#I lowkey want to make Penelope's dress for myself now

[fragolinaa]

Drew Odysseus and Penelope first falling in love, now have their long-awaited reunion.

Also I'm imagining her saying "You're as beautiful as the day I lost you" to him like Stoic does to Valka

[pathologicalreid]

gemini | S.R.

two emotionally wrought people collide at a wedding, and a sexual escapade ensues.

part two

who? spencer reid x fem!reader category: smut (18+ mdni) content warnings: softdom!spencer, use of the term "good girl" (i couldn't help myself), unprotected sex, reader on bc, alcohol, spoilers for 14x15 truth or dare, lowkey idiots in love, fucking against a wall?, fingering, heavy petting, r has an oral fixation, r is wearing a dress and makeup, explicit consent (hot), public sex, i think that's all word count: 3.42k a/n: this is a little self-indulgent and i don't care! based on literally just the first line of the song gemini by del water gap. probably not ever gonna get a part two. i've never done angsty smut (smangst?) before, so this was fun.

so, here's the setting, we met fucked up at a wedding

Swirling the drink you held in your hand, you watched your friends as they chatted. The pink liquid in the cup, concocted by Penelope Garcia, was far too sweet for your taste, but you needed the liquid courage to make it through the wedding.

It wasn’t that you weren’t happy for Krystall and Dave. It was that weddings oftentimes left a bitter taste in your mouth – one so bitter that not even Penelope’s drink could offset it.

In your periphery, you saw a blur of purple in the corner, looking up to see Spencer. His hand still bandaged from his most recent brush with death, he used his free one to grip a glass of water. Raising your eyebrows, you gave him your best attempt at a smile before you greeted him, “You look good, Dr. Reid.”

He was fully donned in his favorite color, and you tried to pretend that you didn’t notice that your dress matched the purple hue of his suit. “Thanks,” he said shortly, not quite meeting your eyes.

Noting the way he was looking past you, you demurely leaned your head down, glancing over your shoulder so that you could see what he was looking at, only to see JJ. She looked gorgeous in her red dress, laughing at something her husband said before her eyes caught something.

She was staring back at Spencer, and not for the first time, you found yourself wondering what happened in that pawn shop. Bringing your eyes back up to Reid, you watched the confused look in his eyes bloom as he peeled his eyes away from JJ.

Sick of it, you spoke up, “Alright, I had dibs on being the mopey one tonight. What’s wrong?” You had wanted to brush it off as long-lasting nerves from the hostage situation, but he was acting strange.

You knew you weren’t his best friend, that was a title that JJ had been the reigning champion of since the beginning of time. Yet, you still noticed the rigidity in Spencer’s shoulders as he displayed a clear discomfort with his surroundings. You tried to think of something to say to him. How could you ask him if he wanted to get out of here without it sounding like a sexual proposition?

“JJ told me she loved me,” he said, his voice so low you weren’t even sure you had heard him correctly.

Your head snapped up, “Oh.” Swallowing thickly, you tilted your head curiously, letting loose hair tumble to the side. “Do you love her?” Likely not the right conversation for the wedding of everyone’s favorite right-person-wrong-time couple, but you were desperate for a rope to pull yourself out of your wallowing.

He took a sip of his water before setting the empty glass on the bar counter, “I did.” The admission hit you like a ton of bricks, until her continued, “but now…”

Filling in the blanks, you shrugged, “She’s married. They have kids.” Spencer was always doing the right thing, so pushing his feelings aside for the sake of JJ’s family made the most sense.

Furrowing his brows, he pondered this for a moment before speaking, “It’s not just that. I have feelings for someone else.”

“Oh,” you repeated, and somehow the thought of him being in love with an unfamiliar figure hurt more than him being in love with your mutual friend.

The both of you let the conversation lag, watching as Penelope came back up to the bar and poured more drinks. After she accused you of being boring for not wanting another drink, everyone returned to the tables. “Have you dated anyone since him?”

You choked on your newly acquired water, cupping your hand underneath your jaw in an attempt to stop water from getting on your dress. “Uh, no. I’ve kind of sworn off dating ever since,” you replied, shaking your hand out and letting water droplets fall to the floor.

Sighing, you slouched in your seat, remembering that all you’d ever be was a jaded bride. Left by your fiancé on the day of your wedding, doomed to never love again. Until you met Spencer Reid.

“For everyone?” Spencer asked, and you cursed his natural curiosity.

His question caught you off guard. Despite yourself, you shook your head, “I have like… one person who, if they asked me, I’d say yes.” Your skin started to feel warm, and you weren’t sure if it was your proximity to him or Penelope’s drink coming back with a vengeance.

Spencer stepped a little closer to you, leaning casually on the counter as if he wasn’t affecting your ability to focus. “Who’s your person?” The question was innocent enough that it made your heart ache.

“It doesn’t matter, he’s into someone else,” you told him, reaching behind your neck to pull your hair up, haphazardly twisting it. You didn’t have a hair tie, so you let the locks fall once you felt some semblance of relief.

This statement seemingly bothered Spencer because he looked into his glass, “Did he tell you that?”

Nodding, you chewed on the inside of your lip. “Yeah,” maybe not in so many words, Spencer was rarely crass enough to say he was into someone, but you understood well enough.

The conversation lagged between the two of you once again, your own private thoughts were only interrupted when the music changed. It was a slow song, one for the couples of the night to dance to.

You took a chance, “Do you want to go explore the building with me? It’s getting stuffy in here,” you said, taking one final swig of your water before jumping up from your stool.

He looked back at JJ, who was there with Will, and then forward to the girl who was asking to take him away, “Yes.”

David Rossi had spared no expense for his second wedding to his third wife, and the manor that you found yourself meandering within felt never-ending. Something about following Spencer as he led the way and told you facts about the history of the building felt so normal, and you wondered if it would hurt when the night was over. Maybe this would just end as another memory to loathe about weddings.

Trailing him into another room, you stumbled into his back. Quickly, Spencer spun back and caught you before you could fall to the ground.

Steadying yourself, your heart thrummed at the way he was touching you, tightly holding your waist so that you wouldn’t trip. Once you were no longer wobbling, Spencer reached up and gingerly lifted the fallen spaghetti strap of your dress back over your shoulder. Before you had fully thought out your actions, you leaned up on your tip toes and kissed him.

It was hesitant and gentle, but once you registered that you were kissing him you soon realized that he was kissing you back. What started out as a small peck on the lips quickly morphed into full, open-mouthed kisses.

You thought Spencer might eat you alive, and for a moment, you thought you might let him.

Without separating your lips, he herded you over to the wall, pinning your hips to the wall as you felt heat grow between your legs.

Pulling at your bottom lip with his teeth, Spencer pulled away ever so slightly, your faces just inches apart. “Is this okay?” He asked you, his eyes flickering down to your lips like he was holding himself back from kissing you again.

There was fear. A fear that if you moved forward tonight, nothing would ever be the same, but you took a chance  and nodded quickly, “Yes.”

Your answer acted as a release as Spencer dropped his head back down and the two of you reattached your lips. Despite your attempts to ignore it, you felt his hardened length pressing into you through several layers of clothes.

Twisting your head away, you gasped as Spencer took the opportunity to place his lips on your neck, gently suckling on the tender skin as you tried to catch your breath. “Are you sure about this?” You breathed, running your hands underneath his suit jacket, wanting nothing more than to push it off of him.

“Yes,” he answered, giving you the same consent that you had already given him, and it was enough for you to reach for his belt buckle. No matter how badly you wanted to see him entirely bare in front of you, this just wasn’t the place for it.

Gently, you slid your hand down his front, savoring the way his breath hitched against your neck as your fingertips precariously lifted the waistband of his boxers. He gently nipped at your earlobe as you wrapped your hand around the base of his cock.

You let your head fall backward, allowing him better access to your neck as you moved your hand. Moving your hand up so that you could swipe your thumb over the tip.

You dragged your other hand down, pulling his boxers down so that you could get a good look at what you were working with, and biting your lip at the sight of it. Slowly, you started to pump his impressive length, noting how his breathing patterns changed with your movements.

Dragging a knuckle up the underside of him, he dropped his head to your shoulder as you collected his pre-cum on your index finger on your way up, bringing your hand up to your mouth and licking the droplet off, peering up at him.

“You’re so good at that, baby,” he told you, sighing as he reached up and placed his hand on the side of your neck, skimming his thumb over your jawline as his free hand started to make its way up your dress, pausing when he only met bare skin. “No underwear?” He questioned, furrowing his brow at you as you bit your lip, trying to refrain from pressing into his hand.

Whimpering almost indiscriminately, you shook your head, “Couldn’t, panty lines would show under the dress.”

Spencer hummed in recognition, moving his hand up to cup your sex so that you could feel your own wetness on his hand. A pathetic whine escaped your throat as your walls clenched with need, still stopping yourself from grinding on his hand. “What do you need?” He asked, a teasing lilt in his voice, “Come on, you can tell me.”

“You, please,” you answered, your voice dangerously bordering on pleading. “Your hands, anything,” you squeaked out, breathing heavily as you awaited his next move.

Gently, he slipped a finger inside your wet hole, causing you to release a satisfied sigh. “You’re so wet,” he whispered in your ear as you tilted your head back and pressed your lips to his.

As his hand picked up in pace, so did your breathing. With each movement of his hand, you struggled to keep your volume at a respectable level, small whimpers continued escaping you even as you bit down on the inside of your lip. “Spence,” you whined, moaning aloud as he slipped a second finger into you, “Oh, god.”

The silence of the room around you only exacerbated the wet sounds that were emanating from your sex, and if it didn’t feel so good, you might’ve been embarrassed. In fact, as you felt a familiar coil winding in your abdomen, you found that you didn’t have the capacity to feel anything other than pleasure.

Crying out, you nodded as Spencer continued to thrust his fingers in and out of you, “Fuck,” you said, caring less about your volume levels. Even less so when he responded by pressing the heel of his hand against your clit, the pressure proving to be enough to send you over the edge.

“It’s okay,” Spencer whispered in your ear, “Let it go for me, baby.” His words continued as you felt your walls spasming around his fingers, his ministrations had slowed, but he worked you through your orgasm before withdrawing his fingers and lifting them up to your mouth.

Accepting the invitation, you leaned forward and sucked the sweet juices off of his hand, slipping your tongue between his two fingers as you looked up at him. You half expected him to be watching you with lust-blown eyes, but he was watching you just as attentively as he had when you started this escapade.

He retrieved his fingers from your mouth with a satisfying pop and reached down to ruche the fabric of your dress up around your waist. “Wait,” he said suddenly, gripping the silky cloth, “I don’t have a condom.”

Your eyes widened and you shook your head, “I don’t mind.” Still breathing heavy from your previous orgasm, you shook your head again, “I mean. I’m on birth control – and I’m good at it. I mean I keep up with it.” Now babbling, you hoped he’d say something. “I’m clean. I trust you.”

Nodding in understanding, he placed a hand on the side of your neck and looked at you intently. “I’m not going to do anything until you catch your breath,” he told you, taking up an authoritative tone.

Blinking rapidly, you evened out your breathing as he ran his hand up and down your torso, “I’m sorry,” you whispered, taking another deep breath as you looked up at him.

Spencer shook his head, “Don’t be sorry.” He leaned his head down, pressing soft kisses down the side of your neck as you finally pushed his jacket off of his shoulders. “You’re so pretty,” he murmured, leaning down to grip the backs of your thighs.

“It’s okay if you can’t lift me,” you rambled quickly, getting his attention as you aired your concern.

He raised his eyebrows expectantly, pressing his hips into yours and lifting your feet off of the ground. The leverage that he had, along with the support of the wall behind him, allowed him to get both of your feet off of the ground. You would’ve spent more time being impressed by this feat if you weren’t so distracted by his painfully hard cock that had now slipped between your folds.

Leaning down, you desperately kissed his lips, wanting him to give you those open-mouthed kisses that you had started out with. Instead, you cried out when, without warning, his full length slipped into you.

Placing gentle kisses on your collarbone, Spencer murmured, “Are you okay?” He whispered, seeming like he was using all of his self-control to just stay still.

You nodded, feeling his cock throbbing so deep in you that you were almost afraid you’d come from just that pressure alone. “Been a while,” you murmured, taking a deep, shaky breath.

He hummed in understanding, “I’ve got you, take your time.”

His words filled your stomach with butterflies, and it wasn’t just because he was fully sheathed in you. “Spence,” you whimpered, “Move.”

On your cue, Spencer gave a tentative thrust, permitting your resulting moan to mix with his grunt. “Fuck, baby,” he said, continuing to thrust in and out of your cunt, filling the room with the crude squelching of your actions. “I’m not going to last long,” he informed you.

Throwing your head back in ecstasy, you moaned helplessly when Spencer dropped one of your legs to the ground, hooking his arm underneath your other knee, providing a new, deeper angle. You swore as the sensations started to feel overwhelming.

The new angle gave him more control over his movements, enabling him to use his free hand to pull at your breast through the fabric of your dress. As you tugged gently at his hair, you tilted your head back, “Spence, I- shit,” you cursed, recognizing the tell-tale signs of your second orgasm approaching.

If it weren’t for his words of encouragement, you would’ve been embarrassed by coming too quickly, and if anything, the words only spurred you closer to the finish line. “Come for me,” he said, thrusting harder into you as he tried to reach the same point. “Let me know how good I make you feel,” he said, continuing his thrusts until his hips stuttered.

“Coming,” you whimpered, dropping your head forward onto his shoulder as you felt your walls tightening around his hard length. Crying out as he continued to pound into you, you buried your face into his neck and nipped at the skin to muffle your sounds.

Now he was solely working toward his own orgasm, having given you two of your own. “You’re such a good girl,” he panted.

Suckling gently at the skin on his neck – not hard enough to leave a mark, you littered kisses on his sensitive skin. “Come in me, baby,” you murmured, trying to spur him on.

Your success was apparent as his movements faltered and his cock started throbbing, feeling the pulses of his cum as it filled you, your eyes rolled back at the feeling while Spencer slowed to a halt, waiting for a beat before he pulled out of you entirely.

Shuddering at the emptiness you now felt, you leaned against the wall once both of your feet were on the ground. As your legs trembled, you watched as Spencer crouched to fish something out of his jacket, leaving you with your mixture of fluids running down your legs.

As he grabbed the handkerchief from his breast pocket, you gasped slightly as you realized his intentions. “Spence, you’ll ruin it,” you insisted.

“Would you rather go back out there with my cum dripping down your thighs?” He asked, knelt in front of you with his brows raised in mock innocence.

Swallowing thickly, you shook your head, “Jesus.”

He chuckled, using the handkerchief to wipe up the mess the two of you had made on your legs before carelessly tossing it into a nearby trashcan. Noting the way your legs were still shaking, he lifted your chin ever so slightly, “Are you alright?”

Nodding, you offered him a tired, but genuine smile. “I’m great,” you told him, wiping underneath your eyes where you were sure there was a mess of mascara.

Taking your hand in his, as if it was the most normal thing in the world, Spencer led to toward the French doors that led to the balcony, taking you out into the fresh air.

As you leaned up against the railing, Spencer shook out his jacket and draped it over your shoulders, doing his best to keep you comfortable. “Hey,” you whispered, “I really am fine. Are you? How’s your hand?” In all of the hormones, you had forgotten about his injury.

Spencer nodded, looking over the property that Rossi had rented. “I’m good, Y/N. I feel good.” You wished he’d call you baby again, but maybe that was too much to ask for. His eyebrows furrowed.

“What are you thinking about?” You asked him, recognizing the look from years of working together.

He hummed, reaching up and sweeping a strand of hair off of your forehead. “That guy? The one who told you he’s into someone else? I can confidently say he’s an idiot.”

Flushing, you smiled to yourself at the fact that Spencer was calling himself an idiot, especially when he was anything but. Shrugging, you waved him off anyway, “Nobody’s perfect, Spence.”

“No, I suppose not, but even so…” he told you, allowing his voice to trail off like he wasn’t totally sure what he wanted to say to you. “If he can’t see what’s right in front of him, then maybe you need to turn your attention elsewhere.”

Sighing, you leaned your chin in your hand, “Thanks, but I don’t know. Maybe there is better out there, and I’m just not worth it.” No, after tonight, you’d likely never get over him. It might’ve started as a workplace crush, but you felt in your heart that it was now something deeper.

Spencer shook his head, “Now, that’s where we disagree.”

“Spencer, I can’t-“ Your voice is cut off when you hear someone calling your name from inside the building, smoothing out the front of your dress one more time, you step back into the room, coming face to face with JJ.

She smiles in recognition of you, but the grin immediately fades from her face when Spencer walks out behind you, “Hey, we’ve been looking for you guys,” she said flatly. “They’re about to cut the cake.”

Nodding, you took another quick look at Spencer before following the blonde out of the room, leaving your secret in the room behind you.

part two

[reidrum]

all yours if you want me | s.r

pairing: spencer reid x bau!fem!reader

a/n: i think i really like this but if i proofread it one more time im gonna hate it so im just putting it out now lol. this is the full version of the sneak peak i posted last week woohoo ! also this is my first time writing smut so im sorry if it sucks but i hope y'all like it <3

summary: bau's got their first day off in weeks, and you're heading straight to the club to have some fun, you just didn't expect your coworker/crush to also be there while you're trying to forget him.

cw: 18+ minors pls dni, smut, p in v (dont be silly wrap ur willy), munch!spence, lowkey softdom!spence, suggestive dancing in public spaces, minor insecure reader, reader is afab and wears a dress and heels

wc: 4.6k

pls let me know if i forgot anything and let me know your thoughts pleaseee xx

it was the first friday night off you and any of the team members of the bau had in a long time, and you all were determined to spend it well. jj and hotch immediately went home to their families, penelope and emily decided they were going home to get some well needed rest, rossi went to a cigar club, not really sure what derek and spencer ended up doing, but you knew what you were doing tonight.

you’d had a long standing invitation from one of your college friends for a club night, and at first you’d decline because you’d get swept away on a case, and because you were hopelessly pining after your hot nerdy coworker dr. spencer reid.

spencer was smart in many ways, three PhDs, countless published papers, not to mention that eidetic memory of his. there was one thing that spencer was just fucking dumb at, and it was your shameless flirting at him.

like it annoyed you how clueless he was. you’d bring him coffee in the mornings with hearts drawn on it, fall asleep on his shoulder on the jet rides back, even complimenting his outfit or looks which made him flustered, but still nothing. your harbored crush seemed to stay just that, a crush. and while you’d hope he would get the hint he just hasn’t.

so you pull out your phone to text your friend. 

“barry’s at 9?”

“oh my god FINALLY. i’m there i'll pick you up at 8:30.”

you grin to yourself, this was good. you needed to get out and unwind for once.

you drive home quickly to hop in the shower before your friend comes to get you. throwing on a silk slip dress as your outfit of choice, you slipped your heels on and met your friend in the car.

walking into the club, you’re met with the thumping bass of the music playing and the staunch smell of alcohol, sweat, and sex.

it made you think about the last time you got laid, which was a really long time ago. and honestly you wanted to sleep with spencer so bad you hadn’t been making advances elsewhere. but that was going to change tonight, you were determined to have good slutty fun, and hopefully get laid.

your friend grabbed your hand and beelined to the bar, ordering two tequila shots each. once you downed them you moved to the dance floor and started preying for a target. as you’re scanning the room, you notice a familiar looking mop of brown hair standing next to bald headed man. a combo you knew all too well.

-

derek morgan was a player. and before he’s a player, he’s a damn good friend. which was his reasoning for dragging spencer out of his apartment to come out to the club and have fun.

“but i can have fun at home by myself morgan.”

“kid, you need to let loose once in a while. you are young, i’m just helping you take advantage of it.”

-

so now spencer’s at the club (a sentence he still struggles to believe) wearing trousers and navy button down shirt to which morgan had popped the top buttons open because ‘it gives the ladies a sneak peek’. he just rolled his eyes and went with it. he’s nursing a shirley temple at the bar, perusing the environment when he comes across a pair of eyes he knows like the back of his hand.

when you recognize the amber eyes you couldn’t believe your luck. of course, on the one night you’d decided to explore other options he shows up in the least expected place for him to be. so much for getting over him, you think. shyly raising your hand to wave, spencer returns the gesture. morgan takes note, “who are you waving t- oh, pretty girl is here huh pretty boy?” he nudges him.

a blush raises on his face. spencer thought you were attractive, like really attractive. you were a great addition to the bau and he admired your work ethic a lot, the day you walked into the bullpen wearing a fitted pantsuit had his own pants growing real tight. he still remembers when you introduced yourself and he couldn’t even get up without exposing himself. you thankfully didn’t think it was weird, and spencer was relieved when it was finally time to go home. he’d be lying if he said he didn’t have nights where he wished you were the one finishing him off and not his rough hands. he didn’t think you’d like someone like him, and took all of your ‘advances’ as morgan calls them, as acts of kindness.

morgan laughs as he watches spencer’s iq deteriorate to below 50 staring at you, “do you what you gotta do man. but you better be going home with someone tonight okay?”

spencer nods and nurses his drink a bit and looks back to morgan to realize he’s already off dancing with some girls in the corner. damn.

after your distanced encounter with spencer, you decide it’s time to move on and have some fun on your own. you couldn’t be hung up on him anymore, at least not tonight. tonight was for bad decisions.

good thing bad decision walked up to you asking to dance, whatshisname leads you to the dance floor and puts his hands on your hips, swaying to the beats of t-pain and pitbull.

you didn’t know, but spencer was watching every move you made. he watched you get led to the dance floor, the way he placed his hands right on your ass and squeezed, and how he turned you around so you were dancing on his front with your back. he gripped his glass so tight the bartender had to tell him he’d have to pay if it breaks.

he gets it, you’re attractive. this is the kind of thing that happens to people who look like you. who wouldn’t want you? but then he watched it happen a second time. and a third. and a fourth and fifth, till he just stopped counting at nine for his sanity.

spencer was not used to the green monster taking over him, but oh god was he fucking seething with jealousy.

you realized spencer was watching you by whatshisname number five. he hadn’t moved from his spot and he was constantly staring in your direction. deciding to do a little experiment, you played up your dancing a lot more, acting more flirtatious, dragging the guy’s hands further down, and letting out open mouthed moans that you knew spencer couldn’t hear but could definitely see. you watched as his jaw shifted and his knuckles turned white as you danced with each guy, realizing the growing effect that you now had on him.

by whatshisname number nine, you casted your hook. making sure to face spencer and meet his eyes, you watched as they darkened when he realized you were looking right at him. spencer might’ve brushed it off as a coincidence, but then you winked at him. and he realized what you were doing—you were taunting him, and fuck was it working for him. the bulge in his pants grew uncomfortable that he had to stand up to not draw so much attention to it under the bar lights. 

you watched him stand up and adjust himself and you threw your line. when he looked back up at you, you made a come here motion with your index finger and a bite of your lip. spencer’s eyes darkened impossibly more, he paid for his tab and strode over to you.

sinker.

he pulled you from the man behind you, who muttered a ‘what the fuck’ and moved away. spencer pulled you flush to his chest and with a low voice in the crest of your ear he whispered, “what do you think you’re doing?”

“i don’t think i know what you’re talking about dr. reid, could you explain it to me?”

spencer tightens his hold on you and ghosts over your ear once more, “this is a dangerous game you’re playing, sweetheart.”

“a game you joined the second you walked over here.”

he looked at you with a mischievous glint in his eyes, and matched the small smirk on your lips. game on.

the song changed to something with a more sultry beat, and you used the opportunity to wrap your arms around his neck and let his hands guide your hips to the music. while he wasn’t much of a dancer, he could definitely keep a beat. it didn’t prove to be so difficult when your chest was pushing up on his own that he was just waiting for them to spill out. he realized he could feel your hardened nipples through your slip, the nubs rubbing friction through the fabric of their clothes. he moaned internally while he gripped your hips to pull you even closer. it was clear spencer seemed to be getting comfortable with moving your body and holding you close, but you couldn’t let that happen.

before the second chorus you turn around in his arms so your back is pressed up against his front, and you start dancing on him.

spencer’s taken by surprise, something you felt when his hands faltered the confident rhythm it kept up, and while he watched you dance just like this with all those guys it’s like his mind is blank now.

you recognize the song playing, collide by justine skye & tyga, and use the sultry beat to your advantage. you move your ass hard on his front, feeling his length pressed between your cheeks. you gesture for him to lean his head down and he lets out a low groan as you whisper in his ear, “all that for me?”.

a primal instinct starts to take over spencer’s being, and he grips your hips to meet his rutting from behind. spencer was desperate for any friction that could soothe the growing ache in his pants. you grinned as you felt take what he needed from you. it was quickly wiped off your face when you felt his hands inching dangerously close to where you really wanted him.  you place your hands on his with surprise and look at him, “what are you doing?”

“i don’t think i know what you’re talking about, sweetheart,” he threw back at you, “but if there’s something you’d like me to do, i’m all ears.” spencer grazes his fingers under the hem of your dress, toying with the lace band of your panties and slipping his fingers below it to stroke your inner thighs.

fuck. he turned it on you so fast it almost gave you whiplash. the provocative dancing was something you could handle, hell everyone on that dance floor was doing the same thing as you both. what you weren’t sure you could handle was him about to touch you in a public space. but, your body betrayed you as it turned you on to another plane. you look up at him with lust filled eyes and let out a breathy moan of his name. spencer collapses internally and stands his ground, “if you want something, beg me.”

spencer thinks he’s won the upper hand, and he’s feeling so smug behind you. he still thinks he has the upper hand until you reach down and place his middle and index finger in your mouth, circling your tongue around the digits.

“touch me.” you moan out, releasing his fingers.

spencer is dumbfounded how he’s the one about to burst out his pants when he made you beg for him. it should make him feel embarrassed at how close he was, but he couldn’t find it in him to care. not when you in his arms pleading him to do something. you sounded so pretty, and who was he to deny a pretty thing like you?

his fingers continue their journey down, outlining the lace trim resting on your thighs. he hooks his fingers on the fabric to pull it aside and slips into you, going at an aching pace to gather the wetness and groaning out, “jesus, you’re so wet, was this all for me? you needed my attention that bad, baby?”

you whimper and grip his hand even tighter because you’re not sure if your legs are holding out any longer. it’s all so overwhelming—having his hands down your panties in the middle of the dance floor, the lewdity of the noises in your ear, the hard length pressing desperately on your ass. this is all you’ve ever wanted from him, to want you. and now it’s happening, and your brain can’t fire the neurons fast enough to process the moment. instead your body responded with your skin heating up with anticipation, heart beating out as much adrenaline to keep up. the daze is getting foggier by the second as he trails his fingers up and down your slit, spreading the wetness and circling your clit on the way up. and you think you’re about to get accustomed to the pace he’s set, when he delves between your folds and you moan out loud so abruptly that the nearby patrons looked around wondering where it came from.

you can feel spencer’s shit eating grin behind you as he moves his head down to leave love bites on your neck. if he can feel your bluff dissipating, he’s not saying anything. his fingers set a painfully slow rhythm, and you grind down trying to get any more friction to reach your peak. he’s hitting you in all the right spots that make you see the stars and beyond, leaning your head back on his chest as you barrel towards your climax. you feel yourself mere seconds away from reaching, and spencer suddenly pulls his fingers out, making you whine out in protest, “wh- what are you doing?”

spencer grabs your wrist and starts dragging you through the sweaty bodies surrounding you, tightening his grip with a small smirk as he passes a few of the guys you were dancing with earlier. suckers.

he pushes the doors open with a force and while the cool air is attempting to return your body to homeostasis, the anticipation of where he’s going overtakes you, “spence, where are we going wh-“ you cut off your sentence with a gasp as he handles you flush to the door of his car. then it’s just silence for a few moments. no loud bass or weird dudes, just the two of you. the only sound that can be heard are your breaths competing for prominence. you look up at him and focus on the details of his face illuminated by the moonlight, trying to read his expression. his honeyed eyes have fully darkened to a lustful hickory, and suddenly you felt like a gazelle being preyed on by a lion.

he reaches into his pocket and unlocks the car with a soft beep. it’s the focused eyes on you that drive you to open the door, but it’s the subtle silent nod of his head towards the car that makes you move inside waiting for him to join you. he climbs in after you, shutting the door and locking it.

spencer moves to the middle seat and allows his legs to spread open, he taps his thighs and faintly says, “come here.”

you shuffle closer and swing your legs over him, your dress rising up a little as you fully sit on his clothed crotch. and now you realize the corporeality of the moment. it’s like, really real now. all this time pining after the boy genius with no luck and now he’s got you in the backseat of his car and your panties crooked, waiting for you to move. the bravado you wore and so tightly held onto for a majority of the night comes crashing down like a shattered vase, and you’re not sure if you have any more in you to salvage the pieces. you may be a profiler, but try as you might you are not a mind reader, yet you so desperately want to know what he’s thinking. is it too much to ask what this means? will it overwhelm him to say you’ve dreamt about this moment for many nights, and how those dreams went on till the early morning when he’d stay and brush your hair back with a temple kiss. the whispers of sweet nothings sticking to you like honey as you got ready for the day. are these questions you even want to know the answer to?

you may not be a mind reader, but he is dr. spencer reid, who noticed your demeanor change after too long of a silence.

“hey,” he holds your chin delicately to your eyes, “it’s okay if you want to stop, i’m sorry for tak-“

it’s your turn to cut him off, “no! no i, i still want this, i just,” you falter.

“just what, baby?” he coos softly.

it makes tears well up in your eyes, you hope he can’t see them, “i’ve just wanted this for so long, and it’s probably embarrassing that i’m admitting this now of all times, but i don’t know if i can handle this meaning more to me than it does to you.” you confess quietly.

spencer listens to your admission and gingerly resecures his arm behind you, a position he thinks is starting to become second nature. he rubs soft shapes into the small of your back, “what makes you think that?”

“because i basically threw myself at you tonight, and it seems to be the first time you noticed me.” you say halfheartedly. 

“you think i don’t notice you?” he whispers, leaning in to leave soft kisses in the crook of your neck. spencer is dumbfounded, confused at how you reached such a conclusion. but as a man of science, he feels there’s only one way to prove himself. he breathes your name out, “can i show you how much i notice you? please?”

you nod, at least you could commit this moment to memory if it was all you’d have left of him. he presses his lips to yours for the first time that night, your breath faltering as he becomes more feverous with his attacks. slotting his tongue with yours, your hands move up to his silky hair to take purchase in. he lets out a groan as he pulls back from you, “i need to taste you.”

he guides your body to lean back on the center console, the only way his tall figure would be able to accommodate this position. your legs are still split on either side of his legs, using your hands to prop yourself up to watch his movements. he hooks his fingers on the sides of your panties and slowly slides them down, moaning at the way your slick causes resistance as he pulls them off your legs. wrapping his arms under your thighs to lift you up to face level, he places small kisses on your inner thighs as he makes his way to your core. he places a final kiss on your center before licking a long stripe up to your clit. moaning out wantonly, he continues his ministrations and kitten licks all over you, circling back up to your clit after each round.

“spence..” you whine out. he moves his focus to your clit, circling and sucking till you’re squirming in his arms so much has to grip your thighs. your hands are fussing through his hair, gripping and pulling to find something to ground you. spencer then slips his fingers into your core for the second time tonight, and you lose it.

he’s pumping his fingers in and out, that all you can hear is the squelching noises of your cunt. adding another one, you’re unable to stay still anymore, as if you were before.

“oh my fuck, spencer. i’m gonna cu-, cum. please don’t stop, don’t stop, don’t stop.” you moan out filthy.

spencer unlatches his mouth for a moment, “come for me, baby.”

your orgasm crashes down on you like a wave breaking on the shore. it’s all consuming, leaving you shaking and breathless and he lifts his head from between your legs and you see his chin glistening with you in the moonlight. the sight itself is so pornographic, you can’t help but shuffle back onto his lap to crash your lips back to his, tasting yourself on his tongue. he tangles his hands in your hair as you move yours between you both, unzipping his trousers to palm him through his boxers.

he breakily moans in your ear as you slowly pull back the band to take him out. the sight takes you by surprise, you knew he was big, you felt it on your ass while you were dancing. but seeing how it compared to your hand had you bulging your eyes.

“you’re so big,” you whisper. how the hell was that fitting inside of you?

spencer the mind reader places his hand on top of yours as you lazily stroke him, “we’ll go slow, don’t worry.” he can’t help but feel his ego inflate to the skies, he can’t remember the last time he had someone look intimidated by him.

nodding faintly, you gather the spit in your mouth and let it fall between you both to land on the flushed pink tip. you spread it up and down his length, setting a slow pace that had him moaning expletives in your ear.

“oh-, ohhh, fuck baby. you’re so good at that holy shit,” he says trying to hold himself together. you give him a few more pumps before lifting your hips up to guide him inside you. you move his tip to your entrance, rubbing it teasingly before spencer places his hands on your sides to stabilize you, and slowly sink you down onto him.

the second his tip pushes past your folds, you both moan out in harmony. placing your hands on his shoulders you leverage yourself to sink down further inch by inch, until your core is flush with the base of his thighs.

spencer is a man of many words, maybe too many. but right now the only word he can remember is your name as he watched you take his length whole inch by inch slowly losing any restraint he had left. the pressure his cock had inside of you was heavenly. you’d never felt so full, and you could tell he was trying so hard to stay still as you adjusted above him.

when you bottom out spencer throws his head back against the seat, “oh that’s it, good girl,” you clenched around him. “you okay?”

you nod in response, ignoring the way the term of endearment sent flutters to your heart, and attempt an experimental rock of your hips, causing spencer’s head to whip up and meet your lust blown eyes with his own. he adjusts his hands on the sides of your thighs and starts helping you move up and down on his length, setting a brutally slow pace.

you rest your head and moan into the crook of his neck as he continues his movements, “spencer, please, more, i can take it.”

he still can’t believe what’s happening right now, all those days he spent thinking about you in the bullpen, at home, everywhere really, and here you were begging on top of him to fuck you good.

“you still think i don’t notice you?” he says into your ear, “i have dreamt about what you’d look like bouncing on my cock, and you are blowing any idea i had out of the water.”

you whimper as he continues, “and when i’m not thinking about ruining you, i am in awe at how you walk through life. you bring so much joy everywhere you go, it’s a blessing to be able to experience you.” he says through shaky breaths.

the praise goes straight to core, with some traveling to your heart again, and you’re not sure how much longer you can hold on before you unravel physically and emotionally.

his hands are guiding you up and down at a harder pace now, “so,” thrust. “you still think,” thrust, “i don’t notice you?” he thrusts into you once more and holds you down, making sure you’re looking directly at him, “it was never an option to brush past you, you are everything to me. i didn’t know how to show that without overwhelming you. i’m sorry.”

tears well up in your eyes again, spencer notices this time and presses a small kiss on your forehead. all your senses feel like they’re in overdrive, unable to comprehend anything right now. your skin feels like it’s on fire as he rolls your hips faster to meet his ruts.

“spence, i- i’m so close.” you whine desperately. 

he slips his hand between you both to rub your clit, “i know baby, i’ve got you. let go for me.”

his words were enough to break the dam, your second climax of the night hurling towards you. the white hot feeling overtook your whole body, shaking and clenching above him. your grip on him was threateningly vicious, probably leaving deep crescent marks in the nape of his shoulders. you wish the euphoria would last forever if it meant having spencer like this. as you came down from your high, the two of you were still moving together, slowly rocking your hips to meet each other. once you were grounded again, you pushed through the sensitivity in your core to rise up on his length, just barely leaving the tip in before you slid back down fast and hard, now focusing on spencer reaching his peak.

“oh jesus, fuck.” spencer moaned out brokenly.

“come on spence you can do it,” you taunted as you clenched down, “come inside me, make a mess of me please.” a rush of confidence flowed through as you whispered into his ear, and spencer held your hips to help you bounce faster on him.

spencer let out a loud groan as you felt the hot spurts coat your insides, he was leaving matching crescent marks on the sides of your hips as the ones on his shoulders, making sure all of him was left in you. feeling him soften inside, you remained on his lap with him sheathed in you. you both are breathing heavily, leaning back to hopefully give you both some relief from the sex filled air. looking around the car you realize that all the windows are fogged up and let out a tiny giggle.

“what’s so funny?” he looks up at you slightly amused and very out of breath.

“no it’s just, the windows are such a dead giveaway for what we just did in here.” 

“eh, i don’t really care what people think.”

“gasp, dr. reid wants to let the world know he has car sex with random girls?”

he leans in to bite your neck playfully, “random? did nothing i said during all that register for you?”

you yelp and attempt to play dumb, “actually i don’t remember a word, you might have to jog my memory. maybe even recreate the circumstances to help with cementing it. i read about situational memorization where certain scenarios are easily remembered when there’s a big event to anchor it to.”

he swears he could’ve melted on the spot at you explaining a concept you’d read about to him, “careful sweetheart, calling it a big event might inflate my ego a little too high.”

“i mean, i can tell it worked,” you tease as you feel him harden inside of you again, “so tell me genius, how many times does a scenario have to happen for me to remember the information?”

“i guess we’ll have to find out, don’t we?”

[em-prentiss]

Since I’m joining you down the H/P rabbit hole, do you ever wonder about the other FBI agents who would have known Hotch when he would have worked for Prentiss’s mom and met Emily for the first time. Maybe an agent who also worked the same job. And for whatever reason, years later their paths cross with the BAU and the find out that Hotch and Emily now work together. What do you think the rest of the BAU’s reaction would be to finding out that baby Aaron and Emily were once acquainted? Imagine if that agent had photographs of baby H & P and maybe one of them together that even they didn’t know was taken.

Hmm I actually never thought of another agent seeing young hotchniss like that, mostly because I think many agents would scatter after that position, you know? But I can imagine an old colleague of Aaron’s who used to work the same shift with him one day coming into the BAU for whatever reason, maybe asking for help, maybe just wanting to catch up. He’d see Emily and recognize her instantly—because how could you work for the ambassador and not hear of or at least cross paths with Emily?—and he’d be like oh wow what a coincidence, never thought I’d see the two of you together again and the team would be like….what are y’all talking about. It’s such a fun idea, it would be wonderful as a fic.

I definitely think if anyone from the BAU knew about them, it would’ve been Dave, whether Aaron told him about her or he somehow saw them together back in the day. Even if he didn’t, I don’t think he’d be surprised to know that they knew each other—she’s just so different with him than everyone else, you can’t help but wonder. Obviously they’d all be shocked, but I think JJ and Penelope would be delighted of course and they’d immediately dig for details—and demand (lovingly) of Emily why she hadn’t told them. Morgan would be interested to know what Hotch was like back then and Reid would be completely disinterested in the whole thing lmao, but I think this extra piece of information would make sense of what he’s seen from them (nothing concrete, but a subtle comfortableness they seem to have with each other).

I also lowkey love the idea of them being in a newspaper or something. Like in one of the ambassador’s parties Emily is at the center and you could just catch a hint of Aaron standing next to a door. Or someone would snap a picture of them as they’re sitting on the edge of a balcony, legs dangling (he’d tried to get her down from it, but it proved fruitless so in the end he just joined her), free smiles on both their faces as she maybe told him a story of the stars (I am so obsessed with young hotchniss and stargazing, don’t even get me started). I can just imagine the way the ladies would gush over them, their brows raised in disbelief at Aaron’s relaxed posture and his smile—omg I’m cutting myself off here, but WHAT IF his jacket was around her shoulders to protect her from the breeze, because even though it’s summer her short dresses barely covered much. In conclusion the ladies would lose their minds, much as I currently am right now, and the guys would be subtly interested to know who exactly their old boss was.

Also I think it would somehow be even sweeter if hotchniss wasn’t established at that time. They were simply friends—lightly teasing, a little flirtatious—but at the core of it they found each other and just bonded deeply. 

This is such a lovely idea and it sent me into outer space, thank you xx

[tragicxensemble]

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Kinkmas Day 3 (Nsfw)

TW/CW: Formal Wear, Semi-Public, exhibitionism,

Disclaimer: Happy Holidays! [Getting straight into the smut]

Wc: 668

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JJ smirked at the sight of me. We had been out for dinner with the team and I currently had a vibrator pushed inside of me. I tried my best not to seem off but JJ was pushing my buttons. Literally.

“You okay R/n?” Derek tells me. “Y-yeah I’m fine. Just have a headache that's all.” You lied before glancing quickly at JJ again. “Oh, okay.” Derek was a little skeptical but brushes the encounter over his shoulder. JJ chuckles again as she turns up the setting of the toy, causing me to squirm.

I squeeze my thighs together trying not to give anything away. "Are you gonna cum sweetheart? In front of everyone?" JJ whispers in my ear. I nod quickly. "I can't hear you. Use your words sweetheart. I want everyone to know how much of a slut you are right now."

JJ was lowkey being an ass but you knew it turned you on even more. "Yes. I'm gonna cum." You whispered to her. You hide your face in JJ's chest. From anyone's perspective, it would have looked like your girlfriend was comforting you. Oh, how they were so wrong.

JJ turned the toy up to the highest setting, letting your orgasm flush throughout your body. "Fuck. JJ" You whimpered quietly as you tugged on the fabric of her clothes. JJ keeps the toy setting down as she rubs your back to calm you down.

"R/n and I are going to the bathroom. R/n isn't feeling too good." JJ lies. "Aw I hope you feel better babes," Penelope says with a small frown on her face. I fake a quick smile before getting out of the booth JJ following behind me.

Rushing to the farthest bathroom. JJ and I hurried to get there. Luckily there was no one there at the moment. She pulled me into a stall and crashed her lips into mine while pulling my dress up.

"JJ, please... I can't cum again." I whine, the pleasure fogging my brain. "Oh, sweetheart... I know you got one more in you," JJ pulled my panties to the side as she fucks me slow with her fingers, "Plus, you looked so cute while you came in front of the others.” JJ purred.

Moans slipped out of my mouth as I felt a similar knot in my stomach. “Ohh fuck JJ! I'm gonna cum.” I groaned. “Let go, baby. Come on-” Before JJ could finish she stopped talking, as she had heard someone come in the bathroom.

She turns the vibrator off and stops her fingers before she covers my mouth with her hand to stop me from moaning out; tears forming in my eyes as I was on the edge of cumming. The sound of the sink is heard as I let out a muffled moan.

“Hello?” JJ clears her throat for cover up the sound of me whining and says, “Sorry. Yeah I'm in here.” Then the person walks out with the sound of the door closing behind them.

JJ carefully frees her hand from my mouth. “I was so close JJ!” I whined trying to ride her fingers. “I know baby I'm gonna make you cum. You feel so good around my fingers.” JJ praises.

My hips and JJ’s fingers matched the same speed as she brought me to an orgasm. Letting me ride it out she slowed her pace before pilling her fingers out. “Open,” she commanded before pulling her fingers into my mouth, allowing me to taste myself.

“Good job sweetheart. You did so good.” JJ cooed. She let me catch my breath before taking the vibrator out of me and cleaning me up. She kisses my forehead before we leave out of the bathroom.

“Hey. Do you feel any better?” Emily asks me. “No. I think we're just gonna call it a night. I'll sleep it off.” I fabricated. “Aww I hope you feel better.” Spencer says. JJ and I said our fair wells then headed out for the night.

┈ ❆ ┈ ❆ ┈. ❆ .┈ ❆ ┈

[inkandpen22]

Permanent Chaos (1/?)

Pairing: MGK x Female!Reader

Warnings: Swearing 

Word Count: 2.8k

Part Summary: Y/N is a newly famous actress from a popular TV show and she’s willing to do everything in her power to maintain her perfect image as “America’s Sweetheart.” 

Masterlist

The limelight is a hard place to be under. It’s draining to constantly be on display. Day in and day out I feel as though I’m always looking into a mirror. However, a mirror is replaced by people’s eyes. I see myself through other’s eyes. Being sat on a slippery plastic stool while being watched by millions of Americans before they head off to work is an excellent way to start my day. Perhaps if I keep telling myself that I’ll eventually believe it. Savannah glances down at her cards then continues with the interview.

“Let’s go back to a year ago, if someone approached you and said “you’ll be the most sought after girl in America,” would you had believed them?”

I shake my head “not all.”

If only she knew how absent I am in the current moment. I’ve answered similar questions a million times these past few months. All the exact same questions within the same routine.

“Now, being as famous as you are, how do you cope with your newfound fame?”

There it is, famous. A better-sounding word than popular. After all, adult life is nothing like high school… right?

“I don’t particularly like the word “famous.” When people say “you’re famous!” What they really mean is “a lot of people know you!” At least people think they do.”

She studies me, intrigued by my honest answer, perhaps too honest. “You’re saying America doesn’t know the “real” you? Including your fans?”

I shrug, I can only imagine Nicole’s face right now. My usual bubbly and charmingly excited personality didn’t wake up with me at three this morning.

“I believe they know whatever version of me they’ve created. For some, I’m that girl from the cover of that one magazine they saw in line at the grocery store. For others, I may just a name without a face. That’s the thing about being so-called “famous.” I’ll never have the chance to meet every single person who has ever read an article about me or has seen paparazzi videos. They’ll only see those tainted versions of me. They’ll never have the opportunity to know me personally and make a valid judgment for themselves.”

Savannah hums, her eyebrows scrunched up. “How do you feel about that?”

I sigh, the words settling within me. “It’s disappointing.”

If only they all knew the truth, the reality of it all.

______________________________________________________

After the interview for the show, I fly straight back to Los Angeles from New York. My schedule has been worse, but I never miss the chance to complain to my manager. Thankfully, Nicole is a mother of tween girls and a ten-year-old boy so she knows how to take my childish whining. Once we’re landed in LAX I countdown the minutes until I can return to my bed.

“I don’t understand why you insist on wearing heels on the plane,” Nicole nags me.

“Because you never know who you’re gonna meet! Best to dress nicely just in case!”

It’s been a rule of mine since I first discovered my style and began to wear makeup, never go out in public without looking and feeling confident. I’ve learned that people can sense when others don’t feel confident and take advantage of that.

“I doubt your Mom would like it,” she nags.

“Well she’s not in California is she?” I fire back but snicker slightly.

My momma’s absence was bitter-sweet, in the beginning, now it’s all sweet. When we have our luggage, Nicole leads me through the airport to where the car is picking us up.

“You may want to put on your sunglasses now. We’re about to cross the line,” she warns.

I grab my glasses out of my purse like she instructed and slide them on. She was right, as soon as we cross over that taped line it’s a free-for-all for the paparazzi.

“Y/N!” “Y/N!”

“HEY! SHOW US A SMILE!”

The yelling doesn’t bother me as it used to in the past. Now, it’s the clicking. The clicking from their cameras. A constant *click* *click* *click*, from each of the thirty cameras. Nicole attempts to create a path for me by walking ahead.

“HOW WAS YOUR TRIP TO NEW YORK?”

“Good, thank you” I reply politely with a smile toward the tile floor.

I try to manage a balance when it comes to paparazzi. They have their job and so do I. Following me, taking pictures or videotaping me is their job. As long as they respect me, I will respect them. Nicole says it’s good for my image. My image wasn’t the first reason I was nice toward them, I was being myself. Nowadays, I’m hardly myself. I have my name, Y/N Voss, but it no longer feels like my name. The paparazzi are not used to getting easy responses out of people because there’s a long pause before the next question.

“WHEN DOES FILMING START BACK UP FOR THE SHOW?”

The question comes from a different voice but that doesn’t keep me from answering.

“In two days!” I gleam, looking forward to returning to set.

“CAN YOU GIVE ANY INFO ABOUT THE NEW SEASON?”

I chuckle a little but think it over. I agreed in my contract not to give out spoilers but there is a little info I was told I can let out. Plus, I’ve only seen the script for the first episode so I don’t know too much.

“I can say that Hollyn will have a bump start this season but no worries,” I answer vaguely but with interest.

Nicole and I manage to reach outside and she guides me down the sidewalk to where the car is supposed to pick us up.

“RUMOR HAS IT YOU’RE DATING SOMEONE! CARE TO COMMENT?”

“I’m very much single,” I laugh, finding the topic humorous. “Not enough hours in the day to share them!”

There are always rumors that I’m dating someone though none of it’s true.

“YOU LOOK GREAT TODAY Y/N!”

“YOU ALWAYS DO!”

“Thanks, boys!” I give my appreciation. 

The driver gets out of the front and pops the trunk. Nicole informs me to get in the car and let her worry about our things along with the driver.

“WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS FOR THE SUMMER?”

I open my door but pause to answer the last question. “Work, of course, but I also want to have some fun.”

“HAVE A GREAT SUMMER!”

“SEE YA LATER Y/N!”

They all hurry to get some last shots and I grant them a couple of seconds.

“You too! See you guys later!” I wave goodbye then climb into the car.

Nicole gets in a minute later and gives the driver the address. “You did great back there,” she compliments.

“Eh, it was nothing. I was only answering their questions.” I remove my glasses and get settled in as best as I can for the hour drive home.

She pulls out her binder full of scheduling material for me.

“Yes, but you were willing and kind. The public and media appreciate that! You’re becoming America’s Sweetheart!”

I would never admit it to Nicole but that title she keeps pushing makes me anxious every time I hear it. None of this was planned, it was thrown at me. Please don’t misunderstand me, I’m grateful for what I have but geez! When everyone is telling you a whole country adores you, how are you supposed to handle that? Especially at eighteen. It was no more than a year ago I was back in South Carolina and just another girl in high school. Now, I’m supposed to be “America’s Sweetheart.” I’ll play the part but it doesn’t make the job any less intimidating.

__________________________________________________________

My best friends/co-stars, Sam and Penelope, meet up with me for dinner to celebrate my first night back in town after the press tour. The three of us have been dividing our time around the country working on various projects between filming the show. Any time we can all get together is a gift.

Ever since I’ve known Sam Merka, girls flung themselves at him. Even I’ll say it, he’s a good-looking guy. If Grant Gustin had a younger brother, it would be Sam. I don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea, we’re just friends. A sibling sort of bond. Since he’s eight years older than me, he likes a big brother.

Though Penelope is older too, one can’t tell since I tend to act more mature. I’m jealous of her sun-kissed long blonde hair and dark brown eyebrows. We all kinda got thrown into our friendship. Having to play life-long friends an hour after meeting for the first time was, to say the least interesting. Five years later, and we are like three peas in a pond. A mini family to have each other’s back in the big city.

For dinner, we agreed on The Nice Guy, an Italian place in West Hollywood. The most important aspect of the place is the amount of privacy it grants. The interior is a lounge, super lowkey, with booths, couches, and coffee tables but there are no photos allowed. Since no photos can be taken that means the three of us and others can enjoy ourselves in peace. Sam called dibs on being designated driver as per usual as the “bodyguard” for us girls. The paparazzi tend to hang out around the restaurant because it’s a well-known spot for celebrities.

“Maybe we can slip past them,” Sam says optimistically as we exit the car.

He meets me around the front and Penelope joins us after getting out of the backseat.

“HEY! HEY! HEY!”

From in front of the restaurant, a ripple of cameras begin to take notice of us.

“IT’S THE KIDS FROM THE SEASONS OF LIFE!”

“Yep, we really snuck past them!” I tease Sam playfully.

He huffs, annoyed with the situation. Sam loves his job but hates the lack of privacy aspect. He isn’t a fan of crowds either which I can understand. However, he’s great at masking it behind his charming smile. It’s what we were trained to do. Yet, Sam is better at managing a crowd mentally overall than I am. He understands how they affect me sometimes. The swarm of photographers rushes up to us. Sam leads the way toward the restaurant door. Penelope remains close, keeping a hand on my forearm to stay together. The cluster follows us down the sidewalk to the building.

“SAM! SAM! HEARD ABOUT THE GQ PHOTOSHOOT! CONGRATS ON GETTING THE COVER MAN!”

Sam chuckles next to me, “thanks, dude!”

“PENELOPE! RUMOR HAS IT YOU’LL BE SWITCHING OVER TO THE BIG SCREEN!”

“Exactly, it’s a rumor!” She replies a matter-of-factly.

The *click* *click* *click* and the flashing lights in the dead of night never fail to overwhelm me. Though, Nicole has told me I never appear overwhelmed when I interact with them. I force on the brave and confident face. I’m not me when I’m in front of cameras or important people, I’m Y/N Voss. I’m two very different people.

While I’m lost in thought, I get stuck when one photographer gets too close to my face with his camera and blinds me for a second. Sam and Penelope don’t notice my absence amongst the chaos until another photographer barks at the other to back off. Then, I feel Sam’s hand slip into mine and he protectively escorts me toward the door with determination.

“ANYTHING YOU TWO WANT TO SHARE ABOUT HOLLYN AND ELLIOT FOR NEXT SEASON?”

Hollyn and Elliot are Sam and my’s characters from The Seasons of Life, the show we star in together. Our characters have been on again off again for the past two seasons. According to the last season’s finale, the two are currently together, but of course, the season ended on a cliffhanger so their relationship isn’t very stable.

“Sorry guys, can’t share anything!” Sam answers, sounding a tad irritable.

“ANYTHING IN REAL LIFE? YOU TWO WERE BOTH IN NEW YORK THIS WEEKEND!”

“That’s true, but we never have the chance to meet up!” I reply nicely.

Press events for last season have come to an end and work officially begins in no time! Downtime for me is filming and it couldn’t come at a better time. I’ve missed being home in Los Angeles. Living out of a suitcase and sleeping each night on a plane isn’t the best way to live, at least for me. We finally reach the doors and I thank the heavens.

“Oh my gosh! There’s no way!” I hear what sounds like girls squealing and I slow down to see where it’s coming from. My hand slips from Sam’s as he goes on. When he’s determined to get away from the paparazzi, he can ignore the voices. Yet, when he notices that I do not follow he finally stops.

“Excuse me!” A girl calls amongst the clicking and shouting.

The paparazzi move aside a tad and create a path for me to see two young teens jumping up and down. They must be around fourteen I’m guessing, younger than me at least. I approach them to see what’s the matter. I can hardly see anything with all the bright lights.

“Hi! How are you?” I greet but once I get closer and cover my eyes with the flashing lights, I recognize them. “Sarah! Emma! How are you two?”

These two have been some of my biggest supports. They run a Youtube channel and create content about their reactions to episodes of the series. Somehow they manage to make appearances at any events relating to the show. I’ve met them numerous times at events, so have other members of the cast. Besides being two of the sweets girls in the world, they’ve created a fan page for me on Instagram and Twitter.

“Good, good!” Emma replies eagerly.

“It’s been so long since we last saw you!” Sarah adds.

“It really has! When was the last time we saw each other? During the press tour?”

They nod in unison as though they’ve rehearsed it.

“Well, group hug!” I hold out my arms and they gladly accept.

“Can we get a picture?” Emma practically begs, bouncing on her heels.

“Of course!” I take Emma’s phone and hold it out to the crowd of paparazzi. “Could one of you take our picture by chance?”

Many of the guys offer and I select a random one in front of me.

“Squeeze in tight!” I tell the girls as I stand between them and we wrap our arms around each other.

“One, two, three!” The man takes a couple of shots and hands, Emma, back her phone.

“Thank you!” The three of us say together.

We all hover over her phone to check out the pictures.

“So cute!” I awe at the photos.

“Y/N...” Sam places his hand on my back to usher me along.

“Oh, my-” Emma covers her mouth.

“Sam!” Sarah’s jaw is to the sidewalk.

“Hey girls!” he charmingly smiles.

He’s had the chance to meet them a few times while on the press tour and at other various events. I was there to introduce them which was one of the most entertaining moments of my life. I thought the girls were going to faint!

“Can we ask a quick question? It’s for our channel!” Sarah nervously bites her lower lip.

“Yeah, yeah, anything for you guys!” I answer without hesitation.

Sam wraps his arm around my waist while we’re talking to the girls and I don’t think much of it but the cameras begin to go nuts. The men behind them don’t say a word since we’re occupied but there they go *click* *click* click*.

“Is there any hope of you two getting together IRL?” Emma questions intently without hesitation.

I press my lips together with amusement and turn my head to Sam. He has the same look of pondering the question. He squints his eyes at me and then the two of us turn to the girls.

“Just friends,” we answer in unison.

“Best friends!” Sam adds playfully.

“Best friends forever ever!” I one-up him.

The two girls laugh with us, but it’s clear they’re a little disappointed.

“Well, I still bet on you two,” Sarah confidently points out.

Sam and I get a kick out of it. Our viewers want us together too.

“We better get going, our moms are waiting,” Emma informs us.

“Okay, quick hug!” I order and the four of us group hug.

We say our goodbyes and when the girls disappear the men behind the cameras start yelling.

“YOU’RE GREAT Y/N!”

“HOW DID YOU KNOW THEM?”

“Their names are Emma and Sarah. They run a popular Youtube channel, Twitter, and Instagram accounts for the show. Super sweet girls those two!”

“DO YOU KNOW ALL YOUR FANS?”

“I try to! I know a good amount!” I grin proudly.

Sam guides me into the restaurant and his hand never leaves my back. All of it is platonic of course, nothing more. As I told the paparazzi before, there isn’t enough time in my life for me to share any with someone.

 ________________________________________

Masterlist

Tags:  @canyoubuymetoast

[thedeviltohisangel]

Whiskey In A Teacup/1

When Santi first got out of the military, he hadn’t known what to think of his options. There was always the option of giving up and going back in. The option to join a shadowy private military company. Go into private security. Go on the recruiting circuit. Maybe even become a cop. But none of them seemed like the best path. They all seemed like giving up. He had been trained by his country to be an elite, lethal machine. Being anything but the best felt like a cop out. So when an old friend of his reached out with an offer from the Secret Service, he accepted it on the spot.

masterlist is my url/writing or on ao3

send me any one shot requests for these two

When Santi first got out of the military, he hadn’t known what to think of his options. There was always the option of giving up and going back in. The option to join a shadowy private military company. Go into private security. Go on the recruiting circuit. Maybe even become a cop. But none of them seemed like the best path. They all seemed like giving up. He had been trained by his country to be an elite, lethal machine. Being anything but the best felt like a cop out. So when an old friend of his reached out with an offer from the Secret Service, he accepted it on the spot.

----

The election had recently ended with a brand new administration being ushered into the White House. Pope thought he looked cookie cutter. Like he was aging perfectly, his wife wasn’t aging at all and his family had all done Cotillion. He was in an empty conference room flipping through the personnel files that had been left for him before he waited for his friend to pick him up for whatever orientation he had to go through. 

“Santi! Glad you were able to make it in.” He stood and shook his friend’s hand, happy to have someone to talk to.

“Yeah and was cleared to read the briefing materials,” he answered as he dropped the folder back down onto the table. 

“Good. So the basics are out of the way. Now, I vouched for you hard with leadership and they want you on the detail. Close circle, last line of defense type of shit.

“Perfect. Exactly the stakes you know I’m cut out for.” 

“I know that. But the future First Lady doesn’t.” Santi furrowed his brow.

“Why does that matter?” His friend cleared his throat.

“She has requested she look every agent in the inner circle in the eye before they are officially assigned. Protective wife and mama bear.” 

“You’re not saying the debutante daughters are included in my assignment are you?” Santiago hoped he wasn’t. They looked like stuck up brats and he would rather join Will on the speech circuit than put up with attitudes like that.

“I’m saying the other agents have been tripping over themselves to try and get conversations with the older one.” His friend pointed at her picture on the table.

“That’s disgusting,” Pope whined. “How do I get her approval? I got to wait a week for an appointment?”

“Her and the daughters are at a photoshoot right now for the cover of Vogue. Said she would talk to you there.”

“Great.” It would be one of his more unconventional interviews but Santi was eager. Chomping at the bit to get back in the game. Feel useful again. Devote his life to something other than thinking about the past. 

----

The people allowed on the set were few. His friend introduced him to a few other agents and pointed to where the incoming First Lady was smiling for the camera.

“Let’s find somewhere we can wait for her to be done.” Santi kept his head down, smiling politely and shaking hands where appropriate, as they made their way towards the rooms in the back of the studio. There were two agents standing outside a door, nodding once as they let Santi and his friend into the room.

“Marnie, can you help me zip?” The female voice was coming from behind the dressing screen in the corner. Both men looked at each other, not sure what the appropriate thing to say was.

“Sorry, ma’am, we can go-”

“No that’s fine. I think I can do it myself.” Pope stayed silent as the woman, he thinks it was Penelope, stepped out in a beautiful blush pink dress that hugged her like it was made for her. He hates that his mouth ran dry and his tongue felt thick. But he pushed it aside as quickly as it came. “You’re new. And not in a suit. A friend of yours, Sam?”

“Yes ma’am. This is Santiago Garcia. Old Army buddy. He is here for a job interview.” 

“A pleasure to meet you ma’am.” Santiago extended his hand and Penelope shook it even though her eyes were rolling.

“So stupid she makes all of you talk to her first. But I guess that’s why I am not in charge,” Penelope shrugged. “I’m sure it will go well and I’ll see you around, Santiago.”

“Santi,” he blurted out before he could stop himself. “Just...Santi.”

“Santi,” she whispered like she was just testing it out. “The pleasure was all mine.” She smiled as she spun, the skirt flying around her like a Disney movie, and then she was out the door and gone.

“Isn’t she something?” Sam mused as he still stared at the door she had just disappeared through.

“Beautiful. And probably a troublemaker,” Pope replied. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” his friend teased with a slap on his back. The sad thing was, he thinks he did.

----

Penelope hated that no such privacy existed in her life anymore. It hadn’t for awhile but it had only gotten worse in the past month since her father won the election. Even now, lying in bed flipping through fashion magazines, there were people bustling in and out to pack her stuff for the move. People asking which fabric and color she thought looked best for her inauguration dress. If she liked this or that singer for the National Anthem and if she thought her peers would find this or that choice relatable. She answered with a smile and took it all in stride but couldn’t wait to shut the door and go to bed. But even there she dreamt of flags and men in suits and waving until her arm felt like it was going to fall off. There was no such thing as privacy and there was no such thing as peace. Penelope felt she was no longer her own person but everyone’s. They told her that’s what being in the first family meant. But she didn’t like it and she didn’t want it. 

“Ma’am?” It sounded like her new assistant on the other side of the door.

“Yes?” Penny had just started winding down for the night. Her face was soft from copious amounts of moisturizer. Her hair was fluffy after she took her time drying it. Her silk nightgown was kissing her legs with every step. She was tired. She wanted to curl up in a ball under a pile of blankets and dream of simpler times.

“Your new agent is here. I just wanted to introduce you before he started his first shift.” Penelope sighed and moved back towards her closet to find a knit robe that would help protect at least some of her humility.

“You can come in.” She recognized him instantly as the handsome man from the Vogue set. He looked even better now. Well groomed and in a suit that must have been tailored by an old school professional.

“Ma’am this is-”

“Santiago,” Penelope said before the introduction could be finished. “I’m glad to see the interview went well.”

“Thank you, ma’am.”

“We’re practically the same age. Any other title other than ma’am would work better.” He made her blush just by looking at her. It was tragic and sad. That she had to meet him like this. That he had to be someone that worked for her father. That he had to be stoic and professional all the time. That they hadn’t just met in a bar on a Saturday night or bumped into each other at a mutual friend’s backyard picnic. 

“Of course. I’ll think on it and get back to you,” he offered with a smile.

“Agent Garcia is on interior duty tonight but I am sure you’ll get used to his presence quickly, ma’am.” She didn’t bother correcting her assistant. She didn’t care what she called her.

“I look forward to it.”

----

“Alright let’s go over Polar’s schedule for the day.” It had been a couple of days since Santi had started and so far he was enjoying it. His fellow agents were nice enough and had a similar sense of humor to him. Many of them had even served and it was nice to swap stories with people other than the men in his unit. He was posted close to the action and was never really bored. Penelope was his principle. Her safety was his only priority most days and he was by her side at morning show appearances, fancy dinners with campaign donors and visits to DC elementary schools. Things were moving faster and tighter the closer they got to the inauguration. 

They hadn’t spoken much since his first night. Just nods and smiles as they made elusive eye contact throughout the day. She was beautiful. That was the simplest way for Santi to describe her. The most professional way. It was wrong but he wanted to know more about her. Learn what made her life. Made her cry. What she liked to eat and what she would order at McDonalds. Santi was someone full of life and warmth and love for those around him. Sometimes it was hard to be so cold. He hadn’t had to be so since he retired from the military. It was dredging up old feelings from the past. But he was more concerned how he felt more comfortable than he had before. How being alert and hearing radio static and a gun at his hip made him feel more at ease than the creature comforts of home ever could.

“We’ve got a pilates class, Skype call with a dress designer and then a private dinner.”

“Private dinner?” Santi hadn’t heard that on the schedule before and it made his ears perk up.

“She’s been seeing this guy-”

“Kind of a douche,” one of the other agents chimed in.

“-and it's very underwraps, very lowkey.”

“We normally draw straws or play rock, paper, scissors to see who has to take it.” Santi furrowed his brow as all the comments flooded his system.

“What’s so awful about a dinner date?” he asked, almost afraid of the answer.

“It’s the company she keeps,” one chimed in.

“He’s dull and chews weird.”

“Hurts to listen to and hurts to watch.” They all groaned in unison.

“I’ll take it then. The watching and listening part.” He was a low man on the totem pole anyways but he was also curious. He wanted to see this train wreck with his own two eyes. He took the file when it was offered, leaving the room when they were dismissed.

“Curiosity killed the cat, you know,” Sam muttered as he fell into step next to him.

“I know. This will satiate me,” Santi replied.

----

He stood dutifully by the car, waiting to open the door for Penelope whenever she was ready to go. The twisted part of him was excited to see how this night played out. Maybe it would at least be worth the good story. How the beautiful first daughter dated a slob and he was paid to be a third wheel.

“Santiago? I didn’t expect to see you here tonight.” Her fingers tightened around her clutch as she squared her shoulders to face him. 

“Yes…” he froze when he remembered he had agreed to not refer to her as ma’am.

“Still thinking of something else to call me?” she asked with a smirk. Penelope didn’t wait for him to respond and instead slipped under his arm and into the backseat of her car. 

The drive was dead silent. Santi felt awkward but knew this was a part of the job he would have to get used to. She wasn’t his friend. Wasn’t a girl he had picked up at a bar. She was his top priority in the least romantic way possible. He would take a bullet for her. When they arrived at the restaurant he moved swiftly to open her door and escort her into the dining room. They moved towards the back where a man was sitting alone. He looked like a college lacrosse player to Santi. In the most stereotypical of ways. His hands itched to pull Penelope’s seat out for her when her date didn’t, his eyes going to the menu instead of complementing the black dress she was wearing. Maybe he had been wrong. Maybe this was going to be torture.

[xsecretblastsx]

i1x16 - All about my brother

Last week was so busy for me and my brain was so fried I didn’t think I could do this until today. I’m excited to though to reach this episode, only two more two go and S1 will be done. So here we go.

As usual recap under the cut.

Thoughts I had while watching the episode:

This one of my fave uniform looks of Blair. I don’t even know why, but it is.

I so love the Jenny vs Blair dynamic. Because even if I’m rooting for Blair I can’t help but admire Jenny here.

Chuck and Bart are at the Bachelor party in Montecarlo, and he still calls Serena to see how she is. Brother and sis in the making.

Hello Georgina, oh sorry Sarah. Having watched the series already this is a plot I can’t help but roll my eyes at

Jenny telling Eric that he has a crush on her, actually that whole since she reminded me a lot of Regina George when she was fake nice.

Asher was really bad a hiding his relationship, like the dude is kissing his boyfriend right next to the school where anyone could see them.

I wonder who was Mr Spitzer and why he couldn’t be seated near Serena at the wedding, I want to believe there’s a funny story behind it, and not because he’s a perv.

Sure, Jenny’s being a bitch to Dan, and for once he’s in the right, and yet I can’t feel bad for him. 

“Don’t go to France, I’ll be there for you” a throwaway line from Blair, and yet bits like this are what fueled the fandom scale towards Blair for so long, Blair’s drama is petty compared to Serena’s and yet... still to this day people still argue about this mostly against Serena. 

“You look stressed even for you” an acurate description of Dan Humphrey at any given time. And Serena’s so eager to have that in her life, poor girl.

Serena’s turning around while Blair’s describing Jenny as self obssesed, self serving, self centered is hilarious, but hey she knows what she’s talking about

The four G: guys, girlfriends and Gossip Girl.

“Now you know how Vanessa Hudgen feels”, that is so 2008. Worse thing is I remember it.

“Wasn’t me, wish it was”, so Blair.

“Is your brotherly duty to save her from becoming the next Katie Holmes” Seriously this episode is getting quite savage with the not so nice pop culture references, also I dind’t want to remember this.

Dan being like “I don’t want Jenny to get hurt” and Blair pointing out that he should have thought of that before telling all of Manhattann that she’s a  glorified hag is why Dan sucks so bad.

Rufu’s seeing Lily on that wedding dress 

Jenny having a rude awakening, and even though she hates it she still goes along with it. 

Again, he may be right, but thanks Jenny for telling Dan to stop judging everyone all the time.

Serena blowing up Blair, and for once this actually was important. Too bad she couldn’t know that.

I so wish Georgina had refered to Blair as Snow White more in the show. And I guess people loved it because I’ve seen it more than once on fanfic. Also Eric being like “Oh, snow not so white, did you hear that...” but in Eric’s favor that was juicy gossip. 

Now I feel bad for pointing it out earlie the same thing Georgina says here, that was so in plain sight, this was really mean though.

Eric calling Chuck after the fall out, and he sums it up pretty well, the guy may have flaws, but being a judgmental ass  is not one of them. 

One of my fave bits of S1 was all the heartfelt moments between Serena and Eric. 

Blair’s arrival at Jenny’s party: EPIC. “The most importants parties to attend are the onew you’re not invited to” girl is serving. Also one of her most underrated looks in Season one

Georgina, Vanessa, Serena and Dan sitting at a table, talk about akward, also  I don’t know how to interpret this because either: half of the table are sociopaths, or just roll my eyes becaue the writers totatlly forgot about this plot when writing the final season of this show. 

Penelope and Hazel bitching about how their first time’s were awful. Not cool.

I wish we had got a nice moment between Blair and Eric, because they did care about each other, and we got so little between them. Because these kids were family, dysfunctional one for sure, but family nonetheless.

I know Asher was a jerk, and this was a moment of empowerment for Eric, but outing people is never good. Like I get why Eric did it, and he’s also really young, but still. 

Seriously Blair look’s gorgeous this episode.

That scene with Lily and Eric brief as it was really made me emotional, it’s one Lily’s most honest  and realest moment as a mom.

 Jenny raising the white flag, this scene is my second fave scene between them,their power struggle may be over for now, but it was a ride. And I love how honest they get with each other.

So Dan can tell Serena what to do, what not do, talk about her friends, but the moment she tells him she has misgivings about someone, he’s like how dare you! why don’t you trust my judgment... and then list all the bad things she did, and just leaves. He’s the biggest hypocrite ever.

Seriously angry Scrabble? And the words are like... ugh. I just can’t with him.

This is one of my favorite moments of Blair and Serena because Blair’s words are such a perfect description of the bond between them.

That’s such an ending for an episode “I kill someone”

No Chuck or Nate this episode. 

So this episode... it was quite packed. It’s basically the set up for the finale of Season One, putting and end to the Blair vs Jenny storyline and leaving us with Georgina breaking havoc front and center, only to drop the bomb that Serena killed someone. On first watching I remember I was like what? and hitting next episode really fast. Now not so much because this episode was one of those were rewatching reallly felt diferent from the first time. It’s also the one so far were knowing how the show ends was really distracting

I remembered this episode mostly for being the final round of Blair vs Jenny and it being quite a thing to watch, feeling bad for Eric,loving his scenes with Lily and Serena, and that last scene between Serena and Blair. And unlike the episode of Jenny’s birthday, I didn’t enjoyed their struggle for power as much this second time around. Not because I hated or anything, in fact Blair arriving to that party was still epic, I guess it had a lot to do with the fact that this was my favorite Jenny storyline, back then I didn’t knew what to expect, and I was excited about seeing where her character goes next, and now I know, and I didn’t like it how it went in the end, and it was sad to see her so defeated here,because she is never happy, whenever she gets something she wants it turns out it doesn’t make her happy at all, and even knowing that, the way things go, the way she acts, make it hard to root for her.  

I still loved her last scene with Blair though, because it didn’t matter how much antagonism there was between them, they also still saw a bit of themselves in each other, they hate it but they admire each other, and it’s was make their relationship so interesting and why they have these moments of such honesty between them, and sure, here Blair was condecending and Jenny basically tells her that she destroyed her life just to be like Blair, as if being like her was not something good, so each of them believe she’s better than the other, and yet it ends on a really sad not because Jenny’s words “I don’t expect anything anymore” are actually really depressing for a 15 year old girl, and as soon as she turns back towards the elevator, Blair drops the smile, because she gets it. So like I said, a really good scene, and even though I may not be excited about Jenny’s storylines anymore, I’m excited about a certaing scene betweem them in S2. That’s my fave. You can probably guess which one it is.

The other main plot this episode was Georgina still breaking havoc on Serena’s life, this time by blackmailing her, and becoming friends with Dan and Vanessa. Now, I normally don’t like to think that much about future events, particularly how it all ends, because I like enjoying the episodes trying to yes get more insight on why things happened the way it did, and it’s easier to analyse the characters actions and motivations in the moment, rather than focusing in their whole character arc, but this episode I found it pretty impossible to do because, knowing Dan is Gossip Girl means he’s pretending the whole time in a more obvious way, playing it up next to Georgina who’s presented as manipulative, a tad crazy and evil, is hard not to notice how he’s basically the same, and at least Georgina was honest about her nature, Dan on the other hand is not, Penn and the whole internet has being pointing out since  “You” came out about how Penn’s character Joe, is Dan upgrading to murder, and this is where the comparison really cames to life.  It kind of creeps me out. 

Dan aslo makes me really angry, becausse to top it all he gets mad at Serena, for basically not trusting her judgement because he is the trustworthy one in this relationship and she is not, and he drives the point home by listing all the times she has lied to him, never mind that part of the reason she lies is beacause he’s a judgmental ass who has lowkey constantly drilled her with how he loves the good Serena, and this episode he’s even critical of her haning out with Chuck who is a) her soon to be step brother b) someone she’s been reluctant friends with since she was a kid, and he also is critical of her partying, so basically the things she did before she met him, and that’s wrong on itself, but having Dan Humphrey acting all high and mighty because he doesn’t lie to Serena, makes me angry because he being a hypocrite not capable of seeing his own mistakes, never asking for forgiveness is what I dislike the most about his character.

I’ll leave it here for today, because this carries on to the next episode, and because Dan’s gets even worse on the next ones, so I’ll know I’ll be ranting about him even more so, and I don’t want to repeat myself, at least not that much. I’ll end this by remembering that last scene between Blair and Serena, because it’s such a precious moments and the reason why no matter what happened between and how bad it got, they are sisters and love each other to pieces “We're sisters. You're my family. What is you is me. There's nothing that you could ever say to make me let go. I love you”

Random bit’s I’ve noticed:

Lily’s schedule was so full, between disscusing her prenup, a final fitting at Mark Ingram’s Atelier, a mani/pedi, a conference call about an article, an appoitment at Barney’s... oh the good life.

So this episode is where the “whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop” quote cames from. I’ve seen that one on a ton of edits, no one of my fave though.

Funny but if there was one character that really put into practice Blai’rs words about crashing parties it was Vanessa now that I think of it.

Shut up and let me go! I was so obssesed with that song back in 2008. Though when I think of the Ting Tings and Gossip Girl, I have a different song in mind. 

[grasslandgirl]

1, 11, and 15 for the identity asks??

1: if someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read, watch, and listen to?

oooh!! interesting OK

read: hmm! the percy jackson and the olympians/ heroes of olympus series by Rick Riordan were like. SUPER formative when i was a kid (and are also like. really great books), and i dearly love Maggie Stiefvater’s the raven cycle series (no i haven’t read call down the hawk yet, yes i really want to). the thing is; i read so much and so often that it’s hard to pin down books that are like. my favorites or really integral to who i am? i really really love red white and royal blue by Casey McQuiston, and i’ve read ella enchanted by Gail Carson Levine like a dozen times at LEAST! i could keep going but those are a good couple Very Important Books To Me

listen to: again, i feel like i listen to So Much that it’s hard to narrow it down, but i do have a playlist that’s just Music For If Sav Was the Protagonist of a Teen Rom Com that is applicable, even if it doesn’t have every song i’ve ever loved on it! (honorable mentions of artists specifically: fall out boy, mitski, hozier, bleachers, walkthemoon, bastille, imagine dragons, carly rae jepsen, panic! at the disco, jimmy buffet, elton john)

watch: uhhhh ok here we go i’m just gonna list- American Vandal, The Bold Type, Lemonade Mouth, Dead Poet’s Society, Parks and Recreation, The Good Place, The Sun is Also a Star, Now You See Me, Bones, Avatar the Last Airbender (the tv series, not the movie, OBVIOUSLY), Barbie’s the Princess and the Pauper, iCarly, Hannah Montana, Anastasia, the Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, Pride and Prejudice (2005), Leap Year, Penelope, H2O Just Add Water, Zombieland, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Who’s Line is It Anyway, Glee (it’s a guilty pleasure), and probably so many more i can’t think of atm!!

honorable mentions to things that aren’t really music/books/tv/movies: The Adventure Zone (podcast), The Magnus Archives (podcast), Welcome to Nightvale (podcast), Anastasia (broadway show), In the Heights (broadway show)

11: describe your ideal day.

hm ok my thing with “ideal days” is that they’re NEVER gonna be what you think they are and they’re never gonna be as perfect as you’d expect, but here’s a rundown of highlights:

good breakfast i don’t have to make, preferably with sugar and chocolate

beautiful day outside, maybe some lowkey shopping, maybe a movie 

spending it with loved ones 

lunch out somewhere at a nice restaurant 

quiet afternoon in after a busy morning, some time to myself, maybe reading, maybe writing, maybe watching a movie, etc

the opportunity to dress cute and go out driving, maybe an impromptu photoshoot w friends during golden hour

dinner!! good food!! dessert!!!!

driving at night after it’s dark out with the windows down and music blasting

going home and not having an early morning the next day so i can stay up late on my own and write/read/watch tv/etc

15: five most influential books over your lifetime.

GOD this is difficult! ok i’m going to include series/ books by the same author as one bc if i don’t i won’t be able to do this (in no particular order)

1) the harry potter series by JK Rowling (no matter how much i disagree with what JK has done w the series in the past few years- cursed child and casting jonny depp, i’m looking at YOU- HP was incredibly influential to my life and specifically my childhood, and will always hold a special and dear place in my heart)

2) the percy jackson and heroes of olympus series by Rick Riordan (like i said above, i was a diehard stan of these books as a kid, and got very into greek mythology as a result of it, and though i haven’t read any of the newer ones set in the riordan-verse, i do own all of the original two series [in hardback!!] and love and cherish them very very dearly)

3) Gail Carson Levine’s works, specifically Ella Enchanted (i love fairy tale retellings and these are the books that got me into them, they’re so lovingly crafted and beautifully woven, i’ve read them over and over again and will continue to do so)

4) Rainbow Rowell’s works (i know we all love Carry On, and i really really do, but i also really love Eleanor and Park AND Fangirl [the book that inspired Carry On] and they’re some of my favorite books of all time i think)

5) the raven cycle by Maggie Stiefvater (they’re beautiful and they crawled up and made a home in my heart and that is all)

[honorable mention: Red white and royal blue by Casey McQuiston! only didn’t make this list by the SLIMMEST margin]

send me identity asks!!