#I really liked the look of Don't Starve when I first saw it years ago and I still wish it had been something like the game I hoped

[argothiathedreamer]

Begging for a building/survival game in a huge world with good farming and cooking mechanics and no monsters.

Let me explore a procedurally generated world with fascinating landscapes and creatures and let there be nothing in it more willing to attack me than any normal wild animal.

"well what about progression and skills? How do we keep it interesting for players?"

New recipes unlocked for cooking! Special recipes you can only find in special puzzle dungeons! The thrill of exploration and maybe a bestiary to fill out!

And importantly you'd have a hunger gauge to manage! Maybe you start to lose health if you stay hungry too long! Maybe you just get fatigued! Maybe you can get sick! Could be anything!

Game studios listen to me! I have ideas!!!

[mirtash]

a lil bit of lore: Princess Luna had to banish her sister on the Sun for 1000 years  Luna doesn't have enough power to hold the sun on the sky for long enough because Celestia being in her nightmare form (it's not a Day Breaker but I don't have a name for her yet eeeee like Supernova or smth???) weakens Luna's connection with the sun (and also Luna holds less magic power than Celestia in general) what's more Nightmare Celestia cursed Luna's ponies to be "the creatures of the darkness where you belong", turning them into Bat Ponies. most of the ponies in Equestria are bat ponies. Pegasy Unicorns and Earth ponies only comes from ancient pure blood families like Apples, Pies, Glimmers, etc some as Rainbow and Rarity mostly look as regular pegasys and unicorn but they can hold trates of the bat ponies (fangs, ears, sometimes wings) Bat ponies and the hybrids don't feel good enough during daytime (their eyes works so much better in the dark, they flies faster during night time and prefer lower temperature) and that's another reason why Princess Luna has to hold moon at the sky longer than sun Apple Jack

- She puts flowers in her mane in the memory of her mother. In this AU Pear Butter is a very cool genetic. She died when Apple Bloom turns 5 and Apple Jack (who just turned 15) left absolutely heart broken. However this tragedy made Apple siblings much stronger and they've become closer than ever. That's when Apple Jack finally gets her cutie mark, representing her bond with apple family (three apples represent Apple Bloom, Apple Jack and Big Mac) - Apple Jack is one of the ponies who doesn't really enjoy Luna's reign mostly because she is a farmer and it's hard for her to take care of the various apple trees during longer night time. - The Apple family is VERY conservative they are one of the very few families in Equestria who still grows original sorts apples (and other crops), including a super rare Zap Apples and that need extra care due the lack of sunlight. - one of the Apple family ancestors happened to be the leader of the earth ponies rebellion that happened in the first years of Luna's reign. Luna's spirit was broken after she had to banish her sister and things didn't go very well in her kingdom. Hundred of angered ponies led by the "iron mare" Red Delicious broke into the Castle of the two Sisters. The guards didn't even try to stop them.  When ponies entered the throne room they saw The Princess of darkness, crying over her sister's broken throne. The room was filled with blooming Sunflowers, favorite flowers of Celestia. Then Luna turned to them and she spoke to them as a princess and they saw the power she holds and they realized she can destroy them all with a single spell. But she didn't. Red Delicious who was determined to fight "the princess of darkness" till the end finally saw the real Luna and she wasn't scared or angry anymore but started to feel the compassion for her. - Red Delicious herself helped Luna to make a plan on defeating hunger. Ponies were starving due the lack of crops and Red Delicious worked hard alongside with Luna to invent plants that would be able to grow effectively in the dark on the shortest time. Ponyville became the first night farmers city (very close to the Castle of the two sisters). 

Rainbow Dash - Her full name is Rainbow Stormcloud Dash. - Her mother and father are both pegasy and her grand grand father is a hybrid bat pony (she likes him sooo much he is super cool) However, she doesn't have any trates of bat pony except of the ability to see in the dark and flying at night. - Rainbow mane in different varieties is a very rare gene that only exists in her blood line a very long time ago one of her ancestors tried to save his friend from a dragon and flied so fast he broke the laws of physics and a Sonic Rainboom happened.  After that his mane turned rainbow colored. Pegasus with a rainbow mane was born once in a generation since then but a very few of them were able to perform a Sonic Rainboom. - Rainbow Dash is the first pegasus in Equestria history who was able to perform the Nocturnal Rainboom. - Her dream is to become a Shadow Bolt. They are the best flyers in Equestria!!! And most of them are bat ponies because it's hard for a pegasus to perform bat's tricks. Not for Rainbow though! 

[teddypickerry]

Patching jess Mariano up after a fight and trying to get him to tell you what happened but he’s too busy flirting and being evasive so he doesn’t tell you what happened (some guy was talking bad about you) 🤭

𝐀 𝐓𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄.

pairings — jess mariano x fem! gilmore reader

word count — 2.0k

warnings — none fluffy friends with a crush on eachother <3

a/n — the boys… troy… TROY IS BACK IN TOWN!!!! I THINK I’M OUT, BUT YOU PULL ME BACK IN. YOU GUYS KEEP PULLING ME BACK IN. after almost a year (maybe over, i failed the time management thing) I’M BACK TO TUMBLR FICS!!!! although i did make y/n have a name cause i cannot read or write y/n anymore… is that maturity 😏? anyways. i’m really not a fan of this… like, at all. but i wanted to feed you bitches after starving you for so long. and the jess fics on here? are… well…

THE UPSTAIRS BATHROOM in the Gilmore household wasn't particularly small. But with how close the two somewhat friends were sitting, it seemed miniscule. The CD player hummed a Def Leppard album from Alexa's bedroom. Her free hand cupped Jess's jaw. He was dripping blood into the sink, hunching over the counter like he was in his first trimester. The moment he glanced up in the mirror, he was met with a sight worse than Terrifier. 

Alexa entered the bathroom once more, a warm washcloth in her hand as she stopped at the doorway. The teenage boy turned her way with a not-so-subtle speed. The two hardly shared a word since they arrived at her house a brief few minutes ago. The fight came out of nowhere and she couldn't understand why he'd done it. Noel was a boy they'd gone to school with for a while, a boy who hadn't given Alexa the best time since her arrival. One of the few things she'd learned of the football player was that he was a good fighter - established in Jess's bruises. "Turn, please." The girl mumbled until he obliged. His back pressed against the counter with his arms crossing. He looked down at the brunette who had a softened look on her face while examining him. 

The warm washcloth pressed against the cut crossing his cheek. Jess nearly wincing at the feeling, deciding he'd rather suck it up than seem pathetic to her. Alexa noticed his act immediately and shook her head. There was an elephant in the room... on the towel Lorelai found at Goodwill. She laughed for five minutes when she found it. But there was another elephant in the room, and it wasn't literal.

The teenager worked with the hum of Def Leppard in the background. Jess didn't dare speak a word as the girl pressed her hand to his injured skin. It was almost like it was all worth it just to be tended to by her tender hands. Which simply embarrassed him.

A bandaid covered the final now clean cut. That was as much as Alexa could do with her lack of doctoring abilities. "That was stupid, Jess." Alexa broke the silence without stepping away from the boy. Their faces nearly pressed together as he simply watched her. "You could have seriously got hurt. I mean look what you did to him. He's probably got just... hurt really bad, okay? I don't know exactly why you did it... but..." Her voice trailed off as she noticed the small smile on his lip. It curved sideways as they all tended to do, which she'd always found to be something sort of cute.

"Why are you smiling?" Alexa frowned at the sight as Jess tilted his head at her slightly, his smile still present. "Just am." He shrugged simply with his dark eyes still locked on hers. He seemed devious — he seemed like he was up to something, or there was something on his mind. Not anything he'd let Alexa figure out. "Jess..."

"Fuck him. Just don't be around him anymore, please." His final word came off as a whisper as if begging the waitress to keep her fair distance from the jock.  She didn't know the reasoning behind the fight, but his words started to imply the truth. Had it been for her? 

It was when she glanced back up at him that she saw something different inside Jess. She couldn't quite pinpoint what at that moment, but there was a type of serotonin inside of him that she desired. His eyes glanced down at her slightly chapped lips which only looked like the most desirable thing in the room. She noticed this quickly, feeling her heart race at the thought. Alexa had no idea if she'd kiss him back if he followed through with the mission. But the thought wasn't all so bad...

If only she had the chance to find out, with their near connection interrupted by the sound of the front door. Alexa huffed and bit down on her bottom lip. "Lexie, Exie-Doo, where are you?" Lorelai practically sang throughout the house. The girl faced Jess and ushered him into her bedroom, making her way down the stairs alone. She was taken in by the sight of her Aunt, Cousin, and Pure-Evil (Sir. Christopher Hayden) dressed head to toe in something favoring Bridgerton. Her Aunt had a relieved look when she noticed her niece, walking toward her immediately. "Lexie! God, sweetie, we went to Luke's but there was this huge crowd like they were having some seance-" The inn owner seemed to panic at the recollection of events. "-And Luke said there was a fight and Jess was probably with you and- are you okay?"

Alexa pushed her hair behind her ear as she sighed. "I'm okay. Um..." Her voice trailed off as her cousin spoke up, making her way towards Alexa. "What happened?"

"I don't know... Jess... he..." Alexa shrugged before running a hand through her hair. She turned towards her Aunt. "Remember that trust thing we're working on? Well, he's in my bedroom right now. So don't fret. Just trust. Because he just took some Fight Club type hits, okay?"

"Alex-" Lorelai started as her niece cut her off quickly. "No, just. Can he hang out for awhile please? I know Luke's gonna be pissed and there's gonna be a million people at the diner trying to find Jess for like the rest of the night. He just-" She shut her mouth for a minute as her Aunt watched her intently. "He's my… friend, Lor. And he's dripping blood."

It was as if Lorelai Gilmore's life flashed before her eyes as she sighed and wrapped her arms around her niece. "Okay, Lexie. I trust you. Please don't be like any of the babysitters in the horror films getting it on, on the couch— that's your bed because you don't have a couch in your room so-"

"Your prince awaits you," Rory cuts off her mother as she ushers Alexa out of her arms. Lorelai nodded along as Alexa left the room. Leaving a family of three — that hardly could be considered one, to themselves. Especially leaving Lorelai Gilmore hoping she put her trust in the right place.

When Alexa made her way back upstairs, she found the bookworm skimming through her stack of vinyl records. Alice Cooper's 'Hey Stoopid' in his arms. "Good record," The girl announced as she cracked the door behind her. Jess glanced over at her with a smirk that could kill. "You only like it because Nikki Sixx did bass on Feed My Frankenstein."

The brunette jokingly shrugged her shoulders before taking a seat on her bed. Her back pressed against the tie-dyed pillow she received from Lane Kim for her birthday months ago. Her eyes watched the boy whose eyes were trapped on her own. It was mad to her how good he looked with a crimson tint to his cheeks. She also knew he'd get shit at school on Monday from just about everyone. Stars Hollow is an especially small town if you haven't figured that out by now. The news of the fight would reign the town within the hour. Hell, Babette was probably already running around telling everyone.

"Where are you from?" Alexa asked suddenly, as 'Rock of Ages' hummed in the background. Jess placed the record back on top of the collection. He shrugged. "Lots of places..." He answered in this typical uninterested tone until he remembered exactly who he was talking to. "New York, though." Jess finally answered as he took a seat at the end of her bed, his body slightly turned towards hers. "Hm, I've got some wild New York stories."

Jess almost smiled at her words as he pressed his back to her wall, now able to fully see the girl at her headboard. "With sewer rats and subway psychos?" He hummed in humor making Alexa shoot him a smile. His eyes lit up at this and he could almost forget the pain resting on his face and his knuckles... almost.

"Where are you from, you're not a Stars Hollower I know," Jess asked the girl making her giggle at the thought. "'Hollower' really? God- um, well if you can't tell from my accent, I grew up in Newport."

"You don't fit California." He commented with ease as Alexa nodded in agreeance. Alexa Gilmore wasn't made for a life by the sea. Surrounded by riches feigning kindness. "You're right I definitely fit this hellhole even more." She joked making Jess shoot her his suddenly infamous crooked grin.

A comfortable silence fell between the two as Jess studied the girl's room. Posters filled the walls with random bands and various tv shows. Her vanity was lined with pictures of people and places. The sound of Lorelai coming upstairs and going into the bathroom echoed throughout the upstairs, making Jess sigh. He was drop-kicked back into reality. The diner boy stood up and reached for the window he'd grown accustomed of climbing out of. 

"Jess," Alexa called, catching his attention. "Can't leave Lukey alone too long — he might die," He mumbled with a slight smirk as Alexa shook her head at her. She stared at him silently before huffing. "Can you stay for a little bit longer... please? I'll talk to Luke."

"Don't think I'm very welcome." The brunette boy told her with the sound of Lorelai entering her bedroom in the background. The girl batted her eyelashes without attempt, making Jess's thoughts turn curious. "But... I know you'll miss me so much." He hummed as he jumped on the bed, this time sitting beside the girl. She smiled at him while shoving his head playfully with her hand. "In your dreams, Mariano."

"You always are."

[ironstrange1991]

Safe Place

Pairing: Doctor!Strange x Fem!Reader

Synopsis: Things don't always go the way we want. The reader learns this the hard way and Stephen is the only one that can make her feel better.

Word Count: 2,5k

Warnings: None.

A/N: Another self-indulgent fic inspired by another bad day. I'm just really happy to have something to post. I hope you guys like it and have a good read ;)

Tears had been streaming down your face and soaking your pillow for what seemed like hours since you had gotten home after a terrible day where everything had gone apocalyptically wrong. You were relieved to be home in the first place, but at the same time you were disappointed enough that you didn't feel right about being there.

You knew that you had placed too much expectation on that day and that it was your fault for expecting too much from luck when you knew very well that in your life luck had never been with you. You just wanted to disappear. You wanted a hole to open in the ground and swallow you, but all you could do was cry your eyes out and that was exactly what you did until you fell asleep and woke up to the touch of a trembling hand in your hair and the baritone voice calling your name.

"Sweetheart" You heard Stephen calling you. "I barely saw you today. I didn't know you were already here. Are you hiding from me?" He dismissed the question with a light and caring tone, but you knew he was worried. You didn't look at him as you answered.

"I want to die, Stephen." You said, giving in to the tears and hiding your face in the pillow.

"Oh sweetheart! Things didn't work out the way you expected, huh?" He asked and you felt the bed dipping.

"It's my fault. I should listen to MJ and stop putting so much hope into things that I know will never happen. I always get disappointed and never learn."

He let out a heavy sigh.

"Come here." He asked, touching your hair and you crawled so you could lay your head in his lap. "Why don't you tell me exactly what happened?"

But you didn't want to talk about it. It was like by doing so you were accepting it was real, and you didn't want it to be real. So you just shook your head.

"Okay. How about I tell you about my day? Would you like that?"

You nodded.

"Well, Wong and I spent the morning training a group of masters who are going on a mission for the first time. They are good, they just need to gain practice, and the mission is not that difficult. I believe everything will be fine." He said as he gently ran his fingers through your hair.

"After that, I got a call from Stark asking me to come over there to help identify a magical artifact they found in the hands of Hydra. It was an ancient relic that disappeared from the London Sanctum hundreds of years ago. You can imagine Wong's happiness when I took it straight to the Kamar Taj."

You could feel the lump in your throat getting less tight as he spoke. Not only was his voice soothing and pleasant, but you enjoyed listening to him talk about his sorcerer stuff. It was another world entirely and at that moment all you needed was to distance yourself from your reality and to be immersed in his.

"Let me see what else..." He said and you waited. "Oh, I almost forgot! Stark is throwing a party at the end of the month and he insists that we both go. I could have said that I'll be on a mission, but I know you like spending time with your Avengers friends, so I confirmed our attendance. Did I do wrong?"

You shook your head and he chuckled softly. "I knew you'd want to go. Let me see... what else? I had cold pizza for breakfast and I ventured into the kitchen to make something for lunch because I was starving."

That caught your attention and you waited for him to tell you what he had cooked.

"Tuna spaghetti. It didn't turn out as good as yours. I think I overcooked it. It was sticky, but it was what I had and it satisfied my hunger. You know I'd rather eat your food anyway and at least I didn't burn the house down."

You smiled to yourself and turned around to look at him. Your eyes were still wet with tears, but you were calmer and the heaviness in your heart was replaced by warmth. "I love you." You whispered reaching out to touch his face. There was a frown on his forehead that slowly faded and he smiled back.

"I love you too, sweetheart." He replied as he continued to caress your hair. "Feeling a bit better now?"

You nodded. "It's amazing how you can do that."

He cocked his head to the side. "Do what?"

"Change my mood just by talking to me."

"And caressing your hair. That sure helps." He said with a cocky smile.

You smiled back at him. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. Did you know that? You found me at my lowest and changed me forever. I know I'm not an easy person, that this anxiety and mood swings are constant and that I make you worried most of the time..."

"Sweetheart..."

"Let me say this. Please." You asked, bringing your fingers to his mouth to shut him up.

"I know I need you much more than you need me. I know I shouldn't say this, but I feel like I can't live without you. Or maybe I can, but I don't want to have to find out."

You sighed deeply, trying to contain the wave of emotion that was threatening to spill over your eyes. "Today was a horrible day. Everything went so wrong that it would be comical if it wasn't so fucking annoying and heartbreaking. But at the same time I know that no matter how bad things get, I will always have this home to come back to and when I say home I'm not talking about the house, I'm talking about you. You are my home and my comfort, Stephen. My safe place and I love you with all the strength of my being and if for all this love you give me I have to pay by cooking you a decent meal, I'm more than happy with the bargain."

"Can I talk now?" He grumbled and you took your hand away from his mouth. He was trying to keep the same confident face as before, but there was a whole world of emotions behind his blue eyes and you saw his throat bobbing a few times. "First of all, you'll never have to figure out whether or not you can live without me because, sweetheart, I'll never leave and I'll never let you go." He sighed, trying to compose himself, and then continued, "Secondly, I want you to know that you're not a burden to me and I don't think you need me any more than I need you. You say I saved you at your lowest, but you forget that you've saved me from myself so many times. I changed you? You've changed me too, love. You've made me a better man, you've taught me that love can be a good thing and that I don't need to be in control of everything all the time. You've made me let my guard down and allow myself to love and be loved. To care for you and having you care for me is the greatest achievement of my life. You're my home too, sweetheart. My love, my best friend, my everything. It's safe to say that neither of us are easy people." He finished with a smirk. "We just complement each other so well."

You nodded, feeling your eyes fill with tears again, but you smiled. "Thank you."

His smile widened, "You're welcome, sweetheart. Now get up and go take a shower and I'll order some food. I'm sure you'll feel better after that."

You sat up and stretched before standing up. "I'm already feeling better, actually." You answered honestly. "If you're not in a hurry, I can cook you something. You must be dying to eat some decent food."

He seemed a bit surprised by your offer, but smiled happily. "Really? And what will you do?"

"It'll depend on what's in the fridge."

He nodded, "Okay. I'm in."

"But there's something I want in return." You said, taking his hand and pulling him to stand up. You pulled him close to you, letting him tower over you, and rested your hand on his chest.

"And what is it?" He asked, already knowing the answer very well.

"You. I want you to come take a shower with me."

He hummed, lifting your chin to make you look directly at him.

"I thought you were sad," he teased.

"I am. And really mad, that's why I need some physical love. You know?"

He chuckled. "Alright, love. I think I can provide that for you."

You barely waited for him to answer and dragged him into the bathroom with you. Your mood swings sometimes confused even you, but if there was one thing that was certain about your depressive crises, it was that they always ended in sex. It was your body's way of balancing things out, exchanging cortisol for oxytocin, and you were fine with that. More than fine, in fact.

After the shower - and what ended up becoming a long lovemaking session - the two of you got dressed in comfortable pajamas and ended up in the kitchen. You wanted to prepare something decent and nutritious, after all Stephen was a tall and strong man and you knew that his body needed more than the empty calories of two slices of pizza and some tuna spaghetti, but when you looked in the fridge you realized what you had already feared. You were practically out of food.

"Oh Stephen, we forgot to go to the grocery store." You said dejectedly, but your eyes found a piece of bacon and some cheese and you sighed in defeat. It seemed that the nutritious food would have to wait for tomorrow.

"I can make mac & cheese. It has bacon, we can fry it really crispy and add it to the recipe. I know it wasn't what you expected..."

Stephen approached, hugging you from behind and taking advantage of the fact that your hair was tied up, he gave you a little kiss on the back of your neck. That never failed to give you goosebumps.

"Anything you prepare for me will be delicious, I'm sure. And I love mac & cheese. It's fine by me."

You turned to look at him "Are you sure? There's still time to order food if you want."

He shook his head "I'm sure. Unless you changed your mind. I know you've had a long day, sweetheart."

But before he finished speaking you were already grabbing the necessary ingredients from the fridge. "I did, but I'm feeling much better now. Your mac & cheese will be ready in fifteen minutes, and I promise it will be way better than your sticky tuna spaghetti."

He chuckled, letting go of your waist and stepping away, opening a cabinet door and grabbing one of your ceramic pots. "I'm going to put the water on to boil. I don't think you can go wrong with that." He informed and you let out a soft laugh.

"Don't forget the salt." You said as you grabbed a knife and began to chop the bacon into small cubes.

"Before or after it boils? I never remember."

"After." You replied, watching as he turned on the stove. It was quite a sight: Stephen Strange dressed in nothing but pajama pants, his hair wet from the shower, his back marked by your nails, his neck marked by love bites you had left on him, doing banal and domestic things in the kitchen. He may have been a sorcerer, a master of the mystical arts, and protector of the Sanctum, but what made you fall more and more in love with him each day were those little moments when he was completely ordinary.

You got distracted while finishing chopping the bacon and cheese and were surprised by his arms wrapping around your waist. He didn't say anything, he just hugged you from behind, gave you a kiss on the back of your neck and laid his head on your shoulder, and that act made you melt. You continued your task with a deliberate slowness so that you wouldn't have to move away from him, but eventually you finished chopping everything.

"Steph... I need..."

But he held you tighter in his arms, humming, "Just one more minute. I just want to stay like this for one more minute."

You chuckled, dropping the knife and reaching your hand up to his hair, stroking it slowly. "As if you didn't have me for an hour in that bathroom." You said, and he groaned as if the memory of what you did was too good to mention.

"It's not the same, sweetheart." He said, lifting his head to speak in your ear, "Sometimes I just want to be close to you like this. It's not sexual."

You felt your heart flutter in your chest and your knees went weak. "Does that mean the great Doctor Strange sometimes needs cuddles?"

He gave your ear a light nibble to tease you back, "Sometimes... yes."

You nodded, turning to look at him and cupping his face. "You deserve all the cuddles in the world, Steph. But right now you need to decide what you want more. Cuddles or mac & cheese?"

He sighed exaggeratedly. "Such a hard choice." He said, pretending to think, "But I think I'll have to choose mac & cheese." He responded with a smirk and let go of you. You stood on your tiptoes to kiss his lips and then stepped away, returning to your mission.

Fifteen minutes later, the two of you were sitting at the table to eat. Stephen had chosen a bottle of red to open and you allowed yourself a glass that he generously poured before pouring his own and sitting down.

"It's always so rewarding to sit at the table to have dinner with you after a day of doing the things I do." He confessed, sipping from his glass and allowing himself a bite of the mac & cheese. "Oh this is delicious!"

You smiled as you watched him devour a second bite. This was your favorite part of cooking for him. It might have been a little weird, but you really loved watching him eat, especially when it was something you had cooked for him.

You allowed yourself a bite too and smiled contentedly. "Okay, this is really good."

"I told you!" He said, smiling, and you found yourself thinking that it was possible to endure the bad days and the terrible days, as long as you had Stephen by your side. After all, he was the only one who could make you feel good even when everything around you seemed to be falling apart. He saved you from the world and especially from yourself, and you could see yourself going on as long as he was there for you.

Reblog please! Leave a comment if you liked it. Interact! I will love to read all of your comments and opinions. It inspires me to keep writing!

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[mykingdomforapen]

I'm thinking today about Lu Guang's next best friend. The one he meets, after Cheng Xiaoshi. How in the beginning of their friendship, they notice how Lu Guang gets anxious around the idea of autumn. They hear him mention how September is his least favorite month, and it takes several years of assuming it's to do with the weather before they find out the real reason why. Or how he has a precise eye of how to take a photo, and he tells them that his best friend taught him how--his other best friend, no, you've never met him. He passed away, two years ago. Thanks, man. We don't have to talk about it.

I wonder how long it took before this new best friend saw Lu Guang cry. I think when it happened, it was when Lu Guang least expected it. Because he thought he was doing fine, and then something twists, reality twinges, and Cheng Xiaoshi's ghost is visible even to them before they even knew his name.

I wonder how the best friend worried about Lu Guang. Knowing that there was a grief and sorrow that they did not understand, did not know how to care for just yet. They loved through trial and error, awkward and clumsy and earnest. They feel like they could have done more, but they didn't know how.

If Lu Guang had a new best friend--and he would, he has many years ahead of him, and so much love to spread around--he would learn to love things he hadn't indulged in before. Maybe his new best friend introduces him to Korean food. Maybe they share a tradition, like exchanging homemade dumplings during the holidays, or hiking a new mountain every summer. Maybe they teach him about species of jellyfish, or the history of the Smurfs, or how to say curse words in Russian. I think it would happen so slowly, so naturally, he doesn't realise how new it all is to him until he sits back and wishes he could tell Cheng Xiaoshi about all of it, because he misses sharing a life with his friend.

Maybe they met on the basketball court, but I don't think so. I don't think Lu Guang has touched a basketball in a while, and his new best friend is a bit asthmatic so it all works out. But at one point they'll be passing a court and a couple of kids ask them to throw back a runaway ball. Lu Guang will shoot it across the chain link fence with surprising arm and ease, and his new best friend would say, I didn't know you could play basketball!

Not for a while, Lu Guang would say. My friend and I used to play a lot when we were in school.

The new best friend would have an inkling that he means the one who died, the one whose name Lu Guang mentions only to his intimates, and it'll take some time before they are included.

It might take a year or two to learn the name of Lu Guang's deceased friend. Cheng Xiaoshi. Lu Guang shared it as if it were made of gossamer glass. He missed saying it as much as he missed hearing it as much as he was terrified that he would fall apart as soon as he said it. But once he said it, he starved to tell his new best friend again, and again, and again. Cheng Xiaoshi. His name was Cheng Xiaoshi. I had a best friend named Cheng Xiaoshi.

They're a little nervous to say it, sometimes, because there are little opportunities to need it. They never met Cheng Xiaoshi before. They have no mutual friends except for Lu Guang. It feels shy, almost unearned, and yet the first time they say Cheng Xiaoshi's name (my old roommate--oh, was it Cheng Xiaoshi?) Lu Guang's heart skips a beat. He was here, Lu Guang remembers. He was here once, and he existed, and all of this missing isn't just my imagination.

(Do you have a picture of him?) Tons. Well, stupid ones. He liked taking photos more. Um. Here. You can scroll around.

(He looks so joyful.) He was. ...you know, this one time, he and I went on a trip and...

(He sounds like such a funny guy.) You have no idea. He used to always laugh at this joke about a cucumber that...

(You really love him.)

(I wish I had gotten to meet him.) I wish you did too.

[staticymaticyyourlifeisatravesty]

Starved

(Dorn is deeply concerned about his niece and the way she's getting weaker)

Tags: TW Child Neglect, Good intentions with terrible consequences, TW Child Abuse, TW Disordered Eating Self Dehumanization, Bad Self esteem

Also @jaghatai-khock for mentions of Zadkiel

Rogal Dorn was worried. Scratch that, he was deeply and unfathomably concerned. Something was wrong with Lilith that much he knew. She wouldn't tell him what was wrong but something clearly was. She was getting weaker by the day, and her eyes were no longer the vibrant red he first saw when they met. They had turned to a bright almost tarnished looking gold, and it didn't escape his notice that she didn't fly as much anymore. She still flew, of course she did, Dorn would be concerned if she stopped entirely, but the fact remains that five years ago it wasn't uncommon for her to be found perched on spires or window sills. There was also a matter of her age, she was supposed to be fifteen this year...but Dorn felt that she hadn't aged much at all, physically or otherwise.

It was worrying, and he was unable to get any answers from anyone aside from a cryptic "Oh that's just her mutations doing that". Dorn wasn't so sure. The Primarchs aged quickly into adults, and before this she was aging at the same rate as a baseline. If anything, she should be aging quicker, not slower. But what was really concerning Dorn was how thin she looked these days. Her face was sharp and boney, bereft of any puppy fat that should've been there at this age. He knew Sanguinius thought her blood drinking was the result of the Red thirst, but looking over at Lilith, she just looked sick to him.

"Lilith, have you eaten today?" Dorn asks her cautiously as she sits on the floor, focused intently on a sketch. She'd been drawing more often lately, though her lines were shaky these days. She also seems to be intensely focused and after a few moments, Dorn clears his throat to get her attention, "Lilith, I asked if you've eaten"'

"I had some soup earlier" Lilith responded looking up from her drawing "I haven't really been able to keep much down lately. Please don't tell Father...he's got enough on his plate. H-he doesn't need to know about this. He's got Zad and the new baby. I'll be fine"

That just started alarm bells in Dorn's brain who decided to see if he could get more answers out of her, "What do you mean you haven't been able to keep much down? And why do you think your father doesn't need to know? You are just as important as the rest, if there is a problem, he should know"

"I'm fine! It's just... some illness is all. I'll be fine, uncle Rogal. You don't have to worry about me. Kakek says that the medicine should be doing their job soon, he says it might take a few days" Lilith replies to him, and gives a reassuring smile, leaving Dorn wondering if her fangs were always that big, or if they've gotten longer.

"You told me this three months ago. You're getting worse. Tell me what is truly wrong with you" He pushes "You are ill, and you are losing weight. You're eyes are not the colour they should be, and your feathers...you have been molting far more then you should. They shouldn't look so ragged" He says gesturing to her wings which were a far cry from how they once looked, patchy with bald spots that she's desperately tried to keep hidden.

"I-" Lilith just looked uncomfortable and looked away from Dorn, "Father has other kids doesn't he?" She instead asks, a slight reverb coming to her voice as it shakes, "He doesn't... He doesn't need a monster like me. He's probably ashamed of me... I mean look at how happy he is with Zad...he never looks at me like that anymore..."

"Your father loves you, he does. Don't call yourself a monster, no child is a monster" Dorn says pulling her into his lap, being mindful of her wings "You are his eldest, his first and currently only daughter. He loves you more then you know, why would he be ashamed?"

"Because I'm hungry! I can't eat food! Every time I eat anymore it all tastes bad! Pa wanted me to stop drinking blood! And the way he looks at me! Pa never looked at me like that! Maybe he's realized that the elders were right" Lilith sobs, bursting into tears, she's completely unable to stop both her accent and reverb from fully entering her voice, and Dorn just holds her closer.

He's angry at both Lilith's plight and at his brother, but he feels useless because he has the feeling that no one would listen. So he opts to just hold her in his arms. "Do you think some blood might help you? Does that still taste good to you?" He tentatively asks her "If I were to cut myself, would you drink?"

Lilith stiffens in his arms before pushing herself away from him and quickly standing up, swaying a little before she steadies herself, "No, no I won't feed on you, uncle. I haven't had blood in....I don't remember, but I don't need it, I'm fine. I-I just have to wait for the medication to work"

It broke his heart how desperate she sounded, and he wondered if slapping his brother across the face was warranted here. It was so clear to him that she was suffering, and if it was blood she needed... "Lilith, listen to me, you need blood. You are sick. If the medicine has done nothing now, it will not do so in the future. Please let me he- LILITH!"

While Dorn had been speaking, Lilith swayed dangerously before suddenly collapsing, Dorn catching her from falling completely to the floor. He quickly checked to see if she was alright, yet she'd clearly fainted "Lilith, Lili, please wake up, did you move too quickly?"

With no response from Lilith, and him listening closely to hear a very faint heart rate; Dorn panicks. She needs to be brought to an apothecary and quite frankly he was not trusting of Malcador or the Emperor in the slightest. Instead he was going hunt down one of the Blood Angel's apothecaries. They would know what to do better then he. Maybe they can give her a blood transfusion, he doesn't know.

All he knows is that Lilith is lighter then she should be, pale with her freckles standing out far to starkly against her skin, and she was cold. So very cold. That wasn't even speaking of her heart rate, which he swore was getting weaker until he certain there was a full minute between beats. He regretted not saying earlier.

He regretted it so fucking much.

[sitepathos]

Hello. I know this might sound dramatic, but I want you to know that you probably save my life tonight.

I was having a really bad day. My family doesn't understand me enough to care, and maybe my issue with my family is the reason why I found comfort in Batfam fics. Today, everything just got worse. My father yelled at me for something he didn't even know, I don't know why he even had the audacity to speak when he doesn't even know the matter, and now I can't speak and yell at his face that he's wrong because I am a child and not a parent, I would be considered "disrespectful" if I wanted to speak what is right and true.

I was really begging any Gods at that point to take me. I was thinking of ways to execute myself tonight. I was planning to starve myself tomorrow and ignore today's dinner. I was planning on searching what's "Metoprolol" is because growing up as a kid, I always think that "concern" is a form of love, and maybe if they saw my dead body tonight, maybe they'll cry because they love me. I know this is bad. I know this is inappropriate to say, but when I tried to atleast make myself feel better and decided to read Batfam fics again, I saw your new chapter of From Gold to Mold and it genuinely makes everything better. I didn't want to read Chapter 3 because I saw the comments that you left it with a cliffhanger, and I hate that, and decided to wait for the next chapter instead. Ever since I saw the new chapter, I actually ate dinner, because atleast I know there's still things in this world that makes me happy. When I saw your new chapter, I asked God, "Is this your way of comforting me?", and I want you to know that your work is a form of blessing for me. I started thanking God at that moment, and told myself that I also want to thank you.

I actually don't read Batman comics, or watch Batman. I never read or watch any DC movies before, but Batfam fics is about a family that I will always desire yet never really grasp. I wish for all Batfam authors to live the life they wanted.

I am very sorry for saying this, and straight up said that I was actually considering doing it. I am very aware that this is inappropriate but I really, really, really want to tell you that you save me. I know saying that a "fanfiction" save my life sounds ridiculous, but that's where I found my comfort in, and I would be willing to be ridicule at if it means showing what genuinely makes me happy. I will always love your works even if it means showing my lack of redamancy for my family, or even hatred if I have to admit. This doesn't mean that you are a start of my rebellion. I am only stating that you are a light in my times of darkness.

Thank you.

Wow, ok, wasn’t expecting my work to have such an impact. Good to know.

First of all, I’m glad you’re enjoying the series! When this idea popped into my head, I wasn’t sure if there would be many who’d actually enjoy it. With people like you, I’m inspired to put all that I have into From Gold to Mold! I hope my future work meets and exceeds all your expectations!

Second of all, I’m so sorry that you’re going through such a rough time in your life right now. Since you were brave to share a part of you for all to see, I’ll share something, too. About five years ago, my mother was a major junkie. With that, plus her narcissism, led her to divorcing my stepdad (who brought me out of my shell and made me a better version of myself) and moved us to my grandmother’s house after my grandfather died after battling lung cancer. Living with her was a nightmare, constantly walking around eggshells for fear of pissing her off, her stealing money from my grandmother, and yelling at everyone. She was always riding my ass to get a job just so she could take money from me. Early 2020, she was finally evicted and it’s just my grandmother and I living together.

She’s actually cleaned herself up and we enjoy a decent relationship.

So, while things look horrible and it may take a while, things do get better. I’m rooting for you.

[glitterinmyveinss]

// fuck it i love you //

wes borland x fem! reader

summary: you and wes have had feelings for eachother since the sandbox days, but neither of you have ever admitted it, until alcohol and jealousy gets in the way.

chapter 2

❥༄ me and wes have known eachother ever since i was 10 and he was 12. that's when him and fred started hanging out, and with fred being my brother and us living in the same house and all, meant that me and wes saw each other basically everyday after school. most of the time him and fred would be in the garage playing their instruments or skating. but sometimes they would bug me. although it was really only fred who would do the bugging, wes was always kind to me and never even teased me.

❥༄ i was on the couch watching the simpsons, when fred and wes came in and took up the whole couch, fred stole the remote from my hands. "i'm watching something!" i tried to grab the remote back, but of course he was stronger. "so?" he chuckled. "hey wes what should we watch?" i could see wes out the corner of my eye. he had a hesitant look on his face that was mixed with, sympathy? "i'm fine with the simpsons, i've never seen that episode anyway" i turned my head fully to make eye contact with him, when he noticed he gave me a shy smile, i returned it, feeling butterflies in my tummy. fred looked at both of us with disgust "you guys suck!"

❥༄ that was a long while ago, now im in my junior year of highschool while fred and wes have been graduates for a year. they began taking their music seriously, and formed a band. i had to admit, they sounded pretty good. i knew they would make a name for themselves somehow. it was the end of the school day and i was waiting for fred to pick me up since my car was in the shop and none of my friends could give me a ride. after about 10 mins of waiting, fred pulls up with wes in the passenger seat. i gulped as i began to feel those butterflies i've been feeling for 6 years start their swarming again. i hopped in the back. "hey how was school?" fred asked. i shrugged and took my backpack off "it was whatever." he nodded and began driving away from the school "you hungry?" he asked. you were actually starving considering the lunch today was horrible. "yeah could we get taco bell?" i pleaded. Wes jumped up from his slouching position at this, "oh yeah i've been craving tb all day" he turned to give me a thumbs up and a wink. i gave him a sheepish smile and returned the thumbs up. fred groaned "fine but only cause i just got payed" he turned up his music and began driving to taco bell. yay! suddenly wes spoke up "hey who's gonna be at the party tonight?" party? you weren't invited! but then again, when were you ever invited to one? fred began listing some names when you suddenly interrupted him. "can i go?" fred started bursting out laughing. "yeah like i'm gonna bring my kid sister to a keg party." "i'm only 2 years younger asshole! come on please?" fred kept laughing "no way y/n. forget it" i let out a huff of air and opened my mouth to protest, but then wes spoke up. "come on dude let her go. i mean, what's the deal?" i felt my face get hot and i immediately shushed up. why was wes helping me out? did he want me there? ugh he made it so easy to like him. Fred looked at him, gob smacked "seriously? she's like 5 compared to us and everyone else there, she's never even been to a highschool party yet." you slapped the back of his neck, earning a groan from him. yeah it was the truth, but he just totally humiliated you in front of wes! "dude she's old enough to take care of herself. and wouldn't it be better if she went to her first party with us instead of some guys we don't even know? at least we'd keep an eye out for her." wes explained. Fred stayed quiet for a moment. i was in the backseat freaking out. why was wes helping me out so much? i mean of course i appreciated it but i was basically star struck. my brothers hot friend wanted me at a party? score! finally after about a minute of silence, fred spoke up. "fine" he grunted. "yay!" i gave him a hug from behind the seat. "but i don't want you talking to any guys besides me or wes ok? and stay where i can see you!" i wasn't really paying attention. i was just excited for my first party. "ok ok i promise!" he rolled his eyes as he pulled into the tb drive thru

❥༄ it was about 6 hours later and i was ready to go. i put my best makeup and outfit on along with the perfect hairstyle. i went downstairs once i was done, where i saw fred and wes waiting for me. fred jumped up from the couch, keys in hand. "finally!" i rolled my eyes and began following them out of the door, wes and i were trailing behind fred, when wes suddenly bent down to my level. "you look really nice tonight" when i looked up at him, he had a shy smile on his face, his cheeks a slight red, along with his ears. my face turned the same strawberry color as his as i looked down with the same smile as well. "thanks wes. so do you" he opened the backseat door for me, as usual, then hopped in the front with fred. my head was already spinning and i haven't even had any alcohol yet. ugh!

❥༄ we arrived to the party, and as soon as we entered the home it was being thrown at, you noticed a group of 4 waiting at the front door. 2 girls and 2 boys. one of the girls had skunk hair like christina aguilara with makeup like hers too. beside her was the other girl who had black hair with purple streaks. she had heavy dark makeup along with many facial and ear piercings. the two boys were dressed in the same style as fred and wes, basically matching. i suddenly understood what fred meant. i did feel 5 compared to these people. especially the girls. we began making our way towards them, fred and wes greeting the boys first, then the girls. fred began introducing me to everyone. "this is my sister y/n. y/n this is harmony, zayra, jay, and sean.” everyone said hi and waved, except harmony, she was just...staring at me. like i had something on my face. she was the one with the purple streaks. Zayra began to attack me with her compliments. "omg i love your outfit! where are your jeans from?" "oh they're miss mes. i got them at the mall a while ago." i said shyly. she put her arm around my shoulder, "another girl with taste! i like you already! let's go drink!" i obeyed her as she began dragging me to a counter that was littered with various liquor bottles and beer cans. empty and full. "so you're freds kid sister right?" she asked while handing me a shot of something. i was debating on drinking it or not. then i thought, fuck it. i downed it while making a face then answered. "yeah but i'm only younger by two years!" she let out a loud chuckle at my reaction. "you're so cute! you're my girl for the night, harmonys being weird." she said while rolling her eyes, then taking a shot for herself. i didn't wanna pry and ask why, i knew it'd be rude. so instead, i began copying zayra and downing shots like my life depended on it. zayra patted my back in response. "that's the spirit y/n!"

❥༄ it was a while later and the liquor was defiantly kicking in. me and zayra were dancing like crazy together when i suddenly spotted wes and harmony out the corner of my eye. it looked like they were arguing. wes kept looking away while harmony was forcing her hands on his face. i think wes felt me staring because he suddenly locked eyes with me, then me and harmony locked eyes. she grabbed wes's face and slammed their lips together. i looked away, feeling so crushed. how stupid could i be? why would wes want someone like me when he has someone like harmony in his life. she's so much older and cooler. she didn't have to beg her mom to add more minutes on her phone, or be forced to take algebra again. she was grown like wes. i knew i'd have to get over this school girl crush sooner or later, but i didn't think it'd go like this. i stooped dancing and leaned towards zayra's ear, "im gonna go get some fresh air." she nodded and continued dancing.

❥༄ i made my way through the crowd of bodies towards the backyard. whoever's house this was, is blessed. there was a huge pool, a hot tub, and a wooden porch swing. i decided to sit on the swing and pull out a cig from my back pocket. i groaned in frustration as i realized i didn't have a lighter. just then a shadow casted over me, and a voice spoke up. "need a light?" it was wes with his dark blue lighter. "yeah...thanks." i wasn't really looking at him as i spoke. he held the lighter to my lips, i positioned the lighter in a way where the embers would catch the fire being emerged from the metal object. i locked eyes with his big brown ones while doing so, it was like i was stargazing. i also didn't know if it was him or the liquor that was making me feel like i had to puke. he took the space next to me and began making the swing rock back and forth. i decided i needed to pop the question now or it would eat me alive. "so you and harmony?" he whipped his head towards me and began fidgeting with his ear. he only did that when nervous. "what about me and harmony?" he spoke. thanks to all those random shots me and zayra were pounding, i had an insane amount of liquid courage. "oh come on wes! i saw you two basically sucking each others faces. i mean why would you compliment me tonight if you dint like me?" he was staring at me for a while, then he began to speak up but i cut him off. "do you even know how long i've liked you? how much i like you?" things went quiet and he was just staring at me. after a minute he spoke up with a stern voice "do you mean what you say?" i looked at him with a dumbfounded expression. how clueless could he be? "yes! and i know you just see me as some stupid little girl, but i've liked you for years." i began to walk away. until he grabbed my arm, forcing me to turn around. "wow when did i ever say that?" he had a worried expression. "you don't have to! i can tell that's what you and harmony were thinking!" he shook his head before speaking. "y/n harmony's just some jealous ex who won't leave me alone." i looked up at him with my brows furrowed "really?" "yeah!" he said while nodding profusely. we stayed staring at eachother, awkwardly, until i decided to break the silence. "why did you guys break up?" he chuckled a little before he spoke up, he began playing with his ear again too. "when i realized i started liking someone else way more than i liked her." wow. i swore i heard my heart shatter for the second time that night. "who?" i asked, the question making my throat burn and eyes water. then he did something totally unexpected, he grabbed my face with both of his hands, cupping my cheeks with a soft smile, then he connected our lips. i felt like there were a million fireworks exploding all over my body, my hands were shaky and my heart was daring to jump out of my chest. the alcohol was definitely adding fuel to the fire as well. my head felt like it was spinning at 100 mph. the kiss lasted for a minute until i broke away. "does that answer your question?" he said in a dorky voice with a smirk. i giggled while swatting his chest. "yeah it did weirdo." he laughed again. he had this far away look in his eye, just staring at me before he began dragging me back to the party. "what are you doing?" i slightly yelped. "come on! i wanna dance!" he proclaimed with a huge smile. i happily obliged and began following him back into the house.

❥༄ i felt eyes on me as soon as we started dancing, i turned to see harmony, staring at me with daggers in her eyes. sober me would've ignored her, but drunk me had balls. i grabbed wes and kissed him, while keeping eye contact with harmony, just returning the favor! she stomped out the house through the front door. when i pulled away from wes, he looked at me with a huge smile and twinkling eyes. "what was that for?" he said with a chuckle. "i just...felt like it." i said with a giggle. he returned the laugh and we continued dancing. the night ended with me wearing wes's hoodie, and drifting off in the back of fred's car, forever grateful for this night.

[yardsards]

if i could change one thing about the owl house, i'd change the main point of conflict in clouds on the horizon from "odalia's okay with genocide, alador isn't" to "alador is willing to listen to his children, odalia isn't"

first off, i'd make it so that odalia *didn't* know what the draining spell actually did. her knowingly participating in genocide just serves to overshadow her pre-established abusiveness, and feels like the writers didn't trust the audience to understand that she was Bad and deserved to be cut out of her family's lives on the basis of abuse alone.

(also it. kinda doesn't make sense why she'd be okay with it? like she is greedy and short-sighted. but the draining spell would negatively impact her personally, and while the idea of her being so distracted by greed that she acts against her own interests is extremely neat and an apt commentary on real billionaires, it's just,,, a big stretch.)

instead, i'd have her dismiss the truth with "i'm not going to put such a good business deal in jeopardy because of some unfounded suspicions" and "i trust the emperor far more than i trust a bunch of children"

next, i'd replace the scene where king talks to alador. while it was a really nice scene that revealed more about alador's situation and kinda laid the groundwork for king being helpful in the next episode, it's not the best way for alador to learn about the draining spell in my version of the episode. because in that scene, alador believes king is a coven scout -an authority figure- so trusting what he says about the day of unity is not any kind of challenge for alador.

instead, i'd make it so that *emira and edric* are the ones who tell him about the draining spell (maybe king helped the twins escape? that gives him a purpose within the episode and there's a fun parallel with him freeing the collector later).

i don't think the twins were deliberately looking for alador, but they saw him sitting out there as they broke out and they had two choices: sneak past him and continue trying to stop things themselves, or talk to him. and they don't quite trust alador to listen and do the right thing, but amity seemed so convinced when she told them he'd listen, and they trust *her*, so they decide to talk to him.

and he listens and promises to put a stop to it. and he tells them to go find safety, and emira is like "but shouldn't we stay and help/make sure amity is safe" and alador tells her that it should have never been her responsibility to handle everything (i am starving for her whole parentified older sister thing to get addressed can you tell) and promises that he's going to do better for all of them, and apologizes for being so negligent -and Maybe explains a bit of why he was like that and what odalia did to him (if i could fit it in without it being clunky and keeping it clear that it's an explanation not a full excuse)

so the twins go to take shelter at hexside (no more "wtf did he just leave them in gay baby jail???" that we had in canon) and alador and king go confront odalia/save amity like in canon

and then in that confrontation, perhaps alador brings up the abuse and overwork (since it maybe wouldn't come up in my rewritten scene w him and the twins like it did in canon's scene w him and king). and the general vibe w him confronting her is less "this is the final straw" and more "i should have done this years ago"

and overall i'd want the episode to keep the "he is also a domestic abuse victim and, at times, messed up because he was acting out of fear and trying to protect them" that it introduced in the canon version of the episode (i know some people have criticized the show's choice to make him a victim too and while i can understand some of their reasons i overall liked the concept so it stays) while keeping in mind the "sometimes he messed up because he was trying to do what was 'best' for his kids whilst ignoring what the kids actually wanted/needed" that they established in reaching out

[tears-grow-gardens]

TW- ed rant

This is my first ever tumblr post. Normally I'm just a wall flower, sitting quietly in the tumblr corner reading other peoples posts and thoughts hoping to feel less alone in my own mind. I'm not even sure what I want to say but for the past 4 years I have struggled with my eating, some days are really bad and other days it's just like an itch, like I know all the rules, fear and guilt that has stained me but I feel stronger not to let it win. 2-3 years ago I was at my worst, I was in my 3rd year of University, I had lost all hope and drive in my life and I let everything crumble through my fingers, I was failing classes, isolating from everyone, loosing sight of my dreams and what mattered to me. I don't know who was holding the wheel to my life but I felt I had lost control with all of it. I didn't know how to change or help myself, I was so tired of always feeling like a failure to myself and everyone around me. I had been dealing with depression and anxiety for so long and serious case of undiagnosed ADHD and all these feeling felt so permanent, like they would never go away, so I turned to something I felt I could control, which was food. There was nothing I hated more in the world than myself, my body, my face, the way that I believed people saw me. I hated every inch of who I was. I thought that if i could control what went in i would get the results I've always wanted and maybe even get to like the way I look. And the results came, it felt so good to be able to get something right, like for the first time in my life I didn't feel like a complete failure. The feeling of hunger gave me power, how I didn't have to say words to people that I was hurting inside because they could see it from the outside. Wake up, look in the mirror, walk, workout, coffee, walk, coffee, porridge, starve, walk, mirror, bed. This was my life but fortunately or unfortunately I was sniffed out like a rat from one of my house mates who confronted me, it felt like I was standing there naked and exposed with all my secrets written on my skin. After that I felt I had to change, I felt watched and analysed with every move I made. My weight goals put into a box, I tried to make amends with my body and mind but from the years to follow the voices never left my head. Sometimes the voices are merely a whisper and other days the voices are so loud it feels like everyone else can hear them too. Now here I am on tumblr 4 years later writing to say I have relapsed, not that I think I ever recovered but more I was idle with temptation to destroy myself and now I'm back, born again to hack my body to pieces. Ive found myself almost everyday purging in the bathroom, even if its been a normal, healthy meal. I just want to crawl out of my skin and shrink into nothing. I don't want to die and I don't want to live like this but i feel years of rage within me of unnoticed pain that I want to scream to the world and let them know. I have dreams and I want them to exist one day as true but I don't know how I'll ever rid myself of these dark paralysing thoughts. I'm so tired of feeling unloved and lonely, in my 22 years of life I have never known what it is or what it feels like when someone choses to love you. Im so convinced by my own hatred for myself that I believe everyone else sees me the way I do. The toxic thing is, is that I want this for myself, I want the hunger in sanctuary of starving, I want to feel small and fragile and i want people to worry, i want them to say "she's lost weight", while they ponder on how hurt I must be to have lost myself this far.

Anyway enough for one day. idk if anyone reads these long word vomit tumblr posts but thank you if you've read this far and welcome to my fkd up mind.

[miserable-sarah]

Pairings: Daryl x Reader Warnings: Mentions of 'death', arguing, mentions of cheating, bad language. I think that's it. Summary: Daryl and Y/n had a very special connection everyone knows it. You and Daryl are pretty much dating but after Rick, he just hasn't been the same.

A/n: Um.... I started watching TWD like a month ago and I'm obsessed. So now I have to write about more older men, who unfortunately don't know I'm alive. :)

~

Daryl has been gone for weeks, months. You're scared it's going to go into years. He won't leave those woods. You're afraid you're never going to see him again. Every time you find him and try to bring him back with you. he just tells you to go back home, give him more time, he'll be back soon. All things you know aren't true, he's not coming back anytime soon.

You sighed deeply thinking about how Daryl hasn't been in your bed in so long, he hasn't even been in this house. He barely comes past the walls. He just doesn't want to be here, and unfortunately you're not enough to keep him here.

You put on your boots, and threw on a jacket over your normal clothes. It's been colder out, fall is definitely coming. You walk out of the house putting on your happy face, you smiled and waved to the people you saw. You were going to try to bring food and water to Daryl today. He's probably starving. You go into the pantry and pick out a few little things no one is going to miss, you grab a bottle of water and put it in your bag.

"Where you heading?" You stop in your tracks and turn around.

"I don't know, just thought Daryl would be hungry, thirsty?" You say in a low voice. Carol knows all about you Daryl, she knows how depressed and upset you are everyday, she feels it too.

"Want me to come?" She asks, she already knows the answer but she asks anyway.

"No, I really just want to be by myself." She nods at you and pats your shoulder.

"Okay" You say quietly to yourself trying to lose the anxiety you have.

The guards opened the gate for you and gave you a nod. You walked down the road not even making it past the walls, you heard Daryls bike. You stood off the side and watched him pass you. You debated going back, go see him. Say hi. You decided not to, you figured you'd just go to his little cabin and drop the food and water off, any extra would be good for him anyway. Part of you hoped he saw you, part of you hoped he'd come out of the gates and chase you down. It didn't happen though.

-

You made it to his cabin, you freaked out a little when you saw a dog outside. You for sure thought it was a hungry dog going to eat you but he was well taken care of. Daryl must have found him. He only barked at you a few times before coming up to you, he let you pet him. Oh, how you missed dogs.

"Dog!" You heard a woman call out to him, he went to her immediately. You quickly hid behind his cabin. You don't want any trouble with anyone. When she was finally gone you snuck into his cabin. You went into the little kitchen area and placed food and water on the table.

You walked around his cabin, just looking. It was cozy but you wouldn't want to spend months out here, you really just can't wrap your head around why he does. You hear the door knob jingle, your first instinct is to reach for your knife and hide. You almost got up when you realized it's probably Daryl. You stayed behind a wall when you heard a woman, she came right into his cabin. You could feel confusion throughout your entire body.

"There you are." she walked right past you picking up a knife on the table. She stands by the table looking at the food and water. "Daryl? You here?" She shouts out. Your mouth drops, you feel heartache sinking in as you realize this isn't her first time here. She waits for an answer, when she doesn't get one she walks out. You hide behind the wall for a few minutes, honestly you think it's because you can't move.

Now listen, you and Daryl were never exclusive, never even confirmed you were dating. But it sure as hell felt like it. The talks you two had, the laughter, the crying, the always looking out for each other, always having each other's backs, the sex. He even told you about his childhood, he just wasn't a label kind of guy and you were okay with that. You just never thought he'd run into the woods, find a woman and stay out here with her.

You don't even know if that's the situation but right now. Right now at this very moment, you see red. You start going through his cabin you don't know why but maybe you can find something, you're starting to even wonder if he's still looking for Rick or if he gave up and started shacking up with the first women he saw who wasn't dead.

After a while you gave up, you sat on your knees with your head in your hands. 'What am I doing? I'm acting crazy.' You think to yourself. You hear the door open behind you, you stiffen up. You wanted to leave before Daryl got back so you didn't have to deal with this.

"Y/n?" He questions. You sigh defeated. You get off your knees and grab your bag.

"Sorry about the mess." You say emotionless, you go to open the door but he holds his arm out holding you back.

"Find what ya were lookin' for?" He asks looking around the place.

"No."

"What is it?" He easily pushes you back so you're facing him.

"Nothing." You try to keep all your emotions in. You just need to go home because if not you'll explode.

"This ain't nothin'." You can tell he's aggravated. You sigh and back up more so you have distance between the two of you.

"Who's the girl?" You say placing your hands on your hips. He gives you a weird look, he doesn't know how you know. He opens his mouth to speak but you cut him off. "Don't lie. I saw her here." He rubs the back of his neck.

"Jus' some girl. Lives in the woods too."

"Are you hooking up with her? She the reason you aren't coming home?" You just keep speaking you can't help the questions coming out of your mouth, you've been mad at him for months. He doesn't answer. You chuckle and shake your head at him. "Okay." You say taking his no answer as yes. "Move." You say in a deep voice, it even scares you a little bit. His eyes meet yours, you have no emotion except anger.

He knows he's been fucking a lot lately but he would never do that to you. He doesn't understand why you don't know that. He doesn't move he just keeps looking at you.

"Daryl, move. I'm leaving."

"Nah, you ain't goin'." He stands against the door. As anger pluses throughout your body, you've had enough. You try to make him move, which doesn't work he's too strong. "Stop." He mumbles, he grabs your arms and pulls you against him. You stay against him, you let some tears finally come down. You push against his chest to get out of his grip.

"Daryl let me go, I'm so angry. I don't want to fight."

"Nah, say what ya gotta say." He steps up to you with a little attitude.

"You aren't even looking for Rick anymore. You're out here fucking the first woman you saw that wasn't walker because what? You're so hurt, you're so lost? Or whatever excuse you come up with."

"It ain't none of your business what I do." He cuts you off "We ain't a couple, we ain't together." His words sting. You can see him getting more angry.

"Sure felt ike it." You cross your arms. "Until it didn't."

"Ya know why I'm out here Y/n!" He yells

"Fucking some girl isn't looking for Rick, Daryl!" You yell back.

Daryl steps up to you getting so close to you, you can feel his breath on your face. You can feel the anger radiating off him. "I ain't fucking her! Ya should know that!" He backs away from you a little "ya should know me." He says softer. You look at him, you can tell he's telling the truth. You can tell you hurt him.

"Daryl..." You say walking towards him slowly. "I'm sorry." You hold his face. "It's just been so rough, so hard lately. I've been so alone, I'm always worried about you. I just want you around and you're never there. I'm sorry I freaked out, but Daryl I don't know you anymore. You're just... gone." You say honestly. Darly looks down with sad eyes. He really knows he's fucked up by not staying with you. You're right you don't know him anymore.

"I jus' lost so much." He says, he's always short with words and expressing himself.

"I know. We both did." You say wrapping your arms around him.

"I'm sorry." He wraps his arms around you pulling you closer to him. "It'll change."

"Daryl, if you need to stay out here. It's okay, I understand."

"Nah, no. I don't needa stay." He pulls you in for a kiss. "I wanna go home, with my girlfriend." He kisses you again, you can't help but giggle into the kiss. You feel him smile against you.

"Girlfriend." You smile "I like the sound of that." You tease him. He nods agreeing, he gives you his signature smirk before planting another sweet kiss on your lips.

~

Hope you enjoyed reading!

[max-the-many]

Start here:

'body a day' #9: school:

And hell yeah it was waiting, packed with scruffy dudes, the occasional chicks, but I saw muscle over muscle, greeted several guys on the tble and many others my neigbour seemed to know. And not seldom I thought ablut how nice it would be, to try another huy, that blonde from the boys, that daddy at the bar, the asian that was asking me if I'd come.

But on top of that I didn't miss the guy that came to my place, or the place of my neighbour. Daniel was his name, and he couldn't take his eyes of me.

"Having a good time?" I said, lifting my beer with a smile as I joined him at the bar "Sorry again for the naked welcome"

He grinned before he lifted his beer aswell "No problem at all. As if we don't see each other naked at the lockers all the time"

"Thats true. Well, but not with that much of an excitement, I suppose " I stated, looking at him with a cheeky grin, before looking down for a split second. "But you know what. That fucker really needs a piss"

And after looking at him for another moment, I left for the bathroom.

What did I do! Whom was I! I never was like this, not a fraction of it! It just ran out of me! So playful, so cheeky, so free! And so fucking horny! When I ended up infront of the urinal the nice member of my neighbour already pumped quite the size.

And I just stood there, looked down and injoyed the new view, held that thing in hand and felt it's weight, the new sensation before the door opened again.

"Guess the pressure is contagious" I said as Daniel unpacked right besides me. And the second he lifted his head at me I grabbed his neck to pull him in for a greedy kiss. I even heared the splashing on the metal surface and pulled him onto the first stall as soon as he was done.

"Should have done this the moment you entered my flat" I stated before I pushed him down on his knees. And he went for it as if he was starving for month which possibly was pretty true. His look, his rections. He must have lusted over my neighbour for quite a while! And now it was for me to injoy...

---

We just finished as the asian guy, Noah, entered. I don't think he saw Daniel as I left him at the stall, but I could tell in his eyes, that he had a pretty good feeling of what just happened, answered my smile as I left the bathroom.

I webt for the bar again, took a sip of the beer I left. My neighbours body was awsome! Daniels lust, the possibilities with Noah, and surely several more just in that pib full of musk amd muscle. But I also couldn't stop thinking about having another body. And as my mind wandered, a pulse got stronger in my chest again, a warmth, an energy.

"What up" a voice cought my focus. It was a rather young guy I haven't noticed before. "So Daniel finally got it's load" he shot out blandly.

I froze for a second. This little fucker... But soon a grin arose on my lips.

"You got it all figured out, did you?"

Did my neighbour know him? Did they... had some fun? I couldn't tell. His cheeky smile could mean anything! And those eyes... made me feel so... caught.

"You bet"...

[almond-t0fu]

Imagine being roomates with Dazai. You both are students studying at the same school and same class. Him being one of the most popular kid at school and you being someone who nobody looks at. You were pretty sure no one knew that you both were roommates. (Fanfic idea)

Being Dazai's roomate means always have to clean up after him, have long conversation at night when you're supposed to be actually studying for the test next day or going out for walks late at night.

You can't deny the fact that you have feelings for him but what can you do? Confess? Dazai was one of the most popular kid and that means there were 100's of other girls and boys after him. You wouldn't even know who his current lover is since he changes them every other week. He would say that he's only passing his time with these people and there's no one who's actually interesting enough for him. You never really said anything about this since you had no right to meddle between his love life.

Until one day you came home and you saw your roommate looked up inside his room. That was something that never really happened. You waited for him to come out but he didn't. It was now late at night and you were getting really worried so you knocked on his door not really expecting him to open his door.

You heard him unlock the door and just lean forward to hug you. Of course that surprised you but you still hugged him back. Thinking that something serious might've happened you chose to be silent for some minutes and then you helped him get to his bed so you both can sit down. He was still hugging you. You were thinking about everything that might've happened but still were confused about why he was acting like this.

Then you remembered...

There was this girl he told you about. He said that unlike the other girls she chose to ignore him and that piqued his interest. You weren't really paying attention at that time but now you couldn't help but feel something bad bubbling up.

"hey-"

"never thought that this is how it feels to be rejected"

Huh? What? Rejected?

He slumped back into his bed and looked at you. Because of that you were finally able to see his face and the first thing you noticed was how red his eyes were.

He sighed and smiled a little. His gaze was still directed towards you.

You didn't like that gaze. It felt like you were being exposed...like he knew something that you're trying to hide from him.

"Dazai- i really don't know what happened but i can't just let you starve like this, let's go out of this room"

"no i don't want to" he turned to lay down on his stomach and then he turned his head to look at you (not good with positions so hope you understand).

"lay down for some minutes, please?" Sometimes you couldn't really help but agree to whatever this boy tells you to do. You layed down and looked at the ceiling. Yeah there was no way you're going to look at him when he's already looking at you.

"what was her name?" You asked.

" ________" he replied.

Anyone would notice that his voice softened the moment he said that name.

'i should get out of this room right now' you thought. You didn't know how much longer you could hold your own tears. Why did a random girl, that didn't even exist for him a month ago, steal this reaction from him? When you had been beside him for almost 4 years now? Why could he not look at you in a different way? Why couldn't he notice your affection for him? Why is it that when it comes to your feelings he becomes the most oblivious person? just why? every other week he would introduce you to his new lover and that would just leave you sad and jealous.

He cried because one girl rejected him but what about you?

You cried every time he mentioned how fun his date was.

You cried everytime you saw him and his lover do things you wanted to do with him.

You never realised when but thinking about those things made you even more sad and tired than you were before. It must've been the same for Dazai. It didn't take long for both of to doze off and dream about something you wouldn't want the othe to know.

[ this is another ff idea i got while doing my homework. Both of you are in a world where abilities don't exist. Y'all are free to choose the age and school stuff since i really don't know how the JP school system works. I wanted to make Dazai a bit more happier than he already is so maybe y'all can actually give him some real parents that doesn't hate him. I mean he's a top student so of course they wouldn't hate him, pretty sure they wouldn't know about him being a play boy (⁠─⁠.⁠─⁠|⁠|). So that's it i guess, i do have a Ranpo fic idea but i am struggling with the wording so that'll take some time. I really hope that you liked this idea and maybe it was interesting enough to make you imagine the whole story in your head with your own twists and turns :)

Ignore my grammar mistakes, this was written by a person who's not really good with English.

Have a nice day

Byee~]

[gay-mooshrooms]

I fear to stain your clothes with blood/Stain them. I don't care

Chapter 1

Look.

Maybe Wilbur didn't love going to camp.

Maybe he would whine, and complain, and annoy the crap out of Phil and Techno on the 3-hour car ride.

But! 

That did not mean he hated it. 

Sure it was far from the most enjoyable experience in the world. 

But sue him, the kids gave him some small shred of hope for humanity that he was oh so desperately lacking. 

It also helped that Tommy adored Camp Essempi. He had practically grown up there, been tagging along every summer since he was 7 after Phil bought the place. 

So now Wilbur found himself in his dad's grey van, listening to The Artic Monkeys at a very unhealthy volume, while he could see Techno gesturing in the seat in front of him. 

If he had to guess, Tech was probably monologuing about some new book he read or what he was planning for the campers or something.

Wilbur didn't really care. 

Tommy was directly next to him, and his head was now resting on his shoulder, where it had been slowly creeping toward for the past hour, in spite of him claiming, "Fuck you Wil! I'm not tired at all bitch!"

They really needed to work on his swearing problem.

But that was for another day. 

Right now Wilbur had to worry about how to stay sane with 2 more hours left on this car trip.

He debated trying to read a book he brought but considering the last time he'd tried reading a book in the car they'd had to pull over so he could throw up, he decided not to risk it. 

Listen to Techno rant? Wilbur thinks he'd rather take the vomit at that point.

He eventually just decides to take the easy way out. 

Turning his music down slightly, he lays his head on top of Tommy's, stretching the blanket he'd been hogging across them both, and letting his eyes shut. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

By the time he woke up, they were only 30 minutes away from camp, and Tommy was still dead to the world. 

Techno had fallen asleep at this point too, his head lolling so his long hair fell over the edge of the car seat.

How he lived with it that long Wilbur would never know. 

He removed one of his earbuds and was met with the soft sound of Here Comes the Sun drifting from the radio, Phil humming along quietly. 

A few seconds later, his dad looked up and saw him awake. 

"Oh Wil!" Phil said, smiling, "Didn't see that you were up. We stopped at McDonald's about 15 minutes ago and got some fries for you, figured you'd be hungry."

Wilbur immediately brightened and maybe grabby hands at his father. 

"Gimme food," he said, with all the eloquence of a toddler. 

Phil chuckled and handed over the brown paper bag. 

"Save some for Tommy, you know he'll be starving when he wakes up, and who knows what that will entail."

Wilbur nodded solemnly, suddenly reminded of the last long car trip they'd taken. 

A few minutes into starting on the fries, he felt Tommy stir beside him. 

"Ugh, do I smell food?" Tommy asked, his voice slightly hoarse. 

"Always hungry never satisfied," said Wilbur, which was not entirely inaccurate. Tommy ate like a fiend. 

"Ey!" Tommy blurted out, his head immediately shooting up and his hands raising. "Just cus you're as small as a twig doesn't mean I have to be. Plus I heard Niki's running some of the sports stuff and I am NOT doing that on an empty stomach."

Wilbur had to give him that, Niki, one of his old camp friends and now first-year counselor, was one of the nicest people he'd ever met, but also incredibly badass. 

She'd been one of Techno's favorite campers, and he, in turn, had been her favorite counselor, which meant she was an expert in most combat-based camp stuff. 

She terrified Wilbur and Tommy alike. 

Techno too, but he would only admit that to her.

"Fine fine gremlin child take your food," huffed Wilbur, handing over the bag.

Tommy grinned evilly up at him and began shoveling the food into his mouth like an animal, a raccoon perhaps. Or maybe a possum. 

Wilbur couldn't help but grimace and turn his attention back towards his older brother and father, who, now that Techno had woken up too, were discussing camp setup. 

"Listen, Phil," one of Techno's quirks, he almost never called Phil dad. "We have more campers this year, we're gonna need to buy some more stuff."

Phil shook his head, "It'll be fine Tech. And if not, we'll go out and get stuff. And anyway, it's not so much supplies I'm worried about but space. I think we'll have to raid some of the unused cabins for cots. The last thing I wanna do is force kids to sleep on the floor, "said Phil, chuckling. 

"It would be good for them, " Wilbur chimed in, "Builds character."

Phil laughed. 

"C'mon Wil, let's not give them scoliosis too early on in the summer."

"As I just stated, character building."

"Wilbur I swear to god."

The last 20 minutes of the drive were spent bickering about random topics or singing along to Hamilton.

The latter was, of course, Wilbur's request. 

But Tommy joined in too. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The sudden sound of crunching gravel alerted Wilbur to their imminent arrival at Essempi, a sound that bore equal parts joy and pain in his mind. 

It was at this point Tommy began bouncing off the walls, it was honestly a miracle he's lasted this long.

Usually about 2 hours in they had to stop for 15 minutes and just putter around a gas station.

Fortunately, Tommy had stayed up late last night with Wilbur, going over rules and his luggage over and over again to make sure he didn't forget anything. 

But once rested, Tommy's energy made a full recovery, and as soon as they had gotten their luggage out of the car he was full-on sprinting towards their cabin. 

Wilbur however, did not not follow so eagerly. 

Unlike Tommy, car trips didn't make him stir crazy, but rather tired, lethargic, and dead on his feet.

So, grumbling, he hoisted his backpack over his shoulders and grabbed his duffle, before trudging down the path behind his little brother. 

It didn't take long for his dad and Techno to catch up, his older brother giving him a small pat on his shoulder before moving past. 

Phil on the other hand, fell into stride alongside Wilbur and started humming Dear Theodosia, one of his favorites. 

"How are you feeling Wil?"

The words startled him, he hadn't exactly been expecting conversation. 

"Uh, fine?" he said, with a slight question in his tone. 

"I mean, a bit tired but nothing horrible."

Phil nodded, "OK. Just let us know if you need anything."

Wilbur couldn't help the small sigh that escaped him. 

He understood that his dad meant well. That he genuinely cared and wanted to help. But this was not what Wilbur needed. 

He never did well at the whole talking about your feelings thing. That was definitely Phil's department, and something he always encouraged in his kids. But somehow Wilbur never got the hand of that particular skill.

He didn't think any of them did really.

But he didn't say this, or anything remotely similar. 

Instead, he just nodded and said softly, "Alright, thanks dad."

Phil smiled, laid a hand on Wilbur's shoulder, gave a small squeeze, and then he was gone. 

Wilbur paused for a second, looking around at the slowly darkening sky, where the first glimpses of stars were visible.

He glanced at the trees, shaking in the slight breeze that was making him glad he wore a hoodie.

And finally, he looked back down the path, where beams of warm light could now be seen.

Wilbur took a deep inhale, readjusted his bag, and continued walking.

It was gonna be a long couple of months.

[imasadboi]

Raise The Stakes

Next

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CW: Blood, violence, stalking, kidnapping, death, vampirism, sex, blood drinking, drugging (with blood), ooc Leon, cutting (palm), (more to be added as series goes on).

Summary: Leon, a vampire turned against his will, believes he can get everything he lost through you. He will have you, not even your fiancé would deter him.

Word Count: 1,257

.

Hi, this will be my first fully fledged series. I've been working hard on this for this past month and intend to do weekly uploads. (If not weekly, then bi-weekly!) I hope you enjoy and look forward to future chapters. And don't ask for pings, please. Simply follow my blog to get future updates.

That night still rings in his mind like discordant notes—the night he was turned. His gums ache and his hands clench into tight fists as the memory threatens to replay in detail. All it took for his family to be lost to the hands of Death was a rogue vampire, a spawn of the Devil. By the cruel hands of fate, he was spared and awoke to the grim sight of his mother’s throat torn to shreds and bloodied. His father had his head torn from his body, the bone sticking out from the gaping wound. His younger sister’s body was nowhere to be found—at first. It wasn’t even a short walk down the road until he saw the way that beast had torn his beloved sister’s dress apart before doing the same to her mortal flesh. He cried out in agony at what had befallen his poor family.

Worst of all, the scent of iron hung cloyingly in the air. His new hunger was made known to him in brutal fashion. His mind was befuddled, as both human and beastly instincts fought to dominate his actions. As his new instincts took over, his nails elongated almost painfully from the roots. His canines grew longer causing his gums to chafe from the rapid growth. Senses heightened and everything became too much at once; The thought to give in crossed his mind at that moment.

But the one thing that held him true despite his entire being changing; rage. Pure, unadulterated rage. Whether God had decided to show him mercy that night or not, it was due to this feeling that kept him tethered to his humanity. Even through unabating hunger and lines of drool slipping down his chin, he steadily buried each family member. As he sought to repair the wreckage of his family home, he noticed the silver chain that lay on the floor, its only pendant, a dainty cross. His fingers burned upon contact, before he ripped a piece of cloth from his already torn shirt and picked it up. He held it close to him for a moment before pocketing it. He wouldn’t rest until that vampire had paid for what he’d done.

Leon regains his bearings as he’s finally released from the memories of his past. From his palms, rivulets of blood flow freely. He quickly rids himself of his tight grip, nails no longer digging into soft flesh. He grimaces at how he’s let 100 years slip by without any progress. Sure, he’s hunted down other vampires yet the one he looks for never seems to be around. He shakes his head in frustration, his obsession beginning to crawl back into his mind like a decrepit parasite when a wave of nausea washes over him. Hunger. How long ago did he feed? He can’t recall. Time no longer ties him to this plane of existence. What would be the point in keeping track of the seasons, of the sun rising and falling when he can no longer feel its rays on his skin—skin that’s become paler with each passing day.

He grimaces how foreign his thoughts have become, how less human he’s become. But now’s not the time to be thinking of his ever fading humanity. He needs to eat. All he really needs is himself, so he gets up from the throne he’s sat on. He dusts off imaginary dirt from his lap and sets off to find yet another poor animal to claim as his victim. If there was one thing he’d swore never to do was feed on a human. 

Can’t really uphold that promise if I keep starving myself, he thinks. I wonder if it’ll be wolves or unsuspecting deer on the menu tonight. 

Finally out of the castle—one that was so graciously empty—his eyes linger onto the forest that lies ahead. Just as he’s about to take a step, he hears hushed voices. Part of him feels annoyed that someone’s decided trespassing was a suitable nighttime activity but his curiosity also gets the best of him. He makes his way towards the voices, keeping to the shadows. 

“We really shouldn’t be out here,” a voice says quietly, yet with the night so hushed, they might as well have been yelling. 

“We’ll be fine, you know you don’t have to be scared with me around, right?”

Leon hears the hesitance in the other’s voice just before they speak, “I know but there’s been more animal attacks as of lately. I don’t want anything bad to happen.”

“You have such an imagination, but that’s what I’ve always liked about you. I didn’t want us to miss this chance to be together with all the wedding planning that’s been going on. I’ve missed you. Missed us being alone together.”

Leon feels a pang of jealousy as his confliction has yet again robbed him of something so precious. Something he as a vampire will never get to have again. He moves to get a closer look at the couple before him when he carelessly steps on a layward branch. He holds his breath, more  out of habit than anything, as he quickly moves to obscure himself.

“Did you hear that?” The first voice asks.

“Hear what?” Leon hopes the second person might convince the both of them to continue with their walk but the first voice pipes in again.

“Is anybody there?” Leon decides to keep quiet, hoping they both lose interest.

“See, it was nothing, let’s just keep walking. We only have so much time before we have to head back.”

Leon listens to the pair of footsteps walk away but that ache in his chest doesn’t seem to go away.

Would it really be so bad to keep an eye on them? Leon deliberates as his feet follow after them, I just have to make sure they stay safe. He doesn’t know what he’s trying to convince himself of, the morality of stalking after a couple or if he’s really doing this with their best interest at heart. 

He follows them for some time, keeping a good few paces behind so as to not arouse suspicion. It’s only when they stop to settle down in the grass does he catch sight of them both. The first he sees is a man, dark-haired and brown-eyed. He’s got a smile on his face as he talks to his partner, you. 

The moon hangs high in the sky and perfectly illuminates your being to Leon. His eyes widen a fraction as he takes in your appearance. The smile you reflect back at your partner tugs at his heart. He can’t help but want it for himself. He’d do anything to have it all for himself. A feeling cements itself in his brain, he had everything he loved taken away from him in an instant. But you, he could have you, right? It doesn’t matter that you’re engaged to be married.

You would be his, no matter what it took. But acting too hastily is ill-advised, he knows capturing you had to be done with care and planning. And most of all, he had to make sure nothing and no one would get in his way, that included your so-called fiancé.

He memorizes your scent carried over to him by the wind. A slight shiver runs down his spine. He lingers to take one more glance at you before departing. He makes quick work of dinner and walks directly back to his abode. His dead heart beating in anticipation of what’s to come.

[lorkonsghost]

I'm sad today for a few reasons work, and the soon to be three year anniversary of a friends death I will now tell you why I prefer bad mother Talia and why his favorite Robin was Damian Wayne. My friend was raised from birth to 14 years old not knowing who his dad was and mildly abusive mother I don't want talk about all thing she did because she's going to take up most of story and the sole reason my friend dead so fuck her. But when my friend was 14 because his mom got fired from her job and she didn't want to actually go looking for a job she dropped my friend off at his bio dads told him he was his son and left. Now like Damian he looked just like his dad and his dad had no clue he had a kid and unlike Damian he had no siblings and his mom 100% had no good relationship with his dad and definitely took advantage of drunk college kid who 16 years younger than her. So imagine your 35 year old man and the woman who he had sex with once almost 15 years ago tells you have kid and he looks like you but dose that even matter she just abandon her kid at his door step and like Bruce Wayne he doesn't kick the kid out or blame the kid but has DNA test done to prove he his well you know what happened he was his kid. So know he goes to court to get parental rights so he doesn't have to go back with his mom. Now some more Damian Wayne similarities he was angry who had undiagnosed autism who was neglected by his mother was desperately touched starved but his dad was a saint and tried to help him the best ways he could. Let me tell you I wish this story had happy ending but he got good few years after that we met up read comics together at my place since me and my family have decent comic collection I can't remember the run name on top of my head but we read the run Damian was introduced he was so happy a kid who had same shit hand dealt I remember my first time reading hating how Talia was depicted but now it my favorite Talia because everytime I read it I remember my friend and his shit hand and how his dad tried to help his son. Now I should explain why it's his mom fault my friend dead he was diagnosed with something I don't feel totally ok with sharing since you could find out who was with it but safe to say he was told he needed to be in assisted living situation shortly after his mom tried to force the court to put him under her care again since she would be given tax exemption from him just living their and she hired a really good lawyer and my friend saw his and his father's hand in the case and their was a good chance she could take him back so instead of even chance with living with her again he killed himself the trail never even made it to court. This is why I like bad mother Talia because every time I write something she deserves her getting her just deserts I feel a little better it's or anything bad happening to her I know it was the creator being islamophobic I don't care if can write legally distinct fanfic about a person who I hate and getting beaten up I'll take it.

I feel like you guys are owed some more facts about him he used to call his dad his Batman when he talked about him. He eventually had a step mother who actually tried to be a mom but sadly she only knew him for a few months I remember her crying the hardest at his funeral how it wasn't fair she couldn't hold him longer apparently she couldn't have children so when she learned her boyfriend at the time had a kid although he was adult she was happy. He liked Godzilla a lot he had some of black and white movies. He was the only person I ever met who liked the batman and Robin movie the one bat suit nipples and Mr freeze. He had hated when people ignored him he would start to hit your arm until you at least acknowledged his existence he tried this once with a teacher and he got detention so fast. He wanted to work in 3d animation. He owned but never read the homestuck epilogue books. I only got one thing from him sadly his 3d model folder I would show you guys his work but I can't look at his art without crying so I rather not.

Goodbye my friend my Damian Wayne from your Jon Kent