#I read that on the 25th they put on lights in the whole city center but i don't usually go in that area so. I haven't seen them yet

[magpieddd]

THE CITY FINALLY PUT CHRISTMAS LIGHTS ON THE TREES OF THE MAIN SQUARE LET'S FUCKING GO i was waiting for this moment

[cestlefantome]

POTO Italy review

Ok, that’s gonna be a very long post. My synthesis capacity is clearly lacking but I really wanted to put down to paper all the details possible from the Italian production before my memories faded. If you don’t want spoilers, better stop reading this now.

 First of all, let me tell you that I absolutely love the Brilliant Original and that I’ve never seen a non-replica production before (except for the 25th anniversary, which I consider a non-replica as it is missing key elements from the original). I was very skeptical of the Italian production after seeing the bootlegs and photos posted on TikTok and also listening to the audio of the first show sent by a friend of mine who was there for the first show. I spent the first week of the run moaning about all the changes and how cheap the production looked, so my expectations were very low. I really thought I was going to hate it. Even Ramin didn’t impress me in the bootleg audio, and if you know me, you will know how much I love his Phantom. That was the state of mind I was in before seeing the first show on July 11.

I am an experienced traveler but arriving in Trieste was a strenuous adventure even for me. It took me 3 flights (the longest one was 11 hours long) and a train, a 30-hour journey in total (and 32 hours to get back home). I stayed with a friend from London in an Airbnb on the same street as the theatre, a three-minute walk. We were really lucky in that regard. The whole city was celebrating Phantom, it was a great happening to them, with many store windows with Phantom-inspired decorations.

The Il Rossetti (Teatro Stabile del Friuli Venezia Giulia) was built in 1878 and heavily restored 3 times, the last one in 1999. It sits 1,531 people and it is stunning with a beautiful ceiling mimicking the sky that can light up as stars. It has an opera house atmosphere which I think is very appropriate for staging Phantom. The original theatre chandelier looks tiny though. We were surprised to find out that there were no rows 1 and 2, so we were closer to the stage than we thought. That was indeed a very pleasant surprise.  I saw the show 8 times, from July 11 (the first show of the second week) to 16 (the last show), including both matinees. I sat twice in the first row (in reality numbered as row 3), one of them on the right side and one on the left side of the stalls. Sat 4 times at the second row (numbered as row 4), all of them on the left side of stalls, and twice on the third row (numbered as row 5), one of them on the right side of stalls. The stalls are divided into left and right with a central corridor. I will say that for this specific production, and because of the revolving stage, the seats on the left can have a restricted view in at least two crucial scenes, depending on where you are seated (most specifically as you get the farthest from the center, but not so bad if you are seated near the central corridor).

As you enter the auditorium, the whole stage is blocked by a huge mirror wall written "Phantom".

At the beginning, they had a recording of Ramin saying “Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to MY theatre. Consider this your first and only warning. Recording or taking pictures during MY show is strictly prohibited. Should these commands be ignored, a disaster beyond your imagination will OCCUR (a low sinister laughter). Enjoy the show.”

When the auditorium goes dark for the show, there’s a flash and a very loud sound of shattering glass, as the mirror wall is lifted to reveal the auction scene. The auction is set at the Opéra Populaire dilapidated and abandoned auditorium. There’s a very cool backdrop of the destroyed boxes and only a partial ceiling, revealing the sky and the Eiffel Tower in the background, with birds singing. The covered chandelier is in the back, near the auctioneer who is standing on the ground and not higher as in the original production. The chairs are arranged just like in the real auditorium, with two rows of chairs on each side with a central corridor. The people attending the auction have their backs to the audience, so in a way, we feel as if we are part of them as well. Old Raoul doesn’t have a wheelchair, he is seated in a normal chair like everyone else. He still has a nurse by his side. I’m pretty sure old Raoul wasn’t played by Bradley Jaden, but by the same actor who played Monsieur Lefevre (Jeremy Rose), wearing a beard. I think that was a nice touch because it looked way more realistic to have an older actor instead of a younger one with not very good makeup.

Fun fact, in lot 664, the wooden pistol and three human skulls from the 1831 production of “Robert Le Diable” by Meyerbeer was replaced by only one human skull. The Monkey music box is very similar to the one from the 2004 movie, wearing a green vest, a red waistband, and a red Fez hat. When Lot 666 is to be revealed, the auctioneer walks to the side and turns an old electricity knife switch that is part of the “backstage” wall of the revolving stage (lateral side of one of the boxes). The chandelier is revealed and the whole theatre goes dark as it is then illuminated in tiers, according to the overture playing (I love this part, it always makes me cry). In the few seconds in darkness, the chairs are removed from the stage to prepare for the next scene, in the past. As the chandelier rises, we can see actors and ballerinas coming into and going from the stage in slow motion. It was a very clever way to represent the restoration of the Opera Populaire to its full glory. During this scene, the revolving stage rotates, and we have a first glimpse of Joseph Buquet (Matt Bond) going up a side spiral staircase with a noose in his hand. Madame Giry crosses the stage looking at him. On the side, Christine and Meg appear talking, also in slow motion.

In this production, the revolving stage acts as a stage within the real stage. From one side it shows as the front of the stage, with the footlights and a prompter box. The back of it is the backstage view, with old black brick wall, a spiral staircase on one side, a hidden door, and the knife switch on the other end. On each of the sides there are three tier theatre boxes and behind each of these boxes there is part of a wall with a window and a curtain for the Manager’s office and on the opposite side, it is Christine’s dressing room set. This revolving set also has a beautiful, decorated ceiling where the chandelier hangs. A very clever set in my opinion.

The stage then stops facing the audience, the Hannibal backdrops falls in place as Meg and Christine leave and Carlotta enters the stage to sing. Carlotta was played by Italian Opera soprano Anna Corvino, and she is fantastic and a very extra and funny La Carlotta. I loved her voice (even though she was trying to sound bad) and how dramatic she was. She was also very nice at stage door.

The stage during Hannibal looks very crowded, because everything happens within the revolving stage limits (because they have to be behind the footlights). The backdrops, costumes, and choreography are all different from the original, but it didn’t bother me, and they didn’t look cheap at all, just different from Maria Björnson’s. There’s no elephant, instead, they have an open sedan chair carried by two people. There are 6 slave girls (counting with Christine) plus the slave master, Christine is on stage dancing from the beginning of the scene, and at one time, she loses her balance and falls on stage after which Madame Giry calls her out “Christine Daae, concentrate girl”. I had the distinct impression that, except for the slave master, none of the girls had ballet training, especially not the actress playing Meg (Zoe Nochi). She had a horrible posture, certainly not one for a trained classical dancer. If it was an acting choice, it was a weird one.

Monsieur Lefevre comes with Messieurs Firmin (Ian Mowat) and Andre (Earl Carpenter). Monsieur Reyer is hidden in the prompter box, we never get to see him. Piangi was played by Italian tenor Gian Luca Pasolini and he has an incredible voice but was a bit stiff on stage. Maybe he was supposed to be like that, I don’t know. It’s not a bad thing, but he doesn’t stand out much, except when he is singing. When he steps inside the sedan chair, the two guys carrying it have a really hard time suspending it until its floor breaks due to Piangi’s weight. It was funny and made up for the missing elephant at the end of Hannibal. Monsieur Lefevre seems overly joyful when he announces he is retiring.

The part in which La Carlotta sings “Think of Me” to Monsieur Andre is also very funny. She’s over dramatic and as he approaches her, she actually spits on his face when singing “Spare a THOUGHT for me” and Andre has to clean it with his hand. Earl’s face at that moment was hilarious, he was born to play Andre. Then the backdrops fall, and Meg comes forward to sing “He’s there, the Phantom of the Opera” and when Firmin replies “Good heavens! Will you show a little courtesy? Mademoiselle, please!”, she actually challenges him with a sarcastic smile on her face, until Madame Giry pulls her back. I will say I didn’t like Meg in this production. Her voice was very harsh and annoying, and I didn’t like her attitude in general, with the exception of one scene.

When Andre asks if there is an understudy for La Carlotta and Monsieur Reyer replies “There is no understudy Monsieur, the production is new”, Meg literally pushes Christine to the front saying “Christine Daae could sing it, sir”. Christine almost loses her balance again. That was a choice because it happened in every single show. Christine then starts singing very shyly and when she tries to leave the stage, Meg comes forward, holds both her hands, and encourages her to keep singing until she is confident enough to sing with her full voice. I really liked that added moment between the two friends. A curiosity, there was no scarf for Elissa, so indeed Christine was a bit more restricted in her (lack of) choreography and sang more or less standing, facing the audience, not much different from the 2004 movie. While Raoul sings his part, the stage rotates 360° so everyone can see him in the box with Andre and Firmin (no Madame Firmin) as well as a view of Christine as seen from “backstage” and that is when Christine moves the most on stage, she does a quick choreography similar to the one she does at the back of the stage in the original production at this very moment.

I have to say that before seeing the show, I told many of my (poor) friends (who had to deal with my moaning for over a week) that Amelia was, in my opinion, the weakest link in the cast, as she had no previous experience and I didn’t like any of the videos of her singing posted previously (not the ones with Ramin in NY and not the ones on her own YT channel). Well, I learned that we should keep our harsh opinions to ourselves after we see the show in person. We can’t judge someone’s talent by a video filmed in a living room, a crappy bootleg, and even worse, by other’s opinions.  I personally loved Amelia Milo’s Christine. She has a beautiful, strong voice, is very sweet and both her face and voice convey a lot of emotion. Her voice also blends beautifully with both Ramin’s and Bradley’s. Both men have very powerful voices, and none held back but she just kept up with both, her voice was never drowned by theirs. Bradley Jaden is a very attractive Raoul (he has long hair and wore it in a low ponytail, except for the final Lair) and also has a big, strong voice. He was an overall enjoyable Raoul, at least in my opinion (I’m still team Erik all the way), although at times he seemed very annoyed but in the end, I think it worked and I’ll explain later why.

The whole scene with the ballerinas surrounding Christine, and she holding the big flower bouquets and bowing with her back to the real audience while the curtain closes doesn’t happen in this production. Monsieur Reyer doesn’t appear talking to her either while the ballerinas rehearse in the background. When the Phantom sings “Bravi, Bravi, Bravissimi”, she is already in her dressing room changing to the dressing gown, which looks similar to the one from the original production, except for the sleeves. Ramin’s “Christine” sounded a bit harsh for me. In the 25th anniversary, he sings her name pianissimo, like a caress, so that was something that I didn’t quite understand, because he was supposed to be happy after her successful debut, but it sounded (to me) like he angry.

As I said before, Christine’s dressing room is located behind the boxes on one side of the revolving stage. It consists of a dressing table, a chair, and a huge, tall mirror that sits above her dressing table. When she sits down to change her ballet shoes, there is already a single red rose on her dressing table, from the Phantom. Christine stands up when Meg comes in and she gently makes Meg sit while she sings “Angel of Music”. For most of the song, Meg keeps touching everything on her dressing table and not paying much attention and is sitting in a very unladylike way, not like I would expect a ballerina to sit. Madame Giry comes in, tells Meg to leave, and gives Raoul’s note to Christine.

The scene where Raoul walks to Christine’s dressing room in the company of Messieurs Andre and Firmin (and his wife) was cut, but depending on where you were seated, you could see Andre, Firmin, and Raoul talking in the very back during “Angel of Music”.  Raoul then comes to her dressing room (no rose or champagne bottle) and when she recognizes her childhood sweetheart and hugs him, the two sconces positioned on each side of the mirror flicker. Both Christine and Raoul notice it, Raoul looks particularly intrigued, although he doesn’t miss a beat on his part. That was another small change that I enjoyed. We know the Phantom is not happy. The dressing room scene is one of the two scenes I mentioned that have a partially restricted view for those sitting on the left side of the audience. When the revolving stage rotates after “Think of Me”, it stops at an angle, facing the right side of the audience. For the most part, the view is ok. But as Raoul leaves and the Phantom appears in the mirror, his image can’t be seen by at least half of the theater audience. That was a very unfortunate choice by the production, I can’t believe no one sat in different parts of the auditorium to make sure everyone could see this crucial scene. We can only see Erik when he steps out of the mirror and extends his hand to help Christine climb the chair and the dressing table and enter the mirror with him. 

I was lucky to be able to see the full scene at least half of the time but was still annoyed by the times I couldn’t see him. Ramin looks amazing inside the mirror. By the way, when he appears in the mirror, Christine knees down and extends her arms as in prayer for her Angel. I absolutely loved this scene, which made it even worse that I couldn’t properly see it every night, even though I had excellent seats very close to the stage. The title song staging is very cool. After entering the mirror, the revolving stage rotates again and stops with the backstage facing the audience. They appear crossing the dark stage from right to left and then a hidden door at the backstage wall opens and they come out from it. The Phantom then comes forward to the edge of the orchestra pit to get a lamp. He reduces the intensity of the lamp light; turns back to get Christine and they go down a stair in the pit. They then appear at the top of the spiral staircase on the right side of the stage (the same we saw Buquet earlier) and descend until they reach the boat (a gondola) and cross the stage, reaching his lair. 

The boat stays on the left side of the stage, while a massive organ comes up from the floor in front of the conductor and then slides a little to the middle of the stage. At the same time, a 4-poster bed and the monkey music box appear on the right side. A backdrop of the cellars appears in the back. There are no candelabra or candles in the Phantom’s lair, except for some in the organ. While they are in the boat, there is some dry ice effect and a bluish light, to mimic the lake. The background reminded me of an artwork from Giovanni Battista Piranesi (Carceri d’invenzione) that is mentioned in one of my Palais Garnier books.  It is not as spectacular as the original production, but it is still magical, and impressive. Ramin’s Phantom is particularly shy in this production. Except for holding hands (which many times you can notice his shaking), he hardly touches Christine. For “Music of the Night”, Christine is standing on the left side of the stage, near the gondola, where she sings her high E. Erik then plays his organ dramatically (“I have brought you to the seat of sweet music's throne (…)”. He is standing and looks at her.  A bench then slides on the stage, and he sits down, facing the audience and with his back to her. He has music sheets on his hand. He sings part of Music of the Night while seated and hardly acknowledges her, but you can see he is very nervous. He stands up only when he sings “turn your thoughts away from cold, unfeeling light and listen to the music of the night”. He slowly approaches her from behind, but when he sings “darkness of the music of the night”, she runs to the opposite side, but then she stops near the bed when he sings “Let your mind start a journey through a strange new world!”

When he approaches her again, he takes a candle from the organ and immediately after he sings “Only then, can you belong to me”, he blows the candle in her direction. You can see some kind of powder and then she is in some kind of a trance. He comes behind her, but he doesn’t really touch her, she is the one to rest again him while he sings “Floating, falling, sweet intoxication! Touch me, trust me savor each sensation!” and she touches his hand and his face very gently and he slightly leans into her hand until he sings “Let the dream begin, let your darker side give in to the power of the music that I write the power of the music of the …”. She faints, he holds her, closes his eyes for a second, looks at her and sings “night”. He then gently places her on the bed and covers her with his cloak and walks around the bed while singing “You alone can make my song take flight, help me make the music of the night”.

I know some people have been pretty vocal about the candle part and him “drugging” Christine and taking away her “consent”. I respect those who felt uncomfortable with this scene, but honestly, I much prefer this to that creepy mirror bride with the likeness of Christine, which implies that maybe Erik does “things” with the mannequin. Even though he did put her in some kind of trance, the way I see it is that they were both overwhelmed and he was bidding his time, without not really knowing what to do and maybe trying to postpone the hard conversation ahead of them, having to explain why he lied about being an Angel. He never touches her inappropriately (before or after the candle), he never approaches her while she is sleeping, and the scene between the candle blow and her fainting takes about 40 seconds (yes, I tracked the time). I’m not saying it is right, but then we will have to discuss if it is right to bring her to his home in the first place, unchaperoned. Is it really much worse than drugging her with chloroform like in the book or hypnotizing her with his voice? Those were different times and men tended to think and treat women as their property. Right or wrong, at least the Phantom was a gentleman.     

After Music of the Night, the stage went dark for a few seconds. Erik took off his jacket and moved the bench closer to the organ (no Mandarin coat and hat). I didn’t mention it before, but he has pretty much the same outfit as in the original, except that his waistcoat is white silk with a chain clock (he also wears a red lining black cloak with a shoulder cape with no embellishments and no fedora hat). When the lights go back on, he is sitting on his pipe organ playing, his back to the audience. The music box then starts to play. Erik looks at the Monkey and does the same movement with his hands as if he was playing the cymbals too. A small detail but one that I loved it. He then is back to composing. Christine wakes up and begins singing, he looks at her and is back to composing for a few seconds, but when she sings “Whose is the face in the mask?”, he watches as she gets up from the bed and he stops composing. He then turns on the bench, facing the audience, but he sits at the very end of the bench and starts fiddling with his hands, with his head down, very shy, without really knowing what to do. She approaches him and sits on the bench very close to him, his hands are shaking, he closes his eyes, and she touches his face, and he leans into her hand, so trusty and vulnerable and that’s when she tears the mask from his face. He immediately screams and turns his back to the audience, leaning against the organ while cursing. She tries to escape to the boat, but he goes after her and yanks her from it, and she falls to the floor. When he sings “Curse you”, he sits on the bench, still covering his face with his hand and he actually chuckles and starts singing back again a bit more menacing while he approaches her again, she crawls to the opposite side and then he collapses on his knees and sings “this loathsome gargoyle, who burns in hell, but secretly yearns for heaven, secretly. secretly.”.

In this last part, he sings almost sobbing. The part “But, Christine. Fear can turn to love you'll learn to see, to find the man behind the monster, this repulsive carcass, who seems a beast, but secretly dreams of beauty, secretly. secretly” He sings with so much despair, except for the words monster, repulsive carcass, and beast, which he sings with anger. It’s heartbreaking. The whole time after the unmasking, Christine hardly breaks eye contact with him. Bonus points for her, as most Christine cowers in fear. After her initial shock during his cursing, she looks more regretful than afraid. He covers his head with both hands, bends down, and rocks like a small child while sobbing. She approaches him slowly and tries to touch him and he flinches and sobs a “No”, his voice bears so much fear at this moment, that it seems as if someone is trying to beat him. He then moves his body away from her, still rocking. This whole scene was devasting and the best I’ve ever seen so far. She then extends her arm to him, holding the mask, he looks at her still afraid but takes the mask and puts it on his face, breaths, recovers himself, stands up, and says “Come we must return those two fools who run my theatre will be missing you”, He seems resigned, not angry anymore. Thank God there was no creepy crawling, which is something about this scene in the original that I dislike.

The scene then shifts to the backstage of the opera, while the revolving stage rotates to show Buquet on the top of the spiral staircase with the noose in his hands, singing his part about the O.G. to the frightened ballerinas.  Madame Giry arrives and sends the ballerinas away while singing her part “Those who speak of what they know find, too late, that prudent silence is wise. Joseph Buquet, hold your tongue he will burn you with the heat of his eyes.”. At the same time, Buquet comes down the stairs. He comes really close to her, his face is inches away from hers and he actually threatens her with the lasso. She doesn’t even flinch. He starts laughing like a maniac as he leaves the stage.

The stage rotates again to show the manager’s office. That part is about the same, except that the Managers seem to be a bit annoyed with Raoul, and Raoul looks particularly annoyed with La Carlotta, and he is even rude to her. While the conversation between the managers, Raoul, Carlotta, and Piangi is happening, those sitting in the right side can see that Meg is seated on the stage floor in the background, playing with Buquet’s lasso. I have no idea how she got it, but she even has it around her own neck until Madame Giry sees her and takes the lasso away. Meg then follows Madame Giry to the manager’s office where Madame informs everyone that Christine is back and shows them the new Phantom’s note. There are a few amusing moments involving the managers and La Carlotta. The trio is responsible for most of the funny scenes. They start singing Prima Donna in their office but then everyone moves to the stage (as the stage rotates again) to sing the last part “Light up the stage with that age-old rapport! Sing, Prima Donna, once more!”. We then listen to the Phantom threatening them “So, it is to be war between us! If these demands are not met, a disaster beyond your imagination will occur!”, while they sing “Once more!”.

For Il Muto, there is no bed, in fact, there’s no furniture at all on the stage. They have a backdrop very similar to the 2004 movie, with a fake balcony in the middle. Raoul is in Box 5 and Firmin and Andre are in the opposite box, drinking. They both seem to be a bit drunk. Meg is not on the stage. Besides the Countess and the Maid/Serafimo, there’s only the hairdresser, the Jeweler, and the Confidante. Don Attilio is much younger and is not a bass. He is also not so funny. When Don Attilio and the Countess both sing “Addio!” they both hold the note for ages. Don Attilio then leaves and hides in the fake balcony.  Christine rips off the maid's skirt to reveal herself as Serafimo. Everything is alright until we hear the Phantom’s voice say, “Did I not instruct that Box Five was to be kept empty?”. Meg then invades the stage out of nowhere, in her Degas-like ballerina outfit to sing: “He's here, the Phantom of the Opera”.  Everyone looks terrified. Madame Giry pulls Meg from the stage. 

Everything happens as in the original production. The Phantom says “A toad, madame? Perhaps it is you who are the toad” and Carlotta panics. She calls for her dresser that brings that throat spray, just like in the movie. On her way back, she takes away the maid’s skirt, so when they play the scene again, Serafimo has no skirt, like in the original. When Carlotta starts to croak and seems to be losing her voice, chaos breaks loose, Raoul jumps onto the stage, Carlotta leaves crying, Christine runs to Raoul and Firmin announces that the role will be played by Christine. At this, she looks at Raoul in panic and both leave the stage, while Andre goes to announce the ballet. He has a bottle of champagne and a flute glass on his hands and this scene is particularly funny. Earl Carpenter is indeed the perfect Andre. The ballerinas come to the stage, no Sylvan glade costumes, they are all wearing the regular Degas ballerina costumes. The scene happens more or less the same way, but it’s a different choreography, and twice the Phantom swings across the stage in a rope, laughing. The third time, the rope swings with Buquet hanging. The Phantom swinging across the stage wasn’t necessary but I enjoyed the way Buquet hangs, it was way more realistic than the dummy they have in the original production; I believe it is indeed the actor playing Buquet in that scene.

The scene then changes for the rooftop. They have a raised rooftop for the scene and Christine is already there in her dressing robe when Raoul finally climbs the stairs singing “Why have you brought us here?”  

The whole scene reminds one of the domes in the Palais Garnier, below it, you can see a structure that reminds the arched structure that supports the main dome above the auditorium and that houses the chandelier counterweights. There’s a backdrop of Paris, partially showing one of the Angel statues and you can also see Notre Dame in the background. The rooftop scene is very different from any version that I’ve seen so far. Raoul is terrified from the height and also because Christine is dangerously close to the edge. Christine is frantic, walking from one side to the other. The only time she seems a bit calmer is when she sings “But his voice filled my spirit with a strange, sweet sound. In that night there was music in my mind. And through music, my soul began to soar! And I heard as I'd never heard before. Yet in his eyes all the sadness of the world. Those pleading eyes, that both threaten and adore.” But then she hears his eerie “Christine” and is immediately frightened again. Raoul tries to pull her from the edge many times and she refuses his touch every single time. In fact, she hardly looks at him, It’s like she is going mad, and she looks suicidal. At one point, Raoul just sits on the edge of the rooftop with his legs out and very slowly moves closer and ends up calming her. It’s one of Raoul’s cutest moments in this production. Christine doesn’t look much at Raoul, she sings most of All I Ask of You looking at the horizon like she is singing to (or thinking of) someone else. Only at the very end, she looks at him and they kiss.

When they leave the rooftop by the same stairs, the spotlight illuminates where the Phantom is seated hidden in the shadows, just below where Raoul and Christine are (no big hat with black feathers). He looks devasted and furious at the same time. He comes to the edge of the Orchestra pit to sing “You will curse the day you did not do all that the Phantom asked of you!”. The chandelier then lights up behind him in the dome structure. He goes to the chandelier and lights it on fire, climbs on top of it, he has some kind of knife on his hand, and he seems to be cutting some of the cables that hold the chandelier. The chandelier then is pushed to the back and when he screams “Go”, it swings to the front of the stage with Ramin on it, while real fire lights up at the very edge of the stage near the Orchestra pit and the lights go down. This was one of my favorite scenes in the musical. Even though I love the chandelier falling over the audience, this scene was spectacular and very impressive as well.

The second act begins with two people fully covered and hooded in Venetian carnival cloaks (a nice touch considering it’s an Italian production). They are standing in front of the mirror screen (the same that was covering the stage at the beginning of Act 1)) and light spots illuminate each of them briefly while they move closer to each other until they meet and show themselves as Firmin and Andre. Andre is wearing his usual tailcoat under the cloak (no skeleton costume), but Firmin reveals a pink bow gown. They leave the stage laughing and happy, the mirror screen opens and reveals the empty auditorium with the chandelier lowered and Meg seated on the floor below it, wearing a monkey music box costume and pretending to be playing the cymbals. Although cool, I didn’t understand why she would be wearing this specific costume. As for the lower chandelier, it is obvious that the Masquerade ball is the inauguration of the new chandelier, as it is raised during the celebrations. There is no great staircase in this production, but in the book, the Masquerade happens in the Grand Foyer and in real life, it usually happened in the auditorium (they would remove all the seats and have wood planks covering the floor to protect the carpets). The ensemble enters the stage one by one, all of them wearing Venetian cloaks and masks in different colors. They are all dancing with mannequins dressed similarly and as they dance, they look like real people, because they move their heads to face the audience, just like the actors. The ones not wearing Venetian cloaks for Masquerade are Andre who took his down at the beginning), Firmin, who is in the pink ball gown, Madame Giry in her usual black costume and a mask, Meg in her Monkey outfit, Raoul in a tailcoat and a silver mask (which he takes off almost immediately) and Christine, who is wearing a beautiful off the shoulder cream satin gown, that reminds me a lot of Chirstine’s wedding dress in the 2004 movie.

At some point, part of the actors on the stage leave and stand in different parts of the auditorium with the audience, Firmin and Andre stand near the first row almost in the middle, there are others that stand near the exits of the auditorium and some in the boxes around the theatre. Christine and Raoul stand just in the middle of the stage and gold and silver confetti falls from the ceiling over the stage and the first few rows of the theatre while they sing Masquerade. It’s a visually very beautiful scene. Then comes Red Death. And I’ll say I was prepared to hate this scene because Maria Björnson’s extravagant, over-the-top Red Death is one of my favorite costumes in the show. In this version, the Phantom wears just a red velvet cape with a hood covering his face. On his hands, the Don Juan score. He looks very much like the figure of a reaper, like the original artwork of Edgar Allan Poe’s Red Death. Raoul and Christine immediately leave the stage. As the Phantom sings “Here I bring the finished score, Don Juan Triumphant!”, Andre approaches him to get the score, but Raoul comes running and prevents him from getting closer. People surround Red Death, he has his back to the audience at this moment and they rip off his cloak but there’s no one underneath it, the Phantom is gone.

Then, a spotlight illuminates Christine and someone all covered in black standing in the auditorium near the first row, inches from the audience and the Phantom takes off his hood and sings “Your chains are still mine; you belong to me!”. I was lucky to be seated front row once, just in front of where they stood. In fact, I noticed that as they both approach their positions, Raoul looks at them and tells them to stop and wait. It gave me the impression that Raoul left Christine in the care of this person, without knowing it was the Phantom, and he is as surprised as everyone else when he sees it’s in fact the Phantom. I already knew it would happen, because it was my last show, but it was incredible to see Ramin as the Phantom standing so close that I could actually touch him if I tried. Since Ramin wasn’t on the stage during this scene, his part was pre-recorded, with the exception of the very last line he sings to Christine.

Immediately after this scene, the auditorium is empty, except for Raoul sitting on the floor, looking bewildered. When he sees Madame Giry and calls her, she says “Monsieur, don't ask me. I know no more than anyone else”, he asks very calmly “That’s not true. You've seen something, haven't you?”. She then replies “I don't know what I've seen. Please don't ask me, Monsieur”. That’s when he stands up and shouts at her face “Madame, for all our sakes”. She then explains what she knows about the man locked in the cage of so many years ago. At this point, they have a background illuminated as the silhouette of a traveling fair, which reminds me of Love Never Dies Phantasma. I like these small details connecting both stories.

The second manager’s scene shows that at this point everyone is on edge, Firmin and Andre are annoyed with the whole O.G. thing, as well as Carlotta’s antics and also at Raoul's permanent presence at the Opera house barking orders. Christine is behind Raoul with the Don Juan score in her hands. She has an aqua dress with small roses embroidered. It was my least favorite of her costumes, to be honest. It wasn’t ugly and I believe it was period-appropriate, it just didn’t stand out to me. Carlotta kept challenging Christine the whole time (while Raoul just stood there like an idiot) and at some point, Christine couldn’t stand anymore and came face to face with Carlotta while singing “How dare you! You evil woman! How dare you!”. After the Phantom’s new note brought by Madame Giry, Christine seems very distressed, especially after Raoul suggests having her as bait to catch the Phantom minutes after assuring her that the managers couldn’t force her to sing. He even has the audacity to put both his hands on her shoulder while he sings “but remember we hold the ace”. This disturbed me way more than the candle thing with the Phantom during MOTN. 

While all of them are speaking at the same time, Christine stands up and is even more distressed with the whole situation, and finally collapses on her knees while pleading “Raoul, I'm frightened, don't make me do this. Raoul, it scares me, don't put me through this ordeal by fire. he'll take me, I know. we'll be parted forever. he won't let me go”. While she sings this, everyone in the room is looking at her, except for Raoul, he has his back to her, his hands resting on the manager’s table and he looks really annoyed and frustrated. Only when she starts singing “What I once used to dream I now dread. If he finds me, it won't ever end” he finally faces her but just stares like everyone else.  When she cries “and he'll always be there, singing songs in my head. he'll always be there, singing songs in my head.” Carlotta looks at Raoul and says “She is mad”. Only then does he finally kneels down near her and sings “You said yourself he was nothing but a man. Yet if he lives, he will haunt us till we're dead”. She then stands up and moves away from Raoul, and she sounds angry while singing Twisted every Way. Raoul comes closer to her, puts his hands on her shoulders to have her face him (again), and sings gently but very forcibly at the same time “Christine, Christine, don't think that I don't care, but every hope and every prayer rests on you now.”. He then holds her by the waist and leads her against her will to the auditorium (while the stage rotates again) and has her seated with the score. She just looks at him resigned.  She clearly doesn’t want to do it. Raoul just stands there, looking at her to make sure she won’t run away, and then shouts to no one in particular “So, it is to be war between us! But this time, clever friend, the disaster will be yours” and leaves the stage as Don Juan rehearsal starts.

The Don Juan rehearsal happens more or less the same way as the original, but instead of the piano just playing alone, it also spins on the stage. Monsieur Reyer was supposedly coordinating the rehearsal from behind the piano and at one moment, we see his arm raised, but when the piano spins, there’s nobody there. Chaos breaks loose as everyone starts to fight. The rehearsal scene is the other scene which is a bit restricted to people seated on the left side because the stage stops at an angle facing the right side of the audience too.

 As the violins start playing, Christine stands up and goes to the back while the stage rotates again. As she emerges on the front of the stage (that finally stops rotating), she has her cloak and is holding a single red rose. She walks towards the edge of the stage and in the background, we see the silhouette of the people fighting in slow motion during rehearsal, throwing chairs and things like that, a total mess. Then the graveyard backdrop falls, and Christine is alone on the stage as snow starts to fall and we hear the bells. There is no Daae mausoleum, which never really made sense to me, as they weren´t rich. She sings a good part of the song kneeling down in front of the conductor, as if in front of a simple grave or headstone. She even has the rose resting on the ground as she sings. When she finishes (her Wishing is fantastic) and is ready to leave, the Phantom with raven wings appears illuminated by a single spot behind the backdrop while singing Wandering Child. Christine seems totally mesmerized by the vision of him as an Angel, she sings back to him on her knees with her arms raised, as in prayer, and starts moving towards him when he sings “yet your soul obeys”. As he starts singing “I am your Angel of Music”, he rises from the ground.

The whole time, the Phantom is very aware of Raoul’s presence and becomes more agitated and angrier by the minute. When Raoul manages to shake Christine out of her trance, it culminates with the Phantom fully rising to the sky, maybe 10 meters or more from the ground, and instead of the pitiable fireballs from the original production, he commands lighting and very loud thunder effects. At the very end, he shouts “So be it! Now let it be war upon you both!” and flies down as to attack Christine and Raoul while a thunder sound explodes loudly, and the stage goes dark. That was another favorite scene of mine. Say what you want about it, I’ve always had this canon of the Phantom as a black-winged Angel, so to see my idea turned into reality on the stage by my favorite Phantom was truly incredible.

We are then back to the stage of the Opera house, Raoul, Andre, Firmin and the chief of the Gendarmerie are on the stage and the Gendarme with the gun is in a box, with the audience, instead of the orchestra pit.  The Chief of the Gendarmerie shouts, “Are the doors secure?” and someone replies back “secure” only once, there’s no sound of slamming doors from all around the auditorium, which makes way more sense, because soon after, the Phantom sings “Let the audience in”, which would be impossible with all the doors closed.

 As they leave the stage, the revolving stage shows the silhouette of the actors in Don Juan from the backstage until it fully rotates and stops facing the audience. The backdrop falls and it is very similar to the one in the original production. Piangi’s Don Juan outfit is somewhat similar too. Passarino’s outfit is different from the stage musical though. The first time I saw an image of this scene, I absolutely hated it, I’m so used to the black hooded cloak that I couldn’t understand the yellowish-brown cloak and big hat. But it makes sense with Passarino’s outfit, that it’s about the same color. So, when Don Juan changes his red cloak and hat with Passarino, it makes sense to have the Phantom dressed as so. The more I watched the show, the less it bothered me. There is really no right or wrong, this scene doesn’t even exist in the book, only in ALW’s version. At least it makes more sense than the outfit he wears in the 2004 movie when he doesn’t even try to disguise himself.

Christine’s outfit reminds me of Emmy’s outfit in the movie, and she even has the basket. When the Phantom comes out singing, it is the voice of Piangi that we hear. It is supposed to sound like the Phantom mimicking Piangi’s voice to perfection. This had me very confused when I first listened to the audio from the first show my friend sent me. I knew it didn’t sound a bit like Ramin, but at the same time, it was supposed to be him singing and my brain was so confused. Only when he starts singing “Past the point of no return -no backward glances (…)” it shifts to Ramin’s voice. I believe that’s the exact moment when Christine realizes it’s him and not Piangi. She even looks at Raoul at this point.

This scene is very interesting because Erik acts as if very much in control while he is singing, but as soon as Christine is singing, he looks very nervous and even terrified. He sits awkwardly and doesn´t know what to do with his hands, they are shaking, and Christine acts very provocatively and touches him a lot. By the time she sings “In my mind, I've already imagined our bodies entwining defenseless and silent”, she has her leg almost on top of him, and after “And now I am here with you: no second thoughts, I've decided, decided”, she is already seated across the bench facing him, while he seems even more nervous, seated facing the audience.  By the “Past the point of no return -no going back now (…)” she forces him to look at her by holding both his hands, and when she sings “When will the flames, at last, consume us?” they both stand up, she leans her back on him, they are both still holding hands. He slowly sits down again, bringing her to sit on his leg while they both sing “Past the point of no return the final threshold, the bridge is crossed, so stand and watch it burn. We've passed the point of no return”.

The whole scene is very sexy. At this point, she actually tries to kiss him, but he pushes her away and moves to the very end of the bench, opposite her. He then takes off the hat revealing himself on stage. Everyone gasps, including Christine, but I believe she is shocked because she wasn’t expecting him to show himself like that. The stage is invaded by the police, the managers, Madame Giry, and Meg. Raoul immediately jumps from box 5 to the stage and tries to reach the Phantom, but Christine prevents everyone from getting near him. He starts singing All I Ask of You reprise, very softly, looking at the floor and fiddling with his hands. At that moment, I think he believed it was his last chance to win her willingly, he is very vulnerable, and there are lots of people pointing guns at him, but he keeps seated, the way he sings is truly heartbreaking, it is a pleading, his last chance to be happy. He then stands up and puts the ring on her finger and she betrays him, pulling his mask and wig. His scream is painful, and he just catches her and flees the stage with her under his cloak.  Piangi is not dead (which I appreciate because his death is pointless). We see Piangi in the background, on his feet, being helped by two men while Carlotta cries out his name.

Firmin is hysterical shouting “We are ruined Andre, ruined”. He is holding a lantern. Andre faces him and holds the lantern too. He shakes his head in an affirmative way, silently telling Firmin that there is only one thing they can do. They both release the lantern, initiating a fire that ultimately destroys the theatre. I believe they did it seeking for some kind of insurance. I prefer this to the idea of the Phantom being responsible for all the destruction.

Madame Giry calls Raoul and leads him to the same staircase near the orchestra pit from where we see Erik and Christine descending in the journey to the lair during the title song. She doesn’t go with him. Meg is not with them either.   

The scene changes to the Phantom and Christine in the gondola, on their way to his lair, and he is totally unhinged at this point. His humor shifts from totally devasted (and almost crying) to very angry and violent. Christine is still wearing Aminta’s outfit. Erik hands her a veil and a wedding dress, but she never gets to change. He doesn’t sing “That fate, which condemns me to wallow in blood has also denied me the joys of the flesh. This face, the infection which poisons our love” angrily as in the 25th anniversary, he sings very softy, almost as if he is about to cry. The same happens when he sings “This face, which earned a mother's fear and loathing. A mask, my first unfeeling scrap of clothing”, it is all very shy and sad until the “scrap of clothing” part, when he touches his face in disgust and sings these last few worlds more harshly.

Christine sings “This haunted face holds no horror for me now” and he looks at her almost hopeful, but then she says “It's in your soul that the true distortion lies.” And he shakes his head in disbelief. But then he senses Raoul’s presence, puts his hand over Christine’s mouth, and says “Wait! I think, my dear, we have a guest!”.

Raoul is crawling from the lake and the Phantom pulls him inside by his hair, throws him on the ground, towers over him with his feet on each side, and slowly bends over Raoul while singing “And now my wish comes true, you have truly made my night!”. Raoul seems as terrified as Christine and manages to crawl away from him, hiding near the bed. The Phantom then grabs Christine (sometimes the Phantom would grab her by the neck, but not always. Not my favorite part) and Raoul starts to plead for him to free her until Erik says “be my guest” and releases her. He always looks at his hand, as if he regrets his action. Christine runs to Raoul and they both embrace each other until Erik comes and puts the lasso around his head. He then climbs on the bench and pulls Raoul about 1 meter from the ground. This scene is very impressive, and I believe that’s the reason why Raoul is shirtless because we can’t see any harness and still, he is literally hanging by his neck. Of course, there’s a trick here and if you are close enough, depending on where you are sitting, you can understand how they are able to do this scene, but it is still way more impressive than the original and makes the whole situation much more dramatic, as we see Raoul struggling to breath for a good time.

On the last Sunday matinee, the mechanism to raise Raoul didn’t work, so his feet were on the ground the whole scene. It actually took a bit for Ramin to realize it wouldn’t work (he tried more than once). To compensate, he was way more aggressive and gave Raoul a really hard time. I have to say that from the moment Erik and Christine arrived at the lair, he looked already defeated. He knew he lost his last chance during Don Juan. We could see on Ramin’s face and body language that he knew he ruined everything. It was very clear, especially at one point while he sat on the side of the gondola and looked at Christine trying to free Raoul, but even before that. He had nothing else to lose at this point, he was literally fighting for any paltry crumbs. That’s his state of mind when he sings “You've passed the point of no return”

Christine furiously replies “Angel of Music, you deceived me. I gave my mind blindly.” At that, he approaches her like a predator, lifts her chin with one finger, and says very slowly and menacingly “You try my patience. Make your choice!”. Christine is shaking and crying while this happens. He then moves away from her. She looks at him, and then at Raoul struggling and kisses the Phantom after singing her lines. During the second kiss, she touches his deformity. He doesn’t touch her during the first kiss, during the second one, he puts his hand over hers. In some of the shows, he was the one to break the kiss. In others, it was she who ended it, but it was always him that moved away from her, totally overwhelmed, and crying, touching his lips. At this moment, he looks at Raoul, hanging limp and Christine follows his gaze. When she realizes that Raoul looks lifeless, she tries to swallow a sob. They both look at each other. She doesn’t move, she just keeps still staring at the Phantom with tears in her eyes. He looks from her to Raoul, shakes his head, he is still touching his lips as he approaches Raoul, looks at her again, pulls him down, and yanks the lasso from his neck while singing “Take her, forget me, forget all of this. Leave me alone, forget all you've seen”. Raoul has hardly any strength left to move. The Phantom brings the gondola to near where they are, and Christine practically drags Raoul into it and he collapses in the boat.

As they leave, the Phantom is the one who collapses on his knees, crying with the veil on his hands. The Monkey starts to play. Erik takes the music box from the bench at the foot of the bed and puts it on the ground next to him and starts singing Masquerade. In some of the shows, Ramin’s voice broke (on purpose) when he sang “Hide your face so the world will never find you”. He then senses Christine, but he never looks back at her, I think he knows it is pointless, but he sings “Christine, I love you” anyway. She is crying too, so she leaves the ring on the bench near the bed (where the monkey was) and leaves. He looks at the monkey very sadly and only then, looks back and reaches for the ring. He puts the ring on his finger, holds the veil again, and rocks like a child, crying, while she and Raoul sing on their way out. He then stands up and sings “You alone can make my song take flight. It's over now, the music of the night”.

That’s when he hears the mob coming. He sits on the bed and half covers himself while crying and rocking. Madame Giry arrives at his lair and sees him. They both look at each other and his face is incredibly sad. They both reach for each other with their hands from afar. The mob comes closer. She silently tells him to hide. He lies down and covers himself with the bed sheet. The mob arrives and Madame Giry points in the opposite direction, to give him time. When they finally notice something moving under the sheets, an armed Gendarme points the gun to the bed and pulls the sheet, but they find only his mask. The Phantom is gone. Meg takes the mask and gives it to Madame Giry and the spotlight illuminates it on her hand instead of Meg’s. I really enjoyed this change, because it clearly shows that they were indeed friends, and it makes more sense if you think that in Love Never Dies she admits she helped him escape.  

And that was it. I love this production very much, all the changes were very clever, and even the ones some people found tacky, I enjoyed seeing them live. The show as a whole works very well and it is still visually beautiful. I have to say I never had a clear view of the Phantom’s deformity, despite having sat in the first row twice. Even the one white eye, I only noticed after checking my curtain call photos. Ramin said he was practically blind from that eye due to the contact lens. Considering that most people didn’t notice it, I wish they would just disregard this detail. 

[kivablog3]

Sylvia’s Cooking

I just got my first Stonewall 50 email. At the bottom of the email in the small print it says Heritage of Pride™, which means it’s still run by the same guys as always, except under more scrutiny now, after getting the march on Channel 7 and with the whole world coming next year to physically or spiritually fit into that little pie-wedge space on Christopher Street where the Stonewall Inn bar is located. This World Pride thing isn’t just an advertising slogan they came up with at HoP, it’s a Thing, like Stonewall 50’s a Thing. My therapist, who’s very active in the community and probably gets lots of interesting emails from various Things, told me it happens at a different city’s Pride each year.

And next year, of course, they’re coming to New York, because it’ll be the 50th Anniversary of the night Sylvia Rivera and her friend Marsha P. Johnson (who I never met, and who may have thrown the first punch, there are scholarly debates on this point, but I am told that Sylvia firmly insisted that she was the first one who punched a cop, it’s like the debate over Lexington and Concord, they’re not sure exactly where the Revolution started but we know that they started it) threw out the first punches to start the legendary three-day riot, rather than just get in the police van like always, right in front of the Stonewall Inn. The night the drag queens finally began to fight back. It made a sound heard ‘round the world, and it’s still reverberating, and if anything really changed the course of history in that wretched year of 1969, that surely did.

It reached me in the front seat of our car when I was with my mom one Saturday, when for once my sister wasn’t with us. I used to like tagging along on her Saturday visits to her office, wherever that was. As we were about to drive away from the small airfield where she worked as a secretary to go to some thing where co-workers were already playing bad country music, I asked her what a homosexual was. It was a sunny day and there was no one else around for a mile in any direction. It was the Summer of 1969, of course, and I was eleven years old.

I can only suppose this is just after I’d heard of Stonewall in the news. It was the first time I’d ever brought up sex as a topic of discussion with my mother, and I did this with some trepidation. I sort of knew this wasn’t her favorite topic of conversation generally, sex, much less transgressive sex. The kind hippies had. Maybe some of them were homosexual, who knew? So I persisted in my line of inquiry. What I didn’t know was that she’d been waiting for some version of that question ever since she’d stopped dressing me in dresses, when I was two.

She put the transmission back in park, turned the engine off, sighed, and for once didn’t light a cigarette before we started what turned out to be a lengthy, meandering conversation, which wandered after a while into related and then tangential topics, and which ended with me correcting her on some minor misunderstandings as to how gonorrhea was transmitted, at which point things kind of ground to a halt and she started the car up.

The whole thing probably took an hour. She used to joke that she’d had the Talk with me, the generalized birds and bees talk, because we did touch on conventional sex and How Babies Are Made, but that I had ended up explaining some things to her, instead, which shouldn’t have surprised her. I did read a lot, after all. I probably already knew a couple of things about homosexuals, but I wanted an explanation of how they actually Did It, and as squirmy as that made me, I wheedled it out of her. I could’ve asked her more about how a male-female couple had sex, but that wasn’t what was on my mind. She wasn’t happy about it, and did her best to make it clear that it was all gross and disgusting. I think she made a face when she was explaining lesbians to me. I liked the sound of the word the first time I heard it, tbh: Lesbian. It sounded soft and fuzzy.

I remember wondering about the feasibility of anal sex, as she sketchily and hastily outlined it, which apparently was what men did together; but what women did together sounded really kind of fun and not nearly as difficult. She didn’t want to talk about that, though, and I do remember that it was around there that the discussion went off into the weeds, to things related and not. Eventually we ended up at syphilis and gonorrhea (aka “VD,” or venereal disease, where venereal=“vaginally transmitted,” rather than “of or having to do with the goddess or planet Venus” — clearly a term invented by men) and I explained some of the then-current science on transmission to her, i.e., you don’t catch it from dirty toilet seats in public restrooms. Not girls, not boys, it’s a myth, mom. They told us in science.

All that was fifty years ago, as of next June. The following June, in 1970, they had the first Christopher Street Liberation Day March, so 2020 is the fiftieth anniversary of the March. But next year is the Big One. It looks like this anniversary will be just as controlled and careful as the 25th anniversary in 1994 was huge and utterly chaotic and wonderfully random, with 200,000 marchers from around the world. We took over Central Park. We took over freakin’ Midtown. It rocked.

Well, not next time. No more of that anarcho-festive celebration stuff. Now you have to be part of a signed-up contingent to be part of the march, and those slots are limited. And no more hopping in-and-out from the sidewalk, apparently. They want everyone in a marching contingent to wear the same t-shirts, ffs. It has to be controlled, as well as going backwards (starting a few blocks north of Christopher, past the Stonewall the wrong way, and up Fifth Avenue, what the fuck?) I’m told some of the people in the Village are tired of the crowds and the noise. They can do what people do in Austin when SXSW comes along: leave town. Tiniest quantum violin playing.

Now that it’s a TV show, I guess it has to run on time and look good on camera. They’ll have a beautifully made-up drag queen doing commentary like last year, along with the usual probably-white cis-guy-&-cis-gal parade anchors. I don’t know where they find those. It’ll become another tradition soon, that trio as parade anchors, now that scientists have established that str8 people in statistically significant numbers will watch drag queens on television and thus advertising time can be sold for this event. It’ll be just like the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, or the Fourth of July, only with One of Us in the booth along with two of them.

“And you know, Mike, the rainbow flag has been a unifying symbol in the LGBT community since it was first designed in 1978, and did you know that originally it had eight stripes….” There will be carefully-timed performances in front of the Stonewall, and commercial breaks. Some of the stories people tell will break your heart, some will make it sing. Plus commercials, did I mention the commercials? You can record it and FF through them. I did. I stopped this year to watch Chelsea and Rusty talking about Sylvia, which is what makes me think of them all, along with the fact that Sylvia and Marsha deserve statues, and you get reminded of that every June. I’d love to have a statue of the two of them at the Stonewall National Monument, which technically is the little triangular pie-slice shaped park, the benches and the wrought-iron fencing, where you can sit next to the statues representing gay men and women from the 1980s. They should add Sylvia and Marsha.

The whole parade on TV represents some kind of weird queer communications breakthrough, I guess. And now that it’s on every year, I suppose it has to be faaaaaaabulouss! I guess we can record it and go, too. And watch. There were some forums recently at the Center, maybe just one, where people could come and complain about the corporatization of Pride, and the most-of-us not marching thing, and the reverse-route thing where it just kind of ends around 28th Street for no apparent reason, and ask for things they won’t get, but that part’s over and it’s time for Early Bird sign-up.

Whatever. Sylvia and Marsha are the mothers of us all, both trannies and everyone else that fits under this patched, unwieldy tent called “LGBTQ.” We argue, some of us incessantly, about which part of the tent is what, and whether this part is even really part of the same tent as that other part of the tent, but no one argues with the fact that Sylvia and Marsha put up the first tent poles. That may not be the most elegant metaphor, but I’m going with it. Never apologize for your art.

And it’s kind of okay, I think now, or at least I’m trying to convince myself it is, that I never realized “who” Sylvia was, even though at least two people said I should talk to her because I was “interested in politics.” Hm? Oh, ok. No one ever said why. Ffs.

But it felt sort of like I knew Sylvia, the way it feels like I know these professors and other people who my wife works with, after I hear her describe them a few times. She’s a union delegate as well as a math professor, so she knows a lot of people. By now I also know a lot about professors in general. And in the same way I realized after a while from talking to people around T-House, conversations in which she came up, often at vital junctures, that Sylvia was the Mom around the place: she made dinner, I knew that much, and she did a lot of other things to keep Transy* House, Chelsea and Rusty’s house, from burning down, falling over, and sinking during those raucous years around the end of the 20th century. She seemed quite nice when I was introduced across a crowded room downstairs, which actually happened twice I think. She smiled and said hi, I do remember that. She seemed nice.

That, in and of itself, was quite difficult for some people I was around back then — this was and still is New York, the Attitude Capital of the Western Hemisphere and, during Fashion Weeks, the Tribeca Film Festival, and the General Assembly, perhaps the world — but from my brief impression she seemed genuine, and older in a reassuring way when I was twenty years younger. She gave off these hippie-mama vibes, just by making dinner. In a house where a whole lot of chaos happened, and necessarily so given how many trans kids with no other home came through there — because Chelsea and Rusty never turned anyone away, not as far as I know — not to mention how much fun was had there on a regular basis, at least some of it destructive of property, she just looked to me, in a vortex of drama, like a pole of stability.

Maybe that’s shaped by how people talked about her. Everyone said how nice she was; but I wasn’t over there often enough to run into her when she was (a) there and (b) had a free moment, and didn’t know I should prioritize it anyway. And there were other people using up the oxygen in the room at any given time, including me. But it would have been awesome to truly know her.

I knew other people there, had my own reasons for being there. I lived with Kathleen and our two-year-old son in an apartment which was also on 16th Street, in Brooklyn, two blocks away. It was the Nineties, so it didn’t seem unusual to me that there was a house full of transfolx a short walk away, nor that my friend Jamie knew everyone there. Like, she knew everyone. She was the other pole of stability then, around the turn of the century. She doubtless knew Sylvia pretty well, and she probably told me enough to form an impression.

Now Chelsea and Rusty own a bookstore upstate, and T-House is long gone, replaced by the ineluctable tidal forces of gentrification, although there’s a queer history tour that stops at the site and tells a short version of The Story. I wish sometimes they could have a sort of T-House reunion, somewhere, somehow. I would very much like to find Jamie again, even if only online. And I do still wish I’d gotten to talk with Sylvia.

#HistoricalNearMisses

__________

Footnote: Everyone back then except Chelsea, more or less, called it that, but without the “s,” if you get what I mean. We don’t say it anymore, at least not when younger transfolx are around. People get really upset, and if it’s only been used to hurt you it’s a painful word, I get that. Yet it was our word then, and it didn’t hurt at all. It was a warm, friendly word. It was what we called each other, lovingly, and no one else had any reason to use it, and I miss it.

this article also appears at https://medium.com/@kivazo/sylvias-cooking-1b1b4f24e780

[thehikingviking]

Yushan (12,963 ft) & Dongshan (12,712 ft), Standing on top of Taiwan

My good friend Robin was getting married in Taiwan so like any normal person I started researching mountains in the area. I learned that Taiwan is a very mountainous country with an active hiking community, which was influenced by the Japanese during their occupation of the island prior to WWII. Taiwan even has their own 100 famous peaks list called the Baiyue. Without getting too far ahead of myself, I narrowed down my focus to the tallest peak on the island, Yushan, which translates to Jade Mountain. With that I had a mountaineering objective to further enhance my trip, so the last step was to find a way for work to pay for my flight. My customer at the time was Google and I was primarily selling RF components to the Pixel phone programs. A year prior they officially acquired several thousand of HTC’s engineers, and several of their phones were being developed out of New Taipei City. With that I had a rock solid reason to meet with their RF design team and visit their location to discuss several topics face to face. Managing the red tape was somewhat difficult, but luckily I have several Taiwanese friends who helped me with all the linguistic challenges. One unique requirement was I had to upload a photo of me atop a 3000 meter peak. This is something I’ve done many times, however it’s another thing to prove it. In the United States it is not common for a peak to have a sign on its summit with its name and elevation. I struggled with this hurdle for a while, but then I found a picture of me on top of Aino-dake in Japan, which met the prerequisite.

At first I wanted to do an overnight at Paiyun Lodge, and while I was successfully able to reserve a spot, my work itinerary changed and I was later unable to accommodate the previous date. There was no longer any overnight availability, however the peak did seem reasonable enough to day hike. Luckily the day hike permits were easy to obtain, so I scheduled to hike on October 25th, a day before the wedding. I reserved a night at Dongpu Lodge the night before and planned to leave in the early morning. The biggest challenge of the whole trip was transportation. I went through many mental exercises, but the safest option was to hire a personal driver from Chiayi. A one way trip cost 3000 NTD (100 USD)! However the bus option was confusing and unpredictable, and driving myself was out of the question. To save money, I planned to try the bus option on the way down. I felt I would find my way so long as I was able to reach a big city.

I ended up booking within a week of departure and my flight was somehow less than $500. I flew direct from SFO to TPE via United and upon arriving was shuttled to dinner by some friends who were in town for the wedding. I had my work meeting the next day, then the following afternoon took the HSR to the Chiayi Station. From here, I took a taxi to the town center where I stayed at the very nice Hotel Discover for a very reasonable rate. I got there with time to kill, so I spent the next few hours walking around town trying my best to avoid the thousands of mopeds. This city felt more like China than Taiwan. I ended up at some roof top bar where I chatted with some locals over drinks.

The next morning my driver 朱海良 picked me up at 8:30am. He didn’t speak any English but the arrangement was agreed upon a few days prior. The drive took almost 3 hours and he dropped me at Shangdongpu along the roadside. He pointed in the direction of a driveway and left me. I first decided to drop off my huge suitcase at the Dongpu Lodge. I struggled to roll my heavy suitcase down the steep road and when I reached the Lodge the lights were off and the door was closed. I poked my head inside and some guy came out yelling at me. I had no idea what he was saying but he was speaking in a very rude tone and making rude gestures implying for me to leave. I really wanted to kick this guy’s ass, but I was in a foreign country with no where else to stay. I called my local friend Ryan and told him to call the lodge and talk to the guy. Maybe there was a misunderstanding? It turns out this guy was just a dick and equally rude to Ryan. Now Ryan wanted to beat this guy’s ass. He was a perfect example of a poor and uneducated mountain townie. Official check in was in a couple hours so I decided to register at the wilderness office and the police station, which was some additional red tape I had to work through. I first walked to the Takata Visitor center a few minutes down the road. This ended up being the wrong place. Frustrated, I backtracked and climbed the steep hill towards the Tourist Information Center  排雲登山服務中心. This ended up being the right place, so I checked in using my friend Ryan as an over-phone translator. Afterwards I walked to the police station next door. They checked my passport and my required paperwork and sent me on my way. I ate lunch then hesitantly walked down to the Dongpu Lodge and checked in. This time there was a friendly old lady who welcomed me in. I finally was able to leave my suitcase and drop off my backpack. It was still early and I had a lot of time to kill, so I spent that afternoon FaceTiming Asaka, reading and talking to some of the English speaking hikers. I was surprised to learn that dinner was included with my stay, but I was still bitter with the place and refused their food. I had my own dinner which I brought so I ate outside by myself. I wanted this place to burn to the ground. There was some weird European who kept trying to talk to me in his very broken English, but I did my best to avoid him. Perhaps he felt a connection with me as I was the only other white guy there. The bathroom situation was a little confusing with squatty toilets, strange levers and water on the ground, so I chose to use the bathroom at the visitor center instead. On the way I spotted a baby serow.

The lodge, which is actually a hostel, started to fill up around dusk. I found a futon and started organizing my stuff. With all the people stirring and jet lag lingering, I knew I would get little sleep. I figured if I started off at 3AM this would give me enough time to make it to the summit and back down in time to catch the bus at 1pm. I put on my eye shade and tired to get some rest.

Jet lag had me awake just after midnight. Why wait for my alarm, I thought to myself. I silently grabbed my gear and headed to the Yushan Trailhead. It was about 1.8 miles from the DongPu Lodge, but it was on a paved road. I hiked under headlamp, stopping to verify my route with my GPS at the first fork in the road. I hiked downhill until I reached the official trailhead. 

From here I took off down the trail. There were some headlamps up ahead of me so I used them as motivation to see if I could catch them. The trail was sliced into the side of steep rocky slopes. There were some early switchbacks where I passed one group, and I caught up to the second group shortly after. I tried to be polite and give them room while passing but I stepped off the trail and went straight though a patch of bamboo which I thought was solid ground. I slammed my knee pretty hard on the rock and stumbled into a puddle until I regained my balance. This group had the one lady in it who could speak really good English that I chatted with at the lodge the night before; how embarrassing. I continued in darkness playing with my thoughts until I decided to take my first rest break a few miles into the hike. As I sipped water, I noticed some eye shine in the tree above me. It appeared to be some sort of lemur. In places where the trail couldn’t be cut into the rock, there were wooden platforms and chains to ease passage. After passing the two groups, I would see no one else until the Paiyun Lodge. 

I turned off my headlamp as light began to emerge. It took me 3 hours to reach the Paiyun Lodge. I smelt it before I saw it. I stopped here for a second break. There was one old man walking about the inside, but no one was up to check my permit. By this point I was 6.8 miles into the hike and only had one mile left, but the remaining mile would require 1,800 vertical feet of gain.

After the lodge, the thick vegetation began to dissipate. I followed a series of switchbacks underneath the southwestern flank of the mountain. 

The moon began to set as the sun began to rise.

I could now see a large group of people ahead of me. It appeared that all the people doing Yushan from Paiyun Lodge that morning started an hour before I got there. During the last few hundred feet, the trail had some exposure and chains were hammered into the rock walls. 

People started to come down, some of them commenting on my lack of clothing. It wasn’t very cold so all I had on was a t-shirt and shorts. You would think these other people were climbing Mt Everest.

Great effort was put forth to make sure this peak is as safe as possible. An entire section has a roof to protect hikers from rock fall danger.

The final section would have been class 3, however the chains made everything less technical. The hardest part was passing people and letting others get by on their descent.

I made it to the top in under 5 hours. To the west was Chiayi County.

To the north was North Peak.

To the east was Dong Shan, which translates to East Peak. Behind that was Xiuguluanshan.

To the southeast was Xinkangshan.

To the south was South Peak.

I found a place to sit down, but like most country high points, the summit was overcrowded. Someone pulled out his drone and that really annoyed me. I wanted to say something to the guy, but it wasn’t my country or culture. I had enough time and energy to do a bonus peak, so I decided upon the east peak since it was on the Baiyue list and if I were to come back for it, I would have to re-climb Yushan. If I were to climb North Peak or South Peak on a later trip, I could bypass the summit completely.  I followed the rocky ridgeline south for a short distance looking for the trail which was marked on a map I previously researched. I ended up finding a marked route which was a little rougher than I expected. It dropped steeply to the saddle between Yushan and Dongshan. The face of Dongshan looked intimidating and I wondered if I would be turned around.

As I got to the base of the cliff, I found a series of chains that were nailed into the rock. What would have been class 3 or possibly even class 4 was now rather nontechnical and quite fun. I was the only one venturing past the peak from the summit, so I relied on instincts and faith.

After several pitches I found myself on the summit of Dongshan. To the west was Yushan.

To the south was South Peak.

To the east was the Pacific Ocean covered with clouds.

To the northeast was Xiuguluanshan.

To the north was North Peak.

This summit was much better as I had it all to myself. I had a constant paranoia of missing the last bus, so I carefully scrambled my way back down.

I passed by a young couple at the base of the rock climb and they asked how it was. I told them that for me it wasn’t bad, but I am an experienced hiker. I watched their progress as I made my way back to the main peak and they seemed to have little trouble finding their way to the top.

The climb up from the saddle was very steep and I took it slowly.

Only a few people remained on the summit by the time of my return, so I was finally able to enjoy the tallest point on Taiwan.

Just for fun, I checked my PokemonGo app and found there was a gym on the summit. I decided to leave my American Pokemon in the gym.

I felt I could comfortably make it back to the bus stop in time. A few minutes after leaving the summit I ran into the nice English speaking lady. We chatted for a few minutes and she egged me on to go climb North Peak. I told her of my concerns for the bus, so I politely declined and continued down the mountain. I regret not asking her to give me a ride back to the city in exchange for accepting the challenge.

As I blissfully hiked down the switchbacks, a giant explosion made my heart jump into my throat. I was extremely startled and had no idea what it was at first. A few minutes later I reasoned that it was probably a firework. What a terrible fright it gave me.

I made it back to the Paiyun Lodge where again no one checked my permit. From here on out, I would be stuck behind slower hikers.

I patiently made my way down the trail, passing people whenever I had the opportunity. I was impressed by the strong, young Paiyun Lodge workers hand carrying large equipment and heavy supplies up to the lodge.

I was unaware of the mountain’s steepness when hiking in the morning darkness. A fall in some places could have serious consequences.

The fog started to roll in across the lower elevations of the peak. It was a nice opportunity to cool off.

I investigated the dangerous landscaping of the trail. By looking at the below image, you would expect to be able to step off trail. In reality, it was like a punji pit trap, and stepping on the vegetation would have you fall through empty air.

Not one person passed me on the way up or down. Everyone on the trail that day was either Chinese or Taiwanese, with the exception of two old Japanese hikers and the one weird old Euro who hadn’t even passed reached Paiyun Lodge by the time I passed him. I reached the trailhead 11.5 hours after departing from Dongpu Lodge.

Here I paid 10 NTD (3 USD) to take a shuttle back to the Dongpu area.

There were several bus stops and many buses, but I couldn’t find the correct one. It started drizzling and as time crept forward I became more and more nervous. To make a long story short, I missed the the last two buses I planned to take down.

Once my failure became evident, I started asking around until I found a lady who could speak English. She started asking around herself and eventually found a nice random guy who offered to take me to the Alishan bus station, which is a popular tourist destination. He didn’t speak English, but I had no other choice but to trust him. 15 minutes later he dropped me at Alishan where I was able to board a bus which took me to Chiayi City Center, just across the street from Hotel Discover. I felt very fortunate that everything worked out. I reserved one more night at Hotel Discover and went to night market. Here I had some boba and the famous turkey rice.

The next day, my friend Ryan picked me up at Hotel Discover and drove me to Taichung City which is where the wedding was held. I give Ryan all the credit in the world because without him I don’t think I would have been able to summit.

Additional highlights from the trip include getting boba milk tea in Taichung City, exploring Taipei with old colleagues and playing pick up basketball against the locals.

I had one more work meeting the following Monday then flew back to San Francisco. It was an extremely fun and eventful trip that I will always remember.

[journeyanddream]

Test Attempt : A Day to Be Remembered

25th March 2017, 7:30am ; Hall 5 & 6, International Convention Center, Darling Harbor Sydney. 

That day, the sky was ocean blue, with minimal clouds but the forecast predicted light rain in the afternoon. The wind was chill that day but air was surprisingly fresh, “Today is a good” i thought to myself. 

I woke early that day after a night of moderate sleep plus a sprinkle of anxiety. My alarm rang furiously as my mum budged into my room, ushering me to wake up. “Wake up, you don’t want to be late for your big day”, she seemed more enthusiastic than I was. It took me a couple of seconds to open my eyes that were glued shut, and as I reached out in a zombie like slow motion to my phone with squinting eyes... “Saturday 25th, 5:45am”, I put down the phone after a big yawn and got up unwillingly. 

By the time I left the house, It was still pitch black and It felt like i just came back from a long night drinking at the local pub, except this time I am more alert than I had been in months. I caught the earliest train to the city, an approximate 30 minutes ride from where I lived and this is the train I take nearly everyday but this one just felt unusual. As soon as I had gotten onto the train, I dug through my bag and started reading “Blue collar blue scrubs”, which was suggested to me by my humanity tutor as a “warm up session” for session I because It takes time for the brain to go into reading and comprehension mode, especially under time constraint. My mind drifted on and off the book, my mind was filled with questions, anxiety, fear and doubt; how months of preparation and hard work all culminated and boiled down to a single exam that  determines where you will be the rest of your life, a piece of paper (a whole stack of it in fact) that determines success. Scary. Unfortunately, it was not the time to be philosophical and I could not afford to waste any valuable minute here; I glued my face to the book for about another 20 minutes, until the train slowly decelerates into Town Hall Station. 

“7:30am” the digital timer read. The station was rather empty compared to its usual self...I made my way to the nearest exit and i’ve thought to myself “I’ve never been to city this early before and it felt wierd”. The walk was about 15minutes and I’ve still got 30 minutes roughly until the designated time but like a spoiled child who didnt want to take chances, I ubered my way out. The uber pulled over 5-10 minutes later who greeted me with great enthusiasm and we had a short but quite comforting conversation; “Long night huh” he asked while looking at the traffic, “No,no, actually an early start for me” i replied. Did he think i just came back from a long night of drinking and partying haha, while wearing my university jumper, i cannot imagine. As the car drifted in and out of city roads, i stared blankly outside the car window...contemplating about what is yet to come, but before i could string together a coherent thought the car slowly pulled towards a nearby curbside, and as i lifted my head up...i saw Darling Habour coming into the view with a tall, silver coated building with big headers that read “International Convention Centre” 

I stepped out swfity and said thank you to the driver. It was a magnificent view, a place i would like to come and enjoy if it wasn’t for a test.  I meandered around like a clueless chicken, struggling to find the main entrance but fortunately I was smart enough to follow a couple of students who looked just as nervous, anxious and tired as I; “AH HA! GAMSAT students! there you are” i thought to myself. “Excuse me, are you also taking the GAMSAT?” I approached a guy in red hoodie, i just had to make sure...”Yes, this way”... As i made my way up a sloppy flight of stairs, there was a large balcony like extension off the main building with long railings all around.

 I stood there for a few seconds in awe of the view, took a photo, a deep breath...and continued my way to the final destination. - To be continued