#I still don't regret keeping the same job throughout nearly the entirety of university but that's WHY i never got an internship
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
My sperm donor, literally the first chance he gets to see me as soon as he's back: So what's the update on the job hunting? Me:
Me: I am fine and normal
Also me: not getting hired anywhere despite having a degree and I turn 26 next year so I need insurance
Also also me: wildly depressed due to said lack of job hunting success and abusive father's lack of understanding
Also also also me: still stuck living in abusive parent's house, again, due to said lack of full time work
Also also also also me: constantly drowning in tasks beyond work and no longer know how to relax
Also also also also ALSO me: just dodged getting COVID from my mother two weeks ago by fleeing her house, but now my older brother has COVID and there's nowhere for me to go
Also also also also also ALSO ME: All plans to treat myself since abusive father isn't in the country are canceled due to brother's COVID and my potential exposure
ALSO ALSO ALSO ALSO ALSO ALSO ALSO ME: STAYED UP FOR TWO HOURS PAST MIDNIGHT TROUBLESHOOTING WIFI BECAUSE THE ISP SAID THERE WERE NO OUTAGES AND I NEED WIFI TO WORK FROM HOME, ONLY FOR THE ISP TO ANNOUNCE AN OUTAGE ONLY AFTER I CALL MY ABUSIVE PARENT ON VACATION
Me: I AM FINE AND NORMAL I AM FINE AND NORMAL
#if i make it to the end of the year i'll be amazed and maybe even slightly disappointed#dylawa rambles#dylawa rants#delete later#an outsider might see this interaction and think “gee why is asking for updates so bad”#I'd like to preface my points by saying I HAVE a job. It's part time with no benefits but I AM working#I'm not being 'dead weight' (which is a cruel term but whatever)#nevermind he takes half my monthly income for rent even though he SO does not need it#first of all he only ever bugs me about job hunting after asking me out to lunch so now i don't ever want to go anywhere to eat with him#or even worse right before i start work or during so i'm biting back tears for like an hour while making phone calls and leaving messages#it doesn't feel 'nice' it feels like a trap#it's NEVER any other time it's always those two-- either extremely inconvenient or leaving me with nowhere to run#second he thinks that i should just be trying to get an 'entry level' job in my career (animation/graphic design/film)#and when i tried to explain I am and they want 2 years professional experience he talked over me#nevermind the mass layoffs and the fact companies only want people who have already been employed somewhere in the industry anyway#can't get a job because i haven't had an internship; can't get an internship because i'm not in college anymore#I still don't regret keeping the same job throughout nearly the entirety of university but that's WHY i never got an internship#third this man has basically run his own (shitty) company his entire life and doesn't understand the modern struggle of job hunting#he SAID he 'doesn't blame me' for not having anything and I'm 'always welcome here' but I don't believe that for a second#why the fuck else would he be so persistent as to bug me every week or other week#Trust me bitch I want to leave probably more than YOU want me to leave#despite my savings going anywhere without full time work that barely covers half rent with a roommate is stupid#I have gotten THREE interviews in six months (eight or nine if you count the applications I was sending in college)#the next one is tomorrow and it isn't even in fucking animation or even graphic design it's in ACCOUNTING#talking to me about it isn't going to change anything it just makes me feel like a failing piece of shit#but hey fuck me for getting upset right? he's 'just asking' he's 'just trying to help'#so unbelievably out of touch and narcissistic while hiding behind the guise of 'care'#if i'm gone by the end of the year the letter will be all about YOU and how i could never be honest with you#how living with you was basically 24/7 customer service faking a smile and friendliness#and how I loathed you more than anyone or anything on the planet for YEARS before I finally checked out
1 note
·
View note