#I mean when talking about Jamil there's also that tangle of servitude / modern slavery / whatever you wanna call his situation that just su

[viperwhispered]

30 days of twst challenge - day 4: First fav VS current fav?

So.

Malleus was definitely one of the reasons that drew me into the game in the first place. I saw some cool fan arts, got into the game, enjoyed his voice and his looks and all that.

Then book 4 happened.

Well, the Scalding Sands event actually coincided with me reaching book 4 of the main story. Which... it was quite the switches in mood to read the first part of the Scalding Sands event, read book 4, and then going back to finishing the event. At this point, I had also seen Jamil in the latter half of the Halloween event (alas, the first part with the magicam monsters and things I just about missed and still haven't read, tho I've seen some bits).

Already when reading the first parts of the Scalding Sands event, I was commenting to a friend how relatable Jamil seems in certain aspects, even if I don't share his fondness for shrewdness (and I'd like to think I'm a bit less of a busybody than he can be).

Reaching the overblot only made those relatable aspects more obvious. Like, even with the en translation version of things, the whole thing of having to hold back, not being allowed to show your skills and competence hit me so hard. Like every other overblot until book 4, my reaction was basically "yeah you've gone through sucky things but your actions still suck". And like, not that I can approve of Jamil's way of going about it either, but also, I found it really hard to judge him for it. Because like, had I been his shoes? No way would I have been able to handle that pressure or dealt with the situation any better. Just the whole not being allowed to show his skills and getting recognition for it would've succed so bad, since admittedly my competence is one of the things that is quite integral to my sense of self.

So with Jamil, more than any of the previous overblotters, it felt like I just got it and felt for him more than anyone else.

Add in the pressure to conform, too, and the way he's been raised to behave in certain ways (no matter whether the pressure comes from, exactly, depending on if we're looking at the en or jp version of things), and like... yeah. I just want all the best things for him, and the freedom to be himself.

Plus ngl, in like book 6 or the Glorious Masquerade for example, I've really enjoyed Jamil letting himself be more schemy or just more authentically himself. It's been fantastic and I just want more. Not that I'd necessarily agree with some his choices if we were talking irl, but seeing it happen in a story like this is just delicious sometimes.

Now, to circle back to Malleus after that Jamil ramble. He certainly surprised me with being more of a softie than I anticipated, and very much a teenager in some ways despite the occasional maturity. There's an interesting contrast there which perhaps makes me view him less through the romantic option lense (which admittedly I'm wont to do), but still makes me curious to learn more about him. Admittedly, I've yet to get started with book 7, and I've read less of Malleus's stuff than I have of Jamil's, but he's still hanging on in my faves. Just, book 7 would need to do a whole lot of work to dislodge Jamil from the top fav spot at this point.