#I paid £3.30 in hospital parking the first night because I panicked and wasn't sure how much to put in the machine

[brightclothesforwinter]

love is a doing word

(But apropos of previous post and Friday I'm in Love -

love, as iirc M has said for years, is a doing word

look I'm willing to believe that there are people to whom being kind, caring, nurturing, helpful etc come naturally; for whom those things are easy

I am not one of those people. (This is not a cue to argue; I know what I am. If you do not, it is because I have worked for that; because I have performed those behaviours on purpose and, apparently, convincingly.)

I do these things, I continue to do these things, because they are the right things to do, either in-general, or specifically for a loved one. Driving to the hospital in the middle of the night, being gentle with a co-worker who's obviously used to being shouted at, thanking the person who tried to help even if they couldn't solve the whole problem, noting when someone else did a really good job and making sure they get credit for it, voting left, union membership - no matter what the context, it's the same thing; love as a doing word.

Do I have squishy soft feelings about people in general? Absolutely not. A great many people are arseholes, either by accident or design. Some of them overtake you to run a red light on an electric scooter while you're driving home from the hospital because they apparently have no self-preservation instincts. I like individuals of course! But people in general are not great. I may be swearing under my breath as I drive around the idiot who's trying to get himself run over, but I still do it.

a friend told me once, 'love is a doing word'

my spouse is sick. i drive them to the hospital

my offshore colleagues haven't been given the tools to do their job

four-and-a-half time-zones between us, no word of it spoken, and i can tell they expect anger

i speak gently, i am careful with my language

of sixty languages I know three words; the burden of translation is not mine to carry

i drive to the hospital. the burden of sickness is not mine to carry

i brake sharply for the off-lead dog that runs across the road to the park

i stand with my union siblings, i vote for the imperfect helping hand

i drive carefully around the wanker who overtakes me and runs a red light on a hire scooter in the dark

i wash the dishes, i hang out the washing, i make dinner. it will be better with cheese

i grate the cheese; i drive to the hospital

love is a doing word

i stand with my union siblings, i vote for the imperfect helping hand

my feelings are tired and worn, frustrated and angry, but love is a doing word

i drive to the hospital. chalk hearts have no hands to help. thank-you banners cannot take handover at shift-change. fireworks do not pay bills. no-one can work at their best for twelve hours straight.

they try anyway, checking over each other's work to catch the inevitable mistakes, because love is a doing word

we are all so fucking tired

and the tories are trying to destroy the best things we have left

but love is still a doing word

and the dishes are dirty again