#I still am drafting that essay haha. it's due this week

[surely-galena]

hi galena! :D I have some things for the fanfic title game, here are some random ideas!

1) You’ve Been Invited for Sugar Honey Iced Tea 2) Bonnets, Bustles, and Belligerent Battles of Birthright (a 19th century au :D) 3) Kiki Bennett: The Perks of Romance by Proxy

have fun with these, & do whatever you want with them! I’m absolutely loving your responses to this game so far, these things are always super fun :o)

Hello worms!! :D

And hmm, had to think a bit for these ones but here are some concepts! Hope you enjoy!

(Also, uh. Get ready to scroll; this post is just over 2K)

You’ve Been Invited for Sugar Honey Iced Tea

I can't help but relate this one to the Sweet Afternoon Tea event. Maybe Vyn wants to formally invite the NXX over for a tea party after finishing the garden lounge. During a tutoring session with Marius, Vyn writes the above title onto some nice cream-colored notecards. Marius gets distracted and looks over to see what Vyn is doing, and promptly bursts out laughing.

VYN: [grumpily] What?

MARIUS: Nothing. :)

VYN: There is something you clearly find amusing.

MARIUS: Maybe. I'll just get back to my essay now. :)

-

[After Marius has finished writing a paragraph]

MARIUS: So is there a short name for the event?

VYN: Short name?

MARIUS: Yeah, I mean 'you've been invited for sugar honey iced tea' is kinda a mouthful, huh? Most long names get narrowed down into acronyms or initialisms.

VYN: Your point is?

MARIUS: [turning back to his essay to hide a grin] I'm just making an observation. That's all.

Anyway, I want Vyn to not figure out what Marius is talking about and send the invites anyway. MC and Artem don't notice a thing; it goes right over their heads, and they're just like, oh tea party? Cool.

But Luke is more observant. I think he's almost always in a code-cracking headspace because he's both a private detective and a secret agent, so he probably reads over the card and instantly joins the accidental dots together.

Which means he now has ammunition and can choose to dunk on Vyn if he so desires.

But Luke, being the well-meaning person he is, probably sends an overly cryptic text to Vyn instead, like, "hey thanks for the invite! did you intend the acronym??" and Vyn is like, "what acronym?"

And I want to make this conversation awkward. As a treat. It's Luke dancing around outright telling Vyn, and Vyn not understanding why Luke is telling him all of this.

Until, of course, it hits him.

But it's too late to back out now. Vyn thinks he's made a fool of himself, a Mockery, an Absolute Disgrace. Everyone isn't going to take his Serious Tea Party seriously any more. Woe is him, etc etc etc.

So it surprises Vyn when Artem and MC come to the party and say nothing because they, as we already know, are truly oblivious. They are here for iced tea and scones and tiny sandwiches and good company and that's it.

ARTEM: You said this was sugar honey iced tea? Why is there sugar and honey in it?

MC: Good question. Unless the honey adds a different flavor?

VYN: ...

And Marius can go dunk on Vyn for his invitations again. For fun.

Anyway, the tea party ends up being fun and wholesome and everyone gets to go home happy. Vyn breathes a sigh of relief that everything went well.

The next week, Marius invites everyone over for Saffron Honey with Interesting Toffee (he also sends a smiley face to Vyn, because he knows exactly what game he is playing here). Artem and MC are so intrigued by the sheer concept of Interesting Toffee. Luke is just in it for the food.

Vyn is completely done and wishes he had never sent those tea party invitations in the first place. Marius is never gonna let him forget about this, is he?

Bonnets, Bustles, and Belligerent Battles of Birthright

I think my immediate thoughts here went to European-coded Vyn or Artem with his Pride & Prejudice connotations. But with the concept of birthright in the picture, the more unexpected character to focus on would be Marius.

Picture this: it's a 19th century themed photoshoot for some top-tier magazine, and Marius is modeling. And maybe the external conflict here is that the company wants a family photo of the von Hagens, excluding Mom of course, but it's much harder to explain why Giann can't make it.

Enter: Artem, Vyn, and Luke.

"These are your friends?" Austin glances over the photos Marius has given to him, one each of Artem, Vyn, and Luke.

"Uh, sure," Marius says.

"The city's star attorney, your tutor, and a private detective," Austin notes. "They look nothing like Giann."

"They don't need to look like Giann," Marius says. "Hear me out, here's what I think we can do..."

Marius' plan: to substitute Giann with one of his fellow NXX team members.

"Maybe we can play it off as a joke," he says. "To avoid public suspicion. Say that Giann sent someone in his place, or was double-booked, or refused to comment at all." And then, with another thought, Marius adds, "Say it was my idea."

"Your idea?" Austin looks down at the photos once again, then passes them back to Marius.

"Yeah," Marius says. Because no one takes him seriously, anyway. Having the joke photos in contrast with a serious article is probably something the public would expect him to do. Plus, any attention directed toward him would distract reporters from suspicions about Giann's absence.

They were all good things. Probably.

Austin briefly considers editing Giann into the photo in post, but since he and Marius both feel iffy about it, they decide to go with the joke photos idea instead.

Here is where the battles of birthright come in: neither Artem, Luke, nor Vyn want to be the fake brother. Maybe it's like a three-way Spider-man meme where they're all standing in the studio and pointing to each other, like, "YOU DO IT!!"

Artem's all, "hey, Vyn was friends with Giann, so he makes the most sense" while Vyn's like, "fair enough, but Artem has the height." And Luke's just standing there like "do I look like Giann?? the correct answer is no, so why am I here again??"

Shenanigans ensue, until eventually things are resolved by using all three of them. Either three separate photos where Artem, Luke, and Vyn each get costumed up and stand in for Giann (to make it clear to the public that this is a joke), maybe with their faces artfully obscured by a hat or something, OR have one photo where Artem, Luke, and Vyn play the von Hagens. Vyn is Austin, Artem is Giann, and Luke is Marius.

If you like pain, you can also insert an optional vulnerable scene where Marius sends the photos to Giann anyway. Even though he knows his brother won't be seeing them anytime soon.

The final twist is that the public eats it up when the magazine article is published, calling the pictures avant garde or inventive or artfully experimental. At the very least, no one is questioning Giann's absence, so that's a win for the von Hagens. Marius puts his face in his hands as MC bursts out laughing at the awkward photos. He's going to owe a lot to Artem, Luke, and Vyn.

Kiki Bennett: The Perks of Romance by Proxy

You know what, I think we're just going to have fun with this last one. Out of the ones you gave me, I had the hardest time thinking of what to do with this title. So I'm going to offer you two concepts because I can't decide. Maybe you'll like one of these better than the other XD

Concept #1

For the first one, we can go ahead and have Kiki as a stand-in for the audience. Maybe this is a five-part fic, where each part explores the dynamic between MC and one of the main boys as Kiki tries to figure out which one is her favorite ship. Also, Celestine can be there to bounce off of.

And I think this fic would also have the potential for a lot of meta jokes and fourth wall breaks? Especially as Kiki and Celestine go back and forth between the expected tropes they think they'll be in for, versus the subversion of these tropes. It's probably harder to pull off in practice than conceptually, but I'll just have fun with the fake summary anyway :D

As ToT itself opens with Artem (excluding prologue and app icon because those are both Luke, haha), we'll also start with him.

"Do you think they like each other?" Kiki asks. "Like, like like?"

Celestine shrugs. "All I know is that Artem..." she stops herself and shakes her head, smiling. "I think the pieces might be there."

-

"Maybe he's like, the scary guy with a heart of gold," Kiki muses.

Celestine's eyes glimmer with laughter. "Okay, I'm going to tell him you said that."

"What? No!"

Here, we can maybe cut between completely innocent scenes of Artem and MC talking in public spaces around the law firm.

We can keep going with similar scenes, but with Luke, Vyn, and Marius as they individually drop by the law firm to visit MC or pick her up after work.

"Enemies to lovers," Kiki declares. "Or, well, maybe just enemies to friends."

"What?" Marius turns around to face Kiki, looking very much like a wet cat. "Missy and I? Just friends?"

"Has she said otherwise?" Celestine says, and the look that Marius gives her makes him seem much more like a kicked wet cat.

The last part, I think, can probably cover MC. Maybe Kiki finally gets to sit down and chat with MC. She does ask about her love life out of curiosity, but MC is just so vague that it's impossible to determine if she's dating one of the four guys, or even any of them at all. Kiki is confused, MC is oblivious, and Celestine is having the time of her life trying not to burst out laughing.

Resigned to not having any confirmation, Kiki gives up on figuring out MC's love life entirely and lets her be.

That is, until the flowers come in one day. When the delivery man tells her that they're for MC, questions flare up within Kiki. She takes them up to MC, and it's only then when she accidentally catches the name on the tag. Maybe she'll finally figure out if MC is into anyone??

But no. Not today, at the very least.

Because the flowers are from DAVIS.

Concept #2

Now my second idea is to make Kiki the host... of a quiz show. It's crack/comedy, and almost none of it is going to be taken seriously.

The competition is centered around MC, and the contestants have to answer questions based on her likes, interests, personality, etc. Maybe the winner gets to take MC out to a meal? Something like that where it doesn't necessarily have to be taken romantically, but just time spent getting to know each other.

Now I want the contestants to be the four main love interests... and Zangr.

Artem, Luke, Marius, and Vyn are appalled that Zangr is even here at all. How did he get here? Why is he competing? What are his motivations??

MC gets to sit in a corner and watch, like :D

As Kiki asks the boys questions (with the general "hands on your buzzer" quiz show type comments), and everyone starts gaining points, tensions begin to rise. Luke predictably scores highest in the childhood category, but from that point on it's a free for all for everyone.

And I want Zangr to win, shockingly and inexplicably. Possibly due to his fourth wall breaking powers or something.

This is horrifying to the rest of the competitors, while MC is surprised, like oh? lunch with Zangr?

But Zangr disregards the whole part about winning and just walks up to the front (where Kiki is) to give a speech to the camera about being an NPC.

"YOU!!" He points at Kiki. "Are you tired of being a side character as well?"

Question marks go off above everyone's heads, Kiki is forced to bid the audience goodnight so the credits can start rolling, and no one gets to take MC out to a meal!

Then, maybe we can cut to a non-show-related post-credits scene where everyone's either in a fast food restaurant or a fine dining restaurant, whichever one is funnier. They're all exhausted from the quiz show and dealing with Zangr, and it plays out very much like the shawarma scene from The Avengers (2012). So I guess everyone gets to take MC out to a meal? We linger there for a moment, then cut the cameras and the fic ends.

Thank you for the titles!! :D

[soranihimawari]

Hi Scores & Taiyaki

Hi Scores & Taiyaki

Welcome back to part 3 of the Kuroo x 1st person fic. This will be the last installment for now unless I decide to use Social Dummy again to continue the character’s relationship. But first things first, thanks for reading this and major shoutouts to @vbcshenaningansnwritings​ for reblogging my stories & @kaidasen​ for encouraging me to post these drabbles/drafts/fics. ::hugs to you::

Taglist: still open

The weeklong camp had come to an end before it had begun. I had a lot of fun hanging out with the girls during the end of camp barbecue. There were a few instances where I had to chase after Bokuto to remind him to not steal so much food from the different grills, but he just laughed it off before running away with a plate full of food for Akaashi. Kuroo on the other hand, was busy keeping track of his protoges, Kenma and Tsukishima (another tall middle blocker from Karasuno) by also doing the same thing. There was a moment before the visiting teams started to pack their belongings where Kenma tugged on my sleeve to pull me aside causing my conversation with the female managers to be cut short. (We had already traded contact info during the many nights we stayed up exchanging stories of their teams antics, so we all decided to text each other later).

“Everything ok Kenma?” I asked when we stopped walking. There was a safe distance between the side of the building where we stood and the other members of the teams.

“Kuroo seems to really like you,” he said in a low tone. I nodded as I kicked the invisible pile of dust on the concrete floor. His console was tucked away in his track jacket pocket, but he continued to play a different game on his phone.

“I have a feeling that I already know,” I replied with a smirk.

“Good. Because I couldn’t get him to shut up about you after you helped Lev out the other day.”

A chortle escaped my lips, “I see. Well, if that’s all you wanted to tell me, then I guess we could head back. C’mon, Karasuno is about to leave now too. Let’s say bye to Shoyo & Tsukki.”

It seemed as though everyone had begun saying their farewells by the time we returned.

***

Summer vacation quickly ended for me as soon as it had begun. Classes were starting again the following day, so naturally by the time I had arrived back home, I greeted my parents before calling my close friend, Riza.

“Kenma confirmed to me that Kuroo does like me and we may or may not have spent more time alone after lights out,” I explained collapsing on my mattress.

“Oh ho ho,” Riza chuckled on her end of the line. “So, the tom cat finally came around to liking you? That’s terrific. All of his fans are going to be heart broken when you guys go out on your date next Saturday.”

“I know. I am not looking forward to receiving those glares from his exes though.”

“Meh, you’ll be fine. They were the ones who let him go with the exception of Angela though. Those two always fought, but I am glad you two never really fought. Well, maybe except in trig when you both arrived at different limit answers, haha.”

“Of course you’d remember how well he took being wrong, Riz.”

“Mmhm. I gotta back my friend up whenever he assumes he is the smartest in the room. Anyways, I’m gonna go prepare for bed. See you in class tomorrow.”

“Okidokie. Meet at the convenience store at seven?”

“I’ll be there. Later Kat.”

***

The days seemed to have blurred together, but with both Kuroo and I heavily invested in our separate clubs outside of school hours, we barely had any time to discuss finalizing our plans for our arcade date. On Friday night before our date, I received a call from him. He seemed a bit stressed out, more so than usual, but that was to be expected since the team had a qualifying match scheduled in a few days time.

“Coach is making us have an extra practice on Wednesday and that’s when this chem lab is due. There’s also this make up test I have to do for history and I’m falling behind in trig since I can’t really find the time for homework. Kat, I don’t know what to do.” 

I was seated at my desk in front of my computer screen in the middle of typing an essay for English class. It was a three to five page paper discussing the themes of Westernized fairy tales which I stopped writing because clearly, Kuroo needed someone to snap him back into focus.

“Take a deep breath first,” I heard him inhale and upon his exhale, I continued. “Good. Now, listen to me carefully Tetsuro: meet me in the library after class on Monday. Bring all your materials for the classes you fell behind on. I’ll make copy of my notes and bring a pen to correct your mistakes on the trig quizzes since you got an 80% last time.”

“Our second date is a study date, huh?”

I chuckled. “It can be. Let’s survive the first one, yeah? The forecast called for rain tomorrow afternoon, so hopefully we won’t get caught in it on the way back.”

***

I arrived first to the arcade around 17:50. I was dressed in the best casual attire I could think of: navy wide leg pants, a white dress shirt paired underneath with a lemon yellow camisole. My shoes were black rain boots and my hair was left down. Kuroo came a few minutes later dressed in an all black street ensemble attire that made me think I was a bit out of his league (more so than before).

“You did not have to come here looking like an idol star,” I teased when he reached out to hold my hand.

“And you didn’t have to either,” he said with a smile. “Let’s go inside to play Street Fighter II again, yeah?” I nodded.

A few hours passed us by as we kept reloading the game cards playing different arcade games ranging from fighting games, TETRIS, and music games (like JuBEAT FESTO). Kuroo’s cat like smile made me more competitive when he failed the last song of JuBeat.

“Move aside, lemme see if I can beat your score sir,” I mused. I swiped my card and selected my first song and the speed. The tiles began to glow with the first few notes coming from the machine. There were a lot of encouraging words coming through the screen: “Combo!” “Perfect” “100 note streak!”

“By the time my round ended, the title card illuminated with a new hi-score slot waiting for my initials to be put in.

“If I wanted to date Kenma, I would have just taken him here,” Kuroo muttered under his breath. “Well, you win. I bow down to you, Kat-chan. Queen of JuBEAT FESTO.”

“You don’t have to, but maybe we should go? It’s almost 20:30 and I don’t want to stay out too late. Let’s go grab a bite to eat, yeah?”

There were a few food cart vendors located down the street from the arcade. Their carts were lined up against the entrance way of an old park where there once was a sunflower field. Years of urbanization caused the flowers to no longer be planted, but in their stead, a field of peonies were grown. I took a seat on one of the benches facing the flowers. A warm smile graced my lips as I leaned down to pluck one off the field. 

“Such a pretty flower for a pretty date,” Kuroo’s voice made me yelp in surprise. He cackled as he extended one of the taiyaki he bought toward me. “Here, I got you a taiyaki.” I took one of the fish shaped pastries an thanked him. We raised our fishes to each other and began to munch on them; we sat there for about half an hour making the time pass by playing a question game with each other. 

“Your turn,” I reminded Kuroo with a nudge of my elbow. “Ask me anything you like.”

“Alright,” Kuroo replied. “Hmm...I got it! Kat, how many dates do we have to go on before I ask you to be my girlfriend?”

I leaned forward and folded my arms over my thighs, a hum drawn out into the air. I made direct eye contact with the peonies, the one I plucked remained on the bench. He had a puzzled emotion worn on his face.

“As many as it takes for me to believe you actually like me. Kuroo,” I swallowed thickly. “You’re someone who would break up with a girl over the fact that they bore you or that they didn’t understand your commitment to your team as captain. It’s going to take some time for me to believe your emotions toward me are genuine. Sure, we had fun at training camp, but I need you think this through. Are you sure you want to be with me?”

At this point, Kuroo stood up and immediately crouched down in front of me. The summer breeze made his hair dance in the wind along with the blooms behind him. 

“I’m sure,” he replied. A hand of his combed a few pieces of my hair behind my ear; he grabbed the plucked peony blossom and placed it behind my exposed ear. “See? You do look more glamorous with it in your hair. C’mon, I suppose it’s time for me to walk you home.”

He pulled me up off the bench and placed a light kiss atop the crown of my head. 

We arrived at the fork in the sidewalk where we would have originally had split up before, but instead Kuroo escorted me to the front courtyard of my apartment complex building. He held my hand the entire walk over, telling me more stories of his childhood with Kenma up until the time Kenma turned twelve and they  climbed a tree to rescue a kitten. 

“And that’s how Kenma had his first pet,” Kuroo said, a triumphant smile over his face.

“So it seems,” I replied, a shortened giggle fell out of my mouth. He raised my hand to his lips, thanking me for a wonderful outing. His thumb traced over my knuckles lightly. I removed the flower from behind my ear before offering it to him. He pushed it back toward me before he tilted my chin up to meet his gaze.

“Keep it, sweetheart,” his voice told me. He leaned down again and kissed me, slowly to quiet my irrational fears of not being wanted by him. One kiss was all it took for both of us to come to terms with our outlook on each other. My eyes fluttered open, my hand still wrapped around the peony’s stem. He kissed my cheek when I wasn’t looking directly at him.

“Go on upstairs. I’ll leave after you go,” he told me in an hazy tone. He squeezed my hand gently. 

“Thank you for today,” I began as I turned around to open the door of the lobby. “See ya at school next week.”

***

About a month and half after our first date, Kuroo and I found ourselves curled up on the couch in his living room with a Ghibli film playing in the background. His arm was resting comfortably against my waist, drawing small circles on my skin. I turned my eyes away from the tv to look up at him before I decided I was done watching the film. I committed the minute details of his face to memory. 

He cocked his head to the side with a curious brow lifted toward me right up until the moment I initiated a kiss. Kuroo did not object to this sign of affection pouring from me. His hand moved away from my waist to my back, then I felt his arms loop behind me to pull me over his lap. I found myself wrapping my legs around his waist as my hands made their way on to the fabric of his shirt prior to me holding on to it for balance as he began to work on deepening our kiss. I found myself smiling into every kiss he gave me, stealing every ounce of air he had inside his lungs. He rested his head against the crook of my neck, his breathing uneven. 

“Three years of wondering what it would feel like to have you alone like this,” his voice reverberated gently against my skin causing a blush to dance across my face. Slowly, I felt his lips imprint open mouthed kisses up the side of my neck. He was gentle with me at first, much like the first person to kiss me like this. My breath was caught in my throat and it seemed he didn’t care as a whimper escaped my lips in anticipation not knowing where his lips were headed to next. Damn this boy, my inner thoughts cursed at him.

Each kiss gained momentum the closer his lips grazed against my own. In the past couple of dates that we had had, I mentioned off hand to Kuroo that if he were to kiss my neck, even playfully, I’d crumble beneath his touch. Smooth ass mother fucker, I thought. 

“Shh...” I hushed him within a few seconds when I felt his one of his hands disappear under the back of my shirt and the other stabilized the back of my neck. I’d like to think he counted how many layers of clothing there was between us, but his coarse hands roamed my body curious to know how soft my skin was.  

He pushed me forward, causing me to crash on to his demanding lips again; his hands were wrapped around my waist and mine laced lightly around the back of his neck, giving me more support to push myself into him more. His mouth was compressed against mine, yet this kiss remained as light as we had intended it to be. We sat like this for a few moments before our lips began to move rhythmically over the other, the pace being set by him.

I exhaled through my nose, not wanting to let go of him. There was an overwhelming feeling of mutual relief toward each other finally seeing what we could be. Relief raced out of hearts for a moment only to be replaced with this sense of combined eccentric panic, and lust. More, I thought. I need more of this kind of physical affection.

Kuroo’s hand on the small of my back travelled higher in an attempt to pull my shirt over my head, to which I shook my head in agreement.

“It’s too hot,” I said, lifting the fabric over my head and tossing it to the side. Kuroo’s eyed my exposed top half through running his hands up my sides. My chest rose and fell with every touch his grazed my skin.

“I concur,” he said. I shrugged before I leaned down, hands pressing his shoulders back on to the back of the couch. From there, I began my barrage of open mouthed kisses down his neck, leaving bite marks behind his ear. Hearing him hiss an exasperated sigh when he pulled me toward him causing me to stop.

My hair hung over my shoulders as Kuroo tilted his head up again to press his forehead against mine. He and I exchanged a few words making sure the other was doing ok; most of our replies were done in a hummed tone of the “yes,” variety.

Our heart rates needed to return to a normal pace prior to us continuing where we had left off. Kuroo’s playful shine in his eyes and smirk told me everything I wanted to know. I caressed his cheek when I pulled away, the inside of my palm warm from his flushed face. 

“Kat,” he breathed my name so effortlessly it caused me to stop stroking the side of his face.

“Hmm?” my vocal chords vibrates at the sound of my name. “What is it?”

Suddenly, I took note of how Kuroo’s eyes were trying to refocus themselves on my face; pupils dilated meaning he felt the rush of serotonin enter his system. He shifted his weight underneath me and whispered something along the lines of “you’re staying over tonight,” in my ear to which I nodded. I didn’t have time to wait since I felt him stand up with his hands under my thighs.

“W-woah!” I said, stifling a laugh when I moved my arms around his neck for balance. “Where are you taking me?” As if I didn’t already know the answer. I arched my eyebrow up at him with a teasing expression.

“My room,” Kuroo answered, his eyes crinkled with a smile. “To continue where we left off kitten.”

[loxxxlay]

Official note about Dark Thor Grandthorki fic and Semi-Hiatus

The Situation My Dumb Ambitious Ass Has Landed Itself In

Unfortunately, my big bang date has arrived a lot quicker than I expected it to. >.> On Friday, I’m expected to post the fic I’ve been working on since June. Don’t get me wrong, I have very much been working on it this whole time; unfortunately, I have also been doing quite a lot of exhausting things, including treatment for mental health and college classes. I’m suffocating in the stress of my last semester, which isn’t great for fanfic writing. T_T woe is meeee~

Because of ^, my dark-Thor grandthorki fic (god it needs a title too, huh) is incomplete and, no matter what, will not be completed by Friday (especially considering that all but one of my classes has something due this Friday, too, ugh). Luckily I did sign up for a solo track for big bang so no artist has been ill-used! Unluckily I have robbed some actually prepared & hard-working individual of a very lenient&late posting date. T_T Thus, I want to at least post something on Friday because it would be super inconsiderate and irresponsible of me otherwise, no matter how unprepared I am D:

So, here is what I have decided for my Big Bang/Dark Thor Grandthorki fic:

I am going to post the beginning chunk (about 10-15k words) of the fic! It will be posted as a WIP but as the spirit of the big bang is only to post a completed fic, the part I post will not end on any rudely patience-challenging cliffhanger.  (Those who are still waiting for OoT and Figment of Choice to be complete, I am so so sorry lmfao, and this will not be anything like those cliffhangers.) In fact, I’m trying to make this chunk end on a note that is as complete as possible, while still being a WIP.

As for the quality of this beginning chunk... sigh... It’s definitely not my best writing ever since the only times I could work on it were unfortunately times where my writing skill was rusty and atrophied. >.> However, it’s definitely not my worst writing either lmao, so hopefully it will still be enjoyable! @veliseraptor will be betaing the part most recent and most clunky (I didn’t ask her to beta all of it because that would be super unfair in such a short time frame lmao), and until Friday I will be doing my best to polish the rest!

However! As the entire fic isn’t quite written/outlined, I’m nervous about posting this beginning chunk because of how future writing might require changes to be made. Therefore, the part I post is potentially gonna be subject to extreme changes once I start working on it again months from now. In other words, after I graduate, I’m gonna edit it, possibly change things that happen in it, depending on future scenes, and hopefully do it better justice.

Why am I telling you all of this?

Well, because I don’t want y'all to read this Dark Thor Grandthorki fic with high expectations! T____T I know a lot of you have been super excited and eager to read it after all the excerpts I’ve shown you and all the meta I’ve posted about it. I remember receiving a ton of asks about it back in the pique of me working on it. And.. like.. I know I say this a lot, but I genuinely mean it this time: This is not going to be my usual expected brand of (allegedly) good fic. This is gonna be at least a little disappointing. This is not to criticize myself. It’s just a fact based on how I’ve been writing it and how little I can edit it right now.

And I’m honestly super sad because this project has been so so so important and fun for me that I don’t want you to go in without knowing that it won’t be as good as I want it to be.

In fact, my biggest reason for telling you all this is to give everyone an OPTION to actually NOT read it on Friday. If you want to see it in its final form and its final form only, you can instead wait until I’ve actually had a chance to complete the entire fic, edit what needs editing, get it beta-ed, and feel prepared enough to stick to a regular posting schedule. Obviously I don’t care one way or another when you choose to read it--have at it if you don’t care about it being sub-par! ^_^ I just want you all to know where I’m coming from and be able to decide one way or another. So yeah. Feel free to decide whether you want to read the shittier version on Friday or whether you wanna save yourself for the less shitty version later!

Semi-Hiatus Info:

Initial Note: I’m not really going on any kind of hiatus. I’m changing nothing about what I’m doing recently. I’m just... officially acknowledging that I’ve got one foot in fandom right now and one foot out. And that it will continue to be like this until I graduate in December.

And sighhh, I know I say “ohhhh I will be so much more free and able to work on fandom stuff when this date arrives” again and again and again and nothing ever changes lmfao. But when I say I’ll be more free to work on stuff after December, I actually mean it lmfao because that is when I’ll be graduated from college. I’ve never been graduated from college my entire time in fandom, so you can trust that I’m not kidding around this time.

So yeah, in light of my recent silences/etc, please don’t think I’m disappearing. T_T I’m just really stressed and ... even though I try to lie to myself about it ... realistically ... it’s just not possible for me to do all the fandom stuff that I want to be doing right now. :( Especially as this final semester starts ramping up and finals week starts approaching. :/

Obviously, I’ll still be busy after I graduate. I’ll be looking for full-time work and be starting the process of moving out (I’m super excited!) But the mental energy I’ll need for writing won’t be used up by essays and papers and original creative writing classes! (Assuming I get a seat-warming job, crosses fingers lol.) So basically I’m just letting you all know that, despite my behavior, I haven’t forgotten anything! I just really don’t have time (yet).

For sake of knowing when you can expect things, here’s a list of the things I want to work on (starting December) in order of importance:

(honestly this is as much for my reference as yours lmao)

Commenting and reblogging this year’s Grandthorki Day fics! Very top priority, and if I get a free two seconds in my life, I’ll try to do some of this before semester ends too

Putting Grandthorki Rimworld streams into shorter view-able highlights instead of the full-streaming chunks that they currently are in (especially that 3-hour unwatchable one)

Finishing OoT

Commenting on the rest of the grandthorki fics that have been neglected in recent months

Finishing Moment of Peace

Finishing Figment of Choice

Completing the Big Bang/Dark Thor Grandthorki Fic

Going through my drafts to answer all the asks and recommend all the fic I’ve put there

Finishing that Whumptober Collection and/or Re-Doing Whumptober (because lets be real by the time all of this is done, it will probably be October haha)

Updating Happily Ever After

If I’m forgetting anything that you guys really have been wanting me to do, please let me know!

[studsforstudying]

30 March 2021

It stormed like crazy last night. The thunder was whack, it sounded like soemthing out of a movie. The thunder LITERALLY CLAPPED.

Anyway I’ve got an assignment due tomorrow. I’m thankful that I’ve got a main draft done. Ideally, I’d like to get another draft out for fine-tuning. I also need to fix up the small things that actually take a long time like formatting and references. And the proofreading! Ugh- the proofreading. 

I’m grateful that I’ve got the time and space to take my own sweet time with this one... I think when I was last in uni, it used to be so crazy. Like, they would pile 3 or 4 assignment submission deadlines in the span of 3 weeks, which would really mess me up. I mean, I’m not a model student. Even now I still have issues with prioritising and actioning items. I like to think that I’m a bit better now. Or at least that I can recognize the fact that about 60% of the time, I am actually not drowning / messing up. The other 40% still needs a bit of tweaking. But all in good time, with micro habits. Hopefully, hopefully.

Old habits do die hard though. 

- Found myself stretching out on the bed, readin a book, eating skittles, going on tumblr, distracting, distracting. I should write myself a task list of things to do when I wanna be distracted so that at least I can get important non-school shit done.

- I’ve kind of neglected one week of readings and lectures and seminars. Tbh, I’m sort of on the fence and leaning more toward not listening to lectures. Simply because how my uni has done things is that they have these interactive modules where they give mini lectures. So the real lecture is like, a double dose. An overlap. And I’m realizing that I have 24 hours in a day. Anyway still stewing on that.

Easter break is next week though, so... I might take a couple days off. But I’m definitely going to need to study a little. Not that I really mind. Haha. Essays make me realize how meditative learning content can be. 

[boredompaw]

Day 8

The long awaited beginning of remote learning, phase three began today. There plan was to awake at seven this morning, so I'd have an hour to consume breakfast, but alas, I slept through my alarm. Finally coming top my senses around 7:40, I hurried to eat, and I changed my top out of pajamas, just in case I wanted to turn on my camera function. That wasn't the case. My first class, chemistry honors, was short abs slightly confusing. I still remembered the concepts, but they were rather hazy in my mind. It didn't help that there wasn't much review of thermo chem before we hopped into the lesson, but I suppose it's expected that we self prepare, being honors students. The rest of my classes were easier, and as a bonus, they passed rather quickly. The only downside being that all the teachers assigned the week's homework in one sitting, leaving it up to us to divvy up. While I like the freedom it gives me, I also am slightly anticipatory over how I will be able to manage my own time. It's a good skill to learn, though so I will work through it with zeal. During the two hour lunch break, I decided to play Sky, and managed to recruit one of my friends to play with me, improving the game experience substantially. Most of my time during 2nd and 3rd period, world history and english 2 honors, respectively, was spent surfing tumblr, pinterest, and instagram. While I was listening to the teachers' droning, I couldn't stop myself from looking at fandom material. I don't fangirl often, but when I do, it tends to be all out. 

Most recently, the fandom happens to be The Raven Cycle/The Dreamer Trilogy. After class, I forced myself to go run for around five miles, although I chose the most miserable time to go. 2:15 ish was peak temperature, but I somehow managed to convince myself it would pay off, because during XC season, we ALWAYS run and train during peak temperature. Anywho, it was not fun, especially because I chose a route that went up a big ass hill, and I drank too much water before my run. Also, wearing new running shoes is tricky, because I don't have my old laces tied and set. The shoes have to be broken in to sometime, though, and it is better soon than later. When I arrived back at home, my mother was rather irritated that i had gone running when it was so sunny, saying I'd get super dark, and my face would get patchy. She didn't ket me shower until 20 minutes later, which I spent in miserable sweaty purgatory, wanting to cool off, but moving means sweating more... I did get to take a nice cool shower, eventually, much to my relief. After this, I chose to begin the homework grind, with the goal of finishing chem and math, but it was not fated to be. I still have half of my week's chem homework, a lab simulation, all of math homework-- due on THURSDAY, world history notes and a project, due on Friday, an english essay rough draft for the STAR, and more to pile on from tomorrow as well. Somehow, it seems more hectic without school than with, and it's just convinced me more that school, in person and physical, is a way better alternative than any "self motivated" options, specifically for me. I should probably go to sleep... I want to get more hours of sleep like a non school day... haha.

[disarmingly]

fanfic asks (part 1 is here! feel free to send the other numbers tho at this point i lost track im sorry lmfdslfjdskfdskfdlsjl)

2 [ things that motivate you ]

i think this is likely true of most people who make things for public consumption and that's honestly…when people respond to something we make? whether it's a comment or the notes on your bookmark or a message or an ask or a dm on twitter or anything just saying 'hey i read this i liked it' or something in the same vein (more or less a nice thing is a nice thing!) i touched on this with the last set in number 27's answer on the last set.... where i refer to kindnesses as a currency. to be clearer, i write fic to explore ideas for personalities i am already in love with whether characters from an era or canon images or, more likely, a hybridization of the two (plus extrapolations) and also stories/theories that appeal to me but also MEAN a lot to me and in doing so i hope will mean something to others. i write it to connect (i am a broken record but it's what it is isn't it ^^) and sort of see if the way that i think and process can in fact be translated to other people. to see that it can, here and there, is immeasurably important to me. 

i have always wanted to be one of those people who can self-motivate but i find more and more that the truth is i very much look to other peoples' approval and responses, and perhaps that will always be the case, which i suppose means i have to just keep working harder and honing the art as best i can -- give or take. i hold comments close, asks, messages, all of that. i screencap them because i'm afraid the eternal internet will fail me ^^;;; and sometimes people remove t hei r bookmarks or whatnot so like…um i'm glad i screencapped them ^^;;; and there was one twitter convo where the nice thing they said was so far back i couldn't see it anymore ;_; so lol i'm glad i screencapped that too….a-and now u all know i am crazy T////T hahikesduiojklefdsiojk OTL s-seriously though. have i said before i think sometimes people have a natural baseline? i said it in 'below zero' but outside of that i mean…so a good thing a tangible thing when i am below zero (often) ends up being…many things to me. i'm grateful even if i fail to fully harness people's generosity to the extent i ought to.

5 [ since how long do you write? ]

mmm…since i stopped drawing entirely so like hum… /squints/ /rubs chin/ /rubs head/ ahhh like i guess i really started wholly focusing and shifted from visual to verbal in my last year of middle school! ^^;;/ but i wrote fiction primarily at the time because i had a dream of writing a book that would stay with people the way my favorite books have stayed with me. weirdly i am only now able to write narrative for fanfic and otherwise all my original writing is poetry…which is significantly less relatable for people and has such an unforgiving set of standards that i mostly have lost hope for making my way in that area, though i still produce material.

9 [ do you set yourself deadlines? ]

mmm not hard deadlines. i can't trick myself that way per se. but i can trick myself by being like mini deadlines so a paragraph a morning or something of that ilk? i'm very flow-by-flow so hard deadlines are just lolololololol however, i do have friends who work very well within the stricter parameters of a due date; basically your mileage may vary, but for me it works best to say: try to have something complete by the end of a 30 day period, and then to adjust along the way i.e. i clearly won't have this done by 30 days at least get the first draft done. etc. OTL i'm so wishy washy ;_;

36 [ one-shot or multi-chaptered story? ]

NERVOUS LAUGHTER RUBS MY EYES uiojrlekfsdiok i do better when i do one-shots i am like shudders at my multi-chapter ideas but fall down lightly began more as a vignette series and oops got a narrative in real time my MISTAKE because i know everything that happens but have basically made myself so nervous about it i've been staring at the next real chapter for five thousand years. it just doesn't seem good enough ;_; lololol so for the sake of not releasing something that is a waste of time for other people to look at i….haven't. it's a verse i love and i want to complete because I KNOW HOW IT ENDS LMFALKFJD and even what happens along the way but like lololol /stares at my hands unhappily/ ljldskjfs ah well anyway though one-shot i do trust myself more with. because when it's done/posted? it's done. barring revisions ^^;; (and typos T_T;;;)

39 [ do you want to be published some day? ]

the dream ;_; ah. i don't delude myself thinking i could ever make money doing what is most important to me…poetry is not largely a money making facet of the writing industry and even the ones that are real jobs aren't very um…whatchacallit um……huh….productive money wise? not that that should be my focus but i always dreamt if i made a lot of money i could give people lots of things and stuff…which…i always wanted to do… 

._.;;; i digress. but like to get poetry published would be nice. to be accepted a little in that way would be nice. but even honestly if i started releasing it online and people liked it that would be enough for me at this point. i had a teacher who once said to me: your real strength lies in essay writing, you should change your track. and it has been hurting me ever since haha. i don't like writing essays. i HATE it. same goes for journalism. all of which i avoided despite being told 'it's what you're good at'….i …is it weird to say poetry is what i love even if i don't love my own writing? i want my writing to be better and i'll try to keep doing it regardless but that really…ah it's funny how one thing can be a shadow isn't it? long answer OTL I apologize ;_; but like…so yes. i would love it. it feels impossible but … it would be….it would be nice.

42 [ do you plan or do you write whatever comes to your mind? ]

i do both. it depends on the story. sometimes it is literally both for one story and sometimes i run out the gate with the exactitudes and it is what i think it will be (mostly). save me was a combination. follow was precisely as i planned it and so was sidereal. fall down lightly i know the exacts of what happens but not how i want to convey them so there's that. this time around i knew exactly. time and again i had all down in notes so i do know what happens but again not how i verbalize. call and answer was PAINSTAKINGLY planned help me lmdlskfdsj…..as was so far away. dearly beloved was a moment, begin was inspired and stream of consciousness -- as was one thing and balancing act. ;; i'm not very one or the other i suppose…. T////T

44 [ do you write linear or do you write future scenes if you feel like it? ]

like 42 i am both. it depends. i wrote save me as you read it but i literally hop around time within it so i'm not sure if question means that or if i write it all out linearly first??? in which case no??? but only because weirdly if i plan to hop around in time for a story it's best if i do so in real-time as i write it or i lose the rhythm i wanted to actualize for the story's feeling and resolution/end-point. i have notes all of the time too about things i haven't paragraphed out so like…if that is part of the answer….

47 [ how many unfinished ideas/stories are you working on at the same time? ]

o_o;;;; w-well my drafts folder is divided into two parts -- one is complete drafts that need looking at again and one is unfinished works entirely, if you want the final headcount of both it's lolololol

71

rest in pieces me….

._. nowaskmehowmanyaresugakookie lmfdslkjfs no don't. mostofthem. andsomenamkook. lolololol…….helpme…

as with the first asks, thank you for reading. thanks for talking to me and taking an interest. i feel boring and anxious and very sporadic and like too weird/???? like really awkward lame???? but i do like talking about writing...even if i feel...also rambling rambling rambling.....granted these were shorter bc i wanted to do them before i had to run ^^;;;  if any of them need elaboration i can be clearer!!! a-anyway /shoves paper bag over my own head/ …./w-waves gratefully as scurries to the train!!!!…..

also gosh i might've taken too long but …butterfly anon….your message…has been helping me survive this week…ah…i replied longer to your message in a previous post but like.../mentions again…. T_T;;; it's been really….hard…haha…so thank you t_t