#I wanna see Till's hair without all that hair gel for some reason

[morgana-lefay]

Crazy haircuts galore.

[ssa-daddyhotchner]

Undercover - Chapter 18

Chapter Selection

It's been a month since Hawaii, I've gotten slightly closer to Aaron. Still staying at home, I went to the office 1 day of this week to drop something off to Aaron. 

When I was walking through the bullpen I was bombarded with questions from everyone. I was only responding to Emily and Aaron. I was ignoring everyone else, Morgan was trying to give me a hug. When I backed away and had a scared look on my face he stared at. 

I couldn't bring myself to look at him and I felt like shit for it. I left the office without saying anything and I went home back to what I'd been doing practically everyday. 

__________________________

After y/n left the bullpen and got into the elevator the team walked up the Hotch's office. They all crowded in, "Are you gonna tell you what the hell is going on." Morgan asked Hotch, crossing his arms. "What are you talking about." Hotch stopped working and started at them. 

"Y/n she's been acting weird since Hawaii, Hotch she can't even look at Spencer, Rossi, or me. So you can't just shrug this off." Hotch let out a sigh and looked down. He wasn't going to expose their business. No one even noticed that Emily wasn't in the room.

"It's not my business to tell", Hotch was avoiding their gazes. "She didn't have a problem with any of the girls, what the hell." There was a moment of silence. Spencer looked around and saw Emily staring at them through the window. Spencer walked out of the office and went to her.

"You know what's wrong with her", Emily wasn't going to say anything either but she wasn't going to leave them clueless, they could figure it out on their own. Spencer whispered something in Emily's ear and she nodded, "Oh god." 

__________________________

I sat in bed, my mind constantly running. I was thinking about Mark; he never did something unless he had a reason. There was always a plan... always. Even if it was for some stupid outcome. There was no point to rape me in Hawaii unless he had a reason. 

The more I thought about it the more it made sense. 

My period was late. 

I quickly snapped out of my mind and got into the car. I drove over the CVS and picked up five pregnancy tests. I wasn't leaving this to chance for having a false positive or a false negative. I drove home and opened two of the boxes and went to the bathroom.

I took the tests, covered them and set them on the sink and waited. It had been later than I thought it was, I heard the front door open and close. "Y/n!", Aaron called out. If I am pregnant there's no way I'm hiding it anyways.

"In the bathroom!",Aaron walked down the hallways and he saw me sitting on the toilet waiting. "What are you doing in here", he then saw the tests on the sink and raised his eyebrows looking at me. 

"Are you pregnant?", I shrugged my shoulders. "I'm still waiting", he set his head down and was waiting with me. He was sitting on the edge of the bathtub. I looked at my phone and it had been 3 minutes. I let out a sigh and looked at both of the tests; positive.

My heart dropped and so did Aarons. I felt like I was going to throw up right then. My stomach was twisting and I started gagging, lifting up the toilet seat and letting go. I could feel Aarons hands pulling back my hair. 

He put my hair in a ponytail and started to rub my back. I was too sick to care that he was touching me, right now I needed the comfort regardless of who it was. When I calmed down I wiped my mouth and blew my nose. 

Resting my back against the bathtub I nestled my head on Aarons chest. He was hesitant to put his arm around me and comfort me. I moved my hand and wrapped his arm around me. 

We both let out sighs, "Aar-" I cried out. He was whispering in my ear trying to calm me down. He understood why I was so upset, the baby could Marks or Aaron. We had sex two days before Mark.

"We're going to set up a doctors appointment", I nodded. We stayed there for a few minutes until I came back to my mind and I remembered the situation I was in. I pulled away and sat on the toilet. "I'm going to set the appointment tomorrow", he said okay and I walked out of the bathroom. 

I went to the bedroom and got changed ready to sleep. My eyes were dropping down ready to fall.

I didn't have a dream about that night, but a dream about my kid. My baby was a boy and he was almost like his father; in my dream the dad was Mark. The kid was a serial rapist and he abused women. 

I jolted awake, almost com[lately covered in sweat. Aaron was still sleeping on the floor, I went to the bathroom and dried off. I looked into the mirror and saw the dark circles under my eyes. I was having a restless sleep every night. 

I lowered my head and stared into the sink, my eyes drifting towards the remaining boxes of pregnancy tests. I opened the boxes and took them all. Waiting yet again, maybe those were both false positives. 

I couldn't be pregnant now with Marks baby. As I waited I heard shifting and I saw Aaron stand from the floor. He walked over and leaned against the doorframe, "Baby are we doing this again." I started rubbing my fingers together.

"I just need to be sure", he let out a sigh. 

"Don’t forget to call the doctor later."

Two of them were positive the last one was negative, out of five tests it was a false negative. I threw the boxes and sticks away. He was already dressed in his suit and he gave a thumbs up. 

He let out a quiet 'love you' but he didn't think I'd hear it. 

"Love you too", he turned around and gave me a sad smile before closing the door behind him. I was holding it in even though he's seen me cry before. I was sobbing once he closed it. Based on his reaction to me being pregnant he knew what I was thinking. 

I wanted to get rid of it, I sat on the kitchen counter with my coffee in my hands staring at the bottle that was on the fridge. Just to get it over with; I wanted to down the bottle and never remember the pregnancy. 

I refuse to give birth to that man's baby. It's not even a baby, it's a fetus. It has no brain, no thought, no lungs. The decision broke my heart but I was going to do it, I was gonna have an abortion. I swung my legs off the counter and walked over to the fridge and took the bottle.

I placed it on the counter and stared at it for a few minutes. I took a scot glass and placed it on the counter and poured the shot. I brought it to my lips and right when I was about to toss my head back a take it I stopped. 

I held the glass against my lips and I felt the tears welling up again. I quickly moved it away from my mouth and threw it at the ground. The glass shattered when it made contact with the hardwood floor. The vodka slowly spread on the floor. 

I had a wave of anger over me and I grabbed the neck of the bottle and threw it against the wall. The vodka running down the wall. The shards of glass scattered on the floor. I stared at the large glass shard and picked it up. 

At this moment I didn't wanna live, in my mind I was alone, my abusive ex husband raped me and got me pregnant, I was too afraid to even talk to one of my best friends. I could barely bring myself to even touch my boyfriend. 

When I really thought about it I was about to do it. I had the glass against my wrist, I was ready to take the step and make the quick motion. I came to my senses and dropped the glass. 

I sank to the floor balling up in the corner. 

I was sobbing till there weren't any more tears and I was just sitting there. My eyes were bloodshot. My face was swollen to hell. I was in a state of shock, I don't know how long I sat there. I saw Aaron walk through the door. He didn't see me yet. 

He placed his bag on the floor next to the door and he looked forwards at the mess and me on the floor. He ran over picking up my wrist, there was blood in my palm; a faint amount of blood on my wrist. 

Too bothered to care again he pulled me to his chest, "Honey..." He was crying through his words, I felt his tears drip on my forehead. "Come one we gotta go", I was already dressed. Before we left he put a towel on the vodka.

He helped me into the car. “Baby…”, he exhaled. 

“I’m not going to say that I understand because god knows I don’t… you have to talk about it. I know you don’t want to but if what I saw in there is what I think it was-- y/n just please talk to me, someone please.” 

I stayed still, my wandering hand meeting his on the center console. He looked down and was about to pull away when I grabbed onto it, pulling it into my lap. That was like having my grip on reality… he was my anchor. I never glanced at him, keeping my eyes forward, “Okay.” That was all that was said for the entire drive to the doctors. 

________________________

We got into the parking lot of the Doctors office, and we walked inside. We were walking around the hallway trying to find the door. We found it and Aaron and I walked up to the front desk. 

"Hi we're here for an ultrasound", the secretary was getting ready to start typing. 

"Name?"

"Y/n Y/l/n", she was typing and our appointment popped up on her screen. "Take a seat the doctor will be with you in just a moment." We both said thank you and we sat down. There was barely anyone in the waiting room.

I sat next to Aaron, I pushed all my thoughts aside and just let myself be for a second. I linked my arm with his and held him closer; Aaron was surprised at the action and he didn't move. We sat there blankly; staring at the muted tv that was in the corner.

"Y/n Y/l/n", I turned my head and I stood up walking over; following behind her Aaron close behind. She led us into a room and I sat down on the patient table. Aaron walked to the side of the room taking a seat. 

The doctor went over a few things and started. "Pull your pants down a little and lift up your shirt", I tugged at my pants until they were hanging low on my hips so she could get a few views. She tucked a paper towel in my pants so the gel wouldn't get on my clothes.    

"This is going to be cold", she proceeded to put the gel on my lower abdomen. I had a chill run through my body when she spread it around with the wand. While she was searching, Aaron was rubbing his fingers together staring at the screen. 

"Here you go", She turned the screen and showed the baby to us. She pointed to the screen, "You see that small spec." 

Aaron and I nodded, "That's the gestational sac." My face dropped slightly and I looked at the doctor. "So I am pregnant?" 

"Yes", Aaron put his hands above his head and around his neck. He was trying to not cry, I stayed there in shock; I just got actual confirmation. I had no more tears, the doctor was talking to me but ignored her. 

She understood what was going on and she gave me a paper towel to wipe myself down as she cleaned everything up. 

I grabbed Aarons hand and pulled him out of the building. We sat in his car not talking, he put the keys in the ignition but didn't turn them. 

"Are you going to... get an abortion", he knew that answer; he just wanted to be sure. 

The tears fell from my face as I faced him. He looked over and saw the sadness. I was struggling to find words. "I want too but... I'm also worried about you. We aren't even sure if it is Marks or Yours. But I refuse to carry his baby... I can't." 

I was choking through my words. He reached over and placed a hand on my cheek; he used the pad of his thumb to wipe away the dampness from my face. "Look at me", he was stern; I gazed into his eyes.

"I. will love you know matter your decision okay. I know it might be mine and I'm okay with that. I wouldn't wanna have his kid either. I'd be making the same decision as you. And if it is mine then..." 

He took a chance to find the words, "I still support you 100%. Because I don't know about you but if you. wanted. we can always try again. Minus Mark. You know no confusion." He tried to make me smile and I did weakly but... still worked. 

"I love you", I pulled him into a hug. He head resting on my shoulder. "I know... I love you too." He turned and kissed my temple before resuming the hug. 

I needed this, to feel wanted and not thrown away like I was nothing. I pulled away after a few minutes and he turned on the car. He pulled out of the parking spot and started driving on the road; he was taking me home. Pulling up to his house I got out of the car and walked up to the door.

"You know you really have to get me my own key", I called out to him while I waited for him to open the door. When he unlocked the door my mind went to the broom. "It should be dry now", he was taking the towels off the floor. 

I started sweeping the glass to a pile while he got the dustpan. I moved the glass to the pan and he threw it away. He walked over to the island and set his hands down. "What were you thinking", I knew what he was talking about. 

I dropped my head and walked over in front of him. "I uh... I was going to down half the bottle." His fists tightened. "What were you going to do, try and kill the baby?” I nodded my head and he let out a sigh and walked over to my side. 

"And what about the blood I saw on your wrist and palm?", he was looking for my reaction. 

"Were you going to--", I shook my head in response. "I thought about it. But I wasn't I swear I-... I'm not." I stared into his eyes seeing sadness flash through them. 

"Remember that promise, you're going to keep it. If you're having those thoughts I need to tell the bureau. I don't want to, so you need to talk to someone." They were easy enough. I was going to talk to a therapist.  

I agreed to getting set up with a therapist. Every word he said was right, he'd need to report me. You can’t have an agent that thinks about that and have her carry a gun. It was a bad few seconds but I can't even imagine actually doing it. I'd be leaving everyone behind, and I can't do that to Aaron. 

"Can I touch you?", I didn't respond, I just pulled him into me. I thought it was nice that Aaron was still asking, considering. He wants me to trust him fully, completely and I have for a while. I exhale into the hug sinking more into his chest. 

"Aaron you don't have to ask anymore, okay maybe sometimes but not all the time. I'll tell you if I'm uncomfortable." We chuckled a bit and he pulled me in tighter. My arms rested around his neck, one hand running into his hair. 

His hands made their way down my back and rested on my hips. He felt me tense up and he pulled back. He raised his eyebrows his way of asking if I was ok, I nodded and we both pulled back. 

"I have one question, obviously I'm not gonna rush you but sex... where uh do you stand on that. Again no pressure." I smile at him moving a step closer. 

"I'm mostly good with it, I would just say we should take it slow. I'll let you know when I'm uncomfortable and we can stop." I know he was just making sure, my body surely was ready to take him right there. Mentally I was still haunted by it, I didn't want to be triggered during sex. 

I wanted to test the water; I moved even closer, turning my head and looking at him. 

He knew what I was thinking, and he let me make the first move to be sure. I used my hand to bring his head to mine and I placed a soft kiss on his lips. He kissed back immediately following my lead not wanting to hurt me. 

I missed his lips, the feeling of him against me. He swiped his tongue along my bottom lip and I let him in. His tongue invading my mouth, he bit my bottom lip. He brought his hands to my hips, picking me up and putting me on the counter. 

He used his knee to separate my legs and stand between them. My hands pulled his waist closer to me. I could feel his bugle press against my thigh. He slid his hands up my thighs and grazed my clothed pussy, I moaned at the contact. 

He raised his hand up and tugged at the waistband of my underwear. His cold finger rubbed slow circles on my clit. I was grinding with the motion but started to get a flashback. 

I pulled away from the kiss and put my forehead to his. We were both steading our breaths.

"Too much?"

"Too much", I picked up my head and gazed at him. "I feel bad now." I glanced down looking at his bulge, he wasn't going to finish.

"You shouldn't, I can take care of it. I just wanna make sure you're fine with this." He helped me off the counter and we walked into the living room. How the hell did I get this lucky to have this man by my side.

I turned on the tv and started watching The Dark Knight. As I was saying the lines to the movie, Aaron was watching me with a smile on his face.

____________________

@wanniiieeee  @appleblossoms-posts @mac99martin @donttellanyoneireadfanfiction @oreogutz @marie1115  

[xiaolindude]

As cartoons as simplifications of reality, they cannot show us every detail we may imagine! What are some features Raimundo has that you consider particularly salient, and is there anything about how your Raimundo looks that may deviate from the cartoons style you can imagine? (things like freckles, height, clothing style).

[ omg i am sO HERE TO DISCUSS RAI YOU HAVE NO IDEA

okay so first of all, i completely agree. cartoons are simplifications and also amplifications of reality. Character designers get to pick and choose which traits are gonna be exaggerated.

So Rai has a very very round head in the series - it’s a stylistic choice, and I choose to believe that he does have a round face. In fact, I think all his features are quite rounded - i don’t think he has a lot of sharp angles on him. Obviously not to the extent of the show, though! I also think he gets a bit of a jawline (and some facial hair) as he ages but his face always has a relatively soft/non-angular quality

His nose is actually quite small in the show, but then again, everyone’s noses seem pretty small so that’s probably another stylistic thing rather than a specific character choice. But the way I draw Rai is with a slightly bigger and more rounded nose. I just… like it? Idk. like when I picture him in my head, that’s what he looks like.

^ this is from a personal project that’s still ongoing but it kinda shows how i like to interpret his head and facial features! obviously it’s just a quick sketch and still a cartoon but it’s not quite as stylised as XS, so it gives a better idea what i think his actual features would look like irl

I can totally see him having freckles! He’s out in the sun aaaaall the time, after all. He’s basically solar powered. But I think, because he’s very tanned, they’d be hard to see - you’d have to get up close to him to notice the faint freckles across his nose and cheeks and shoulders.

He’s also shown to be somewhat tall. Clay is obviously the tallest but Rai seems to not be too far off. He’s about the same height as Jack. My personal headcanon is that he’s not super tall as an adult. I think he ends up average male height. Thought picturing a big lanky rai flying around the temple is kinda funny…

He’s muscular in the show (he’s shown to have strong shoulders, strong pecs and a damn 6 pack so like yh he’s strong and he Knows It), but he’s not beefy, ya know? clay is strong and it shows - he’s a Big Dude. but with rai, the muscle is kinda distributed, so he actually still looks kinda slim, in a way? he’s more of an athletic build. i feel like clay is stronger overall, but rai’s muscles are more well defined. Also I personally headcanon that rai has pretty broad shoulders, especially as an adult.

Interestingly, he and clay are both drawn without body hair. however, jack is shown to have chest hair and leg hair. So are clay and rai just naturally fairly hair-less? so far in their lives, at least? I haven’t thought much about this, tbh, but I can see rai’s body hair taking a while to kick in, and him being super impatient about it. After all, we’ve seen that he thinks facial hair is cool - when he’s daydreaming about being the best surfer, for example, he imagines himself with facial hair. I bet he can’t wait till he can grow it! 

my rai loves hoodies. he just. loves them. he lives in hoodies. his wardrobe is very simple and he basically just lives in t-shirts and hoodies. I can’t see him liking jeans very much, as they’re quite restrictive and he’s a pretty active guy. He prefers shorts and loose pants with room to move

MY FAVOURITE THING ABOUT RAI: his eyebrows. i love his eyebrows. so. much. i love that they’re just big and dark and expressive idk??? to me, his eyebrows and his green as green eyes are his most standout features. I like it because not a lot of characters get to have Big Eyebrows. they’re usually just average/generic, well-plucked, or like overly-bushy (usually reserved for elderly characters). So it’s nice to have uniquely shaped and sized eyebrows on a younger dude. I take their shape and size in the show as pretty gospel for this reason, and just translate them onto whatever drawing i’m doing of him (see the above example)

i also think he has thick, dark eyelashes and very expressive eyes. he totally bats his eyelashes/does puppy eyes to get what he wants. it worked especially well when he was little because he was an adorable kid so that just added to it.

finally, for now, i wanna bring up his hair. it’s spiky and voluminous in the show and i completely agree with that! i know it’s quite popular in the fandom (or was, back in the day) to just assume he gels it, and i get why, but i personally don’t headcanon that. after all, his hair looks the same even after he’s just woken up! So I choose to believe that the spiky way it’s drawn is kinda more to represent that it’s pretty messy. I can see him having the softest, loveliest thick hair buuuuuutttt it’s a mess at the same time pffft.

so… yeah. those are my ‘non-cartoony details about rai’ hot takes off the top of my head! thanks for the question c: ]

[baldtaelovemaze]

Till death shoots us apart (2)

Mafia!au

Yoongi X Reader X Hoseok ft. got7

Warnings: mentions of death, illegal things, sex, and violence

Words: 3k

To free herself from her abusive husband she must pay the biggest debt of them all. Murder his rival but what happens if she falls for the man she is supposed to kill?

previous part.

[previously]

Finally, you reached the back door and walked out. The sound of your heels and could be heard tapping the pavement of the Brooklyn streets. Soon after you heard the steps of someone else.

You smirked.

Got him.

Not long after that thought passed your mind, you were pinned to the brick wall by your shoulders. You looked up and came face to face with a panting Yoongi. His raven hair covered his lust filled eyes.

"Just where do you think you're going with that pretty little mouth of yours, missy?" He grumbled from depths of his throat.

You smirked in satisfaction, bottom lip stuck between your teeth, you stood nose high with no Intentions of breaking eye contact.

You observed him. The way he would undress you with just the help of his eyes, the way his chest would rise and fall and most importantly the way his neck would glisten with sweat. Your eyes lingered on his neck for longer than you'd like to admit.

He was indeed, truly attractive.

"Why do you wanna know ?" You cocked your head to the side, exposing your neck in return. You simpered when you saw his brown orbs bounce down to your throat then back to your eyes.

"You think you can just look at me like you did, talk to me like you did and then leave?" He chuckled with a shake of his head. Past his raven hair, his eyes burned holes in yours.

"Who do you think I am?" The sound of his deep voice -so deep it almost sounded like he was growling made you want to press your knees together, anything to create some kind of friction to your core.

That thought alone caught you off guard. How was he making your knees go weak with little to no effort?

Not even Hoseok had managed to get your aroused in such little time in your early stages of dating.

Focus y/n , you can't give in.

Crossing your arms, you switch your weight to your left foot. The night was windy but you knew for a fact that the wind wasn't the only reason goosebumps formed on your skin.

"I don't care about who you are." You ran your tongue over your red painted lips, moisturizing them in the process.

The moon illuminated his visage with a blue tinge. His brows creased and you watched as he sniggered.

"I'll make you scream my name that way you'll care about me till the day you die." He puckered his lips, aiming for yours but with the help of your arms reaching between your two bodies and pushing him off, he missed.

You grabbed him by the collar and leaned in to whisper in his ear, making sure that your lips grazed his earlobe.

"Unfortunately for you, I am not a little whore with no morals. You could of least asked my name, right?"

His breath hitched and the raven-haired man remained silent.

"705 upper James street. That's where I work tomorrow." With that, you let go of him and walked passed him all while swaying your hips seductively. His orbs burned holes through your posterior but you didn't dare look back.

Now all you had to do was hope that the man would show up because if he did I'd be game over for him. You'd have him right where you wanted him. ______ 8AM was the time.

This early in the morning you'd usually still be sleeping alone in your shared bed with Hoseok probably somewhere cheating on you or recovering from his hangover in the living-room but on this windy Monday in Brooklyn, you were changing the diaper of a ten-month-old baby in a rundown daycare.

You always loved children and wanted some of your own one day but when Hoseok grew irresponsible, you quickly abandoned your dreams of motherhood.

This was the perfect fake job to soften the mobster's heart. By now you knew that they were all the same, hard on the outside and very soft on the inside. He had to have a soft spot for babies....right?

After bribing the daycare by paying off their debts, Hoseok had managed to get you this job in less than a day. He knew where you worked but not where you lived and you planned on keeping it that way. No matter how many times the clingy man would beg for you to tell him, you refused.

He would probably show up in the middle of the night -extra drunk and horny, wanting your attention and in all honesty, feeling his fingers on your skin made you want to rip his head off at times. Knowing he had been with multiple other women while in a committed relationship with you disgusted you and made you ask yourself why deep down in your heart you still loved him.

You shook vigorously your head as if that would make all the frustrating thoughts of him fall right out of your mind.

It didn't.

"Y/ n, there's somebody here for you." you faintly heard you coworker shout from the front door.

Your smile grew too wide as you gently picked up the baby from the changing table a put him down where he crawled happily with the rest of the babies. You made your way to the door carefully, making sure not to step on a baby's hand or foot -or just a baby in general.

There he was, leaning on the door. The black coat he wore engulfed his pale body in warmth. No doubt in mind that he was probably hiding a gun somewhere. Perhaps in the back pocket of his ripped denim jean?

He wasn't the tallest of men but his presence was definitely intimidating.

"So y/n is the name, huh ?" He grumbled, still leaned against the doorframe.

You grin, body slightly bent and pressed against the counter waiting for him to get to you.

He finally moves, Steps lazy and slow, he isn't smiling.

"You know ... you're the first girl I had to put this much effort into." he exhales, scratching the back of his neck with his lanky fingers.

"Wow, then I don't want to know what kind of girls you've been with." You grimace. "Letting you fuck without even knowing my name? Pathetic." you prop your elbows on the counter and rest your head in your palms. You glance up through your lashes, playful smile on your lips. "what do you want?"

His brows jump and this time he's pushed back his hair with the help of gel so they're on full display.

"You're literally the one that told me to come here?"

"Nah ah, hold your horses' buddy," You hold out your index just inches away from his nose "I just kinda mentioned you where I worked. I  never specifically asked you to come. So I am asking again, what do you want?"

He throws his head back, laughing out loud before regaining his stoic expression. "Wow, this girl..." he tuts "You must truly not know who I am?"

"Yes, and I also don't care ." You pipe, amused. Irritating him must have been the funniest thing you'd seen in a while.

His thin lips would pucker into a pout, he’d sigh or grumble something, he’d look up at the sky just to avoid making eye contact : that was Min Yoongi in a flustered state and you'd only seen little of it but it was a no-brainer that getting him this way was now one of your favorite things.

"Let's see how you'll sass me when your mouth would be filled with my c-"

"HEY!" blood rushes to your cheeks as you dart your eyes around the room to see if any of your coworkers had heard anything from his sinful mouth "First of all, we are in public and second of all, the  CHILDREN." You squeak out.

He finally smiles.

"Anyways since you're insisting ..." he extends his arm, looking at his short nails in utter boredom -he had the habit of biting them off when alone. "fine I'll go on a date with you, just because I pity you." His gums showed when he smiled cheekily, loving the way your face morphed in confusion.

You burst out laughing "I know this is probably the first time you've asked a lady out since before you were too busy being a man whore but no need to put words in my mouth, sir."

The corners of his lips can't help but lift themselves into a small grin, eyes taking in how beautiful you look barefaced and pressed against the counter comfortably. "Did you just call me a whore?"

You burst out laughing again.

"Say that again and I won't just be putting words in your mouth-"

You choke on your spit, eyes bulging and once again looking over your shoulder to make sure no one heard. "Hdhshshs STOP WITH THE sexual JOKES mmthanks"  you made sure to shout every word but 'sexual' as you grabbed your jacket then his arm and led the both of you out the door.

"W-wait can you just leave work like that ?" Brows furrowed in worry, Yoongi looks over his shoulder, the distance between your two bodies and the daycare continuously increasing with each step you took. "A-ah yes, I was actually just filling in for a coworker but she's arrived now "You lie and grimace over how obvious it sounds that it isn't true but you're quick to change the subject. "Now, what about this date?"

"Quack Quack !" You chased the duck alongside the pond playfully.

You used to do this all the time with your brother before you met Hoseok

"You know, when I said date I wasn't imagining this" he lets out lazily, slouching himself deeper into the park's bench.

You stop mid-track, chest heaving with your hands in your back pockets, you walk over to him.” I haven't known you for more than two days but I can already tell moving or doing anything with your body other than sex of course" you mumbled that last part "isn't your cup of tea " you finish with a sigh.

"You're not completely wrong about that but you're also not completely right "he mutters, hinting at his gangster life he thinks you're oblivious to. The mafia world was truly ruthless when it came to physical stuff. You had to be in good shape in order to fight and defend yourself better which meant he worked either by going to the gym and running on a treadmill or running from bullets in a drug-échange-went-wrong scenario.

You cock your head to the side, acting confused as if you had no idea what he was trying to say. The man smiles briefly. "you know, I think you're the first women I spent this much time without doing anything sexual." He stated a matter of faculty.

"T-thank you ... I guess?" You carefully sit beside him making sure to leave some space between your two bodies.

"Now that I've come to think about it, I don't actually know your name." You lie. Even if you lied you still felt embarrassed about not asking his name sooner-of course you knew it but hello you had a game to play here- your cheeks turn crimson at the thought of you practically scolding him for not asking for your name last night.

He lets out a deep chuckle, a mischievous smile spreads across his visage." I think you should earn the right to know my name" the tension between you two was thick -thicker than his sniper Jungkook ass. You force yourself to not think about the amount of time you spent looking at jungkook back in the club when he’d get up. 

But this wasn't a Jungkook story, no it wasn’t.

 You were defying  Yoongi with your eyes and he was doing the same. You rose a brow and he did the same. You lifted your chin and guess what? He did the same! 

You finally broke the eye contact "Wow, you're serious?" A sigh escapes your lips.

"Yep" 

This fucking bitch.

"Okay, whatever. Let's go somewhere fun, nameless stranger" You bounce off the seat, quickly intertwining your fingers in his and pulling him up.

Butterflies erupt in his stomach for the first time.

Its so sudden and he can't comprehend the feeling so he gasps for air, thinking that id help somehow and you're quick to turn your head around worried, only to see his cheeks flushed. The weather has considerably dropped so you don't think any further, regaining your consistent steps.

"It's here " you look back, a sly smile on your mouth. You had dragged him here by foot even though he had a car because you insisted that the windy Brooklyn air would aid him, considering what had happened moments before.

Of course, he complained all the way till you arrived in front of a building He looked back at you, eyebrows screwed together in confusion.

"Laser Quest?"

"Laser Quest!" You sang out cheerfully.

The man was a mobster Guns Laser quest equals guns too. But no deaths just fun. The goal of the game was to shoot as many people in order to win.

You knew Yoongi would love this sort of game. You could tell by the way he was smiling after the worker explained the rules of the game to him.

He struggled and you watched him.

Five minutes had passed and the man was still struggling to strap his vest on.

That surprised you 

All the bulletproof vests he must have worn yet, he can’t put on a laser quest vest ?? Boi if u don't.

"Suga, come here I'll help you ."

You place yourself in front of the man taller than you by only a few inches.

His eyes bounce up from the tricky straps to you. Gaze immediately hardening.  You had just called him by his the name he used underground. 

In his mind, you were oblivious to his double life but calling him that proved him wrong You did it on purpose because playing with fire thrilled you. It sent you a wave of adrenaline which pumped into your veins a spread over your body like a sick disease.

Your life depends on the next words you’d choose.

"Since your not telling me your name I thought calling you Suga would be nice. You're pale and your smile is sweet so the name suits you the most " your smile was innocent, tugging on the straps of his vest playfully. You flutter your lashes.

His expression softens but he remains unreadable as he studies your features. You couldn't decipher what he was thinking no matter how hard you tired.

Fuck, why did I say that? What was I thinking? Now out of all-

  He pecks you on the lips, catching you off guard, you fling your eyelids open, sucking in a breath.

"Can you please help me with my vest ?" He pipes sweet and innocent.

You don’t budge, too lost in the feeling of his lips on your to even acknowledge that he’d just asked you something.

 It was the first man who had kissed you other than Hoseok.

It was small but you still felt it, the peng of guilt in your heart. Perhaps, your body still believes you belong to Hoseok. His touch is the only thing you are truly familiar with.  You had to be real with yourself, you might have left that man but it wouldn't be an easy task forgetting the feelings stored deep in your heart that hammered against your chest wildly.

Despite all the emotions you felt for the redhead, it didn't stop the flutter, the adrenaline that rushed in after Yoongi placed his lips on yours.

You cleared your throat almost aggressively "D-don't k-kiss me without my permission" you stuttered, Strapping him up too tightly on purpose. With one final tug, you finished, stepping back and beelining for the door where the game was held behind.

It was better than expected. It was fun. He was fun. When he unsurprisingly won the game, picked you up bridal style and started spinning you around. That was fun. When he smiled at you and thanked you because he was genuinely having a good time... That was adorable. It made your heart stutter.  Especially when after winning the game he asked for a kiss on the cheek and just when you were about to kiss him he unexpectedly turned around just in time to collide his lips with yours That was nice...

Snap out of it y/ n! Don't forget why you're here!

Reminded yourself again -you had a feeling you were going to be doing that a lot.

You're here to seduce him. You're just doing this to earn his trust don’t forget it.

In moments like these when your heart would go soft, you thought of your brother. Your sick brother waiting for you to come back for him and run off with him to a better life. That put you right back in your place. The genuine smiles you gave Yoongi earlier would now become fake.

"Now do I have the right to know your name, Suga?" A smile graced his soft features and the little wrinkles near his eyes made this mobster even more adorable. You picked on the extra cheese that fell from your pizza as you waited for an answer.

The restaurant area near the arcade was filled with the laughs of children, teenagers and the frustrated groans of the parents that lost their kids in the crowd.

Lips parted, he was about to speak but he was soon interrupted by the chime of his phone. 

He sighed, annoyed when checking the caller iD.

He chose to ignore it, not wanting to spare you his attention longer than he already had. You waved it off, taking about four more bites of your pizza until it had completely disappeared

 You were tempted to get up and buy some more but heck you have more important things to do - "Soooo...?" you started losing patience.

"Well-" His phone rung

This time he picked up. "Why are you calling me? Didn't I say this was my day of-" he was cut short by the person on the other side of the line. He listened attentively, nodding and humming every once in a while.

He hung up, standing abruptly from his chair, he sent you an apologetic smile.

"I-i need to go I'm sorry.”He dug into his pocket to retrieve money and soon after slapped two 50 dollar bills on the table “take an uber or something.” he managed to spit out before disappearing into the crowd.

That's how the date ended. He left you at Laser Quest alone and ran off to whatever businesses he had to urgently attend to.

Shortly after, you left too.

The day after, 1PM.

You got out of your shitty Toyota Corolla with a huff, ready for your second day of work. To your luck, you worked the third shift so you slept in this morning.

The little bell chimed as you got into the daycare.

"Y/n!"  at the counter stood Yoongi.

Eyes filled with relief, he leaped towards you, lacing your fingers with his.

You stood unfazed, still sour over how the date had ended. 

He smiled, tight-lipped. "I've been here since 7am waiting for you. I'm sorry about how I left yesterday. Something urgent came up."

You softened, looking up at his orbs who screamed for forgiveness.

"I needed to see you again" There it was again. The stutter of your chest. The untamed butterflies.

[itwascrabpeople]

start a craze (ignite the airwaves) // septiplier

Boys in a band, touring and writing songs and pining. AKA Septiplier Band!AU, where they all meet when they're teenages and start a band.

Also on AO3.

DISCLAIMER: Any situations written involving real people are fictional, and are in no way meant to be actual implications on their personal lives, s'just for fun! So please press that back button if any of this makes you uncomfortable!

“Hey, you’re the Irish exchange student, right?” Bob asks, handing him a can of coke.

“Half-right,” Jack says, twirling a drumstick between his fingers. “We moved here from Ireland. Signe’s the exchange student. People keep gettin’ that mixed up.”

They’re in the basement of Bob’s house, it’s crowded by instruments and old furniture, including a single couch pushed into the corner.

“Sorry,” Bob says, pushing up his glasses. “Wade said he met you on Friday and wanted you for the band. So you’ve gotta be pretty good, huh.”

“I guess, he was sick today apparently, but said I should still come audition,” Jack tells him, then nods at the bass in Bob’s hands. “You’re the bassist?”

“Yeah, I have no real musical talent,” Bob laughs, “but I’m passable at bass, thus Mark dubbed me the bassist. Sorry about the room, by the way, my parents are the only ones that let us play.”

“Nah, It’s cool,” Jack says, “thanks for the coke.”

“No problem,” Bob says, smiling, “you can show us what you got as soon as Mark gets down here.”

“Already here, Bobby m’boy!”

Jack turns, and is faced with a strange rush of something at the sight of this Mark guy. Probably because of how close he’s standing to him.

“Whoa.”

“Oh hi, I’m Mark, I sing and write lyrics and stuff,” Mark says, taking a step back and sticking out his hand. His voice is deeper than Jack would’ve expected it to be. “You’re Sean, right? You're gonna be in our band?”

“Jack, actually,” he corrects as he shakes Mark’s hand, feeling lightheaded. “And… you haven’t even heard me play yet.”

“Oh!” Mark smiles warmly, then sidesteps. “Sorry man, go ahead!”

“Um, anything in particular? Any styles?” For some reason he can’t stop staring dumbly at this Mark guy. With his stupid shark-fin hair, and his stupid eyes, and his stupid big friendly smile, and his stupid hot voice. It has to be because of how stupid it all is. Definitely.

“Whatever you like, man,” Mark says, and there’s that warm smile again.

Jack goes and sits at the drumkit, and, with one last look at Mark, he plays.

 *

They gel pretty quickly, him and Mark. He’s shy about letting Jack see his lyrics at first but once he does Jack swears he can practically hear the songs.

He gives suggestions about moving some lines around, and when he tries out a simple beat Mark starts humming along, and when Ethan comes down he starts working out the guitar and bass sections immediately.

After that first night of practise, Mark beams at him like he’s made of magic and insists that Jack comes to his place the next day. And Jack - with his heart caught in his throat - of course he’s not going to say no.

He realises he’s pretty much doomed from here on out.

 *

“So you’ll do it right? You’ll be in the band?” Mark asks, eyes trained on Jack like if he looks away he’ll bolt. They’re standing on the porch of Mark’s house, waiting for Jack’s brother to come pick him up. They’ve just finished their second band practise, and Jack has to admit that they sound pretty good.

“Well.. I didn’t just come here for the food,” he says, scratching the back of his head. He looks down at the sealed container of leftovers Mark’s mom insisted that he take. “But I’ll have to next time if your Mom makes whatever this is called again, yum.”

“Kimbap, Wade likes it too so she always makes it for lunch when he’s over,” Mark tells him, then tilts his head, “So that’s a yes?”

“O’ course it’s a yes,” Jack smiles. He sees his brother’s car drive into the street. “I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”

“Yeah, great! Y’know, we’re gonna be really awesome.” Mark tells him, sounding so sincere that Jack can’t help but to believe him. Mark grins widely and, for some reason, ruffles Jack’s hair before heading back inside.

Jack tells his brother to shut up when he asks why he’s blushing.

 *

“If one more douchebag asks me to play with his drumstick, I’m quittin’ the band.”

“Jack noo,” Mark says blandly, staring at his phone. “This is gonna be our Behind The Music breakup, isn’t it? It was all over after one gig at a sleazy bar.”

“I’m surprised they even let us play,” Bob says, loading a speaker into the back of the van. “Tell Danny those fake IDs were legit.”

“Yeah, maybe too legit,” Jack says, shuddering. “Agh, one guy’s breath smelt like alcohol, vomit, and regret - how’d they miss the whole underage thing up close and personal? I’m practically prepubescent!”

Bob tilts his head. “Yeah, you look sixteen, and some guys are into that,” he says, cringing. “Creepy guys.”

Mark peeks up from his phone to look at Jack. “Nobody like, touched you or anything, right?”

Jack looks at him, noting the hint of concern in his voice. “Nah, there wasn’t no bad touch, thankfully.”

“Good,” is all Mark says, looking down again. “Or I’d’a, you know…”

Jack clasps his hands together and bats his eyelashes at him. “Would you’ve defended my honour, Markipoo?”

What Mark says sounds like ‘shut up’ as he turns away with a blush forming on his cheeks, but what Jack hears is ‘yes’.

 *

They got close to it once, earlier on. They were drunk and camping out in someone’s living room between shows. Wade and Ethan were passed out on the couches, snoring, while Bob had opted to sleep in the van. Jack was seventeen, and at the time he thought underage drinking made him cool as shit.

“You know, you’re my best friend, Jack,” Mark had said sincerely. He was glassy eyed and his face was all red, it tended to get really flushed whenever he drank.

“Dude,” Jack said, leaning up on his elbow. “You’re like, my first best friend ever . But you’re also the best one. Y’know what I’m sayin’?”

“Yeah,” Mark agreed, rolling onto his side to face Jack properly. Without his glasses and his hair all mussed up he looks really young, and sort of vulnerable.

“I never wanna lose that, you know?” Mark went on.” What we have… it’s different, it’s ours, it’s... special.”

Ordinarily Jack would have laughed at that, cheesy as it is, but being an emotionally drunk teenager, and Mark looking at him like he meant every word - he took it to heart.

“Yeah,” Jack sighed, and Mark moving in closer felt like another reality, a slower one where all Jack could do was lean in too and close his eyes.

Then Wade snorted really loudly, and Mark just laughed and laid back down as if nothing world-shattering was just about to happen.

And at that moment, Jack remembers thinking to himself, ‘oh no, I really love him’.

 *

They have a hit on their hands, their manager says. They don’t believe it till they’re out on the road, and Bob turns up the radio. Wade nearly swerves them off the road in shock.

The opening line; I was crawling around in my head in the haze of a trance…

Mark catches Jack’s hand and starts singing along loudly, at stoplights and in backstreets. And it’s the last time they drive to a show in that shitty van.

 *

Jack sighs and sets down his drumsticks. Wade and Ethan jostle the bus from the outside, trying to push it out of a ditch as Bob revs the engine.

“Y’know what they say,” Jack says, “if the bus is a-rockin’...”

“I’ve got my cock in,” Mark finishes, grinning at Jack from across the table.

“You’re such a moron,” Jack says, but he’s laughing too, and looks out the window just in time to see Ethan charge at the bus. “Although, not as moronic as those two, apparently.”

“I dunno, I kind of admire their optimism.”

Wade slams onto the bus then, huffing and sweaty as he looks at them with wide eyes. “You guys have just been sitting here this whole time?!”

“Hey, we helped!” Jack says, leaning back. “Like, the first couple o’ minutes.”

“Then we realised that none of us have the manpower to move this thing,” Mark chimes in, and flexes his arm out at Wade. “Not even my huge muscley manliness could help, it’s hopeless.”

Jack mentally congratulates himself for only glancing at Mark’s bare arm as he nods. “Y-yeah! Not our fault ya idiots are still trying.”

“Well we need to do something!” Wade says exasperatedly, a hand pressed to his forehead. “We have no freaking reception and we’re out in the middle of nowhere!”

“Actually,” Jack starts slowly just as Ethan clambers back onto the bus, “I got a signal and called a local tow company.”

“And you didn’t think to tell us that?” Ethan’s skinny form slumps right onto the table. “I can’t feel my arms. Or my legs. Or most of my upper body.”

“We liked watching you try.” Mark shrugs, petting Ethan’s blue head consolingly. “It was admirable... in a sorta fruitless way.”

“And I really thought you had it like eleven minutes in,” Jack adds, nodding at Wade who is just watching them with quiet rage. His eye’s twitching - does it normally do that? “So at least I believed in you.”

 *

 Jack dyes his hair green in the middle of their tour, and Mark decides dying his red would be cool. Wade says they look like Christmas one night on stage between songs.

“Form of -  mistletoe!” Mark says, coming ‘round to Jack behind his kit and shaking his hair in his face. Jack laughs and shoves him back playfully, and the crowd loves it, cheering.

“I need a haircut, man,” Mark says. “Hey Jack, what would your superhero name be?”

“Um,” Jack says into his rarely-used mic. “JackSepticEye’s what they called me in Ireland, ‘cause I had a septic eye once, and m’name’s Jack.”

“Mine is Markiplier, apparently.” Mark shrugs. “That was my username on myspace I think, like eighty years ago. The fans found it. Meeerkiplier.”

“Those are both shit hero names,” Bob says, strumming his bass as the crowd laughs. “You’d be shit super heroes. Mark Septic Plier Tank? The hell is that? Besides, you’re both too short.”

“Hey!” Ethan says indignantly, and someone in the crowd screams “I love you Ethan!”

“Eh, whatever, shush, shush ,” Mark commands, waving his hands down. Once the crowd is quiet enough, he leans in and sings the first lines of one of their sillier songs, “Hate to tell you honey, but Wilford Warfstache killed a man…”

 *

“Ohh home sweet not-the-road!” Mark exclaims as soon as he’s through the door, making his way towards the kitchen and flopping onto the counter. “Oh, overpriced kitchenette, I’ve missed you so.”

“Dude, I forgot you had a house!” Jack says as he walks in after him. “And a kitchen!” He glances at Mark and goes to hug the fridge since the counter’s taken.

“I forgot what not having to disinfect every surface before you touched it was like,” Mark says, voice muffled.

Jack opens the fridge and sighs. “I forgot food wasn’t only provided by truckstops and questionable club owners.”

“I forgot that you guys don’t shut up,” Tyler yells from the living room. “Like. Ever.”

“Tyler!” They both say excitedly, and run to greet him. It’s an awkward six-armed hug, but they manage.

“Aw,” Mark says, “I forgot what having a surly roommate dictating my every move was like.”

“Hey Tyler!” Ethan says, opening his arms to join the group hug.

“Wait, never mind,” Mark grunts as he’s crushed between them all. It’s a good day.

 *

“I guess the songs are okay, but babe, do they have to be so… down ?” Mel makes a sad pouty face, as though Mark can just rewrite the whole album for her when they’re at a party celebrating that it just went platinum. God, Jack hates her.

“Ah-hum, well the songs are pretty personal, yeah,” Mark says, looking down at his drink. “I thought “Calling Doctor Schneeplestein” was pretty upbeat though.”

“Yeah I guess,” she says with a grimace. “The drum solo was a bit much - no offense Jack, but yeah.”

“Oh, offense taken, Mel,” Jack says, a fake grin plastered on his face as he sips his drink - whiskey and coke - and murmurs, “Ya shady bitch ,” into his glass. If Mel hears this she doesn’t show it, and proceeds to ignore him like she usually does.

She’s entwining her pinky with Mark’s, using her cutesy voice as she says, “C’mon babe, I'm dying for a drink.” Mark looks to Jack for some reason, opening his mouth like he has something to say before she drags him away.

Eventually Wade comes over, bottle of beer in his hand as he leans against the wall beside Jack.

Wade bumps him with his shoulder. “You holding up okay, buddy? I feel like you’ve had that glass half-full all night.”

Jack barely hears him, watching Mel parade Mark around the room like a trophy. “Is it just me, or is she the worst?”

“Who?” Wade asks, then follows Jack’s line of sight and rolls his eyes. “Oh .”

Jack turns to him at that. “What?”

“Nothing,” Wade says, taking a swig of his beer. “Only... you know you say that about all the girls he dates, right?”

“I do not,” Jack says indignantly, setting his glass down. “I thought Amy was cool.”

“Yeah, after she married Kathryn and moved to Connecticut.”

“She was cool before that!”

“Before she dated Mark, you mean,” Wade says, a small smile on his face. “Then it was all, ‘man, has Amy been kind of an asshole lately, or what’. don’t you remember?”

“This is different. Mel has her head shoved so far up her own ass I’m surprised she can still communicate verbally,” Jack says, and unconsciously starts to fiddle with his wristbands. “Mark doesn't need someone like that. He needs someone that isn’t vapid, someone that actually cares about him, that gets him like...”

“Like… you?” The smile is evident in Wade’s voice alone.

“Shut up,” Jack says, blushing as he picks his drink back up and downs the rest of it. He can feel Wade’s eyes on him, but refuses to look up.

“It’s okay that you’re in love with him, you know,” Wade tells him, and Jack swears he can feel his heart drop to the pit of his stomach. There’s no way he can know - he’s hidden it so well.

“Wh-what,” Jack says quickly, breathlessly, “I don’t… you don’t… I don’t.” His hands won’t stop shaking so he clenches them at his sides, hoping it goes unnoticed.

Wade places a heavy hand on his shoulder, and somehow it sets Jack at ease, makes him feel a little more grounded.

“It is okay, Jack. You have to know that,” is all Wade says, then after a smile and a gentle pat on the shoulder, he walks away, probably to go find Molly.

Jack takes a deep breath, and after a few minutes of settling himself down he decides it’s time to go order another drink.

 *

It’s not like Jack just pines for Mark and doesn’t date other people. There was Signe in high school for like two weeks. Then Robin. And Jack will count Felix even though that never really went anywhere.

So he’s not totally pathetic. He just... can’t help that his stupid heart doesn’t leap at the thought of anyone but Mark.

And if that idiot can’t see how gone Jack is like bloody everyone else can, well, he has to figure that it’s on purpose.

 *

“It will, Bob, it’ll fuck up the band,” Jack hears Mark say from the other side of the bus. He thought they were asleep. It’s like three in the morning and they have a gig tomorrow, but Jack woke up needing to pee and the great outdoors seemed a fine choice for a toilet.

“You’re an idiot if you think something like a real relationship is gonna fuck with the band,” Bob says.

Ah, Jack figures they’re talking about Mel. They'd broken up just over a week ago, Jack doesn’t know the specifics as to why, but Mark hasn't seemed all that upset about it anyway.

“Being in love is a good thing, Mark. You can have good things.”

Something about the way Bob says this reminds Jack of what Wade said to him that night at the party. It's okay for you to be in love with him, you know.

“I don’t know,” Mark says, sighing. “I don’t know and I hate that I don’t know.”

“Look, you guys, together,” Bob says, “it just... works. It always worked.” Jack hates him a little for this. Since when is Bob so gung-ho about Mark and Mel getting back together?

“And when it doesn’t?”

"If anything actually happens because you finally grow some fucking balls,” Bob says, and Mark chuckles a little at this. “If something does go wrong. We’ll still be a band. You’ll still be my friend.”

“At least I’ll have that going for me,” Mark laughs weakly.

“Yeah, at least.”

Jack quietly heads back onto the bus, but he doesn’t manage much sleep.

The next day, Mel releases a sex tape of her and Mark.

 *

“Oh…” Jack says, and for some reason he can’t bring himself to look in Mark’s direction. “No it’s not like that… we’re uh…”

“...Not together... like that,” Mark finishes for him, and for a long moment no one says anything. Even the lady interviewing them seems to sense the tension as she glances between them.

“Well the fans sure do “ship” it, haha,” she says, tapping her pen against her clipboard. “So, any real romance happening in your lives, or does the touring keep you busy?”

“It does keep us all very busy, but we’d like to keep that sorta stuff personal, regardless,” Bob answers, then smiles innocently. “If you don’t mind.”

“Of course not! It must be so overwhelming having the spotlight suddenly on you,” she says, faux-sympathy written all over her face. “Mark, I know you’ve been dealing with some heavy media attention lately.”

“Is that a question?” Jack snaps, already frustrated with how this interview has gone. When he feels everyone’s eyes on him he looks away, face flushed.

“It’s just that you’ve all been so... quiet,” she says carefully, “Which is understandable, but I’m sure your fans would love a comment from you Mark, and of course from your fellow band members.” She smiles, and it reminds Jack of a bloodthirsty shark circling its prey.

“What do you want to know,” Mark says finally, eyes downcast. “Did I know she taped it? Did my “fellow band members” watch it?” He looks up at her then, pure fury in his voice. “What? Am I into other kinky shit? Am I really that hung or was it the camera angle? What - what do you want from me.”

“This interview’s done,” Bob says, putting a hand on Mark’s shoulder, to silence or comfort him - Jack doesn’t know, maybe both. “You’re not using any of that.”

The lady laughs - laughs . “You don’t get--”

“You’re not using any of it,” Bob says again firmly, towering over her, and the lady shuts up and nods tightly.

“Well that was…” Jack finds himself saying, but Mark is already standing and walking away.

 *

“Get out,” Jack says, trying to pull Mark out of his bunk. “You aren’t sulking here the whole goddamn tour, Mark.”

“Fuck you, yes I am.” Mark resists, rolling away from Jack and - with his extra muscle - manages to pull him halfway into the bunk with him.

“Ow , you fuckin’ ass,” Jack swears. “Tear my arm out its fucking socket, why dont’cha.”

“Hello, Tyler,” Ethan says into his phone, sitting at the table on the bus. “Hi, mommy and daddy are fighting again, I’m scared.”

“Fuckin’ - that’s it.” Jack climbs the rest of the way into the bunk, squeezing himself into the tight space between the ceiling and Mark’s body.

“What’re you - get the fuck out, Jack!” Mark squirms, but only manages to fit them closer together. There’s a lot of kicking and elbowing but Jack manages to hold Mark down. Even if it’s in a precarious, and somewhat suggestive way.

“Dude, I am in prime position to knee you in the balls, do not test me.”

“Nevermind,” Ethan says loudly. “I actually think they’re having sex. Yeah I know right? Finally.”

“Shut up!” They both say at once, and Jack manages to pull back a couple inches to stare Mark down.

“The tape isn’t your fault,” he states simply and firmly as he can.

Mark’s face reddens, and he starts pushing at Jack in earnest. “You don’t know what you’re talking about, Sean --”

“The questions aren’t your fault either. Fuck’s sake, Mark, we’re a team. When shit happens to you - it happens to all of us.”

Mark sinks back down and avoids Jack’s eyes. “Exactly,” he says, “and now you guys are catching all the shit meant for me. All our work - our music is ruined because of me .”

“No. That’s not what I mean.” Jack shakes his head, keeps his hand pressed to Mark’s chest to keep him still. “The music is the music, it doesn’t matter how people find it, or what they associate it with. It doesn’t even matter whether they like it or not.” Jack swallows when Mark finally looks up at him. “It is what it is, and one stupid sex tape isn’t going to change that.”

Mark is silent for a moment, then quietly asks, “And us?”

“The band is us, stupid,” Jack says, huffing. “It’s our friendship, it’s you and me. Would the band be ruined because I fucked like, I’unno, a german horse?”

“Ew, maybe,” Mark says cringing slightly, but his tone is light.

“Nah, you’d forgive me, wouldn’t ya?” Jack shuffles his body down a bit, but stops when his thigh slides against Mark’s. “We’d even write a song about it.”

“We probably would,” Mark says faintly. “Do you? Forgive me, I mean.”

Jack frowns at this. How can Mark possibly believe that any of this is his fault? “Dude, there’s nothing that I need to forgive. Mel’s a fuckin’ bitch and she screwed you over. And even if you yourself released a bajillion freaky sex tapes, I still wouldn’t be mad. Horrifyingly impressed maybe, but never mad.”

“Yeah?” Mark asks, half-smiling at Jack now in a way that makes his heart get caught in his throat.

“Yeah,” Jack says, biting hack the urge to lean down close and brush his lips against Mark's. “Now, me and the german horse on the other hand…”

Mark doesn’t say anything to that, but he does pull Jack down into a heartfelt hug. And if Jack maybe savours it for longer than he should, well, that’s no one’s business but his own.

 *

 After the tour ends, they hang out at Mark and Tyler’s place in LA, laughing and drinking every night. It’s just Ethan and Jack since Bob and Wade flew back to Ohio, so Tyler insists that they crash with him and Mark before their international tour starts.

It feels so normal, like how it was before all the crazy fame and attention.

“You’re gonna tell him, right?” Ethan asks when Jack lies down next to him on the pull-out in the living room.

Jack doesn’t answer, hopes that Ethan will just think he’s drunk and already dead asleep.

“You’ve gotta, dude,” Ethan says anyway, and Jack feels him tug at the sheets when he turns on his side. “You’ll be happy.”

Jack thinks about it the rest of the night, thinks maybe it’s time to get this weight off his chest. But he doesn’t think he can. When Jack really thinks about it he loved Mark the minute they met. When he was fifteen. And Jack’s man enough now that he can accept that he loves him, probably always will. But he couldn't bare actually saying it and having Mark not feel the same way.

It’s better this way, he thinks as he drifts into sleep. Less heartache.

Not an hour later, Tyler is shaking him awake and saying, “Something’s wrong with Mark, get up!”

 *

“You moron,” Jack says, and wipes his nose on his sleeve. Mark continues to sleep, it’s so quiet except for the rhythmic beeps of the machines he’s hooked up to. A really cool nurse let him in when she saw he was practically lying on the floor in the waiting room.

Jack sent the others home after everything was sorted, but couldn’t bring himself to leave.

“Do you even know how bad I would’ve killed you if you died,” he says to Mark’s sleeping face. His chest hurts at just the sight of the tubes in his nose and dark bags under his eyes. “Like, super dead.”

Mark collapsed, turns out his usual minor reaction to alcohol wasn’t so minor at all. It did something to his heart. Jack only got the gist of it - that Mark plus alcohol from now on is a no-go.

“This is the part where I tell you I… I’m in love with you, or whatever.” Jack sniffles and takes his hand in his, careful of the needle stuck in the back of it. “Well nope, in fact, fuck you. You scared the shit outta me. Us. Half your family’s flying down tomorrow, by the way.”

Mark continues to sleep, his hand is heavy and warm in Jack’s as he gently holds it.

“What would I do without you?” Jack says quietly, then, even quieter, “I do love you, ya fuckin’ bastard.”

“Are you always this articulate?” Mark’s voice is gravelly and weak, and his eyes are closed when Jack nearly snaps his neck to look at him.

“Mark?” Jack holds his breath, and then the corners of Mark’s mouth lift up to a smile. “Oh you fuckin’ asshole!” It takes a lot of willpower to not smack him on the chest.

“Be gentle with me,” Mark says meekly, opening his eyes, “my heart stopped or something. I’m delicate.” He squeezes Jack’s fingers which cause him to blush.

“My ass you’re delicate,” is all Jack can say. His face feels hot and he’d really like to pull his hand away, but Mark is holding on like a vice.

“Did you mean it?” Mark asks, and for a second it feels like Jack’s heart stops.

He can’t bring himself to speak, or even look at Mark, as he nods minutely.

“Will you look at me,” Mark croaks, and his fingers are on Jack’s chin, gently turning his face. Their eyes meet, and just fuck Jack’s life, it’s a goddamn hallmark movie.

“Well,” Jack says, though he doesn’t know why, and swallows at the lump in his throat.

Mark smiles at him. “That was really cliche,” he says, and Jack tugs his hand free, hurt. “And I’m really fucking in love with you.”

Jack doesn’t say anything, can’t . But then Mark makes a soft noise and pulls weakly at his hand and Jack goes easily, hugging Mark as carefully as he can. It barely registers that Mark was quoting Hercules when he spoke up, what a nerd.

“I really would have killed you, y’know,” Jack says, muffled against Mark’s collarbone, he brushes his fingers through Mark’s dark hair. “Still might.”

“I know, you’re totally vicious and scary,” Mark says, and his mouth is right against Jack’s ear, making it tingle oddly whenever he speaks. “You’ll kiss me first though, right?”

Jack lifts his head a bit, and Mark looks so fragile, so tired and hurt. And he loves him, so, so much.

“Right,” Jack says softly, leaning down. “I’ll kiss you first.”

Only he doesn’t, as Mark surges up and closes the space between them. His lips are dry and his mouth tastes like chemicals, and like everything that Jack’s ever wanted.