#I posted it on snapchat cause I was losing my shit and my sister replies “I have a mighty need for that I didn't know you liked trigun”

[pierswife]

Older sibling lore unlocked: just found out my older sister also likes Trigun

[biblee16]

Zombies and Wedding Dresses

Fluff, zombie apocalypse AU, fiction, angst, violence etc.

Cameo: Jeon Jungkook

Warning: swearing

Lee Know x reader

A/N: hey guys so first of all the second part of my fanfic "A small mistake" is coming soon, anddd again it's my first time writing a fanfic so please forgive me if it's stupid or something lol.

So, today was the day. It was finally your sister Momo's wedding, you were so happy fo her.

There was so much chaos in the bride's dressing room all the bridesmaids were squeaking out of excitement except for you, you were pretty chill, I mean obviously you were excited for your sister getting married but ah you dint really like weddings alot, but you were just a tiny bit excited today though. (you'll know why ;) )

Your mom gasped as soon as she saw Momo while entering the room. You could see her tearing up already, and Momo being as cute as she is just giggled shyly. You smiled looking at them while your best friend nudges you from the side and says

"I bet today you're gonna have fun too".

And you just blush and look away and reply with a "Shut up". She just winks and goes back to taking pictures with the other bridesmaids, you smile and shake your head.

You go and sit beside your sister and say "You look so pretty, I bet the groom is gonna swoon after looking at you". Momo just giggles shyly and says "Thank you".

This is exactly what Momo was wearing with the same hairstyle which is a bun ↓

You and the other bridesmaids were wearing dresses with open hair, beach waves at the bottom and a little head accessory pinned on the side of your head.

This is the dress ↓

You had to admit that everyone looked so beautiful today, even you.

While the chattering in the bride's dressing room was going on, two guys excused themselves and entered the room. One of them was "him". Lee Know. Both of you were good friends and you had a huge crush on him, and so did he. Both of you knew about it, but never really confessed to each other. Maybe it was just perfect like this.

Anyways, he entered with his friend Jeongin, and you smiled at both of them, and they smiled back cause y'all knew each other. They said that its time. You saw your sister getting nervous and gave her a comforting side hug and said,

"It's alright, it's all gonna be okay, you remember that silly practice we had right?"

Momo took a deep breath and nodded with a smile. Your dad was standing near the door frame and you could see the pride and happiness in his eyes. You definitely knew that he had cried. He never does, but today was his eldest daughter's wedding after all.

You looked at Minho (aka Lee Know if you dint know lol) and he was already staring at you, your friend nudged you and you whispered "Stop it" in a silly way. You were so shy that your ears started turning red and you tried to hide them by fixing your hair. Minho looked so handsome, he looked like a man. He was wearing a black suit with a white formal shirt tucked inside his formal black pants with formal black shoes, but what caught your eyes was the way he had tucked a handkerchief in his collar, it was tucked in a way where it formed frills and hung down. Shit you were so attracted to that. He knew you would like it. OH GOD THIS MAN WAS GONNA BE THE DEATH OF YOU.

Well, they obviously had to leave to go do their own thing like small arrangements and teasing the groom of course.

Your mom went and stood outside, you and the bridesmaids including you followed behind. Y'all went and stood exactly at the entrance of the aisle while the groomsmen were standing at the end of the aisle, not exactly close to the groom though. You made eye contact with Minho and he did too.

Soft music started playing and the doors opened, your sister started walking up the aisle with your father, the groom couldn't stop smiling of course.

~ Timeskip ~

After the bride and groom exchanged their vows, you went back to your bestie who was going to meet her boyfriend, he was one of the groomsmen.

There was Chan, Hyunjin, Seungmin, Minho, Jeongin, Han, Felix, Changbin and your bestie's boyfriend. You had to admit that they were looking so handsome. You smiled and greeted all of them and they greeted you back. You could see that Seungmin was nudging Minho from the side and Minho just stamped his foot while smiling at you. You just mouthed a little ouch while looking at Minho and let out a small giggle.

Obviously your bestie ditched you and went off with her boyfriend. All the other boys went off leaving you and Minho alone.

"You look so beautiful" he said and smirked.

You looked down and blushed and said "Thank you, you look so handsome in that suit too".

He smiled at you, and said "Thank you". Both of you sat down on a table and watched the bride and groom dancing beautifully, after some time both of you got bored and decided to go to the huge backyard.

Both of you sat down on the table and chairs that were arranged there, and started talking about stuff like how you were getting bored and waiting for the wedding to start in the beginning, and he flirted with you here and there by saying "oh yeah, I was waiting to see you so bad, that's the reason I came in the bride's dressing room cause I knew you would be there" at which you blushed so hard and tried to hide your red ears but he stopped you and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. Both of you just kept staring into each others eyes until he said "Let's take pictures, to make this day memorable".

You nodded and took pictures with him, in your phone as well as his phone and went on social media to post them on your stories and posts on Instagram and Snapchat.

After that y'all sat down and were just chatting with each other until your neighbour aka your close friend Jungkook comes up to you and says hi.

You stand up and hug him and introduce him to Minho and they bow and greet each other. Jungkook says "You look so pretty today" and you smile and say "Thank you, you finally wore formals today" and both of you laugh at that.

"I'd love to wear a jeans and a hoodie but c'mon people are gonna think I'm a crazy guy and the guards would probably kick me out if I wore something like that" he said and both of you laugh again.

After your little chat he says "Okay then, I'll see ya around soon" and leaves.

You wave back and say "bye" and sit down.

Now, when you sat down and looked at Lee Know you could see him looking away with an eyebrow raised and if you weren't wrong he was definitely gritting his teeth. You looked at him and asked if everything was okay, even though you could sense his jealousy. He just looked at you and gave a tight lipped smile and nodded.

You asked him again "Are you sure? I mean I'm kinda thinking someone's jealous" with a smirk.

He stared back at you, he held your head and got it close to him, you gasped and your breathing got heavier and he said "I. Said. I'm. Alright." You were so intimidated and you felt it's so hot at the same time. You sat back and said "Its alright to feel like that you know, but just to clear things up he's just my friend, and I don't think about him that way, I already have someone on my mind".

He smirked at this and asked "Oh really?, who is this someone that's on your mind?"

You smirk at him and just when you're about to confess it's Lee-______

You hear a loud screech of woman from the hall, which causes both of you look at each other and go inside to check, but Han runs outside and holds Minho's hand and says "You will not believe but please don't go in there, please".

Minho asks "Wtf is going on in there?!"

Han replies in a trembling voice "You may think I'm stupid, but trust me, if I'm not wrong those are Zombies". You and Lee Know just give each other puzzled looks. You say "Bullshit Han, tell us what's happening inside, my family and friends are in there!!!!".

You hear almost like an animalistic roar from inside. Your start to realize. No no no this can't be happening. Your parents. Your sister. Your best friend. All the people close to you. They're in there. You spot the group of boys all sweaty and shocked in the backyard. Lee Know looks at you and reads your expression.

People are starting to enter the backyard. Lee Know cups your cheeks and says "Hey hey Y/N look at me, everything is okay I'm sure about it, everyone is fine okay don't worry".

You're terrified. You start walking really fast towards the door, you know you can save them, they're alright. You know it. But Minho pulls you back, and says "Y/N no! Please listen to me, don't go there".

You finally shout in a trembling voice "MINHO MY FAMILY IS IN THERE!!!"

"Y/N NO PLEASE TRUST ME!!! WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE!! I CAN'T LOSE YOU. NOT NOW GOD DAMMIT!!!" Minho shouts back.

Your eyes start to get blurry and then, you see it, with your own eyes. It punches the door and its hand falls off. Your eyes go wide and before you even know it Lee Know pulls you and starts to run, you somehow manage to remove those stupid heels while tripping a little bit. You start to run faster along with Minho and the boys ahead of you.

You look back, you cursed yourself for doing that because you saw Jungkook getting bitten by that disgusting rotten creature. You scream so loud that the creature turns looks at you, and starts to run towards you.

Minho looks at you and says "Y/N calm down, we're almost there, c'mon".

You finally see the door open and run out with everyone.

And oh boy a whole lot of zombies surrounds y'all. Somehow you, Lee Know and the boys with some other people have managed to escape from that crowd.

~ Timeskip ~

It's been 3 whole months or atleast what you think since the creatures have invaded the earth. They bite you, and you become one of them in a matter of 15 minutes. If you're strong enough you can stay a human for atleast 1 hour, but not more than that.

Thankfully, You, Minho, Hyunjin, Bang Chan, Seungmin, Jeongin, Changbin, Han and Felix had survived the wedding and ran off. You stayed in an abandoned shop for 1 month and decided to move since y'all were 9 people and the space wasn't enough. Y'all started to run out of food day by day and decided to starve yourselves, which wasn't good. All of you had found items to fight off the zombies.

The whole bunch was scared including you. You still never had your first kill though because Minho was always beside you and when something came up he would fight the creature off or cut off it's head with his axe. You carried around a Baseball bat and felt it was useless since you never fought any zombie and just stood like a coward if any of the creature approached you. You started to feel like a burden and it made you feel ridiculous.

All of you had decided to move to another small place which was probably a tiny restaurant. The boys had locked up the place by putting down the shutters and nailing a bunch of wooden slabs on the transparent glass of the restaurant for safety.

You gasped and swung your bat after you felt a hand on your shoulder brining you back from your thoughts. Thankfully Minho ducked at the right time and said,

"Hey hey hey, calm down Y/N it's just me". For which you gave a sigh of relief and apologised to him.

He told you that they were gonna go out and look for a place for food since y'all were running low again.

"I'll come along too, please". You said.

"Y/N no please, I can't lose you. I can't risk looking away for a second and you getting taken away from me". He said.

"Minho please I can protect myself, please just let me come along, I wanna help". You pleaded.

He just let's out a huff and says "Alright, but please be careful".

Bang Chan and Han come towards you both all ready with their weapons. Chan speaks up and says "C'mon guys, there's no time to waste, we gotta go now".

You get up from you seat and look down at your dress and decide to tear off the expensive material hanging from your thighs that has already been torn and ruined.

You take your baseball bat and look at the boys and notice that they were staring at your legs. Minho takes notice and pulls you close to him and says "Let's go guys, and hope that we survive while coming back". Han laughs nervously and says,

"YEAH, LETS SPILL SOME ZOMBIE BLOOD BABY"

At which y'all laugh, all the other boys wish you good luck and remind you to be careful.

So, now all 4 of you are walking down the empty road looking puzzled and wondering where the zombies are. "Maybe they thought we're scary and ran away" Han says at which Chan scoffs and says "If that was the case they wouldn't attack us in the first place" at which Han just nods in agreement.

After walking a little further Minho looks into his GPS on Google Maps and tells you to stop and says that there is a convenience store very closeby. Y'all decide to go there and when you reach there, oh boy there were so many of those creatures in there and they were hoarded in one particular spot.

Chan looks at this and says "This is brilliant" and Minho asks with a confused look "What do you mean?".

Chan replies "Look all of them are distracted by something, so while they are hoarded in one place like that, we can go and collect whatever we get and sprint off from there". Y'all agree to this and do whatever you're told.

You're still pretty scared while you enter very slowly into the store. You team with Minho, and Chan and Han team up and decide to go the other side. You start collecting whatever you see, and so does Minho. From towels to small candy bars and battery cells.

Suddenly you hear something shift on the other side of the stand and look over at Minho who has noticed it too. Your hand starts trembling while Minho comes next to you and signals a finger to his mouth whispering a small "sh".

Minho moves the tissue box very slowly and gives a sigh of relief once he does, you get confused and look over to see that its just Chan holding his knife ready to attack thinking you're a zombie too.

Y'all tell each other to stay safe while you go to the other section of the store, and start picking up everything randomly, since you need to leave soon.

As you're putting the huge Skittles packet in the cart, you look down to see a hand reaching out to hold your leg. You get so terrified but thankfully you suppress your scream and squeak to call Minho but can't spot him. Your eyes go wide and run to get away from the creature as fast as you can.

Thank God you spot Han and go hug him from behind at which he let's out a squeak and you cover his mouth immediately to avoid drawing attention. Han looks at you and looks at what your finger points at and unfortunately he drops the glass bottle of kimchi from his hand.

Chan and Minho come running towards you and Minho almost skids to see what happened and boy oh boy. There were atleast 15 zombies surrounding you and Han. Both you and Han look at Chan and Minho and run toward them and somehow one of the Zombie grabs your hand, but thanks to your reflexes you swing your baseball bat and hit 4 Zombies by literally knocking out their brains at once and run towards Minho and hug him without realizing you literally killed 4 zombies with just a swing of your bat.

Minho looks down at you and says "You had your first 4 kills" with a shocked face and you start to realize and just open your mouth in shock and look behind to see and that's what had happened.

You decide to be brave and join Chan in killing all those Zombies with Minho and Han joining in too.

You start to notice how good you're getting at this and just for a second when you look away to see how Minho's doing, a hand grabs forcefully at your hair and yanks your head back. You scream in pain and look over at Minho for help and see that he is already charging at the zombie to cut off his head into pieces while mumbling "Don't you dare touch her you fucking shit" and he's running towards you to save you, you start to notice the creature's bad breath is so close to your neck and realize that its gonna bite you.

Thankfully Minho takes a hold of you and yells at you to duck while he cuts of its head and it falls to the ground. You hug Minho tightly and pant heavily into his chest while he just soothes out your hair in a way to comfort you.

With just one look to each other all of you decide to leave the place before anything bad happens and take your carts and sprint off.

After you reach back to your survival place with all the stuff you had, the boys get really happy to see all kinds of yummy food and you just smile at them.

You go to Minho and give him a hug but he pushes you away. You look puzzled and ask him what's the reason he did that. "Hey what's wrong with you" you ask.

"What's wrong with me is it?, C'mon Y/N I told you it's not safe for you out there but you being a stubborn ass wanted to tag along and almost got yourself killed and turned into a zombie by one of those fuckers, do you have any idea how fucking scared I was? NO you only care about what you want!" He yells and walks away.

You're shocked at his words and you realize that tears are already falling down your cheeks. All your insecurities start to hit you at once and you realize that how you're just adding upto their number and how much of a burden you are to them.

Its been atleast 30 minutes with you sitting on one of the table and chairs playing with a knife in your hand and deep in thought still thinking about what Minho had told you.

You don't even notice him coming and sitting beside you. He puts his head on your shoulder and kisses it and you're drawing you away from your thoughts.

He looks at you and says "I'm so so so sorry, I promise I dint mean any of that, I just wanted to keep you safe that's it, please forgive me".

You start to speak "No Minho, you're right. I'm sorry, I'm being such a burden right now, it's better if I just die. Imagine, y'all can do so much better without me. You don't have to protect a cowa-"

Minho covers your mouth with his hand and cuts you off by saying in a very concerned voice "Y/N, no no no you're not a burden to us, you were never a burden to us. I don't know if you thought about this when I yelled at you or if it was there on your mind for a long time but let me tell you one thing. Without Y/N, Minho is absolutely nothing. I don't what I would do without you. You give me so much confidence and strength just by your presence and no you're not a coward, if you were a coward you couldn't have killed all those Zombies in the store or ran off with us on the wedding day. It takes guts to leave your family Y/N, and I could never do that. That's what makes me wanna protect you. You don't have anyone but still at this point you care so much about me".

You're tears just keep streaming down and you're shocked at his words. "I love you Minho" you say. Minho just looks down and blushes so hard and looks away while smiling. "I love you too" he replies back and closes the space between you two and you share the best kiss of your life.

No you don't care if an apocalypse is going on right now. All you care about is that you have Minho and your friends with you. As long as they're safe and you're with Minho, you're happy. You did leave your parents, but if that day if you had left Minho's hand and ran off then it was sure that you would get bit too. It's all in the past. Right now all that matters to you is Minho and your friends.

The End.

A/N: Oh my god guys this is so cringe 😂😂. I'm so sorry if you dint like it I tried my best. But thank you so much for reading it tho :)). Love ya.

[dearmyblank]

AM, I wonder what goes through your mind when you look at my snapchats. Do you laugh at them? Do you go through them cause you care about what I post or just to get them off your screen and my name not at the top of your snaps? I doubt I'll ever ask that. I wonder if you go on snapchat to let me know you're okay. I tend to look at the locations and check up on my friends. I do worry, and honestly idk if I have a right to be. I know you can take care of yourself, I do. But doesn't mean I can't be a little worried ya know? I really hope you're going to be at the lock in on Friday. It would be nice to hang out for the night like all the other times. Also we may get a new girl in Crew and I'm like so excited. I was half tempted to text you with a photo of Garnet with an excited face because that was me. But I didn't want you to judge me. Pretty sure those there at the meeting did judge me a little for being "overly excited". Having 3 other girls has NEVER happened so excuse me for being excited that we may have another girl. I just hope she likes me, and I hope she stays. As much as I love you guys, and honestly y'all were great to me in Vermont, sometimes it's nice having another girl. I mean I heard she's like 14-16 but still. I kinda feel like EC right now. Being the oldest and all. (And the fact that half of y'all are taller than me. Like seriously tf were your parents on that you guys are tall?) I was looking back at our old texts on my phone. Back in 2016 the end of August and the start of September. Those were the only messages from you left cause my phone forced me to delete messages because of storage. Rereading them put a smile on my face. Also reminded me of why I didn't off myself back then, it was cause of you. If I never told you to let me know how camp went, I don't think I would've stayed. (Granted I had to ask but you still replied so.) Then I fangirled about Pokémon Go, and I'm glad you still talked to me after that even when I told you to suck it cause my mom was on Valor instead of Mystic. It was nice rereading them. I can remember sitting on my mom's porch throughout one of the conversations. My mom sat in a chair and so did her neighbor. I can't believe I remember that even after all this time. I originally went on the phone to find that photo I took of you in Erie. I kinda wish I got a similar one of you in Vermont. You know you had every opportunity to stop being my friend. I've certainly put you through enough of my shit for that. I still don't know why you still talk to me. I'm shocked you didn't tell my sister my secrets. (The whole family would've known if she knew about the things I've told you.) In my "The Family" Soc class we were talking about love and I thought of you. I know, I know you've never thought of me that way. And if you do "love" me it's most likely platonic. My teacher asked what love is and I raised my hand and said, "When you put someone else's needs above your own." And then she said how that's not really true and that you can lose yourself doing that. I know that, but I won't stop doing it. I know my limits, I know what I can and cannot do. I know it won't make you love me, but if it makes you smile I'm happy. I do what I can, but I won't ever lose myself or change for it. You're still my friend cause of me, and not because I changed anything about myself. I can make you smile just by being myself. I was also half tempted to say, "Love is being happy for someone even when they don't choose you." But I didn't want to get into that. But honestly even after all this time I do still love you. Apparently you don't have to be in a relationship to love someone I guess. ~AB PS: In my head I dubbed you, A, and I "The A-Squad" since all our names start with A.

[artificialqueens]

Primary Care (a.k.a the Poundcake ficlet collection) 5/13 [Katya/Alaska] - Spoky

A/N: This interlude is pure genius. Why? It is so out of place and weird that it’s all right! It also leads the way very well to the next song no Poundcake and I hope this chapter does the same. So, it’s not exactly a filler chapter, but without this chapter the next one would make no sense.

Beta: apatheticskeleton. She’s so amazing she made it possible for me to post Ch4&5 close to each other as I they kinda link. Thank you. <3

Primary care   (a.k.a. the Poundcake ficlet collection)

Chapter 5/13 - ‘O, Brasil’

Instagram Theonlyalaska5000

A selfie of Justin. The photo has been taken on the backseat of a car. He is wearing a black Alaska T-shirt and smiling widely. He has red lipstick all over his lips and chin. The caption reads: ‘Nothing’s private.’

*

Snapchat Private chat between Justin and Brian.

Brian sends four different dickpics to Justin.

‘Which one is me?’ ‘None. They all taste like my phone.’

*

Twitter Alaska Thunderfuck @ Alaska5000

Are you coming to #DragCon ?! I’ll be appearing there. Get tickets here: #RupaulsDragCon @RuPaulsDragCon.

katya_zamo: You’ll be there?! I’m cancelling.

*

Twitter Katya @ katya_zamo

Just in! Happiness often comes in the form of a warm butt. #news #nothingsprivate

*

Private chat

Justin: Twitter, “Just in!” as in Justin? Brian: You’re smarter than you look! Justin: http://www.nytimes.com/2013/11/19/science/coldblooded-does-not-mean-stupid.html

*

Instagram Theonlyalaska5000

A photo of Alaska and Sharon on stage. They look beautiful. There is no caption.

*

Realistically speaking, Brian knows that Aaron is engaged to Chad, and that Justin has been flirting with him for the past week or so on social media. But it still makes him uncomfortable, and he doesn’t really know how serious Justin’s flirting is. Brian clicks the picture open and hashtags it ‘freakshow’. He doesn’t post it. Trixie is right. If he wants to get involved with Alaska, Needles will be present in the dynamic, if not literally and in person, then through media. It is actually one of the best reasons not to start anything with Alaska. Their every move would be under scrutiny by media, producers, employers, fans and worst of all, other queens. Brian can already hear Del Rio’s read on the topic: ‘Thunderfuck cannot get himself a real man, so she keeps sucking the souls out of her sisters until she’s the only one left standing.’

He really shouldn’t be starting anything with Alaska, because it’s just fucking crazy and it’ll hurt both of their careers, and lives, and hearts - if snakes even have hearts? Brian googles it.

* * *

It was 3am and Justin had just arrived to the hotel. He was absolutely exhausted. His phone made the  sound of a received SMS, which surprised him. Had it been a WhatsApp, a Snapchat or any other type of application message he would’ve ignored it, but he rarely got text messages from anyone anymore, except his mom, and so he made the effort to read it before going to sleep. The sender was his favourite Russian Hooker: ‘Did you know that snakes have hearts?’

Justin was confused. He wasn’t entirely sure whether he had accidentally done something sweet and Brian had figured it out - or if the weirdo was actually talking about actual snake anatomy. He took a seat at the sofa and started to type a reply. After two attempts of typing, when the autocorrects were not even funny, he got annoyed and pushed the call button instead - it was just easier.

Brian’s phone rang while he was reading about snake hearts and so he picked up without looking at the caller ID.

‘Yup?’

‘Who answers their phone with a ‘yup’?’

Brian froze for a second, but chuckled then. ‘Oh hi!’

‘Of course I know, I can feel it beating.’ Justin drawled in a voice that tried to reach Alaska, but didn’t quite make it. He really was beat.

Brian frowned. ‘What?’

‘… And I thought I was tired. Snakes. Hearts. Ring a bell?’

A lamp lit in Brian’s head. ‘Ah! You got my message?’

‘No, I just randomly called to discuss snake hearts.’

Brian smiled.

‘Well, you’re in luck! Because I have just learned that snakes have both renal and hepatic portal circulations and that the position of snake’s heart varies among species and, as there is no diaphragm, it is mobile within the ribcage. Snake’s heart’s position varies slightly with its ecological niche and phylogenetic position, and its mobility may facilitate the passage of relatively large prey. Snake hearts have three chambers: right and left atria and one ventricle. The right atrium receives deoxygenated blood from the systemic circulation and the left receives oxy-’

‘Are you actually reading some snake encyclopedia out loud for me?’

Brian was quiet for a moment. ‘I guess that depends on your position whether Wikipedia counts as a snake encyclopedia?’

Justin couldn’t believe it. He had to really make an effort to not to laugh out loud.

‘So you’re telling me I’m paying sky high phone minutes to hear a wikipedia entry I could’ve looked up free online?’

‘It’s not my fault you’re not smart enough to call me on WhatsApp.’

Justin had to admit Brian had a point. He promptly hanged up, opened the app and called back.

‘Yup!’

‘Now you’re doing that just to annoy me.’

‘Possibly.’  

They shared a short comfortable silence.

‘I’m in Rio,’ Justin said then and took a more comfortable position on the sofa.

‘Oh yeah? I’ve never been in Rio, but if I ever had the chance I would be certain to use a condom and enjoy the ride.’

Justin got the double meaning and rolled his eyes. He then realised Brian couldn’t see him.

‘Do you ever take anything seriously?’

‘Yes, absolutely. But it worsens my anxiety, so I try not make a habit out of it.’

Justin shook his head in amusement. He liked talking to Brian. It made him feel somehow comfortable - safe and secure. The memories and feelings from the dressing room when he had fallen apart and Katya had put him back together popped to his mind, as did the kiss they had shared the last time they had actually seen each other. The memories left an empty feeling inside him, which was amplified by Brian’s voice at the other end of the call.

He should’ve texted, Justin realised too late.

‘Hello? Did I lose you?’

‘No no, I’m here,’ Justin said quietly.

‘You alright?’ Brian asked and Justin could hear worry in his voice.

Justin squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath. There were so many feelings that it was hard to make sense of them. He was so tired and he really should’ve texted. Nothing made any sense. He couldn’t even remember when was the last time he had felt like this; like a complete mess; like nothing made sense and something was missing.

‘Justin?’

‘I’m sorry,’ Justin whispered. He could feel the tears coming and cursed. ‘Shit. Look, I need to go.’

‘Oh. Ok.’

‘Night.’ Justin waited no reply before hanging up.

It hurt. It fucking hurt. He just couldn’t do it, couldn’t give in. It would be the exact same story. He would build dream castles and talk about soulmates, love, and it would all come crumbling down. There was a tight feeling in Justin’s chest and tears rose to his eyes. It was hard to breathe.

He’d never been as afraid as with Aaron. Their relationship had been wonderful and beautiful, but he had also been so petrified with fear that he couldn’t breathe. He had started to suffocate and treated it with alcohol, drugs and then with sex - with a stranger. The handsome guy from Florida popped to his thoughts and Justin screamed inside. How could he have done that? To the person he had loved most in the world. Through his own actions his greatest fears had become a reality. The dream castles had shattered to pieces. It was hard to breathe.

He had once told Rupaul that he feared death, which was bullshit. He had been terrified of living, because he knew he would fuck it up, and he had, and he would again. He wouldn’t do it again. No, it would be easier to live alone than fear the time it would be over. He needed to consciously to think about breathing to do it, it hurt.

Justin didn’t know how long he had been crying when he heard the voice and the banging of the door.

‘I know you’re in there and if you don’t open this door, I’m going to wake up the entire hallway or the entire hotel if I have to!’

Aaron. Exactly the person he wanted to, and equally as much did not want to see.

‘I’m serious!’

Justin tiptoed to the door and opened it to see Aaron standing there, barefooted.

Aaron took one look at him and sighed. ‘Oh honey.’ He pushed the door open and collected the fragile boy into his arms. Justin was bigger than Aaron remembered, or maybe he remembered wrong? Whichever the case, he didn’t seem to fit into Aaron’s embrace as well as he used to.

‘Chad, close the door,’ Aaron said quietly. The name shook Justin’s foundation. It caused him to lose sight of every single string he had held onto to keep himself together and so he crumbled to the floor, sobbing. He was so tired.

‘Come on honey, get up, the bed’s right there,’ Aaron whispered and massaged small circles onto Justin’s back. ‘Come on, up you go.’

Aaron got the sobbing man onto the bed and started stroking his hair gently. ‘You’re just tired. You just need to sleep and everything will come together.’

It took only minutes for Justin to calm down in Aaron’s embrace and fall asleep.

Chad was sitting on the sofa, watching the two men on the bed.

‘Love?’ Aaron whispered gently. ‘Could you give me my phone?’

Chad nodded and handed the phone he had been fiddling with to it’s rightful owner.

Aaron re-opened the message he had received 22 minutes ago from an unknown number: ‘Hi Aaron, got your number from Detox. You’re in Rio with Justin, no? I think he needs help, he sounded exhausted. I think you know what I mean. Brian (Katya)’

‘All well,’ Aaron typed and thought for a moment. ‘Thank you.’ He thought again, erased the thank you and added ‘How did you know?’ before pressing send.

‘I’ve seen it before. It just sounded like that on the phone,’ came Brian’s immediate reply.  

Aaron raised his eyebrows in surprise. Someone really cared. He sighed and typed a ‘Thank you.’ before walking to Chad, who had returned to the sofa.

‘Come on, he’s fine now,’ Aaron whispered and offered a hand to his handsome fiancé.  

Chad glanced to the sleeping man on the bed, nodded and accepted Aaron’s hand.

They walked to their room and Chad closed the door in silence.

‘You ok?’ he then asked Aaron.

‘Yeah, why?’

‘You’re awfully quiet.’

‘Mm,’ Aaron nodded. He didn’t know why but it bothered him.

‘How long do you think Justin has known Brian?’

Chad shrugged. ‘I don’t know, little over a year?’

‘Yeah, that’s what I thought,’ Aaron said and walked to their bed. The couple snuggled up together and Chad kissed Aaron’s shoulder.

‘It took me over two years to see it coming, to recognise the signs. I didn’t even know you could hear it from his voice… And we were dating, we lived together,’ Aaron explained.

‘See what coming?’

‘Those exhaustion and stress induced panic attacks Justin works himself into.’

‘Mm,’ Chad nodded. He was silent for a moment and then asked uncertainly: ‘You’re jealous?’

‘No!’ Aaron exclaimed, but could see that Chad wasn’t convinced. ‘I guess a little. He’s thousands of miles away and could hear from Justin’s bare voice that he needed help. I spent seven hours today with him, on- and off-stage, and I didn’t notice a thing.’

Chad smiled gently, happily. ‘Yeah, because you’re not in love with him.’

Aaron nodded, surprised that Chad’s comment didn’t hurt. He really was not in love with Justin. Hadn’t been for a long time. He loved him, dearly, but was not in love with him. Did that mean that Brian was?

‘You know what I think?’

‘What?’

‘I think we should sleep.’

Aaron nodded and turned off the lights. He listened to Chad’s breathing, but couldn’t fall asleep. His thoughts kept going in circles and coming back to Justin. He knew had to do something or the feeling wouldn’t leave him alone. He checked that Chad was asleep and sneaked into the toilet. He was fiddling with his phone while trying to decide whether or not to make the call. Truthfully, it wasn’t fair on either of them - not on Justin, not on Brian. But he had to do something and at 4.30 am this was the only thing he could think of.

* * *

6295.08 miles away Brian McCook was just getting into a shower when his phone rang in the living room. He turned on his heels and took three long stride to reach his phone. He had just  swiped the screen to answer when he hit his big toe to a coffee table corner.

‘Дерьмо́! Fuckingshitmotherfucker!’

‘I’ll just assume you don’t answer all of you calls like that?’ came a rather surprised voice of Aaron Coady and Brian swore again under his breath.

‘No, I… Sorry. I hit my toe. Jesus. I think I’m bleeding. It hurts like shit!’

‘Yes, shit can be very painful,’ Sharon noted, amused.

‘Sorry,’ Brian said again. ‘You called?’

‘Yes. I have a favour to ask, and I’m sure you have work, or are busy, or something. But like… Look, I know about Texas.’

Brian rolled his eyes. Who didn’t know about Texas? Fucking gossipy Drag Cunts - there was nothing majestic about that bunch.

‘We’ve been in Rio for a week and we have another one to go and, let’s just cut to the chase - how would you feel about coming to Brazil?’

  —–

A/N2: Who can guess what Poundcake song chapter 6 is based on? ^O^