#I voted bi/pan - tbh don't care if it's playersexual or otherwise just give me more options I'm tired

[chipped-chimera]

Chucking thoughts in here instead of a tag wall, because this is something I've been contemplating lately:

I'm torn on this one - I am by nature, a writer first. I am always going to generally favour a well written character which incorporates their sexuality into their personality over anything else. I feel Dorian in DA:I is a great example of this - I loved the female inquisitor's dynamic with him! Like he is extremely flirty, and when your female character tries to take it further he quickly explains his position and also that being flirty is part of his humour/personality - it's just how he is with everyone. And I was so down for that, like I imagine my Inquisitor's dynamic with him never changed - they're both being goddamn insufferable and hyping each other up just by flirting back and forth for fun! And I found that idea way more enriching and added another layer of depth both to him AND my player character. Because it got me thinking about their interactions outside of just what is presented in the game itself.

But on the other hand I really have to acknowledge that I could have probably figured out the whole Lesbian thing a lot faster if I was given the RIGHT female love interest - which then got me thinking about how female/female romance has been handled in games.

It's hard to put into words, because again attraction is relative - however, I do think there's something here. I thought back to every RPG game I really enjoyed with a female LI that could be romanced by a female player (mostly bioware). While I have ID'd as Bisexual since 18 and played female/female romances none of them were super appealing. It felt a lot of the time like it was 'for a lack of better option' choice than one I was super enthusiastic about - and then all the love interests I'd ACTUALLY be hype for - Cassandra Pentaghast, ME's Jack (who is canonically pansexual, we were done dirty), Panam Palmer - just to name a few, were locked into male-only romance. The common thread with a lot of these (yeah I clearly have a type, shut up lol) is they are very headstrong women who don't conform to societal gender expectations. They're stubborn, some swear like a sailor, and none of them you could ever class as stereotypically 'lady like'. They're all extremely confident in themselves and who they are in the world, and fuck anyone or anything who tries to make them compromise that.

By contrast, considering all the female love interests I've passed on over the years as a female character player (Liara T'soni, Josephine Montilyet, Leliana for example) I have liked as characters but not found them attractive because they're ... I don't know, they do have strength in them and show that but they very much - to me at least - fall within the realm of typical female archetypes. Also a notable argument was a lot of them reminded me of myself - or a self I'm trying to detach from - which made them unattractive to me. Fully aware this could be projecting but - they felt meek, not extremely assertive, like they were playing second fiddle to you as the player.

And I get this kind of ... sinking feeling, in my gut that this is, again - all male gaze. Female PCs by virtue of the narrative and game mechanics tend to be badasses, and especially in the case where there are a male/female character choice. You could argue they are written to be distinctly 'masculine', simply because they share a lot of lines with a male PC. I'm not against this - this is simply WRITING A GOOD CHARACTER to me. Gender is thrown out the window, in its place is just good writing. Ripley from Alien is often seen as an example of this, she was an excellent character for her time because she was originally written AS a man.* Because gender did NOT inform her character (or to the degree society expects women to perform gender) and was just written as a human being with logical reactions and motivation.

So where am I going with this? Well in the case of your badass, unisex-script PC, you fill the stereotypical 'dominant' role in the relationship dynamic. And I really can't help but notice, that the few wlw romance options available I've passed on over the years fall neatly into the more 'submissive' or 'feminine' role in this dynamic. Now think of the fact that men have a tendency to play female characters (for various, but often male gaze-ey reasons). There is a level of expectation from heteronormative gender roles that someone is the 'man' and someone is the 'woman' even a queer relationship (which any queer person knows - is complete bullshit). And because the player is LIKELY to be male, even playing a female I really do wonder if this is why all female romance options for female characters have been written this way. No wonder I'm passing on these options when for all intents and purposes - it reads like a het relationship. I'm not interested in a het relationship!

Am I delusional? Is it the Autism making me miss shit? Possibly. But I am just highly aware of the fact that every game I've played with a romance potential - I have always been locked out of going anywhere near the women I am actually interested in. They've been male-only options. And I think it's almost a weird ... Taming of the Shrew situation. Here is this wild (read: gender-role-non-conforming) woman and only a man can tame her.

So this is where I'm more pro-bi/pan romance characters, simply because it breaks this dynamic I feel so many love interests have been shoehorned into. ESPECIALLY in cases where there is good grounds for speculation (or even CANON) that a character is actually bi/pan - but is un-romanceable if your PC is a certain gender. Making everyone bi/pan eliminates this trope bias. And I know my instinct on this must be getting SOMETHING right, if the horrified response of gamerbros to Karlach being dominant with them in bed is anything to go by. I'm not arguing that Karlach is Lesbian coded either, I firmly believe this is a HUGE win for both the Lesbians and Men who like dominant women. We're both sitting on lounge chairs together near the pool drinking beer. (Also notice how a Man wanting to be with a dominant woman is considered a 'fetish'? Anyway gender roles are dumb).

So as much as I am a writer first, and I love how sexuality is woven into a characters identity - honestly until we actually break down these intentional/unintentional biases in how we represent our same-sex romances, especially when options are already horribly limited, I'd simply prefer to be able to romance them, regardless of my character's gender.

Anyway gender is a social construct, fuck TERFs, and thanks for coming to my wlw in videogames TED talk.

this is just sparked by my own curiosity, not by any sort of drama. i am not here to try and debate whether or not romances belong in games at all, or whether or not you should enjoy them (you should if you want), or even if they belong in fandom spaces (they do), i just want to know how people feel about the mechanic being present in a game overall

do not use this as an excuse to try and tear down others, that's the quickest way to get blocked

*this does not mean playersexual! **this can mean gender and/or sexuality preferences, think how cp2077 let you romance certain characters if you had a specific voice-type