#I love it that my LO hates being called princess or cutie or whatever little pet names people call her out of endearment

[ohnoboho]

ghosts in the flesh 1 (let’s meet our lovely contestants)

Dear reader, welcome to part one of my newest punk!Sanders multi-part fiction. A few of you voted for it, so here it is! @asofterfan‘s fantastic punk!Sanders Sides boys are going to go ghost hunting, eventually. For now, they are just going to be sassy at lunch (also a little glimpse of what’s to come for poor Virgil). It’s been a struggle to say the least with this, but I hope you will enjoy. 

much love, boho

Virgil watched the beam of the flashlight twist and spiral lazily as it fell through the air below him. The light swept over the decrepit walls of the shaft, deceptively slow. Only the deafening rush of air by his ears gave away how fast he was really falling. And something else, a voice hazy between the wind and his own blood pounding noisily in his throat he couldn’t quite make out. 

Below him, the flashlight finally made contact with the floor, the beam of light violently flailing as it bounced and rolled around the debris. Virgil squeezed his eyes shut and let the terror run swift and frigid through his veins; one raw, guttural shout echoed off the metal walls before the ground rushed to meet him. He knew he was going to regret going that night.

Two weeks prior...

It had started off much the same as any of their other adventures, with a friendly argument.

An offhand comment during lunch hour from a passing student calling Roman a ‘banshee’ for his excessive wailing at the tragedy of dropping his bag of chips sparked it really. After the soda can Virgil had hucked made contact with the back of the offending student’s head and sent the group scurrying off, the punk grumbled something under his breath.

“What was that, Virge?” Patton looked up from his backpack. He tossed Roman a spare bag of cheez-its; the other boy caught it with a thrilled gasp.

“He was just stating that it’s incorrect to call Roman a banshee, because he’s not female. The term banshee translates literally to ‘fairy woman’ and he is neither of those things. Although….” Logan glanced up from the homework he had been working on with a smirk, locking eyes with the other boy. It took only a moment for Roman to catch on to the joke. The two actually laughed together.

“Roman would be a specter or a wraith.” Virgil continued, sliding back into his seat after retrieving the empty can. “I mean really, if he were anything, Roman would be an incubus. A very confused incubus, who’s shit at his job.” Patton and Roman exchanged puzzled glaces as Logan and Virgil elbowed each other cheekily.

“I don’t know what the hell that means, but since you villians seem to find it oh-so amusing, I’m guessing I should be offended.” The steampunk pouted as best he could between fistfulls of cheez-its.

Patton leaned forwards and rested his chin in his hands. “Gosh, Virgil, sounds like you know a lot about spirits and stuff! What would I be?” Virgil had to stop himself from laughing at the juxtaposition of the pastel punk’s very serious expression with his delicate sipping on a juice box.

“I think you’d probably be a brownie.” The punk fiddled with his hoodie string as he spoke, shifting uncomfortably as his stomach let out an audible growl.

“oH MY-”

“He’s not referring to the fuckin’ baked good, Patton.” Logan cut off the boy’s cheery giggles, pushing his glasses further up his nose. “Brownie used here refers to a type of house gremlin.”

“Gremlins?” Patton cocked his head with a frown. Without looking, he plunged a hand into his backpack again and fished around. “Aren’t they usually mean?”

“In some cultures, but not brownies.” Virgil explained, absently accepting the orange Patton slid across the table to him. “They are little fae that pick a family they like and live in their house. They help out around the house with chores and shit and the family leaves them treats and toys to say thanks.” The dark boy kept his eyes on the orange as he carefully pulled at the peel and shrugged casually. “Seemed like a good fit to me.”

The pastel boy cooed, clapping his hand together excitedly. “Awwww, I love them!” Tucked under his hood and his bangs, a small smile crept across Virgil’s face.

Roman finished shaking the last crumbs from the cheez-it bag into his mouth, before tossing it aside. “Well, aren’t you just a regular Necro-NERD-icon! I mean, is anyone really surprised that Sabrina the Emo Witch here knows so much about ghosts though?” Virgil only stuck his tongue out in response. 

Logan offered an explanation distractedly as he scribbled away at the margins of his notes. “When we were kids, we used to go ‘ghost hunting’ around town quite often. To be honest, it was always less about the ghost hunting and more about creatively trespassing into ruined buildings.” Virgil munched on an orange slice thoughtfully and gave a hint of a smile at the precious memories of the little delinquent children they were.

“Woooow! Didja ever contact any ghosts?” Patton gasped eagerly.

“What? No, of course not!” Logan scoffed, tapping his pen sharply on his glasses frame. “Paranormal and supernatural creatures aren’t real, Patton. Although, it did take me quite a while to convince this idiot of that.” He jostled the boy next to him with his elbow and received a sound smack to his shoulder in return.

“You didn't convince me of anything, ass. I just stopped arguing with you.” Virgil grumbled sarcastically, flicking a pip directly at Logan’s glasses. It bounced off with a ‘plink’ as Logan started to squawk angrily.

“That’s just ridiculous! It's an absolute fact that ghosts aren't real and you know that, because there is no way that my best friend is as fucking dim as Dumb and Dumber over there.” Logan pointed sharply at the two punks across from table who froze in place right in the middle of Patton attempting to spit some juice from his straw into Roman’s open mouth.

“Excuse me!?” The steampunk sputtered, slapping his hands down on the table. “First, Specs, how dare you? Puff and I are creative geniuses.” The smaller boy echoed his assertion with a small 'yeah!’.  “And second, Nerd, how dare you? You assume that I believe in the supernatural? Why? Because I have a deep appreciation for fairytales? Because I happen to have an undying love for Disney’s Haunted Mansion ride? Everyone knows the ghosts are projections, Logan! Another fabulously clever way that Disney’s magic comes to life for little princes and princesses and other young royalty! ” Roman gestured about wildly as he ranted. His voice boomed through the courtyard where they sat as his armful of bangles rang noisily. The other students groups perked their heads up at the sounds of a possible fight, but quickly went back to their lunches as they realized it was just Roman.

Logan was taken aback for a moment before he leaned in with a raised eyebrow. “Wait, you don’t-”

He was cut off by a whine from Patton. “Roman?! You don't believe in ghosts? How un-BOO-lievable!” The pastel punk pressed his palms to his chest, miming being shot through the heart.

“I believe in using them as a clever literary device to force a character to confront their baggage from the past.” Roman said with a chuckle, reaching over to ruffle his friend’s colorful curls. “But no, Patton, ghosts and goblins and demons, they’re not real. They’re just fantastic stories!”

Logan blinked rapidly, removing and replacing his glasses a few times. “I’m agreeing with Roman? About ghosts?” His voice was distant and quiet.

“But you can’t know that for sure…” Virgil spoke up, shrugging his shoulders. “I mean, I don't know if I believe in supernatural shit, but there is always the possibility…”

“What?!” Logan balked, dropping his pen with a clatter. Suddenly his closest friend seemed to sprout another head. Another head that was spouting nonsense.

“Yeah!” Patton jumped in, nodding vigorously. “Virgil’s right! You can’t be so sure they aren't real! What about all the people that have had ghost experiences?”

“Oh, Puff, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but people lie, cutie pie!” Roman laughed loudly, striking a dramatic pose. “It’s all just theater. You know, con people are some of the greatest actors! I can’t say I haven't given it some thought for myself. I could make millions!” The steampunk preened.

“I’m agreeing with Roman….” Logan repeated like he was practicing words from a different language, trying to decipher the meaning. The other boys ignored him, intent on their conversation.

“Not everyone is a big fucking fraud, like you, Roman.” Virgil gruffed. He picked at his nail polish, trying his best to sound nonchalant. “And not everything can be explained away, so, fuck it, maybe it's worth it for people to study ghosts and stuff. Someone could find some evidence that changes everything.”

“That’s right! People thought atoms were made out of pudding before they saw them in microscopes!” Patton asserted proudly, crossing his arms resolutely across his chest. Virgil and Roman shared a bewildered look, while Logan just slowly removed his glasses from his face and took a breath.

“PATTON-” Logan erupted loudly, before he was cut off again.

“Yeah, we definitely don’t have enough time for you to dive into whatever the hell that was, Lo. Let’s make a wager.” Roman leaned in over the table. “I’ll bet that we could go a full night in a ‘haunted’ location and not find a single piece of evidence of any of your ‘ghosty friends’.” He chuckled smugly and bounced his eyebrows at Virgil.

Patton lunged forwards to clasp one of Virgil’s hands in his own. “Ooh! The Boo-lievers (that’s us, Virge) versus The Debbie Doubters (that’s you two)!” The table nearly shook as he wriggled with excitement. Virgil held in a laugh behind his free hand.

“The Debbie Doubters?!” Roman scoffed, feigning great offense. “Logan, you will have to help me come up with a better team name than that if we are to win this. Here, I’ll start a list!”

Mercifully, the bell rang before Logan could full come back to his senses. Virgil, grateful for the distraction, tugged at Patton’s sweater to drag him along to their art class, while Logan waited impatiently for Roman to join him on their way to chemistry.

“This isn’t over, you dastardly Boo-lievers!” The steampunk yelled after the other two boys, giving Logan a hearty slap on his back. “The Science Studs will school you!”

“That is the stupidest fucking name...” Logan grumbled, shoving Roman roughly with his shoulder in the direction of their class.

“How about The Eclectic Skeptics?”

“No.”

“The Para-No-mal Punks?”

“Fuck no.”

to be continued...

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@funsizedgremlin