#I might come back and edit this later because it's embarrassing but I genuinely don't even know what I'm doing right now

[harbingrs]

I haven't posted a proper update since I remade, and I don't know if I'd really posted anything for a while before that, besides something about travel photos. I'm also wary of bad faith takes, and it's not something that makes me very proud, but I've been pretty frank since I remade my blog so here's what's happen happening:

Was suffering from burnout and a ton of work-related anxiety, couldn't get any help for that and had to keep getting through it until I got laid off out of the blue in December. Had the most stressful few weeks of my life (up until that point) trying to wind up all the work in time

Spent 6 weeks in the US visiting my sysmate's fiance & then my partner at the time, which was 100% the greatest experience of our life

Got back in January set to do freelance work - my disabilities mean feasible jobs are rare (anything fully remote in my industry is typically contracting, not employment). I think it took about a day and I had a complete breakdown - it was definitely the worst derealisation episode of my life.

I wasn't in a position to actually look after myself OR hospitalise myself (no income to keep rent paid, no one to look after my cat, not even able to coordinate anything for myself, etc) so I've basically just had to drag myself through life in that state four months, with whatever help people could give me and selling everything I own, plus whatever work I could get/do.

It's been the most stressful and nightmarish experience I've ever had, honestly, every single week I've come close to being evicted with nowhere to go, and I haven't had food consistently since I got back. I've been on and off meds since I can't always afford them, and most of the time I can't think clearly enough to actually take care of myself.

My anxiety was already a daily issue but since then it's been at a level where I'm just non-functional as a person. The panic is near-constant and I struggle to cope with literally anything that happens or stay calm on my own. I've been suicidal literally every day because I just can't manage my own life or find a way to fix everything, so it doesn't feel like there's any other choice.

All of this completely destroyed my relationship, which is devastating, but it was definitely more than anyone can be expected to deal with. I've been so erratic and frantic every day and panicking when I'm left alone at all because I can't cope with anything, and it's a complete mess.

It's just been a downwards slide of everything getting worse and worse financially, my relationship falling apart while not being able to stop it, not having the capacity or time or energy to try and find resources/charities/etc that can help me, etc. The past few weeks I've also had a lot of pain and general unwellness from gallstones which has tanked even my ability to do the little bit of work I was doing before, or to keep finding resources to help me.

I still have the same issues with being able to hospitalise myself that I had back in January:

I don't have friends/family nearby to help, which means no one to look after my cat and no one to advocate for me outside the hospital. I'm fucking terrified that if I go in there being honest about how badly I can't take care of myself, I'm going to end up under guardianship of the state or my abusive family, and I don't even know which is worse.

I also don't have any money or income, the overdue bills and rent are piling up, and being away for even a few days will mean losing my home and all my things while I'm away. It also means I couldn't pay someone to feed my cat while I'm gone.

I'm also going to lose the few regular writing clients I've been able to get on board on the past few months, including one opportunity that's my ideal career, but I'm not keeping it together well enough to do the work.

Honestly, I'm at the point where being put under guardianship etc or in some kind of facility is starting to feel like more of a relief than a threat, because at least I wouldn't be battling this hard to take care of myself each day. And that's not said lightly because it's my worst nightmare, but I've been completely overwhelmed for four months just trying to make it day by day and I can't see myself surviving like this.

I know the risk is a lot higher because I don't have support people or advocates etc here, and if it sounds like I'm just catastrophising, I'm really not because I know the extent to which I can't manage my own life right now. If I lived with a spouse/family/etc I know it's not something they'd do as long as someone was looking out for me, but especially without a home or possessions when I leave the hospital, I don't think they'd just release me into the wild after a few days. Again, if they did, it would only be because I lied about my capacity to actually look after myself, which won't help me.

This isn't where I ever pictured my life being - I've always been the kind of person to stay externally functional no matter what. But this is unlike anything I've ever experienced and it just gets more and more terrifying, and the more I panic, the more I just alienate whoever I'm talking to because I'm being a crazy person. And somehow I'm still out here having to fend for myself each day, and I don't know how much longer I can survive like this - every day feels like I'm not gonna make it through.

I feel like I'm either in complete panic mode or physically ill from it or completely exhausted from it or it's taking all my energy and focus just to keep myself from panicking, and in none of those states am I actually capable of running my life and making a living. I think I find the new meaning of 'rock bottom' about once a week and I am really, truly stuck.

[valsverse]

━━ "FOOL FOR YOU."

✦ synopsis: percy jackson is utterly infatuated with you, and you remain utterly oblivious. ✦ pairing: percy jackson x dense af!reader

percy jackson has never been known for being subtle.

even outside of a romantic sense, whether he's engaging in a public duel with the god of war, or casually transporting medusa's head straight to olympus, his actions have never exactly been discreet.

yet, it's you who has caused him to reach a new low when it comes to his subtlety, or, the lack of it thereof.

when percy jackson falls in love, it's like plunging into the ocean. in fact, to say he "falls" is inaccurate—since the moment his gaze first met yours, he immediately knew you were the one.

the initial sight of you, battling a minotaur with a confident grin, shoelaces undone, and wielding a weapon on the brink of disintegration, nearly elicited a scoff from him. how problematic, how messy, how utterly captivating.

since then, oh he's been absolutely whipped—there's no other way to describe it. he's completely enthralled, beyond captivated. no matter how you word it, percy jackson is absolutely in love.

his feelings are so downright obvious that everyone, Mr. D included, (who makes sure to exit the premises every time he sees percy approaching you because he knows it would be too painful for him to watch) knows how he feels about you, so what's holding him back? simple. it's you.

you're the one holding him back.

it frustrates him because he's conquered feats deemed nearly impossible by most, yet he practically melts at the mere sight of you! and the worst part is, you don't even seem to notice!

percy feels like he's laid it all out there, i mean, how much more obvious can he really get? he's kissed your hands with a tenderness that bordered on reverence, emptied his wallet to stock up on your favorite snacks as if each were a precious treasure, and shadows you around camp like a lost puppy!

each attempt seriously feels like an arrow straight though his heart. take, for instance when he presented you with the grandest, most elaborate bouquet of blue flowers, carefully chosen from the demeter kids' gardens. (though that's a problem he dealt with later) he spent hours clumsily striving for perfection, weaving delicate ribbons and lace until he fashioned a bow worthy of your attention, only to receive a casual, "those are some nice flowers, percy!" in return. then there was the time he knelt down to tie your perpetually untied shoelaces. from his position, on one knee and looking up at you, you seemed almost transcendent to him, like an angel descended to earth. but the spell was quickly broken as you remarked, "you're such a great friend, percy!"

and who could forget the painstakingly detailed confession of his feelings for you? he watched in agonizing slow motion as your smile widened, caught in breathless anticipation only to be met with a simple "thanks!" from you. just carve his heart out at this point, why don't you? it's genuinely painful—not just for him, but for everyone at camp forced to witness his embarrassing antics and your completely dense reactions. you've got to know, right? isn't it glaringly obvious? a simple glance from you and his face turns crimson, his hands go clammy. haven't you noticed how he edges closer when you're beside him? how he constantly invents reasons to be nearer to you, any chance he gets? there's no way you don't know at this point! but each time you respond so innocently, as if you might genuinely not be aware of his feelings, he second-guesses himself. maybe you really are just painfully oblivious. blissfully unaware. yes, percy jackson is undeniably in love with an absolute idiot.

©heartss4val — do not steal, edit, or repost my works. plagiarism is prohibited.

[ravenadottir]

what do you think the viewers/eliminated islanders would think about henrik bringing back blake when mc was loyal during the hell that is casa amor?

ooh, ok, let's talk about that!

edit: (many, many, many asks have been "blocked in my inbox and this is one of them. sorry for the taking so long to answer but my drafts kind of swallowed most of the asks i put here)

eliminated islanders' reaction to henrik switching to blake

hannah. going through what she did (which it was at some level pretty brutal) i can see her sympathizing with mc, even if they weren't close before, to the point of calling the situation "embarrassing and gruesome" about mc having to watch henrik come back holding hands with someone new. "we saw what blake was all about and i'm afraid henrik made a terrible mistake. hopefully he realizes it sooner rather than later."

rocco. he would rave about connections and defend henrik. "the guy went to love island to find love. you forget that the whole point is to find someone who better suits you than just staying loyal to someone you don't see a future with." to which followers and the public who watches the show would be pretty radical about.

"coming from the guy that went behind a girl's back to every single one of the girls to try and stay in the house."

he would block and delete every comment but eventually would have to change the subject and stop projecting onto henrik's decision.

lucas. yeah, no, he's definitely saying/posting things like "nooo, rik, what are you doing???".

i would argue lucas' opinion on it roots in his own attraction towards mc, after all he's supposed to be "the one that got away" therefore he rates mc high. watching a close mate doing that to the girl he likes might make him angry, but not enough to say the truth publicly.

no, no, he would hide his real feelings as much as he could, especially if he knew returning was an option.

the public. it absolutely depends. we know the producers edit things the way they see fit, and judging by the show i think blake would've been the villain in the edit.

there's no possibility of watching the villa in a 24/7 scheme like they do with big brother, so i reckon the producers are showing strategy conversations between shannon and blake, and emphasizing how "dumb and gullible" henrik is.

they love doing this, particularly to guys that are a bit naive.

the public would be divided because half of them understand what blake had to do if she wanted to stay, the other half says "well, if you don't have a genuine connection then you shouldn't get the chance to stay."

i can see a few people twitting things like: "so, blake said everything he wanted to hear? and did everything accordingly to how he likes a girl to act? couldn't she just... i don't know... be herself?"

overall the viewers would be having a twitter war over henrik bringing her back, and defending mc, which i feel like it's the main reason why she became so popular moving forward.

[zutaraplatter]

Avatar: The Last Airbender Critique

There are already a million of posts like this one, and I might be saying things that’ve already been said a million times but I’ve recently become reheated about the ATLA ending and wanted to let it out -_- No one asked, this is true, and this may or may not be a way to stall from this final project I still have to complete, but here’s 10 things I didn't like and/or would change about the show that likely shouldn’t need changing because they should have been done in the first place.

1. Katara should have apologized to Sokka after TSR

It should have happened and it didn't. In my canon-avoiding mind, Katara and Sokka have a heartfelt conversation where she apologizes for the awful things she said, Sokka says he forgives her and he's sorry if he wasn't as there for her as much as he should have been, which he follows up with "but I'm happy you listened to Aang and took his advice," leading into my next point

2. Katara should have said that not killing Yon Rha was her choice

And thats why it was the right one. Not because Aang already said it was wrong. No no. It was the right choice because that's what she chose. I love my mom to death and can't imagine losing her in any way, let alone the way Katara did. And I can't say for sure that if I was in her shoes that I know what I would have done f that yes I do I would have killed that motherfucker. But I also know that if Katara decided not to kill him, then that was one of two correct choices because they were Katara's choices to make. Not Aang's or anyone else's and this should have been clarified. I know it's a kids show but I said what I said. Next point.

3. Katara should have said more after telling Aang she was unsure at the Ember Island Players

Katara hasn't had any trouble saying how she feels, especially when it comes to helping others and making them feel better, whether she was right or wrong. But she holds back or overly softens blows and seems to even shrivel up at times when it comes to Aang. And me no likey. I had a boyfriend who I adored and admired and just genuinely looked up to. I'm also a shy and anxious person who hates confrontation, but because I loved him, I never refrained from telling him when he was wrong. I might have been a little shaky about it but I did it tho because when you want to be with someone you walk through the grass and stomp through the mud. And I personally feel like either in that moment or later on in an added scene that Katara should have voiced to Aang how unheard and disrespected she felt about his words before TSR and his actions on the balcony. I hate being uncomfortable and my secondhand embarrassment is toxic but I would love to see a scene of this. I always imagined Katara saying stuff like "But I'm not you Aang, and I'm not an Air Nomad," or "Zuko could understand why I needed to go, and I'd hoped you would too," or...I'm out of ideas but you get the idea. And you know what, I know I'm a hard Zutara shipper, but them having this conversation would honestly make me respect their relationship a whole lot more should it be believably written to end on a good note (I don't see how it could be but hey I'm an open minded person and I did think they were cute together once upon a time). Basically, all I'm saying is that Katara is no small voice and she should have been written that way when with Aang. Boyfriends can make you shy but should never make you weak. Period. Next point.

4. No rock! ONLY GROWTH!!!!!!!!!!!

I still squint my eyes whenever I remember that rock that unblocked Aang's chakra. What even was that? The laziest writing possible in my opinion. That's what. And Aang deserved better. What should have happened should have been that Aang started to lose to Ozai. And then as Ozai's about to deliver the finishing blow, Aang has flashbacks of everyone he's trying to save and honor, ending with a very prominent flashback of Katara with the guru's disembodied voice reminding Aang to let go of his attachments to become all he needs to be...then BOOM! Baby boy is back on his feet, chakra unblocked, he kicks Ozai's ass, I'm crying hysterically on the floor, as are the rest of us, and he wins. Then at the end of the series, instead of a kiss, he gives Katara an apology. She accepts, everyone else comes to join them on the balcony, cinematic group hug, camera pan into the sun. I don't know lol. Basically what I'm saying is that Aang did not deserve some deus ex machina. He deserved to grow and become his best self like everyone else got to.

5. Aang should have heard differently in The Storm

Katara is a very fate-minded person and this is when I saw potential for her to become a toxic character in regards to Aang. When he admits that he ran away from home 100 years ago, Katara tells him that that was basically a good thing because he was meant to be here and now. Like...no? What Aang did, though understandable for someone so young, was still wrong. Yes he would have maybe been killed but I'm like 10000000% sure they had a plan to protect and evacuate the literal avatar. And what was technically "meant to be" was a new avatar. But hey, what's done is done and kicking Aang while he's down is a no-no in this household. But that doesn't change the fact that Aang needed and deserved honesty. Maybe the fisherman could have said this, I don't know, but I feel like Aang should have been told by someone that although running away was wrong, it's a blessing he and Appa were able to survive and be able to help save the world now with his amazing friends found-family. Maybe this is too harsh, and maybe even outright wrong, but I felt like Aang deserved a truer answer here to support and comfort him.

6. MAILEE!!!!

Do I even need to go into detail?

7. Spiritual sigh*

Don't make me go into detail -_- I will say though that although Aang and Katara are both amazing individuals capable of earth shattering things, they were not a healthy fit for one another. This is evident in the original series and especially in their children from LOK. They both deserved the best but better than one another.

8. ZUTARAAAAAAA

This is a Zutara blog you KNEW this was coming, as it should. There's just too much. There's too damn much. I would give a real paragraph to this too, but, I mean, there's already so much proving that this was the pair. Fics, metas, rants, this site. Scroll through my blog or any of the ATLA related blogs I follow and...dude. These two were meant to be together and I'll mourn the narrative brilliance WASTED for no good reason every day for the rest of my life. No reason these two shouldn't be married with three kids. sob. I will take this part to say thank you to the amazing fic writers that gave Katara, Zuko, Mai, and Aang what they deserved that the writers didn't have the guts to give them themselves. Next point tho.

9. AANG AND ONJI

Good God almighty. Why not this? WHY NOT THIS? I'm putting on my bullet proof vest and I'm going to say this; Aanji is cuter than Zutara. Now before you scorn me or whatever, let me explain. Zutara for me is like steak. No. Chicken parmesan. I like chicken parmesan better. The point though is that Zutara is savory. You know? I don't see them as cute, I see them as Obviously. Aanji on the other hand is like a bag of my favorite candy. They are like a brownie. A cookie. Girl Scout Samoas!...I don't know what words are anymore. This post got way out of hand. I guess what I'm saying is that for Zutara, I scream, but for Aanji, I squeal. I hope that makes sense. But here's the main point I want to make. Onji never knew who Aang really was. And Aang was always, at his core, himself. She very obviously had a crush on Aang for his personality and that was crazy cute and frankly preferable to Katara's "I...guess he is." (you know exactly what I'm talking about) Anyway, I kept wanting more of them together. I wish all the time that we'd gotten to see her again, with a more fleshed out character and all. And in the way that I imagine the show should have gone, she could have been the perfect love interest for Aang, during this episode or way later, even in the comics! Another WASTED opportunity for greatness and I will, again, never recover T-T

10. Iroh get your ass back here

Maybe this is a misguided critique but I hated that Iroh just left Zuko alone in the fire nation at the end of the series. Baby was in trouble in every sense of the word and Iroh was just like "See ya! You got this nephew." I'm expected to believe that? I'm expected to accept that? No no no. He should have at least stayed for a few years to help Zuko stay upright and, you know, alive. And by "upright" I don't mean "good." I just mean been there to support him because Lord knows he needed it, at least in the beginning of his reign. It was cute that Iroh was able to settle down with his own teashop after all those years of violence and mourning and running and this and that. I was more than happy for him for being able to have that peace finally. But I still think it could have waited a little while longer so he could support Zuko.

That's it I guess. I know not everything I've said makes the most sense in one way or another, but I enjoyed putting it together all the same. Thank you for reading and have a great day. I'll go finish my final now.

(Edited for a typo)

[tinyboxxtink]

"Black Magic" *Part 5*

Heyyy ladies and gents, I might go out later but I'm gonna post a FEW chapters tonight, see if I can get them edited fast enough. I want to try and do a "day" a chapter, if you know what I mean.

Also- Really?! No one said anything about the Raul reference?! Was it too cheesy? Also there was a Charmed reference in there if you missed it.

Part 6

Part 4

Tag List:

@bookishfanfic

@stars-in-the-skies-world

@omgsuperstarg

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@gibbs274

@milkshqke

@wanniiieeee

@word-scribbless

@objection-argumentative

@aprildecker-blog

@lolliepopsicle

@madamsnape921

@stars-trash-18

-----

You couldn't wait to get to work the next day. You rushed through the lobby and bounded into Rafael's office. He was standing there talking to Liv. Oh god. They both turned and stared at your dramatic entrance.

"Uh….Y/N, are you ok?" Rafael asked you with a bit of concern in his tone.

"Oh yeah no I'm fine Rafa," you nervously smiled, and to your horror his face became even more confused.

"I'm sorry, did you just call me Rafa?" He raised an eyebrow, glancing at Liv, who had a triumphant smile on her face. He didn't remember. It was over.

"I knew it…" she whispered with a smirk.

"Knew what?" Rafael turned to her

"....I knew she'd try to get friendly with you, she's had a crush on you forever," Olivia quickly came up with a diabolical plan on the spot. Your face fell, you felt yourself turning pale as he turned back to you.

“Is that true, Y/N?” He asked you point blank.

"I...I…" you stammered, unable to think of how to get out of this situation. Then you saw his thermos.

"I'll get your morning coffee, boss," you went and grabbed the thermos off his desk, then hurried out the door, slamming it behind you. You tried desperately not to cry as you headed down to the break room.

------

"Liv that was a little harsh," Rafael gave her a look, nothing the evil smile she had.

"What? She was being insubordinate! Calling you Rafa like that…"

"Right because only you can call me that," He smirked.

"Well I'm the only one who does," she pointed out. "And we're so close, she must have thought of she stated calling you that maybe you'd fall for her.”

"...you're nutty you know that?” He shook his head with a laugh.

“But you love me anyway,”. She gave him a tongued smiled.

"I do," he chuckled, gripping her hands .

----.

In the break room you tried to calm yourself down before going back up to Rafael’s office. You focused on what Chloe has said last night. He was already in love with you. You just had to draw it out

That was going to be exceptionally difficult now that Olivia knew you had done something. She's never gonna leave you alone with him. No she has to. I mean what is she gonna do, stay in his office all day? You'd just wait until she left. You filled his coffee and returned to his office this time knocking before you went in.

“Come in,” You heard him call through the door. You went in to see Liv had left. You looked up at the sky and mouthed a “THANK YOU.”.

"Here you are Mr. Barba." You handed him the coffee nervously.

"....Y'know I kind of liked it when you called me Rafa, Y/N." He gave you a smile. But not the normal office smile you were so used to...it was a smile you had only seen yesterday. Maybe….

"Oh. Um, yeah sure ok ...Rafa," you smiled back.

"I'm sorry I haven't said it before. I guess I shouldn't be so…"

"Snobbish," you chuckled remembering yesterday. Then suddenly remembered HE didn't remember yesterday. You looked at his once again stunned face, and you once again slapped your hands over your mouth.

"Oh god I am so--” You started to apologize, but to your relief he slowly started chucking that soon turned into a full laugh.

"Yeah, something like that." He shook his head while still laughing. He looked at you, catching your glance. He stopped laughing and just stared at you for a long moment.

I need you to remember today….

"...Do I have something on my face?" You started to rub your face embarrassed.

"No, I just…." He narrowed his eyes, inspecting your face as if he was trying to recall something. "I think I...I had a dream about you last night,"

You blushed, your heart fluttered. This was it, it was happening. It was really happening

"A good dream, I hope," you joked, trying to keep calm.

"The best," he smiled dreamily. Your face lit up, was it REALLY happening? Right now?

"Rafa, I--" You started to go for it.

"I'm sorry I don't know why I said it like that," he shook his head with a laugh. "I'm sure it was nice though,"

Nope. Not now.

"Right, I'm sure," you smiled, trying to hide the fact that you were dying inside.

"Are you okay?" He was actually paying enough attention to you to realize you were faking it

"What...yeah no I'm fine," you lied. "I just um, I didn't sleep well last night,"

"Oh. Well, feel free to make yourself something from my machine," he offered. He had never offered that before, his machine was too precious and too expensive to waste on anyone else.

"...Seriously? But that thing is your baby," You asked him astonished.

"...Something tells me I've been too focused on my 'things' lately," He chuckled.

"Oh well thank you sir,"

"Rafa carino, por favor," he said nonchalantly, then immediately stopped and looked at his desk in shock that those words fell out of his mouth so easily. You started at him equally shocked. Maybe this would be easier than you thought. You decided to run with it, maybe prodding more memories

"What's that mean?" You quickly asked. He stared at you for a second, still trying to figure out why he had called you that.

"It um--," he cleared his throat nervously. "Nothing," he lied. "It's just a word like amigo or kid"

Your face scrunched. Why would he lie? This is it. This is why you didn't know before. He's been trying to hide it!!!!!

"No it doesn't," You challenged him. What were you doing?! Was it totally smart to provoke him like this? What if he fired you?

"I'm sorry?” He asked, stunned.

“It means honey or sweetie, it's a term of endearment," You spit back the explanation he gave you yesterday.

“How do you know that…?” He was beyond suspicious.

How indeed. You raced your brain trying to think of a plausible reason.

“My best friend is Latina. She calls me that all the time,” You lied. Well, kind of lied. Chloe was Latina and spoke spanish, but she had never called you carino.

“….Then why did you ask me what it meant?” He kept suspicions.

“I wanted to see if you'd admit it,” You smirked at him. He was shocked. You had never been so informal with him, so bold, so snarky.

“….What has gotten into you, Miss y/l/n?” He suddenly asked you in a very “boss” like voice. Shit. He was pulling rank on you. You pushed too far.

"I…" Your smirk fell, your voice fell soft.

"That must have been some shit sleep you got. I suggest you go get caffeinated, compose yourself and come back more professional," He spat.

“...Y-yes sir.” You bolted out of the office.

As soon as you were gone, Rafael began to pace in his office. Why had he called you that? And so casually and easily? He was usually so careful about showing you any kind of favoritism or affection, it was highly unprofessional. And besides, you were too young for him. He couldn't be like a kid with a crush.

----

After you came back you both kept quiet and professional. Exchanging only pleasantries and things, Both lost in your own insecurities and feelings. Finally at the end of the day you went into his office quietly .

“Well if you didn't need anything else sir, I'm going to take off.,” You said meekly.

“Y/N wait,” he got up and walked up to you. "I'm sorry about this morning, I misspoke and I shouldn't have taken it out on you,”

“Oh.” You weren't thrilled that he stuck to his denial of feelings, but at least he was chill again

“Oh it's fine,” you talked nervously.” I should have never been so flippant,”

“No no, actually it was quite refreshing,” he smiled. “You're usually so quiet and timid, I like this side of you,” He stroked your hair, then instantly realized what he was doing and stepped back. What was happening?!

“Ahem so I’ll see you--” He started to say goodbye, but he noticed a penguin charm you had dangling off your phone in your hand.

“Penguins,” He whispered.

“I’m sorry?” Your heart fluttered again.

“I love penguins,” He just said softly, almost as if in a trance.

“I know,” You went for it again.

“What? How do you know that?” The moment fleeted again, his memory long gone.

“Oh um,” You bit your lip. “I mean, who doesn’t love penguins? They’re adorable,”

“Indeed,” He nodded with a smile. “Always so dapper in their--

“Tuxedos,” You finished his thought. He stared at you in shock for the fiftieth time that day, but once again it flushed into a beautiful smile.

“Right,” He nodded again, still smiling.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Rafa," You smiled, a genuine flirty smile. At this rate you'd be right back where you were yesterday in no time.

Rafael just stood staring at the door after you left. What were you doing to him?

----------

As he walked out of his office, Olivia met him at the door, holding a cup of coffee.

"An apology latte," she smiled apologetically.

"I should get mad at you more often," he chuckled, taking and sipping the latte. He made a face.

"What?" Olivia's face turned to panic.

"Nothing, just kind of a weird aftertaste," he shrugged.

"Oh maybe they decaff’d you," she laughed nervously.

“Maybe…” He stared at the cup suspiciously.

“How about dinner? On me?” She offered, hoping to distract him.

“Sure….” He shook off his suspicion and smiled at her.

They walked arm in arm, Rafael was oblivious to the evil smile crawling across Olivia's lips.

----

You went home floating on cloud nine. When you walked in the door Chloe was folding her laundry. When she saw you she smiled hugely at the door.

“So.. how did it go?” She grabbed your hand and pulled you to your couch.

“It was amazing. He didn't remember yesterday, but I think he has some idea of what happened. And I think it's drawing his feelings out!!” You clapped your hands together wildly.

“Girl that's awesome!” She giggled. “Well tomorrow you'll just have to look amazing. See if you can draw more out,” She grinned.

You went to bed feeling more hopeful than you had in a long time.

-------