#I often start with task convinced I can't do it anymore with very little motivation and racing thoughts and end up with sleep issues | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

chatonmagique · 5 months ago

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Failing to be a comforming student and not being able to rest (especially mentally) is quite literally making me want to die at this point. I barely have hope for me holding a job getting any better and can't see how I can get through next year filled with internships and a minor without a lot of failure, dissapointed and angry teachers and supervisors suffering and burning out with no self esteem or hope left

#In the grand scheme of things I apreciate life and it's not that serious but it feels that serious to be so mentally distressed and escapist #Like I'm not a danger to myself but definitely a wrack #personal #I even had to quit adhd medication because I was in too much distress to properly try the medication #have to wait until I get passed #this intense schedule until I can try again #I often start with task convinced I can't do it anymore with very little motivation and racing thoughts and end up with sleep issues #making me fall further behind #Constantly writing dissapointing update mails about how I can't meet certain expections #I feel best when I'm too exhausted to feel enxious and actually feel sleepy and relaxed #don't have proper weekends where I'm fully allowed to rest #Haven't had a vacation in months and the time off I've had in the passed years weren't free of duties due to always being behind #I #barely getting through one thing and then I have to put it asidr for something else that needs to get done first and suddenly has priority #I can't keep up anymore I need a break before I have the right to have one which is awfully inconvenient

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