#I put it under a readmore so it wouldn't be as long on my blog haha

[dilaughosaurus]

Who is your top ten favorite dunmeshi characters?

Hmm I think that would be:

Senshi

Winged Lion

Thistle

Mithrun

Lycion

Chilchuck

Laios

Fleki

Falin

Marcille

[dunmeshistash]

Greetings, Mr. Meshi!

This is perhaps a bit of an unorthodox question, but one that has been bothering me for an unreasonable amount of time.

Now, here's the thing: I OBSESS over Marcille outliving everyone she holds dear. It's a theme very close to me, but even beyond that I just find it to be one of the most interesting elements of Dungeon Meshi's story for me personally. I've written an embarrassing amount of lengthy essays on it that will never see the light of day - that's how obsessed I am over this specific element of her character. But, there's something that bothers me...

A lot of poignant stories and artworks that tackle this topic get comments on 'em whenever Falin is the subject of aging, each one some variation of "Everything points to Falin having an extended lifespan after her revival!" which... Seems weird to me?

I don't know why this bothers me so much, but setting aside my personal annoyances, I don't remember anything pointing to this at all. At least, nothing concrete.

I don't know if this is a question you'd want to answer or not, but since your blog is a hub for all sorts of opinions and headcanons, I'd love to know where this line of thought could originate from.

I really wouldn't blame you if you didn't answer this question, though. Part of me feels I'm just asking this because I want to see if others share in my confusion or not.

Rrrregardless, though! Lemme take the opportunity to say that your blog is delighful. Love it! Also, that mushroom man with the funny face that sometimes responds to you with lengthy essays is also really cool. Everyone is cool. At least here on the northern hemisphere! It is smack dab in the middle of fall, after all! Coolness all around! Stay frosty! Or don't! Maybe warm up at a fireplace. I don't know!

Hi there! Thank you for the kind words, I love reading other's opinions on what I post so I also love the additions by the mushroom <3

It's quite hot over here in northeast Brazil, send some coolness my way please I'm dying.

Your question isn't strange at all! And I don't mind answering anything (unless it's rude or sounds like shipping war bait) so don't worry.

(Decided to put the rest under a readmore, TLDR: Kui said "maybe so, right?" about Falin having a longer lifespan but I have arguments why I don't think this actually confirms it. Anyway if you're someone who likes the headcanon you might want to skip this post)

To be honest those type of comments bother me too because I also LOVE Marcille's struggle with mortality and sometimes "Falin will live much longer!" feels undermining of the lesson she had to learn. I don't mind it in the headcanon sphere where everything is allowed and happy endings grow on trees but when it becomes intertwined with canon it starts to make me a little disappointed.

Just a reminder of the lesson she has to learn

She has to come to terms with the cycle of life and death, that something she wants (everyone to live longer) shouldn't be forced upon others just because it causes her grief. So, to me at least, Falin being made into something that will end up outliving other tallmen would undermine the message? In a canon sense ofc, if you're writing a wish fulfillment story then her living longer would have a different meaning, I just wanna be clear I have nothing against it in that sense, it all depends on what story you're trying to tell.

Anyway, actually answering your question that idea comes from the fact she was fused to a Red Dragon, and the fact her body has been affected by it, her sight was fixed and she grows feathers for example, so people theorize maybe her lifespan has been affected too. But we don't really know how long dragon's live so it's hard to say how much it would have been affected if at all.

It also comes from this answer Kui gave in a QnA

Q: Would Falin have an extended lifespan after the whole chimera thing? A: Maybe so, right?

To me this reads as the usual non-answers Kui gives, like, "I'll leave it up to your imagination" but for other people this read as a confirmation of the headcanon, in another questions she answers "I hope so" about Thistle leading a happy life after having his desires eaten and it's even debatable if Thistle survived at all so I don't think those comments indicate much of canon (I'm that way about most QnA answers tbh, unless it's something inconsequential like confirming Mithrun's Brother's name or stuff about very minor characters)

Another argument I have against her having a different lifespan is Izutsumi, Izu has been mixed with a monster but continues to age at the same rate a Tallmen would, even tho she also has different biology because of the Great Cat she's fused with (ears, reflexes, eyes etc etc) she is still a tallman

Falin isn't really the same thing as Izutsumi tho, I understand, but it's the closest example we have, if we believe the AB descriptions and demi-humans are really mixes between humans and monsters that's also another argument about it not affecting lifespan, since all of them are short lived and have an average lifespan of 55.

All of this *can* be dissmissed tho, the other demi-humans and beastmen are all mixed with mammal monsters and nothing nearly as powerful as a Dragon, so there is arguments to be made that Falin is different and that she *might* have an extended lifespan, all I'm saying is that there's no solid confirmation of it, it's fine to believe it but going around "correcting" other people saying it's a fact wouldn't be right I don't think, especially if you're saying that in a conversation about Marcille journey of death acceptance.

Death is a touchy subject and everyone is at different stages of their own journeys with it so I really don't want to judge those who would rather have Falin or even Laios live longer. I'm not really sure how to talk about this in the proper way, but I hope I didn't make anyone upset!

[blessedarethebinarybreakers]

i could be wrong about this (i've been following this blog so long i wouldn't be surprised if im confused lol) but you changed/shifted denominations, right? im catholic, born catholic, but i struggle with what much of the church preaches/supports, and the catholic communities i grew up in are not a great place for queer people. so im looking at other affirming churches where i live, which are mostly united. they all seem great, but i find that im struggling with all the ways they aren't catholic. i find it uncomfortable that there isn't a priest (and find it uncomfortable that i find it uncomfortable), i miss the hymns from my old church, and receiving the eurcharist every sunday, and all the other little rituals i can recite on rote (which i like!). and then i suppose i feel strange for taking space in this church that isn't my own, just because it's more 'convenient', since i dont have much intention to abandon the parts of catholicism i want to keep (like mary and the saints). im not sure whether i should just suck it up and shift denominations entirely, or retain my (kind of shaky, ill admit i reject a fair amount of catholic teachings) catholic beliefs. and even then, im also not sure how to make myself more comfortable with attending a church without the rituals and mass im used to - even though i really really want to attend church again. sorry for blabbing on, but... any advice?

Hey there anon, so sorry for the very long delay; I hope you're doing all right. I was indeed born and raised Catholic, and still deeply love so much about Catholic tradition; I know how hard this decision is — whether to stay or go, whether to keep one foot in and one foot out, etc...

(Oh, one thing I want to mention right away is that you don't need to worry about "taking space" in a church you're not part of yet. Churches are meant to make room for visitors! There is plenty of room for you, and if a church makes you feel otherwise somehow, that's on them. Just bringing that up here because the rest of this long response goes in a different direction lol.)

Ultimately, you're the only one who can decide the right path for you. The good news is that you have as long as you need to figure it out! You might lean in one direction for a while and later realize you need to shift a bit; you don't have to do it all at once.

I can share a bit about my own journey to help you imagine a bit better what it even looks like to walk this path; your path may end up looking similar, or very different from mine. Putting the rest under a readmore because it's so long lol.

I was super devout Catholic all my life, into college. Then going into sophomore year of college I started figuring out I was queer — plus I was encountering more and more kinds of people than I'd ever met before, and questions about where they "fit" into Catholic doctrine and the like.

Sophomore year I started crushing on my then-roommate, now-wife, and exploring my gender a bit more, and I started getting extremely anxious each Sunday at Mass. I couldn't stop wondering what people in the pews with me would think, what they'd do if they knew. That spring semester and then into the fall, I started going to Mass less and less frequently and eventually not at all.

Meanwhile my roomie was going through similar issues with feeling way too alienated from her conservative church to keep attending. So together, we found an LGBT-affirming church near campus and walked there one Sunday. The relief we felt walking in there, seeing other queer people and couples; the warmth and welcome, the chance to hold hands in public for the first time; getting to share communion, which was a big warm loaf of bread, with folks who knew what we were and loved us in, not despite it...was like nothing I'd ever experienced.

We kept going there the rest of the school year. That summer, back in my hometown, I kept going to my childhood church for Catholic Mass. I really loved the affirming church we'd found, but like you I missed so many things that Catholic church has and they just don't: there's a higher sense of reverence at Mass; the singing resonates through my psyche; I weirdly feel Christ more strongly in the little wafer host than in that warm loaf, though the latter made me feel more spiritually connected to the humans around me...

I wanted both. I wanted to keep my relationship with my Saints. I wanted Mary and the rosary. I wanted the high reverence. And I wanted the warmth and connection I found at our new church. I wanted the laughter as children dunked their big chunk of loaf into the chalice, getting crumbs everywhere, even if it made my Catholic sensibilities cringe a little (I write about the "culture shock," getting more accustomed to those eucharistic differences here). I wanted to be surrounded with this much more diverse group of people.

So for years, even as I graduated undergrad and started my studies at a Presbyterian seminary, I've tightrope walked between Catholicism and Protestantism. I took every chance I got in my classes to write my papers (or a whole website) about queer-resonant Saints, or to bring up a book of the Bible that Catholics have but Protestants don't, or to teach classmates what it means that Catholics venerate but don't worship Mary. I went to a Presbyterian church most Sundays, but to Catholic Mass on holy days like Good Friday.

Keeping one foot in the Catholic Church — going to Mass a few times a year, cultivating my relationships with Saints privately, writing lots of poems about everything I was feeling (like this one and this one) — while spending most of my time and building up community within the PC(USA) was what worked for me for many years. Sometimes it would get frustrating; often when visiting a Catholic church I'd feel that anxiety wonder what would happen if someone there called me out for being queer. Often I'd feel alienated, lonely, wishing I could bring my whole self into one place if that makes sense; but I made it work.

Then things took a painful turn late last May — content warning for religious trauma & transphobia from a Catholic priest. I was visiting home, and that meant dropping by my childhood church for Mass. When the priest I've known almost my whole life, who gave me my first communion and Confirmed me, got halfway through his homily, it suddenly turned into transphobic condemnation. I felt like the floor had dropped out from under me. I decided to speak up; I interrupted Mass to assert that queer people are beloved by God; I was escorted out of my childhood church. It was really, really painful; it still really hurts.

I haven't visited a Catholic church since then. And it breaks my heart I'll never feel safe about going back to my childhood church again :'(

I bring up this traumatic moment not to scare you away from keeping some part of you in the Catholic Church — so many of us do remain partially or all the way in it despite its failures. Hopefully you'll never encounter something this overtly queerphobic. But I bring it up to say that if you stay in the Catholic Church, you probably will encounter things over the years — hopefully small, maybe big — that bring you pain. Little ways comments chip at your sense of worth and dignity; new documents from the Vatican that speak against queerness.

But honestly, you'll probably encounter a little hurt wherever you go. No church, no community at all, is perfect. People say and do thoughtless things. You'll probably experience less of that in an LGBT affirming church, but wherever you go, you'll need to gradually amass spiritual shields — connection to the divine, to other people, places you go for refuge.

I haven't returned to a Catholic church since that incident — but I have made relationships I wouldn't have made otherwise. Various people who attended my childhood church's grade school reached out to me to thank me for my courage; one of them even wrote an article about what I did and what she and her friends experienced as students there. Someone from my home state's branch of Dignity USA reached out to me.

I've sort of "officially" let myself sever that last thread connecting me to anything Roman Catholic, to the institution; but I hold on to the elements of Catholic tradition that bring me spiritual nourishment. They can pry Mary and the Saints from my cold dead hands (no actually! not even then!)

...So that's my personal journey up to the present day. (I also sum up my sort of situationship identifying as an agnostic Catholic Presbyterian in this post.) But others have different paths.

I know so many queer Catholics, ex-Catholics, not-sure-where-they-fit type folks...there are:

queer Catholics who stick with the Catholic Church completely;

or who occupy a sort of liminal in-between, sticking to the Catholic edges but still interacting with Catholic institutions.

I know others who completely left all things Catholic behind, not just the institutions but all Saints, songs, etc.

If you're interested in listening to / reading about a few other people's experiences, I've interviewed a few queer Catholics on my podcast:

there's Emma Cieslik, who archives all sorts of queer Catholic experiences in her own oral history project;

There's K Kriesel, whose life has taken them all around the Catholic center and many different peripheries;

There's Amy Neville, who studies art history and incorporates Catholicism into their queer art; and others too.

____

Sorry if all that was way more than you were looking for! But I hope exploring some of the journeys of others who've been in a similar place to you might help a bit.

A few other things I'll tack on:

If there are any Episcopal churches near you (that mention being LGBT friendly on their website), their vibe will be much closer to what you love from Catholicism than a UCC church is. Lutherans are also closer in vibe and often LGBT affirming.

It's possible there might be a (non-Roman) Catholic community near you that is LGBT-affirming — check out this post for more about liberal Catholics, Independent Catholics, and more.

The previously linked post also brings up organizations that aim to make the Catholic Church more LGBT-inclusive, like DignityUSA. You might find that one of those orgs has a branch near you where you can find support and commiseration.

Finally, you may also like looking through my #queer and Catholic tag, and also maybe my #lgbta patron saints tag.

Sending you love and wishing you peace, joy, and a sense of belonging. I know how hard this in-between time is, when you just don't know what to do or where to go — but God is with you on this journey. They will be with you wherever you go; in fact, the liminal spaces, the in-between not-quite-this-or-that people, are the places and people through which God most often acts <3

[summeryseaserpent]

Actually, I wanna rant. Putting under readmore so you can avoid me self reflecting on past negative stuff involving askblog and comics

I'm kind of considering making another ask blog because I'm honestly despite everything it was fun. I liked answering questions and coming up with little stories.

It was just I was too much of a people pleaser, and the work load got so heavy. It destroyed my mind and body. Literally, I had to get physical therapy after the ghs askblog because I ended up damaging a nerve in my neck. I worked so much that an anon checked up on me once because I didn't post 5 times that week. I don't think I ever said it but part of the reason I quit the ghs blog was because I had a death in my family. Now I didn't announce it on the blog because that's personal but I was still drawing during that time.

(Only people who followed the blog will understand this next part.) I finally drew Judgment Boy answering a question, I avoided it because if I drew a character I didn't draw often the comic would take longer so I focused on easy characters. The same exact hour I posted Judgement Boy answering the question, someone sent in a question asking where the "memory post" was. (Memory posts was my character unlocking a memory involving another character. Which were very long comics.)

Now, as I said, this person didn't know my situation. I never said my situation. Something broke that day and I was just full of hate towards the blog itself. I did the Judgement Boy memory post out of spite, and ironically, it was about a funeral. So uhhh your girl was really feeling it. Except I didn't even need too? I did that to myself??? For no reason??????????????

So I guess that's my fear of starting another one because I don't know if I would handle it better this time. Kinda hoping I would just be so jaded from last time that I wouldn't care at all.

Maybe. Maybe? Maybe. I don't know.

[spearxwind]

Hiya, I’d like to put some thoughts out there on my blog (my house) bc I need to yarf some intense feelings or I fear I will explode on a nuclear scale. This is about hollowridge (not in a negative light!! just explaining + reminiscing of old stuff and talking about new stuff. Pouring my heart out more than a little bit.)

I will put them under a readmore of course, this is PRETTY long winded, so you can read or ignore at your leisure -w- 

I was in my adri tag a while ago looking for some images and ended up going through the whole thing and seeing the evolution of him as a character and HR as a story. Additionally, I recently organized my external memory where all my art files are stored and also saw my old stuff, old concepts, old documents with info and ideas, etc etc and like other times where I have looked through my old stuff I have been WRACKED with so many emotions about it. It’s always a dangerous game to go back into my folders/tags to look because I always end up feeling this whooole spiel all at once and very intensely.

Seeing my content shifts is jarring. Very much so. It always is. I don’t think I can pinpoint causes, some of my better creative highs were at really low points in my life, and then other times my creativity and worlds were subsequently really hardly hit during similar lows. I like to think that I am on the up now though, both mentally and creatively. I’m getting back into a lot of things I love, and I am surrounded by people who I love dearly and who love me back, and things in general are really good! I feel less… I wouldn't say wrathful, but way less frustrated when looking back at my old stuff and more inspired to go back to these concepts with a healthier more open mind + knowing that I have improved nonetheless. 

Specifically for hollowridge. Hollowridge feels like a home to me, simple as that. It's something immensely dear to me and I think this is clear by how much effort I have put into it over time, not all of it well placed or with good results, but effort to make it the best that it could be (at best) and effort to keep it afloat (at worst). HR is a strange thing to look back on because it has gone through so many iterations that its hard to pinpoint just one when looking back, but there's a specific time slot (2017-2018 roughly… I’m not gonna check) that I believe is where it was at its best, and that is specifically the vibe that I am trying really hard to go back to with the newest iteration.

I’ve always struggled with it a lot, I've often voiced this publicly, or to friends who would hear my woes out (god bless them for hearing me go on and on about this like a bass boosted and emotional broken record), often because there was so many possibilities that I could run with and I had a lot of really, really conflicting ideas that I wanted to explore. I also had a lot of trouble with lore in general because for many years I was haunted by the absurd need to “make things make sense”, whatever that means. Having things grounded so that people wouldn't be able to poke holes into the watertight plot.. which I never achieved of course. It was less watertight and more of a welded together pringle shaped monstrosity (This was not only true for hollowridge, but was true for everything I have ever made. like in general. It’s been a consistent creative problem for me). 

Eventually what happened iteration after iteration was that I throttled myself too much with rules, random limitations, all in favor of making something cohesive and deleting all the fun bits off the project in the process.

For this reason I also can’t just up and go “yeah i'm gonna turboscrap everything and go back to what worked in 2017” because it also DIDN’T work then. But that vibe specifically is what I am aiming for. The “classic” vibe, if you will (if that means anything to you as it does to me.)

What didn't work for me back in the day was giving everything a reason for existing, which is something I no longer wish to do (it’s better that way) and also something that failed back then both in HR, and in extinction (earlier drafts) and just about any version of a story I ever tried to make was THE SCOPE. It always spiraled out of my hands. God entities always escape me. Magic systems always escape me. How cities and such would be regulated in these scenarios escape me. Its just things I’m not comfortable writing about in general

So that’s why I have made changes to it currently (the whole lens of technology over it) because it makes it easier to think about, and easier to handle. Post apocalypses are fun to handle, and also easy to handle (for me, in this context). Technology going awry feels like its easier to think about than just vague “magic”, even if in the end the aesthetic looks literally exactly the same. Does that make sense? I hope it makes sense.

To give an example: Magic spells and circles → programs and code lines. That can be shot into machinery or meat (recodes your fucking genome in real time and gives you super brain hemorrhage idk). I guess it just gives my brain something to latch onto that isnt just vague rules of a magic system that could potentially be anything and everything? It essentially works the exact same way… its just the lens of looking at it is changed.

Mimics are their own thing now (nanotechnology, instead of vague.. shadow things). Adri is his own thing while still connected to mimics (an angel array made of the same stuff, instead of.. whatever else). Connected to the world. AND all the conflicting but dearly beloved concepts I had for him actually fit (snake, scarf, smoke, usurper of a body that is not his. Hey remember when he was made out of ashes/smoke and eventually out of goop. Well all of that is true at once now! It’s ALL canon! Bitch! The concepts have been reconciled!!)

There are also more “normal” creatures besides these, animals that have either evolved aboveground due to fit into new world niches (so I can design Whatever without being too limited) and there’s also machine/biomachine chimeras, and purposed grown organisms, and just Weird Shit made by machines in the belly of the earth (meat is just complex machinery. you know this. your heart is a piston and your blood gasoline. but I digress.) So I have the space to Get Weird if I so choose, on my own terms this time. And it will have a proper place in the world.

There used to be a lot of concepts that were cool that I missed a lot when I had to shift away from them. Like mimics infecting people and pretending to be them, and then being able to break the hosts bodies apart to make bodies for the mimic itself. That did not fly in pretty much 80% of the later versions of HR but I was able to bring it back for this one. I’ve tied mimics to the epidemic and to Adri in a way that MAKES SENSE but lets me go wild anyways

I guess… the short way of explaining is that. Instead of it being very vague supernatural stuff of dubious origin, now it's a ‘manmade horrors beyond your comprehension’ type deal (still of dubious origin). Which obviously neither the characters nor I would be able to explain to you the details of its origins but the distinction MATTERS to me (to my brain).

Something else about HR is that it’s made up of me having rounded up a bunch of ocs who’s stories were empty or were left to the void so that they could have a fitting home where they could shine. At the end of the day I just wanna do my characters justice. I don’t want to just relegate them to nice set pieces (even though they ARE cool set pieces), but each of them has years of backstory stuff that I would like to keep to not lose the essence of said character and its where I put the bulk of my writing effort into.

I want their connections to the story to be solid, but I also want their base vibes and the vibes I am familiar with for those characters to BE THERE too. So if I’m slow with revealing info, or writing in general, its literally because all the processing power in my skull is being used to think of how to best approach that and not just throw low quality spaghetti at a wall. (Sometimes the spaghetti method works very well, but often. It does not. And only makes things more complex in the long run, so I have learned to be more careful with it)

Dianne and Nirven are over 12 years old now as characters. That 's insane. And she still has the same core concept of how her magic works as I created it ages ago.

Same for Bei. He still has his same vibe back when I made him 10 years ago.

And Adam when I made him 9 years ago. Though I’m working out stuff for him still in this new edition, but I’ll get there. I promise. 

Sooo……….. What I’m really trying to say is that I’m learning to have fun again. And at the same time (re)realizing I used to have some super swag ideas that I have never fully let go of that I am VERY adamant on keeping. And my aim is to go back to that unhinged unbridled joy of creating for a world that is just So Fucked Up but it Works somehow. And yeah, if you’ve ever been frustrated at my changes don’t worry: me fuckin’ too buddy. A thousandfold. And if you’ve ever been curious as to the why of everything, then I hope this rant serves as some sort of explanation?

So yeah, if you’re an old fan and missed old stuff, I hope I am able to do it justice once more and from now on. I promise I am trying my best, I always have been. It just works better sometimes. And if you are someone new and dont know what the fuck I’m talking about, 1. thank you for reading this far and 2. I hope you enjoy the ride regardless

And who knows…. knowing me in a few years I might see this all changed again. Or maybe this will be the one, finally, that sticks. We’ll see. At the moment like I said, I am focusing on loving my characters, their world, their and my original intentions, and just having as much fun as I can with it. If I create confusion in the process then that’s something I will have to accept. I’m not a big media corporation with a team or writers, or even just one (1) accomplished author with a huge brain. I’m not tolkien. I’m just some guy having fun with made up guys in my brain

Thank you for reading this far, if you did, if there’s anything you’d like to comment or discuss (if anything, I don’t expect it) please feel free to reply or DM me, I try to respond in a timely manner when possible <3 

Thanks for sticking around too. It means the world to me that you have. Have a really good week, cheers

[dailyoyo]

GGs ranked by how quickly they would resort to murdering their friends if they were stuck in a timeloop (Real edition)

my sincerest fucking apologies to pseud for what ive done to their blog.

THAT SAID: on account of this being very long and very grim to the point that most of it is too grimdark to even be funny anymore i am putting it under a readmore. This is a half-joke half-serious post about the ggs getting stuck in a time loop and murdering each other so like. you get what you click on.

also these are all specifically based aroudn our interps/jet set radio paradox obviously so bear that in mind lol

RULES TO MINIMIZE VARIABLES: only one of them knows they're in a time loop, each is a separate scenario where the listed character is the one who knows and remembers. they do not know why the loop is happening and they do not know how to stop it. the span of time the loop happens is relatively normal, though dangerous enough events happen (maybe just normal jsr stuff) that people may accidentally die during it depending on the exempt character's actions. everyone who dies during a loop is alive again when the date rolls back over. everything is back to square one. no consequences. 14. Pots pots is a dog, even if a highly intelligent one. assuming he can even grasp the idea of a time loop (unlikely) i believe it is even further unlikely that he would recognize it as a bad thing. very possible he just stays in the time loop contentedly forever 13. Soda it takes like a week (or until the first "someone dies and comes back") for him to even notice he's in a timeloop (general apathy/depression?). but when he does notice he's pretty together about it. obviously he wants out but he's literally got all the time in the world, he doesn't need to do stupid traumatic shit just to see what happens. he's got this.

12. Jazz WHY WOULD MURDER EVEN BE PART OF THIS EQUATION WHAT THE FUCK? shes not gonna kill anybody and would think its super fucked to even raise the idea. how is that supposed to help. That said. she does keep repeatedly explaining she's in a time loop almost every loop and it is getting to the point that she kiiiiinda wants to strangle someone or two as stress relief because by god is she stressed. she Won't, she's got more sense than that, but. But…

11. Boogie i think she never really goes full murdermode or anything and the very idea of that happening would shock and disturb her, but surprisingly early on she gives into the impulse to push one of the other ggs into traffic (it doesn't matter anyway, right?) and watches them get ran over. and she's like O_O oh jesus fuck that was horrible. and she never kills anyone again during the loops but it HAUNTS her and makes her nervous abt the idea that she COULD do it again.

10. Gum she's mostly level headed, i think, so she wouldn't be quick to resort to madness. but give her enough time and she starts feeling desperate and does some scary shit in the hopes that maybe somehow they'll at least remember next time. like more than anything i think it's the isolation of it that gets to her. maybe she doesn't progress to outright intentional murder, maybe she only tries it once or twice to see if it fixes anything (it doesn't). while she doesn't go full-blown axe-crazy she DOES become incredibly dangerous and desperate to just not be the only one who remembers.

9. Garam while his nerves end up aaaabsolutely shot and he loses all his patience to see the same day happening over and over, i think it would honestly take a while for him to become a danger to the ggs. he'd rather take out his stress on Literally Anything Else. that said he'd reach a point where he accidentally kills someone for real (whether a gg or an unrelated party) and it fucks him up reallll bad, but whether it fucks him up in a "fine whatever i can kill people who cares" way or a "I NEED TO BE CAREFUL THIS NEVER HAPPENS AGAIN HOLY FUCK" way depends on the circumstances.

8. Beat honestly? unless something in particular causes him to suspect one of the ggs is responsible for the loop, it takes a while for it to even occur to him that killing his friends is an option. like maybe he might end up killing the GGs' enemies and maybe even rivals, but if you brought up the idea of killing his FRIENDS to him he'd be like "wait huh??? but why even????" that said, though, keep him in there long enough and he might develop a severe god complex and start doing it purely to power trip.

7. Combo putting him in a time loop i think would really be the last straw in his miserable life. maybe he deserves the right to kill someone at this point really. while he focuses intently on trying to find a way to break the loop, as it all begins to grate on him he really just stops giving a shit about much of anything. the murder isn't a constant thing, more like one or two good ol' kill em all style breakdowns, and obviously it only makes him feel sick to his stomach when the date rolls over, but what can he even do about it?

6. Clutch he tries to play it cool at first and not think about it too hard but it isnt long before a sort of prey animal panic is invoked in him and hes like. I gotta get outta here. I gotta get out of here. Oh my god i gotta get the hell out of here. and it doesn't help that hes really not close with these guys yknow. and any concern from the ggs he reacts to with escalating violence until he reaches the point he's killing them multiple times in hopes that gives him a way out. eventually he just gives up

5. Corn at first the thought of killing his friends doesnt even cross his mind but he becomes increasingly desperate to understand what's happening and soon enough it's a last resort. it's all very methodical testing the limits of the loop and himself, not explaining anything to anyone else because they'll forget anyway and becoming increasingly hostile and isolationist. he doesn't want to but He's out of options. He has to FIGURE IT OUT.

4. Roboy what bothers him more than anything else is the feeling of helplessness over the whole thing and even if the others COULD help him he's not going to try to get their help. he kills the other ggs to feel less powerless, like he has any sort of control over the situation, and all it does is make him feel worse and worse and worse. maybe eventually reaches a point where he starts deleting his memories of the resets in the hopes this breaks the vicious feedback loop but all it does is ensure the cycle never ends.

3. Yoyo If you put yoyo in a situation where nothing he does matters and none of his actions have consequences he will do increasingly crazy dumb shit because it's not like it matters anyway. and he will undergo EXTREMELY RAPID psychological decay that DOES end in him killing members of the ggs just to see what effect it has both on the loop and on others' psyches. and he will just assume that the loop is forever and ever with no way to ever break it.

2. Cube cube upon realizing she and she alone is in a timeloop will rapidly come to the conclusion that she is in actual literal hell. everything wrong with her will come to the surface at once. she will suffer a severe psychological break SO fast and the streets will run red. maybe she's enjoying it. maybe she isn't. but she is convinced this HAS to happen. and that she deserves it. 1. Mew As soon as Mew finds out that deaths don't stick she's going to massacre all of the GGs just to see how it feels. just once. to try it. it's fine. it doesn't matter. Where did she get that higurashi cleaver

bonus: with the way i joke about zero beat maybe he doesnt even notice hes in a time loop until After hes maimed someone to death. i dont know man. im lying. who fucking give a shit

[queenharumiura]

☠ What does someone have to do for an instant unfollow from you?

♦ What was a mildly annoying thing that has happened to you rp wise?

♚ How many people don't like you?

✮ Have you managed to stay away from drama?

☯ Have you ever tried to bring peace to a situation?

☀ What's your rp pet peeve?

☂ Have you ever been forgiven when you knew you shouldn't have been?

☣ Have you ever rp'd with someone you knew for a fact was abusive but tried to give them a chance/to make up your own opinion on the roleplayer? Did they change or did you understand what people were talking about?

❀ What has made you completely lose your chill?

✂ A fandom that you feel isn't open and accepting?

✦ Thoughts on duplicates following you?

❥ Has someone ever ruined an FC or character for you?

❧ Have you ever been jealous of anyone?

♒ Thoughts on the fandom you're currently rping in?

[Original] ||Accepting|| @thehandworld

LOL so many-- I'll put this under a readmore because it's gonna get long.

☠ What does someone have to do for an instant unfollow from you?

Mmm... the only thing that I can think of is if someone reposts art without credit and without permission from the artist. HOWEVER, I usually do talk to the person and tell them about my concerns first. I don't just unfollow instantly. I at least give them a chance after explaining to them why it's in my rules. If they can understand and say that they'll be more mindful of it moving forwards, we're good. IF they tell me anything like 'I don't care, I want to post pretty art onto my blog' or 'it's the artists fault for posting their art if they don't want it posted elsewhere,' then I WILL instantly unfollow AND BLOCK.

[edit] I remembered a reason for me to instantly unfollow/block someone. If I find out that someone engages in underaged muses doing smut, I will unfollow/block instantly. This is one of the only times that I'll unfollow/block without warning because this-- to put it lightly... is a trigger for me.

♦ What was a mildly annoying thing that has happened to you rp wise?

Hm... mildly annoying... I mostly have things that don't annoy me or REALLY annoy me. The only mildly annoying thing that I can think of is when random artists will come into my ims and be like 'can I offer my services for commission?' I understand that they are trying to promote themselves and such, but... I don't really like it.

It happens a lot on dA, where people will promote themselves in my notes or in my ims because they see that i've commissioned a lot of art or bought a lot of adoptables over the years. Just because of that, it doesn't mean I want to buy from every artist out there. I find it rude for people to just come into my dms to request for me to purchase a commission from them. I wouldn't mind if they simply asked me to look through their gallery, but to ask for me to buy from them? That bothers me a little bit. ESPECIALLY the ones who send me multiple messages hours apart. That one actually annoys me quite a bit.

♚ How many people don't like you?

I have no idea on a number, but I can think of a few who don't like me in this fandom and outside of this fandom. I won't talk on this fandom, but for those outside of the fandom? I can think of many Inu//yasha fandom people who don't like me because that fandom is really bad with stealing art and resposting them without permission. I kept speaking about how bad it is and I got into arguments with people about it. With many of the people saying 'it's the artists fault for posting their art if they don't want it reposted,' I left the fandom. It was stressing me out. I've blocked a good number of them.

There was a time because of the Inu\\yasha sequel and me playing Sesshomaru... and me being mutuals with someone who... had tastes that I don't agree with... I was getting a lot of hate from people accusing me of being a p//edo-apologist. I have since cut-ties with the person once I found out, but I did get hate for something that no one thought to warn me about. This is why for a long time I was terrified of my inbox.

I'm sure the moderator team of a RP group I was once a part of years ago don't like me either. It's a long-ass story, but in simple terms: if you want to talk smack about trans or non-binary people, don't do it on a twitter that you LINKED in your bio page??? That's fucking stupid??? Of course people are going to want to leave your group if one of the MODERATORS is talking like that.

✮ Have you managed to stay away from drama?

I've been in a few here and there //motions to answer directly above

I know that there were two separate occasions of big KHR drama. I avoided those because for the first one, I wasn't in the fandom yet. For the second one, I didn't really visit the KHR discord server often enough to see the drama that was going on. That event caused a number of the KHR fandom to leave the RPC, including Kiril, my favorite Hibari. He was the one that gave Haru her little 'Mi-chan' (her own lil Hibird).

I've literally never had a good experience in ANY RP discord server. All of them ended horribly. Two RP groups crashed and burned because of moderators not doing a good job. Another smaller server crashed and burned because of incidents between the members. The Inu\\yasha one? I never joined it, but BECAUSE I didn't join it, people stopped interacting with me as much. It was like they felt offended that I didn't trust joining the server because 'do you think we'd start drama?'

WELL!!!!! ONE OF YOU DOXXED A GIRL'S DAUGHTER, AND Y'ALL BULLIED AND KICKED OUT MY FRIEND- SO YE, I DON'T TRUST YOU GUYS WORTH A DAMN, YOU FUCKS. Best decision for me to NOT join that server.

TLDR: The fact that I'm not super active in public spaces, I feel, helped me stay out of a lot of drama over the years.

☯ Have you ever tried to bring peace to a situation?

... Yes. The small server that I briefly mentioned above? I did try to mediate between members. I did try to have people see eye to eye, but... it didn't work. A lot of it is the fact that personalities really clashed and ... a lot of hurtful words were said. It didn't end well.

☀ What's your rp pet peeve?

Mmmn... I'm not sure how to answer this... as there are things that bother me or annoy me in the RP sphere, but they are also usually minor things that I am very willing to simply gloss over and ignore, so I won't count those for this answer. As it is a salt meme, I think this is really asking for things that I'm not so willing to overlook.

I won't talk about things like rule-breaking because that's just... an obvious answer.

I suppose something that actually peeves me off is if I see someone reblogging a lot of call\\out posts. I'm sure some of them are very valid, but I've also seen some where I do think a lot of it was simply misunderstandings. I say this because it happened in KHR RPC years ago where someone said the wrong thing because English wasn't native tongue and people took the words out of context, witch hunted them and they left the fandom.

I suppose another thing that really upsets me is hypocrisy. It's aggravating to me when someone is in their rules saying 'Communication is important,' 'vague posting is bad, so don't do it! I'll block on sight!' and 'don't start drama, I hate it!' and also be the ones who DO vague on their blog, they DO actively ghost and block people instead of communicating, and DOXX people when they're upset. Then they go around and STEAL AU ideas from the person who upset them. THAT PEEVES ME OFF. Full transparency? I'm talking about the Inu\\yasha fandom here. THIS is what happened.

You can't sit there in your rules and claim you hate drama and that you value communication but also refuse to communicate. Then you also vague post??? I'll never forget the energy of them going 'if you think this post is about you, IT IS' LIKE WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?????????????????? I was already going to leave the fandom because of the art reposting but when I saw that??? OH, I left in a HEARTBEAT. FK THEM.

I'll NEVER forgive that fandom for what they did to my friend. I saw how hurt she was over what happened. Not gonna lie, a lot of the times, I noticed that people who claim they value communication and hate drama in their rules usually end up being in drama and not communicate. That's my hot take.

Source? //motions to the inu\\yasha fandom. SO MANY OF THEM said this in their rules and yet they propogated the drama with being very cliquey, booting people out of servers without a warning. Or you made a completely new server and didn't re-invite one person. So then their friend who was in the new server invited the person in because they didn't know why you made the new server to begin with. Ghosting people without a warning, ignoring people for weeks or months on end without explanation. Yeah. Okay. You care for communication. Right.

Actually stay true to what you say.

☂ Have you ever been forgiven when you knew you shouldn't have been?

Yes, and i'll elaborate on that in the answer below.

☣ Have you ever rp'd with someone you knew for a fact was abusive but tried to give them a chance/to make up your own opinion on the roleplayer? Did they change or did you understand what people were talking about?

Yes. You know EXACTLY the person I'm about to talk about too. I'm sure you can guess who i'm about to say with two guesses. 'Nya' and '[on anon]: Why are you so rude to people? They just want to be your friend'. I'm sure you know who I'm talking about. This person is EXACTLY the reason why super rarely will ever send an anonymous ask. If I do, it's usually because i'm on the wrong blog. I'll always state who I am.

ANYWAYS, I wanted to reach out to them because I wanted to explain to them that some of their habits were bad in RPC. If they actually wanted to interact with people, there were some things they had to change. Unfortunately, they didn't really follow female muses.

As such, I brought in a male muse and they instantly followed when they saw I was interacting with some KHR blogs lol.

My blood pressure SKYROCKETS whenever I think about them. The person had such entitlement. I remember one time they got mad at me for not responding quickly to messages. I was a college student going for my CHEMISTRY degree. I'm busy! I said that and they were like 'okay I forgive you' HAH!!?!?!?!?! FORGIVE ME???? FOR WHAT!? Ooooooo I almost died from the anger right then and there. I got so mad.

What happened? I was like 'hey that's rude to expect me to respond quickly at all hours of the day. RP is a hobby and I do it for fun, it's not a job. THEY FUCKING BLOCKED ME! BLOCKED ME!!!!

After a few days, they unblocked me and was like 'are you ready to RP with me now?' OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THE VITRIOL I WAS FILLED WITH. My ass really went: "Sure! I'm ready to rp with you as long as you're ready to talk about the way you speak to me"

BLOCKED AGAIN.

I think it was for a week that time? 'Are you ready to rp with me now?' OHHH the sheer anger I had. 'Are you going to block me any time I have an issue?' Blocked again.

They came back like, 'oh sorry I blocked you on accident'. I said "An accidental block 3 times in a row?' Blocked.

Phew... the patience I had with them. In that moment I decided they were a lost cause so I blocked them. I wasn't willing to give them any more chances. I wasn't willing to try to forgive them or anything. Not to mention that they wrote an underaged muse and kept trying to smut. When someone called them out on it, 'age is just a number, nya~'

Look. The immense hatred and disgust I STILL feel about this person is real. We lost KHR people over this person because they kept harassing people.

❀ What has made you completely lose your chill?

The one time some anon accused me of being a p\\edo apologist when I'm a victim of such in my younger years. They accused me because I was mutuals with someone who... wrote such content but they didn't tell me WHO. It took me months to figure out who it was and during that time it was CONSTANT anon hate across my many blogs.

I had PANIC attacks over this. I lost my chill at the first anon ask and afterwards it was just panic attacks.

The other time I lost my chill is up above.

✂ A fandom that you feel isn't open and accepting?

Eh... I honestly don't pay attention to too many fandoms, but I recall many years ago the Dan\\ganronpa was apparently stated to not be very open and accepting and was pretty elitist? Inu\\yasha fandom had a lot of cliques. That's all I can think of.

✦ Thoughts on duplicates following you?

I don't mind it at all! I actually get a bit happy sometimes, because it's like AYYYYYYY FELLOW SISTER/BROTHER WHO LIKES THE SAME MUSE!!!! I feel if they follow me, it shows that they can tolerate and accept my portrayal so it's nice to see.

❥ Has someone ever ruined an FC or character for you?

Yes, Daisuke Niwa. In this case, the NAME and the FC have been ruined for me. I will forever associate both the FC and the name with that person who really annoyed me and was the cause for a number of my friends leaving the KHR RPC.

❧ Have you ever been jealous of anyone?

No, I only felt envy. Jealousy is the worry that someone will take what you have. I've only felt envious- wanting something that someone else had. This is primarily for when I first joined the RPC and a lot of people weren't giving Haru a chance. So I was envious of people who had mutuals to write with.

♒ Thoughts on the fandom you're currently rping in?

There were a lot of ups and downs, but I can say that for the most part, I mostly enjoyed my time here rather than hating it. Sure, there were times that I was really hurt, even recently, but-- I don't regret being a part of the RPC. I had a lot of fun here and made some good friends in it.

[allunatory]

@bipbopdepmop Hiya! Hope this doesn't scare you but I'm answering this ask on my minecraft-related art blog LOL

Anyways I have been staring at these asks for the past few days I hope you know that you have a special place in my heart tysm

This is so long, so I'll put it under a readmore- I have a lot to say (And spoilers for anyone who hasn't read Dreams From Within The Cage yet!)

THANK YOU SO MUCH THOUGH!!! AAAA- I'm so glad you enjoyed it!!

AND YES YES!! I have so much I can say.... First of all I have to thank random ambient noise soundtracks for carrying me through the entire fic. Without them, I definitely wouldn't have been able to keep focus for long stretches of time without getting distracted by something.

Fun fact: Fic was not titled until it was time to publish LOL- I was so indecisive

I think my original ambition with the fic when I first started was just writing an Apocalypse AU... but at the same I also wanted to write world-hopping. I was inspired by a comic I had read back when I was in the UTMV (Undertale AU) fandom that explored AUs through way of dreams, and I've been wanting to try my own spin on that for a while so this was the perfect opportunity.

Now the plot wasn't actually supposed to go so crazy, that was mainly me getting extreme brainworms over the concept of an inter-dimensional organization stepping in. Originally, it was going to be mainly exploring the grief that comes with being unable to ever see the one person you feel you connect to most. Having to either accept that fact, or find a way to let go. (Definitely way more depressing, i think)

I was so stuck on the plot for a while, how to wrap it up with everything I'd planned. For a while, I was originally planning to have Grian be the one interrogated, in which he would then hide things from Scar to keep him safe, even going so far as to say they should never talk again. And then the real reason would be revealed when GIGA stepped in.

The way that was set up though, it basically meant all the cool stuff was happening where the readers couldn't see it. So after a long conversation with my good friend @/boxofwasps, I had a stunning revelation on how to swap it around- which is where the fic stands today. I think I remember literally stopping in my tracks and going "Wait. I know how to fix this. I know what I need to do." and Sprinting for my doc to write it down. Imagine me with a cork board and a bunch of red string- that was me putting this fic together

Another fun thing was that, I had so much fun writing the apocalypse world in chapter 1 that I partially wanted to just keep writing that instead of moving on with the plot LOL. I think if I had more time I definitely would have fleshed out some of the AUs they were in, as well as Scar's travels in the waking world and his own lingering trauma

Another fun fact? Me and @/cuteiemonster actually have a whole alternate timeline tree exploring the various ways the plot could have differed if things were just ever so slightly different. There's three main ones, though. Dreams (canon timeline), Nightmares (scar's awful no-good very bad day), and Delusions (grian's awful no-good very bad day) with varying degrees of angst. Please talk to me about them, because I'll likely never write anything about them but I have so many notes.

OKAY AND NOW TO ANSWER THE SECOND PART OF YOUR QUESTION!!!

I'm guessing you're asking about the cage from the hanging cages chapter? I love that scene so much btw there's so much symbolism there.

Every one of the main characters in the fic is stuck in their own cage, in a different way. I think in that chapter in particular, the cages themselves represented the fact that Scar and Grian were both trapped in separate universes. Leaving the cage wasn't an option, there. All they could do was reach across the gap and try to make do that way. Scar fiddling with the bolts of his cage is a show of his motivations and ambitions to escape the confines of his universe to get to Grian, far before he even says it aloud.

Grian stays in his cage because to him, there is no other way out. He's weighed the options, seen the dangers- and even the smallest movements out of line cause the cage to sway. It's just not worth it to try anything different, even if it means being trapped for an eternity...

I AM SO FLATTERED THAT YOU NOT ONLY READ IT BUT RE-READ IT??? HELLO?? I'm sobbing

I am so so so excited to write more for this series, I'm not going to lie. I've been writing notes and gathering ideas for what exactly I want to focus on for a potential sequel. Thanks to help from @/cuteiemonster I have a lot of headcanons for their roommate (yes, roommate) behavior. As well as what they're up to post-fic!

I will say, there is a chance there will be something I put out before the sequel fic- depending on where my motivations lie. I've been thinking about writing the story of Scar's family, and what happened to them. After all, Scar wasn't always alone out there, in the wastelands... Ooh, just thinking about it just makes me excited

The main reason I haven't immediately jumped to write more already is mainly due to school taking up a lot of my time atm! Not to mention I've been getting into a new minecraft server I've been playing in (if you see the art I've been posting to this account LOL), which is basically just every trope I'm obsessed with (Multiversal Purgatory...)

AND!!!! INSPIRATIONS AND STUFF! The anomaly was originally going to be a Creature of uknown origins, but I felt it would be more fun to make it someone with a name and face. Mumbo was a character I've been really interested in writing, so it was a bit of a no-brainer when it came to picking him. Though, it did change things slightly, because the anomaly was originally going to be an irredeemable villain character. But the more I wrote about Mumbo, the more I was like "dude this guy is too wet of a cat to be a villain on purpose" so instead we ended up with the Mumbo in the fic, who's just ever so slightly too casual about world corruption (against his will)

As for universes? I'm going to be honest, pretty much all of the universes in this fic were pretty much straight from my own noggin. I just wrote whatever felt right! There was that Pirate AU with renchanting and navy captain Grian, the Graveyard AU with a groundskeeper Scar and vampire Grian, the Superhero AU with Hotguy and the unnamed villain Grian (who's either named Xelqua or Poultry Man lets be real). A lot of the universes I wrote in-depth about were universes that I would love to write standalone fics of, so this fic itself was partially a collage of various ideas that I may or may not ever write about.

MAN I wrote way more than I was expecting. Tbh I could've written more but I don't want to keep you for TOO long LOL! If you want to talk more about it I'm so chill to chat on discord or through tumblr messaging (im crazy)

Ok one more thing

This snippet from chapter 1 is Lizzie from Empires season 2 okay goodbye

[petitmori]

How do I know if I let you stay? How do I know if we did it your way? You wouldn't take my place Put me away, I'd die lookin' up at your face How do I ever know? Who can I trust? Feelings of emptiness Only love could kill me, God bless

Indie Astarion Ancunín from Baldur's Gate 3. Non-selective and open to AU, OC, and crossovers. Discord given to mutuals only. Personals do not interact.  Rules under readmore. ( Sideblog @illintent )

RULES

First of all, thank you for visiting this page.  Even if you only skim this, I’ll love you forever.  Most of these rules are pretty basic, common sense stuff, but I would really appreciate it if you read them.  I know it’s long, but I’m just trying to make sure no one is offended or uncomfortable.  I’ll try to make this as painless as possible.  Bear with me.  I’ll try to bold the basics.

            — the basics.

I have a few verses to choose from, and I’ll probably place you in the one that will most easily fit with your character’s canon unless otherwise specified.

Astarion isn’t always the most pleasant person. Please know that anything mean said is not a reflection of the mun’s feelings.  IC =/= OOC.

Don’t god-mod.

OC and Au friendly, but please have an about page so I can gauge whether our characters will be able to interact.

Memes and opens are free game – anyone can send one or respond to one.  However, I may not respond for some reason or another: it may be in violation of one of my other rules, or due to external factors.  If you’re worried that I missed something, feel free to come to me about it, but please don’t constantly badger me for replies.  It’s rude.

I reserve the right to refuse to roleplay, especially if I’m uncomfortable.

DO NOT under any circumstances try to bring me into out of character drama.  If you have a problem with me, contact me privately or just unfollow.  Vague blogging, callout posts and the like are annoying, and I ask that you would tag them.  This is something I will unfollow over if I so please.

            — on selectivity. 

I will be selective with my threads and who I interact with.  I would love to interact with everyone, but I’m very busy with school and other blogs, and I don’t want to overload myself.  If this bothers you, feel free to unfollow.  If you have any questions about whether I have time, feel free to jump into my ask.

Also, I am far more likely to RP with mutuals. That’s not to say I won’t RP with those I don’t follow or those who won’t follow me, there may be exceptions. But it is far more likely.  That being said: if I follow you, I want to write with you.  Probably a lot. I’m just too shy to say anything because I’m a weenie pissbaby.

Starter calls, unless otherwise specified, are for mutuals only.

            — on content.

I’m 20+, so mature content is cool with me.   NSFW and triggering content will be present on this blog, but it will also be tagged in the following manner: n.s.f.w., tw:

As for smut: first of all, I will not smut with anyone under the age of 18.  Don’t ask me to; the answer will be no.  And just in general, don’t come to me looking for smut.  I’m not terribly good at writing it, so it’s very unlikely that it will occur on this blog.  I need to be pretty comfortable with someone to smut with them.  If by some miracle a thread is looking like it’s going to get smutty, feel free to hop into my ask and talk to me about it.  We’ll figure something out.

In relation to that, please do not send me overtly sexual memes if we have not interacted.  Kissing memes are fine, but I tend to get uncomfortable with anything beyond that.  Please respect this.

            — on replies.

I’m an adaptive roleplayer, meaning I’ll likely respond in a manner similar to yours.  If you format, I’ll format.  If you don’t, I won’t.  That sort of thing.  I also try to match length with my replies, but some days I struggle.  If you’re ever unhappy with the quality or length of a reply, please let me know and I’ll do my best to fix it.

I don’t always get to things right away.  I’m notorious for avoiding drafts, and especially right now, I’m pretty busy with schoolwork.  However, sometimes I’ll reply at the speed of light.  It’s really varied, and I’m sorry about that.

Sometimes, I’ll drop things that’ve been in my drafts for too long, or things that I feel aren’t going anywhere.  If you think I’ve dropped/missed/lost something that you wish to continue, come to me politely and we can talk about it.

            — on shipping.

I’m admittedly kind of a ship-whore.  If there are sparks, I likely ship it.  I ship Astarion/Chemistry, but again, it’s rather unlikely that Astarion will engage in a sexual or even a romantic relationship.  Them’s the breaks.  BroTPs are great though.  Also, I’m only human: I sometimes play favorites with my ships.  Sorry.

Please please please DO NOT force a ship on me.  It makes me extremely uncomfortable, and I will not hesitate to unfollow or even block you.  I will try to politely let you know if I feel that our characters do/do not have chemistry.

            — on credit.

Most icons, art and edits are made by myself, and are usually tagged as #my art or #my edits. Otherwise, I do not own anything!

          — on the mun.

My name is Élise, I’m 20+, living in Midwest America, EST.  Feel free to contact me via ask at any time. I love talking to you guys! Skype/discord is available to mutuals upon request – again, I reserve the right to refuse to give these for whatever reason.  I have no triggers, so as long as you talk to me prior to introducing something triggering to a thread, I’ll be cool with it. Just talk to me about it beforehand and I should be fine, but if I’m not feeling it, please respect that.

That’s about it.  Thanks so much for reading these.  Smooches! <3

[hearts-hunger]

Please don't be offended by this as it is a coming from genuine curiosity. Why would you want to follow a religion or a church that has discriminated, marginalized, and brought so many different groups of people so much pain? I'm way more than perfectly fine with people finding solace in God, so that has nothing to do with it at all, i promise. I just can't justify supporting a church that has done so many horrible things to people. Again, not trying to offend at all. I don't want this question to be misconstrued as me trying to be judgemental at all I'm just really curious. (Also, this is a different anon than the one you just got telling you not to talk about it. I think the way that person came at you was being really rude and if you want to talk about your faith you are way more than welcome to as it is your blog and space to do with as you please.)

first off, thank you for your open and genuine tone - i appreciate that this ask is coming from a place of curiosity and honest discourse. i'm more than happy to have these kinds of conversations in a civil and respectful way! i put my answer under a readmore, because it got kind of long, but i hope it answers your question, or at least offers some food for thought :)

so, alright. i'd first like to say that i won't deny that there have been horrible, awful things done in the name of the church and by its members. i completely and wholeheartedly condemn those actions and the people who did them. they will have to stand before god in judgement one day and explain why they used his name and his house to hurt his people, and he is going to deal with them with perfect justice.

the thing is, though, that in any group of humans (religious or not) there will be things done that hurt people. that's just the nature of sin. people hurt other people, and there's no two ways around it. the catholic church is not exempt from this, unfortunately - sin abounds everywhere, and so sin is inevitably in the church. but if i stopped being a part of groups that had hurt people, i wouldn't be a part of any group ever.

the catholic church as a political/social institution is riddled with the disease of sin, and this is because people are riddled with the disease of sin. it breaks my heart and it breaks the heart of jesus when the institution of the catholic church hurts people, i promise you this.

but, despite the disease of sin, the gospel lives and triumphs. in jesus there is life and light, and no darkness of sin can ever overcome that light. because jesus dwells in the catholic church (and in other christian churches, but here we'll just stick with the catholic church), the darkness cannot overcome the church completely. sometimes, when the people of the church hurt others, it seems like the darkness has snuffed out the light out completely. but jesus promised that the gates of hell would not prevail against the church (matthew 16:18). which means that no matter how many sinful things the people in the church do, the church in itself, as the physical dwelling of god, remains steadfast in truth and goodness.

i believe the gospel of jesus christ lives and breathes in the catholic church. the good news of the steadfast love, goodness, and mercy of god in the person of jesus finds its home in the catholic church. the people of the church - priests, bishops, fellow churchgoers - don't always follow the gospel - there's that pesky sin nature. but just because some people (or even many) don't live like jesus, that doesn't mean that the inherent truth of the gospel does not live in the catholic church.

i follow the catholic church because i believe it is the home of the true and living god, the god who created me and loves me in spite of how many times i've cursed his name and walked away from him in pride and stubbornness. i am a part of the catholic church because we celebrate the triumph of love over sin and death every single day in the sacrifice of the mass. i am a part of the church because jesus found me when i was furthest from him and took my hand and rejoiced over me with singing and thankful praise to his father, and then brought me home to the church where the rest of my spiritual family was busy getting ready for my homecoming party.

in short - and thank goodness, because i've made this answer pretty long 😉 - i'm catholic because i believe that despite the sin in the church, jesus still lives there, and i want to be where he is. i know jesus is calling me (and all other catholics!) to be living proof that the catholic church can be what he wants it to be and in fact commands it to be, what it will be when everything in creation is perfected and sin is gone forever and love has stood on the neck of hatred and lopped off its ugly head. it's my prayer that i can be at least one catholic that shows that love endures there, and it's my privilege to try and answer your questions with the truth as best as i can. ❤️

[jujulebee]

🤩😍🙀LETS FUCKIN GOOO??? 😭😭jules like totes helped me figure out how 2 even make one of these things 🥴️🥴️🥴️ so im supes excited!!! 😜😍🥰️

honey b is HERE bayBEEEEE 😘💕

((RULES AND OOC UNDER THE READMORE, IF YOU THINK YOU HAVE ALREADY READ THEM, READ THEM AGAIN))

((another blog by me, bunny, the person who came out of nowhere swinging SEMI-LUKEWARM

honey will randomly blip out of existence with my motivation and energy levels! This does NOT mean that she wouldn't be communicating with your OCs during this time. I know it sucks to pilot an npc but please don't just assume honey is ignoring your oc, i seriously do not have the spoons to be as actively extroverted as her. i am an introvert.

theres going to be So much eyestrain on this blog, like to the point that almost every post would have an eyestrain tag, so please keep that in mind! i WILL tag flashing gifs, since i also have issues with flashing images, but if i dont clock something that you need tagged as flashing please Politely let me know, dont be a cunt id be happy to do it

gifs are tagged "gif" queue tag is "supes cute" food stuff is "yummy stuff" nails are "perfectly painted" art tag is "artsy shit" selfie tag is "super cute selfie" makeup is "looks that kill" clothes are under "wardrobe" silly shirts are under "shirts for jules"

my name is bunny, im 25+, i am not a social person and do not have the energy to talk to a lot of people at once, so either have patience or don't bother

i have several other blogs im not active on, but im occasionally on null

do not send me IMs in character, i will accept them as ooc if you don't have my discord, otherwise dont, likewise, please assume my IMs are not ic

do not leave Replies on my posts, i have stated this multiple times, i don't notice them in the deluge of activity notifications i receive, if you want to have a conversation on a post i have made reblog the post

youre free to ask for my discord but i dont guarantee that ill talk to you regularly, i am not a talkative person

im not fairly picky with who i follow and will block freely and without hesitation. im here to curate my ideal experience, not save the feelings of a stranger. 

while i understand that ic=/=ooc if your character is transphobic or racist in any way please dont interact, actually

honey wouldn’t want to talk to you anyway

this page does not accept magic anons

please do not godmod to try and fix honeys issues, i dont want that, genuinely

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

honey b azrael was born august 6th, 1998

she’s bi-racial korean, born in texas

she is 4'8" (her boots typically put her at at least 5’), approx 240 lbs

honey was embraced on january 23rd of 2021

honey's status as a human is well-maintained and has not revealed publicly that she is a vampire

honey is a thinblood with the following: lifelike, vampiric resilience, discipline affinity, day drinker, long bond, prey exclusion: children, vitae dependency, baby teeth

Strength: 3/5 Dexterity: 2/5 Stamina: 3/5 Charisma: 4/5 Manipulation: 2/5 Composure: 3/5 Intelligence: 2/5 Wits: 2/5 Resolve: 1/5

Humanity: 9/10

honey is a party girl and there will be mentions of drug/alcohol use and i will tag them as “drug mention” or “alcohol mention” if mentioned

nsfw content will be tagged as “nsfw //”

honey is pansexual and romantically committed to cherry, juan and romantically interested in alessio, and in general sexually available

honey is NOT doing okay, no matter what she tells you, any and all trauma she has endured will not be talked about at length unless there are warnings put in place in the tags, always assume dead dove do not eat policy

honeys best friend circle consists of dolls, sam and jules

she loves making friends and talking to people, though, so feel free to shoot her a message! she WILL talk to you

if your character is rude or just generally mean for no real reason (there are funny exceptions to this rule) honey will not want to speak with you and will probably unfollow you

ooc follows are fine, if i dont interact with your character much ill probably end up unfollowing, though

will add more if i can think of anything

[twistedtavern]

As a writer, do you have any scrapped concepts for twst things? Either original works or old plot points for the self aware au?

Oh god. Let me tell you about the scrapped concepts/processes. Very fucking long so its all under a readmore

~💀😍⚰️The cursefic⚰️😍💀~

My first ever twst concept was scrapped, actually. I had it before I even began this blog. Its influence can be seen in the self aware au if you squint and it was actually the basis for my RSA au. But, essentially, it boils down to a spell being put on Yuu by the RSA housewardens that makes everyone at NRC fall in love with them, but it eventually turns them all yandere and makes them all start killing each other to have Yuu to themselves. Yes, my first thought when I learned enough about twst to make anything was "okay, but what if they all killed each other?" Spoiler; Rook and Leona were the final survivors and had the largest kill count, but ended up being each others demise (Rook was eaten alive and Leona bled out from an arrow wound). But, when it comes to Yuu, they DID survive NRC and were taken to RSA, but Neige had spent enough time with them to go insane and poison the last remaining people involved, including Yuu and himself. The intention of the spell put on Yuu varies between versions, but originally all the RSA housewardens were evil and the mass murder was fully premeditated, but in later versions it was intended and cast as a blessing that got corrupted by only two of them. Also, they were the reason Yuu got brought to Wonderland in the first place. Man, that fic was cringe.

~⚔️🐎✨Shining Wonderland✨🐎⚔️~

BUT, from the ashes of the cursefic rose Shining Wonderland, where I basically just took the RSA I made for that first fic and fleshed it out with a lot less murder. Here's some of the changes I made to the original housewardens during the transition from fic to full blown au

Name changes:

Allister -> Archer

Leandre -> Hop

Zeroh, a second-year student in Prideguarde, was the original housewarden of the dorm. I decided that since his inspiration was a villain and in no way affiliated with Mufasa, that wouldn't work and I quite literally invented Ndege on the fly (pun intended) while typing up the dorm leader post.

~❤️📱👁️Self Aware Au👁️📱❤️~

Hoo lord. There are quite a few very spoilery ones that I will not be sharing, but scrapped Malleus concepts will take a whole category of their own. In the meantime, take some others

Crowley being a villain in the afterstory is no longer a thing

Kalim's hatred curse and its pertaining afterstory arc being scrapped

The 4 times Kalim has had a personality rework

Rook originally was just pure evil. He didn't end up switching around back to good once loved on a little, and he was just generally very hostile towards the player

Scrapped scene in the Jamil spinoff where the player and Jamil go to the store to shop for picnic food ingredients

For a time, Leona was the canon and ONLY love interest for the player (aside from Rook) in the afterstory. He even got his own key role in the ending where he sort of... reverse overblots? As a hero instead of a villain to save the player from Malleus.

It is no longer the boys who defeat Malleus in the end

Various reworked death scenes

Lilia, Silver, and Sebek were originally a part of the first protection squad before being repurposed

Leona was once going to be burned alive trying to guide the player back to the mirror chamber

Idia is no longer horny.

When first drafting the Pomefiore arc, Rook was supposed to awaken during Chapter 5 and go insane, subsequently awakening Vil through his shenanigans

Jack was going to be mindbroken by Malleus into essentially an overgrown attack dog

The player was going to find Riddle and Trey holed up in the shack by the river, and at that point Riddle was too incoherent and tangled in thorns to be saved. Trey stayed there with him for the rest of the kidnapping arc and neither are seen again until the afterstory. Both now have more active roles in the story

As well as other stuff I can't remember or tell at the moment.

And now, guys, gals, and other assorted bad bitches, it's time for the MALLEUS SPECIFIC BONUS ROUND

As part of the ending for the afterstory, Malleus was going to take the player into the void and make them an angel by force, absolutely tearing them up in the process and shattering the glass to make wings for them. This concept is reworked into something MUCH cooler >:))))

He used to love the player lmao

His old plan had been to traumatize them to the point of being easy to mentally break and essentially turn into a mindless pet for warmth. It was as weird as it sounds

Tsunotarou was originally going to have a fun-loving, overtly childlike personality before his rework

This version of Tsunotarou had been SO annoying to every other character to where he was testing even Kalim's nerves

Recovering his memories as Malleus would have disturbed Tsunotarou to the point of pushing those experiences onto a completely separate alter ego/split personality

I think his very first concept was that he was connected to the player via dreams since they were a small child, and basically acted as their "imaginary" friend throughout their life, leading them to actively seek out characters that are similar in aesthetic to him, which led them right to Twisted Wonderland. This was still in the era where he was in love with them, so that is a fat fucking YIKES from me. You can see why I tossed this out the MINUTE I realized what the implications were 😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬

All the shit I made that was somewhere along the lines of "Malleus manhandled the script to make himself a part of the game/housewarden/a third year/a student/prince/all of the above" ranging from 'he's just a first year who found out how to fuck with the game' to he was just straight up known by NOBODY at Night Raven and he isn't even a student to begin with, much less intended to be in the game. But then it wouldn't make any sense as to how he was literally half of the game's marketing, so he had to be an actual third year housewarden and intended to be in the game.

Im tired. Thats all for now

[butchsophiewalten]

pls give us the autistic headanons I have a chronic illness called projecting and if my faves aren't like me I die

Okay so! I actually do have like. extremely specific ideas about the way I think these characters experience autism, but something that permeates through all of them is my thinking that, because of the time period, they'd likely go most of/their entire lives undiagnosed (and maybe not even self-diagnosed). Otherwise I think I will have to split them up into paragraphs, which i will be putting under a readmore because this got very long !

Jenny- I'm starting with Jenny actually because I feel like no appreciates autistic Jenny hcs. I think she experiences echolalia (specifically as in, repeating the last few words of a sentence that has been spoken to you before responding, as a way to process what was said) and that she has a LOT of trouble with volume control. I also think she has a difficult time just, phrasing sentences? Similarly to how autistic people sometimes speak very formally because of the way their brains process speech and vocabulary, except her vocabulary isn't formal, it's just very particular.

She was also (canonically!) a bit of a 'weirdgirl' rowdy-type kid (digs in mud plays with worms) when she was little, and I think for that she was pretty ostracized by her peers, who considered her annoying. And I think as a teenager she learned to like, massively overcorrect for it, and became a huge wallflower who kept her head down and never opened up to people and had very little friends, and absolutely no close friends (i also imagine like, late 60s early 70s internalized homophobia compounding this. just in a lot of ways she felt like the way she was was unacceptable and that she needed to try and suppress herself as much as possible.) And eventually she grew out of it, but i think she still has a problem with looking too far into/being too vigilant about social cues, which is something she does as a self-defensive mechanism, so she can back off when she thinks people are getting annoyed with her.

I've talked about it before on my blog but I really love the idea of Jenny like. connecting with other queer people in her early adulthood. and those relationships giving her like a comfortable, reliable social network and a sense of self-assurance. So as a 26 year old woman I think she's finally settled into a happy middle-ground between being able to mask as a means of self-preservation, but also being confident in herself and not feeling the need to mask in every social situation all of the time.

Jack- Most of my Jack Walten autism headcanons come from my friend Samsa @pespillo, i love the idea that he has shaky, fidgety hands, and that instead of being adverse to eye contact, he's too direct with it and maintains it for too long, and ends up accidentally making people uncomfortable. In terms of my personal headcanons, i think he gets overwhelmed by loud/intrusive noises and bright colors relatively easily, but that instead of making him uncomfortable or nervous, it makes him extremely frustrated, which is where he gets the reputation of having a bad temper.

Which is where i also get the idea that him and Jenny wouldn't get along because of their conflicting neurotypes, Jenny's just too loud and sporadic and excitable, it would really get on his nerves. I remember Martin also mentioning in the discord server that Jack "wouldn't get Jenny's jokes" which stands out to me because Martin generally considers Jack to be like a funny guy who jokes around a lot, and the idea of there just being like a complete mutual (autism-related) misunderstanding between him and Jenny where they just do not get eachother is hilarious to me.

Susan- I really like the idea of Susan having both autism and ADHD, but I don't have any personal experience having ADHD, so I have far fewer extremely specific 'im-projecting-this-onto-her' kinda headcanons for that. I feel like of anyone Susan's the most likely to have gotten a diagnosis, or at least to have figured out on her own that she has some kind of neurological condition, but I don't think she would be able to identify the differences between her symptoms of ADHD and her symptoms of autism (and in some ways neither can I. there's a few things i imagine for her that could be caused by either) especially considering there's already so much overlap between the two.

For specific things, I think engineering is like a lifelong special interest of hers, and she could talk about it for a very long time if given the opportunity. I think the BSI tech support audio logs function for her both as a log of the work she's doing with BSI and as an excuse to infodump about the engineering work she's passionate about. I also think she stims a lot by playing with her hair, and that's really the only reason she keeps it long. Otherwise it's actually pretty troublesome for her since she has to tie it up to keep it from getting caught in the machinery.

Martin's mentioned in the discord server that's she's very blunt, in like an honest-to-a-fault kinda way. She has a tendency to blurt things out to people that end up coming across as really rude, though Martin insists that shes not mean, which is important to me. She also seems pretty deadpan whenever she's not talking about her lifelong passion of engineering, and i like imagining that all of that is autism-related.

Sophie- Ok autistic Sophie is like a classic at this point. Like this is a very widely shared headcanon which I'm appreciative of honestly its nice :) I like the idea that she's generally pretty deadpan and soft-spoken, and I imagine her being pretty low-empathy because I'm. projecting that onto her. I feel like she both masks all of the time and doesn't really mask at all, because she's only ever noticed certain tendencies that seem to make people uncomfortable and tried to mask them, but she doesn't really think to do things like inject emotion into her voice because she doesn't really notice that she's deadpan otherwise. Its like, she doesn't really know what masking is and how to either start or stop doing it. She probably knows that there's something that makes her 'weird," but i doubt she attributes it to autism. I can imagine her rationalizing it as either something her pills are doing, or as a symptom of whatever it specifically is that she's being medicated for.

Random specific things, I think horror is a big special interest for her, I think she bounces her leg a lot and, in private, flaps her hands and rocks back & forth. I think whenever her and Jenny started sleeping in the same bed together, sleeping became a lot easier for her, and she may or may not have connected that part of the reason for that the sensation of being held by Jenny, like the pressure of it and the warmth of her body heat, is really comforting to her.

I also feel like her temperament irt autism is a lot like Jack's, and in that she does actually end up clashing with Jenny a bit. I particularly imagine Jenny getting panicked or nervous when she's seeking out social cues from Sophie to know she's not annoying her, and isn't getting any because Sophie just. doesnt do that. Like, Jenny just isnt used to spending time with other autistic people and there's a huge learning curve for it that she couldn't have expected. Also Sophie just getting overwhelmed with Jenny for being too loud or too physically affectionate. But they're working it out because they love eachother :)

[lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks]

Feeling a lot better today after that vent post, I'm gonna talk about some stuff now, I'll be mentioning suicide, anger issues and trauma

I know I can be intense sometimes when I'm angry, and I hope that's not too upsetting to people (I do try to tw tag appropriately)

this blog is just one of my only outlets, and anger is an emotion I struggle with because my anger is a lot more intense in person and I can't vent to people without them getting kinda rattled (I don't take it out on people it's just very confronting to watch)

I wasn't very good at expressing anger as a kid, and often got laughed at by my family when I was angry, my dad would also try to interrupt my rants by making me laugh, it was a very effective way to defuse me, but all it did was make everything internal, it was the worst thing my parents could have done for me at a time when I was going through some truly traumatic bullying at school

as a result I wouldn't get outwardly angry a lot, but when I did I ended up screaming at whoever was upsetting me, usually my brother, it wasn't healthy

now after an especially terrible break up with a long time friend who very much wronged me, I got horrifically (and justifiably) furious with them, and that seemed to unlock a floodgate

now when I get angry I have a lot of trouble coping because I'm not used to the intensity of it, and I can't vent to my family without upsetting them (and my healing shouldn't come at the detriment of the people around me) but I also need to let it out somewhere, and my therapist has been encouraging me to find a new way to do it

so this blog is really my only outlet at the moment, but I also don't want to upset people here either

I always try to tw tag them, but I should probably put an indicator at the top of the post that it's gonna be ranty, like I did with my last one, and maybe start shifting it under a readmore

thanks for sticking with me while I learn to process these things, and thank you to the people who ask if I'm okay, I'm usually feeling a lot better after a rant post

and if anyone else struggles with anger, just know that it's okay to let it out, you need to let it out, bottling it up will bite you in the ass a lot later in life, it can be hard to find a way to do it without hurting or scaring people around you, but it's so important to helping you heal

I also find screaming helps a lot, when my friend and I drove out to a deserted beach on halloween night to scream at the ocean, we screamed about a lot of things, things that happened to us, people who wronged us, it was an amazing outlet, but unfortunately something I don't always have access to

yesterday was especially horrific for me considering my recent mental health struggles, (I'd just gotten out of a month long stay at a mental health unit when I came back from hiatus) I was very lucky to have walked away okay, but the event reminded me that choosing to live isn't a guarantee, and I'm still more than capable of dying by someone else's hand, I value life so much more after being so close to taking it from myself, and the idea that I could have died yesterday because of someone else's actions terrifies me

but it also made me realise just how much I do value my life now, and it's really nice to know all the work I've put into myself has been worth it

and if anyone wants me to use any specific tw tags, I am more than happy to do that

thanks for reading, I hope you all have a good day ❤️

[sleepy-achilles]

Hi. I feel like after reading your Ric Flair posts, I would love to hear your input on this, as I feel the need to discuss it with you. Hulk Ho(e)gan's long, long line of lies and deception. I'll try to keep this short, but I'm afraid this is going to be a longer ask, and for that, I sincerely apologize.

Now, this is no secret, we all know this by this point in time. If there happens to be someone in this world who doesn't know this, they are either lying their ass off and defending Hulk for whatever reasoning, children, naïve, or just fucking stupid, to put it bluntly.

Ho(e)gan is a continuous liar. It seems to be all that this man ever really does. He's lied about so much shit, it is astounding.

Like how he says he discovered Undertaker while he was in a movie called Suburban Commando with him, and that he was the one who brought him to Vince McMahon (which isn't true. Paul Heyman was the guy who discovered Undertaker while he was in WCW and those stupid fucking idiots told him that he wouldn't be able to make money and put asses in seats.)

He's lied about how The Undertaker and The Rock injured him (which did NOT happen. He was already injured before the matches, he just pinned it on the fucking Undertaker and The Rock because he was just so butthurt that The Undertaker and The Rock were just taking the world by storm, and God forbid anybody else but the Hulkster have the attention)

He's lied about Elvis Presley being a fan of his (which was impossible, seeing as Elvis was long dead and gone when Hulk rose to fame and popularity)

He's lied about outdrinking John Belushi (which also is impossible, seeing as John was also deceased at the time of Hulk Hogan's peak. And even if Hulk and John were ever able to hang out sometime before his death, which I seriously highly doubt, Hulk sure as FUCK did not outdrink John Belushi. If he had, I'm sure he'd be 6 feet under with him rn)

He has even lied about giving a British kid from Make-A-Wish tickets to Summerslam 1992, (I think it was 1992, please correct me if I am wrong. It was either 1992 or 1993) when he wasn't even fucking there. Matter of fact, it wasn't even him who gave the kid the tickets, I believe it was Goldberg. He even goes as far as making a fucking song about it in an atrocious album called "Hulk Rules" the song's name being "Hulkster in Heaven" (which is fucking deplorable & disgusting of him to do that. How fucking dare you.)

It seriously makes me beg the question. Why? Why is Hulk so quick to lie about so many things? Why does he feel the need to lie about everything? Why does he feel that it's necessary to tell stories that can be easily disproved? Hell, you wouldn't even need to do that much research in order to debunk this shit. Why? He doesn't need to do that! he's Hulk fucking Hogan, for fucks sake! He's one of the most iconic wrestlers of all time! (for whatever reasoning. Call me rude, but from what I've seen, his wrestling promos and moves are uh... Questionable, to say the least.) But point being, he doesn't need to do this.

Oh, but he does, doesn't he? because he's gotta stay relevant somehow. So, what's a few tall tales gonna hurt, huh?

A lot. That's who. I swear, it's almost as if he lives in some fantasy land with some of these lies. That's probably due to all the concussions, most likely.

No need to apologise for it being long.

I'll even do a readmore to save people's feeds

I'm not one to shy away from my opinions especially on this blog. I've made it clear from day one that I hate hogan.

I hate his wrestling, I hate his attitude, his look and his voice.

However, I didn't know about all the shit he put on undertaker. One would think he just didn't like taker.

The anger I had towards this guy as a kid was huge. I hated him for screwing Shawn michaels over. For those who don't know, him and shawn were set for 3 (maybe more) matches where Shawn would be able to win one. He asked for shawn to be the heel so shawn delivered. But he backed out after one of shawns promos, thought it was disrespectful and he was taking the piss or something. You asked for heel shawn, you got heel shawn. Shawn over selling was beautiful and perfect. Hogan deserved every bit of that. Piper didn't deserve the kick he got, but he was defending hogan at the time so I get why it happened.

I also hate hogan because of the fact he's a racist. At one of the raw celebration shows it was advertised that shawn would take part in the speech with hogan, Austin and mick I believe. Shawn refused. He stood by hunter the entire time. You can even see Hunter and Shawn giving him dirty looks. Also shawn disappeared from the ring celebration. Like I can never see him in the ring. Weird but not relevant. Hunter bascially demanded hogan apologise before coming back. Hogan did not. So yeah. Shitty.

Also my poor child eyes accidentally ended up seeing his porno when I was trying to do research on him for a school project. It was about celebrities and the media. I actually got to do some research into the mental health issues of wrestlers like the Rock and well physical health issues of mick foley. Which was fun. But yeah, my teacher told me to do a part on hogan because he was a 'big' wrestler in his eyes. I didn't want to. Wish I hadn't. Traumatised for life now. Shout out to my so called friend who sent me it saying it was a official article on hogan's personal life. (Guess they weren't really wrong)

But anyways, this is not a hogan or flair friendly blog. I will 100% shit talk them because they deserve it. I'm tired of people brushing it off or defending them just because they were a 'big part of wwf'. To those people maybe. The new generation, hart, diesel, shawn, sid, sunny (sadly), sable, etc you get my drift, all of those 90s lot. They were a big part of wwf and wwe. Not those old hags.

Hogan is not it. And the fact the list of shitty stuff about him gets longer, I'm wondering why he's a wwe hall of famer and why people like chyna aren't.

We all know she deserves it a hell of a lot more. So what she did porn? I believe that's the reason on twitter. Vince didn't want kids searching her up and finding it or something. Well I didn't want to find hogan's porn but I did anyways, and yet he's in your hall of fame. Sort it.

Idk why I'm addressing vince. Not like its his company anymore.

Nah I just checked the list. Donald trumps still in the hall of fame.

Jesus christ.

I have no faith sometimes.

[heatherthetiredwriter]

Today was an interesting day, to say the least. Not that this is a matter to which any of you should know, but I feel inclined to share, for reasons unknown to me. I shouldn't expect anyone to read through the entire thing, but this is my Tumblr blog, so here it goes.

Unfortunately, you shan't be able to understand a word I'll say because I can only talk like Anne Shirley today and I rather like it.

:readmore: :readmore:

I awoke this morning, the sun streaming through the window above me. I was so asleep and tired still, yet I woke with a strange hint of restfulness that I have not known for months now. I spared no time to dress or even put on my glasses. I only ate a piece of homemade bread and left. I drove along, listening to a classical rendition of "My Favorite Things" from the Sound of Music, which I great enjoyed. The day was beautiful from there. The birds kept their singing throughout the day, even till twilight. I presume I've heard more morning doves today than I have in the past few years. The wrens and Robbins were about today. The sun shine brightly in a clear blue sky, puffy clouds sprinkled across it's beautiful expanse. The wind danced across the land, rustling through the trees and flowers that dotted the long road. It's touch was crisp and refreshing, like a drink of water on a hot day. It carried upon it the most delicate scent of the first budding roses and tulips. The Earth itself seemed to be bursting for joy, for every corner was brimming with the signs of life. I think I never have, and will likely never again, seen leaves so bright and green. I felt that if I breathed in hard enough, I could have just been filled with their life too. Across the yard, along the drive way, tiny little daisy's pepped out of the grass. Even the long dead sticks and leaves looked lively and beautiful.

I wanted to be happy. So dreadfully so. It was the kind of day that made you wish you were a shepherd boy in the Alps, or a peasant girl from long ago, dancing barefoot in the grass. I could see merry Centaurs and Fawns and Fairies, for if there was ever a day for them to exist, it was today.

Yet I couldn't. My heart aches because I longed to be happy. But I feel as if I can't. Alarmingly, I feel nothing. I can appreciate the world's beauty, but it doesn't fill me with life, nor give me a smile under rosey cheeks.

In truth, though I enjoyed how fantastically beautiful this earth was today, I couldn't help but wish that today had been a gloomy day. That it had been rainy, with dark, low-hanging clouds covering the sky. That the wind had been dry and unfriendly. That the birds wouldn't sing. Maybe then I could cry like I wish too. But I think even then I couldn't. I fear I've run out of tears to cry. So I shall just be numb.

I did try my hardest. If not for me, for I have discovered that I really could care less, then for the people that love me. For I love them, and I could never bear to hurt them. For each and every action I did today, I did it for one of you. You know who you are, for I hold you very dearly to my heart. For you I rose this morning, for you I ate a breakfast, a lunch, and a dinner. For you I took my medicine. For you I drank water, took a shower, took a nap, and cared for my face. For you I drank a hot tea, so that I might sleep well tonight. For you, I spent the day picking flowers, making a blanket, and listening to the few books that still give me comfort.

And do those things I did. I think you should be rather proud of me. Not just last week I was surviving on three apples a day. But today for breakfast I had two English muffins with cheese and sausage, with fried potatoes and berries, bananas, grapes and all sorts of nuts. And for lunch I had a large potato, toped with cheese and chili and everything you can imagine on the top. Importantly I had lots of kale. Oh please say you are proud of me for that one. I know I need the kale for my stomach to heal, but I do detest is so. However, maybe it was due to my numbness, but today I didn't mind it so much. I had it twice even. One might think that I liked it. Oh and for dinner I had it again, which really should make my mother happy. She is terribly worried about me, I know.

I started making a blanket you know. I have gone through thirty-two yards of yarn so far and it seems as if I have barely started. The work is boring and repetitive, yet something about it helped steady me today. And I can't help but wonder what would have happened had I not begun work on the blanket.

But most of all, I surprisingly talked to you, my beloved. I love to talk to you, that's true, but I so often ignore you because I cannot bring myself to do anything. So this action surprised even I.

Now, my tea is finished. I feel warm inside and my eyes are tired. My soul is tired. I shall drift away into a sleep, and perhaps, in my dreams, I shall cry.