#I say this as someone who's spent way too much on kpop photocards

[hercarisntyours]

diabolical

[shinfinitexo-genius]

The Best Night of My Life

It has already been a month since the concert in Vancouver and I can not believe that a month has pasted since then! This past month has been such a whirlwind that I can not believe that I did not get the chance to actually sit down and write out my thoughts and what happened during the trip! So my flight was at 7 in the morning of the 6th so I had to get up at 4:30(?) which was definitely not fun since I was basically running on 2-3 hours of sleep. (Note to future self: do not listen to Dad and book a flight in the morning of a concert, fly in the day before so you can actually get a proper night of rest!) So I get ready and get my carry on and luggage and head to the airport with my dad. Let’s just say that I definitely overpacked for a 2 day 1 night trip but you can never too over-prepared as this was the first time I was traveling anywhere by myself. So my luggage was definitely a struggle to close but it worked out in the end! After going through security safely with no issues, I head to my gate and wait to board my flight. Flashforward an hour and after boarding my flight, we still didn’t take off since we had to wait for the airport staff to defrost the airplane wings since it had snowed the night before (typical Canadian weather). So finally after the wings were defrosted, we finally took off to Vancouver and I managed to get an hour or so of sleep. 

As we landed in Vancouver and waited to get off, I had checked my messages and I had gotten a reply from someone in a FB group I had joined for people who were travelling or going to to the concert by themselves to meet with other solo concert goers. I saw her post the night before flying out and she had replied back to me! It was so perfect as she was arriving in Vancouver around the same time I had landed. She had posted in the group that her friend wouldn’t be done school till later that afternoon and she would be spending the day alone and was looking for someone to spend it with! It worked out so perfectly! I messaged her back and told her I had arrived in Vancouver and would take the sky train to Downtown Vancouver since that’s where she would arrive at and that’s where my hotel was. So I finally get off the plane and head over to the train station, get my train pass and head off to Downtown Vancouver to meet up with Mira! I arrive to the Waterfront Station and then finally meet Mira! She is so pretty and cute ;-; We were a bit awkward at first which is pretty normal since we were literal strangers, but we decided to head to my hotel to see if I could check in or at least store my luggage. My hotel was about 5-10 minutes away from the train station by walking so Mira and I walked over to my hotel. After we arrived and spoke with the front desk, I wasn’t able to check in since it was pretty early in the morning and check in wasn’t till the after, but I was able to store my luggage. After all that, Mira and I decided to go grab some breakfast and we looked up restaurants we could go to on Google Maps that was near my hotel and we headed up going to a cute cafe that has brunch and lunch options and it was so busy! It’s apparently a pretty famous cafe and there is always a waiting line! Mira and I started to talk a little more about ourselves and then we started talking about our biases and I found out that she is a Shawol which was honestly the best thing ever and we clicked so fast! It felt like we were had been friends forever since we are both Shawols! 

After about an hour or two, we finally finished our breakfast and then I asked Mira if she would be okay to do some travelling to Burnaby to visit the cup sleeve event that was organized for Mark! She was totally up for it so we made our way to the train station and headed to Burnaby! We just talked the entire ride to Burnaby and it was so amazing to just talk about our love for SHINee and how we got into Kpop. Once we finally arrive Burnaby, we head to the cafe for the cup sleeve event and the sleeves were so cute! I was able to get two which was the best thing! LOL Before actually getting the sleeves, the cafe was in the same mall that a Kpop store was in as well that I had been planning on going to so Mira and I went to the store first and decided to come back to the cafe afterwards. Can I just say that I was only going to the store to get a shatting star pin, but came out with 3 albums (Dongwoo’s, Hoya’s and Taemin’s solo albums LOOOL), two posters, the shatting star pin and a EXO and SHINee lanyard. I definitely spent over my budget HAHHAHAHA Mira also got a shatting star pin! After we bought out stuff, we headed to a bench in the mall and I opened the albums to see what photocards I got and AHHH the amount of fangirling I went through HAHA! After finally calming down, we headed back to the cafe to get the cup sleeves. Once we finished at the cafe, we decided to head back to downtown so I could check into my hotel room and start getting ready for the concert since it was about time for the merch stand to open AHHHHH! It was crazy how close to the concert we were getting. It was raining all da, but the rain was getting annoyed so we decided to go to another mall and get some cheap umbrellas to use LOL After, we trained back to downtown and I was able to check in and go to my hotel room and settle in. It was nice to relax for a bit and I was able to change and get ready for the concert. Mira and I soon after headed to the concert venue so we could get some freebies and meet up with her friend, who is a fellow EXO-L! We arrived at the venue and walked to a nearby Starbucks where a fan was giving away fan support banners for Baekhyun and Kai and we finally met with Inge! After talking for a bit, we headed to the venue to get some more freebies and then we actually headed back to my hotel so we could leave our freebies and most of our stuff so we would not have to carry everything during the concert! After having a photoshoot with our lightsticks, we headed back to the venue for the concert AHHH!!! It’s actually kinda funny how Mira and I started randomly telling each other how many hours left till the concert like Mira randomly said “THREE HOURS LEFT TILL THE DOORS OPEN” and I just completely freaked out and I would do the same and we would just completely freak out! It was the funniest thing HAHA! I was so nervous heading to the venue and my heart wouldn’t stop beating cause this concert was something I was waiting for since October and I was ready to cry tbh just thinking about how I was about to see some of the boys that I have loved for almost 8 years and who were a part of my ultimate bias groups. We finally get to the venue and line up to get in and I was actually able to get me and the girls in the VIP Line to get into the venue since I was a Rogers customers HAHAH so fancy~~~ BUT OMG WE FINALLY GOT INTO THE VENUE AND I WAS FREAKING OUT F R E A K I N G  O U T AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Mira and Inge had seats together and I had floor seats so I followed them to their section before heading to my seat AND OMG MY VIEW WAS SO AMAZING! And I was sitting next to two Japanese fans, a Shawol and EXO-L! They were both so sweet and the J-EXO-L gave me a candy ;~; I was so nervous waiting for the concert to start and I was trying to figure how I was gonna hold three lightsticks HAHAH I had my SHINee, EXO, and SuperM lightsticks and it was definitely a struggle carrying them in one hand and my phone in the other! BUT OMG THE CONCERT STARTED AND THE VCR STARTED AND THE AMOUNT I SCREAMED THAT NIGHT!!! HAHAHAA I definitely had a hoarse voice by the end of the night. But y’all, the boys are so much more beautiful in real life. Like. Their skin is so flawless and the boys are the sweetest ever! When the hyung line introduced themselves, you know that I SCREAMED MY HEAD OFF YELLING THEIR NAMES AND CHEERING FOR THEM!!!! I love them so much! The maknae line are the cutest and it was so amazing seeing my wayv and nct boys! They are such amazing performers!!!!!! Like O M G WHEN TAEMIN PERFORMED DANGER AND GOODBYE I SCREAMED I SCREAMED WHEN HE PUT HIS HAT ON! IT WAS SO AMAZING SEEING HIM PERFORM!!! I LOVE TAEMIN SO MUCH!! AND BAEKHYUN!!!! BETCHA AND UN VILLAGE!!!!!! LITERALLY ALBUM OF 2019!!!!! AND JONGIN!!!!!! CONFESSION GOT ME FEELING ALL SORTS OF THINGS AND JAIJDISDLKSDLSLD STILL PROCESSING THAT I SAW JONGIN ABS IN REAL LIFE! REAL. LIFE. AHHHH ALSO SEEING NO MANNERS!!! THAT TAEKAI WAS ONE OF THE HIGHLIGHTS OF THE NIGHT AHHHHHHH BUT WHAT’S EVEN BETTER IS WHEN TAEMIN AND I LOCKED EYES! O M G I STILL CAN’T BELIEVE IT HAPPENED CAUSE I LITERALLY FROZE WHEN I REALIZED TAEMIN AND I LOCKED EYES LIKE- 💀💀💀 It was during With You when they were throwing their signed frisbees and Taemin looked towards my section and we briefly locked eyes and let me tell that all the air in my lungs was gone in a split second. My world literally froze when I tried to process the fact we had mad eye contact. I definitely lived my best life that night. When the boys were saying their ending ments, I was literally holding my lightsticks to my chest and literally whispering to myself “Don’t go” over and over again and I was on the verge on crying. It still hurts when I think of that moment of when the boys said their farewells after performing Jopping. Once the concert finished, I had to sit down to process everything and the Japanese fans were concerned about me and checked to make sure I was okay! LOL they were honestly the sweetest and when they realized that it was my first time ever seeing Taemin and KaiBaek in person they understood why I was so star struck! But it’s crazy to think about this night sometimes cause it still doesn’t feel real. Met up with Mira and Inge after the concert and we couldn’t process everything that had happened. We went back to my hotel so they could get their stuff and Inge and I decided to go to Gastown to take pictures where Taemin and Key had taken pictures. After saying bye to Mira (and I was so sad that I had to say bye to her after spending the entire day with her 🥺. Mira, I hope we can meet soon!) Inge and I head to Gastown and have a mini photoshoot LOL and soon after I said goodbye to Inge and head back to my hotel and stayed in my bed just rewatching my concert videos and just crying my heart out LOOOOL. And that was the end of one of most amazing days in my life thus far 😭😭 Thank you SuperM for coming to Vancouver and helping me cross off something off my bucket list - seeing some of the boys that I have loved for so long. My heart swells when I think of my boys 🥺❤️ My cute maknae line, thank you for making this concert one of the most amazing concerts of my life Lee Taemin, Byun Baekhyun and Kim Jongin I love you three so much and I can’t wait for the day I can see you again with your brothers. I waited 8 years to see you, I can wait a little longer to see you as SHINee and Exo and I hope to see you again as SuperM!

[lubdubsworld]

Tumblr prompt ( Jimin / OC)

Read Part 1 Here

Since i got a lot of requests for a part 2 on this one. This isn’t exactly a part two but a sort of a backdrop. i would probably continue this because it’s fun to write , i guess? 

Genre : Heavy Angst \ Romance

Warnings : Dubious Consent, Domestic Violence, Emotional Manipulation.

Pairing : Park Jimin/ OC

Request fic : An abusive marriage drabble with Jimin .

Rating : 19+

Part 2 : How We Met . 

I first met Jimin when i was eighteen years old. He was twenty three at the time, already one of the biggest stars in the country. His band BTS had won the BBMA, Daesangs, were generally acknowledged as the Kings of Kpop. I’d always had a crush on him, been one of those embarassing fangirls who sleep with photocards in the pillow covers. I had always been drawn to Jimin out of all seven of them, simply because he had seemed like such a very kind person.

And i hadn’t met a lot of those in my life. I wasn’t exactly very poor but my family had always struggled, as far as I knew. My mother ran a massage parlor in one of the seedier places in Seoul, and I knew that she did far more than just give ‘ massages’. Especially when she stuffed a 5000 Won note into my sister’s hand and told the both of us to stay out for a few hours.

When i was twelve, my mother let me know that I wasn’t really of any use to her.

“Your sister is beautiful. Like me. You take after your father. You’re too thin. No body at all. How will you help me with the business if you look like this. Go find a part time job where looks don’t matter.”

It was the first time i realized i wasn’t beautiful. Which was funny because i’d always been called pretty by the men who visited my mother. But her words made me curl in on myself and cry for days. It was like i didn’t magtter. Like I was an invisble person who had no value whatsoever, simply because i wasn’t beautiful enough to matter. 

When i was fifteen, I took up a job waitressing. it was another nail to my coffin. No one sees a waitress. We might as well be invisible. i had no one to talk to. No one willing enough to listen. i went on for days on end , not using my voice for anything except the generic, “ What would you like to have” , “ Was the meal okay “ and “ Please Eat well.” 

When I was sixteen , the clients to my mother’s shop began to dwindle.  My mother was becoming older and while my sister did help her, she was still underage. Which meant that there were some ‘ services’ she just couldn’t provide.  , i had to quit school because we could no longer afford to live on just part time jobs.

Times were tough and I clung to music, to help me get by. i started listening to a lot of music by different artists but Jimin’s voice always drew me in and made me drown. it felt like he too had been through a lot of pain as well. 

Like he knew what it was like to never be considered good enough. To always keep doubting yourself. And I felt , suddenly a little less alone. A little less lonely. i would replay little bits of his part in BTs songs, put them on loop, just to hear the emotions in his voice. I fell in love with him even then.Or maybe , i fell in love with my vision of him. the jimin in my head was kind and beautiful. He understood me. He listened to me. 

But it was all just one of those fantasies that helped me breathe . Nothing I ever thought would happen. Not even in my wildest dreams. 

But the restaurant i had started out at , had grown and I got a raise. they also started catering for huge parties and award shows and that meant that if i was lucky enough to be picked as a wait-staff, i could score free meals, as well a generous bonus.

It was in one of those parties that I first met Park Jimin.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What the hell?! What did you just do, you incompetent little twit?!” The woman screamed at me and i flinched , horrified. I hadn’t technically done anything. She had been swinging her arms animatedly while talking to three of the BTS members and had accidentally knocked down the Champagne glasses that i’d been carrying on a tray.

The wine had spilled , splashing out of the cut glass flutes and dousing Park Jimin’s expensive shirt which probabaly cost more than my entire existence.i just stared at the rapidly spreading stain, not sure what to do and my brain shutting down completely because it was Park jimin.

The Park jimin of my dreams. The park jimin who was kind and angelic and who would rescue me from my hell hole of a life. 

My body just froze because i couldn’t think, talk or even blink. 

“it’s alright. “ He said very softly and his gaze was so kind, so soft and gentle. He gave me a reassuring smile and i realized how incredibly beautiful he was in real life. So much more perfect than all the photos I’d seen. So gorgeous. So handsome. 

A real life prince. 

I just gaped at him as he smiled back, casually grabbing some paper towels from another waiter and wiping up the stains. 

And he didn’t stop there. He actually gently took my hands in his wiping away the spilled liquid. I could only stare as he casually knelt on the floor, ignoring all the hushed murmurs around us and picked up the broken shards of the glass as well.

“Don’t hurt yourself...” He said softly and just like that i was lost. 

And later that night, when he cornered me near the kitchens and told me he wanted to take me out to dinner, i didn’t even think to wonder,

  why me? why would someone like Park Jimin want someone like me? 

At the time , i thought it was because he was my prince Charming. 

i still think he is. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It wasn’t easy , of course dating an idol. But Jimin was strong and firm. He stood up to his agency, to his fans to everyone else who tried to break us apart. it was oddly fascinating, watching somone fighting  for  me and not just fighting me.

My mother hated him. 

“Da Som, he doesn’t seem like a nice man. i’ve met men like him. They only choose women they can control and bully. He thinks you’re easy to control. My baby, don’t believe him.”

i could only laugh at her delusional words. Jimin never even raised his voice to me! He bought me beautiful things. jewelry, dresses and pretty trinkets. But that wasn’t even the most improtant thing. He talked to me. He listened to me. He made me feel like the most important person in the world, whenever I was with him. 

I loved him.

“Don’t say that about him!” I yelled at her.

“Da som- just listen to me...”

‘You’re jealous! “ I spat out angrily. “ you’re just jealous that i no longer have to stay here with you and your pretty daughter. Are you ashamed mother?! You though unnie was the prettier one but Jimin certainly doesn’t think i’m ugly , does he? He could have any girl in the world! but he chose me!” 

My mother only stared sadly while i ranted at her. 

And i felt sad, and empty. Because my mother wasn’t happy for me. 

“She’s upset that you’re leaving her baby, that’s it. Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of you. You will never miss your mother. i’m your family now.” Jimin whispered that night, drawing me close and kissing my hair. 

I slept soundly. 

That was the last time i ever spoke to her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You are a virgin aren’t you?” 

I blushed as I brushed my hair, seated in front of the dresser of his apartment. 

“Uh.. yes.”

He looked relieved. Happy almost. 

“Good. Good...”

Why did it matter, i wondered. 

“Because I want to be the only one to ever have touched you. The first and the last.” He said softly, bending down to kiss my cheeks. “ We’ll wait of course. Till marriage. I want you to be pure till then. It wouldn’t be fair if you wore white when you aren’t pure, right baby?” He smiled. 

“Yes. “ I said, not really understanding, but too drugged from his touches and his scent to think too much about it. 

“Good. Good. I’m a really fair person, Da Som. I would never be cruel to you.  I think we should always be honest to each other. You’ll always be honest with me, right?” He smiled , stroking my hair gently. 

“I...I’ll never lie to you jimin.” i said, surprised that he even thought i would.

“I know baby. I know the moment I saw you that you were perfect for me. You need me , don’t you baby? Only i make you happy, right?”

“Yes.” 

“Good girl.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We got married a week later. 

The first year of my marriage was the best time of my life. I was a good wife. I made sure that everything was perfect, the way he wanted and he always treated me like i was the most precious thing in his life. 

When we celebrated our sixth month anniversary , everyone was envious of me. Jimin had booked an entire restaurant for us and he bought me a dozen expensive dresses. He also bought me a Diamon necklace, a cartier watch and what mattered the most was that he took the entire week off. We spent it in jeju Do, exploring the tiny island and when we weren’t exploring, we were in bed. Jimin taught me the millon different ways a man could make a woman feel good and i was dizzy with pleasure and riding high from his touches. 

i was still a little tired from our lovemaking, when jimin gave me a small smile, fingers lightly stroking the bare skin of my back. 

“Your hair is getting long. “ He said casually, gripping a lock of my thick hair. 

“Oh..i like it that way, though.” I smiled brightly and his smile faded alarmingly fast. 

“You’d look better with shorter hair.” He said shortly.

I blinked a bit, surprised at how upset he sounded. 

“Oh... You think so?” i said doubtfully. Touching my hair in confusion. I liked my long hair. i thought it was a special part of me. 

“Why? You think I’d lie to you?” His voice had taken a hard edge and I turned over, sitting up a bit.

“Jimin-”

“I work my ass off so you can have the best things in the world, why would i lie about what makes you look good?” He demanded and I could only stare, not at all sure what I’d said wrong or why he was mad. 

“Jimin, calm down...”

“Calm down?! You just called me a liar and you want me to calm down? Listen, do you think I’ve got nothing better to do than sit around here with you? But i’m here... you know why? Because I care about you. Because I love you. And if you loved me back, you wouldn’t doubt me!” He said angrily.

“I’m sorry... i’m sorry if I upset you...”

“Damn right you should be. ! I give you everything! Everything. How much of it do you actually deserve huh?” He scoffed. 

i looked down at my lap, tears stinging. i felt suddenly ashamed of myself. He was right. i hadn’t earned any of these luxuries. I only had them because jimin loved me. I’d been taking for granted, all the little things that jimin did for me. And now, I’d somehow hurt the man who had done nothing but good things for me. It was unforgivable. 

“I’m so sorry Jimin...” i whispered, reaching out for him and he knocked my hand away angrily. 

“Whatever.” He got out of bed and slipped on his clothes. “ i’m going for a walk now. I can’t even look at you right now.” 

He didn’t touch me again for the rest of the week. I begged and apologized and tried to make it up to him but he stayed unmoving, ignoring my tears and my apologies. 

i felt myself sinking into depression. 

It was like i was invisible again and I hated it. I went mad, i couldn’t eat and i couldn’t sleep. Food tasted like saw dust. I was dying inside my own skin and i wanted to claw out of my body. I hated myself for ruining things. Because I had, hadn’t i? 

I’d hurt Jimin and i’d ruined things for both of us. 

When we returned back, the first thing i did was find a salon. I got my hair cut short, just the way he wanted. 

When jimin came home that night, he smiled at me for the first time in days. 

“You’re so good for me, baby. i just want to be proud of you. If you listen to me, you can be a wife that I’d be proud of.” 

I nodded, the words not even registering. All that mattered was that he was touching me again. 

I wasn’t invisible anymore. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~