#I mean. you're right on the mark

[gengarghast]

Hey, Tumblr?

What the fuck????

[sysig]

Chewtoy (Patreon)

[attractthecrows]

damn it. now i need to design a Rook so i can actually do something with this mental image of the collective look on Rook and Solas's face when Nessie refers to Solas as "that old fart"

[orkowhereheshouldntbe]

[ID in ALT!]

Hey everyone,

As of January 20th, I'll have been running orkowhereheshouldntbe for two years. It's been so much fun, and I've learned so much about photo editing and media. But I don't feel like I can keep up with the daily posts anymore, and I don't want to keep half-assing things in hope the spark comes back. In other words, as the bio warned, the joke's gotten old.

That's not to say this blog is going away - I plan on leaving it up, and I'll still take requests and suggestions. I may even make a post of my own here and there when the mood strikes me. But I think taking the burden of daily posts off my shoulders will help.

I could never have anticipated a one-off inside joke like this becoming such a big part of my life, or taking up so much of my time. I'm proud of myself for managing to keep things going this long, even with the breaks I've had to take. And I'm endlessly grateful for all the love and support I've gotten on my posts. I'll have a special video on Saturday, to commemorate the blog's anniversary, and as a gift for all of you.

This isn't a permanent goodbye. It's just a change from how things have been. <3

[viledevilcunt]

though that does actually remind me of something i wanted to talk about. i see people go on about how "mental illness/trauma/abuse doesn't make you an asshole or abusive and saying that it does only further stigmatizes those disorders!! that's your choice to make!!!" and usually follow it up with "look at me, i have xyz and I'M not an asshole!!!!"

except...it does. it absolutely can. when you're not taught any different, when you're never given any tools to learn how to regulate, when you're in my situation - and i sincerely hope that no one is, despite how extremely unlikely that may be - people do not react like they do on TV or in fanfiction. no amount of stomping your foot and screaming and reblogging posts with tangents about how edgy someone is for experiencing anger, hate, frustration or any other "negative" emotion is going to change that. you want to shame or embarrass them into silence, into behaving like a proper victim should, or for them to set their jaw and be a survivor who sets a good example for others; that doesn't always happen.

again, this isn't fanfiction. i know your ao3 history and lack of ability to relate to or understand anything you don't agree with might tell you differently, but in real life there is no book or website that you can sit down with for 10 minutes and get all the answers on how to suffer nicely and look pretty while doing so. sometimes years and years of therapy doesn't fix everything (ask my 10+ doctors.)

you don't have to have empathy for these people, but maybe ask yourself why people who have been through bad things may react poorly or lash out without brushing them off as "oh clearly they're a stupid faking bitch whose never had anything bad happen ever" and why someone reacting differently than you makes you so angry

[serendipitous-mage]

......... who's gonna tell him ... .. ill do it @markiplier

[jademint2581]

lmao i wanted to edit gashu to have shiny eyes and a smile but it's barely noticeable

what the heeelllll i love this gorgeous old man

[danthropologie]

idk about you but I'm really not liking all this l**do talk about going to red bull and how helmut is after his agent and his dad and how he's SO FUNNY MUCH TROLL and started to follow them... I don't like it

i agree with you but here's the thing-

1) lando would literally never in a million years. mclaren is literally built around him and him alone, in what world would his fragile ego allow him to leave that dream scenario just to play second fiddle to max. and that's not even getting into the zak/quadrant or his dad's team investment of it all!! plus with the silverstone result, you just knooooowww he's fully back in on the bullshit zak brown has been selling about properly challenging in 2025 (if he was ever truly on it to begin with, which i doubt 😭)....and at that point, again, why leave just to be second to somebody else

2) helmut marko is squarely to blame for this entire fucking NVD situation. both the hiring AND firing were his doing, it was his idea to go outside of the red bull system based on one (1) single result, and at that point you have to wonder if he has enough leverage in the team right now to be pushing for yet another outside hire, especially when you've got christian (and camp verstappen!) seemingly backing daniel, who's quite literally waiting in the wings

[amphibious-thing]

"It was that lone hit which gave rise to the stories, including the one claiming that Saint-Georges had lost out of gallantry to a "lady fencer." No final score was ever mentioned, except by the two novelists, though it is possible that the famous hit immortalized by Robineau's painting, might have later induced even D'Éon to assume that he had beaten Saint-Georges that day.⁶⁴"

~ Gabriel Banat, The Chevalier de Saint-Georges, p298

Note 64: "In the end, D'Éon came to believe that he was actually a woman". Kates, Monsieur D'Eon, 291.

Wow Banat, implying a trans woman is delusional, really?

Perhaps people assumed that d'Eon won the match because her one hit is the only hit that was mentioned. Read the following contemporary newspaper reports and tell me who you think won?

Mademoiselle D’Eon exhibited a curious spectacle at the assault which was performed before the Prince of Wales last Monday. The novelty of a Lady in petticoats engaging the most experienced and able masters of the noble science of defence, excited universal pleasantry. Those who were not perfectly acquainted with the Chevalier’s history stood in amazement, and even such as had formerly known her en culottes, were not a little surprized at the skill she displayed in fencing with Mr. St. George. Her petticoats did not incommode her in the least, and it was very clear that this retired Captain of Dragoons is much more expert at the riporte than a curtsey, and handles a foil with more grace than she does a fan. The assault upon the whole proved highly entertaining, and the satisfaction of the company was not a little encreased by the affability and engaging condescension of the Prince of Wales, than whom no man possesses more the spirit of elegant hospitality, and the captivating manners of the polished gentleman.

~ The London Chronicle, 2-14 April, 1787

The most remarkable occurrence of the fencing match at Carlton House was the assault between Monsieur de Saint-George and Mademoiselle D'Eon, the latter though encumbered, as she humorously declared herself, with three petticoats, that suited her sex much better than her spirit, not only parried skilfully all the thrusts of her powerful antagonist, but even touched him by what is termed a coup de temps, which all his dexterity could not ward off. We hear that a celebrated painter has undertaken to hit off the semblance and attitude of the hero and heroine in this very interesting scene. Mademoiselle D'Eon had modesty enough, on her hitting Monsieur de Saint-George, to set it down to his complaisance; but the latter candidly declared that he had done all in his power to ward against it. A gentleman present assures us that nothing could equal the quickness of the repartee, especially considering that the modem Pallas is nearly in her sixtieth year, and had to cope with a young man equally skilful and vigorous.

~ Reprinted in The Strange Career of the Chevalier d'Eon de Beaumont by John Buchan Telfer, p309

[crystal-verse]

Me giving g'raha two beauty marks, freckles, and ears perked up all the time: as a treat

[peaceblank]

I wish the MCAT was a paper test instead of on the computer, I just find it so much easier to mark up the passages with a pen and highlighter than with the digital tools.

[fakeoldmanfucker]

...the way that Andrew Garfield in Tick Tick Boom is playing Jesse Eisenberg in The Social Network...

[enniewritesathing]

memory management (heartless 4)

⏮️Previous || (📚Previous Stories) || Beginning ▶️

⚠️ The following update contains the following triggers: death, blood, gore, strangulation, needles, gun, violence.⚠️

The Werewolf: "You fuck with my heart and I'll pull yours out!"

Mark: (panicked) "What are the fuck are you doing, Thomas?! You heard him! Stay in here and we'll live!"

Thomas: "And wait for him to waltz in here and kill us too?! I-I don't think so! He said he was gonna spare Dan and look what's happening!"

(He gulps.) "Daniel's a goner but Charles still has a chance! I-I can get him out at least!"

Mark: "With that?! Are you out of your mind? That's not going to do anything to John!"

Thomas: "I have a plan!"

Mark: "Thomas, please; this is suicide!"

Thomas: "Contact the guards and stay put!"

Mark: "No--! Oh my god."

(Mark gasps and covers his mouth as the doors close behind Thomas. He's all alone. The guards won't be here at a bare minimum of twenty minutes!

The Werewolf: "Before I kill you, I've got some things to say to you. Things that I have noticed. You had so many chances. Too many. And yet here you are; this could've been avoided. I heard you earlier."

(Daniel turns his head, glaring.)

"Didn't think I could do that, huh? Been doin' it for years. And you wanna know what I've noticed? You're a goddamn hypocrite. All this talk of being honorable, that you're helping... you're no better than anyone else. You think you have principles; you don't. You still did what you were told."

"And you know what else? You guarded that piece of shit; you didn't even try to come to your partner's rescue. I'm sure you saw that despair. The disappointment. You should be ashamed, Daniel. What do you have to say to that?"

(Daniel's drowning breaths are rapid as he summons the strength to speak.)

"F-fffuu---" (His curse is lost as blood gurgles in his mouth.) "Fuck you!"

The Werewolf: "Hm."

(The Werewolf shoves his hand deeper into Daniel's chest and leans close to his ear.)

(He speaks in a low, soft tone.) "That's the thing about you, Daniel; I don't think you get it. You're a coward. No. No, you're a pussy because you keep getting fucked all sorts of ways. Look where it got you. Your honor. Your sense of self-preservation. Your cause. Your blind loyalty to this man."

"This is your reward. You must realize that."

"I'm paying back for what you did to me. Do me a favor and die already, you worthless pussy."

(The Werewolf pulls his hand out and lets Daniel fall to his knees. He was dead well before this, but that doesn't matter to the lycan. Not any more. It's one less thing to worry about. He's kept his promise.)

// Next ⏭️

[chososrightnipple]

❝𝗷𝗷𝗸 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀 + 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗸𝘀❞

a/n: i'm going insane guys anyway love u all mwah <333333 afab body but no gendered language btw!

part two.

── დ ──

. *. ⋆ GOJO SATORU

▸ creampies. please just let this man cum inside of you omg he'll go insane. seeing the way his release leaks out of you afterward has him ready for another round almost immediately.

▸ dacryphilia. "you crying'?" says it all right there. he'll coo, a bit mocking, and wipe at the tears running down your cheeks.

▸ size difference. he's so big compared to you. his height, his hands, his dick. he gets off on it so hard seeing you have to look up at him :(

▸ praise (giving + receiving). he'll charm your panties off if you really want, just make sure to let him know how good he's fucking you, too.

▸ overstimulation. hand in hand with dacryphilia. he's not done with you until he's shooting blanks and you're a weeping mess below him.

▸ breeding. listen.. he needs an heir for the gojo clan. he'll fuck you into the mattress for hours on end- he just wants to make sure his baby takes, that's all.

▸ orgasm denial. he's a cocky man, and he knows it. he loves the exhilaration he gets controlling your orgasm, making you beg for it before he gives you any satisfaction.

▸ pussy/thigh/boob jobs. he wants to put good use to all of your body.

. *. ⋆ GETO SUGURU

▸ choking. the feeling of you swallowing as his large hands cusp at your neck is like a drug to him.

▸ begging. seeing you so compliant under him as you plead and cry for his touch... those pretty little eyes and wobbling lip. it's mean, he knows that. he just couldn't care less.

▸ sense deprivation. tying you up and blindfolding you, giving him all that power? he goes crazy for it.

▸ degradation. you wanna be fucked like a slut, he's gonna treat you like one.

▸ edging. when he's feeling really mean, he'll edge you for hours. until you're shaking and whining and the only word you can get out is a broken moan of his name.

▸ impact play. he loves waking up and seeing the red imprint of his hand on your ass oh my godddd don't get him started.

▸ hair pulling (receiving). he wants you to tug at his hair, card your fingers through it, pull it as you're riding his face!!!

▸ sadism. pretty much hand in hand with everything above. he's such a mean boyfriend but he knows how much you love it.

. *. ⋆ CHOSO KAMO

▸ biting. your shoulders, neck, and thighs are full of his teeth marks, almost perpetually. and of course he's not gonna complain if you leave a few bites, too.

▸ begging. show him how much you want him, how badly you need him, and he'll fuck you as much as you want. you just gotta put in a little work first.

▸ worship (giving + receiving). seriously this man worships the ground you walk on from the moment you wake up to the second you fall asleep. he just asks you worship his cock the same

▸ overstimulation. he's fuckin you until his legs are giving out from under him and you're nothing but a fucked out, drooling mess being pressed into the bed.

▸ blood play. i mean... i think this is a given.. will purposefully bite down too hard just to lick the blood clean as an apology.

▸ orgasm denial. he knows once you cum, it's over, and he just wants to stay sat in your pretty pussy a little bit longer- you understand that, right?

▸ somnophilia. his favorite breakfast is in between your thighs. besides, you don't think there's any better way to wake up, anyway.

▸ voyeurism. pleaseeee pleaseee pleaseee let him watch you masturbate it's all he needs in this world !!!!!

. *. ⋆ SUKUNA RYOMEN

▸ anal. he needs to claim every hole your body has to offer. plus true form sukuna is a slut for his double penetration just saying

▸ choking. hearing your choked gasps as he squeezes your throat could make him cum on the damn spot. watching your eyes roll into the back of your head as each second passes on.

▸ exhibitionism. no, he doesn't care that there are other curses around and no, he doesn't care if they can see. you're his, and he'll fuck you anywhere he wants to.

▸ extreme bondage. watching your poor, writhing little human body tug at your restraints uselessly is something he'll never get tired of.

▸ collaring. he'll even get his name custom engraved, just so everyone who looks at you know exactly who you belong to.

▸ degradation. he's a mean thing, but you seem to enjoy that for some reason. he savors in the way you clench around him every time he calls you a whore.

▸ edging. you're not allowed to cum until he's says so, and anything before that? you're in for one hell of a night.

▸ predator/prey. let him chase you through the woods as foreplay. he'll inevitably catch up, of course, but seeing you attempt to get away is so cute to him. especially when he's had enough of the teasing and is pinning you against the nearest tree.

[in-class-daydreams]

Imagine ex-husband Gojo having a brutal rivalry with your son.

You'd promise your now eighteen year old, "Sen, your father and I didn't part on bad terms. It would be nice if the two of you could get along."

Sentaro would scoff, crossing his arms and leaning in the kitchen doorway. "Strongest sorcerer in the world and couldn't protect his wife?" You touch a hand to the large burn mark on your chest. Sen watches the movement and shakes his head. "Like I could ever get along with a guy like that."

~

Imagine your son is the splitting image of his father, save for how his hair grows in black, then fades to white when it grows past the roots.

"You have my pretty face, but I don't know where you got such a shit attitude." Sen would be face to face with his dad while he was on business at Tokyo Jujutsu High. Satoru would look him up and down. "I know for a fact that your mom never taught you that."

Sen's face would contort into a look of disgust. "Don't act like you know her."

"I know her in ways no one else ever could--"

Uncle Suguru would be forced to intervene before everyone got to find out what happens when two hollow purples collide.

~

Imagine Satoru still loves you - he never stopped, of course - and visits you at the house while your son is on a mission.

"You miss me, don't you, mama?" he'd murmur in your ear while he has you crowded up against the living room wall. "You have a little mini me running around, so I bet you think about me all the time, huh?"

He'd be right of course, but life was so hard for you and your son after the divorce that you're reluctant to start up anything again. You'd always love Satoru, but you hadn't seen enough of him to know if he'd changed since you were last together. That said, it's hard to remain rational when the love of your life presses his lips to yours.

You won't get enough time to consider, however, since your ex will have been ripped away from you and sent flying through the opposite wall. Your son, just as tall as his dad, will be standing protectively in front of you, fists clenched tight.

Sen wouldn't look at you when you gently touch his broad back in an attempt to calm him down.

"Don't get too close, mom," he'd say with gritted teeth. "The old man's about to learn he's not the strongest any more."

~

Click [here] for more of Sen being mean to his dad | Ask stuff about Sen and the fam [here]

[orcboxer]

Sure there's zombies killing and eating people on the street but those people are not dying from the virus they're dying from comorbidities. For instance, that guy we saw getting eaten on the way into work today clearly died from blood loss, not infection, plus he already had a heart condition. People with preexisting conditions are just going to have to take care of themselves. Say it with me, "They're all already dead to me." See, that feels a lot better now doesn't it?

Good because you still have to go to work. No we're not paying you extra. Yes we're doubling grocery prices. No you don't qualify for disability. Or healthcare. Or a home.

Look, if you get bitten, you can stay home for one day, I guess 😒, but then you need to come in early. We're really short staffed at the moment, despite our company's profits being higher than ever. In fact we may be laying some of you off next month. You don't mind working off the clock right?

Also you look silly with that protective gear. We're gonna harass you for it, not like institutionally but just socially. Who cares if a zombie attacks you? Who cares if we invite them into the building? You don't need to defend yourself, you're just overreacting. If you get bitten just tell everyone the festering bite mark is from a different animal, that's what we all do.

And hey, don't worry so much. It's endemic, which means we don't have to keep track of how many people are dying from it anymore. Just look at those numbers! It's only killed 2,000 people in America this week! That's basically nobody! We're back to normal!

If everything starts tasting like rotting meat for the rest of your life, it's probably something else. If you experience brain fog or you forget things constantly or you're tired all the time after even minor physical activity, it's just because you're lazy. Yes every other virus you ever get will also be increasingly worse but that's just a coincidence. Those viruses just happen to be exponentially worse now.

Plus, those few weeks during the lockdown were terrible for my mental health. I just can't keep living like that, so we have to go back to normal life, which now involves people biting each other and twitching uncontrollably and rotting visibly.

You can't expect the world to wait for you. "Already dead to me," remember?