buy a sepcific product, you can trust he gets that done for you (Jin is the same, but to a lesser extent)

"Oh this ? You mentioned you wanted it the other day, so I thought I'd go out and get it for you since I had my R&R permit approved,"

Masterlist

#tokyo debunker x reader #tokyo debunker fanfiction #tokyo debunker #tokyo debunker mc #tokyo debunker jin #jin kamurai #jin kamurai x reader #tokyo debunker leo #leo kurosagi x reader #leo kurosagi #tokyo debunker romeo #romeo lucci #tokyo debunker romeo lucci #tokyo debunker subaru #subaru kagami #subaru kagami x reader #tokyo debunker headcanons

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mazojo · 7 months ago

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The plot thickens !!

I love this song !!!!

#OH I love this song actually #GUYS ITS THE TROPE OF IT WAS A JOKE AT FIRAT BUT I ACTUALLY LIKE YOU AND I DIDNT MEAN TO BET AND IT WAS REAL FOR ME PLS BELIEVE ME #OH PLEASE THEY MADE THIS SHIT FOR ME !!!!!#the way sho will not only beat Leo’s ass but double down becoming boyfriends with Subaru too it’s like we can’t lose yall !#oh I am so invested guys askdjwk love the jabberwalks or whatnot but I need us to go into shoujo mode rn with Sho #ugh their mind is massive #I don’t want this chapter to end it’s been so fun too :( the next is sinostra and ngl peeps I kinda hate the three from them aksksks #ritsu is…. fine I guess…. but it’s sort of the only house so far I don’t really care for anyone lol #the rest all have at least one pookie !!! but hey maybe it’ll prove me wrong #bc so far taiga is a menace and Romeo seems like someone who would go to a gun convention so we are running low on options #but I hope they prove me wrong #I can’t wait to do my tier list and chart my mind you guys #tokyo debunker #so sorry for anyone who follows me for other content and this is the only thing I have been posting I just need to !!!! talk !!!!

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afra-blueraz · 8 months ago

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=== Diabolik Lovers Luv Pillow Time Headcanons ===

Before going to sleep, Yui suggests to Shu to scroll social media.

Shu was not very interested in it, but he listened to her, but after a while, he got bored and decided to sleep. The first thing he likes to do is lie quietly on Yui's legs and sleep.

Shu does this and Yui complains. Shu puts a finger in front of her mouth so that she doesn't make so much noise and asks her to caress him instead of making noise.

Yui puffs her cheeks but has no other choice and starts stroking his hair slowly.

Shu enjoys this work very much. After a few hours, Yui fell asleep and Shu realized that Yui's hand was not moving until he saw that she was asleep.

Shu hugs her and closes his eyes to fall asleep while hugging Yui's soft body and smelling her sweet smell.

Reiji makes Yui a delicious tea. And Yui appreciates him with happiness and laughter.

Those two people drink tea and talk to each other for several hours.

Reiji won't admit it, but he loves spending time with Yui before bed, and he can't help but smile when Yui compliments his tea with a sweet smile.

After a short while, Reiji notices that Yui is tired. He arranges the bed and helps Yui lie down gently.

After doing his chores, Reiji goes back to the bed and falls asleep holding Yui in his arms.

Ayato makes the most stupid suggestions to Yui. Like attacking each other with pillows. Or drown someone else under the pillows. In the end, Yui decides to make takoyaki for Ayato.

Ayato eats the takoyaki with a smile and while surprisingly, praises Yui's good hand cooking.

Ayato falls asleep earlier than Yui and Yui tries to fit herself in Ayato's arms and sleep.

Kanato likes to invite Yui to a tea party for Teddy and his dolls before going to bed.

Yui talks to Teddy and Kanato's dolls and they have a beautiful tea party together.

Kanato sleeps holding Teddy in his arms and Yui throws the blanket over him and sleeps next to Kanato while holding his hand.

Laito suggests to Yui that they solve the crossword puzzle. The idea seemed too simple to Yui at first glance, and she was surprised that Laito didn't make more terrible suggestions.

However, Laito made a bet that if Yui couldn't guess every word correctly, Laito would punish her with a kiss.

Yui guessed that Laito might have another plan and as she thinks it was not an ordinary puzzle and every time Laito whispered the correct answer in her ear she couldn't stop herself from blushing and Laito kissed Yui again and again.

Yui fell asleep while sitting in Laito's arms.

Laito smiled and put the puzzle aside and placed one last kiss on Yui's cheek and fell asleep holding her in his arms.

Subaru has bought Yui a plushie toy to make her happy.

Yui screams with joy when she sees the plushie and hugs Subaru and kisses him.

Subaru, whose face is completely red, hugs Yui and takes her to his coffin.

" What? You don't expect me to sleep without my pillow? You have your pillow, I took mine. "

Subaru fell asleep hugging Yui tightly in the darkness of his coffin.

Ruki's favorite thing to do before going to bed is reading. He collects a collection of his favorite books to read to Yui.

Ruki tells Yui to sit in his arms, then reads to her while is holding Yui.

Yui listens to Ruki's stories while feeling his warmth and smiling.

Yui is slowly falling asleep in Ruki's arms. Ruki puts his book aside and sleeps next to Yui. He kisses her forehead and whispers in her ear. "Good night my cute angel"

Kou likes to sing to Yui before going to sleep, but Yui doesn't want them to disturb others' sleep with their noise.

For this reason, Yui suggests Kou to cook and try different pastas.

Yui and Kou have a sweet cooking time together and then they both go to bed to sleep.

Yuma has no interest in a bedtime party. He just wants Yui to go into his arms without any noise so that he can sleep peacefully with Yui's good smell after a hard day's work.

Yui puffs her cheeks and begs again and again. Yuma also inevitably accepts.

Yui will be very happy. She has already prepared a vase and asks Yuma to take care of it before going to sleep.

They give fertilizer and water to the flower. And Yui asks Yuma to talk to the flower.

Yuma laughs at Yui's silly request, but Yui confides that talking and loving flowers makes them grow better.

Yui takes Yuma's hand and starts talking to the flower. Yuma, who seems to have embraced all the love in the world, listens to Yui's words with a smile.

Yui falls asleep after a while. Yuma kisses Yui and sleeps next to her.

Azusa doesn't care what he does. He just likes to spend time with his beloved Eve.

Yui and Azusa reminisce and Azusa tells Yui about his knives.

Azusa talks about his love for Yui and Yui blushes. Then they sleep while hugging each other.

Carla enjoys talking to Yui about demon culture and their art, and Yui listens eagerly.

Carla caresses Yui's cheek and tells her that he is proud of how much she is trying to learn about demon culture and history as his future queen.

Yui smiles and thanks Carla. After Yui falls asleep, Carla kisses her forehead and sleeps next to her.

Shin prepares a package of peanuts and suggests to Yui that they have a competition who can break and eat the most with their teeth.

Shin does it very quickly because of his strong teeth, while Yui can't even break just one.

Shin laughs at her and pats her head like a baby to comfort her. He then breaks one himself and gives it mouth to mouth while kissing Yui and smiling.

At first, Kino hugs Yui and they play video games together. But Yui is not very interested in it.

That's why Yui suggests Kino to eat chocolate and talk.

They share chocolates with different flavors and spend sweet times together.

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otomehonyaku · 8 months ago

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a reader's guide to otomehonyaku ☽ translation masterpost & request guidelines (updated 15 Dec. '24)

you can call me Ottie (she/her)! 20s, DiaLovers translator & writer

posting weekly, mostly on Saturdays or Sundays

ASK & DM OPEN ☽ REQUESTS CLOSED ☽ COMMISSIONS NEGOTIABLE THROUGH DM

Please DO NOT REUSE OR REPOST ANY OF MY TRANSLATIONS OR WRITING ELSEWHERE, in any form whatsoever, or RETRANSLATE MY WORK INTO OTHER LANGUAGES WITHOUT MY EXPLICIT PERMISSION. If you have any questions regarding retranslating or reposting, please DM me!

Currently working on...

Diabolik Lovers More,Blood Stellaworth Complete Tokuten Short Stories ☽ All 10 characters (Next up are Shuu and Reiji!)

Upcoming translations

Diabolik Lovers More,Blood Character Popularity Poll Short Story ☽ Subaru ver.

Diabolik Lovers Chaos Lineage Drama CDs ☽ Vol. 3 (Orange, 4 tracks)

Diabolik Lovers Grand Edition Special Booklet ☽ Year-End Pandemonium (Sakamaki short story)

Diabolik Lovers Vandead Carnival Special Voice CD

Surprise long-form story from one of the tokuten booklets

Diabolik Lovers Chaos Lineage Special Booklet ☽ Short Story (Scarlet ver.)

Diabolik Lovers Chaos Lineage Special Booklet ☽ Short Story (Violet ver.)

Diabolik Lovers Official Anime Novelization ☽ Chapter 4

Note: Please be aware that list is subject to change. If something exciting pops up, I might alternate this list with other translations─in this case, please refer to the 'currently translating' section above to see what I'm working on!

Mainline Diabolik Lovers instalments

☽ DIABOLIK LOVERS: GRAND EDITION ☽ INCLUDING HAUNTED DARK BRIDAL & MORE,BLOOD

☽ DIABOLIK LOVERS: VANDEAD CARNIVAL ☽

☽ DIABOLIK LOVERS: LOST EDEN ☽

☽ DIABOLIK LOVERS: CHAOS LINEAGE ☽

Mainline drama CD series

☽ CLICK HERE FOR MY MAINLINE DRAMA CD MASTERPOST ☽

Books & other written materials

☽ CLICK HERE FOR BOOKS & OTHER WRITTEN MATERIALS ☽

My writing & miscellaneous translations

☽ CLICK HERE FOR MY WRITING & MY MISCELLANEOUS (NON-DIALOVERS) TRANSLATIONS ☽

Guidelines for requests & commissions

As a rule of thumb, Diabolik Lovers-related translations are always my priority and I sometimes write for fun. I do not take requests for writing (short stories, headcanons, reacts, scenarios and the like), though paid commissions are negotiable! Creative writing is quite a personal and subjective thing for me, so I tend to be selective as I want to ensure that I have enough inspiration and fun while writing in order to deliver a quality product. Please reach out through DM if you’d like to discuss a paid commission! Thank you for your understanding ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧

When requesting/commissioning a translation, please be aware of the following: ☽ Please provide the source materials which you would like to have translated. I do not have the financial means nor the time to personally buy all of the drama CDs or tokuten for all 13 characters, for example, so if you want something translated: please include a link to the source materials. These could be links to audio files on SoundCloud and BiliBili, or links to Tumblr posts with scans of short stories or interviews and the like. ☽ In all cases, it is your own responsibility to ensure that the source materials—particularly fan-made artwork and scans—have been acquired with full permission from the original poster. If the original poster has NOT given you permission to repost or reuse/translate the materials in question, I will NOT translate them. ☽ This probably goes without saying, but I do these translations for fun—I enjoy doing them, but I am also busy in my daily life. I will try my best to finish and post the translation as soon as possible after your request, but I give no guarantees on how long they will take. I do work relatively quickly given my current language skills in Japanese, but the time I can spend on translating varies per week. ☽ If you would like me to translate Japanese-language materials from other otome franchises or pop culture related things, please consult with me and I’ll see what I can do! ☽ DO NOT REPOST ANY OF MY TRANSLATIONS ELSEWHERE, IN ANY FORM WHATSOEVER (INCLUDING VIDEO), OR TRANSLATE MY WORK TO OTHER LANGUAGES WITHOUT MY PERMISSION.

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ox-imagines · 7 months ago

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Tokyo Debunker as Romance Tropes

Feel free to ask me to write a longer imagine/oneshot for any of these!

Pt. 5 | Hotarubi

Pt. 1 | Pt. 2 | Pt. 3 | Pt. 4 | Pt. 6 | Pt. 7

Subaru - Boy Next Door

Subaru’s family moved in next door to yours one summer, much to the excitement of many of the girls at your school. He's always polite about their attention, but gets shy very easily, and is quiet in class. He excels in everything he does, other than socialization. You finally approach him walking home from the bus one day, introducing yourself. He seems startled and a bit nervous when you speak to him, as if expecting you to be like the girls at school who fawn over him, but he relaxes once he realizes you’re just trying to be friendly. You start hanging out with him more, finding him to be just as sweet as he seems and actually quite passionate to match. The girls at school have mixed reactions to your spending time with him. Some are a bit

jealous, some seem disappointed, some congratulate you on being someone who could finally catch his attention. You try to explain that you‘re just friends and eventually the buzz dies down some. As time passes, you start to see him a bit differently. You ignore it, because how could one possibly not feel affection toward such a sweet, gentle boy? Unfortunately those feelings come to a head when one of your classmates asks him to a school dance and, not wanting to upset anyone, he accepts her invitation. You feel sick when he tells you, but you smile and nod and congratulate him. You don’t tell him you weren’t going to go. The night of the dance, he comes back a little after ten, coming over to your house. Your parents let him in and let him go up to your room. You’re surprised to find it was him who knocked on your door; the dance didn’t end until 11, what was he doing back early? Besides, you look a mess, your pajamas on and your eyes a bit puffy from crying over him. He immediately asks what's wrong and ushers you back over to your bed, sitting with you, then reveals that he left the dance early because it ‘didn’t feel right.’

“I missed you tonight, you should’ve been there. Can, can I kiss you?”

Haku - Best Friend's Brother

You grew up alongside your best friend, and her brother Haku. He’s a year or so older than your friend and always friendly with you both, playing with you when you were younger, though he seemed more distant and busy with his own friends the older he got. As you both grew up, you couldn’t deny how exceedingly gorgeous he is, growing out and dying his hair, his lithe frame filling out. He finally had the looks to match the smooth mouth he’d always had. You weren’t aware, but he finds that you’ve grown up well too. When he graduates the year before you and leaves for school, you’re left feeling a little sadder than you expected. You keep tabs on his social media posts, a part of you wishing you were with him. Eventually though, you’re swept up with exams and your own graduation preparations. Before you know it, you’re out of school and Haku’s home for the summer. In almost no time, you somehow find yourself in a somewhat… compromised position with him in your game room while both your families were just upstairs. After all the times you’ve imagined this, though, you can’t really complain.

“I hope you know you’re not just some summer fling to me. With that said, though, please don’t tell my sister? Not yet, at least?”

Zenji - Falling in Love with the Wrong Person

Zenji is a creative, romantic soul, and manages to see the best in everyone. Even when he’s worried, he can find the good in almost any situation. He’s got a heart of gold. That’s where you come in. You think he’s a great guy, and he quickly falls head over heels for you. Unfortunately, love isn’t the only thing a relationship needs to hold it together. You sometimes have trouble understanding Zenji and his interests and his unique ways, and you don’t always find it easy to communicate your own problems with him, despite him trying his best to be a good listener for you. You do try to put in the effort to keep your relationship for a while, but it wears on you. Zenji, on the other hand, tries to stay optimistic. He does everything in his power to patch up the issues between you, refusing to see them simply as differences between the two of you instead of problems that can be fixed. He tries to be everything you want and need, ignoring the emotional strain it’s putting on him. It only makes it harder on you; you can see what he’s doing, and the effect it has on him, but it makes you love him more in an albeit guilty sense. You have a man who’d move mountains for you if he could, but you can’t find it in you to be who he needed. Your love and genuine appreciation for him makes it hurt all the more to end things, but it’s also why you know you can’t just hold onto him like this and watch him tear himself apart anymore.

“I’m not sure I understand, my dear. Is there something I’ve done? Was it something I didn’t do? Please, dearest, I’m certain I can fix this, let me fix us.”

#tokyo debunker #tokyo debunker x reader #tdb #zenji kotodama #haku kusanagi #subaru kagami #hotarubi #i'm sorry the zenji one is sad #he's my favorite ghoul too

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sufferu · 2 months ago

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I was asked for a snippet from the Dogshow series. I have delivered. As the exact scene was not specified, I decided for myself.

Dogshow: No Way Home

____

[“But no matter how pathetic I was, you and Mom still treated me the same as always,” Subaru said. “That’s what scared me most of all…”]

“They…” Emilia choked out. “They really did…They really did love him, didn’t they…?”

Otto thought of his own parents, and how patient they had been with him for all those years. He swallowed, fighting back tears.

“Those bushes there really are fascinating!” Anastasia was saying loudly. “They look just like some of the foliage we have back here, don’t they?! I wonder if maybe there’s been some cross-barrier transport of — of seeds or something! Or perhaps it’s just the convergent evolution Hoshin once described at work—”

[“I wanted you to say, ‘I don’t love you.’ ‘I despise you.’ ‘You’re not my son.’”]

“…What?” Ram croaked. Rem watched silently from beside her, carefully stone-faced as she watched this tragedy unfold. “Subaru, you wanted…what?”

Subaru didn’t answer. He had stopped moving a while ago. He was staring at the metia, unable to look away from his father’s face.

“I mean, really!” Anastasia continued loudly, a frantic edge to her voice. Mimi was nodding along theatrically from beside her. “I wonder if we could cross-breed exact replicas of those — what did you call them, Subaru?! Sakura trees?! If those bushes’ similarities really are just the result of convergent evolution, then—! I mean, I know for a fact we have trees very similar to those sakuras in Kararagi, so it’s not all that far off to conclude that we might be able to—!”

[“I wanted you to tell me that and throw me out. I wanted you to make me give up.”]

“…Oh, fuck,” Anastasia managed, finally unable to avoid listening to the conversation.

Next to her, Julius made a horrible, horrible noise.

Onscreen, Subaru continued to speak about how he had grown past these feelings. How he had found a way to live for himself, to start striving to better himself — and how the people he had met since had allowed him to do so. But Ricardo couldn’t focus on any of that, because all he could think was that THIS was the version of Subaru that his parents remembered.

A young boy, on the cusp of their culture’s idea of adulthood, who had suddenly retreated into his shell amidst disapproval from his peers. Who’s difficulties in interacting with others HADN’T been due to a difference in culture after all, with him struggling so much to make and keep his friends even back home that eventually he had felt that he had no choice but to give up in that pursuit entirely. Who had fled from his duties as a scholar and holed himself up in his room, refusing to leave for any reason except to eat. Who was constantly waiting for his two parents who loved him very much to revoke that affection out of frustration and throw him out.

Who was just waiting for an excuse to go and end himself, giving up for good.

Ricardo suddenly thought about Ana-bo. He wasn’t her biological father, but he had — he had bathed her, and fed her, and secured her work, and fought to protect her from unsavory types, and watched her grow up from a little orphan brat into a strong, capable woman. He had known her, and he had loved her, and she had become — family, to him, most definitely. In a sense, perhaps she could be considered his daughter after all.

What would he have done, if Ana-bo had — sometime on the cusp of adulthood — had withdrawn into herself so completely and utterly that she refused to socialize with anyone unless she were forced to do so? That she no longer tried to work, or learn new things, or improve her skills, but instead escaped into storybook after storybook about being whisked away to a place where she could be someone, anyone other than who she had been before? That she curled up in the corner of her room and waited for Ricardo to throw her out on the street, because then she would finally have an excuse to — to finally go and fucking kill herself?

Stop it, Ricardo hissed at himself. But he couldn’t stop.

He wouldn’t have let it get that first in the first place, first of all: he would have dragged Anastasia out of her room by force and force-fed her a decent lifestyle, if need be. In fact, part of him thought that Subaru’s father had been somewhat useless in that regard: had there really been nothing his old man could do to stop him from crawling into his shell and refusing to come out for several months on end? But even if there wasn’t anything he could do about it, he wouldn’t have abandoned her. Even if he were going by Kararagi’s age of adulthood being 15 where — Japan, it was called — their age appeared to be 18, he still would have known her for four, five full years, and that had been more than enough for him to start caring about her more deeply than he had ever expected being able to care about anyone. What would he have done instead? Well, the answer had to be “whatever he could.”

But then, what would he have done, if — in the middle of a depressive spiral so severe — Anastasia had vanished into the night without a trace? He would look for her, obviously. He’d spare no expense, either, and — and he’d keep a tally of every cent he spent, so that when he finally found her again he could shove the receipt in her face and tell her that she was going to work to earn back every last bit in order to make up for scaring him so badly. But then — if he never found her — he’d never stop looking, would he? Or maybe he’d be forced to stop? But then he’d still be waiting, and he’d still be putting up posters and asking for leads, and as the years passed he’d be thinking of what she might look like now, how she might have aged, what sort of life she might be living far away from home, hoping against hope that she hadn’t actually gone and—

But the reality would be worse.

It would have been better if this hypothetical Ana-bo had been given the mercy of a quick death, on her own terms. It would be better if Ana-bo had died just once. It would be better if she didn’t have to experience — being slit open and bled out, being drained of all her energy bit by bit, being thrown down a hallway and crushed by a giant flail in a place where she was supposed to be safe, being tortured by someone she had thought she could trust in the woods where nobody could hear her cry, being attacked by a pack of vicious, wild animals, being publicly humiliated and beaten half to death for the crime of being a brat in the wrong place at the wrong time, being forced to witness the corpses of all of the people she had grown to care about and told that it was all her fault, being kidnapped and tortured in a cave by a madman, being turned away as she begged and pleaded and prostrated herself for help, being chased by a vicious monster intent on erasing her from existence, being frozen to death bit by bit as a vengeful spirit forced her to suffer through every second, being possessed and forced to beg for a mercy kill right when it looked like the world was about to turn out alright, being blown up, being forced to watch as her support network was shattered behind her back once again as her closest friend was erased from everyone’s mind but her own, being forced to suffer again and again and again without an end in sight—!

Was it a mercy, that Natsuki Kenichi would be forced to conclude that his only son had gone and killed himself? Was it a mercy, that he would never find out the truth of what his child was being forced to endure in his absence? Was it a mercy, was it an injustice, what the actual FUCK was this horrible, horrible—!

“Ricardo?”

With slow, jerky movements, Ricardo turned to face Ana-bo. She was watching him with large, worried eyes. She had been so upset a second ago, staring at that metia with a slack jaw as she made a miserable choking sound, and here she was pushing that aside for his sake. How could he have ever deserved—!

“Mmph!”

Ana-bo made a startled noise as Ricardo practically dove for her, wrapping his arms around her and pulling him tight to his chest so that nobody could ever take her from his side. Normally she would protest this action greatly. But now, after a moment of shocked silence, that wise, kind, clever, wonderful daughter of his hugged him back.

“Ya don’t need to cry,” Ana-bo murmured. “‘M not going anywhere.”

In truth, Ricardo hadn’t even noticed that his cheeks were wet. He didn’t have it in him to be ashamed. All he could do was clutch her close and wait for the shaking to subside, bit by bit.

…If it were Anastasia, Ricardo would have prayed for someone to be looking after her in a situation like this. Father to father, he could do the same for Subaru’s old man if need be.

—Though, from the look on Wilhelm’s face, Ricardo wondered if his own involvement would even be necessary.

Wilhelm had his hands raised to cover his mouth in a decidedly uncharacteristic display, so horrified he was by the reveal of the prior state of that young boy. Subaru had… Subaru had…

This wasn’t what he had expected. A young, dumb boy who got into mischief perhaps a little too often for his own good, sure. But a youth who had shrank away from everything so completely, so utterly, that he had really begun to think that there was no future for him at all—!

What a horrible thing for a father to hear from his son. What an awful thing for a son to voice aloud — or to feel, in the first place. Wilhelm had seen blood and carnage and despair on the battlefield, but for some reason it was now that horrified nausea twisted his insides into knots.

“I don’t want to die! I don’t want to die! No! No! Help me! No! I don’t want to die!”

Subaru hadn’t REALLY wanted to die. But — had he not fully understood that, back then? How could he not have known—!

(Wilhelm did not think of his own son, who…may have been left in a similar state. For all of his courage on the battlefield, the Sword Demon could not bring himself to think about that.)

[“FATHER HEADBUTT!!!”]

[Natsuki Kenichi slammed an axe kick down on the head of his beloved only son.]

Julius squawked loudly, abruptly snapped out of his horrified silence. Next to him, Mimi’s despaired expression shifted as she — mercifully — broke into peals of laughter.

[“A lot of what you just said bothers me, but you know what’s the worst?” Kenichi was scolding, suddenly rather serious. “You wanted me to hate you, so you tried to achieve that by playing hookey? Are you dumb?! And if you want to get me to throw you out, pick a more active method! Who would ditch their own kid just because he retreated into his shell?!”]

Ricardo — relaxed, just the slightest bit. At least…at least that old man had told it to him straight. Right?

[“You’re so twisted, you’re on the fast track to being an idiot!” Kenichi cracked his knuckles, grinning. “I’d be glad to set you straight by force if you want…”]

Wilhelm chuckled weakly, trying desperately to force down his turmoil and keep it cool. “Perhaps…Perhaps all fathers have that attitude, even beyond the Great Waterfall…”

Ferris said nothing. Ferris hadn’t moved an inch since the reveal that Subaru had been waiting for an excuse to go and die. Wilhelm didn’t…know what to do.

[“…But it looks like you’ve already been knocked down and stood yourself back up, so there’s no need.” Kenichi’s voice had softened, his fist relaxing into a hand he extended downwards to pull his son back up. Subaru smiled as he accepted it.]

“They really did love him,” Crusch echoed softly. “Didn’t they?”

Anastasia stared wordlessly at the interaction. A very personal sense of loss gnawed at the heart of the former hyena — and a sense of despair at the dawning realization of just how fucked up this situation really was seemed to take over her mind like an invasive species of poisonous flowers.

She reached forward and pulled all three triplets into her lap, hugging them close.

[“Remember what I said?” Subaru was saying. “I found a girl I like. Plus, there's a girl who said she loved me, despite the way I am. And neither one of them knows I'm the son of Natsuki Kenichi. In their eyes, I'm just Natsuki Subaru.” He sighed aloud. “No, in all of their eyes…I was Natsuki Subaru. I finally figured that out.”]

[“It took you long enough. You’re just now coming around to saying all this? I should whack you.”]

Emilia stared at the screen, eyes dull and faded. Rem’s were much the same. On one hand, it was wonderful to be told that Subaru had achieved something so precious due to their influence. It was perhaps the greatest compliment either of them could receive.

But, on the other hand…

[“Um,” Subaru was saying, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. Sorry about putting you through—”]

[“If you feel sorry, all you gotta do is take your time making it up to us.” Kenichi grinned, giving him a thumbs-up. “Take good care of me and your mom when we’re old, my eldest son.”]

In the present moment, Subaru finally made a noise.

It was soft, and quiet, and very hoarse — but Beatrice, who had not taken her eyes off of him once, noticed all the same. “Subaru…?”

Subaru’s pupils had shrunk even past their usual states, his whole body shaking as he stared up at the metia in horror. Tears were staring to bud in the corners of his eyes. More horrible croaking noises were leaving his throat. One by one, the people of the audience turned to see what was going on.

“…Natsuki-san, please—” Otto said, the first to reach out. “It’s alright. It’ll— It’ll be alright—”

“Please don’t cry,” Emilia agreed, unusually gentle. “Please, not…” Not while we can’t hold you.

[The Subaru onscreen had already started to cry. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I— I’m sorry. I can’t— I-I'm sorry! I won't be able to make anything up to you before…” He finally, properly burst into tears. “I will never see you again!”]

As that cold reality was voiced aloud, the Subaru in the present finally sobbed — and with that first step, the entire dam seemed to shatter until there was nothing left for him to do but fall to the floor with a thump, curl into a ball, and wail in despair.

“Subaru—!” Julius cried out, trying desperately to hold back his own tears at the horrible sight.

“Subaru-dono, please!” Wilhelm tried to say, reaching forward to try and ease his cries. His hands met glass. “We’re right here, please just—!”

[“I-I’m sorry!” Subaru apologized, over and over again as his sobs grew and grew and grew. “I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry!”]

“I-I’m sorry,” Subaru echoed weakly, tears streaming down his face to form a puddle under his cheek. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I wanna— I wanna go home—!”

Beatrice choked back a cry of despair of her own. “Subaru—!”

[“No matter how much time passes, you’re still such a handful, son.” Kenichi sighed, but he was smiling as he rubbed a bawling Subaru’s back. “Sheesh…”]

The current Subaru had no such comfort to be given to him. Nobody could reach him, no matter how badly they wanted to, no matter how hard they tried. All there was left for him to do was wail and wail and wail as the horrible despair surrounding his untimely departure collapsed on him anew.

#this’ll probably get expanded later due to being such an important scene #but for now #:)#my ficlets #natsuki subaru #natsuki kenichi #now that’s what i call a dogshow

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