#I wanna help but I am Dumb and don't wanna be taken advantage of

[lostlegendaerie]

aight friends I need a bit of help

someone I only tangentially know keeps asking me for help (as in, personally FB messaging me) in the form of money and letting them stay at my place. They state there is four of them living in a car with two cats and a husky puppy, last I checked. They've been unhoused for a couple months now I think, unable to get on food stamps bc they don't have an address, and they're all struggling to get employment. The local shelter is full and the food bank keeps giving them moldy/expired food.

I don't know enough about being This Broke to know what else they could do, but I'm overall really uneasy about helping them (especially with housing anyone myself) bc I don't know them very well at all and that is SO MANY PEOPLE. I did link them to the 211.org website and stated I'd look at my finances this weekend to see what I could donate, since they messaged me when I was out of town.

Does anyone else have advice on how to help/does this story seem legit to you guys or am I right to be a little Red Flag about things? It's not something I'm comfortable directly interrogating asking them ("how are there so many of you and no one else has family/friends to take you in? how did you lose your living situation in the first place? what action have to taken to get housing assistance/food stamps/etc.") because it's rude, so I wanna know if I have any followers who have been This Bad Off in the US and what is needed to get someone out of this hole.

[minniepetals]

Hello I hope this does not come off as rude or overly harsh which unsolicited criticism often tends to be but there are just a few pet peeves I have with cmar.

Y/N has literally been hurt by so many people which is kind of odd considering she is "pretty" and the daughter of a mafia leader tho one who doesn't care about her. Still there is no way it wouldn't have given her privilege even if it was hidden that she was her daughter ppl definitely will be hesitant to hurt to hurt her.

Also the reasons why she hates these people are all the same that they hurt her and/or harrassed her which is fine but it gets so repetitive.

Also earlier in the story its very unbelievable how a sweet girl like yn so insecure of her emotions would end up as this weird emo like no emotions gal. Like ik the whole point is that she has been hurt so much that she became this way but even when oneself is trying to survive by blocking out emotions they preserve a bit of their past selves not intentionally but just naturally. I just feel that yn is so bland now, the "oh i don't show emotions unless I am having a mental breakdown" just seems overplayed because if she is having so many panic attacks on the regular she is DEFINITELY an emotional person and one who shows it too since she's kinda bad at hiding them from anyone who looks at all more than 2 sec at her.

The healing arc should definitely be here yet cuz yn is not dumb and since pointless revenge is not giving her peace she should try something else? Like it honestly feels like Tumblr teens who post edgy things about mental illness but don't wanna heal from it cuz that's their only personality trait.

Again, I did thoroughly enjoy the first half of cmar and I send this with no ill intent. I just wonder if you can elaborate a bit of your thought process for the above so that I can read the rest of the chapters without being annoyed by these things.

first of all, thanks for your input because obviously i'm not the greatest writer out there and getting to know this part of my writing helps me out a lot! and of course, i can definitely walk you through my thought process without spoiling too much. it's gonna be long so i'll leave it under the cut

the thing with being pretty in this context, and it's kinda a theme with the mafia world in cmar, is that the pretty ones (i say pretty ones because seokjin and jimin are also considered pretty and went through some similar harassment) are taken advantage of by their beauty. like attracting creepy old men for example and sure there's that privilege of turning people over to your side but that comes with the issue of trusting whether their intentions are good or not -- and y/n is always on the edge. she also hates the spotlight and attention and only uses her pretty privilege to an advantage if she needs to for a mission. not to mention the men in the mafia world are pretty much psychopaths who gets upset easily. you can only do so much with a pretty face. a pretty face may attract easily but being pretty isn't the reason people stay with you or will always take your side. and at the end of the day, these men live off power and control.

y/n hates a lot of people but the whole thing with her revenge arc isn't her going after people that have only harassed her. her first man was her father and you know the story with that. the second was daejung, who had kidnapped her when she was only fourteen and that traumatized her. jummy, though was abusive, wasn't her target, it was his brother ying, who trafficked children and the reason why she went after him was to save those children. leehyun was a predator who got her to fear the touch of men. nari wasn't even a part of the list because yeah she harassed y/n but that was all. y/n doesn't only care entirely about the people that only harassed her, it goes a little deeper than that. and now our next target is karl who (spoiler alert) is behind the reason to y/n's first and only reaper who died (aka nakyum), and the other ones i can't explain cuz they're not revealed yet lmao. but all in all, her hit list are individual people that have done her wrong through different reasons.

i guess it's fair for you to say that our y/n has gotten bland. that is of course your view and i can't change your perspective on her personality. it's a bit harder to explain since not a lot has been revealed about what went on during that mysterious ten year gap (with her shift of personality), but i guess a good reason i can give is the fact that most of the storytelling is in y/n's perspective, which means whatever she says or think may or may not actually be accurate information. aka her outtake on not wanting to be an emotional person but her actions contradicts her thoughts. like if you were to read things through mingyu's perspective, he'd definitely agree with you saying she's an emotional person because he's there to witness her breakdowns, etc. y/n on the other hand likes to pretend she doesn't care about anything and tries to shut her emotions off but, again, her actions contradicts her wants and beliefs. and the same goes with her emotional thoughts, her panicked thoughts, etc. for example on the inside, we can read through her thoughts and the things she's saying like when nari's guys went to touch her and she's internally panicking, along with when karl touched her. we can read her thoughts because, again, the story's mostly in her pov, but from an outsider's perspective, she looks calm and cool and aloof but you may or may not see or understand that because you, as readers, are deep into her thoughts so it's easy to understand her from within because we've gotten to know her a lot, but again, a lot of her panicked state (when in front of people she doesn't trust) occurs internally. jungkook and the boys have come to know and understand her a bit more so they can identify it better now but previously they only thought of her as an emotionless dickhead.

the healing arc is dragged on but i would say for good reason because, well, i guess there's some important points that i haven't touched on yet that i feel should be addressed before we head for her healing. there's this quote that two anons sent me that could sum up a good explanation to your criticism here and that's: "Sometimes we don't want to heal because the pain is the last link to what we've lost." as well as: "I am destroying myself so other people can't , and it's the worst kind of control, but it's the only form I know" and maybe this might not be a good enough explanation but i feel like when it comes to people who's dealt with lots of things, it's not easy to just "give up" on what they're doing and head to healing. it's easier said than done. i wouldn't say she's similar to an angsty teen but she's definitely immature in her own ways and that's partly because, in a way, she's still grappling with her lost childhood. her revenge is pointless, yes, and she knows it's not giving her the peace she wants but maybe she's hurting herself on purpose, maybe she can't just "heal" because hurt is all she's known her entire life, because it's the only thing she's used to.

idk if i've elaborated enough but that's a bit of my thought process. if i went on any longer, i'd probably accidentally spoil major stuff lmao and i think this is long enough oop- but i hope that even if none of this changes your mind, you can understand a bit of my perspective (as best as i tried to explain it haha) 💗

[rwuffles]

before i say anything else: please know that i'm not trying to start an argument or anything :] i'm bad with conveying tone but i also asked luka in advance if it was fine with me rbing this post with a response + i don't like people misinterpreting or ignoring parts of my argument when forming their opinions regarding it. this response is more to anon than luka — sorry silly

i'm not going to condemn you for being public with a label you wanna use. my post was more to explain & remind people that it's dangerous to do so. "so obviously people don't have to share it if they don't want to — i'm trying to get people to understand the risks of doing so," were my literal words to luka. my concerns are rooted in behaviors and things i've seen *in* the radqueer community as a result of having transharmed labels listed publicly and for everyone to see; i was extremely involved in the anti-rq community when burningrqs became a rq.

it's great that desirdae helps you cope! it's great that desirdae helps you in any way! that's the point of the label — i'm glad it can do that for you! but as you said yourself, "that's just us." my post was directed towards people who might not be able to defend themselves or get themself out of a situation like that; dumbing it down to "i know how to use the block button" is super weird in my opinion? the fact that desirharmed terms help people doesn't change the fact it puts people at risk of being victims again. i understand where you're coming from; it doesn't change anything in regards to what i said.

we had an anon come in & (very briefly) talk about how they were groomed as a result of being public with those types of labels. it is dangerous. that is why we want to bring attention to a community that's full of minors and people who are at risk of being hurt and / or taken advantage of. ultimately, at the end of the day: i am not going to stop you from displaying your desirdae terms wherever you want. i am not going to come in like "GRRRRRGRGRRR STOP!!! DELETE!!! DANGEROUS!!!" i have to assume that you, as a person, are actively acknowledging the risks of doing so and are capable of defending / separating yourself from the situation if need be.

we aren't comfy putting this on the post without an anon, but while we completely understand where rwuffles was coming from, and desirharmful terms can definitely be a case-by-case basis and should definitely be used responsibly. another firm reminder (not directed at to you guys, but to anyone in general) that there are people who 100% know how to be safe on the internet, there are people who know how to use these terms publicly to express their experiences and still be safe about it. and immediately assuming people dont is harmful in itself.

I don't doubt that some people might be a bit gullible about the concerns, and we should definitely help them understand the issues with using them publicly (especially if their a minor). But that's all we should and can do as people will still use them as they see fit regardless. The whole point of desirdae is a coping mechanism, it's a label.

and homestly it really makes me angry when they said it can put people at risk of being a victim again. because the reason we use desirdae is so we *don't* become a victim again. it helps us accept and manage and track our experiences. And even on the off chance that someone tried something, we know how to use the block button. But, that's just us. Others experiences can definitely be different. But, I really hope this doesnt end up becoming a label policing situation. Because desirdae is legitimately helping us heal, and we have every right to put it wherever we want, even if it's public.

sorry if this is overwhelming, feel.free to ignore it, we just really had to put our two cents in.

ah thank you anon!

and yes we do agree with you fully!

we also agree with rwuffles

it’s not always safe to be open about things on the internet and it can put you at risk BUT to assume EVERYONE needs to not be open can be harmful.

some people have safety nets put in place or are at a point where they understand the risk fully!

sorry we didn’t mean for this to turn into drama(if it has)

we ourselves are open about our desirdae terms on our prns.cc and such cuz we know we can stay safe! But we also know that some people aren’t able to be safe and open about it!

things like this are very much a case-by-case situation! Our only advice as of rn is:

Do what YOU think is best for YOUR safety.

-Link and 02

[godwithwethands]

lmao i don't know all your shipping preferences but can i say, i much prefer sam with ba'al than with jack (this might be because i'm a high jack/daniel shipper but also, i just prefer the sam/ba'al vibe over the sam/jack vibe)

I'm a multishipper so I ship pretty much everything simultaneously: I love JackDaniel too 🥰🥰🥰 They are so cute and so good for eachother 🥺

Honestly yeah I prefer the vibe of BaalSam to JackSam as well 👁️👅👁️ But that's personal taste and interpretation of course 🥴

Oh no now I feel like explaining in depth why I love Baalsam and why I ship it... oh no... someone stop me 😩... LET'S FREAKING GO I'M GONNA EXPLAIN WHY!!!!

Mino’s ���Here’s why I love BaalSam so much” aka just me gathering up the few baalsam crumbs the show writers, Amanda Tapping and Cliff Simon left in their wake....and baking a cake with those crumbs.

Before I start, PSA: English is not my first language, so please bear with me if there are any mistakes 😭

Okay so I feel like at first I can't explain it without mentioning the differences with jacksam, and to all jacksam shippers: I love jacksam to bits too and they're so good, as the show has showed us multiple times, but I miss a little spice here 😩🌶️

I will also briefly talk about things I have found in Baalsam fics that I adore in (Fic points)!! And link back to fics I love with (x)!!!!

(Mid-writing note: I realize I say a lot about Baal and less about Sam, and that is because I just think about Baal way much than I think about Sam, mainly because we have so little Baal screentime compared to Sam’s screentime. I often wonder how/what he feels and try to analyze his behavior closely. 🥺 I don’t do it as much with Sam, sadly 😭

1. The ship dynamic scale (totally made up by yours truly, me 😎)

I often describe the ships I prefer as "A is obnoxious and B is struggling to stay sane" (maybe because it is a description of my own relationship??? 🤔) (this is exagerrated for fun and giggles don't worry i am fine and happy). They are all a variation of this, in different levels. I'd say jacksam fits level 1, Jack being obnoxious sometimes but in an endearing, jokingly, "aww you're such a goof 😍😂" way, and Sam's not really struggling, she just laughs and shakes her head, her heart full of love for her man.

Baalsam on the other hand. Oh boy. They are on level 5 out of 5. What the hell. Baal is obnoxious, in the villain way. And that means, a VERY extra way. He's mean obnoxious. Putting salt in the wound obnoxious. "if you don't shut up I will punch your teeth in/shoot you" obnoxious. Sam is struggling every minute to stay sane with this crazy motherfucker. He's SO MUCH. ALL THE TIME. But joke's on her, she also thinks it's funny. 🤡 That's her sanity flying out the window.

Seriously, Sam has to put her foot down. She has to play Baal’s game and sometimes be mean too. I feel like Baalsam allows Sam to unveil her true potential. A strong woman who takes no shit from men and 2000 years old overlords. She can be 200% true, smug, mean. Maybe JackSam respect each other too much they wouldn’t dare saying/doing some things like Baalsam would  🤔 Maybe Sam is restrained by everything she lived with Jack, the respect she has for him, the 10 or so years spent having him as her superior officer.

A lot think that Sam got her smug from Jack, but I don’t agree: she was smug from the get-go in COFG. She just can’t be too smug with him around or it’d sound like insubordination. Aint she tired of being nice? Doesn’t she wanna go apeshit? That’s what baalsam is. Sam going apeshit and quitting being the perfect nice girl.

Baalsam is an explosive volcano and it ravaged me 😩💖💖💖

2. Baal is a Villain

Send him to horny villain jail!!! BONK!!! 💥🔨

Baal being a villain is VERY important. Villains are so extreme. Everything he does, he does way too hard and too much. His evil plans? As layered as an ogre. Onion. I meant onion. His wardrobe? Nothing but the finest. His love? He'd give his Queen the Universe.

I love that. Everything he does, it's too much. But it's so amazing. Urghhj I love it SO MUCH. Sam is overwhelmed 😩💖 All of that for HER?? Damn, boi either really wants to get laid with her especially or.. 🙊‼️ I love the concept of a Villain’s Love because it knows no boundaries. A villain won’t be held back by things like morals, the love they feel is disproportionate......AND I DONT KNOW Sam being able to provoke this kind of feeling in Baal’s little snake heart makes me lose my absolute fucking mind!!!!! 

Very important too: even if he becomes a SGC ally in one way or another in whatever AU, Baal will still keep his good ol' villain habits. Sam would try to tone them down, but they will always be there. You don't erase 2000 years of bad habits 😭. His first solution will be murder, and she will go "we talked about this." Classical Enemies to Lovers shit  🥴💖 (x)

(Fic point: When Baal does something so extreme yet so so soooo damn sweet for her and Sam can’t believe it??? 10/10 Or when he acts on his villain plans for distasteful jokes and that puts Sam on a tight spot and he immediately feels bad at the unfair treatment she gets because of him (x))

3. The endless verbal jousting

I love watching them being mean to each other. If Baal goes too far, she /would/ hit him, and he would turn his other cheek saying "Do it again, loved it". What a freak 🥴🌶️ (x)

Honestly I just love their little sparring matches, even more so when they do it in front of an audience. Like lmao guys..... y'all flirting in front of everyone what the hell!!! BONK !! 💥🔨 horny jail for both of you. At least Teal’c seems to enjoy their jousting  😂 He even teases them holy shit, Teal’c is the true multishipper in that show!!!!

(Fic point: When they argue and come to a fistfight (mostly Sam hitting and Baal taking or blocking the hits)? HELL YEAH!!!!)

4. Admitting the other’s qualities

I’ll start with Baal:

Baal seems to appreciate the courage Sam shows in front of him. You could explain her confidence in The Quest by saying that at this very moment Baal doesn’t have an advantage on Sam since she’s the one holding the gun. There is something else, and I will bring it up later.

Let’s talk about Reckoning!!!! The situation is different, Baal actually called for help whereas he was supposed to kill everyone on Dakara. And here goes the little sparring match in front of Jacob  🤡 Sam ordering Baal around??? Being smug as hell??? 10/10 love it

It’s the first time he sees her and he’s taken aback. He should look mad, having a woman addressing him like that. But he looks rather surprised and curious of what’s going to happen next. I can literally hear the little “Hm. Interesting.” in his head. Baal enjoys that smug look on her face. Tau’ri female who??? Who IS she!!! Quick gotta be a jerk so she won’t suspect I’m crushing super hard right now!!!! Cliff Simon decided Baal will be the horny one among the System Lords and holy shit he did just that 😂😂😂 i’m sorry i’m just incohenrently babbling at this point I CANT BELIEVE THIS, I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!!!!!!!! you thought that huge ass post was going to be me thoughtfully bringing points and evidence? nope it’s just me losing my shit.

I believe that, despite what Baal says, he recognizes Sam’s intelligence to some extent. He’s just too proud to say it clearly and is too busy testing Sam’s limits. The more I think about it, the more I feel like he really looked for that punch in The Quest. Some kind of... I don’t know... “What makes you so special, as a female Tau’ri, to be on your kind’s elite scout team? How much can you take before you retaliate, if you retaliate at all? Show me what you’re made of.” kind of thing? Baal has shown some kind of interest in Earthlings in the past. He has studied them while living among them and he seems to like how different they are from other humans, Now he knows she’s as fierce as she needs to be to survive in this galaxy.

Have you sEEN his smile and his laugh after she punched him in The Quest? AFTER SHE TURNED HER BACK TO HIM TOO, OH, MY GOD. He really wanted a drastic reaction from her and he got it.

That is a “I love me a woman who can kick my ass” kinda smile if you ask me  👁️w👁️...

What makes me think that it was a test is: after the punch and Sam’s threat to kill him, he stops being so annoying and they can finally work together. But why? Why did he care about being killed? He was a clone, there’s no way he was still hoping to steal the Sangraal from SG-1, so his mission as this one Baal clone couldn’t be fulfilled anyway. That makes me think that he was just testing Sam’s limits, and maybe having a little fun with her.

(Fic point: I LOVE IT when Baal gets access to the SGC and everyone gets on his nerves because he thinks they are all dumb as shit. But when he talks with Sam, he’s not so annoyed. She can keep up with him. Well, sometimes she needs a little help but- Maybe she’s okay to be with sometimes...(x))

Sam’s turn: 

It’s no problem for Sam to admit Baal’s intelligence. However the idea of working with him just makes her go [grimacing emoji]  😭 😭 😭 She just knows he’s gonna be obnoxious pfahahaha But!! She trusts and values his knowledge nonetheless! She knows that teamed up with Baal, they can solve anything. I believe that’s why she asks him for help so easily despite...Well, Baal being Baal.

I feel like, when you put the "it’s a matter of life and death” thing aside, Sam’s desire to learn could push her towards Baal. She knows there is a lot she could learn from him, and they can work together once he stops insulting her every 5 seconds. She can learn from him in those moments.

(Fic point: I love fics where Sam learns things from Baal... It’s usually very sweet, because Sam is absolutely adorable when she’s excited about science and Baal can’t help but melt a little bit when she smiles so bright at him. Thankful.) 

5. Sam’s kindness 

I said earlier that, as we all know, Baal is a villain. But what’s important here is that he is a Goa’uld System Lord. 

No trust, no kindness and love allowed between those guys. Those would leave the door open for treason and low blows. (See Qetesh in Continuum)

(I believe the only Goa’ulds truly in love we saw were Apophis and Amaun’et)

Now what I tell myself is: that must be pretty freaking lonely. In any shape or form. You can’t have friends, because you can only befriend your fellow godlings who will try to kill you at any given opportunity. Same for mates. 🤔 Baal is just alone at the top of his army and that’s all. What if this isn’t enough? He is different from other Goa’ulds.

What if Sam’s genuine worry and thankfulness towards him in Reckoning were the first time he had someone feel those towards him for like, hundreds, or even thousands of years? Not something distorted and stained by any slave-to-god adoration?

He is soooo surprised. He even stutters a little? At a loss for words when faced with kindness, you, galactic overlord? And she looks actually worried about him and his ship about to go down, when before saying thank you, she asks him what’s going on. I like to think that this first interaction shaped what Baal will think and feel for Sam forever....And that it made him a bit soft for her  🥺 Maybe he sees in Sam (and in the rest of SG-1, see: how much fun he’s having with them during The Quest) a possibility for friendship and maybe more, something he hasn’t considered for A WHILE. He seems to be thinking “did she really say that...wait what do I answer to this...uh....Good luck.......ok i said it. damn that was weird.” 

Also can I briefly talk about this??

Why does Sam look so embarrassed in a “Oh god right Dad is right there and saw all of that hUM.” way 😂 I don’t think she felt like it was creepy, since Baal was just responding to her kindness, and she definetely doesn’t want to talk about her being nice to a System Lord with Jacob bjfdjgbfdg

(Fic point: All I can think of is this fic where Sam gets thrown in a prison cell with a badly beaten up Baal (his symbiote is not able to heal his wounds because of a collar he wears), and she refuses to leave him there to die. They escape together 😭💖💖💖 (x))

6. Sam knows Baal will never hurt her

Maybe this is a result of Sam’s kindness in Reckoning, but Baal made it clear to Sam that he would never hurt her directly. And this is what I was referring to when I said “there’s something else” in Sam’s confidence in confronting Baal. This line below activates all of my monkey braincells because what the hell!!!!

That’s “I kinda like you” in Villain language is it not????? Out of all the things Baal could have answered to “You can kill me if you want”, he decides to say “I would never dream of killing you.” with a voice so soft... oh my god. Talking about soft....

Is it me or Baal’s touch on Sam is kind of gentle....like he doesn’t hold her wrist too tight or anything,,,,  🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭💖💖💖 Because honestly, another Goa’uld would have yanked on her arm so hard to put their hands on that hard drive but no no no he just closes his hand on her wrist and lets her go gently when she pulls out of his grip and AM I OVERANALYZING THIS?????? IM SORRY I GOT THAT TRAIT FROM MY DAD!!!!!!! we just have that tendency to watch things over and over again to notice all the small detailsssss

I like to think that afterwards, once the heat of the moment gone, she noticed that, hey. He /could/ have hurt her very badly, she was at his mercy after all. But he decided against it. Maybe because she’s the only one who’s been nice to him for literal cenTURIES????? HHHNHNHNHNHN I CANT!!!!!!!!!!! I HOPE SHE NOTICED IT!!!! And that it’s why she’s so confident addressing him like she does in The Quest.

I think I’ve addressed pretty much everything here and I’m going to talk about more things I like about BaalSam but more on the headcanon side  🤔

Miscellaneous: 

About Baal’s host:

I have said multiple times that Baal is different from other Goa’ulds, and I really don’t think it is just an act. 

He is willing to break the god act, change strategies when he realizes there are better ways to proceed, searching for new allies in drastic situations, etc etc... Baal is way more human than other Goa’ulds.

What if that was because Baal let his host’s thoughts influence his own?

Why wouldn’t there be asshole humans wanting to be hosts to asshole Goa’uld symbiotes? Just like the Tok’ra, but on the villain side? (even if Tok’ras are assholes lol) (except Jacob. I love Jacob) (And Martouf) (I don’t like Martouf but he’s the only one with Jacob that I consider a Real Tok’ra) (The other ones are hypocrites) (ANYWAY!)

I love to think that when Baal doesn’t have the flanged voice, it is his host who speaks, as Tok’ras do. I know symbiotes don’t have to talk with the flanged voice but. Having Baal and his host thinking so alike that it doesn’t matter if it’s the host or the symbiote talking makes so much sense to me. It really could explain his different way of thinking. Baal has shown curiosity for humans and how they think, how to better manipulate them...What if it was because of the good experience he has with his host? It could also explain why he’s the horny one amongst the System Lords 😂 He is just very human in a lot of ways.

Now you’re like “ok but what does that have to do with Baalsam” AND YEAH I HEAR YOU !!!! I just think it may be easier to imagine Baalsam for a non-shipper if you see Baal in that light?  🤔 🤔 🤔 it sure helps Sam seeing herself with him in fics 🥴 I don’t know!!! We know so little about Baal, and there are so many possibilites. I’m going way out of the Baalsam remit but at the same time, I strongly believe those who don’t understand the ship are those who stop their analysis of Baal at Abyss. He is so much more than just “that one Goa’uld who tortured and killed Jack in that one episode”. Baal has so much potential that makes this ship work!! Sam seeing that potential makes this ship work!

Sam hosting Baal (yes, the symbiote):

OKAY OKAY OKAY SO!!! This is something I LOVE to bits!!

That’s a thing that is great if as I said, Baal and his host are on the same wavelength. But it can work without it nonetheless.

Sam hosting Baal, consensual or not, is always ALWAYS such an amazing trope. (x) It’s really something that makes me hyperventilate because it makes them so close...so blended...it’s infinitely intimate... When Baal is in love with Sam, it’s even better. (x) I almost can’t describe it because it is so wonderful. Being able to feel each other’s feelings. Baal healing Sam from inside when she’s injured. Sam deciphering his emotions and most importantly the affection he has for her, especially when he still haven’t confessed it? holy shit it’s SO DAMN GOOD!!!!! The silent conversations they can have within Sam’s head, Baal pouring Goa’uld knowledge into Sam’s mind. It’s just the two of them and I can’t express how comforting that is to read.

i don’t know, random stuff I like i guess, I’m almost done: 

He just really craves her attention huh. Look at that smile, so cute...”I’m smart! Did you know I’m smart as hell? Of course you did. But I Would Like You To Acknowledge It.” He’s even bouncing on his heels, i love when he does that!!!! He is turning towards Sam especially too  😭💖 and she’s just ê____ê LMFAO

(Maybe this is just another “it is my speciality and not yours” moment but hey i like to give him the benefit of the doubt 💖)

Baal being “I’m tired of being a villain, I want to be loved now”...Aren’t you tired of going apeshit? Don’t you want to be nice? just a little bit?

Baal using so much petnames so easily... i’m usually not a fan of those but having him saying “my love, my sweet” etc etc oh fuck!!!!! i don’t know wHY it gets me!!! 

A lot of Baalsam fics are smutty, and while I enjoy that, I still think they have so much potential on the spiritual level. They’re both nerds and they both have so many things to learn from the other. (x)

Baal taking Sam on his ship to show her some neat space stuff.

Baal loving motorcycles just like Sam and modifying engines with naqadah.

Guess i’m just gonna link to fics I love now nvkjfdg and that I haven’t linked to already--

In the Lap of the Gods - Rating: M - Sam gets stuck in a sarcophagus with Baal. Really well thought fic, I love it!!!

The Mating game - Rating: M - Ten dates. Can I call this slow burn? It’s slow but not too slow. Please read this, it’s hilarious and so well written like- this fic makes me lose my absolute shit!

The Mating Game: Endgame - Rating: E - Read after The Mating Game. Honestly yEAH!!! Amazing sequel to an already amazing prequel, what else can I say 😩💖 you got some Host!Sam action in this too!!

Enemy Amongst Us - Rating: E - Hmmmm Sam falling for Baal is always yummy 🥴 It has more than that, it’s pretty wild!!!!!!

Those are not all but they are the ones i prefer 🥺💖💖💖 (along the ones I linked during the essay) 

I think I’m done? Congratulations for reading all of this lmao  😭💖 I hope you can see why I love Baalsam so much now!! They are just SO MUCH FUN!!! 

feel free to send me asks and stuff about this TvT/

[punkscowardschampions]

Joe & Ronnie

Joe: Where you been lately? Joe: I just got some good shit in Joe: Come over Ronnie: Around Ronnie: You want coordinates? Ronnie: Who from? Joe: So mysterious Joe: just a clue Joe: been bored Joe: I went down Tavy Bridge Joe: Happy? Ronnie: devil's in the details you deviant Ronnie: a who not a where like Ronnie: reserving judgement til i get my taste Ronnie: trust you as far as I cba to throw you, mckenna Joe: could say the same of what i asked you but likewise, cba Joe: can hardly afford for it to be bad down that way, can they? but its that turkish bloke, never heard him called anything but boss Ronnie: got me interested Ronnie: how much you get Joe: more than you got by the sounds of Ronnie: touchy Ronnie: missed you too cunt Joe: right Joe: believe that when i see it baby Ronnie: you want a show, yeah? Ronnie: Must be bored Ronnie: Shoulda joined us. You'd have been about it I reckon. Was good Joe: I am, got a mountain of work to do and no will to do it Joe: Distractions needed Joe: I don't need an 'us' to have a good time Joe: but glad you had fun Ronnie: You know that's what I'm good for, baby Ronnie: take your medicine Ronnie: you'd have had a good time with her Ronnie: Tick another sister off the list like Ronnie: she's a better fuck than I reckoned she'd be Joe: No arguments here Joe: bring a lighter I've exhausted all of mine Joe: What are you talking about? Ronnie: Worn 'em out on your skin again you fuck Ronnie: State Ronnie: I'm talkin bout the princess bowing down to fitzy and me Ronnie: hell of a night Joe: Yeah don't know where I'm gonna shoot up now Joe: Oh well, I'll find a way Joe: Bullshit Joe: You're as sick in the head as me Ronnie: Get creative Ronnie: Plenty of veins Ronnie: And she's the sickest of the lot Ronnie: Believe it Joe: Your genius knows no bounds Joe: I don't Joe: Why would she do that? Ronnie: Fuck off Ronnie: Why not? Ronnie: Name a better fuck than yours truly Joe: 'Cos you and Charlie bragging is not a good enough reason to fuck up your life to find out if its unfounded Joe: Nah Ronnie: you want pics pervert Ronnie: it happened and she loved it Joe: No Joe: What the fuck Joe: If it did Joe: why would YOU do that? Ronnie: Why the fuck wouldn't I? Joe: because she's off-limits Joe: for fuck's sake Joe: what's wrong with you? Ronnie: not to me Ronnie: you're such a pussy Ronnie: cry it out Ronnie: how long you got? Joe: yes to you Joe: jesus christ Joe: you're not allowed to do that Joe: and you can forget coming over to mooch off my stash Joe: fuck! Ronnie: who the fuck says? she didn't Ronnie: I can do whatever the fuck I want Ronnie: get with the fucking program, mckenna Ronnie: you dont tell me shit Joe: She's a kid Joe: a fucked up one at that Joe: you wouldn't be happy if someone took advantage of Bronson like that Ronnie: what do you know bout it you doss cunt Ronnie: she ain't been a kid since her grandaddy raped her Ronnie: I've never taken advantage of anything but her student loans Ronnie: fuck you Joe: I was there, I fucking remember, and I've known her longer than you have Joe: You shouldn't have done it and you know it Joe: Dead wrong Joe: Charlie too Ronnie: You knew her Ronnie: you don't know shit now Ronnie: she came to us Ronnie: to get what she needed Joe: And you do? Joe: Don't front like you care about what she needs really Joe: You're full of shit Ronnie: I'm not trying to know her Ronnie: Or pretend to care Ronnie: I could give a fuck Ronnie: It ain't that deep Ronnie: It was one night Joe: For you Joe: My Brother is probably gonna fucking leave her Joe: You just wanted to help her fuck up her life Joe: 'cos you hate 'em all, right? Ronnie: Can't blame her if that's what she wanted Ronnie: well rid of that cunt] Ronnie: i did her a favor, yeah? Ronnie: unexpected bonus Joe: Shut up Joe: You know even less about him Ronnie: like your the expert Ronnie: so full of shit Ronnie: when did you last talk to him Ronnie: you hate him as much as i do Joe: Doesn't matter, I have reasons Joe: you don't get to have an opinion Ronnie: I got my own Ronnie: you don't get to tell me what i can and can't have, baby Joe: Well keep 'em to yourself like I do Joe: Yeah I do Joe: your share for starters Ronnie: make me Ronnie: like to see you try Ronnie: if i want it i'll come take it, you're not gonna stop me Joe: wanna bet Ronnie: yeah Ronnie: whatever the fuck you think you're gonna do you won't Ronnie: you don't have the ball like Joe: Try me Joe: but don't, 'cos I don't wanna see you Ronnie: Gonna grow a pair before I get there Ronnie: don't think so Joe: More likely than you growing the fuck up Ronnie: sick burn Ronnie: you've done too many on yourself, nothing left to hurt me Joe: Trust me, I'm holding back all the things I could say to you right now Joe: because that's you, not me Ronnie: do your worst, baby Ronnie: I love it Ronnie: You might like it if you let yourself Ronnie: go on Joe: Exactly why I won't Joe: I want you to suffer Ronnie: Good fucking luck Ronnie: You don't have the power Joe: Just the smack withdrawals like Joe: what a charmed life Ronnie: that'll be why you were begging me to shoot you up Ronnie: forgotten that first time already, yeah? Joe: didn't say I don't suffer Joe: I'm not that much of an idiot Joe: wear it on my sleeve like Joe: you do too but you shouting otherwise now 'cos you know you're wrong Ronnie: I don't need you Ronnie: I got gear before you Ronnie: will after Joe: Yeah but no one to give a shit Joe: sad washed up junkie nobody Ronnie: 'cause you do? Shut the fuck up, mckenna Ronnie: plenty of other warm bodies, Bea for one Joe: You know I do Joe: Bullshit all you want, can't change it Ronnie: Don't be pathetic Ronnie: I can match you damage for damage Ronnie: So what? Ronnie: You're not that good of a fuck even Joe: Yeah well if I could change it as well, I would Joe: didn't say otherwise Joe: You're the last person I'd wanna give a shit about for obvious reasons Ronnie: Kill the feeling Ronnie: bored and boring Ronnie: chatting this much shit like Joe: go fuck Charlie then Ronnie: gotta let him recover Ronnie: only fair Joe: considerate Joe: least you care about someone Ronnie: don't be jealous it doesn't suit ya Joe: not jealous Joe: impressed you can be vaguely human Joe: well done you Ronnie: you're well easily impressed Ronnie: never over it Joe: luckily for you Joe: don't take it for granted Ronnie: don't flatter yourself that anything I do is for you Joe: whatever you say baby Ronnie: that it? Ronnie: anything else you wanna come crying to me about like Joe: trust, that's not the kind of sympathy anyone is coming to you for Joe: don't flatter yourself Ronnie: says you but you're still trying it Ronnie: poor baby Joe: I came here to get fucked but you know Joe: you're worn out already so it's chill Ronnie: nah you're fucked up thinking you've been fucked over when it ain't about you Ronnie: I've got energy for days Joe: everything's always about you Joe: understood Joe: i'm not going to not stick up for Bea, say what you like about it and me Ronnie: calm your tits Ronnie: I wasn't putting her down Ronnie: no need to play the hero Joe: Yeah you were Joe: dragging her down Joe: why do you even let her hang around with you in the first place Ronnie: not taken her anywhere she didn't wanna go Ronnie: why the fuck do you care? Joe: because i care about her, obviously Joe: and the rest of my family Joe: that gets fucked over if she goes off the rails Joe: you don't like her so just leave her alone Joe: its not hard Ronnie: I'm begging nobody to come around Ronnie: take it up with her Ronnie: if you care that badly Joe: well don't let her Joe: jesus would that be such a difficult thing to do Ronnie: why do I want the grieve Ronnie: for you Ronnie: fuck off Ronnie: if she's got the cash or the gear she's coming in Joe: like its any grief for you to be a bitch Joe: i have the cash you don't need to tap her up Ronnie: Maybe she's more fun than you Ronnie: wouldn't be hard Joe: i don't wanna see you Joe: just take the money Joe: what have you got to lose here Ronnie: like i said, pleasure of the princess' company Joe: fuck you Joe: i'll make sure it never happens again myself if she's still out her fucking mind Ronnie: fill your boots Ronnie: love a project, don't ya, mckenna Joe: if you think i was trying to fix you Joe: then you're flattering yourself again Joe: big time Joe: we both know what this is Ronnie: had to find me Ronnie: try and fix it for your ma Ronnie: remind yourself how that worked out before you try that shit with bea Ronnie: you're a joke Joe: Might've started that way Joe: but I'm still here for me Ronnie: more fool you Joe: No arguments Joe: Oh gotta go Joe: Don't message me tonight k Joe: Laters Ronnie: where the fuck are you going? Ronnie: don't ignore me prick Ronnie: say something or I'm coming over Joe: Becky wants me to go out with her and her friends Joe: going to an exhibition so I can't have my phone buzzing that's all Ronnie: forget that slut Ronnie: she's even more boring than you Joe: I think the latter cancels out the former there then Joe: Some of her friends are alright, dunno, might be fun Ronnie: Shut the fuck up, mckenna Ronnie: we've got plans Joe: Who have I been having this conversation with since then? Joe: I told you no Ronnie: And I told you ya can't stop me Ronnie: stop whining fucking hell Ronnie: I'm on my way Joe: Neither me or the drugs will be here so don't bother Joe: you think I'm that dumb Ronnie: you think I won't kick your door in again Ronnie: try me Joe: Why bother? I'm telling you, nothing to find alright Joe: I'll slip you a key, save the door like Ronnie: you and some skank Joe: What, you get to be jealous now? Ronnie: I can be whatever the fuck I want Joe: You've been telling me all about your threesome Joe: all night Joe: you're crazy Ronnie: and you've been telling me you love me Ronnie: a soft lad like you fall for whoever you put your dick in Joe: You've got me wrong there Joe: I do love you but not them Joe: I have needs too though Ronnie: I told you I was on my way Ronnie: Wait for me and stop being a pussy Joe: its not just tonight though Joe: never know where we are Joe: you got other people, i can too Ronnie: Fuck off Ronnie: I'm about. You know where I am Ronnie: I can't be waiting around at yours with my legs open Joe: Yeah now you are Joe: but tomorrow you'll be telling me to fuck off Joe: Not asking you to but that's what it is Ronnie: So what you want me to wake you with a fucking kiss now like? Ronnie: I can't be running around holding you hand, you get that Joe: Obviously not Joe: So why are you mad? That's what I don't get Ronnie: 'Cause you're full of shit Ronnie: That is what you want Ronnie: And some other bitch is gonna give it to you Joe: So what if it was? You don't wanna do it so its none of your business is it Joe: but it isn't, a little normality every once and a while is nice but I'd never be able to keep it up so I'm not trying to Ronnie: You brought me here, you don't get to throw me away Joe: I'm not Joe: That's not what I'm doing Ronnie: You're leaving me out in the cold to go to some art gallery or whatever the fuck Ronnie: Lying prick Joe: Because you've fucked me off today Joe: that's all Joe: I piss you off all the time Ronnie: I hate you Joe: No you don't Ronnie: Fuck you Joe: See you later, yeah? Ronnie: Will you fuck Ronnie: I'd rather suck your brother's dick than be anywhere near you Joe: Why not get the full set Joe: Good luck with that one Ronnie: Why the fuck not Ronnie: Not getting what I need from you Joe: not tonight you're not Joe: you'll survive Ronnie: Like you give a shit either way Ronnie: Get the fuck out and take your limp dick to the gallery Joe: Don't put that on me Joe: I do care and I know you're fine Joe: You only have to ask and I give you what you need Ronnie: You're full of shit Ronnie: You know I'm not fine Ronnie: you're still going Joe: You aren't rattling is what I mean Joe: if you're serious I'll drop yours off on the way Joe: Will that make you happy? Ronnie: piss off, joe Joe: is that a yes or a no Joe: what do you want Ronnie: Go away Ronnie: if i see you i'll kick the shit out of you Joe: Okay if that's what you want Ronnie: I want you to stop micro managing me you fucking cunt Ronnie: like Ronnie's had her fix job done Joe: I don't mean it to sound like that Joe: I'm just trying to help Joe: to give you what you need Joe: I'm sorry, yeah? Ronnie: Your help is a kick in the teeth, mckenna Ronnie: If I'm not rattling you couldn't give a shit Ronnie: Fuck your pity parties Joe: That's bullshit Joe: I've got as much of a saviour's complex as I do a hero's alright Joe: You know why I'm still here, I've told you enough times Ronnie: But you aren't fucking here Ronnie: I haven't seen you for ages and you don't wanna see me Joe: I do but Joe: you fucked Bea, Ronnie Joe: then was a total bitch about it, call me what you wanna but yeah, it doesn't make me wanna rush over straight away to hear more Joe: still want you though so yeah, you got me, I'm beyond reproach fucked up Ronnie: What the fuck does that matter, it was fun, that's it Ronnie: I was off my head the 3 of us were Ronnie: I'm not gonna feel bad bout it but you're making it something it ain't Ronnie: It's only sex Joe: It matters because Joe: Never mind Joe: It doesn't matter to you let's leave it there Ronnie: Don't be a pussy Ronnie: Say what you wanna say Joe: Why? For you to take the piss? You're alright Ronnie: 'Cause I wanna know Ronnie: and you wanna tell me Joe: Alright, 'cos if her then why not Fraze or any of the others? Joe: I get that you don't like them and you wanna hurt them but I dunno Joe: Its my fault for thinking you wouldn't go there, 'cos maybe you gave just an inkling of a shit about me Joe: I don't want them involved in us, its meant to be just you and me, not them tainting it or us tainting them, yeah? Ronnie: Fuck's sake Ronnie: not everything I do is about them or you Ronnie: we were fucked up and we did what we did Ronnie: call me full of shit if you wanna believe I masterminded some kind of black sheep vengeance bullshit but it ain't Ronnie: if I was looking to fuck up your precious family I'd just tell them about us Ronnie: Bea used Charlie and me to get him to leave her 'cause she can't hack it anymore Ronnie: she's fucked up. You don't wanna hear it but she is Joe: Being fucked up still isn't an excuse though Ronnie: I'm not making one. I don't need to, I didn't do anything wrong Joe: Alright Joe: it still hurt regardless so Joe: I'll catch you later Ronnie: Don't go Joe: Ronnie don't Ronnie: don't fucking go Ronnie: I can take the pain away, yeah? Joe: I wish you could Joe: the smack barely touches it some days Ronnie: I'll get more Ronnie: the good shit Ronnie: Be there til it works Joe: I've got to try and get them to leave without me then Joe: got any good excuses? Ronnie: I'm dead Ronnie: You've gotta mourn for the next 40 years Joe: Not funny Joe: but might work Ronnie: Believable that you'd find me rotting in the gutter Ronnie: go with it Joe: Shut up Joe: not happening Joe: I'll go with the shits like a normal human Joe: off-putting enough Ronnie: has she seen trainspotting? Ronnie: arrange a viewing Joe: Surely she has Joe: Probably read it too, pretentious students after-all Ronnie: and you were gonna spend your tonight with these cunts over me Ronnie: priorities, mckenna Joe: you drove me to it woman Joe: i wasn't pretending it wasn't gonna be painful Ronnie: you love the pain, you twat Joe: Looks like it Ronnie: let me know when the coast's clear Ronnie: I'm only a couple of streets away like but in no mood to chat with your normie mates Joe: aww whaddya mean you don't wanna come and claim me and scare them off? Joe: rude but there ya have it Joe: i'm not the only one 'breaking hearts' tonight, Becky is devastated, like Ronnie: I'd love it Ronnie: But you've gotten pissy enough already Ronnie: Not worth you being a cry baby all night Ronnie: You've never broken a heart in your life, mckenna Ronnie: other than her own the fuck has she either Joe: I dunno, reckon it was true love with my high school gf, and where is she now Joe: also, i was a pretty cute kid, i'll have you know Ronnie: Shut the fuck up Ronnie: I'll find her and kick her teeth in too like Joe: Poor girl, she's definitely not invested enough to deserve that beatdown Joe: Its been 2 years, little late to the punch baby Ronnie: True love or uninvested, which is it you lying bastard Joe: I was joking, there's no way she's not over it by now like Joe: even if she was a little highkey Ronnie: Cover your arse now I'm about to deck ya Ronnie: yeah yeah Ronnie: They fucked off now? Joe: you can stalk her socials if it'll make you feel better Joe: probably engaged or got kids idk Joe: yeah, now putting their coats on Ronnie: I'm outside testing the lighter you wanted Ronnie: Be in when they ain't Joe: want me to come out and join you or we skipping right to main course Ronnie: go for it Ronnie: freezing like but not gonna care for long Joe: i'll bring my coat Ronnie: Pussy Joe: for you moron Joe: gentleman Ronnie: clearly a save Ronnie: I see ya Joe: i see you shivering like Joe: no need to thank me Ronnie: Unlucky, I had some ace ideas for how I was gonna Joe: Damn Joe: Can't catch a break Joe: You defs owe me for the gear still, yeah? Ronnie: Gentleman my arse Joe: You caught me Joe: but you gave me a lot in this conversation I've gotta prove wrong Joe: so its really your fault Ronnie: whatever you say, baby Joe: S'whatever shit YOU been saying Joe: but I'm ready Ronnie: I'll keep my mouth shut til you want it open like Joe: Yeah, you're no lady either Ronnie: thank christ Joe: Join you on that one Joe: Amen Ronnie: Join me out here Ronnie: Any slower you could say you're dead Joe: Feeding the cat Joe: not the only girl in my life Ronnie: Don't tell Charlie bout all the pussy jokes I coulda made and didn't Ronnie: not trying to piss anyone else off Joe: Secret's safe with me Joe: I'm sure he'll find another way to be dramatic Ronnie: you and him both Joe: Oi Joe: I'm not as bad as Charlie, you take that back Ronnie: no take backs Ronnie: who the fuck is though like Joe: aw, you love him really thought Ronnie: take that back Ronnie: soft lad Joe: can't Joe: i don't make the rules but you enforce them hard Joe: alright, if a guy comes and asks for a light, its me Joe: so be nice Ronnie: who the fuck is friendlier Joe: if you want me quicker you won't ask me to make that list Ronnie: fucking fine Ronnie: only 'cause I do want you now Ronnie: you're still wrong Joe: Coming