#I usually don't like people seeing my process cause I know is disastrous

[ratguy-nico]

If you remember this one I just can say... AAAAWWWW 😊

This is from way back, ending september, when I was just ending Bob's Burgers and I was totally down on my knees fully in love (not much different from now)

So because is so old Im pretty sure Im not gonna end it. This is one of my favorite episodes for sure, and I literally had this scene as a wallpaper in my pc.

I never like to post things withouth giving something better than rough scketches so im gonna also put the process (pls dont judge) I see so many people who since the fucking start is like perfect and mine are blobs. Just my life.

Blob-Rough Scketch-Scketch and then comes Lineart but this one doesn't have it.

And the reference cause you may notice this is a strange take in the scene and this is because for a strange reason I was basing my drawing in religious art. It's worth say am agnostic pagan so this is purely my head saying this sound like a good idea.

[grimgiggles]

Sigh.

I dislike jumping into discourses as contentious and subjective and BIG as the discourse over Ludinus' conversation with BH in the last episode, but there is a point that I haven't seen anyone making (idk, maybe people have been making it and I just haven't seen it) about his side of the argument, and I think it's worth consideration.

Ludinus values being right over being good.

Most people are thinking one of two things right now:

1. Yes, obviously, so?

2. What's the difference?

Let me put it another way: Ludinus values being correct over being kind. To him, Truth is more important than Compassion. He is the kind of person for whom a hard, blunt truth is a greater expression of love than any expression of softness or gentleness that is not 100% true. I hope that clarifies it.

At this point I want to make it clear that nothing that follows is a justification of Ludinus' actions, or an attempt to make him more sympathetic or anything. This is all exposition and analysis, on my part.

So, when I listened to his conversation with BH, I did not hear him trying to justify his own actions while condemning the gods' very same actions, and I didn't hear him trying to deflect blame for the wrongs he has done or that others have done for him. He admitted that he had done much wrong in pursuit of his goal. He knows the (many different) kinds of people he works with. He knows that there are parallels between him and his enemies (the gods), he KNOWS that he isn't the Good Guy (none of this matters to him). Every time it sounded (because that's what people expected to hear) like he was defending himself, what I heard was factual correction. He wants people to get their details straight. Because that's Truth.

But he believes, he KNOWS (and we don't know if he's right or wrong) that if he accomplishes his goals, everyone in the world will be, on balance, better off for it. For him, this is a labor of love (and sure, it's also motivated by hatred for the gods born from trauma, the two things aren't mutually exclusive). It's a very non-personal, universal - you could even say clinical - kind of love, but it is love.

But (and I know this from experience) it is SO difficult to convey earnest conviction and humility at the same time. It is almost impossible to say "I know I've hurt people and I know that's bad but I swear I swear I SWEAR I am doing this FOR you please LISTEN to me" without coming across exactly the way that Ludinus does: as a villain trying to justify himself. And he knows this, so he doesn't bother trying to make himself look like the Good Guy (again, he doesn't care about being Good, he cares about being Right), even while he DOES try to present his case in a way that he hopes will be understood.

He IS a villain, to be clear.

He has fallen into the classic INTJ villain trap (whaaaat meyers-briggs? In my meta? BTW this is a legitimate mbti stereotype, it's kind of messed up), which goes:

1. The INTJ experiences grief.

2. The INTJ identifies the cause of their suffering as a universal cause of suffering.

3. The INTJ processes their grief by intellectualizing it and devising a way to eliminate the cause of suffering completely, forever. They see this as not only personally cathartic but an act of service to everyone.

4. The INTJ gets tunnel vision about their goals.

5. The INTJ's methods hurt people, which forms an opposition to their goals.

6. Attempts at peaceful resolution fail because the INTJ is usually quite bad at connecting to people and making themselves understood on an emotional level (despite usually being very good at understanding, at least on a surface level, the motivations of others), and most other people simply don't even realize that they are not understanding.

7. One party or the other succeeds, usually with disastrous fallout for both sides. The only way to prevent this is to make a strong personal emotional connection with the INTJ - which is extremely difficult because the grief back in step 1 caused them to retreat WAY behind walls of Intellect, Pragmatism, and Cynicism - and through that connection remind them that actually the ends don't justify the means.

The other thing that makes Ludinus a villain is that he wants to commit genocide (technically he wants to enable genocide). He wants to eliminate an entire population of entities who are, he even conceded himself, basically just people. And he's okay with that, because it will, in his mind, be a net benefit for everyone else, and because in a truly wild subversion, he sees the gods as less than people. His hatred of the gods has morphed in his mind into a weird doctrine of mortal supremacism. He may or may not (personally I'm leaning toward probably not) be Correct about what will happen if he succeeds, but he is Wrong either way.

I digress. I veered a little off my point there, just to make it absolutely clear that I do not agree with Ludinus. He is a Bad Guy who must be Stopped.

We just saw step 6 fail, predictably, because BH and Ludinus spent the whole time talking at cross-purposes. Imogen probably got closest to actually communicating meaningfully with him, with her line of questioning on Predathos, but she didn't get very far because he has no reason to trust her with everything he knows. They were just fishing for more information, and he was just fishing for angles to hook a vessel.

My point is this: that conversation in Aeor was nothing. BH did not score any points, and neither did Ludinus (although he came pretty close with his little trick with Delilah, and he got away with the orb). Neither party came any closer to actually understanding the other or making themselves understood.

All these posts going around celebrating how BH "got him" or whatever are completely.

Misunderstanding.

Ludinus.

And so is BH.

[theythedisaster]

SAFE ZONE

Pairing: Bakugou Katsuki x Reader

Words: 1,749

Warning: Slight Angst, Mentions of death

Summary:

Sometimes he could be a real pain in the ass. He could be annoying, angry, cruel and snappy, but Bakugo surely was always there whenever you needed him. He could also lend a very good shoulder on which to cry on. So you were in luck, because you really needed one.

 

He had never liked admitting things like these. Doing so was like going against his very being, but there was no way around it. 

   He was worried about you. 

   That was Bakugo's line of thought as he sat before the television in your shared apartment. His eyes stared at the breaking news, your form followed from a distance as you ran with two little boys in your arms. Tears ran down your cheeks. Your face was dirty, your hero costume almost unrecognizable, your hair had long left your always put together braid that he helped you with in the mornings. There was smoke everywhere, so much that he was sure it was mere luck that the camera man had the opportunity to catch the scene. But just like he could see it, everyone else could and it was gone in an instant. 

The sight of your flushed, wet cheeks made him feel uneasy. It had just been for a straight second, but he had seen tears. He had seen you cry many times before, since the academy days. So he was rather skilled at noticing the slightest changes on your face. Everyone else might have mistaken your crying eyes for irritated ones because of the smoke, but he knew better. He knew you better than anyone else. 

  Bakugo was sure that no one would suspect you, because a hero knew better than to cry in a disastrous situation. Especially you, [hero name], the always collected and strategically exceptional pro-hero. The one that had saved countless lives in some of the worst situations in these past four years of her pro-hero career. In every situation, you had managed to save everyone under your line of sight, giving you also the name of 'The protector'. 

    But that was exactly the problem. 

   There was no way that that title given by the own citizens hadn't gotten to you. He knew it put the utmost pressure on your shoulders, given you the idea of becoming the perfect hero. The one that would save everyone in which you laid eyes upon. 

   So, seeing you lose your collected demeanor was a big indicator that something was terribly wrong. 

   "We are reporting from the edges of the current battlefield. The pro-hero Deku has been holding off an unknown villain for the past hour as heroes [hero name], Uravity, Kamui Woods, Creati and  Froppy have joined forces  to rescue the victims of the primary attack." The slightly desperate voice of the reporter brought Bakugo back to his senses. The camera man seemed to try and get more shots of the scene, but the smoke wasn't going to let them. It was a wall behind the masked reporter. "There's a massive wall of smoke behind us, so we cannot really see anything past it. We don't know if our heroes and fellow citizens are safe and we certainly do not know for how much longer this will conti-"

  "Look out!" 

   Bakugo stood straight from a jump when he heard your voice for a second before the camera shut off. 

  "Reporter Ito! Reporter Ito! Is everything alright?" 

  The desperate shouts of the news hosts fell into the background as he stood there, struggling to breathe to calm himself down. His heart was racing and the hold he had on the remote proved to be too much for it to handle. Shattered, he let the remote fall from his hands as he sat helplessly on the couch. 

  Why of all days, did it have to be in his free week that this happened? He could have been there with you, with everyone. If he were there he knew that that villain would have been suppressed long ago. No one could manage a pair of heroes like him and that nerd joining forces. If he was there he would have most probably... 

   No, there was no reason to be throwing 'what-ifs' now. He had just woken up when he sat to watch the news and found out about the situation. There was no way he could know something like this would happen and there was no way he would get there in time now. It was almost at the other side of the country, a few hours at the least.

   Even if he hated to admit it, he was sure that Deku would take care of things like he always does. He knew he would prefer to die before letting any of his teammates perish again. 

   All he could do now was trust your strength and the strength of everyone else. It had always been difficult for him... Trusting people. But he had found that it was easier to do so with you. So at least, he would trust you with your own life. He knew he could do that much. 

 

 

   It seemed like an eternity, but night arrived at last and so did you along with it. The soft creak of the door announced your arrival to your 4 year long partner. 

   Your head was hanging lower than usual, your shoulders slumped forwards, your feet dragging. Overall, you looked as if you had been carrying insanely heavy baggage on your back for a long time. You didn't seem tired in the same way you did every day. This form was new to him, he had never seen something remotely similar coming from you. And it alarmed him. 

  The young man walked towards you, who stopped in the middle of the hallway upon seeing him. He stood there, observing you, making you feel tiny. You couldn't even bring yourself to look him in the face. You were certain that if you did, everything would crumble and causing him more worry was something you weren't really fond of.

You knew he had seen everything. He always wakes up just before 10 in his free days and immediately proceeds to watch the news. So there was no way he didn't get to watch the whole live broadcast. Word even got to you that they  managed to record you in action. He most probably even caught your slip up. 

  There was no way to know for how long the two of you just stood there, him observing you and you avoiding his eyes. But at last, he spoke. 

  "Hey." He said simply, reaching for your hand.  His voice low, a raspy whisper. Just as if it wasn't only the two if you. 

   Your body immediately relaxed after his warm touch. A strong relief washed over you when you heard his raspy voice. Your eyes finally found their way to his and it was then when you realized that you had slipped up and let your guard down once again. 

  Bakugo's face contorted with pain when he watched your eyes fill with tears. They spilled fast and smoothly. There was no doubt that they were filled with emotion. Which one exactly? He wasn't sure. He wasn't all too versed on detecting feelings himself. 

  His free hand grabbed the back of your head and pulled you into his chest. His embrace was quiet, but it spoke more than words could, told you so much more than what his mouth ever could. The softness of his gesture got to you. You crumbled. 

  And it was then that you really broke down. 

  "I- I couldn't save her! I couldn't," you choked, "keep them my promise." You sobbed loudly, louder than you had ever sobbed before. "I couldn't save their mother, Katsuki!" Your hands trembled on his chest, the hold you had on his shirt increasing with your cries. 

   His arms tightened around you, his face buried on your hair at the top of your head. At this moment, he wished he could take away your suffering. He wished he could say something that would calm your heart, but he knew there was nothing he could do other than lend himself to you. 

   He held you as you choked on your own cries, incoherent words left your hasty mind and aching heart. 

   It wasn't clear to you when, but at some point you exhausted yourself to sleep. When you opened your eyes, you were resting on top of an almost dozed Bakugo. His shirt was soaked with your tears, his face facing the ceiling as his body rested sideways on the couch. His hold around you still strong, protective. 

  You pushed yourself up from him, startling him awake in the process. He blinked at you, quickly lifting himself and supporting his body by his elbows. He watched you with a scowl, not liking the fact that you were avoiding his eyes again. 

  "I'm sorry." You apologized, keeping your eyes glued to the darker spot on your boyfriend's shirt.

  Said thing only got you a flick on the center of your forehead. 

  Your hands flew to the damaged spot, rapidly moving your gaze to meet Katsuki's. "What are you saying sorry for, idiot?" You just watched the tender look on his eyes, words not forming. He reached again, pulling you into him. "There's nothing to be sorry for. You tried your best. I bet she's grateful you saved her children." 

 He felt how you trembled, his embrace around you waist tightening. 

 You sniffed softly, and let his gentle thumb pick the tear that rolled down your cheek before facing your beloved. You dried the tears that followed with the back of your hand, but it was nearly futile. They just kept coming. You couldn't help it, the aching of your soul echoing through your whole being and forcing them out. Nevertheless, among those tiny tears, you offered him a small smile. 

 He offered you one of his own, running his hand through your hair. "Let's take a bath and go to bed. You need to rest." The gentleness of his voice was rather foreign for you, but not a complete stranger by any means. 

 Your boyfriend stood, offering his hand to help you out of the couch. And even after helping you out and up, he didn't let go.

 Maybe your heart was hurting and your soul mourning a mother that didn't belong to you, but would now never leave your memories. Maybe you wouldn't be able to stop hurting for a while, but with Katsuki by your side you knew you could go through it. This man really didn't know how much of an influence he had on you. He really didn't know that he was indeed, your safe zone.