#I think aaron saying there are versions where bolivia is wildly traumatic and version where it's just 'what's done is done' is THE CRUX

[definitionsfading]

#the phrasing of he's not a monster is making me insane right now #he's not a monster he only cut once #he's not a monster he didn't brutally dismember her #(we did that though) #(we're monsters) #also lemon's reaction to tangerine telling him about the arm thing. they're both still disturbed by it #and tangerine takes this guilt and turns it into 'well we succeeded. we're professionals. we can't fuck up again. but we're professionals' #its an interesting coping mechanism #and it also kind of explains why he's so fragile. and why his understanding of himself as a pro is so important to him #while its such a precarious identity for him

[babygirltangerine]

#I think aaron saying there are versions where bolivia is wildly traumatic and version where it's just 'what's done is done' is THE CRUX #of how tangerine actually juggles his coping mechanisms #because it *was* traumatic; you can see the trauma more clearly on lemon's face #but with tangerine it just depends on the day whether he thinks something was traumatic or just business as fucking usual #this is how he justifies what they do for a living to himself #arguably lemon is better at it (it being: killing people for money) but he's less likely to try and justify any of it