#I started listening to it in 2008 already

[dateppe]

👑

Hi. Yeah. It’s been a while.

I’m pretty sure that most of my followers on this blog aren’t around anymore and for now I’m not really planning to bring this one back even though it’s my main. It pretty much shows my development over the past ten years and sides I’m not too proud of, but we’ll see what I end up using again.

For the K-pop side you can follow mins-ngie, I’ll try to keep it separate. Maybe.

Things are confusing and I still hope that Twitter survives this idiot, because as a news source it’s not really replacable. But for now, welcome on here 💗

[corneille-moisie]

is there an influx of new vk fans or am i just noticing them more than i used to ? 🤔

[toolusingmammalgirl]

Disconnected Thoughts on Art Reproduction:

Hokusai's Great Wave fascinates me because, unlike almost every other artwork in that bracket of fame, it was never a bespoke piece that was only later reproduced. It was a commercial print right from the start, and while versions of it can be identified as belonging to different print runs, there is no meaningful 'original' aside from the long-since-discarded printing plates.

Even better, this state has been imposed on artworks that were once unique. In 2021, the art collective MSCHF bought an Andy Warhol sketch at auction for $20,000, made 999 meticulous forgeries of it, shuffled them to destroy any record of which was the original, and sold each piece for $250 as Possibly Real Copy of 'Fairies' by Andy Warhol, by MSCHF.

As with many smartass art collectives, MSCHF's projects range from eye-rolling to kinda clever to brilliant, but I think this is their magnum opus. It has exactly the kind of unwieldy literal title I adore. The original work has been arguably destroyed, but in a way that Warhol would applaud. It's the most pointed way to ask art buyers, do you care about the actual artistry of the work or just the bragging rights of owning the original?

---

Artistic domains where reproduction is trivial are often prone to the Superstar Problem: Why would I listen to the world's 50th-best cellist when I can stream all the Yo-Yo Ma I want just as easily? NFTs were pitched as a solution to this, marking the original or master copy of a natively-digital work to let it retain value. But even if the crypto market didn't have its own 2008 every few weeks, I don't want fine-art auction houses to be the future of digital art, especially when there are already plenty of existing ways to mitigate the problem. A fursona, a tabletop-game character, a niche Blorbo, etc. are all bespoke value-adds that enable a much greater range of artists to get commissions. But these require a culture of art fans who don't care about flipping it at Christie's, often overlapping with fannish cultures where plenty of artists operate at all experience levels.

I don't have any tidy conclusions for this, but I just want to say that an earlier version of this process - "paint me a biblical scene, and put me in it to flex my wealth and piety" - culminated in one of the funniest artworks I've ever seen, Francisco de Zurbarán's Christ Crucified (With Donor):

[qqueenofhades]

I don't know why I thought it was a good idea to argue with people about the worthlessness of voting third party. They just keep insisting that the influence is worth it, and that I was a coward for daring to suggest that we don't HAVE any other options than Democratic. I even cited how voting third party likely played a part in Al Gore losing ffs.

There's no "likely" about it, Ralph Nader DID directly cost Gore the election. He ran explicitly on the same "both parties are the same, so leftists/liberals should vote for me instead" rhetoric that we are still seeing among the Online Left, and it was successful: he got, for example, over 97,000 votes in Florida. Bush won Florida (and thus the presidency) by a miniscule 537 votes, after the fuckery of Bush v. Gore and SCOTUS ordering the recount stopped in Bush's favor. If the tiniest percentage of those Nader voters had gone for Gore, we would have had a president who was arguing in favor of tackling climate change in the year 2000. We would have been incredibly ahead of the curve. We would, in all likelihood, have a president who took the CIA's warnings of an impending al-Qaeda attack in the US seriously. We would not have had the disastrous Afghanistan and Iraq invasions and the "War on Terror," the rampant Islamophobia, "No Child Left Behind," the 2008 economic crash, and everything else that Dubya and his band of bloodthirsty neocons inflicted on us in the early aughties. Look, I try not to look back too much, but having Gore instead of Bush as president would have reshaped the entire timeline we're living in to such an unfathomably better degree that every moron thinking of voting third party For The Protest should be sat down and forced to learn this history intimately. Of course, they already saw it happen in real time in 2016, but they didn't care about that either.

The good news is: there are plenty of persuadable voters out there, and you can do work to reach them and convince them to vote for Democrats! They're just not online, because all the Online Leftists are terminally brain-poisoned against voting anyway and trying to argue with them is generally a waste of time. Instead, what you should do is take a gander at the following links:

This is the one-stop shop page for volunteering to get Democrats elected. You can do in-person and remote work, there are tons of different ways to get involved (i.e. you don't have to go directly out and knock doors if that's not something you're comfortable with), and your local Democratic party will welcome the volunteer help. There is also a page for finding your state party website:

I went there, clicked on my state, opened the webpage, and there was a "Volunteer" link right in the header, with an easy and quick form to fill out to register your interest and explain the kinds of work you would be interested in doing. You can canvass directly, you can manage data on the back end, you can phone bank, you can send texts and postcards to voters who may need an extra nudge, you can otherwise work with your state party in lots of ways, and it will be so much more productive and make you feel so much better than arguing with online idiots who will never, ever change their minds. What you can do is reach out to voters in your own community, in your own state, and have conversations with people who actually ARE willing to listen, but might need a little more educating on the facts, what's at stake, the truth about this election, and the danger that Trump poses. All of this will convert into critically important Democratic votes, and you can actually put your desire to make a difference into action. So yeah. I would 100% suggest you do it this way instead. Good luck.

[rowanthestrange]

The one downside of this episode is i’m now gonna have to watch at least a full week of people going “oh so russell’s improved on the racism then” but it’s not about the accidental Mickey - stupid ape shit that he was called out on and had opportunity to fix and didn’t cus he’d ‘already started it’ and only later realised he should’ve listened to people after he’d colourblind-cast Mickey as black (including listening to the actor himself). No, it’s people to this fucking day not understanding the simple ABC Martha subplot because they think Ten’s flaws are the writer’s.

a) Ten tells Martha to “oh just walk around like you own the place”.

b) Martha is called a slur in that episode by the symbol of britain - Shakespeare himself. This showed that this was bad advice from Ten.

c) Ten not seeing Martha for who she is, ties into “not seeing colour” a thing actual progressives were trying to stop people saying at the time, that yes colour is important to note and was why Russell said there needed to be a black companion specifically when people complained and asked ‘why he couldn’t just hire the best person’. It comes to a head in the show when Ten gets Martha stuck in a hideously racist position because he did not see her as herself, a fact which is repeatedly shown to be awful and bad as she is mistreated and belittled, it is openly shown to be racist. The Doctor Did Bad by being all enlightened futurist ‘not seeing colour’ and therefore not seeing the reality the person he cared about was actually facing.

I have never met a single member of the general public who didn’t get that back in 2008 by the way. My grandmother got it. This is a solid fandom-based-brainworms lack of basic media comprehension.

[pucksandpower]

IN MY BLOOD

Y/N SENNA x CHARLES LECLERC

Series Masterlist

INTERLUDE: Grid Walks

2000 — Age 5

“Hello, Y/N. How are you enjoying race day so far?” Martin asked, bending down to her level.

Y/N grinned mischievously, “Oh Mr. Brundle, I love it! But you know what? I've been to so many races that I think I know this place better than you.”

Martin chuckled, intrigued by her confidence. “Is that so? Well perhaps you can give me a guided tour sometime.”

Y/N's eyes sparkled with excitement. “Deal. But first you have to catch me!” With that, she darted off into the paddock.

“Hey, where are you going?” Martin called out, chasing after her.

But Y/N was already gone, her laughter echoing through the air. Martin found himself in a comical game of cat and mouse, weaving through the paddock, trying to keep up with the energetic young Senna.

Finally, after a series of twists and turns, Martin managed to catch up with Y/N. She was standing by the side of the track, giggling uncontrollably. “Gotcha!” she exclaimed, clearly proud of her mini-adventure.

Martin gasped for breath, a grin forming on his face. “Y/N, you really gave me a run for my money. You're as fast as your father on the track!”

Y/N smiled in delight, her small chest puffed with pride. “Thank you, Mr. Brundle. I'm just getting started.”

2004 — Age 9

Spotting Y/N near her father's memorial, Martin approached her with a smile. “Hello, Y/N. How's the karting going?”

Y/N's eyes lit up and she eagerly launched into a passionate monologue about her karting experiences. “Mr. Brundle, you won't believe it. I had this incredible race last weekend. I started from the back but I overtook one kart after another and finished on the podium!”

Martin listened intently, captivated by Y/N's enthusiasm. “That sounds like an amazing race. It's clear that the racing genes run strong in your family. Your father would be proud.”

Y/N nodded vigorously, her ponytail bouncing with excitement. “I want to be the best, just like him. I practice every day and study every race I watch.”

Martin couldn't help but smile at Y/N's determination. “I have no doubt that you'll achieve great things. Keep pushing and one day we might see you in a Formula 1 car.”

2008 — Age 13

On the grid, Martin spotted Y/N intently observing the mechanics working on the cars. He approached her with a smile, ready to engage in a conversation about the technical side of the sport.

“Y/N, it's great to see you here. What fascinates you most about Formula 1?”

Y/N's eyes sparkled as she replied, “Hi, Martin! I love everything about it. The aerodynamics, the engineering, the strategies — it's like a puzzle waiting to be solved. Did you know that the airflow around the car affects its performance? It's amazing!”

Martin raised an eyebrow, impressed by Y/N's knowledge. “Well, you certainly know your stuff. I might have to come to you for technical insights in the future.”

Y/N beamed with pride. “Absolutely! Anytime you need a crash course in this side of F1, just let me know.”

Martin chuckled, enjoying their banter. "I might take you up on that offer. Just be prepared for a barrage of questions."

Y/N nodded eagerly. “Bring it on, I'm always up for a challenge.”

As they continued their conversation, Martin couldn't help but notice Y/N's genuine passion and curiosity for the technical aspects of Formula 1. It was clear that she had inherited her father's analytical mind and thirst for knowledge.

“Y/N, you remind me so much of your father. He had a similar fascination with the technical side of racing,” Martin remarked, a touch of nostalgia in his voice.

Y/N's eyes widened with excitement. “Really? That means so much to me. I've always looked up to him and admired his approach to racing. If I can carry even a fraction of his dedication, I'll be happy.”

Martin smiled warmly at her. “You're already making your own mark. Keep nurturing that passion and who knows where it will take you?”

2012 — Age 17

Martin found himself amidst the bustling paddock, searching for the now seventeen-year-old Y/N Senna. He spotted her in deep conversation with her future team, a determined expression on her face.

Approaching her with a smile, Martin congratulated her on signing her first Formula 1 contract. “Y/N, congratulations on your contract! How does it feel to be back in the paddock but as a driver this time?”

Y/N's face lit up with joy as she replied, “Thank you, Martin! It's an incredible feeling — a dream come true. I can't wait to show what I'm capable of on the track.”

Martin nodded, his excitement mirroring Y/N's. “I have no doubt that you'll do amazing things. Your journey has been incredible to witness, from that mischievous young girl to the talented racer standing before me today.”

Y/N filled with gratitude, her eyes glistening with determination. “Thank you. Your support means the world to me. I'll give it my all and make my family proud.”

Martin patted her shoulder, a paternal gesture filled with encouragement. “Remember, you carry the legacy of a true racing legend. Your father's spirit and passion live on through you. Embrace the challenge, enjoy every moment, and keep making us all proud.”

As the interview concluded, Martin couldn't help but feel a sense of awe and anticipation for the upcoming season, where Y/N Senna would make her Formula 1 racing debut.

With a playful twinkle in his eye, Martin leaned closer to Y/N and whispered, “You know, your father was known for his incredible speed and skill on the track. But you seem to have inherited his mischievous spirit too.”

Y/N laughed, her eyes shining with a mix of innocence and determination. “Maybe I got it from him. I can't promise I won't give you another run for your money someday, Martin.”

Martin chuckled, his heart filled with warmth. “I'll be ready for the challenge. Just make sure I have my running shoes on.”

With a final wave and a shared laughter, Martin left the grid, eagerly awaiting the moment when Y/N would grace the Formula 1 circuits as a driver. He knew that her journey would be filled with triumphs, challenges, and the unwavering support of so many motorsport legends.

As the engines roared and the lights dimmed on the current season, the motorsport world brimmed with anticipation for the next. They eagerly awaited the day when Y/N Senna, with her father's legacy as her guiding star, would step into her racing car and write her own chapter in the history of Formula 1.

And so, the world watched with bated breath, knowing that the story of Y/N Senna would unfold in the seasons to come. With every lap, every victory, and every challenge she faced, Y/N would make her mark, continuing the legacy of her father while creating a legacy of her own.

And through it all, Martin Brundle would be there, cheering her on, sharing in the excitement, and forever grateful for the lighthearted moments they shared during those unforgettable grid walks.

Taglist: @xeliaaaa @cl16version @aileeincomplexity @uh-oh-spaghetti-oh-my-gosh @ninifee1802 @oprantodomar @vanishingcherry @ferraribabe @magicalcowboyarbiter @materialgirl01 @miureiz @kavyaas-world @noodle81937 @cl16gf @laura-naruto-fan1998 @stillbreathin @alexisquinnlee-bc @chiliwhore @itachissneakylink @lxverboy-333 @nim360 @celestialams @chimchimjiminie16 @saturnsrinqs @sharllec @sticksdoesart @ivegotparticulartaste @kruellaaa @multifandomfanfic @love4lando @lunehlana @judeswifey22 @gentlemonsterjennie1 @spencerrxids @eugene-emt-roe @thatgirlthatreadswattpad @g4ns3y @notleclerc @magical-imagination-kgp @ru-kru @christianpulisic10 @paigem00 @paletragedydreamer @fluffyspaceprincess @ironmaiden1313 @dr3lover @deviltsunoda @belennasif @honethatty12 @idkiwantchocolatee @omgsuperstarg @jwilder0406 @ruleroftheuniverse @chonkybonky @angelulls @daniellarogers @ocyeanicc @serenityleah @dazecrea

[tadpolesonalgae]

Up The Junction

ModernYA!Azriel x reader

a/n: set circa 2008, England :) also, this is heavily inspired by Up The Junction by Squeeze if you want to give that a cheeky listen 🧡💛

warnings: angst, smut -> pregnancy, slightly bittersweet ending but I think they’re happy :)

Word count: 7,194

——————————————————————————————————————————————

“Will you marry me?”

Your jaw drops open, hands flying to your mouth as you nearly stumble back a step.

He’s down on one knee, presenting a slim, golden band in a simple velvet box, hazel eyes intent and nervous. Slightly jittery as his chest rises and falls.

Your lower lip wobbles, vision blurring, small sobs already wracking your chest. He waits patiently, anxiously, as you try to get the words out, pushing tears away, wiping your nose as you sniffle.

“Yes…!” You cry. “Yes! A thousand times yes!”

Relief sweeps through his body, and he’s wrapping you up in his arms, raising you into the air as he swings you around before lowering you again to the floor, pulling you tight. You cry harder, trying to wipe your nose on the scratchy cuff of your navy jumper, thankful you’d decided to put that wash on a few days ago.

“I promise I’ll be good to you,” he murmurs, voice thick with emotion, and you squeeze into him tighter. “You won’t regret it,” he swears, managing to pull away long enough to cup your jaw, pressing a kiss to your tear-stained cheek. “I’d never regret it,” you mumble out, still sobbing heavily, trembling with happiness and that rush of joy. Your whole lives together. That feeling of wanting it to be always; forever—requited.

“I’ll be a good husband to you,” he murmurs thickly, gently holding your hand in his larger one, pulling away long enough to slide the thin band around your ring finger.

Fresh tears drip down your cheeks as you raise it up to the watery sunlight, crying at what it symbolises. “I’ll make a good wife, Az,” you manage, turning to look at him with a wide, wobbly smile on your lips. “We’ll make this work. Together.”

Hazel eyes gleam, able to see your reflection in their glassy surface as he nods, still holding you close. “Together.”

—

You’d moved in together after college, happy and engaged, feeling on top of the world. Like nothing could get you down.

You were going to spend your lives together, how could you ever be sad?

It was tricky in places, but you’d found someone renting their garage, a basement attached, fully equipped with a bathroom, working plumbing, and an in-built kitchen. Sure, it was tight, but it was affordable, and most importantly, temporary. It was okay to start small, to build your way up to a family. Rome wasn’t built in a day, after all.

The basement was dingy, one small window in the far wall of the open-plan room, the bed pushed into the corner beneath it. A sink was along the other wall leading to the door, some counter space available along with a washing machine, hob, and oven. The fridge was kept at the far end of the raised surfaces, adjacent to the bed, squeezed in to fit.

The only slight problem was washing. The bathroom was tiny, the only private space in the basement, hidden behind a waterproof curtain in swimming-pool blue, containing a sink and toilet. No shower or bath. You’d have to hand wash.

But it was fine. The two of you couldn’t be happier living together, having your own space and privacy. A place to start building your home.

It took a while to get on your feet after graduation, but Az had managed to get a job in IT, working to keep things functioning at a local law firm, while you managed to snag a spot as a receptionist at a nearby motel. The hours were difficult, with your shifts constantly being moved around, sometimes working double over a day, sometimes called to be in overnight, switching out at two in the morning to make your way back to the cramped basement.

Azriel’s hours were set, but they were long and tiring, often he would get back exhausted, having to explain the same thing over and over to big-wigs who couldn’t care less about how specialised he was in his area of expertise.

A year later, and you’d gathered enough savings to buy a computer, so Az would be able to work from home in the events of…something happening.

That talk had been had late one night, after he’d gotten back from his shift and you were headed out for your own, how it might be a good idea to start thinking about what the future will hold. Who else might be joining your lives. The conversation had ended with a giddy smile on your face, Az’s eyes practically glowing with happiness, the dimple at the edge of his mouth making its rare appearance at the possibility of a future baby.

And now that safety net was in place, the hunky piece of equipment having taken up a valuable spot of counter space, a bar stool bought so he’d be able to work.

You’d become more relaxed after that. A air of electricity between you, charged and excited, yet neither of you dared address that elephant in the room. The shared desire neither of you had the courage to yet voice. Confined to the dark hours where naked bodies would press together, and he’d go slower, rolling his hips deeper, more tenderly that you were accustomed to, but you didn’t care. All that mattered was you were together, together and in love. So intense it was like wildfire.

The first time that subject had been broached was entirely accidental. He’d been kissing down your throat, your nipples sore from the attention of his touch and teeth, hands gripping your hips firmly with your thighs spread apart. You’d both been so near that edge, shared heat passing between you when he’d brushed a spot inside of you, having you squeeze him so deliciously.

“Fuck,” he’d panted, skin flushed with colour, inky hair flopping over his brow, swept across to one side, curling at its ends from sweat. “So fucking good,” he’d praised, bucking his hips, angling so he’d hit that spot again. “Gonna knock you up. Fill you to the brim.” The orgasm had found you right then and there, crying out as you came, fluttering around him, mumbling how badly you wanted him to take the condom off, to finish inside of you.

It had been the morning after the two of you had finally sat down and discussed those secret thoughts, all you’d needed was the others confirmation, and you were ready. It could take a while to conceive, and you wanted to take action before your fertility began decreasing, chances slipping away.

The process had been draining, with you taking a test each month, wondering if that time would be different, if maybe this time he’d taken root inside of you, instead of your cycle being late. But the cramps started again and again, kicking in a mere few days after you having taken the test, as if to spite you. And each time he’d comfort you, wrapping you in his arms when you opened the the small curtain, shaking your head sadly, with him reminding you there’s still time. You’re in no hurry to conceive; this is why it was good you’d started early. You had more leeway.

But then it had been two years since you’d initially gotten engaged, and still no signs of life.

It wasn’t as if he was lacking either. He was thorough in his attention, making sure to keep his hips pressed tight with your own in the minutes after you’d both found completion, keeping release tucked away inside of you.

Slowly, you began worrying—if it wasn’t him, it had to be you.

So you’d made an appointment, searching for any kind of sign to continue trying. There’s be no point if you really were infertile. What could you do then? How could you build a family if your body was wrecked irreparably. But there had been nothing wrong with you that the doctor could find, so you’d gone home, lost and confused. Why wasn’t anything happening?

Azriel had suggested maybe it was hormones—neither of you could deny you were stressing over the lack of development. You weren’t seeing friends as frequently anymore either. In fact, it had been weeks since you’d last hung out with anyone other than your fiancé, so a trip had been arranged. It had been messy, with constantly changing plans, but eventually you settled on a day. Az, Rhys, Cass, and Nesta would be heading to the theatres, while you, Feyre, and Elain spent a girls day together—likely shopping, listening to music, preparing a dinner for when the others returned.

Your own plans aside, most of the confusion had centred on Az’s end, struggling to find a film they’d all be happy to watch. The decisions had been so tiring and seemingly so endless they’d decided to split and see two separate ones instead—much to Cassian’s grumpiness. Az and Rhys would get to see The Dark Knight—a movie you know he’s secretly been desperate to see ever since the villain’s actor’s unfortunate passing earlier that year. Meanwhile Nesta would be dragging her boyfriend to a film adaptation of a book series she’d been subtly obsessed with for years—Twilight.

The day came, and you had kissed your fiancé on the cheek before heading out, making your way to the bus stop to take you to Feyre and Rhys’ place, where the three of you would be spending most of your time. It had been good getting to see the two of them again. It almost felt like you were back in college, chatting away in the cafeteria, slouched on sofas while the radio blasted out whatever was in the charts.

All three of you had gotten into their truck, Elain the only one with a licence so she took the wheel while driving you to the shopping centre. It was all so exciting! It really had been so long since you’d done something like this, having taken out some money beforehand as a precaution, in case you saw something you really liked. Az had insisted, despite the tight budget you managed to make work.

Elain had grabbed a large ceramic mug, small flowers growing up the sides, while you and Feyre had taken an interest in a pretty pair of ruby red heels, the silver buckle contrasting with the popping colour. There was no way you’d be able to afford them, but it didn’t stop you from dreaming, nor did it stop you from encouraging Feyre to buy them, seeing how her eyes twinkled, her mouth pulling up into a wide smile as you spoke about what to wear with them.

Eventually though, the two of you had left the storefront, finished ogling, Feyre having ultimately decided to leave them be. You couldn’t help feel she knew you wanted them, but were unable to buy them, choosing to move on and pick something else—a matching mug with her sister, insisting on grabbing another for you and a forth for their older sister. If it hadn’t been for the black mug with a howling wolf on the side they’d insisted on getting for Nesta, you wouldn’t have accepted their gift. Though that’s likely why they did it in the first place.

The day came and went, cheeks aching from smiling all day, your new mug kept in your bag, precious and exciting, your heart skipping each time you subtly peeked down to catch a gleam of the glazed surface.

Az, Rhys, Cass, and Nesta had gotten back later as you’d anticipated, and while she made no explicit comment about the film, she’d had an excited air about her, Cassian keeping his arm wrapped around her the rest of the night. Az had given you a happy smile, dropping a kiss to your forehead, asking how your day went, and you’d mentioned the heels before you’d proudly shown him the mug in the privacy of the hallway of Rhys and Feyre’s home. Carefully leaving out the gift part. It had been an act of kindness on their end, and you knew Az would insist on paying one of them back if he knew, so you kept it as your secret.

—

Life resumed its normal pace, but you were feeling happier, more uplifted since having gotten out of the cramped and slightly smelly basement, spirits raised from spending a day with your friends.

And then a few months later, you’d missed your cycle.

You’d hardly dared hope, having rushed to a nearby pharmacy to purchase three tests, shakily handing over the money before hurrying home and drawing the swimming-pool shower curtain to a close to give yourself some privacy.

Az had gotten back a while later, calling out for you as soon as he’d stepped foot in the basement, but had been greeted with silence. Then quiet sobs coming from the bathroom.

You remember it so clearly. How he’d hurriedly strode over to the small washroom, calling out for you, making sure you were okay, concern heavy in his voice. It had been then you’d appeared, a positive pregnancy test held preciously between shaky fingers.

“You’re—…” His eyes had started gleaming then, hot and wet, and he’d wrapped you up in his arms, your feet raising off the ground and he lifted you up, your hands locking over his shoulders as you’d managed a tearful nod. “It’s happening, Az,” you’d cried softly, sniffling, wiping your nose on the worn sleeve of your top. “We’re going to have a baby. It’s really happening.”

He’d squeezed you tighter, before setting you down on the floor, hands lightly gripping your upper arms as you pushed wetness from your cheeks. You hadn’t cried like this since your engagement.

“And you’re sure this is what you want?” He’d asked, brows curved as he searched your face. “You’re happy with this?”

A fresh wave of tears had started all over again, a croaky laugh creaking from your throat as you’d nodded. “Over the moon, Az.”

—

The pace had changed all over again, and you’d noticed how he kept the fridge fully stocked, even if it strained on your budget. More expensive foods had made their appearance, no longer cheaping out to scrape by. If you were eating for two, Az had reasoned, he wanted you to be as well-fed as possible. A good diet was important, and you needed more than pasta with the occasional vegetable cooked in.

It wasn’t soon after that you’d noticed the coffee smell fading from his shirts, becoming fainter and fainter after each big clean. When you’d brought it up to him however, he hadn’t minded, reasoning he’d been needing to drink less of it anyway, and now was as good a time as any to start waning off it.

Parenting books had begun cropping up around the place, briefly making an appearance beside his robust computer before being read thoroughly, and returned to the library, moving onto the next one. You couldn’t help how your lips tugged upward at the edges each time a new title appeared, glancing down at your stomach, no noticeable bump yet showing. Though that never stopped either of you from laying hands over your abdomen, pressing close, treasuring the gift.

You’d told your parents, and Az had broken the news to your friends, and you couldn’t have been happier. Finally, three years into your engagement, things were coming together. Hard work paying off.

He’d been trying to get you to rest more often, but you knew you couldn’t afford to take time off before your maternity leave started. Money was still tight, and you savoured every cheque you received, steadily adding to your savings pound by pound. You knew Az had been working overtime more often, taking every chance he could to bring in some extra cash—every little counted now, and you both knew it.

The evenings you had alone together grew further and further apart though, and while you tried not to fret, you missed spending time with him. Eating together, lounging atop a lumpy mattress before sleep, one of you washing the dishes while the other dried and put away.

But routine had shifted: more frequently you would cook, eat supper, and leave his in the oven to keep it warm for when he eventually made it back. It wasn’t everything, but physical intimacies were rarer too, having a few minutes of conversation and hugging, before he was passed out. In those moments guilt weighted in your gut—he was working himself to the bone, the slight darkness he’d always had beneath his eyes becoming more pronounced as the weeks had worn on.

At one point you’d begun timing your schedule with Feyre’s, catching the bus over to her place whenever she had a gap in her shifts—usually a Wednesday, sometimes a Thursday. Weekends had still been precious though, when Az would be back by five instead of ten or eleven, and Sundays when he wouldn’t be working at all.

Between chatting about your lives, future plans, where you’d like to go on holiday to, the topic pf your baby had come up. It had been a surreal experience, but you’d crumbled a little, admitting how much you were missing him. Feyre had sat quietly and listened to every confession, nursing her tea, contained in one of the matching mugs.

“He isn’t around as much, Fey,” you manage, peering into your tea, tucked up on one of her sofas. “He’s running himself ragged, and I don’t know what to do. It’s dark when he leaves and it’s dark when he returns. He leaves early and comes home late, and I know we…it’s difficult…but I need him,” you admit softly. “I need him to be around, so we can do this together.”

Tears had splashed into your tea then, and you’d both discarded your mugs as she’d shuffled closer, arms wrapping around you as you’d cried into the soft cashmere of her jumper. “Am I being selfish?” You’d mumbled out, throat aching from how you were trying to be quiet. “I know he’s doing it for us, but, I just…”

“You aren’t selfish,” she’d whispered, hand stroking up and down over your back. “It’s difficult, like you said. But it will pass, remember? It’s a difficult patch in your life, but you have to trust it will pass. Things will get better.”

You’d sniffled, nodding into her shoulder, pulling back to dry your teary eyes. Guilt tightening around your throat, constricting across your chest as you felt your heart throb with strain.

“You can always come round here, too,” she’d reminded gently. “If you need to get out, I can move some things around, okay? You’re not alone. I know you’re head over heels for one another, but you’ve got us, too. Whenever you need us.”

The sobs had started afresh, but you managed a wobbly smile, playing with the golden band on your finger—an anxious habit you’d fallen into.

“Thanks, Fey.”

—

Christmas had rolled around, and it was the first time in months—years—you’d all been in the same place at once.

Mor had made it back from the states, Amren joining her on the trip back to meet up with everyone and celebrate.

Rhys and Feyre had hosted, and you couldn’t help but hope this would become a tradition of sorts. You’d missed them all acutely, easy days of college long in the past.

You’d all chipped in one way or another, and an agreement had been made to not do presents all around this year. Just spending time with another, with gifts permitted to be exchanged between couples.

The night had started, and straight off the bat you’d noticed the absence of any sort of alcohol, the sharp scent surprisingly noticeable in its absence, and your heart warmed at the thoughtfulness. You kept tight to Az most of the night, treasuring the minutes you spent together with him, and from the way his arm remained around you in some way, you got an inkling the distance might have been waring on him, too. More than you had thought.

Food was put together, and you’d taken the time to appreciate the scents, how much there was to consume—there’d definitely be leftovers. Pudding was brought out, non-alcoholic fruit cake, as well as some biscuits and other little treats.

Then the small gifts made their appearance, and you’d handed Az the small parcel you’d snuck into your bag earlier that night. He’d given an inquisitive look, a suspicious smile curving his mouth, but you’d grinned, nodding your head for him to hurry up and open it. His brows had risen in surprise when he saw the small guitar picks inside, coloured black, blue, and grey, then one with a flaming skull on.

Hazel had practically glowed as he’d smiled, pulling you tight, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head. There hadn’t been much time for him to play in recent years, but you’d noticed how his eyes would sometimes flick to the discarded instrument, kept sealed away, leaned against the grey walls of the basement.

“Thank you,” he’d murmured, pulling away to look at you, before pressing another kiss to your forehead. “I hope you get more time to play this year,” you’d whispered back, hands greedily taking in his heat, memorising his feel while you had the chance.

His throat had rolled, then he’d stepped away, pulling something out from his pocket. “It’s not as good as yours,” he’d admitted thickly, almost nervously, “but I thought you might like it.”

You’d cocked your head, holding your palm out when he’d extended his closed fist, dropping something into your hand. It had been a small bracelet, and a smile had curved your lips when you’d noticed the slightly shoddy clasps, stray thread hanging out on one side. Along the string were some small square beads, the type with letters on you could purchase at a craft store, and you held the bracelet up to read the tiny name he’d spelled out.

“Mama bear?” You read aloud, eyes gleaming with heat as your mouth had stretched wide, a grin broadening your lips as you had beamed up at your fiancé with unabashed adoration. A relieved smile had played on his mouth then, nodding his head, affection clear on his features. “For the strongest person I know,” he’d whispered, hazel eyes soft at the edges.

You’d laughed then, shaking your head, but he’d kept that smile on his mouth, like he could see something you couldn’t, until you’d lightly patted him on his arm, telling him to stop spewing nonsense.

A gasp had drawn your attention away from him, turning to see Feyre opening what looked like a neatly wrapped shoe box, and you could make out the shock on her face. Your smile had broadened, happy she’s happy—Rhys was usually good when getting her presents, a twinge of joy that she’s also found someone who cared so deeply for her.

“What d’you get?” You’d asked, keeping tucked into Az’s side.

Panicked eyes had flitted to you before she covered it up, smiling as she shook her head, as if to say ‘oh, Rhysand’. But then you’d moved forward to see what he’d found for her, and you spotted those ruby heels in the box. Silver buckle gleaming beneath the kitchen lights.

Feyre had stiffened, but a smile had broken across your features, hugging her excitedly. “I’m so happy for you!” You’d whispered as you’d embraced, squeezing her tight and you felt as she began relaxing. Her arms had tentatively squeezed you back, leaning into you. “Thank you,” she’d murmured, before you’d both pulled away, Feyre glancing at your smiling face before reflecting the expression.

She’d pulled back after that, and you’d returned to Az’s side as you watched Feyre hug and kiss Rhys, how he’d smiled like he was the luckiest man in the world, and you couldn’t help the warmth that had spread across your face. You’d glanced up at Az, but his expression was unreadable, hazel eyes watching them intently. The open box on the table.

You’d nudged his side, linking your hand with his, guiding his attention back to you. “Want to get out of here?” You’d whispered, grinning, free palm over your abdomen. He’d swallowed thickly, but pulled together a faint smile, nodding.

The ride home had been quiet. Unusually so.

But sometimes he liked his peace, so you’d been happy to play with the bracelet around your wrist, smiling as you‘d looked out of the window into the dark streets outside.

“Those were the shoes you’d mentioned, weren’t they?” He’d asked into the silence.

You’d stiffened, fingers stuttering over the beads, turning to look at him, but he’d been staring ahead. “They wouldn’t have suited me anyway,” you’d said quietly, trying to push some humour into your voice to comfort him. “When would I have even worn them?”

In the low light you could make out how his jaw had worked. “They were.”

You’d lowered your head, peering down at the bracelet he’d given you. “Yeah.”

There’d been a tense silence, then he’d sighed, running a hand through his hair. “One day,” he’d murmured heavily, nodding to himself. “One day.”

You’d looked at hime again after that, wanting to squeeze his hand. “Together,” you’d added, quietly.

—

Winter had been harsh, and the heating had shut off throughout the basement, though it had been fixed within the week.

You’d kept closer those seven nights, and you’d secretly enjoyed the apparent misfortune. He’d been more attentive during that week, making sure you were kept warm, covering you in various jackets, though neither of you could really afford something tough enough to keep the chill out. But it hadn’t mattered when you were lying together, your back pressed to his front, his arm around your waist, hand settled over the noticeable bump in your stomach.

To this day, you can still remember the first time you’d felt her kick.

How you’d been together in bed, on a cold Sunday morning, and you’d felt something. A few moments later you’d felt it again, and had nearly started crying, gripping for Az’s hand to guide it over your abdomen, excitement glowing in your eyes as your baby had kicked again.

Azriel had smiled wide then, a look of awe on his face, gazing at you before returning his attention to your stomach. You’d watched him then, how his face had lit up each time he’d felt a kick, and that giddiness had warmed you up.

Proud of the father he’d already begun to change into.

—

Eight months in, and morning sickness had been running you thin.

It hadn’t been every morning, but more often than not you’d wake, been allowed a few minutes of peace to enjoy with him, then nausea would be creeping up your throat. You’d give a resigned groan, before rolling (actually rolling) out of bed and wobbling to the toilet to throw up.

Azriel had been there for you at first, holding your hair out of your face, soothing your back, reminding how well you were handling the pregnancy, but as you began staying up later waiting for him to come home, with nothing to do throughout the day, you’d begun sleeping in too. He’d never wanted to wake you—wanting you to have as much rest as possible—so had quietly gotten up and headed off to work before the sun was up, letting you sleep in.

Consequently, you’d be alone through the morning sickness, heaving into the toilet bowl, legs trembling. Sometimes having to spend the first hour of your day changing the sheets after having vomited all over them.

It had been getting harder to cope, without him around. But you knew he was working hard—and you needed the money.

The strain hadn’t been helped when one evening he’d brought the bracelet up. You’d never taken it off, since without a shower or bath, there was no reason to, as a flannel could move around it.

“Did you wear that to work?” He’d asked, when you’d been laying on the bed while he washed and dried the dishes. You were too large to reach at this point, so it made more sense for him to do them. Sound reasoning you had detested as it was just more work for him to do while you lazed around, unable to help or contribute.

“Yup,” you’d replied, smiling again as you’d glanced down at the handmade gift. Your heart had always warmed whenever you read his little message, gradually allowing that possibility to take root. Maybe he really did think you were strong. Maybe you actually were. “Never take it off.”

He hadn’t looked at you as you had anticipated, no smile thrown over his shoulder as he’d continued washing the dishes.

Your brows had narrowed then, worry tightening your throat. “Why?”

Azriel had been silent for a bit, putting the plates away on the drying board. “And your work didn’t mind?” He’d asked. “They didn’t think it was unprofessional? Or distracting?”

“No,” you’d laughed quietly, “they thought it was a wonderful gift, and thoughtful. Nancy complimented it endlessly.” His posture had gone a little rigid, spine stiffening when he moved onto drying. “You showed it to everyone?” He’d asked quietly, and worry had hollowed out your ears. “It’s precious, Az,” you’d replied, “of course I did.”

He’d gone silent then, choosing to focus on rubbing off the water with the dish towel.

“Az?” You’d shifted on the bed, heaving yourself into a more upright position. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he’d replied lightly, carefully putting your special mug aside.

Your chest had tightened, and you’d swallowed thickly before setting your slightly swollen feet on the floor, walking to be beside him. “Az…” you’d murmured, hands wrapping over his forearm, pulling him to a halt as hazel eyes had at last swept over you, dark and exhausted. “Please talk to me,” you’d requested quietly, fingers linking with his damp ones. “What’s bothering you?”

Moments had ticked by, then his eyes had grown hot and wet, brows pulling together as tears had escaped down his cheek. “I’m sorry it was such a shit present,” he’d whispered, hands moving to grip yours when he’d turned to face you fully, crying. “I’m sorry I can’t do more for you. I should’ve gotten you something better, something you deserved.”

Your heart had ached painfully, struggling to keep your own tears at bay, as his head had lowered with shame, hands shaking lightly as he held onto you. He hadn’t needed to bring the shoes up for you to know that’s what it was about. His perceived insufficiency, and inability to care for you.

“Az, I…” You had cut yourself off, trying to choke down tears to comfort and reassure him. He was perfect, how could he ever feel like he wasn’t enough, when he was almost singlehandedly keeping all three of you together and looked after. “Az, I don’t care about presents,” you’d managed, “this?” —you’d nodded to the bracelet— “This I love, because you made it for me. Between all your work, and cooking, and caring, you found the time to make me something I could have on me at all times,” you’d said, tears dripping down your cheeks as you’d stared at one another.

“It’s so important to me, because of you,” you’d cried. “You do so much to look after us, working yourself to the bone… I love you, Az. You’re everything to me. The whole world and more.”

“You don’t—… You don’t regret it?” He’d managed thickly, keeping his hold on your hands. “Being with me?”

You’d shaken your head, trying to get the words out as your throat constricted. “No…no I don’t,” you’d cried, peering up at him. “A thousand times yes, remember?”

His brows had pulled together then, pain gleaming in that swirling cosmos of hazel as he nodded, breathing heavily, leaning over you as his arms had wrapped over your shoulders. You could feel his shudders, your hands gripping the back of his shirt—one of his favourites, a comfort item of sorts, with one of the bands he likes printed on the front.

“I love you, Az,” you’d whispered, shaking together. “I love you for you.”

—

Looking back, things had improved for a bit. Until he’d tried to give more of himself.

That had been when you’d begun crumbling.

He’d pushed himself harder, and had managed to get a part-time job in a car-repair shop, having already been familiar with the maths of engineering and having had a fascination with mechanics when he had been younger.

Just like that, the weekends had been taken too.

He’d leave for work before you woke, stop at six, then help out for a couple of hours after dark, returning when you were asleep. Saturdays and Sundays were no longer spent with him—he’d sold them off. Bargaining his time for your future.

He’d work all day, weekends the busiest as it was when folk with regular nine-to-five jobs would have the time to take their cars round for a checkup, or to be evaluated and told where to go if they were unable to fix the problem. You’d hardly seen him in that final, tiring month of pregnancy.

Would he stop once you gave birth? Somehow you’d begun to doubt it.

You’d admired his conviction, his drive and determination to see something through to the end, until it had ultimately taken him away from you. All when you’d most needed him. No amount of talking had been able to convince him otherwise, so set on being useful. On proving to himself he wasn’t insufficient—that he could look after you.

It had been then that you’d left him. Leaving a sticky note on the oven handle telling him you’d gone to Feyre’s, and that you’d needed space.

And he’d given it.

It hadn’t been unusual to chat through notes, but with his long working hours, you’d treasured the new form of communication. Reading and rereading each one he’d left, memorising his handwriting, the tiny hearts he’d added, or the lopsided smileys he’d doodled before heading out. But that hadn’t been enough for you, so you’d reached for help elsewhere.

A few days had gone by before the landline had rung, your fiancé having become too worried to leave silence for any longer, even if you had requested space. He couldn’t leave you like that.

Not soon after, you’d moved back in with your parents, and the guilt you’d felt when Rhys had offered to be the one to tell Az had nearly had your legs giving out. Shame so crushing you’d felt faint. Especially upon accepting.

God knew you wouldn’t have been able to handle that pressure of explaining it to him. Not when you had been on the verge of giving birth. It would have been any day then, and you’d been under enough stress you’d been worried for the health of the baby.

It had worked out in the end though.

—

The knocker thuds thrice against the hardwood door of your parents house, and you instinctively glance over to little Valerie, but she remains soundly asleep.

Your mother smiles as she passes by, heading for the door since you’re still struggling to walk after being discharged from the hospital on the condition that you rest.

You pull Val closer, wanting to keep her as nearby as possible, the pressure in your chest easing as you look over her, quiet and peaceful—for the moment, at least.

Minutes later your mother returns, a gentle look on her face. “It’s Azriel,” she says hesitantly. “Are you feeling up to speaking with him?” At his name alone you feel your eyes grow hot, but you push the feeling away, glancing down at Val. It’s been five days since you gave birth, and he’s yet to see his daughter in person. He deserves to meet her. So you nod.

Your mother watches silently for a little, before reciprocating the gesture. “Do you want to be alone?”

Your throat rolls, but you manage to answer, “yes…we’ll be okay.” She nods again, before turning to leave, “your father and I needed to get some more shopping in anyway—good a time as any, right?” You smile, before she disappears out of sight, and you breathe deeply, holding Val slightly closer, groaning as you straighten on the sofa.

Footsteps scuff in the hallway, and you brace yourself.

He’s messy tidy. Clearly having made an effort, but unable to conceal the circles beneath his eyes, the exhaustion on his features. Hair a little disheveled, likely from playing with it out of stress as you sometimes used to catch him doing.

“Hey,” you manage, pushing a faint smile to your lips.

Hazel eyes scan you carefully before settling on the bundle in your arms, unable to conceal the emotion that flashes through his face. His throat rolls, raising his gaze to yours. Licking his dry lips. “How are you?” He asks thickly, entering the living room, boots having been discarded at the door.

“Good,” you reply, hoarsely. “Still aching in places, but, you know…”

“Staying strong,” he finishes, voice slightly raw. He nods to himself, “you’ve always been good at that.”

There’s a pause in the conversation, and you look at one another.

Then tears are spilling out from both of you, and you’re trying to hold your sobs in to not disturb Val, while Azriel rubs at his face, trying to get himself under control.

“I’m sorry,” he breathes raggedly, “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have left you alone like that. I just—… I wanted to look after you. I want you to be secure—for us to be secure, but in doing so I left you all alone, and I’m so fucking sorry. I was so stupid.” You sniffle, wiping your nose while trying to dry your cheeks. “Az, it’s fine. I, I get it. You were just trying to—”

“It’s not fine,” he breathes rawly, hand over his face as he rubs his eyes. “You needed me, and I wan’t there. And I can’t make up for that time. Fuck, I shouldn’t have left you like that. I’m so sorry.”

“Az…” you cry softly, trying to cover Val’s ears so she doesn’t wake.

He looks at you, hazel eyes glassy and red rimmed as he tries to pull himself together, to recompose himself for you. “Can you…do you think you can forgive me? I swear I won’t— I’ll never make such a stupid mistake again.”

“Az,” you sob, “I get it. Fuck, it hurt that you left like that, but how can I be mad when you were doing it to look after us?” The tears drip down your face, breathing in wet gasps as you try to pull it back in, wiping away the tears. “Of course I…of course it was difficult, but it came from a good place, Az. I won’t fault you for trying to look after us. I just— I just wish this hadn’t happened now. During the pregnancy, I mean.”

Azriel swallows thickly, grief clear on his face, looking more wrecked than when he’d first entered. “I’ll be better,” he manages quietly, still stood near the doorway, not wanting to impose if you don’t want him there in that moment. His heart simultaneously fractures and heals when he spots that stupid bracelet still kept around your wrist. He wonders if you’ve taken it off since he gave it to you.

“Az…” you sigh, tears still hot on your cheeks, not wanting to say what you have to. He stiffens at the tone, and it feels like you’ve already told him, hazel eyes devastated.

“Az, I think…I need some time.”

He holds completely still, but you’re practically able to see the world falling apart around him.

“It’s not…I don’t think it’s forever, but…for now. I can’t go back there. Into the basement,” you manage, lower lip wobbling, tugging down at the corners. “I’m sorry.”

“What does that mean?” He asks quietly, hardly a whisper. “Are we…do you not want the ring anymore?”

You shake your head. “I don’t know Az,” you cry, “I need time to think about it all. To figure how to go forward.”

He manages a slight nod of his head, breathing shallowly, then his eyes dip to the baby in your arms. “Can I…can I hold her?” He asks, brows curved desperately.

You nod, sniffling again, managing a small smile. “Yes. Yes, you can,” you breathe, trying to shift to make room for him as he walks over, and you turn Val over to face him.

Azriel settles on the sofa beside you, and you revel in that familiar dip of cushion, deprived of his familiarity for so long. It’s a subconscious shift for both of you, how he’s turned slightly toward you on the sofa, with you leaning into him as he holds your baby with reverent care, wincing at how his hands confront her youth.

“You can’t see them at the moment, but she’s got your eyes,” you murmur, moving closer to him still, taking in his familiar scent, nestling into his body, aching to feel him at your side again.

“She’s perfect,” he whispers, eyes growing glassy, and your smile becomes real and alive again. “She’s in good health too. The doctor’s said she was born at the expected weight, and they had nothing to be concerned over so long as she’s taken care of,” you add, head leaning against his shoulder.

Azriel glances over to you, and your breath catches. The proximity at last returned, alone and together in peace. “You did so well,” he whispers, hazel eyes swirling with emotion. “I’m glad you think so,” you whisper back, fighting off tears.

You settle back into quiet, both of you watching as Val continues sleeping, her little face calm and void of disturbance.

Neither of you really know how you end up holding your baby again, tucked into Azriel’s lap with his arms wrapped around both of you. Your head rests on his shoulder, fast asleep with Val comfortably held between you, both her parents at her swaddled fingertips.

Azriel holds both of you close long after his legs go numb, relieved he hasn’t entirely messed things up. He can’t have, if you’re allowing this. Allowing him to see the baby you made together, even after you had to make her practically on your own.

His arm shifts, thumb swiping over the beads of your bracelet, doubting it knows a surface other than your skin. You held onto it through the uncertainty, through the turbulence he unknowingly subjected you to. Never again.

He’ll never leave you on your own again. Especially not now you share a child.

Azriel’s lips brush against your temple, dropping a long, soft kiss to your skin.

He’ll be better this time. For both of you.

——————————————————————————————————————————————

general taglist: @myheartfollower @tcris2020 @mali22 @amygdtjhddzvb @sfhsgrad-blog @needylilgal022 @hannzoaks @hnyclover @skyesayshi @nyotamalfoy @decomposing-writer @soph1644

az taglist: @azrielshadows1nger @jurdanpotter @positivewitch @nightcourt-daydreaming @assassinsblade @marvelouslovely-barnes @v3lv3tf0x @kalulakunundrum @vellichor01 @throneofsmut @vickykazuya

[should-know-better]

Today I discovered that Alex Turner was not* in an official relationship both times that TLSP projects started.

Timelines:

Jan 2007 - Alex and Johanna Bennett break up

Feb - Mar 2007 - AM on tour with The Liitle Flames. Alex and Miles write together. (* Nb: they had written some songs at the end of 2006 too so technically I suppose he was in a relationship then but hardly saw her)

Apr 2007 and Jul 2007 - TAOTU demos done.

6-8 Jul 2007 - T in the Park. Alex and Alexa meet but she already has a boyfriend.

Aug 2007 - TAOTU recorded in France.

Oct 2007 - Q Awards. Alex and Alexa officially together for the first time.

Apr 2008 - TAOTU released.

End Jan 2014 - Alex and Arielle break up.

11-20 Apr 2014 - Alex and Miles go on a road trip to Coachella and listen to old TAOTU songs on the way. Miracle Aligner first strummed.

Rest of 2014 - Alex and Miles - Power Couple Era

Dec 2014 - Aviation written.

Mar 2015 - Alex and Taylor get together.

Summer 2015 - EYCTE recorded in Malibu.

April 2016 - EYCTE released.

This is all just a very long winded way of saying what I said at the beginning. However I thought the timeline made the history clearer (well it does for me). I’d never realised that Alex and Alexa weren’t properly together when TAOTU was recorded in France during that idyllic summer…

[fascinating-yarn]

So You Want To Know About Chess The Musical

So you want to know about Chess. The first piece of advice I have to give you is:

Step 0: Are you sure?

Because trust me, it's a whole lot weirder than you think, even if you know that the story is, in fact, only very little about chess (the board game). But if you are sure, because you have a friend who, like me, can't stop talking about it, then, you're ready to begin with step one.

Step 1: Listen to the concept album

Yes, there are plenty of recordings of the full show that are easily accessible on YouTube. Do not be fooled. With very minor exceptions, they will not elucidate anything at all. Trust me, even if your favorite actor is in one of them, start here. You will have time to get back to them later, trust me. It helps to read the synopsis of the album while listening; this has been kindly transcribed here by @alovebizarre.

Already hooked? Yeah, probably. Now you understand why all of us got stuck down here in our circle of complaining about this show. We, too, all thought it was going to be good based on the concept album.

Step 1.5: Watch the 1989 concert

This is mostly the songs of the concept album and retains the two male leads, but has Judy Kuhn playing Florence, the female lead. It's a strong concert and only cuts one song, and adds another ("Someone Else's Story", the show's only breakout hit not on the album). There is plot narration in Swedish, but one of the versions on YouTube has been subtitled in English

Step 2: Acquaint yourself with The Big Four

Now you know the music but the plot may still not be totally clear. The next step is to get to know the major variations. These are, generally:

The 1986 London version (and derivatives)

The 1988 Broadway version (and derivatives)

The 1990 Sydney version (there aren't really derivatives for this one but the material shows up Everywhere)

The 2002 Swedish version aka Chess på svenska (and derivatives)

Now, you can watch the original productions of all of these, but the issue is that the first two are both... not great. So here are some alternatives.

Step 2a: London Alternatives

The London version is mostly an expansion of the plot of the concept album, with changes - most of the structural changes were initiated by director Michael Bennett, who left the production before rehearsals due to his illness, while most of the more distinct changes of themes are from later director Trevor Nunn.

There are videos of the original production, but they're generally poorly filmed and suffer from major generation loss. There was no cast album, but the score has been recorded twice: in 2002 with the cast of a Danish touring production (released as "Chess: Complete Cast Album," but recalled soon after and not on streaming) and in 2008 at the Royal Albert Hall (this is on streaming as "Chess in Concert" - one of two albums of that name).

Any one will give you an idea of the script, but the original London production is generally the most musically cohesive. The Royal Albert Hall version has some minor script changes, most of which make no real difference, but makes some bizarre choices in terms of transition music and is generally a poorly produced album. The Danish album is likewise not very strong.

The Royal Albert Hall concert was professionally filmed but the audio is poorly mixed and the show's cast varies from a few great performances to some that are... not so much. It's also got a track record of making people either latch on immediately or be totally turned away from the show, so watch at your own risk. For a possibly better experience, watch the original London production.

Step 2b: Broadway Alternatives

The original Broadway production still has a bit of a bad reputation in the fandom, but people have generally warmed up to it. The new book, by American playwright Richard Nelson, is generally strong (if a bit overlong) until about halfway through Act Two --- at which point it suddenly isn't anymore. The original production itself doesn't help, and though there are some good moments, it was not very well directed and some of Nelson's best scenes suffer.

Firstly, you should listen to the Broadway cast album. The cast is the best part of the show and does some incredible things. The new music isn't quite as good as the original material, but is still strong and worth knowing.

In terms of the actual book, your best chance at a good experience experience is probably the 1990 Long Beach production directed by David H. Bell and starring Jodi Benson, which has a watchable video online. There are some script changes, which serve to adjust the script to be less cynical, more palatable, and better paced. After this, do go back and watch the original cast, as it generally has a stronger overall cast and some scenes are genuinely great with them.

Step 2c: Sydney and Svenska

The Sydney production closed early due to the economic recession in Australia, and the script has never been revived, but parts of it appear all over the place, especially in the London derivatives of the early 1990s. It takes bits of the plots of both London and Broadway, and becomes its own thing. It is worth knowing, and there is a mostly bearable bootleg on YouTube.

If Sydney is its own thing for being a combination of London and Broadway, Svenska is its own thing because it resembles neither. The plot is streamlined to the essentials and takes place over a much shorter period of time, plus it has two new songs. There is a proshot that has been uploaded to YouTube with subtitles, and a very good cast album. There have been some productions since based on the script, but the original is still going to be your best starting point.

Step 3: Into The Abyss

There are so many other productions and they're all a little different from each other. Most are based on London or Broadway, but some are an odd combination resulting from people who wanted to produce the London version in the US being forced to retrofit the Broadway version (unavailable for US licensing until 2008). A non-exhaustive list is:

1992 Off-Broadway: Preserved only in an incomplete, poor-quality audio bootleg, plus a slightly more complete script from a lost recording, this script is Tim Rice's first (but not last) attempt at making something definitive post-Broadway. It is one of the most bizarre scripts out there and should really be experienced late to be fully appreciated.

1990 US Tour: An early attempt to jump off the Broadway script into something new, this production stars 42.9% of the original Broadway cast of Falsettos and has some wild stuff. Don't watch till you know Broadway, since it has been known to sour people's opinions on the show.

2003 Actors' Fund Benefit Concert: This one-night only concert is preserved on a leaked (but poor quality) archival video and a higher quality rehearsal performance. The script is an attempted hybrid of the London and Broadway scripts, but leans mostly on the London script with a few Broadway changes that serve really only to stay within the legal requirements of production still in place at the time (and doubly important due to Nelson's personal support of the concert).

2018 Kennedy Center Concert Series/2022 Entertainment Workers' Fund Benefit Concert: This script was eyeing Broadway for about five years but is no longer in the works as the rights were pulled. With a new book by Danny Strong, based on the London plot but with the details changed significantly, this production takes a more overtly political spin on the show and grounds it in actual political events. Start with the 2018 version, as it's generally agreed to be better than the later concert version.

2018 London Revival: To call this production a revival is generous, being staged by the English National Opera for a limited run and generally not being considered very important. It became well known mostly for being associated with the Kennedy Center production and the general knowledge that Rice was looking to bring the show back to Broadway. Despite that, this script is entirely unrelated to the Kennedy Center version and is mostly an onstage expansion of the concept album with the show being influenced heavily by Benny and Bjorn.

With all of these I have but one piece of final advice and that is:

Step 4: Be wary of The Discourse

This is not meant to scare you away from the fandom at all. I promise we're all very friendly and most of the discussions are quite civil. But every fan has very strong opinions about this show. I have tried to present this post as neutrally as possible but my bias has absolutely creeped in and you've already been influenced by my opinions on it. Some productions (notably the Kennedy Center script) are very divisive and I encourage you to consume them yourself and forming your own opinions.

And that is how to get into Chess. If you want to. It may not be the wisest decision, but hey, we all made the same mistake.

[backmarkerr]

please....can u speak on the conspiracy

So the conspiracy (more like a theory, really) is that Kimi was pushed out of the team starting in 2008 to make way for Fernando, who was more appealing to the big sponsor coming in. Before you click out thinking "Max, that's stupid, no team would throw a championship for a sponsor." I agree! But keep in mind that they didn't throw the championship, they fully expected to win the WDC with Felipe (and almost did) and did in fact win the WCC in 2008 with Felipe and Kimi despite everything. But there were really suspicious things going on. So with that in mind...

It's 2008. Kimi has just won Malaysia, the second race of the season. Three days after his win, there's this:

.

Ok, kinda weird, but whatever. F1 runs on rumours, right? Suggesting that Kimi might retire when he's doing so well is silly. And in the article they seem to be pretty ambivalent over whether it would be Felipe or Kimi to leave.

Fast forward to Spain two races later. Kimi scores his second win of the season and takes the championship lead. The season is shaping up pretty well for the defence of the title, you’d think this would be a good time for him, but again, the story du jour is Ferrari wanting Alonso in Kimi’s seat for 2009.

[x] I guess now we know at least Massa's seat is secure...?

If you’re like me, that sounds stupid. The reigning champion just won the last GP and his contract runs until the end of 2010, so this media narrative makes no sense. Something pretty catastrophic would have to happen for that to ever come to fruition, right?

So anyway, he gets a first row start in Monaco. Great, that's almost a surefire win/points, right? Wrong, he got a drive-through penalty due to the team not fitting the wheels to the car on time before the race start. Not a great race and he ends up outside of the points. Lewis is now ahead in the WDC by 3 points. Not really a disaster, but...

[x] what on earth...

[x] again the talk of retirement.... I mean, it's weird, right?

Zero points in Canada due to being rear-ended in the pitlane, which the team can’t control. Then he’s back to being neck to neck with his teammate and Lewis by the time the British GP is done in early July, with all three drivers on 48 points. Good news, right? Just gotta stay on track and not fuck it up somehow.

[x] sigh... (this one's a little harder to source as it was printed media, but I've seen this exact interview quoted in different pages)

So anyway, they change his front suspension for the next race in Germany. Kimi has always been very sensitive to changes in the car, so he knew something was wrong. Ferrari (via Michael, who was then head of development) say he's just not adapting well to the upgrades. Maybe, sure, but why aren't you bringing upgrades that are geared towards your world champion?

(an interesting remark from Mark Hughes here if you scroll down to the comments, which adds weight to Kimi not being listened to when it came to car development in 2008)

Bar a podium in Hungary, Kimi scores 0 points in 4 out of the next 5 races. It takes until either Monza or Singapore (hello crashgate!) for Ferrari to put his suspension back as it was.

He proceeds to get 3 podiums in the remaining 3 races but it’s not enough to catch up. By Singapore he was already 27 points behind his teammate (reminder this is the old points system) and very much expected to play the supporting role. In the penultimate race in China he very obviously gave up P2 to his teammate:

"I know what the team expects." [x] / [x]

Yet the narrative in the media and from Ferrari themselves is that his motivation is bad and he's not assertive. It was so pervasive that to this day people still parrot it and say he just didn’t care after 2007, despite Kimi always stating he was fully committed and clearly getting annoyed whenever journalists asked about his motivation even years later.

Montezemolo at the end of 2008 even 'joked' that "Kimi in the recent races was replaced two or three times by a friend, but next year he'll be back." Basically saying that Kimi wasn't really present, you know? An interesting thing to say when this absent driver scored 18 points in the last 3 races (three consecutive P3s), while the one who was amazing and had the team's full backing scored 20 (P7, P2, P1).

A whole 2 points' difference, maybe someone should hire that "friend"...

So why did they do this?

Well, the theory is that Santander (I promise this isn’t like the dumb Sainztander takes) wanted a Spanish-Brazilian lineup due to financial interests (Spanish bank, big market in South America with a looming IPO in Brazil), so Kimi was basically being pressured out of the team from early 2008 onwards. Like I said at the start, the team weren’t really throwing away 2008, as they expected to win the WCC with both drivers (they did) and Massa to be able to win the WDC, which would of course be beneficial for their new sponsor. And he almost did. Almost.

[x] they're not in charge of driver selection but this specific driver line-up would good for them. (this archived copy of the article is from 2010, but the text makes it clear it's from 2009)

Of course at this point we have to wonder if a team like Ferrari would bow down to a sponsor's demands. I can't tell you what the internal considerations were or how much money was on the line, but it's also not like Santander were telling them to get rid of Kimi for a bad driver, you know? Fernando is a great driver, so from Ferrari's perspective they were just trading a great driver for another great driver who also appealed to this huge sponsor, and an Alonso-Massa line-up would be solid. And with the previous talk that Ferrari and Alonso had already inked a deal in 2008... It's just difficult to believe there isn't a grain of truth here.

So the alleged initial plan of having Alonso in 2009 was foiled when Kimi activated the renewal option in his contract. It was then that he was bought out of his last year (apparently paid for by Santander).

[from the book The Unknown Kimi Raikkonen]

As we can see, by the end Kimi was also fed up with what was going on, especially people pointing the finger at him and at his motivation, and his frustration is very clear in interviews like here at 2.35 and here:

Publicly, Ferrari said they wanted someone more in line with how Michael used to be (ironic since Montezemolo allegedly didn’t like how Michael made the team his), who could communicate with the team and give better feedback (ironic when Todt, Dyer, Stella and others said Kimi was very clear and precise.) Kimi himself has always stated that he wasn’t the issue, that his motivation was never lacking and that the real reason he was pushed out was politics and money.

[x]

[x]

If it had only been the mechanical stuff, I’d be willing to chalk it up to just bad luck and incompetence. Shit happens. But with all the rumours around it even before things went bad on the track and Kimi stating that his work and performance weren't the reason he was let go it becomes impossible for me to think there wasn’t an actual push going on to replace him.

Hell, even famed Ferrari fanboy Sebastian Vettel didn't think it was realistic for Kimi to return to Ferrary in 2014 precisely because Kimi isn't one for "bullshit" and "politics". Why would he choose to say that specifically? And according to Finnish media Kimi’s 2014 Ferrari negotiations included Montezemolo personally apologising to him. Now why would he apologise if they hadn’t done something wrong?

Personally I think Kimi's "certain people did certain things" refers to this. He never trashed anyone and always said he had no ill-feelings. And I believe him. But it doesn't mean nothing happened, lest we forget how well he handled Lotus not paying him.

The thing that really bothers me is that Kimi got the reputation for having low motivation and not caring about what he was doing (I heard that take just last month from an F1 youtuber, how Fernando was hired in 2010 because Kimi had mentally checked out 🙄), when obviously someone who wasn’t motivated and didn’t care would have simply called it quits under these circumstances. Instead he got P3 in the standings in 2008 (I know he’s talented, but he must have been trying at least a little), trained hard to lose enough weight to use KERS in 2009 (why would he do that if he didn’t care) and took the team’s only win that year despite the car being shit. Interestingly, pundits acknowledged his good performance complicated things when it came to Ferrari’s rumoured hiring of Alonso. So imagine how much more complicated things would have been had Kimi done better in 2008?

Anyway, this is long, but if you want something longer then I definitely recommend this post here. You might not agree completely with the original authors (there are parts where I wish there was more info), but I think they offer a lot of good research and information regarding the overall situation back in 2008/2009, and it's a good jump-off point for your own research.

But yeah. 2008 could have been everything. Or at least better.

[toki-hotel]

Can you please write more on sub bill? Like maybe a fic about female reader getting mad because bill keeps teasing reader in a interview or while around the band and reader gets mad and decides to punish bill and he’s very needy but reader absolutely refuses to let him touch her but gives in on all the whining and crying and also the 2008’s bill please!!!

YES I've got you ;)

Warnings: SMUT 18+, sub!Bill, dacryphilia, kind of public touching, spit, edging, fem!reader

It started early in the morning, at 6 to be exact. Before your alarm could even go off, there was incessant knocking on your hotel room door. Blurry-eyed, you stumble out of bed to glance through the peephole.

Bill is standing on the other side in a black top and flannel pajama pants. Bare-faced and hair undone, he somehow looks wide awake.

"Bill? What are you doing here? It's too early." You groan and attempt to rub some sleep out of your eyes.

"I wanted to see you, I woke up an hour ago but couldn't fall back asleep." He sighs and leans on the ajar door. Pleading brown eyes bare down into yours.

Glancing back at the red illuminating clock sitting on the nightstand, you groan again, knowing that Bill won't like your response. "I have to start getting ready, and you do too! We have interviews at 8."

"I know, but just for a little bit..." He leans closer to you.

"No. Go get ready and we can talk later." You stand your ground knowing that a little bit would turn into a while. You don't want to hear any more bandmates' complaints about taking so long to get ready in the morning.

With a 'fine' grumbled under his breath he slumps back to the elevators at the end of the hall. You can start to predict what the rest of the day will entail from this single interaction, having experienced it many times before. Bill has days of being needy. You try your best to be there for him, but it tends to get out of control if you don't put your foot down at certain times, and this was one of those moments. A day full of interviews was your guys' schedule so you knew that you would have to work your way around it to appease him.

~

As expected, Bill continued his antics. The car ride consisted of him squeezing in next to you, he tried to talk to you, but most of it was one-sided. The lack of sleep and sudden awakening had put your head in a hazy mindset. You listened and most of your responses were ones of few words.

The half hour breakfast break you had was cherished by the band. Tour managers still used it to discuss the upcoming interviews, but Bill didn't seem to care. His mind was elsewhere.

The entire group was sitting at a large table in the dining hall. With plates filled of breakfast food you sit by one another, Bill across from you. It started with him stealing food off your plate, knowing he's looking for a response you play along and tell him off, but go back to listening to the manager's rundown of the day.

He didn't like this.

You almost choke on the water you were sipping when you feel a foot bumping into yours, not so lightly too. You look up to the offender in front of you. Brown eyes are already pointed at you with mischief and an evil smirk. You give him the dirtiest glare you can muster, but this only seems to make his smirk grow more. The foot drags itself up your ankle and to the inside of your calf. Knowing that all he wants is more of your attention you look away again.

This only spurs him on more. The same appendage slowly works its way to your knee and inner thigh, but you hold strong and nod along to what George says. Bill seems to calm down and let it linger, minutes pass and you begin to assume that this is what he wanted: to touch you while he is forced to be distant from you.

The boot jumps to the front of your pants. A zing of electricity runs from your heat, up your spine to the back of your head. That asshole! You can't help but jump in your seat at the sudden movement and when you whip your head to Bill he isn't even looking at you. He's also nodding along to what the others are saying, his chin is resting on his palm, but his hand is barely covering the laugh that breaks through.

"Excuse me. I'm just gonna run to the washroom." Standing up the chair screeches behind you. Not waiting for a response from the others, you give a pointed look to the man who can't seem to leave you alone for five minutes.

Bill Excuses himself too and trails behind your fleeting form. Excitement is running through him and he can't help but picture all the things you could do to him. The dirty looks you gave him had his heart picking up. When you decided to ignore him AGAIN, he knew he had to up his antics.

He jogs to catch up to your body turning a corner into a quiet hallway. Once you know you guys are alone you whip back around. You knew he was following you, his jewelry clinked while he ran.

"What is wrong with you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Everything you were doing back there! Can you behave for a few hours? I told you we can talk once the interviews are done!" You cross your arms and look up at Bill.

"I don't know what you're talking about..." The tall man shrugs and crosses his arms as well.

A deep sigh is taken to calm the nerves brewing. "Don't play with me right now," you try to relax but the lack of sleep and anxiety about the interviews is making it hard, "please." With that, you cut around him and head back to the dining hall.

Bill is not satisfied though. Usually, you would do something to keep him satiated for a while. Hold his hand, give him a small kiss, or talk with him for a while. He isn't used to this lack of attention from you and he is starting to get mad himself. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. The conversation wasn't supposed to end here.

~

Time has passed and Bill seemed to cut it down a notch. Small touches were still made here and there, but nothing dramatic like before.

Until after the first interview.

The team had a small 30 min. break until the next one. Entering into the next room, Gustav and George crash onto the couch. Tom finds his way to the snack table and cracks into a bottle of Coke. You're currently discussing with one of your managers how the first interview went and what was to come with the next.

Bill found his way to the couch, but without taking his eyes off of you. Thoughts about your last encounter kept flashing in his mind. He loved seeing you heated and the neediness he felt since waking up this morning only seemed to grow. His eyes traced up and down your figure. A heat started in his lower stomach.

Memories of past times entered next. How soft you felt in his hands, the way you tasted, and how you touched him. Bill couldn't take it anymore. When you broke away from the manager and made your way to the snack table he saw his next opportunity. He jumped from his spot and trailed after you again.

Your discussion with the manager only helped a little to ease your anxiety. The bottle of water on the table seemed to catch your eye and you made your way to it. You noticed Bill coming up too and smiled at him. Maybe you were too harsh.

"Hey." He stood behind you and rested his head on your shoulder. You mumbled a response back and took a sip of the water. "I miss you," he whined and wrapped his arms around you.

"I know, but after this next interview we have a few hours to relax back at the hotel." You reach your hand back to pet the mane of hair.

"We have some time now..." Bill pulls the hand away from the back of his head and puts it between you guys. His cock is hard and pressing into the back of your hand. " I just need you so bad. I can't stop thinking about you." Your jaw drops at his sudden change of demeanor. A heat starts in your lower stomach as well, a reflection of Bill's. What you thought was an innocent interaction switched into something completely different.

"Bill! What have I been telling you all morning?" You glare back at him this time and that same smirk has crept its way to his face. Black-rimmed eyes burn into your E/C ones. He laughs right in your shocked face and the silver of his tongue ring glints.

You pull your hand away from his tight grip and walk away. Plopping down onto the couch this time, you cross your arms and try to ignore the burning in your cheeks. Gustav and George are a little shocked at the sudden third addition to the couch but shrug and carry on with their conversation.

Bill stands satisfied at the snack table. Picking up your abandoned water bottle, he takes a gulp of water and licks his lips. Yet, he is still upset that you haven't really touched him.

~

The final straw for you is at the second interview. After fuming for the rest of the short break, you and the band file into another room to start the questions. All seems to be going well until the last question.

"How does touring affect your relationships with one another? Do you fight a lot?" The bands' responses are all reasonable, but of course, Bill has to open his big mouth.

"Y/N does get into moods though, she likes to ignore us!"

Your jaw drops at this accusation. While Tom snorts at this you lean past him to shoot Bill another one of your dirty looks, but he just grins right back at you.

Thats it. You've had enough and decide to get your revenge back at the hotel.

~

The car ride went by quick. You decided to sit as far away from Bill to avoid any more interactions. Once you got back to the hotel, you started to take advantage of the next free hours. The other guys retreated to their respective rooms to get some more sleep, but Bill follows you to yours.

You shut the door and he is already reaching for you.

"No," you grab the wrists that are in front of you, "I think I'm in one of my moods right now, and that means I'm ignoring you." It's your turn to start grinning at him.

"I was only kidding!" He sighs and watches you walk around him. You start taking off your jewelry and set it on the nightstand. He reaches for you again, but you just ignore him and dodge his touch again. "I didn't mean it." He pleads to you, tilting his head down to catch your eyes, but you just shrug your shoulders and carry on to take off your earrings.

Clink. Clink.

"Please," Bill wraps his arms back around your waist and nuzzles his head into the crook of your neck. To be honest, you've wanted him since the moment you saw his pretty face on the other side of the door but you have to stay strong. He can't get away with not listening to you, especially when he is so boldly defiant about it. "I'm sorry. I just need you so bad it makes me crazy!"

You turn around with a sigh and cross your arms. His eyes are pleading to you and you try your best to ignore how cute he looks. "Are you really being this needy right now? I've tried to be reasonable with you, but you can't even wait a couple of hours! You keep acting out and then you expect me to give you what you want?" You move to take off your bracelets and rings now.

Clink. Clink. Clink.

"Please. Please. Please." Bill grabs your hand and kisses your finger and trails them to your wrist. You can't lie about how good it feels to have him touch you, his soft lips trailing up your arm, past your shoulder, into the crook of your neck. "I'll be so good from now on. I just need you to touch me."

"Ok, but you'll take what I give you." You pull his head to yours and slot your lips together. He sighs his promise into the kiss and grabs your waist, pulling you close. He's sloppy and quick with his movements. Hands grab at anything they can reach.

You turn Bill around and walk yourselves to the bed. "Strip," You pull away and watch him pull his black t-shirt over his head. A long and lean torso is revealed along with the black star on his hip. A studded belt is next along with his boots and jeans.

Bill can't hold back the excitement that is bubbling within him. He's finally getting what he needed from you and the throbbing is making his head fuzzy. His lips feel swollen from the heated kisses and his breathing is picking up.

You crawl over him and take in the sight before you. Bill's brown puppy dog eyes take in your features and you can't wait to ruin him.

"Do you want me to touch you?"

"Yes," he pants out.

"Where," your lean your lips down to his and let the question brush out against him. He moves to grab one of your hands that is holding your weight beside his head, but you refuse to let him move you. "No, tell me where." Bill lets out a small cry at this and finally tells you.

"Anywhere. Everywhere!"

You coo out at this and brush some of his hair away from his face. The touch trails down his neck and chest, brushing past one of his nipples that makes his breathing jump, it ends at the waistband of his boxers. You pepper kisses to follow the same path as before and work down his body.

Bill is trying his best to be good, but all the emotions are bubbling up inside of him.

"Let's take these off." you slip the boxers down and watch his cock jump back up to slap his stomach. You lean down to lick a long stripe from the base to tip and watch up at him to see his head tilt back and his hips buck into you. You loved to see him get worked up

"Please..." He whimpers when you sit back up.

"You said you would take what I give you, If you're not gonna be good like you promised then I will stop right now."

"NO! No. I'll be good, just please don't stop."

"Good. Now spit." You hold your palm out beside his mouth and he does what you say. You slip your hand up and down his hot length, enjoying the way his eyebrows scrunch up at the pleasure.

Small whimpers make their way out of his mouth and his hands fist the bed sheets. His breathing picks up the faster you go and you lean over once more to spit on his cock. Bill's hips jump again from this and a loud moan tumble from his mouth. You can see that he's getting close, but you're not done with him.

German swears are whispered under his breath and his eyes are rolling back. "Look at me," you call out to him and he does. Tears are starting to well up in them. "Awe, why are you crying?"

"Feels good." And it does. He just can't help it with how he has been feeling all morning. This release that is building up is exactly what he needs.

But it doesn't come. You pull your hand away at the last second and watch his head snap back up to yours.

"No, no, noooo." Bill cries out and the tears start flowing. Black makeup runs down his cheeks.

"You said that you would take what I give you."

"I know, but I need to cum so bad." Bill grabs your thighs that are spread out on either side of him. The painted nails press into the soft flesh and leave crescents in their wake.

"I know and you will...If you're good."

"Yes, yes, yes." He chants over and over, replying to you and your touch that has started up again. His whines break free like his tears and flow throughout the hotel room. His cock is hard and throbbing in your hands, the tan tip a red hue. "Fuck, I'm close again." It takes no time for him to be at the edge and this time you grant him mercy.

"Look at me, Bill." He lifts his head and holds eye contact with you. "Good, now you can cum." It drops back to the mattress with his eyes rolling into his head.

Swears that you have trouble making out leave his lips and his hips buck so hard that they jostle you. Bill's cum spurts out in white lines across his stomach and your hand.

As he comes down from his high you press soft kisses across his damp cheeks and lips, whispering kind words to him. You wait for the heavy breathing to settle before you get up and grab a wet cloth to clean each other off. After disposing of it in the hotel washroom you come back to see him curled up in the bed sheets on his side. You crawl in behind him and wrap your arm across his lean waist.

"Are you feeling better?" You whisper into the back of his neck.

"Mhm, just not looking forward to the rest of the interviews today."

"Oh God, I forgot about them." You sigh and he laughs at your reaction. Bill and you spend the next few hours cuddled up and enjoying your time together.

[suzuran777]

Nitro Chiral April Fools’, 2005 - 2021

Nitro Chiral recently announced that they will probably not create any new content for April Fools’ in the future. I remember really looking forward to this every year, so I was a bit sad to hear that...! They mentioned that they might change this decision again some day, so we will just have to wait and see... To remember all of the fun jokes they’ve created throughout the years I wanted to make a fun compilation of all their previous April Fools’ jokes (or at least the ones I remember and took screenshots of). Maybe someone already posted something similar, but I had a lot of fun looking at these old pictures again! 

2005 Togainu no Chi 'Vischio Jack'. This was just one month after Togainu no Chi was released! Nitro Chiral’s website was filled with Arbitro’s hobbies. He announced that the next game will be called ‘Makeinu no Chi’ which means ‘blood of the losers’... The new main visual also shows all of them bleeding from their noses lol.

Some interesting new items... the Shiki body pillow?

2006 A year later Arbitro hijacked the official website once more and comments on each Lamento character. He seems to be a fan of Konoe but the others aren't his type... This blog describes it in greater detail (Japanese only). Second part of the website teases the Togainu no Chi fighting game (咎狗の血 餓狗 Mark of the Dogs). I kind of wish they really made this game because the description of it sounds fun.

2007 Lamento Love Love Gakuen, which was later made into a real drama CD also started as an April Fools' joke! Asato is Konoe’s childhood friend in this, Rai the student council president and Bardo’s a health education teacher. 

You can still listen to some of the audio clips from the original page here! The plot doesn’t seem much different than the real drama CD they ended up making later. 

2009 Nitro Chiral mentioned they couldn’t do anything for April Fools’ 2008, but they were back in 2009 with..one of the weirder ones. They posted a teaser of their new game, ‘Sweet Potchari’ which literally means ‘sweet chubby’ and as the name suggests, they posted art of all of the sweet pool characters, but this time they’re chubby.

You could check the profile description of each character and Kunihito’s description mentions that he’s very charming and “both men and women love him” lol. I unfortunately don’t have any high quality versions of these wallpapers anymore. Someone also recorded the voice lines, though listen to it at your own risk.

2010 This time Nitro Chiral announces a new project called 'YO! Akira'. It’s Togainu no Chi except all of the characters are replaced by mannequins and they’re kinda terrifying. They made videos in which they re-created part of the opening and the game, which someone actually saved and uploaded, so you can still watch it here...! The whole thing is a parody of Japanese sketch comedy series 'Oh! Mikey!!' which focuses on an American family living in Japan, but all the characters are played by mannequins.

This blog has some more pictures of what the website looked like. The day after this Nitro Chiral made a blog post about maybe spending too much time creating these April Fools’ jokes, but it seems like they had fun! They also had no idea what to do with the mannequins after this.

2012 I think they skipped 2011 because I cannot find any information about it, so let’s move on to 2012! Arbitro took over the Nitro+Chiral website again and changed it to Bitro+Chiral...

You could play this short visual novel on the website in which Arbitro introduced his new product line-up. A hataki (feather duster) shaped like Konoe’s tail, a life-sized Akira statue made of chocolate, Onnushi-sama's curry, and blue butter which is supposed to decrease you appetite so you don't have to eat anymore. After looking at these last two pictures I think I don’t feel hungry anymore...

This is also the year DRAMAtical Murder was released, so they changed the website too! Now it’s DRAMAtical Mother, which is of course referencing the Mother series (Earthbound). You can find some more screenshots and information here.

Aoba got his own Twitter account too this year, which someone also archived here! The Twitter account actually still exists but I believe they locked it after April Fools’ ended. 

2013 This year they focused on DRAMAtical Murder too! They transformed the website into Junkshop Heibon's webstore (the store Aoba works at in the game). It feels kind of nostalgic... 

That same year they also released a radio show in which Aoba and Mizuki work for Midorijima Radio Station. They invite Koujaku, Noiz, Clear, and Mink as special guests. This has been uploaded and fan translated, so I definitely recommend checking it out here! They also ended up selling this as a CD later.

2014 This is one I remember very well because I remember playing the short game they released. It's called ‘Osu-Boys!! ~Ikemen Ryoujoku ☆ Paradise~’ and it's a short visual novel which features the four protagonists, except they're all really clumsy and end up in some really embarrassing situations... I am guessing the artstyle is supposed to be similar to KyoAni’s Free! anime.

I don’t think I can show the full pictures here because the CGs of this game are quite NSFW, but you can probably still find them somewhere online. Aoba worked at an adult goods shop in this game though, nice new job (?). Unlike the browser games, this one could be downloaded, so some people probably still have it.

2015 Arbitro once again returns and opens his own 'hentai' museum.... yeah. Someone uploaded the theme song they made for the website, you can find it here. I believe it’s supposed to be a parody of ‘Atami Hihokan’ (an adult museum).

The website shows a map of the museum and its facilities, some more pictures can be found here. I think the art of the mascots is pretty cute this time...

You could also play this minigame on the website which also featured the four protagonists. There’s still a video of someone playing through the game, so definitely check it out if you’re interested. The artstyle has a bit of a retro feel.

2016 This year the website turned into the 'Raira-ryuu honpo' official homepage, an art school that specializes in the traditional art of ...boys love. All of the characters are drawn like famous Ukiyo-e paintings.

All of the ones above are Tōshūsai Sharaku paintings, so it was pretty easy to find which ones they were referencing!

They also re-drew all of the game covers too and the descriptions of the games were pretty funny. Midorijima was transformed into a big red-light district and the people who lived there were kicked out and are now living in poverty. I hope you’re surviving, Aoba...

This time there was also a flash game which could be played on the website, a shunga (erotic painting) puzzle. You can find all of these pictures here. Like the previous year they are heavily censored and not really NSFW. 

2017 This time the April Fools’ joke is a parody of 'The World of GOLDEN EGGS', a Japanese animation series set in an American-style fictional town, except this time it’s called ‘BOYs LOVE Nitro+CHiRAL’. I’m assuming most people who have been in the fandom for some time remember this one. They created a short YouTube video series and it had English subs. You can still find the videos if you look for them on YouTube so please watch them...! It’s all worth it for Konoe singing ‘I’m in Blue’ and the Rhyme fight.

Youji is always the victim of these awkward conversations... Some more pictures here! You can find the YouTube videos by just searching for the title of the series mentioned above.

2019 After 2017 they stopped updating their website on April Fools’, probably because they were busy working on Slow Damage, but in 2019 they did post some extra illustrations. Not the most happy kind of illustrations, featuring the protagonists and Naito-kun apologizing because they couldn’t do anything for April Fools’ that year...

2021 Unfortunately this is the last one! 2021 is the year Slow Damage was released, so it makes sense the final April Fools' joke focuses on them. It's called 'Warau Euphoria', which means ‘laughing euphoria’. It’s a reference to Japanese series 'The Laughing Salesman', so they're also drawn in a similar artstyle. 

The website has a warning that you need to be over 35 years old to enter instead of the usual 18+ warning lol. They also got Towa’s voice actor to record a couple of new lines on the webpage, if you click here you can still listen to a recording of it.

I’m a bit sad they might not do any of this stuff anymore in the future, but I’m also glad many people recorded videos of the old websites and minigames so we can still enjoy them even now. I couldn’t include every single screenshot in this blog post, so I tried my best to link other pages with more information.

I had a lot of fun checking out their website every year and I really appreciate the effort they put into all of this. I might update this blog with some additional info later!

[putschki1969]

📢UPDATE📢"sprinter" LIVE AUDIO

Thank you to everyone who voted in my poll and left a comment in the reply section of my previous post on the matter. I was intrigued when @gslin sent me a link to this audio but I had no idea it would spark so much interest.

I received two very enlightening messages today that provided some substantial evidence. With the added information, I now feel confident that I can clarify the situation. This will hopefully clear up some of the confusion.

The first lovely follower (who would like to remain anonymous) sent me their personal recording of the live in question. They have been a fan for a very long time and got the chance to attend the concert back in 2008. First up, a big apology. I wish I could post the recording but they asked me not to share it so I will respect that. However, I've been given permission to talk about it so here's what I've been able to find out〈(•ˇ‿ˇ•)-→

Just in case you are wondering, there's no doubt in my mind that my follower's bootleg is legit. You can tell immediately that this was recorded from within the audience. There's clapping all around and the music is considerably louder than the vocals. You can still make out the song pretty well though. None of the voices sound off or out of place. It's blended together pretty well without losing the distinct vocal colours of the individual singers. Which is why I know that this can only be from the YKL Vol.#2 front act performance since you can clearly make out Maya during her "bokura ni dekiru koto wa tada" line and some other parts. From what we know, no other live performances of "sprinter" have featured Maya.

For the past hour or so, I've been listening to different versions of the song on repeat, mostly focusing on the YouTube audio and the newly acquired bootleg. While the bootleg is of admittedly quite low-quality, there are two things that very clearly set it apart from the version on YouTube. Those two obvious differences make it absolutely impossible for the recordings to be from the same live performance. And since we've already established that Maya was not present for any other "sprinter" performances, we can easily conclude that the YouTube audio is fake.

Difference #1: Absence of the infamous guitar riff. @octopusofpaint already mentioned this in the reply section of my original post. The YouTube audio has a pretty blunt opening whereas the bootleg recording starts with the guitar riff we are all so familiar with. It's hard to know how audios are cut/edited so I'd be willing to let this slide if it weren't for the next difference.

Difference #2: In the authentic bootleg recording of YKL Vol.#2, one of the final lines, "naite sakende kiete yuku bokura wa", is sung by no other than (!!)Keiko(!!). That is very surprising since it is usually not one of her lines. Look up any random official live performance of "sprinter", starting as early as 2009 on the NHK program Pop Up Japan, you'll absolutely never hear Keiko sing that line. You know who has always been in charge of it since becoming a three-person-unit? Wakana!! Now let's listen closely to the YouTube audio again, shall we? Whose voice do we hear? I'm giving you a hint! It's not Keiko's! But it's not Wakana's either!! Surprise, surprise, it's Hikaru's!! And do you know where Hikaru sings this line? Only in the studio version (and most recently during Kalafina covers at YKL but with a notably different voice so I won't take that into account here). And you know what else is very specific to the studio version? The lyrical cold open without a guitar riff. This leads me to believe that the studio version was almost certainly one of the main sources for this awkward mash-up on YouTube.

Now onto the second message I received today. This time from my lovely follower @concretebadger. Thank you so much! Many of you speculated that the 2010 live performance might have served as an inspiration for this supposed "unreleased" audio track. And I think you were not wrong about this. While I do believe that the studio version might have been the "main" source, I do think that the creator needed to add something else to make it sound more like a live performance. This is where the 2010 Red Moon version comes in. @concretebadger actually took the time to mash up the two tracks for a comparison and the result makes it quite clear that the two audios are eerily similar. Check it out for yourself〈(•ˇ‿ˇ•)-→

If you use the studio version and Red Moon live version as base layers and then add a few tweaks here and there to distort certain sections in order to make them appear more raw and unedited, you basically end up with that mysterious track that's currently floating around on YouTube. The previously mentioned line "naite sakende kiete yuku bokura wa" might actually be a good example for the layering/mashup of those two sources. While you can definitely identify Hikaru's vocals during that part in the YouTube audio (indicating the usage of the studio version as base), there seems to be a slightly different texture to her voice that makes it sound almost ethereal. This is most likely due to Wakana's singing of the line being added to the mix. It's very subtle and Hikaru's vocals are certainly more prominent but it's worth mentioning.

Anyway. Mystery solved. At least for me. Maybe you still have some thoughts on it. Feel free to share them below.

[fuckyeaharthuriana]

mordred through time (movies, tv shows, opera and musicals)

Part 4: From 2014 to 2017

Other Parts: Part 1: From 1949 to 1981 -> here Part 2: From 1982 to 2002 -> here Part 3: From 2002 to 2010 -> here Part 5: From 2018 to 2023

For this part I just wanted to talk a bit about sympathetic Mordred.

Through time we started to see a more sympathetic Mordred. I think the first iteration in audio/movies/tv was the the Blind Guardian's song in 1995. For the first time we have Mordred as a protagonist, mainly lamenting of regret, pain and lonliness. While I do not know why they decided to focus on Mordred, it is also notable that writing a more sympathetic Mordred was already happening in novels, around the same time. I used the arthurian list of novels I made so I might have missed any, but at this time we have 1956 "The Great Captains" by Henry Treece, "Sword at Sunset" by Sutcliff, "The Wicked Day" (the first novel focusing on Mordred as protagonist) by Mary Stewart, 1982 "The Idylls of the Queen" (Phyllis Ann Karr), 1983 "The Mists of Avalon" (Marion Zimmer Bradley), Persia Wolley's 1987 Guinevere trilogy, 1988 "The road to Avalon" by Joan Wolf and 1988 "The Book of Mordred" by Hanratty all depicting Mordred as a more round character, as someone the reader can feel sympathy too or even enjoy or relate to.

A slighty sympathetic but still villanous potrayal can then be found in 2001 ("The Mists of Avalon" miniseries) but we have to wait till 2008 ("Merlin", BBC) to have a tv Mordred who is actually shown trying to do the right thing (at least for a bit), and working with Arthur. I think this is more due to the fact that "Merlin" often tries to depict villains' origins and motivations than a real conscious attempt to redeem Mordred or make him less villanous.

Other following examples are the kid movie 2010 "Merlin and Arthur the Lion King" and the album 2014 "High Noon Over Camelot" that positions Mordred in a co-protagonist role and fully allows the listeners to empathyze with him. The Fate franchise (the introduction of Mordred should be around 2012 in the novels) continues on this trajectory, making Mordred a main sympathetic and beloved protagonist in many of the adaptations.

2014 High Noon Over Camelot album by The Mechanisms: The song I used is "Peacemaker". The album has multiple arthurian characters sung by different artists, and Mordred is interpreted by Ashes O'Reilly. This is also the first time we have an explicitly queer Mordred (outside of novels), as Mordred is a trans man in this retelling. The story is a Western reimagining of arthuriana, and another case of a sympathetic Mordred - this time Mordred is more overtly sympathetic and even reconcile with his father Arthur at the end.

2011 recording of Albeniz's "Merlin": Piotr Prochera plays Mordred. This is another recording (no dvd, this has been shared by Piotr Prochera acor himself on youtube) of the "Merlin" opera.

2015 recording of "Le Roi Arthus": This opera is probably my favorite arthurian opera. It was created by Ernest Chausson between 1886 and 1895 and it is sung in French. Mordred is a bass and a classic villain, here jealous of Lancelot and the attention Guinevere gives Lancelot. This 2015 version was a modernized edition, with the knights depicted as modern soldiers. Mordred here is played by Alexandre Duhamel.

2016 Rex, youtube webseries: This series is on Severe Chill Studios' Youtube channel, with 48 short episodes. The series is a vlog of arthurian characters living in modern times (no reincarnations, just reimaginings). It follows Rex (Arthur) a student who is dealing with his abusive family and the brothers Merlin and Lancelot. Moore (Mordred) is Arthur's spoiled and arrogant friend (played by Daniel O’Sullivan). He lets Rex crash at his place for a bit, and is often depicted insulting his mother and calling her slurs. If you decide to watch this just know the series has some pretty heavy themes (a part from domestic abuse it also touches on terminal illness). Youtube link.

2017 Fate/Apocrypha: This is one of the many anime adaptation of the Fate franchise. Mordred is voiced by Miyuki Sawashiro. The Fate franchise is massive and deals with numerous spin-offs or even alternative realities to tell the tales of wars/battles for the Holy Grail mainly fought by Servants who are personification of historical/legendary figures. Fate/Apocrypha is based on a series of novel and is an alternative timeline to the previous Fate/Stay Night anime and also the first time we have Mordred in the anime. Mordred is here a Servant, they are the cloned-son of Saber (Arthur/Arturia, who is a woman) and Morgana. Their story is massive so let me just say I am using they/them for Mordred because the Fate series is very ambigous regarding theri gender. They are born as the close of a woman (Saber) and often referred with female pronouns through the series, they hate being called "a girl", and also hate being called "a boy". While I do not think the series was making an effort to actually depict a non-binary character, I do believe Mordred can easily be read as one.

2017 King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table: 2017 was a wild year for arthuriana but nothing was as wild as this movie. The movie follows the life of some arthurian characters' descendant living in Thailand. Morgana and Mordred (banished in arthurian times) ended up in space, working with aliens, and are now back to destroy the descendants. The movie is full over dramatic close up, Morgana turning into a mecha, fighting scenes and more. Interestingly, given how ridiculous the movie is, Mordred is depicted as a sympathetic (almost) villain. He is played by Russell Geoffrey Banks.

2017 King Arthur: Excalibur Rising: The scene I used in the video is right at the start, as the movie is set after Arthur's death. While Mordred might seem sympathetic there he is actually a pretty violent villain for the rest of the movie. The story is focused on Owain (Arthur's illegitimate son) trying to take back the crown from Mordred and Morgana. Here Mordred (played by Gavin Swift) is Arthur's incestuous son with Morgana.

2017 Legend, youtube webseries: A webseries you can watch on Tufts University Television's channel (link here). The series has 7 episodes and an epilogue and is set in a university. Each student is an arthurian character, with Mordred (Morty) as the overly joking, friendly guy who is hiding some deep hatred and jealousy towards Arthur. Unfortunately I do not remember if Mordred is Arthur's half-brother or just a friend. Mordred is played by Yuval Ben-Hayun. The story and production were pretty good, so I recommend it!

2017 Mordred La Revolte: I cheated a bit as this movie is the end of a long webseries. The series started in 2013 and run till 2018 with two season and can still be found here on youtube. The series was created by Tommy-Lee Baïk (who also played Mordred) and is in French. Unfortunately I cannot really tell how arthurian the series is, but the plot does not mention other arthurian characters. If I am not wrong, la Revolte is simply S2 turned into a movie.

2017 Fate/Grand Order The stage - Divine Realm of the Round Table: Camelot: Part of the Fate saga but in the Grand Order timeline, this is a stage adaptation of one of the events in the videogame Fate/Grand Order. In particular, it should be the same story shown in the later movie Camelot part 1 as the full title is Fate/Grand Order THE STAGE - Divine Realm of the Round Table: Camelot Replica; Agateram. I will explain more about it in the next part of this Mordred series. Chihiro Kai plays Mordred.

[katischaos]

Okay so stuff coming straight from the Witherburn After School News discord theory channel:

For a while we’ve been encouraged to look at the following list of characters birthdays by Francis:

The Reporter July 22, 2008

Birdie May 4, 2008

Bo Stoker November 8, 2007

Dyce December 4, 2007

Coach McMillan February 29, 1980

Eva Sinanger February 20, 2008

Francis Smith January 16, 2006

Hunter Clark October 26, 2007

Mr. Pickler October 20, 1967

Tina Young August 23, 2007

Now there are some things that we already knew or were quick to figure out (ie. Mr. Pickler’s birthday being the day of the infamous bigfoot sighting) but we were clearly missing something considering we kept being urged to look at the birthdays more. Supposedly the birthdays had some meaning that would reveal something that would foreshadow season two of WBASN.

Now today Francis again was urging the server to look at the birthdays but was now italicizing certain letters, specifically O and B. It took as way too long (the witherburn server over complicating things? who would’ve thought/sar) but eventually we figured out that we were being pointed at Bo Stoker. (Well first we were thinking that OB=08 and went a long rabbit hole but that got dismissed after an hour long mental break.)

From there we started looking at Bo Stoker’s birthdays and things that happened on that day (November 8th). It was confirmed by Francis that what we were looking for was on the wikipedia page for that date, and after a whole of searching I came across the fact that Nov. 8th was the day that Bram Stoker created Count Dracula.

That along with some other hints (Francis asking about Tim Stoker from The Magnus Archives last name being Stoker and if that meant he was secretly a vampire, and a 2 truths 1 lie that had been asked in the server that included “vampires are real” as one of the options). We concluded that vampires seem to be a likely thing to show up in season two of WBASN.

Additionally we were told to listen to the halloween episode of witherburn and when I listened to that there were two things that seemed relevant:

1. The Witherburn Ghost. Her being seen with a hole where he heart should be could point towards a wooden stake to the heart (where vampires need to be stabbed with a wooden stake to be killed)

2. The Stoker family being obsessed with the blood orange pie. Specifically a pie that is a currently a very well kept secret (secret ingredient? Blood?)

Well that’s all the theorizing for now. If anyone wants to add anything I missed feel free to.

@witherburn-after-school-news

[batsplat]

Thank you so much for ur work for this community 😭

thank you!! so, listen, I need to get some casey, jorge and valentino images out into the world

this is from the 2007 qatar post-qualifying press conference. obviously it's not just the three of them given colin edwards is like. right in the middle. (and *checks notes* gábor talmácsi is also there.) but still a photo of historical significance... casey's first ever race with the ducati (which he very much wins), plus valentino with his then-current teammate edwards and then-future teammate jorge... it's a bit unclear when jorge was actually signed - lin jarvis implies it was in 2006 but if that's the case, edwards seemed to be under the impression for a little too long that he wasn't going to lose that seat. anyways! look at wee nineteen year old jorge lorenzo, look at his utter absence of anything approaching a smile... look at him

misano 2007 post-qualifying press conference and a very powerful photo imo... some nicely contrasting vibes here, good composition... jorge had already been announced as valentino's teammate, and the title is already more or less in casey's pocket (even more so after casey won here and valentino had a mechanical dnf lol - they'd basically brought the race back to the calendar for valentino so this was. not ideal! incidentally still the last race with an entirely non-european podium.)

not much from 2008 tbh. casey and vale took turns to flop in the first bit of the season and then jorge started crashing his brains out. anyway these are from indianapolis, at a time when jorge was just about in the process of getting his act together while casey had crashed in his last three races (including laguna where he picks up the bike to finish p2). quite fond of this race actually, bit of a mess due to the weather and ends up getting red-flagged

first race of 2009.... casey's scheduled annual qatar win. decent shout for his most boring one of the lot, sorry king

pre-event presser before mugello, where valentino had won seven consecutive times headed into the 2009 race. if I'm valentino I low-key never show my face again after the le mans catastrophe but whatever it's fine

the le mans fiasco in question

anyway mugello is another wet-ish race that valentino ended up playing too conservatively because of the le mans horror show. so casey wins! also jorge beats valentino! old man's washed! just about scams his way onto the podium

italian press weren't particularly kind to valentino for having the audacity to lose mugello. they said it was over... he was finished... imagine only winning a race seven times in a row. was he even trying any more? loser

valentino bounced back at catalunya 2009 in highly dramatic fashion (y'know, it's the one with the last corner overtake). moment of deep historical significance in which jorge pulls valentino down from the podium to give him a hug

first race where casey was really struggling with his mystery illness... idk if I were valentino or jorge I'd maybe check if the third guy on the podium isn't about to drop dead but. well. professional athletes, never really been known for their empathy. they did clap along with the journalists in the post-race press conference when the moderator thanked casey for actually making it to the presser, so that's something?

we all have our struggles

the very next race. immaculate vibes imo. the 2009 title fight going into assen had all three of them tied on 106 points... #heritage

anyway the race itself is pretty boring (as unfortunately are many of the races that year), but it's valentino's 100th win so good on him ig. he got out a special banner with photos of all his wins, which would've been an absolute pain to lug around if he'd not immediately won the next race after his 99th

cute. unfortunately, this is now very much mystery illness period for casey... heroic effort to get himself to the podium but not much more was possible at the time

laguna 2009 post-quali presser. jorge is sitting for the photo, because even though he'd bagged pole, he had a massive highside right at the end of qualifying... hurt both his ankles and his shoulder. he'd also had a horrendous highside right at the start of laguna '08, did a good job to banish his gremlins in order to win at the circuit in 2010

qatar 2010... can't have been after the race because casey crashed :/ valentino grabbed the win, before immediately injuring his shoulder in a motocross accident. all went downhill from there, really. damn the eruption of eyjafjallajökull we were robbed

laguna 2010 podium, most memorable as 'that time when they accidentally played the italian anthem rather than the spanish one and valentino thinks it's extremely funny' (clip here). extremely poor quality photo shows casey found it funny too. very #them thing to happen to them. valentino buddy the cap's supposed to remain off for the duration of the anthem

this is very much post-leg break btw, still pretty cordial with each other given some of the stuff they'd been saying about each other to the press during that period lol (not casey/jorge, they were basically fine by this point)

presser right after jorge and valentino's little motegi misadventure... gifs from the presser. valentino's smirk vs casey's grin while jorge is being interrogated, I think about you often...

this was casey's fourth consecutive phillip island win (of six total)... isn't that just like. an incredibly cool circuit to be goated at. does mean the fight for the victory was generally quite boring - though the battles behind casey weren't always exactly thrilling either, so you can blame that on the era too. 2008 and 2010 has decent action behind casey, 2009 is the closest casey was pushed for the win and 2011 at least has a bit of weather-related jeopardy

valencia 2010, photos taken before unfortunate events

last shared podium!! le mans 2012, a fun wet race that featured the final proper casey/vale duel at the race after casey's retirement announcement so has real sentimental value... congrats to valentino for not collecting casey this time. presser clip where he shows he's also pretty glad about how he (just about) managed this