#I really just wanted to write about Slinger's saloon

[robinsarm]

So, what if the killer realms offered more than just a home for killers and trial space?? What would they hold? Some DBD headcanons that I haven’t really seen before. Do tag me if this has been done but I just wanted to make my own list. 

(For reference, I’m not replacing the canon bloodweb, I just thought, “what if the survivors/killers weren’t getting enough from their bloodwebs?”)

Macmillan Estates: Bog Laurels and Sweet Williams (Objective and Boldness offerings) At first, Trapper was very protective of the plants. He didn’t want the survivors to get more bloodpoints for being annoying. It used to be a whole separate trial endeavor to get even one sachet before Trapper noticed they were there. However, as time has gone on and more killers have gotten on Trapper’s bad side, he’s been more open to handing over the boldness offerings. The survivors know that if he offers them up personally, he wants them to act as shitty as possible to a specific killer (It’s usually aimed at Legion or Freddy)

Autohaven Wreckers: Toolboxes and add-ons galore Much like Trapper, Wraith didn’t really like his stuff stolen at first. Generators were hard enough to counter as it was, he didn’t need to give them a boost. For a long time, Wraith would stay cloaked amongst a decent pile of toolboxes and wait for the survivors to show up, then run them off. It was only when Jake showed up one time, with a burlap bag of bloodpoints, and offered it for a few items did Wraith finally begin to loosen up. Now, it’s a tradition to show new survivors Autohaven first so they can meet Wraith and learn that they can buy toolbox stuff from him.

Coldwind Farms: Primrose Blossoms (Altruism offerings) The fact that Hillbilly, the killer having endured the worst abuse of the killers, guards the empathy offering is a sick, cruel irony from the Entity itself. Hillbilly doesn’t notice the flowers very often, but when he does it’s usually because a survivor is in the process of taking them. Hillbilly is Wraith’s feelings about stealing x1000. There is no convincing him. The only way to get the offerings from the killer is to take them when he’s in a trial. The survivors have tried the bloodpoint trick with Hillbilly too, but he’s never gone for the offer. 

Crotus Prenn Asylum: Shrouds Each shroud offering has its own distinct color that doesn’t blend with the gray land of the burnt asylum or decrepit chapel at all. They take some searching to find, but always manage to be in places that none of the survivors expect. One such shroud, Vigo’s, was in a burning barrel, completely unharmed. David can’t say the same for his hand since he was the one who retrieved it. Nurse doesn’t care if survivors show up to collect a few of the fabric pieces. She doesn’t believe it makes a difference in the long run. Clown would probably care if he wasn’t constantly passed out, drunk or otherwise, in between each trial.

Haddonfield: Crispleaf Amaranth (Survival offerings) Good luck getting one of these past Michael. Good luck living long enough to find one. Another bit of irony from the Entity, trying to survive long enough to get this offering is near impossible. In order to have a chance, the survivors need to bring 4+ of their teammates to distract Michael long enough to look. Michael’s not dumb though. The killer will usually find all the offerings first and defends them like a silent snake.

Léry’s Memorial Institute: Batteries That’s not a joke. The survivors haven’t been able to find anything other than batteries. In hindsight, it makes a bit of sense being how electricity-dependent the realm is. But, that doesn’t mean the survivors don’t hope for a medkit or anything else like they’d expect. Feng is really the only one that goes to get more of the flashlight addon. Not once has she come back with anything less than an armful of batteries.

Backwater Swamp: The Wards (Black/White/Sacrificial) Backwater was the first realm to have both survivors and killers actively trying to retrieve the offerings. There’s a catch though. Unlike other realms, where multiple of the add-on or offering appear at a time, only one of the three wards appear per Entity day. If it’s a black ward, the killers are actively fighting to get it before the survivors can. If the survivors get the black ward, they’ll just destroy it later. It’s vice versa when dealing with white wards. If it’s a sacrificial ward, one of two things happens: either both parties are too disappointed to even go for it, or it’s a complete bloodbath - neither side is safe if that’s the case.

Red Forest: Medkits and their add-ons Another bit of Entity’s humorous irony, medkits are surprisingly abundant on these maps. However, the Huntress and Plague both guard them like hawks. Huntress will actually plant medkits and alluring add-ons in high enough spots to make the survivors struggle reaching for them. It gives her ample time to ready a hatchet and practice throwing. Plague doesn’t like the styptic bottles, so those are the things that don’t usually leave her realm. Survivors can get away with a bandage here and there, but usually end up using it on the way back to the fire.

Springwood: Reagents No one really cares enough to go to Badham to retrieve reagents. No one wants to deal with Freddy; survivor and killer alike. The only memorable time that someone went of their own free will was when Julie and Susie wanted to. They actually approached the survivor camp asking for help because they didn’t want to go up against the burnt pedo being just the two of them. Some agreements were shared and David, Jeff, and Quentin ended up helping the girls. Julie and Susie got enough clear reagents to last them for months and the boys got a few good punches in; Quentin actually managing to break the killer’s jaw in the process.

Gideon Meat Plant: Blueprints The Game used to offer nothing, so nobody went. It was only when the blueprint offerings were introduced, and Pig seemed to be offering them quite a bit, did the survivors begin to get suspicious. Felix was the one to recognize the offering first when he was searching with a group. Much like the wards, only one blueprint appears per Entity day; it’s not as much of a fight for them, however.

Yamaoka Estate: The Oaks (Putrid/Rotten/Moldy/Petrified) This offering is prevalent and has to be snapped off the surrounding trees. Killers frequent this realm more than the survivors do. There was one time when Adam and Yui both went to retrieve some Petrified Oak for the group and found not 3, not 4, but 5 killers on Family Residence, not including the Spirit and Oni. Those two have never run faster in their life and refuse to this day to go back without at least a full group.

Ormond: ??? There’s no specific item that can be found on Ormond. Spin a wheel of anything that can be used in a trial and the survivors will probably find it. Steve and Nancy both came back with event items that they hadn’t been around in ages. Everyone believes that the Legion just steals from other realms and hoards their prize around their resort, but no one’s been able to prove it. 

Hawkins National Laboratory: Mori’s The first Killer offering exclusive realm, and again, like the wards and blueprints, only one spawns per Entity day. The Demogorgon doesn’t care about the offerings usually; it’s always having too much fun chasing after the killers who trespass. In order to find the offerings, the killers have to search around the dead bodies strewn across the realm. Once, multiple days had gone by and there were no mori’s to be found. Some thought Demo had taken them, but the Nurse had a different idea and checked the room only she could access. She left that realm with eight Ebony Memento Mori’s that day and checks back frequently.

Grave of Glenvale: Alcohol The first realm to not offer a trial item. Each Entity day, Deathslinger’s bar refills every bottle present. If there are no bottles, the Entity will take one day to replace the bottles and then the next to refill them. Deathslinger doesn’t like company, so, get a drink depends on his mood. If you show up he’ll either hand you a bottle and make you leave, or shoot you dead on the spot. Zarina is the only one allowed to stay regardless of his mood. Zarina has shown up to trials plastered many many times. 

Silent Hill: Other realm offerings Hung on many of the walls or tucked away on the shelves, both survivors and killers can find any other realm’s offerings. Mary’s Letter has never been found but the rest of the realm's offerings are free game. Some can be found in the same spot each time. Ormond’s damaged photo is usually hung on a second story bulletin board while Glenvale’s dusty noose is usually found hanging from a tree in the courtyard. Pyramid Head patrols his realm constantly, so if the survivors are wanting a realm offering that doesn’t have a specific spot, they better be quick and lucky. Ace is convinced he’d be the best one for the job, but Cheryl’s proven herself to be the one to grab the most and leave unharmed. 

[ayellowbirds]

Pre-senting, here upon this very first night of November, elsewise known as National Novel-Writing Month, the sequel to Cypora’s Guide to Becoming an Evil Queen! A tall tale centered upon the not-so sinister destiny of an autistic trans girl in a world of high fantasy based upon both Jewish and North American folklore and legends.

Here we are! The first 1817 or so words, a bit earlier than planned, because I reached a stopping point and need to rest after a nervous day at work. The text is below the Read More, but first, a reminder: NaNoWriMo is a big undertaking, and it will mean a lot to have some support and encouragement. How can you do that?

Keep your eye on the Cypora’s Guide to Cementing Your Rule as an Evil Queen tag on my blog. Story updates and thoughts will be posted there.

Look back at the tag for the original story, here; the posts from last year of the original, un-edited draft of the story can be found about halfway down this page.

Tell me about your favorite characters from the story—or draw them, if you like! You can find visual references in the art tag, or look at the stuff that inspires me, visually, in the inspiration tag.

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Got any questions about Cypora’s Guide, the characters, or the setting? Feel free to send them to me!

And now;

30th day of the month of Vernary, the year 5647 CC

Alícha de Matos sat in a corner, staring into a cup of coffee that was long past even being counted as lukewarm, much less hot. She’d arrived in the small café in the “city” of Berry Hill when it opened in the morning, as she had done every morning since the end of the sabbath. Three days of making the gesture of ordering an overpriced mug, three days of waiting and watching.

By now, she had memorized every small detail of the café, from the mismatched chairs and tables, to the aging broadsheets and posters nailed to the walls from the days of the revolution, before she was born. Caricatures of the Icarian Empire and its leadership as monsters more grotesque than any she’d faced in the depths of a dungeon, and bold illustrations of revolutionary leaders in now faded colors. On the wall beside her, the red mane of Velvela had turned a sort of orangey-pink, like lox left out a little too long.

She was starting to think that the word she’d put out had been a waste of time, and the advertisements a waste of money. In a larger community, she’d have just hit up the local adventuring guilds, but Berry Hill was too small, too rural to even have a guild office run out of someone’s house or in the back of a shop.

Someone less familiar with adventurers—say, a wealthy citizen seeking to hire a swordswoman, spellcaster, or shootist to slay some monsters—might have assumed that a tavern, saloon, or bar would be the place to go to find them. And sure, that would be the case if you wanted to hire someone who had already won treasure and was happy to spend it on overpriced brandy.

But an actual adventurer looking for others like herself? Well, Alícha knew that the place to start was anywhere that served coffee or tea. She looked out at the crowd over a mug that she had only bothered to sip from when the café owner started to look sour at her, and tried to judge the current small crowd.

The first type coffeehouses attracted were ordinary people of the land looking for a kosher indulgence. Second were foreigners, visitors from outside the former Icarian Empire who were curious about what life was like now that the Icosans were either dead or gone. These showed up because of the third type: former revolutionaries, and those of like mind. The common sentiment was that the revolution started over a hot cup of dark roast, though Alícha was sure that café owners were the ones who popularized the idea. Whatever the truth of it, late nights of planning and strategic meetings over brown-stained maps had created a lifelong coffee habit, and the revolutionary generation and their children had proven the best thing for the business.

That generation was key. When the revolution—really, a great many small revolutions, rebellions, and insurgencies that happened to roughly coincide—achieved lasting victory, many of those at the forefront turned to seeking out treasures hidden away in the labyrinths and fortresses created by the Dungeon System. The most noble* claimed they were trying to liberate centuries of stolen wealth and property.

This café did not attract the most noble adventurers, but she hoped it would at least attract a few. Alícha looked out over those seated, standing at the counter, or loitering near the entrance, where a golem in a sandwich-board sign hawked extra-cheap cups of the weakest brew the café offered, a mix of leftovers and chicory root.

A western-looking woman in a lilac headscarf near the counter, haggling over exchange rates; most likely a foreigner passing through. Berry Hill might be a speck of dirt on the map, but it was a speck on the side of a major road, and travelers from afar often passed through. Other probable foreigners included the trio in fine black garb heavily decorated with colorful beadwork and copper, probably far-easterners† of the type who had brought coffee to the people of the land in the first place.

Seated further back was a woman who had been just as much a regular at the café as Alícha herself; all delicate features and the softness of a pampered lifestyle, with long blonde hair that curled beneath a red scarf in the way that suggested deliberate alteration rather than natural growth. Her green eyes met Alícha’s, and her expression hardened. A snob who thought herself trendy and important.

Among the lingerers out front, there was a more promising figure, who had something of the look of a lumberjack of the northwoods. Well, a lumberjack if clothed by someone who had forgotten when to stop knitting or weaving. Red plaid not as a shirt, but a robe that reached near enough to the ground that its ends were frayed and mud-stained, paired with a tuque that extended so far that Alícha thought it might have been originally intended as a thigh-length stocking for a giantess, rather than a hat.

The promising part was none of this, but the too-long sword strapped to the figure’s back by way of a bandolier that also lashed a very large bag to their hip. When they moved, Alícha saw what looked at that distance like an unusually large assortment of membership badges from adventuring unions and guilds. As the person turned to enter the café proper and come into better view, this was confirmed. The flannel of their shirt-robe parted to reveal faded blue trousers reinforced with old-fashioned plates of armor, and boots that were either gray-brown or else far too encrusted with mud to make their real color visible.

They made their way through the cafe, casting wide smiles that showed too few teeth, with several of those that remained well-chipped. Alícha could not guess at their gender from their appearance, though she supposed that it wasn’t proper to make that kind of assumption in the first place. She’d dealt with that enough in her childhood.

The likely adventurer reached into a pocket, and pulled out a crumpled sheet of paper, and shook it out, then looked around the café.

“Hey, uh,” they said in far louder a voice than was needed for the small coffeehouse interior or the volume of conversation therein, taking a sip of coffee from a cup at an abandoned table before continuing, “anyone know anything about this here ad looking for adventurers and such as?”

They were met with brief glances and a few expressions of contempt, but Alícha raised a hand and waved to herself.

The cracked grin returned, and the newcomer sat down heavily on the chair opposite Alícha without turning it around the proper way. A good thing, too, with the size of the sword on their back, which Alícha hoped they could actually use. This close, they did look to have the muscles for it, but many a new adventurer grabbed the biggest and scariest weapon they could without consideration for how to actually fight with it.

“Oh hey, you’re scrappy looking and suchlike,” they said as they scooted the chair closer. “Name’s Broke, on account of my pop had a bad sense of taste for a feller named Moneymaker. I’m here about the advertisement, likewise I said.”

Alícha boggled for a moment. “Your name,” she began, and hesitated, “is ‘Broke Moneymaker’?”

“Sure as a skunk is striped,” Broke replied, passing Alícha a card‡. “Excepting those as has spots.”

The card was not a typical business-card; in fact, it was a playing-card with text hand-written over the back in surprisingly precise and bold ink. Broke tapped a deck of other cards back into place in a box, while Alícha took a closer look.

BROKE A. MONEYMAKER

Ze/Zir

PRO-FESSIONAL ADVENTURER, BODYGUARD,

BOOK-KEEPER,

SWORD-SWINGER AND INK-SLINGER

“SUMS AND CRITTERS A SPECIALTY”

“I’m afraid I don’t have a card, myself,” Alícha said, offering a handshake. “My name is Alícha de Matos, of Martıkoy.”

She recalled the format of the card, and added, “she, and her.”

“Proper excellent and good to meet you, Miss de Matos,” Broke replied, returning the offered hand. Ze had some sort of curious tube or hose wrapped around zir wrist, with the rest continuing further up zir sleeve. “Say, wait a minute or less. Ain’t you the Alícha such as some people been calling ‘the Breaker’, on account of what you done to dungeons?”

“Is that what they’ve been calling me?” Alícha sighed, and fussed with her eyepatch. “I suppose I’ve been doing things on my own for too long.”

“That’d be whatfor you made this bill of advertisement?” Broke guessed, waggling the paper. It was not the only one Alícha had paid to have posted, or else she might have been uncomfortable with Broke so casually keeping it to zirself.

“Yes, it is,” Alícha said, patting the paper down flat on the table and stopping the crinkling noise it made. “I’ve realized there are reasons I should involve myself in the adventuring community more, and either join, or if necessary, form a party.”

“Well that sounds reasonable,” Broke replied, the grin returning. Alícha wondered just how much sugar the strange-speaking androgyne ate on a regular basis. “One presumes such terms and conditions for party formation as are de-fault across most unions and guilds?”

She shrugged. “As I said, I’ve not been very involved in the community. We can go over what I had in mind, and I would welcome suggestions.”

Alícha and Broke started to discuss the fine contractual details of forming an adventuring party, including division of resources and starting finances as well as shares of any treasure, even pausing so that Broke could order zirself a proper cup of coffee on Alícha’s coin. In spite of the oddities of zir speech, Alícha quickly realized that ze had a mind for details that gave truth to zir card. Considering that canniness, Alícha made a point to keep quiet on exactly the reasons she wanted to get a closer look at the adventuring community. Her recent defeat seemed spurred by a hatred of adventurers not only by monsters, but humans as well. If there was reason for ordinary people to mistrust adventurers, it might be that there was corruption in the community. Getting more involved might be risky, but she needed to find out for herself.

She was focused enough on this and the discussion, that she didn’t notice the close attention the pampered blonde paid her or Broke.

* Or at least, those who most ardently insisted on their nobility. 

† Said “far-easterners” referred to themselves as being from the west, which was generally confusing for everyone involved, requiring the matter to be ignored during discussions. This led to a lot of circuitous avoidance of giving directions, especially difficult in planning trade routes.

‡ The Knave of Swords, in this case. 

[pridge]

A bit behind...but catching up!

So, I’ve been rather remiss with my writing recently for a ton of different reasons!! But mainly just didn’t get round to it….so here are a ton of reviews all in one go. Hopefully all spoiler free. 

The Lego Batman Movie

So, I came into this off the back of loving the Lego Movie, and also as a huge comic book fan. Already, perhaps it is clear what direction this movie is going. I certainly didn’t hate the movie, I actually quite enjoyed it. But….and there was always a but coming….far too many of the good jokes were in the trailers, the characters just didn’t click for me the same way they did in the Lego Movie and whilst it was an enjoyable couple of hours I still felt disappointed.

I think this was more to do with my expectations, which were high. I just didn’t think this lived up to the warmth of character I got from the original Lego Movie, which had real heart. The Lego Batman Movie was trying to be too smart for its own good, and think it forgot to have any meaningful warmth. What warmth of character there was got quickly destroyed by some obvious humour.

This film had me smiling at the jokes, but rarely got close to making me actually laugh.

 Dunkirk

Well. What can I say about this film that hasn’t been said already. For me this was a masterpiece.

The score and soundtrack matched perfectly with the pacing of the film, and the drama unfolding on the screen in front of me. The lack of dialogue added to the weight of the tension that built up throughout the film. Whilst I was, I admit, a bit confused by the three different acts going at different timescales, they all came together beautifully towards the end.

There were no outstanding performances from the cast, as they were not needed. They just had to go with the flow of the film. The action was mesmerizing. And often, the lack of action was even more engrossing.

Having watched it in 4DX….yes 4DX….the seats move, you get sprayed with water, there is wind in your hair….this is the first film that actually benefitted from it! Although have to admit I did feel rather sea sick at stages.

The cinematography is basic in a way, but the film benefits from that. They keep it simple so you can focus on the action and the drama that keeps exploding, literally, all around you.

If I did scoring I would give this film 10/10….I came away exhausted, emotional and enthralled by what I had just seen. There are a couple of moments that jarred with me a little, but that is only compared to the brilliance of the rest of the film. In most normal films this would have been just part of it.

Oh, and as a lover of history, the slight historical inaccuracies bug me….but I just have to bury that pedantic side of me quite deep.

Dr Strange

This couldn’t be more different to Dunkirk. The latest character to come out of the Marvel machine ready for the big climax of the current phase of the cinematic universe. I have to admit as well that the Dr Strange character is one of my favourite comic book characters. Benedict Cumberbatch for me was perfectly cast for the arrogant surgeon who ends up as earth’s Sorcerer Supreme. So if any of that put your teeth on edge….frankly I am not sure you are going to enjoy this film.

It is even more full of comic book nonsense (which I love) than the other Marvel films. A lot of it makes little or no sense, as you are taken through a special effects led tale, full of action and random made up hocus pocus.

I enjoyed it well enough. Although I felt some of it was a bit one dimensional. Once you’ve stepped over the line of sanity into total weirdness, why stop and then try and make any of it make sense!!

A distinctly average addition, sadly, to the current universe. But was great to see Dr Strange finally hit the big screen.

 Guardians of the Galaxy 2

How do you follow the surprise hit of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. The original Guardian’s film was a surprise hit, and brought a ton of new fans into the comic book world. The delightful mix of characters that make up the dysfunctional Guardian’s superhero team, where you are often not even sure what their superpowers are!

The film is full again of the nod and a wink humour, as well as some more childish humour.

Dave Bautista is great again playing one of the roles he was made to play – the basic but heartfelt – Drax.

Vin Diesel reprises his role as Groot, this time regrowing from a baby.

Chris Pratt also plays the long suffering leader of the group trying to keep them together in a manner reminiscent of a sitcom.

This film kicks off with a typically entertaining and musically supported entrance that sets a high bar for the movie. Which sadly it cannot quite live up to. There are some moments where it has some moments that border on genuinely moving, but they don’t quite fit with the overall tone of the movie.

It is an amusing, and at times very funny, movie. But like the soundtrack, the movie does not live up to the promise of the first one. Like many others, I came away having really enjoyed it, but I couldn’t point to much now that was outstanding about it.

Moonlight

So the Oscar winner that nearly wasn’t thanks to some drunk PwC staff….we’ve all been there right….night out….few drinks…make a bit of a scene…..nearly ruin the Oscars and break a ton of hearts…..ok….so just me. Alright then.

This movie was a great movie. It was made to win Oscars and awards. How could it not. It is beautifully shot. Deals with some genuinely extremely important issues in a tender and emotional manner. The cast act their hearts out in it. The 3 acts that make up the film chart some heart-wrenching moments and work well despite the distance in time between each of them as we follow the main protagonist.

I found it boring though. I didn’t want to. I wanted to be drawn in and love the film from start to finish. I just wasn’t. Maybe it was whatever mood I may have been in at the time. But it felt like a movie made for critics. Not a movie made to be watched and loved. I guess that is fine. It is just a shame that such a critically acclaimed film had me playing Clash Royal during in on my phone, and not pausing to get water from the fridge!!

You should still give it a try. It may work better for you. Just didn’t work for me.

 Hell or High Water

Having seen Moonlight I decided to watch one of its Oscar competitors. This modern day retelling of a western, set in West Texas, was much more my thing. There, I said it off the bat.

It had the mix of anti-hero and hero – where the bad guys are clearly bad, but you also can’t help but root for them and want things to work out. The hero is….well….a bit obnoxious (played brilliantly by Jeff Bridges). This is essentially a bank heist western, with the sheriff chasing down the robbers across the desolate west Texan landscape. This ochre wasteland full of distant ranches, and populated by a rough and tumble background cast that seems so believable to an outside like me. They could be awful stereotypes for all I know!! But they work for this film. The dilapidated towns the story progresses through are the perfect backdrop to win your sympathy for the two main protagonists trying to make good, but in a bad and illegal way, before their time runs out.

This is a bit of a road trip movie, tinged with violence and a lot of non-PC discussion. It feels authentic and tragic. There are elements of a Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid vibe at times. You can’t quite decide who you are rooting for, and this adds to the tension in what is a relatively short film, or at least feels it. As the pace throughout is great.

I really enjoyed this film. But I am a bit of a sucker for a good western….and whilst not part of the traditional genre, it takes a look at the characters you’d see in one through a modern day lens full of diners rather than saloons, cars rather than horses, and high powered rifles rather than pistols.

A sadly overlooked film by many. Full of surprising emotion and left me astounded I’d not heard more about this film.

Spiderman – Homecoming

He’s back. The web-slinger is back for this 3rd reboot!! Probably the most recognisable Marvel comic book character is finally working with Marvel again, and after the sneak peak in Civil War, now gets his own movie. Sony still own him, but they have decided not to butcher him quite so much and get some people who know what they are doing involved.

This movie has been talked about a lot, at least in the social media and media I tend to read….but I think this is fair to say is the most thought through of the Spidey movies so far. No more origin stories with poor old Uncle Ben getting shot, and “with great power comes great responsibility” – we get it alright!! When I get superpowers, I have to do good things. Ok Uncle Ben’s spirit I promise!!

Instead we get something subtly but significantly different. We get a movie that focuses much more on Peter Parker as a teenage boy struggling as a geek at high school, struggling with his new found powers, struggling to work out where he fits in. So basically a normal teenager, except the middle one!! I mean teenagers think they have new powers….like drinking cider at the park and wearing too much aftershave…but that doesn’t allow them to lift cars or do back-flips or walk on the ceiling.

By fitting it into the Marvel Cinematic Universe as well they manage to also fast-track the origin story of The Vulture, a little known Spiderman villain in the comics (little known outside of well….us geeks).

Tom Holland is excellent at Peter Parker/Spiderman (if that is a spoiler for you….then I’m sorry but everyone knows that!!), who hits the mark as a teenager. I’ve never been to an American High School, so I can only base this on my imagination and all the many films that are based in them. But this one rings true. He wants to fit in at high school. He wants to do more with the Avengers. He is busy fighting low level crime in New York at night. All a lot for a teenage boy. And I found myself really feeling for him.

Michael Keaton is excellent as the villain of the piece. He has an emotional resonance that is set-up very early on. His motivations for what he does are actually very understandable to most of us. It may be illegal, but he is sticking it to “the man” and doing right by his family. He is also a well balanced power vs Spiderman – no giant pillars of light in the sky here or alien invasions!! So it seems well balanced and a bit fresh. More in common with some of the Marvel and DC villains on Netflix and other streaming, than the main Marvel Universe. Plus, Michael Keaton can’t half act.

Robert Downey Jnr reprises his role as Iron Man yet again. As some sort of mentor for Peter Parker. This is the one part of the movie that bugged the hell out of me. Yes Tony Stark is meant to be a huge egotistical playboy….but here his instructions and advice really don’t work for me. He’s literally the worst mentor. Better they’d given him Loki that this occasionally disengaged failed father figure. Don’t get me wrong, they play it light with Iron Man to give Spiderman space to be the core of the film, and there are a few amusing lines. It just didn’t ring true throughout.

Overall though the balance between High School angst movie, bit of crime solving, a load of well done action, and your usual superhero stuff was hugely enjoyable. There were also a number of twists that I didn’t expect, and the supporting cast were great throughout and would like to see more of them.

Welcome back Spidey!!

 Logan

Is this the last time we’ll see the very buff Hugh Jackman as Wolverine? It does seem like the last time we’ll see Patrick Stewart as Professor X…..so how did they do in their swansong?

Well firstly saw this in a nice little cinema, and also dragged my girlfriend along – and so was slightly nervous about her reaction to it.

I think it is fair to say that this was somewhat better than most other X-men related films. Maybe I just like dystopian future type films? This one perhaps isn’t so much dystopian as just all a bit of a mess. Logan, aka Wolverine, is in retirement and seemingly hiding. Just not clear from what. But he appears to have had enough of the world, and is now working as a limo driver whilst also strangely living over the border in Mexico…

This is another film that has touches of the old fashioned western about it, with the scenery of bleak deserts and run down townships, with a fair share of violence.

The interplay between Wolverine and Professor X is actually quite touching. But the outstanding performance sits with the young Dafne Keen as Laura. A young mutant who has been given powers very similar to Wolverine. He flipping between violence and frustration, and the way she brings such an adult performance, reflects brilliantly how you’d expect someone who’d been through what she’s been through to actually be.

At times the film is a bit predictable, and the X rating has enabled them to really let loose with Wolverine’s violence. The ending has genuine emotion, or did for me. Not a great film, but better than I expected!

As for what my girlfriend thought….she enjoyed it as well. But think it may be her choice next time! But that’s only fair.

[robinsarm]

Ahhhh those headcanons were so great and sad!!! I really love the way you interpret and write about Caleb, if you're still up for it can I request 7 10 and 14???

Of course! I love doing these! (A bit of Zarina x Slinger as well towards the end. Just as a warning, it does get a bit mature but nothing graphic)

7.) Food / Cooking Headcanon

Growing up impoverished, Caleb can and will demolish any meal he is given. He'd been told repeatedly by his parents never to ask for seconds, simply because they didn’t have anymore to offer, and he kind of held that throughout his life. So, upon hitting the open landscape of the Midwest after leaving prison and earning his place as the head of 24 other men, Caleb never asked for a second or third helping of anything - he just took it.

Even though Caleb loves food, cooking is not one of Caleb's specialties. Burnt is the flavor of the night with any meal he cooks. Don’t even ask how he manages to char stews, he just does. Most, if not all, of his gang take cooking duties from each other just so Caleb won’t think he needs to. Caleb doesn’t mind either. He’s got more of a critic mindset then he does a chef mindset. 

10.) Sleep Headcanon

You ever have that one relative who does a lot of driving, either for work or during vacations, and when they find the first chair outside of a car they pass out, hard and fast? That’s Caleb. 

Sleep is a rare occurrence because he and his gang are always on high alert. However, when he does get a moment of peace, it’s: Sit down, adjust the busted knee, lean back and give it two minutes before he’s out. Caleb can be out like a switch but rarely ever lets himself sleep outside of nighttime. Sleeping in a chair is relaxing. Sleeping at night surrounded by his gang, that’s the deep sleep his body needs. 

14.) Romance Headcanon

This man is no stranger to sexual relationships. You hit any number of saloons in a month, you’re going to encounter a few ladies of the night offering their services while you enjoy your drink. While Caleb may have indulged himself here and there, those were just one offs. When it comes to comital relationships, Caleb is a moron. The first, and basically only, relationship Caleb could ever say he’s had is with the survivor he’d come in with. 

Zarina, on the other hand, is no stranger to relationships. She’s had plenty, but Slinger is by far her strangest. Neither expected to see the other as a possible option for a partner, but it was Zarina who managed to bring it together. She’d done all that research into Hellshire Pen. when she was still on Earth - it only took one close look at the engravings on the side of Slinger’s rifle for Zarina to put two and two together. It’s not everyday you see ‘Death to Bayshore’ inscribed twice - once on the wall of a decrepit cell and once on the side of a man’s weapon. Safe to say, she knew it was him and when she confronted him about it, Slinger’s initial reaction was anger. But, after some explaining, Slinger realized Zarina was on his side; an outsider, not one from his gang, thought his actions were justified. He’d never met someone who meant that and felt that she was somewhat trustworthy. 

From then on, their relationship only grew. From enemies to somewhat less enemies to acquaintances. It took a while but Slinger eventually got used to seeing Zarina and humoring her questions. There’d come days where he’d actually want her presence and if he didn’t get, he’d get upset and drink or shoot things. 

When they eventually got so comfortable with one another that ‘friends with benefits’ was a title worth considering, Zarina had a lot to teach Slinger about actually giving a shit about your partner. She learned quick that he was all horn-dog, all the time. Sure, getting tossed up onto the Saloon’s counter so he could kiss her exposed skin was nice, but Slinger was clueless about anything that wasn’t physical. Teaching him that, ‘sometimes I’d rather just be around you then with you,’ or that, ‘one simple peck on the cheek doesn’t mean I’m down to go upstairs,’ was like pulling teeth. But, Zarina was in it for the long haul and she wasn’t going to stop visiting him just because he wanted sex 24/7. 

With a lot of help from Zarina, Caleb got good at two main things. First, he got good at asking for things. Before he simply demanded or just started doing/taking what he wanted. Now, he’ll ask maybe half the time, which is a great improvement in Zarina’s eyes. Getting Slinger to communicate all of his feelings was a pipe dream - Zarina would take what she could get. 

Second, he’s dropped most of the sensual part of his physicality. Kisses can just be kisses instead of invitations for more, and hugs are just that, hugs. Zarina appreciates his efforts at putting work into their relationship and rewards him quite frequently when she can tell he needs it ;)