#I put the flower on my phone case to see how long it'll survive

[optimisticrunawaygalaxy]

Figured out how to make stickers, aaand I spent my entire day just making them :D

[katedrakeohd]

#Wacky Drabbles

Prompt #4 we need to identify the source of the problem

For @emceesynonymroll and my fellow:

Wacky Drabblers: @jessiembruno @brightpinkpeppercorn @jovialyouthmusic @sirbeepsalot @bobasheebaby @burnsoslow

@qween-corgis

Rated: PG for swearing

Word count: approx 3000

Dinner Discourse

Drake sits at the kitchen table watching Kate help her mother prepare dinner. He can't help but notice how much Kate and Lorraine look alike in their matching aprons. Although Lorraine’s hair is shorter and contains more grey, it's similar in color to Kate’s, and they're close to being the same height. While Kate chops ingredients for salad, her mother is stirring a pot of sauce on the stove. As they chat quietly at the counter, Lorraine periodically scolds Kate for talking with her hands while she's holding a knife.

Lorraine glances over her shoulder at Drake when he starts chuckling, “I didn't know that preparing food was a spectator sport. Or that it was so entertaining.”

Drake grins back, “I like to watch Kate work in the kitchen. It's such a rare thing to see these days. Besides if you think she looks dangerous talking with a knife in her hand you should have seen her cut our wedding cake with a sword!”

Kate shoots a glare at Drake for mentioning the wedding that her Mom wasn't even invited to. When her Mom's mouth drops open in shock, Kate gestures toward her with the knife in her hand and gives him a disapproving look. Seriously? He shrugs back at her and mouths sorry.

Lorraine admonishes Kate for her reckless behavior, “Seriously? Isn't using a sword a little bit dramatic even if you are a Duchess now?”

Kate pops a slice of cucumber into her mouth before answering. “Well the sword was a wedding gift. At least it was thoroughly cleaned off before the cake cutting. It came in very handy when I was fighting assassins earlier that day.” Kate's amused by her Mom's wide eyed expression when she looks at Drake to confirm what she's just heard.

“Fighting off assassins on your wedding day? You can't be serious.”

Drake gets up from the table and walks over to give Kate a hug from behind and a kiss on the cheek. “Oh we're deadly serious. The two of us were even kidnapped from our wedding reception. Your daughter and I fought off a whole crew of bad guys with the help of our friends. Kate is a total badass.”

Lorraine steps back from the stove, her hand going to her hip as she tries to make sense of what she's hearing. She points her finger at them both. “Oh my God why didn't you tell me any of this? Or that you were in so much danger?” Although the question is directed at Kate, her eyes are glaring at Drake accusingly as if it's his fault her daughter was in harm's way.

Kate leans back into Drake and his arms tighten around her protectively. “Look Mom, it's not like you could have done anything about my situation. I have Drake to protect me, and I have bodyguards and powerful friends who will always have my back. I'm not some quivering flower either. Besides I survived living in New York city by myself long before Drake even met me.”

“All kidding aside Mrs. Darling, I love Kate and I'd never let anything bad happen to her. I've taken a bullet for her, and even won a duel against a trained swordsman in defense of her honor. I assure you she's in good hands.” Drake insists.

Turning back to the stove to tend to the pots and picking up her spoon again, Lorraine shakes her head and sighs. “The fact that you had to put your own life on the line and be so brave to protect my daughter does little to reassure me Drake. As much as I appreciate you being there for her, it's the fact that there are people out there wanting to do her harm that worries me.”

Kate pats Drake on the arm and then he lets her go back to finish making the salad.

“I told you Drake, my Mom's no pushover. You'll have to rope the darn moon to make her happy.”

Lorraine chuckles, “Well I don't know about roping the moon, but he can start by setting the table for dinner.”

Drake nods, “Yes ma'am.” And after being shown where to find everything he goes to work setting the table for four.

Kate steals glances at Drake as he moves from cupboard to table. As she watches him place each item carefully, she can't help but smile. He catches her watching him and winks back with a grin. Lorraine sees Kate blush and look away, shaking her head.

“Geez daughter of mine I haven't seen you blush over a boy since you were in high school. He must really be something.”

Kate grins at her mother, “Oh you have no idea. He's more than just something, he's everything.”

Lorraine laughs, “I used to think the same thing about your Dad, until he ran away with his young Brazilian intern. But look at you going and landing yourself a Duke.”

Kate tosses the vegetables in the bowl with a pair of tongs. “Well ….actually he married a Duchess. He was just a poor homeless shmuck before he met me.”

Drake protests with a laugh, “Hey I wasn't homeless.”

“If I had accepted Nicholas’ proposal I would have so totally kicked you out of the Palace,” Kate teases as she places the salad bowl on the table.

Drake slips an arm around her back, untying her apron strings. “Well then this poor shmuck is lucky you turned him down then. Otherwise taking that bullet to the arm was a total waste of time.”

Lorraine turns around and leans against the counter, her arms crossed. “Oh my goodness you two lead interesting lives don't you? Bullets, assassins, multiple proposals it's like you live in a movie or a novel.”

Kate laughs, “Well actually we do! One of our friends documented the whole thing. I'll have to send you a copy of his book.”

“Well I suppose that's one way to get caught up on what I've been missing. I saw you two on the cover of a magazine at the grocery store, and couldn't believe it. I so wish I could have been at the wedding. It's not everyday that your daughter gets married and becomes a National hero at the same time.”

“Actually to make sure it was extra official we got married twice,” Kate chuckles as Drake wraps her in a hug.

When the oven timer beeps Lorraine grabs her oven mitts and takes the tray of meatballs out of the oven.

“What do you mean twice? Oh never mind, I don't need to know.” Lorraine sighs, turning off the oven.

While Lorraine is busy at the stove, Drake slips his hand behind Kate's apron and places it on her belly. He leans in and whispers into her ear. “Should we tell her?”

Kate tips her head to the side and gives him a kiss. “Sssh, not yet.”

Turning around from the stove, Lorraine unties her own apron and sets it aside. “Ok you love birds, save the smooching and sweet nothings for later. Dinner's ready and as soon as Carol gets home we'll dish up. In the meantime I need to round up the cats and feed them too.”

Kate's eyes light up, “Ooh can I help? I want to meet the kitties.”

She pulls off her apron and tosses it at Drake. “Here hold this for me. Can we trust you all by yourself in the kitchen with all this food?”

Drake's stomach growls. Between all the delicious smells in the kitchen he wasn't so sure he could be trusted. He grins, pulling out his phone. “I make no promises. But I'll try to distract myself by checking in with Mara and giving her a situation report.”

Lorraine frowns at Kate as they exit the kitchen. “Who's Mara?”

Kate reaches out and touches her arm to reassure her, “My bodyguard. She's back in Seattle at the hotel. It was tough to convince her to stay behind today. But I promised her we'd check in regularly, and contact the local authorities if anything bad happened.”

Her mother nods, “Does Drake have a bodyguard too?”

Kate glances over her shoulder back toward the kitchen as they go down the hall, lowering her voice. “He does, but Drake is so used to looking after himself that he rarely sees the need to give him much work outside of Cordonia. He left Preston back in Valtoria with instructions to keep watch over the estate.”

Back in the kitchen, Drake leans against the counter and talks to Mara on the phone. In his other hand is the remainder of his chocolate donut.

“Everything is fine Mara, aside from some delinquent water fowl there hasn't been anything to worry about.”

On the other end of the line Mara sounds agitated and out of breath, evidently she's been pacing the room and waiting for his call. “I don't like it. I should be there to keep an eye on you and Kate. With all the added attention this Royal Heir business has brought upon you both we never know who we can trust.”

With a sigh Drake takes a bite of donut, “Well I'm pretty sure we're safe with Kate's mother. But if it'll make you feel better you can coordinate with the local authorities in Klamath Falls to be on alert in case we need assistance.” Damn what a mother hen she is. Surely this will give her something to do in our absence.

Mara's smile of relief is audible in her voice, “I'll get right on that Your Grace. Oh and at what hour should I expect you and the Duchess back at the hotel tonight?”

Drake chews on his lip hesitantly before answering, “Well considering the length of the drive and that we're just about to sit down for dinner, it's not likely we'll be back tonight.”

“But that's..that's unacceptable and a serious breach of protocol. I insist that you reconsider your decision to stay overnight Your Grace.”

Drake runs his hand through his hair in frustration, “I seriously don't see a problem Mara. There's no foreseeable threat. Just do as I asked and then get some sleep. We'll be back in the morning.”

Before she can protest further he hangs up.

Great. Now she's got me all nervous about being out here in buttfuck nowhere without backup. Thanks a lot.

Out in the backyard in the diminished light of early evening, a fox silently trots toward the poultry pen. Sniffing the air and with his tail held low he discerns no obvious threats. This wasn't his first visit. Poking his snout through the waffled metal fence, he clamps down on the metal wire with his teeth and tugs in an attempt to loosen it from the wooden frame. When it doesn't budge, he paws at the soft ground next to the fence instead and begins to dig a hole.

On the far side of the pen by the gate, Clem is resting with his face tucked under his wing. The sound of scratching jolts him out of his doze and he puffs out his feathers and opens his beak to hiss a warning. The fox stops digging and crouches low to begin wriggling under the fence. With a flap of his wings and a strangled hissing honk, Clem launches himself across the pen to attack the intruder. With gnashing teeth the fox fights back with a yip and a snarl. Clem flaps his wings and beats the fox around the head until he struggles his way back out of the hole. The fox shakes off the dirt from his fur and then sneezes before running away. Clem sees the hole as a new point of escape, ducking his head and attempting to fit under the fence. He only gets halfway through and gets stuck, one wing on either side of the fence. In his panicked state he starts flapping his wings and honking loudly.

In the kitchen the sudden commotion caused Drake to almost choke on the last bite of his donut. What the fuck is Clem up to now?

The headlights of Carol’s Jeep illuminate the front yard as she pulls into the driveway. As she parks next to Drake's rented black Lexus, she can't help but raise her eyebrows. Apparently the Duke and Duchess travel in style.

When she cuts the engine Clem’s loud honking meets her ears. Looking toward the house she's surprised to see a man in a white dress shirt and jeans come out through the screen door carrying a broom.

Well hello there handsome stranger, you must be Drake.

In the glaring flood of her headlights he raises a hand to shield his eyes. Oops sorry.

Shutting off her lights, Carol gets out of the Jeep. “Hi there. You must be Drake.”

Drake smiles, giving a slight nod. “Carol, I assume.”

Stepping forward, Carol sticks out her hand in greeting. Drake wipes his hand on his jeans and then accepts her handshake. Clem continues to honk loudly.

“I see you're armed. Is the darn goose causing problems again?” she laughs.

Drake looks down at the broom in his hand, “It seemed to do the trick earlier, so I figured why not.”

“Well I guess we need to identify the source of the problem then. I'll lead the way.” Carol says, stepping past Drake.

He makes an “after you" gesture with his arm and then falls in behind her. As they come around to the back of the house, the other feathered residents in the chicken coop are also raising a fuss. Carol checks the latch on Clem's pen and sees it still fastened.

“Ok well he didn't get out this way.”

Pointing with the handle of the broom in the dim light Drake says, “Nope, from the looks of things he's found another way. Or at least he tried.”

Clem has stopped struggling and is just laying there wedged and wailing.

“Now what?” Carol wonders.

“Well with his wings out like that he can't really move forward or backward. So we need to get him to fold up a wing and either back up or squeeze the rest of the way through.” Drake offers with a shrug.

“Ok then Sir Broomsalot, which end do you want to tackle? Cuz he's either gonna snap and hiss from the front, or blow shit all over you from the back.” Carol laughs.

“Well he's better off back in his pen than out of it. So I'll tackle him from the front. I have the broom for protection.” Drake says, apprehensively.

“You don't sound so sure about this plan.” Carol says, placing her hand on the top of the gate preparing to get in with Clem.

Drake walks around the enclosure to the opposite side. “Well I'd rather just whack the hell out of him until he pops through, but that's liable to break a wing or maim him in some other way.”

Carol chuckles, “That wouldn't hurt my feelings. But it wouldn't do him any good to die of an infection before we're ready to…you know.”

Drake looks down at the silly goose as he hisses and snaps at him. “Ok here's the plan. I’ll use the broom to deflect his head and neck back toward his body. Then I'll fold in his wing and then shove him back through. Can you grab him by the legs and pull?”

Carol laughs as she gets into the pen, “Ok, it's worth a shot. It wouldn't be the first time the damn bastard has shit on me.”

Drake nods, crouching down with the flat side of the broom as a shield in front of him, “Alrighty then, here goes.”

Clem honks and starts to flap his wings in protest as Drake presses the broom into the side of his face. But with his head and neck turned to the side he stops struggling. Drake braces the broom with his knee and then carefully folds in his wing the best he can. “Ok now pull.”

Sucking in a deep breath, Carol turns her head to the side and then yanks the goose by the legs and whips him off to the side. In a flurry of flapping and feathers, Clem tumbles across the pen and then rights himself again. With a flap of his wings and a shake of his head he seems to be more or less back to normal, save for a few lost feathers.

Drake drops back on his ass on the ground, laughing. Carol scrambles to her feet and gestures for Drake to help her up over the side of the pen. “Hey! Get off yer ass and help me outta here.”

“Oh right.” Drake rolls over and gets up. He sticks the broom down into the pen and Carol steps up on the side of it, and then scrambles over the side with his help.

Glancing around for something to block the hole, she points to a large plant pot nearby. “Can you lift that? Use it to block the hole for tonight?”

Drake frowns, sucking in a breath and then letting it out with a shrug. “Ok sure.”

Carol opens her mouth to offer to help, but then Drake squats and lifts the planter of flowers easily and places it next to the fence.

“Wow, brains and brawn. You're the complete package aren't you.” Carol chuckles.

“He sure is,” a voice says from behind them.

Carol and Drake turn to see Kate coming out of the backdoor. “Uh Carol, this is my wife Kate.” Drake says with a grin, wiping his hands on his jeans.

“Oh my goodness if you're not the spitting image of your mother!” Carol exclaims happily.

Kate nods and laughs, “Thanks, now if you two are done playing duck-duck-goose, why don't you come in for supper?”

Drake bows his head to Kate and gives her a wink and smile, “Yes ma'am.”

Continue to the next part