#I tried. My handwriting's normally shit- and this was with a mouse

[cosmictyto]

Sometimes, all you need is a self-care day with goofy robes, your favorite people, and trashy tv.

A while back @luci-hypno83 made these posts about Bal and Amb with "Rich Wife Robes," one thing led to another, and this was something that just needed to be drawn. (Also kudos to the one reblog that mentioned Ambrosius dramatically calling for Bal. Without you that lil comic wouldn't exist, lol) Took me forever but dammit it's finally been finished, lol.

Also, based off that internal rant Ambrosius has in the movie, I am 100% confident in knowing he's the kind of guy who gets really into whatever he's watching and will add sassy commentary to go with. Nims is the exact same. Bal's given up on trying to actually hear the show and is fine letting the chaos unfold.

(Btw, Amb's is ripped from this video I found a while back of a husband reacting to an episode of Love is Blind.)

[zendozebra]

All the Time in the World Chapter 5

Oh god, his head hurts. What was he doing here, again? Wait, where the hell is he? This isn't his apartment. It's not Inko's apartment, either, and those are usually the two places he wakes up at. What wa- Oh, god his head hurts. Is he hungover? But he only drank three bottles!

"Ah, did you have a nice rest, Majima-san?" Whose voice was that again? The mouse guy right? Where the hell was he? Okay, everything's coming into focus, and there's Nezu, staring at him. Along with like, 20 other people. Okay seriously, what's going on? "You're in the spectator's booth, waiting for the UA Entrance Exams to begin. Are you alright?"

"Well, that explains a few things." He needed a drink. Water, this time, he's not that crazy as to start drinking on the first day of the job. He leaned forward in his seat, raising his eyebrows. "Wait, the exam's already started? Why didn't ya wake me up earlier?!" Son of a bitch, now he has to use Time Stop to get his shit together, walk around the room and copy the notes from all the other teachers- Oh hey Iwata- and then make his own notes based on whatever the hell is on the screens. By the time he comes out of it, he's got everything together and is one professional-lookin' teacher man. He notices that the other teachers look a little surprised at his quick transition from hungover to ready, but whatever, they're gonna be working together for a while, they'll get used to him and his particular brand of bullshit sooner or later.

"Alright, well what are we- Oh shit, is that Izu-chan?" Iwata jumped at the mention of the green haired kid, which caught Majima by surprise. "What's with you, Iwata-kun?"

The skeletal hero seemed confused with Majima calling him the wrong name, but he pushed on, "How is it you know about young Midoriya? Shouldn't this be the first time you've met the boy?"

"Hardly, I've known the kid for years, got some kind of strength quirk, though I've never seen him use it."

"How do you-?!"

"Saw him with this big-ass list of strength exercises a few months back. Figured I'd put two and two together." He explained, which seemed to appease All Might, as he relaxed back into his seat. What's that about? "Either way, I'm confused why he's not using it. He's just running around like a chicken that's lost its head. C'mon! Punch something already, kid!"

"Majima-san, Yagi-san, need I remind you that you should be making notes on all of the participants?" Both men felt a chill wash over them under Nezu's gaze, and quickly got back to work. Majima only used his Time Stop once more towards the end of the exams, making one more circuit around the room, copying everyone's notes again. He liked the spaceman the most, whoever they were had some great handwriting, despite that suit they wore. Only one minute left in the exam, huh? Wond- What the fuck is that thing?!

Some giant-ass robot just marched its way onto the field, destroying buildings left and right. What the hell is wrong with this school? You're really gonna put you kids up against something like that? Sure, he gets that they need to keep an eye out for the best and brightest, but throwing a giant, smoking, explodi-

The robot just blew up. The fucking robot just blew up. Who the fuck?! Midoriya? Little Izu-chan? Blowing up robots the size of a skyscraper? How strong is this kid, anyway? Iwata looked super happy over somethin', but the rest of the teachers seemed to be freaking out just like he was. Wait, a minute, there were other people on the other side of the arena, weren't there? Okay, snap of a finger, coin flip. Heads is Jin, he goes out there, pulls some people out of the way of the debris. Tails is Akira, he sits pretty in his seat and he doesn't bat a god damn eye. Alright, flip of the coin and- Fuck, damnit! He hates coin flips, he always gets Jin! Oh, he was going to have words with this boy when he's done here.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Majima brought himself out of Time Stop, watching Izuku stumble around and fall to the ground as he tried to used to being moved so far so quickly. Good thing he figured out how to manipulate his quirk like that, let him interact with the frozen world without completely obliterating anything he touched. It's usually pretty ugly when that happens to a person. Ah, that takes him back. That was how he originally met Akira, right? And then he met Jin a week later in the karaoke parlor, with Aimi. Or were they bowling? Didn't Jin hate bowling though? Fuck it, he'll write all this shit down when he gets a chance. Okay, Izuku finally stopped vomiting, back to work.

"You already know what I want to talk to you about, kid. So spit it out, and then we can get on with our day." He has a bottle of Johnnie Walker waiting for him back at his place, and he'd like to drink it as soon as he could.

Of course, Izuku looked terribly nervous and confused, but that should go without saying. "I'm sorry, Majima-san, but I still can't control my q-"

"Oh, I don't give a shit about your quirk, boy!" Oh, wow, he hadn't yelled at anyone in a long time, forgot how that felt. Much angrier about this than he'd thought he was. Not as much fun when the person you're yelling looks close to tears, though. Trying to calm himself down a bit, he lit a cigarette, giving them both a moment to collect themselves. "I get what you were going for, kid, I do. I'd have to be an idiot not to. But you gotta understand that brute force, as great a card it might be, isn't always the best way to go. Sure, ya saved everyone running south of the bot. But what about the people running north?"

There we go, now he's starting to see where he went wrong. "They… They were running away too, right?" Instead of nervous, he was starting to look just a bit scared. Good, making some progress, but we're still not there yet.

"'Course they were. Now, normally you'd be right, and this wouldn't be a problem-"

"But it was a giant robot. It could have still fallen on people!" There we go, this kid is gonna be a treat to teach if he gets in. Now to drive the lesson home with a good ol' guilt trip.

"And it would have, if I hadn't been around. Don't think Iwata could have buffed himself up fast enough to be of any help, which means that quite a number of injuries would have been on your head, kid, and we both know you don't want that." Ah, Akira's methods to get Jin's results. They would have been so proud. Well, Aimi would have, the other two would've probably been fighting over who could take the credit for his choices.

"But… Majima-san…" Ah great, the kid's still got questions. Doesn't he realize that Majima has a life outside of this crap. He still has to make dinner later, for christ sake. Or maybe…

"Tell ya what, Izu-chan. You invite me over for some of your ma's cooking, and I'll answer every question that you have. Just don't go asking about whether or not you got accepted. Don't have the answer to that one myself." With that, he once again throws an arm around Izuku's shoulder and starts leading them down the street, a good, hearty meal awaiting our future hero, and the bored old man who realizes that he seriously needs to find some new friends.

A/N- If there are any artists who would be willing to draw a reference picture of Majima, please leave a message in the comments. This is, of course, a paid position.

[pocketsizedsam-blog1]

The Unexpected Perks of Being a Nanny Chapter Sixteen

Pairing: Jared x Reader

Word Count: 2.6k

Warnings: pregnancy

Beta: @my-squirrel-and-moose

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, in hopes that St. Nicholas would soon be there.” You were frustrated as to why Jared had to work on Christmas’ Eve, the holidays were always given off.  Although it only interfered with your plans- the kids would not be in Vancouver until after the new year. They were having Christmas at Nanny and Poppy Cortese’s like Genevieve promised them, so you were home alone, for yet another Christmas Eve. You had felt more tired than normal in the the last few weeks and all of a sudden, you felt a sick feeling in your stomach. You just barely made it to the bathroom before you spilled your stomach contents out into the toilet. Hoping you were just coming down with the flu, you flushed the toilet, washed your face and brushed your teeth. You pulled your cell phone out of your pocket as you curled up on the couch, cuddled into your favorite blanket. You dialed Jared’s number and listened to it ring while you waited for a response.

“Hello.” He answered.

You could hear other voices in the background, which was obviously distracting Jared. And by the tone of his voice, he hadn’t even looked at the caller ID before answering.

“Hey.” You yawned.

“Oh, Hey, Y/N. What’s up?”

“Nothing much… I’m sick.” You frowned.

“Sick… Like how?”

“I just threw up. I’ve been nothing but exhausted and nauseated these last couple of weeks… I’ve got a terrible headache and my period is really off this week. It was late, now it’s like I don’t even have a period. I’m just spotty, crampy and bloated.” You sighed. “Maybe I’m stressin’. All these symptoms can be caused by stress, right?”

“That and pregnancy.” Jared worried.

“Oh, come on, Jared. That’s impossible! The first time we had sex we used a condom, and we haven’t really had a lot of sex since than.” You shrugged.

“Condoms break, Y/N.  Even a pinhole can let the sperm go through.”

“Jared, don’t tell me that….Oh god, I think I’m going to be sick.” You rushed.

In truth, you weren’t ready for a baby of your own quite yet.  Jared and you have only been dating for a year, his youngest is only nine months old!

“I know, I know, don’t worry.  Look, I’m just gonna take the rest of the night off and come home early. I’ll pick up some pregnancy tests on my way and don’t drink any eggnog, just to be on the safe side. Maybe you’re not even pregnant… maybe you’re just stressin’, like you said!” Jared tried to calm you down.

You took a deep breath and gulped, “okay.”

It wasn’t long before Jared was home and he arrived with the pregnancy tests like he said. He was about to greet you with a kiss, but you put your hand up and shook your head no, signalling him to stop.

“I just threw up.” You groaned.

He proceeded to give you a kiss on the forehead before handing you three different kinds of pregnancy tests.

“These things rarely give false positives… So if you get a positive on at least one… we’ll call and make an appointment, okay? We’ll be regardless of the outcome. And my god, Y/N you went to school to take care of kids and I have three of them myself!”

You nodded and took the tests from Jared, then went into the powder room. You came out a few minutes later.

“I couldn’t pee.” Your bottom lip quivered.

“Okay… well let’s get some water into you, Okay?”

You shook your head yes as Jared led you into the kitchen. He sat you down with a glass of water and told you to drink as much as you could.

“Do you need me to help?”

You gave Jared a glare, “no.”

He threw his hands up in the air as if to surrender.

“Nope, Okay. Sorry.”

You, shakily, made your way back into the powder room off the kitchen, and waited a few minutes. You were able to pee the second time, taking all three of the different tests. Jared knocked on the door.

“You okay in there? Did you take the tests?” He worried.

“Yeah, I did.” You opened up the door and let Jared in.

He closed the door behind him and stood behind you and the sink, his arms wrapped around you tightly.

“I can’t do this.” You sniffed.

“Yeah, you can. You know what I see when I look in this mirror? A happy, healthy, independent, hot woman. You’re perfect, Y/N. You know a lot about how to take care of kids and you have a great relationship with my kiddos- and Jensen’s kids-”

You cut him off, “what about the things I screwed up? Adam? Adelaide? Adam barely talks to me and I can’t exactly call Adelaide up on the phone!”

“Those relationships will take time to heal, but they will.”

You and Jared stood in silence until your phone timer went off. When you didn’t look right away, Jared took it upon himself to look.

“They’re negative.” He frowned.

“W-what? You’re joking, r-right?”

He shook his head no. You started to cry and you reached for the tests.

“I am just kidding babe, they’re all positive.” Jared cracked a smile as he showed you the pregnancy tests.

You punched his arm and grabbed the tests. It was exactly like the scene you watched in F.R.I.E.N.D.S when Phoebe told Rachel she wasn’t pregnant… and she actually was!

“You little shit!” You exclaimed, wiping your tears and staring at all the positives. “Oh god, Jare, I haven’t even met your parents yet!”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.”

“Or your sister and brother! Wow, I am a terrible person!”

“You’re not a terrible person, it’s just I haven’t had the chance to take you down to Texas. We can go soon, okay? Just let me get the tickets.”

“Okay.” You rubbed your stomach.

You and Jared washed your hands, then placed the pregnancy tests on the countertop. You headed into the living room and lied down with Jared to watch a movie. How the Grinch Stole Christmas was playing and you started to doze off while watching, cuddled into Jared. You didn’t remember him turning off the movie and you didn’t remember him carrying you upstairs. It was the next morning before you remembered anything, you rushed out to the ensuite and threw up again. To no surprise, you had very little left in your stomach to throw up. Jared must have already been downstairs, you figured he was booking a flight to Texas. You brushed your teeth then made your way down over the stairs and glanced at the Christmas tree. It looked bare. It reminded you of every other Christmas you had growing up.

“Oh, hey.” Jared smiled and greeted you with a kiss. “Good morning, Y/N! Mornin’ Baby.”

Jared rubbed your stomach and smiled down at it.

“Daddy’s super happy you’re in there. I think mommy’s a little bit nervous-”

“A little bit nervous? That’s an understatement!” You giggled.

“But, I know she’s going to do great… ‘cause she’s awesome with your older brothers and sister! Isn’t that right?” Jared looked back up to you. “I got you something!”

“Oh, yeah? I got you a little something too!”

“Let’s open up some gifts and then get breakfast, huh? Then we can have a lazy day, you’re probably not feeling up to turkey.”

“Yeah… I’m not.” You laughed. “Not up for breakfast either.”

“You gotta eat something, Y/N, remember, you’re eating for two! Tell mommy she’s got to try and eat something!”

“Alright, after we open presents we’ll have breakfast.” You smiled, rubbing your stomach.

It was pretty lonely in Vancouver, you didn’t have a lot of friends and the Ackles were gone back to Texas for Christmas.

“So… I was also thinking, you haven’t met all my co-workers yet, why don’t we have Misha and Alexander over before we go to Texas?”

“I’d like that.” You grinned, taking a seat on the floor next to the Christmas tree.

“It’s our first Christmas as a couple.”

“As friends too… remember? We only met in June of the year.” You corrected him.

“Right, right.” He laughed. “I-I got something for you.”

Jared smiled as he handed you a wrapped box. You took it excitedly, but not eagerly. It was wrapped so perfectly, no doubt Jared had done it himself. He also handed you a card. “Y/N” in all capitals was written across the front. You opened the card first. Inside was Jared’s beautiful handwriting, saying, “Dear Y/N, here’s to our first Christmas together.” There was a Victoria Secret gift card inside.

“I guess you can you can use that after the baby comes.” He gave you a smile.

You chuckled and tore the wrapping paper off the box. When you opened the box, you couldn’t believe your eyes. There was a matching set of earrings, a necklace and a ring!

“I know we’re know we’re nowhere near ready to get married, just consider it a promise ring, or just an ordinary ‘ole ring from your boyfriend.”

“Oh, wow, Jared- This is beautiful!” You choked back tears. “I love it!”

Quickly, you grabbed the present you had for Jared. You handed it to him. He took it carefully and started to unwrap it. You felt you should have given him more. He opened it, looked at it closely and flipped through the pages. He frowned when he got halfway through the book. You had given him a photo album that was half filled with pictures of you, him and the kids.

“It’s not finished?”

“I-I figured we could fill it with new memories that we make.” You sniffed, looking to the ground. “I’m sorry, it was stupid. I should’ve given you something else.”

“No, no! Y/N, I love it!” He laid the book down and scooted over next to you.

He pulled you into his arms as you started to sob.

“You really like it?” You sniffed, looking up at him.

“Like it? I love it, Y/N. I couldn’t ask for anything better! I got the perfect present from the perfect girl. I was the one who gave you the stereotypical, materialistic present. You gave me something that was heartfelt.”

You gave him a little smile, “but I love what you gave me! My bra and panty selection is crappy and I have zero pieces of jewelry.”

“Hey, I love your bra and panty selection! I think you look beautiful in whatever you wear!”

“Oh, are you purposely trying to score boyfriend points?” You giggled, wiping your tears.

“What? No… of course not…” He grinned. “But if I was… would it be working?”

“Oh, you sly guy.” You curled into him. “Yes, of course it would.”

You and Jared stayed like that for a few minutes before you opened up the gifts from other people. After that, you and Jared had breakfast, which the baby did not agree with, and you watched movies. Your mind wandered to your siblings who haven’t talked to you in months. You sent them Christmas gifts but you never got any reply to say they received them. You could only imagine the amount of pain they were going through this Christmas, with their father so sick and all. You wished you could help, but Adam didn’t want it. You only got dressed when Jared announced that Alexander, Misha and Misha’s family were on their way.

“Did you want to tell them or should we wait to tell everybody?” You pulled a shirt down over your body.

It was a red shirt with Christmas designs all over it.

“I mean, if you want to tell them, they could probably keep the secret until we’re ready to tell everyone else.” Jared shrugged.

“Well yeah.” You laughed. “I think we should tell him.”

Before you knew it, you heard the doorbell downstairs. You rushed down to meet Alex and the Collins’, getting slightly stomach sick from how fast you moved. You opened up the door and shot Alex, who was in front of Misha, Vicki, West and Maison, a warm smile. You let them all in the house to get out of the cold, harsh Vancouver weather.

“Hi! It’s nice to finally meet you!” Alexander smiled as he pulled you into a hug.

“Wow, such a gentleman!”

Alex was closer to your age than Jared was. He was only twenty-seven whereas Jared was thirty-five.

“Me? Nah.” He laughed. “Merry Christmas! I brought some wine!”

Jared entered the foyer and grinned, taking the bottle from Alexander, “that will be all mine.”

“Would it kill you to share, Jared? He gets like this on set.” Alex teased.

You proceed to give Misha a hug while Jared and Alex spoke.

“It’s nice to finally meet you, Y/N! Jared doesn’t stop talking about you.” Misha laughed.

“Actually, Y/N doesn’t drink and she can’t have it anyways.” Jared cut in and placed the bottle on the counter.

You gave Vicki a hug as well, then waved hi to the kids. West and Maison waved hi back. Alex never put two and two together which caused you and Jared to let out a few laughs, but you were sure Misha and Vicki knew what you were talking about.

“What? What’s so funny? Did I step in something? Is something on my face? I feel like I’m on set.” He referenced how the older men always played pranks on him.

“No, no.” You laughed.

“You’re just not the sharpest tool in the shed.” Jared cackled.

You landed a smack on Jared’s shoulder,

“The reason I can’t have alcohol is because I’m pregnant.” You smiled shyly.

“Oh wow! Congratulations you two!” Alex shot you a smile.

“There’s going to be another mini-Jared around here?!” Misha faked annoyance.

“If I’m lucky at all, the little one will be a mini Y/N; the world could use more like her.” Jared said looking straight at you with pride in his eyes.

“Kids are awesome, congrats you two!” Vicki added.

“Oh, trust me… I know.” You laughed.

West and Maison wandered off into the house as if they were at their own house.

“Just don’t tell anyone.” Jared warned. “You guys are the first ones to know and we don’t want you to spoil the surprise!”  

“The secret is safe with me, but…uh.. I don’t know how long this one will be able to keep the surprise.” Vicki said pointing to her husband.

“Me!! Are you joking? Moose here is the one who spoils the surprises when he can’t keep his mouth shut!” Misha said glaring at Jared.

“Fine, that may be true, but with this one, I’m not ruining it.” Jared said, once again staring only at you. And that’s when you looked back up to him, reaching up on your tippy-toes to kiss Jared.

“Now I get why Jensen says that being around you two is gross.” Alex said beginning to walk away from the entrance and in further to the home.

“Aw is Alex jealous that his girl couldn’t come with him?” Jared said after the two of you broke apart.

“You all are such boys.” Vicki said laughing beside you.

“Hey!!” Both Jared and Misha said at the same time, causing everyone to break out in chuckles and laughter.

“Okay okay, let’s go sit, I’ve got snacks in the kitchen if anyone is interested. We can talk about true ages later.” You said teasing Jared and Misha, already knowing that tonight would be a great way to meet the Collins family and Alex.

Tags: @inevergaveuplarry @nanie5 @reachforthestarsgirl @beckawinchester @internationalmusicteacher

[budapestalloveragain]

surpriseeeee i haven’t done 2 more tags!! dia @heartsalmighty tagged me in a 21 (? i mean it’s called 20 questions but there are 21 lol) question tag and marlon @lovelybenny tagged me in a 39 question tag so i guess this is like ...a 59 (60??) question tag kinda... thank you so much dia and marlon for tagging me !! sorry i took so long xD

name: april

nickname: what can you even do with my name lol 

zodiac: libra babyyyy

height: 5′2″ rip i’m so short xD

orientation: 100% no clue, i was thinking maybe bi or pan but now i’m like just...confused 

nationality: american, but i was born in china 

favorite fruit: bananas !!! i feel like no one likes bananas but i love them haha (strawberries and peaches are a close second though)

favorite season: fall probably, but i kinda like spring into summer (i like summer bc no school lol)

favorite book: nineteen minutes by jodi picoult

favorite flower: i don’t really have one? daisies are cute though ^-^

favorite scent: like... the scent of food tbh

favorite color: rEDDDD

favorite animal: pandas 

coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: neither really, i don’t like hot drinks

average hours of sleep: not enough lol

favorite fictional characters: so many... claire temple is my #1 forever and ever though <3

number of blankets you sleep with: 1

dream trip: south korea :P what a surprise (more places in asia in general though, like indonesia, philippines, singapore...)

blog created: december 2014, it’s been 2 years already wow!

number of followers: 591 (why ?? couldn’t tell you)

are you named after someone? april from the comic “for better or for worse” bc in case you didn’t know i was born in october soooo

when was the last time you cried? when i went to see lion bc oh my god idk if it’s just bc it’s like personally kinda relatable to me or something else but i couldn’t stop it was so bad

do you like your handwriting? some days haha

what is your favourite lunch meat? chipotle chicken ^-^

do you have kids? nopeeee i want some later though!

if you were another person, would you be friends with you? probably not lol i think i’m really annoying xD depends on who i was though

do you use sarcasm? what do you think :P

do you still have your tonsils? yep!

would you bungee jump? no omg i’d probably throw up or pass out mid air oh my lord

what is your favourite kind of cereal? cherrios !!! i also like crispix and grape nuts though

do you untie your shoes when you take them off? nope lol i just slip them off

do you think you’re a strong person? physically no, i can literally lift nothing, but like emotionally ...potentially ? i’m doing alright in life so far

what is your favourite ice cream? BANANAAAA but only from my local ice cream store haha also coffee as a more general thing (but the one from my local ice cream store is the best imo)

what is the first thing you notice about people? hair probably

what is the least favourite physical thing you like about yourself? so many things to choose from lol

what colour pants and shoes are you wearing now? navy gym shorts w/ lavender accents & light grey socks w/ pink accents

what are you listening to right now? my kpop playlist, what else xD (specifically rhythm ta by iKON, what a fucking song)

if you were a crayon, what colour would you be? oh gosh idk maybe like some wacky lime green color haha

favourite smell? oh whoops i already answered this one ummm yeah still food lol

who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? my mom

favourite sport to watch? wait actually i really like watching sports xD especially in the olympics !! my favs are soccer (like at all times tbh, i used to play soccer so i actually understand it lol and fun fact i’ve decided my fav team is fc barcelona but i can’t tell you anything about them), swimming, synchronized diving (and normal diving but specifically synchro), gymnastics (rhythmic & artistic + acro omg yes acro is so cool)

hair colour? super super dark brown

eye colour? dark brown too lol

do you wear contacts? nopeee i’m too scared to touch my eye haha (i have glasses though, i can’t see for shit)

favourite food to eat? chicken in any form but also potato chips and ice cream (and bananas lol at all times)

scary movies or comedy? comedy bc i love to laugh & also i’m so easily scared xD

last movie you watched? ummm i tried rewatching the hannah montana movie but i couldn’t do it lol i never realized how unrealistic everything was ??? like she definitely should have been able to get into her own concert lol and people dEFINITELY would have figured out who she was ?? the security was so bad ?? anyways lol i think before that it was probably i am not your negro which was really good

what colour shirt are you wearing? a white shirt that’s like a lil pink bc i wore it for holi last week and most of the color came out but not all of it

summer or winter? summer bc no school lol

hugs or kisses? hugs <3 

what book are you currently reading? we just finished gatsby for english (what a wild ride omg) and i’m supposed to be starting small great things (by jodi) for my english final

who do you miss right now? my friends from 3rd grade, they’re from japan and they came here for like 9 months but then they had to move back :( i haven’t actually seen them in person since march of 2009 which is really crazy but i’ve emailed them this whole time and tbh idk why we don’t like text or anything lol there have been so many technological advancements i should get on that xD

what is on your mouse pad? i don’t use one with my laptop but i have one for my desktop with a happy kitty playing in a field ^-^

what is the last tv program you watched? that episode of the office where dwight sets the fire xD

what is the best sound? i like the sound of like typing keys but not the new or old apple keyboards, like the microsoft ones ? the sound effect they use in commercials when someone’s typing

rolling stones or the beatles? the beatles forever and ever, they’re like almost as big a part of my childhood as the sound of music was

what is the furthest you have ever traveled? china haha

do you have a special talent? not really lol i can move my pinky toe super far from the rest of my toes with both feet though xD

where were you born? xiangyin, hunan, china

that took me way too long lol but okay ummm i’m gonna tag ejay @thriftmom, hanna @copyplier & amy @foureyedvisual (no worries if you don’t wanna!) + anyone who wants to !!

[jeeptime]

Let’s be real, like really real. Your Loving UNCLE JEEP TIM was in Texas recently and he had some experiences.  Some were good, some were bad, some were neutral.  Some involved TAGGING HIS MF’ING NAME UP ON SOME SHIT.

When most people have an experience they dwell on it for some time, really get into their mental thought realm and extract a take-away message.  “Reflect” is the word people use.  I don’t have that luxury, to dwell on something is to forget it.  I have to force the process and try to extract meaning immediately.  My memory is not like a book where you can flip to a certain page and relive a certain experience.  For the most part it’s more like broad abstract brush strokes that really give a feeling or an impression.  I get impressions and feelings about long reaching portions of my life.  When asked to provide examples of something that made me happy or upset, I’m hard pressed to provide a single specific example.  

I could write things down in little notebooks, that I would almost certainly lose.  My handwriting is atrocious so it would be a good protection against people reading my personal thoughts or journals.  However, I have this problem where when i’m writing with a pen I use the force of a thousand suns on the insolent paper and my hand cramps up almost immediately.  Pencils don’t stand a chance as the graphite just shoots off the paper within seconds.  So I’m relegated to this medium.  To put my blog up on a website that I don’t even use, other than to post my blog.  I’m almost positive that none of my friends use this website other than the few who use it solely to view my blog.  So whats the point?  

Uncle Jeep Tim is more than just a blog on an obscure website, he’s a friend, he’s someone you can learn from; whether it be from his failed experiences or maybe some insight that you garner from his meandering rants.  Uncle Jeep Tim is an open book, a look inside a tome of almost no importance.  In a world with ever increasing obscurity in media don’t you want to say you were in on the ground floor of what is sure to be a cult hit, read in the deepest subterranean vaults of the bunker dwelling future.  

Recently I resumed working from home, and I am back with the company I left about a year and a half ago.  I decided that playing with mouse shit and crawling around in attics and basements really wasn’t what I wanted to do with the rest of my life.  We went to Texas for our yearly summit.  The theme of the meetings was “Transparency” and another underlying theme was “the only constant in life is change” and I can get behind those from a business standpoint and a personal one as well.

Now I’m going to make an unpopular statement and then substantiate it.  I work for a company that is truly different, and is truly unique.  There are a million companies out there who think they are re-inventing the wheel, and synergizing, and breaking status quo’s, perhaps even shifting paradigms.  No, my company is different because they are truly trying to enhance their employees lives, and to create an open and positive work environment.  Every company thinks they are filled with zany fuckers who really know how to let loose at happy hour.  Maybe they are, but have you ever taken a shot with your entire company?  Meditated with everyone in your office in the same day that you pulled out raggae airhorns over a microphone during karaoke night.  I made and solidified more friendships in 5 days than I have in the last 5 years.  I was also treated to the most tantalizing of all human offerings, Respect.  

Now normally I would scoff at the prospect of meditating, especially when surrounded by my coworkers.  I would roll my eyes when I heard we were having a work ceremony that takes hours and honors literally every single person I work with.  I definitely wouldn’t want to go out to the bar with the CEO, or play Cards against humanity while he tries to take calls next to me.  However, those were all things I did this last week.  I’ve never been so enthralled, to be a part of an experience in which every person is treated equally and with respect.  

No exaggeration, I’ve had a different job for every year of my life (possibly more as long as you are allowed to count returning to the same job).  I was able to admit this to my boss without fear of repercussion, and to explain that I felt differently about this job and have never been so confident in a decision as I now feel regarding my return.  Am I going to work here until I die or retire?  That is hard to say, as the only constant in life is change, but what I do know is that the friendships and the bonds I have formed are much more likely to stand the test of time.  

I hope you all enjoyed reading this week.  Hopefully it was a refreshing reprieve from the weird bullshit that will most certainly return next time.

WHATS UP WITH THE CATS THIS WEEK?  I’M SHIFTING PARADIGMS.

CePHaLoPoDS MF”ER

Dogs are STILL DOPE THOUGH

BUT WHATS really hot and trending right now is #birds that look twice divorced.

Uncle Jeep Tim OUT

Damn that sun is bright.

[walking-talking-wikipedia]

For the ask thingy: all with a 1 in it

Dear anon, thank you so much and I love you. This will be pretty long and exactly what i need right now

Ask me questions

1. 3 Fears

Insects and Spiders. Please don’t judge. I find them so interesting but I just don’t want these things anywhere near my skin. Thinking of it, it might be a lot because my fear of

Dirt and anything unclean. (Yeah I automatically assume insects are kinda dirty. I don’t know.) Really I would rather not eat in two days because I can’t get myself as clean as I want to before it than. This actually happened, eat guys, please, being forced to eat is no fun and passing out because you didn’t eat in two days is less fun.

Coming to the conclusion I screwed up. I am pretty big on this whole “have your own moral code and don’t mind what others think” thingy and I am afraid as shit to fail what I want myself, what I set as a code for myself. Because if I fail, it’s because of me and nobody else. And I will let myself down, which is a pretty hypocrite and shitty thing.

10. Do I have a crush

Oh yes dear, i have. But I’ve learnt to come to terms with it. Being friends already is so fulfilling and that’s enough, even though everything that’s more would be A+

11. Favourite place

My room. So well-known and protected and cozy. And most of the time I don’t mind my besties place (which is rare since I don’t visit others, like, more than once every two months normally)

12. What am I listening to right now

The calming sound of my typing and my brain screaming at me to write my assignment. Oh, how much I love the calming sound of my typing. Helps to shut other things out.

13. Shoe size

39-41 which equals a 9-10 in the US, depending on how much the designer screwed up the sizes

14. Eye color

Amber. I’ve grown to like it a lot.

15. Hair color

Dark blonde/ light brown, but I’ve already scheduled when I’m finally gonna die it again (green, here I come)

16. Meaning behind my URL

It was a nickname a friend of mine gave me because I always know weird random stuff and well, it just sticks with me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

17. Favourite song

Oh my god. How I hate this question because my 1 most favorite song are 10 at a time. Oh well. I’ll go with Rammstein - Du riechst so gut and Tech N9ne feat. Serj Tankian - Straight out the Gate for now

18. Favourite band

Rammstein and even though it’s not a band, I prefer Serj Tankian’s songs to System of a down, he’s a great interpret.

19. How I feel right now

Very good since I am top motivated, really productive (except for this assignment) and also eager to make people happy and can’t wait for the surprises to take place! Thanks for asking :D

21. My current relationship status

Oh wow. It’s complicated. I’m pretty single but yeah, who knows ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

31. Where am I right now?

Sitting on my bed, wishing for a new mattress, but never having time to get one.

41. Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

Chat all the way. I’m not a fan of calls and prefer meeting personal or just keep it nice and clean where I can copy the chat history to randomly refer to A Thing™ three months later.

51. What was I doing last night at 12 AM?

Searching quotes for my assignment and questioning my life (and work) choices

61. Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?

Yes. It wasn’t romantic. It was pretty awkward with long hair sticking everywhere and I had her hair in my eye and she my hair in her mouth and we were kind of in a hurry so that kinda also shapes the situation?

71. Been in airplane?

Yes and I’m not quite a fan of this whole thing. But I also never have been a traveller

81. Do I like my handwriting?

Oh god no nobody likes my handwriting it looks like a mouse tried to write with its mouth WHILE eating cheese. Most of the time I have trouble reading it.

So… this was a quite long and funny thing, thanks a lot :D