#I need someone to teach me like I'm a grandma who's never used a computer probably

[sleepytoycollection]

I wish I could wrap my brain around how to use 3D sculpting programs or I could make more parts from scratch myself, but I really just don't understand how to use them no matter how many tutorials I watch.

[scarfacemarston]

Teacher!Natasha x Teacher!Reader Oneshot

For Lesbian Visibility Week! If you enjoyed this, please note and reblog! Feel free to send other prompts or requests! Prompt: The students come into your classroom complaining about Natasha as a teacher not knowing you're her wife. This is version 1. You sighed as you glanced at the digital clock on your computer. Damn. Your planning period was almost over, and you really needed to finish grading these essays. Soon, you would be back to teaching your high school history classes for the day. The period ended far too quickly as students began to file their way into the classroom, discussing this and that. You were so engrossed in your work that you were hardly paying attention until you heard “Ms. Romanoff” mentioned not once, not twice, but in a string of sentences. Oh boy. Ms. Romanoff was one of the more controversial teachers at the school known for her no-nonsense attitude, sternness and sarcasm , but she was also fair with a dry sense of humor. “Why did I take international politics as an elective? Oh, that’s right, I thought it would look good on my transcript!” One student said sarcastically. “She’s so nitpicky! I got an A-. AN A MINUS!” “Hers is the only class I don’t fall asleep in anymore. Not since….last time.” “She’s so strict even the Macklin brothers shut up.” “She’s terrifying. I heard she used to be an undercover agent in the CIA”. You smirked at that one. You should probably look into that rumor. “A spy? Shut-up, man. Who’s going to believe that?” “I heard she was a failed actress.” “I heard she voiced the Russian Siri.” “I heard she’s a rich heiress that lost all her cash.” “Look, guys, I don’t care. She just ripped our class to shreds.I just can’t right now. Nearly the entire class failed her last test. These test corrections are going to take all night.” “At least you’re allowed test corrections! We’re her AP class and the only way we can make up points is through a new essay.” “She’s scary. I swear” “I think she knows what I’m thinking and then that makes me think more and then she thinks what I’m thinking and that thinking makes my head hurt.” “I was ONE minute late to class and she gave me a late slip!” “One time my grandma called me in class, and she made me pick it up.” You shot a quick text to Natasha before the bell rang. Her classroom was two doors down from yours since you two were technically in the same department. Time to log off your grading program and begin class. You pulled out the binder with today’s lesson plans ready to begin. “Wow, you all are full of comments about Ms Romanoff today.” You said neutrally. “Miss Y/N, you don’t understand. She’s so ….uh, extra.” You withheld a smirk. Natasha wasn’t what you would call extra, but she was set in her ways.” “I don’t think she’s extra. I think she just has high standards.” You responded. One of the students rolled their eyes.

"Do you all talk about me like this when I'm not here?"

"Nooo Ms. Y/N, we would never!"

"Well, maybe you could extend the same courtesy to my wife next time," you said, withholding a laugh. The room fell silent. A pin could have dropped.

“Fuck” you heard someone say under their breath. “Language”, you chastised, but you couldn’t say you blamed them. You saw the students in various forms of awkward shuffling, a cough here or there or “Ummm” or “Uhh” as students tried to form sentences. “Wait, you’re married?” a student questioned before being glared at by the others. Your fourth period class was near silent for the rest of the period, with the students seemingly still in shock. One minute til the bell rang. You saw a flash of red hair out of the corner of your eye. Thirty seconds. Natasha knocked on the door. “Hey, you, we’re all ordering from Robert’s Deli for lunch. You want your usual or will you finally try something new?” Natasha teased. The class whipped their heads collectively towards the door. It was becoming harder not to laugh. Natasha narrowed her eyes. “What’s going on, Y/n?” “Oh, you’re scaring my class, dear!” You said, smiling widely. Natasha scoffed. “Dear, huh? Oh, so they found out, didn’t they? As if us entering the building together and leaving together in the same car wasn’t hint enough that we’re married.  Yeah, I might have scared a few of them. It was well deserved, trust me, Isn’t that right, Reynolds?” Jason Reynolds sank down into his seat, not meeting Natasha’s eyes. The bell rang. The students couldn’t scramble enough as they grabbed their bags and rushed past Natasha. You gave a small laugh as you finally met Natasha. “You’re a mean woman, you know that?” “Hey, you texted me, babe.” “It was great, not gonna lie. Sorry the “secret” is out.” “It’s not like we’re closeted, we’re simply professional. I’m surprised they didn’t figure it out sooner….or maybe I’m not.” Natasha muttered. Your stomach growled. “Alright, I’ll look up the menu. Find something new to try for once. Promise.” You said in response to your stomach. Natasha nodded. “Don’t want you to scare the next class because you’re hungry.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

End

[sqbr]

I normally do this sort of thing as a dreamwidth post but the site is refusing to load, so!

From @anghraine. Consider yourself tagged if you want to be!

1- Were you named after anyone?

Yep! Sean is a portmanteau of my original first and middle names. My first name was that of my mother's mother's mother's mother, a Jewish refugee and my grandma's beloved grandma. My middle name was that of my dad's mother, who died when I was young. I like that they, and my parents' choices in naming me, are still honoured by my new name.

2- What is your dream job?

That is a very complicated question! The reason I have no job right now is my various disabilities, and I've never had a job not be interfered with by mental and/or physical illness, including intense anxiety at the very concept of having a paid job. And I enjoyed something unique about every job I have done, while I was able to do it. So a couple of possibilities:

A job I am capable of doing right now, whether or not it pays well, as long as I have enough money to live: My current situation! I make computer games and art as a hobby, netting me like $100 a year at best, and Cam pays the bills.

A job I am capable of doing right now that pays a full time wage: I guess…I inherit a fortune from someone random? I don't think I'd actually like my creations becoming a thousand times more popular, that's a lot of pressure! Maybe if I got a one-time million dollar grant from some charity for the work I've already done, or sold the rights to something??

I still have Work Anxiety but become and remain physically healthy: Teaching people science or maths in a group setting where I don't have to do any planning beyond maybe learning a script. My two favourite jobs I have ever done were a vibrant drop in centre for people who needed help with undergraduate maths subjects, and doing humourous edutainment science shows for children in a museum. The latter was more physically exhausting than I have ever had the energy for, so if we're just talking pre-cfs me rather than Magically Healthy me then the maths drop in centre. But in either case the work conditions would be markedly less "shitty casual job filled by interchangeable uni students who can be fired at any time".

I am still physically disabled but don't have Work Anxiety: technical writer. I did this a couple of hours a week a few years ago and it was pretty cool and paid well, but I had so much anxiety I developed a whole new permanent chronic illness and had to quit.

I don't have ANY physical or mental health problems: Unimaginable utopia. Who even knows. Uni maths lecturer? World president ushering in an era of peace and prosperity who does children's science shows on the side??

I also really enjoyed working in an office as a public servant, and I feel like there's some version of me where that's the ideal, though hopefully the work itself would be a little less dull. Maybe technical writing!

But definitely not Artist/Creative Writer etc. That is a hobby I sometimes get paid for, and I like it that way.

3- Do you have children?

Nope. I was determined not to have them as a kid, then Cam and I got VERY CLUCKY and were vaguely planning it before I got sick in my mid twenties, and now we're both glad we didn't, even asides from me being ill. I adore children in small doses, but don't want that much work and responsibility!

4- What's your eye color?

Muddy green on the inside, brown on the outside. I think it reads as hazel from a distance.

5- What's the first thing you notice about people?

…I have no idea. Now I'm going to think about it!

6- Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Maybe >.> (yes)

7- Do you prefer scary movies or happy endings?

This is a false dichotomy! Many scary movies have happy endings, and many stories without happy endings are not scary! That said, I like happy endings and do not generally like scary movies, though I do enjoy horror under the right circumstances.

8- Do you have any special talents?

I am good at abstract mathematics and abstract logic. Not as much as before I got sick but still better than the average person. This does NOT mean you should trust my answers when it comes to arithmetic.

9- Where were you born?

The world's most popular birthzone, UTC+8! Specifically: Perth, Western Australia

10- What are your hobbies?

Fanfic, fanart, programming and game making, occasional random things like sewing. Writing reviews and guides to things, I guess?

11- Do you have any pets?

Two cats, Bing and Darcy, both of whom are adorably sleeping on/near me right now because it is Cold.

12- What sports do you play/have you played?

Ahhaaaahahahahaaaahaha.

Hmm. Not counting Remedial Swimming, which I hated with a passion… I was on my primary school's lower-ranked netball team because they'd take literally anyone, and was very bad at it and kept forgetting my zone. I actually kinda liked hockey, but the rest of the house kicked me off, because they preferred to play with four people on the team than put up with how bad I was at it. Sport has never been my strong point.

13- How tall are you?

161cm/5'3" which is pretty short for an Australian, even an afab one.

14- Favorite subject in school?

Physics! I was planning on becoming a physicist until I hit uni and realised Real Physics involves a lot more fudging and kludges than the simple equations we'd learned in highschool, and I shifted my affections to the pure elegance of abstract algebra.

14 questions for 14 friends

I was tagged by @ladytharen in this meme, which I slightly adapted! Thanks <3

1- Were you named after anyone?

Saint Elizabeth and the Virgin Mary, if that counts! My mother was also super into Elizabeth I and Mary, Queen of Scots, so it's for them, too.

My bio father was chill with it because both names are very common in his family (which is US Irish Catholic+Greek Orthodox), including his beloved aunt Mary, and he personally liked some Elizabeths and Marys in his life.

2- What is your dream job?

If we're going for literal dreams, "novelist who makes enough to pay the bills."

3- Do you have children?

No. I don't think I could be trusted with the sole care of a rat, tbh, much less a human child.

4- What's your eye color?

Grey. My eyes can seem like they change color, but it's just tricks of light; they're always this.

(I don't actually like a whole lot of my physical features, but I do like my eyes. Thanks, Tolkien!)

5- What's the first thing you notice about people?

Hmm, I'm not sure. Their general appearance if I notice anything, but I'm pretty unobservant and I dislike eye contact, so I tend not to notice much.

6- Do you use sarcasm a lot?

No. I do sometimes, but in general, I'm extremely earnest.

7- Do you prefer scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings, for sure! I spend enough time being scared IRL, honestly!

8- Do you have any special talents?

I can play the piano (and the flute, a little).

9- Where were you born?

Eastern Oregon. I call it the spawning grounds.

10- What are your hobbies?

Mostly games (both video and board games, of varying kinds) and fiddling with things on my antique copy of Photoshop Elements. Coming up with various original stories, and sometimes actually writing them, along with fanfic. Grumping on the Internet.

Oh, and I like to read things out loud.

11- Do you have any pets?

A cat, though I share custody of her with my father.

12- What sports do you play/have you played?

I don't really like or understand sports tbh. I was into basketball as a kid, but too sick to play it properly. I did like to watch figure skating, though.

13- How tall are you?

5'4", barely.

14- Favorite subject in school?

English. I slightly preferred creative writing to literature.

If you want to do any of it, tagging: @elwing, @kareenvorbarra, @irresistible-revolution, @heckofabecca, @hoidn, @grumpyfaceurn, @kazaera, @arsonlupin, @nanyoky, @ncfan-1, @nelayn, @steinbecks, @sqbr, @venndaai