#I love all of them I spent at least 3 hours on Emu because of her stupid fucking kick I couldn't justify changing out to make it easier

[catzgam3rz]

What's up fuckers it's the Autism Squad

[daddysfangirls-marvel]

Black, White, and Gray (1)

Pairing: Loki x reader

Warning: none

Word: 745

Summary: reader  is a prisoner in a high security prison in the Stark Tower, and she is incredibly dangerous, and Loki is being brought in by the avengers and he wonders why she is in there, They escape together and travel the Galaxy and then just stop on a planet and like start a new life but then Thor finds them and calls them to help on Earth and everyone sees how good they are afterwards and just lets them start a secret family Europe or something

Bored. She was absolute. When (y/n) first arrived she spent time hurling insults at the security Camera, then she apologized because she felt bad, after she was bored with that she took a bobby pint out of her hair and picked her cuffs then used the bobby pin to scratch words into the floor such as ‘RUN‘ and ‘GET OUT’ and her personal favorite ‘KILLERS’. But even that last it’s amusement after sometimes.

(y/n) had been running from the Avengers for 2 months and 3 hours ago they had finally caught her and now she was in a high tech cell under Stark or Avenger’s tower.

oh, how the mighty have fallen.

(y/n) wasn’t a bad person, Personality she was timid and hushed seeing her on the street one would think she was your basic everyday school girl even though she was in her mid-twenties. She was very nice and friendly person for the most part. But her bedside was something no one could withstand once a person was on the list their entire blood like was set for extinction. She wasn’t s joke (y/n) wasn’t a bad person, she wasn’t evil. She was just a good person doing bad things for a good reason. The Avengers didn’t understand this they were all black and white, and Bucky Barnes, there were no grays in between, unless you were Bucky Barnes. If you did good things you were a good person and if you did bad things you were a bad person. Unless you were Bucky fucking Barnes, Nothing applied to Barnes. They had some serious double standards for this guy. He could do no wrong.

Speak of the devil he shall give you a murderous glare. Thor, Steve, Tony, and Bucky all down Bucky glared at (y/n) as he pasted her cell she pouted and shrunk back. There was another person with them he was in the middle surround them so she couldn’t see his face. “who’s that” ( y/n) asked as they walked by putting him in the cell next to her. “your new evil playmate. You two will get along nicely” Tony said as the rest left Bucky still glaring at her. “Hello? Hello, neighbor? did they kill you already?” “no” “Okay, that’s good... what is your names?” “none of your business mortal” “well since you called me mortal I’m going to assume you’re immortal. Hello, Mr. Immortal I’m... (L/n), (y/n) (L/n)”. There was a moment of awkward silence, maybe the man didn’t get her reference. But everyone knew James Bond. “ So, Mr. Immortal what did you to end up here?” “what did you do?” “I asked you first” “I asked you second.” (y/n) giggled this man was fun “ I ... I killed some people. A few of them were important.” she said  not giving much detail or explanation  and shrugging it off. “At first I tried to take over the world. The I came back looking for something. Should have stayed away” he said sounding exhausted. (y/n) heard him groan and some chains shaking. “Are you shackled?” (y/n) asked he sighed “I’m dangerous aren’t I” “I don’t know”. She didn’t see it but he rolled hi eyes. “look in the air vent” “excuse me?” “there’s an air vent over your head. Look in there and  you’ll find a bobby pin. Use it to pick your locks”. He did as he was told taking the bobby Pin seconds later (y/n) heard his shackled hit the floor. “ Yay you’re half way there... ooh oh we’re livin’ on a prayer take my hand-” “what are you doing?” “singing off key” “Stop it” “Then talk to me let’s be friends” He groaned it was either this or off key singing. “The Avenger-” (y/n) immediately interrupted him “don’t like them” “why?” “Why don’t you like them?” “they ruin my plans, you” “Stuff and things” “Valhalla, woman you are complicated” He could already tell this woman was going to be difficult but for some reason that relieved him. At least he would be entertained and not alone. - “They seem to be getting along,” Tony said as the team watched and listened to (y/n) and Loki talk through security cameras. “who knows maybe she’ll get him to spill the beans on why he’s here,” Sam said “Or maybe he’ll get her to spill the beans on why she killed that guy,” Bucky said “Yeah, maybe”

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[easyhairstylesbest]

77 Valentine's Day Gifts You Can Get on Amazon Prime

If going to the mall during the holidays drove you nuts before 2020, then Amazon Prime will save your soul now more than ever. Where else can you buy a wool Mackage coat, a sculpted bust of a greek god, a cardboard turntable for cats, and toilet paper? From the comfort of your couch. Naked.

Because there are millions of choices on Amazon and going through the results for even a single inquiry can be exhausting, we went through tens of thousands of items and put together a definitive list of the best gifts you can shop this year with Prime. Our non-negotiable criteria? Items had to be unique, high-quality, practical or chic, because nobody has time for anything else these days. Below, our top picks on Amazon Prime to add to your cart now.

1

Ocean Mist & Sea Salt Candle

NEST Fragrances amazon.com

$42.00

With notes of sea salt, white tea and coconut, this ocean mist-scented candle is a guaranteed crowd-pleaser. (Something that can’t be said for most candles out there.)

2

Gabbi Vegan Leather Handbag

If you follow any fashion accounts, you’ve probably seen JW Pei all over your Instagram feed. What’s less known about the affordable brand is that their bags are made from 50 percent recycled materials and 10 percent of all profits are donated to animal sanctuaries around the world.

3

Polaroid Pop Instant 3×4 Photo Printer & Digital Camera

Being able to hold photos of special moments hits different. Polaroid’s wireless Pop Instant camera is a game-changer for making it possible to take, preview, edit and print 3.5 x 4.25 photos. The easily transportable device also offers WiFi connectivity, so users can upload their pictures straight to the ‘gram if they please.

4

Acrylic Sheep-Shaped Containers

Agirlvct amazon.com

$12.99

Whether you’re shopping for the aunt that does her own thing or your friend with the ironic instagram aesthetic, these sheep-shaped cotton swab containers will just hit different.

5

SLIP Silk Pillowcase

Anti-aging and crease minimizing benefits aside, a silk pillowcase simply just looks and feels luxurious. Because falling asleep these days isn’t easy, this queen size pillowcase makes for a thoughtful gift.

6

14k Gold Three Diamond Amigos Curve Post Earrings

Adina Reyter amazon.com

$675.00

If these diamond curve post earrings look familiar, it’s because Meghan Markle wears them on repeat. To give you a sense of just how versatile these beauties are, the Duchess wore these to Commonwealth Day 2018, throughout her and Harry’s Royal Tour of Australia, and numerous royal engagements in London.

7

The Archisutra: The handbook’s Final Chapter

Createspace Independent Publishing Platform amazon.com

$9.99

This creative Kama Sutra from London-based architect Miguel Bolivar is a good gift for cultured significant others. Each sex position is inspired by a famous building or furniture design with detailed data and annotated scale drawings.

8

Handmade Love Bracelets for Men & Women

Ubuntu Life amazon.com

$19.00

Ubuntu Life, which was included in Oprah’s Favorite Things 2020, provides employment to artisans in Kenya, in addition to running programs that support social inclusion for Kenyan children with educational and physical needs. A handful of colors are still in stock at the time of publication.

9

Premium Bamboo Bathtub Tray Caddy

For a fancy-feeling gift that’s actually affordable, look to this bathtub tray caddy. It has a stand that can be propped to read a book or display a tablet, plus a wine glass holder.

10

Fair Trade-Certified Chocolate Gift Set

Chuao Chocolatier amazon.com

$16.95

This dark and milk chocolate gift set from Whole Foods-carried brand Chuao Chocolatier contains innovative flavors the chocolate lover in your life won’t be expecting. Think: potato chip, honeycomb, salted chocolate crunch and more. 

11

Open Back Lace Teddy Bodysuit Lingerie

Spice things up with this surprisingly affordable lingerie find. Its delicate lace details and open back lend a glamorous touch.

12

Nonslip Hair Claw Clips (Pack of 4)

Claw clips were already having a moment in fashion before the pandemic. Now that we’re working from home and wearing our hair up every day, they’re all the more useful. These reviewer-obsessed clips boast 3k reviews and counting with an average rating of 4.8k stars.

13

Flex Wireless Earphones

I obtained a pair of the latest Beats (the brand’s most affordable headphones to date) for testing a few months back and haven’t stopped using them since. Delivering crystal clear sound, 12 hours of battery life, and a rapid fast charge, these bluetooth wireless headphones are overall better than headphones I’ve spent at least 4x more on over the years.

14

7/8 Jogger Travel Pants

Editor’s note: I own these joggers and am in love with them. What first sold me on these was that reviewers mentioned how similar these are to Lululemon’s On The Fly jogger, which cost about three times more. Fast forward to me owning 4 pairs and recently FaceTiming with my grandma who was rocking her own pair as well. A great gift for any woman who likes comfortable, flattering pants.

15

Reversible Zebra Bathmat in Grey

Jonathan Adler amazon.com

$63.34

Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side… Not when you’re getting out of the tub though. That’s dangerous in an ER-kind of way. Anyway, here’s a cute, dryer-friendly bathmat. 

16

Le Specs. Air Heart Sunglasses

Le Specs. amazon.com

$67.90

If these glamorous and slightly oversized sunnies look familiar it’s because Meghan Markle sported this exact pair during her 2019 baby shower. Shoppers, note that these fan-favorite shades have a track record for selling out fast. 

17

OPRAH’S FAVORITE THINGS 2020

‘Tis The Season Huggie Set

Stella & Haas amazon.com

$29.97

This trio of hypoallergenic freshwater pearl huggies is another covetable find from Oprah’s Favorite Things List this year. Considering how versatile these earrings are, I don’t blame you if you opt to keep a pair for yourself.

18

UGG Fluffita Slipper

Have a shoe lover on your shopping list? Change their life with UGG’s Fluffita slippers. These fuzzy-feeling platform slippers will elevate all of their favorite loungewear ‘fits.

19

Mayberry Sheepskin Slipper

EMU Australia amazon.com

$59.95

Cozy gifts remain a failsafe move in 2021, so here’s another pair of chic sheepskin slippers certain to delight. 

20

Emmanuelle Initial Necklace

Jennifer Zeuner Jewelry amazon.com

$154.00

A personalized touch goes a long way in making it look like you didn’t wait until the last minute to pick something out and panic while doing so. Here, a gothic initial pendant from Jennifer Zeuner that subtly channels Regina George’s ‘R’ necklace. More letters are available as well.

21

Dachsie Ring Holder

This dachshund ring holder takes cute jewelry organization to another level. Perfect for the dog lover who’s constantly rotating her stack.

22

Layla Bamboo Bed Sheets

Layla Sleep amazon.com

$175.00

$125.00 (29% off)

A sheet upgrade is the gift that keeps on giving. Suitable for sensitive skin types and hot sleepers, Layla Sleep’s 300-thread count Bamboo sheets are soft to the touch and eco-friendly. (Bamboo uses 200x less water than cotton and doesn’t require harsh chemicals in the production process.) The set includes a fitted sheet, top sheet and 2 pillowcases.

23

PhoneSoap Pro UV Smartphone Sanitizer & Universal Charger

PhoneSoap amazon.com

$119.95

File PhoneSoap’s Pro UV smartphone sanitizer under universally practical gift ideas. In just five minutes, this device is able to kill up to 99.99% of germs thanks to its powerful UV-C light.

24

Plush Slipper Socks Women

Toes Home amazon.com

$14.99

Amazon reviewers are obsessed with this set of fuzzy socks, which happens to be a steal at this price. (Think 2.4k ratings and counting, with an average of 4.6/5 stars.) A handful of designs are available, but the heart motifs here are especially kitschy-chic.

25

Alix Mini Top Handle Satchel

3.1 Phillip Lim amazon.com

$695.00

They say the best gifts are the ones you’d want for yourself. Phillip Lim’s versatile Alix Mini top handle bag is proof.

26

Supreme Glamour

Thames & Hudson amazon.com

Anyone who loves The Supremes or retro glamour will swoon over this new coffee table book, which chronicles the fashion history of the beloved 1960s Motown group. Founding member Mary Wilson tells her friend and co-author, Mark Begu, the whole story of the band.

27

Gisele Long PJ Set

Eberjey amazon.com

$120.00

Eberjey is practically synonymous with great pajamas. Made from modal and spandex jersey (no polyester!), these PJs are breathable, ridiculously soft and hot sleeper-friendly. Unlike cheaper options out there, you can be sure these will last for years to come.

28

EDITOR’S FAVORITE

Power Workout Leggings in Black

Sweaty Betty amazon.com

$100.00

To give you a sense of how beloved British brand Sweaty Betty’s power leggings are, one pair has sold every 90 seconds this year. (Editor’s note: I own these and don’t stop talking about how I think they’re the most comfortable and flattering leggings of all time.) New to Amazon Prime, these are still in stock in every size at the time of publication. 

29

Women’s Asili Stacking Rings

Women-founded and sustainably sourced, SOKO makes some of the coolest, vintage-feeling costume jewelry around. Their pieces are handcrafted by artisans Kenya who use recycled brass, upcycled horns and traditional techniques.

30

Leather Touchscreen Texting and Driving Gloves

If you’re bougie on a budget, check out these Italian cashmere-lined leather gloves which boast over 1.7k ratings. As one reviewer put it: “They are great, and actually fit very well. Beautifully packaged. Could be a gift but I am keeping them!” 

31

Women’s Duality Reversible Sherpa Jacket

Alo Yoga amazon.com

$179.89

Not only is Alo Yoga’s best-selling Duality jacket fun and practical in equal measure, it’s reversible and one side is sherpa. Five other colorways are available too.

32

Drinking Animals Coloring and Cocktail Recipe Book

Each page in this delightful coloring book opens up to a different animal and new cocktail recipe. 

33

Tombow Dual Brush Pen Art Markers

Editor’s note: I’m a lifelong doodler and Tomboy’s dual tip brush pens are unrivaled when it comes to ease of use and vibrancy. Several color palettes are available in case you’re after something louder too. PS: A bunch are on sale right now, which is rare for the brand.

34

Apple AirPods with Wireless Charging Case

Few tech gadgets, if any, look as suave as AirPods. Of all the headphones carried on Amazon, these remain the #1 best-selling pair (no exaggeration), and for a limited time only, they’re currently on sale.

35

No Bounds Wireless Outdoor Speaker

House of Marley amazon.com

$58.78

These aux input speakers from House of Marley (which, fun fact, was founded by Bob Marley’s son, Rohan) boast an impressive ten hours of battery life. Even better? Because they’re dust-proof and waterproof, you and your partner will be able to enjoy these on outdoor adventures and road trips.

36

Retro Bluetooth Speaker

This ultra-compact speaker is sure to be a crowdpleaser. The indoor/outdoor speaker not only connects with bluetooth, but can be used as an FM radio with AUX connectivity as well, all while delivering impressive sound and 10 hours of battery life. A carrying strap and dust bag are also included, which makes for a sleek presentation.

37

Bose SoundLink Revolve Wireless Bluetooth Speaker

This sleek indoor/outdoor speaker delivers crystal clear sound quality and long battery life (16 hours!) certain to enhance any user’s listening experience. From true crime podcasts to Netflix to electronic music experiences, these will be a game-changer. 

38

Boy Smells Beeswax & Coconut Wax Kush Candle

Boy Smells amazon.com

$36.00

This Boy Smells best seller doesn’t actually contain any psychoactive hemp-derived extracts, but it’s still lit. Paying homage to the cannabis flower, the scent is warm, fresh and floral.

39

EDITOR’S FAVORITE

Hand and Skincare Amenity Kit

Grown Alchemist amazon.com

$25.00

Editor’s note: I’m never more than a few feet away from my Grown Alchemist hand creams in the winter. Containing a vanilla and orange peel hand cream, vanilla and geranium day cream and watermelon lip balm, I’d argue this is the most affordable fancy-feeling beauty gift on Amazon. Fun fact, clean Gwyneth Paltrow is a huge fan of this lipgloss. 

40

EltaMD Mineral-Based UV Clear Facial Sunscreen (1.7 oz)

Sunscreen as a gift? Only if it’s from EltaMD’s product line. If you or a loved one who spends a lot of time in the sun hasn’t tried this dermatologist-loved sunscreen line before, ELLE.com highly recommends. (Read Beauty Director Chloe Hall’s full review here.)

41

Sparkling Water Machine

sodastream amazon.com

$159.95

Kiss wasteful plastic bottles of seltzer from the grocery store goodbye. Set in a sleek monochromatic design, this SodaStream kit includes everything you need to make seltzer at home, including a carbonator.

42

14k Yellow Gold Hoop Earrings

Tilo Jewelry amazon.com

$69.99

Gold hoops go with everything and somehow always feel cool wearing. Here, a 14k gold pair made in the US that won’t slim down your holiday shopping budget. 

43

Sherpa Trucker Jacket

Levi’s sherpa jackets have been worn by every fashion girl from Gigi Hadid to Zendaya. The denim staple is not only a godsend for complicated transitional temps, but a cozy piece to throw on at home.

44

Visual Feast: Contemporary Food Photography and Styling

Earning its moniker, Visual Feast is a coffee table fixture that explores food presentation in a myriad of Art forms. From witty jello dishes to painted lobsters, the foodie in your life will find the book’s photography drool-worthy.

45

Classic Greek Michelangelo David Bust Statue

Beonueni amazon.com

$29.00

Nothing subtly says ‘I’m an Intellectual’ louder than having a decorative bust of a Greek god on display in one’s home. Your loved one won’t see this gift coming, but they’ll love it all the same. (Editor’s note: This is the only item on our list where you have to pay for shipping, but it’s only $2.99.) 

46

Women’s Natural Lace Trim Vest

Iris & Lilly amazon.com

$16.30

White tank tops have defined Tik Tok-era fashion more than any other article of clothing. Gift a set for the culture. 

47

Mentone Half-Zip Sweater

Varley amazon.com

$148.00

This half zip from British athleisure brand Varley is practically dripping in cozy appeal.

48

Women’s Nori-K Coat

Mackage amazon.com

$790.00

Kindly sidestep the puddle of drool that formed while I gazed at this wool coat. That leather waist belt! The removable bib (!!!). The feminine silhouette that doesn’t sacrifice warmth! She’ll love this because how could anybody not?

49

Squeaky Parody Plush Dog Toy

Haute Diggity Dog amazon.com

$15.99

A fabulous squeaky toy for a fabulous pup. (Editor’s note: hi, Freddy!!) 

50

Juicy Couture DIY Bracelet Making Kit

Make It Real amazon.com

$19.99

*Puts on Maneater by Nelly Furtado for a quick journey to 2006.* This kitschy DIY bracelet kit will pull at the heart strings of anyone who owned a velour tracksuit in the early oughts. Technically speaking, this set was probably intended for pre-teens, which makes it a good gift youngins who weren’t around for Juicy’s heyday all the same.

51

14k Gold Linked Diamond Stud Earring

Zoe Chicco amazon.com

$480.00

This 0.13ct diamond stud earring (yes, it’s sold individually and I’m sorry) will be her new favorite earring if she has more than one piercing. 

52

Kitty Espresso Coffee Maker

Stainless steel espresso coffee makers don’t get any chicer than the Bialetti Kitty.  

53

Walkie Talkies

These retro-looking walkie talkies are technically for kids aged 4 through 14; however, these will make a useful gift for any family quarantining together in the suburbs in lieu of a fancy intercom system. These boast a 3 mile range for outside, camping and hiking, as well as a backlit LCD flashlight. 

54

Modern Glass Globe Table Desk Lamp

This sculptural table lamp injects instant modernity and warmth. It includes an LED bulb too, so the design lover you gift this too will be able to set it up and enjoy right away. 

55

Clear Acrylic Bookends (Set of 4)

CY craft amazon.com

$16.97

If you’re after a gift for a book lover that isn’t books, this top-rated set of acrylic bookends works for any decor style. 

56

Enameled Cast Iron Signature Dutch Oven

Le Creuset amazon.com

$349.95

Le Creuset is the gold standard of cookware and their dutch ovens are the lightest on the market. Here, the legendary brand’s signature enameled cast iron Dutch Oven in a gradient motif that brings to mind sunsets and Prada’s fall-winter 2018 collection.

57

BoostIQ RoboVac 15C MAX

eufy by Anker amazon.com

$279.99

$175.99 (37% off)

It’s hard to come by a list of best robot vacuums online (written by experts who actually tested hundreds of models) where eufy’s RoboVac 15C MAX isn’t included as a budget-friendly mention. The RoboVac 15C MAX has wifi and Alexa voice connectivity, which makes it easy breezy to set up and use. Reviewers love how it delivers an impressive clean with strong suction and self-charges after a clean. 

58

Table Tiles

Areaware amazon.com

$20.98

There’s no such thing as too many coasters, though there is such thing as really tacky coasters. Trust me, I went through over 200 before finding this cool geometric set. These have a cork-lined base which further helps to protect furniture.

60

Sherpa and Fleece Throw Blanket

Green Orange amazon.com

$20.99

Sherpa on one side and plush on the other, this reviewer-loved throw blanket measures 50×60 inches, which means it’s large enough for two to comfortably snuggle during Netflix nights.

61

EDITOR’S FAVORITE

Men’s Sherpa-Lined Puffer Jacket

Amazon Essentials amazon.com

$50.10

Editor’s note: I got my dad this jacket for his birthday a few weeks ago because I figured it looked warm and practical. Turns out, this $42 coat is the softest-feeling men’s jacket anyone in my family has ever come across. Besides looking way more expensive than its price tag, this coat is warm and has a sherpa-lined hood which feels cloud-like. (Amazon, if you’re reading this, please make this coat in women’s.)

62

Men’s Figaro Chain Necklace

Miansai amazon.com

$125.00

In case you’re still thinking about how hot Connell’s chain was in Normal People. Same.

63

Men’s Memory Foam Slippers

These comfy slippers are machine washable, which means if he’s prone to having sweaty feet… you can gift these without any worry you might later regret it.

64

Polo Ralph Lauren Outdoor Bear Scarf

Polo Ralph Lauren amazon.com

For a guy in your life who’s a nightmare to shop for, look no further than this ribbed knit scarf featuring Ralph Lauren’s iconic, well-dressed bear.

65

Essential Crewneck Sweater

State Cashmere amazon.com

$140.00

Editor-loved brand State Cashmere makes 100% pure hypoallergenic cashmere for a fraction of what I see a lot of other brands charging. Here, a failsafe crewneck he’ll have for years to come.

66

Starter Shaving Kit for Men

Intro him to his new favorite grooming brand with a set that includes everything from a shave brush to priming oil to a safety razor and more. This shaving kit boasts over 400 reviews, with several mentioning how Bevel’s products help prevent razor bumps. 

67

Hidden Comfort No-Show Socks

Runners swear by the support and durability of Balega socks. Take it from the 7k reviews this no-show unisex pair has, these will be a hit.

68

Grand Court Sneaker

If you’re shopping for a boyfriend who’s an amazing person but just not the best dresser, start with his shoes. Prince Harry has been photographed in a similar pair (Sdidas’s Gazelle trainer) in a similar grey, suede color on countless occasions. This color looks sharp with everything.

69

DiamondClean Classic Rechargeable Electric Toothbrush

Philips Sonicare amazon.com

$199.99

$166.95 (17% off)

Rumored users of the prestigious DiamondClean toothbrush include Beyoncé and Kim K. Per Philips, this luxe toothbrush removes up to 7x more plaque than a manual toothbrush, whitens teeth after 1 week of use, and improves gum health in only 2 weeks.

70

Pet Cardboard Turntable & DJ Mixer

Suck UK amazon.com

$35.00

For the cat person who loves a good RAC remix. To quote an epic review on Amazon: “By 9pm, DJ Kitty was in beast mode as the rave kicked off in the living room. As the sun came up, DJ Kitty refused to part with the deck… Yes, a bit expensive for [sic]carboard, but we are considering selling tickets to the next show to make up the difference.”

71

OPRAH’S FAVORITE THINGS 2020

Footnanny Hemp Extract Spa Treatment Set

Footnanny amazon.com

$69.99

Footnanny has been on Oprah’s Favorite Things list for seven years and counting, though the foot-care brand is loved by many, many more. Here, a trio that will help with exfoliating, soothing and relieving targeted areas of the body that often get neglected. 

72

Foam Roller

Trigger Point Performance amazon.com

To give you a sense of how beloved TriggerPoint’s GRID foam roller is, it has 11.4k global ratings and an average score of 4.7 stars. It comes with free online videos so users can learn the best ways to utilize it for stretching and relieving tension. 

73

Fully Adjustable Desk Folding Exercise Bike

Exerpeutic amazon.com

$299.99

$255.86 (15% off)

If they’re a fitness lover who’s working from home right now, this foldable stationary bike desk will make staying active during the day an easier pursuit. Reviewers agree it’s easy to assemble and sturdy, with one reviewer even saying this has changed their life.

74

Essential Oil and Aromatherapy Diffuser

Victsing amazon.com

$25.59

Shopping for a dedicated yogi or someone who could use a little serenity right now? Meet VicTsing’s popular essential oil diffuser that boasts 11.3k ratings and counting. The diffuser offers 2 modes, 4 different timers and 7 different color lights, which makes for a personalized zen experience. 

75

Jenga

Jenga is fun whether you’re 6-years-old or 42.

76

Posh Peanut Pajamas Set (Newborn to Toddler Sizes)

Posh Peanut amazon.com

$30.00

Made from soft viscose bamboo, these pajamas will be super soft for any baby, toddler or eager young mind on your shopping list. A variety of prints are available in sizes spanning 0-3 months to 6 years.

77

Grippy Non-Slip Socks for Kids

Resilience Gives amazon.com

$10.00

The story behind this cheerful sock brand will move you (and the recipient). Resilience Gives was founded by Jake Teitebaum, a Hodgkin’s lymphoma survivor who was frustrated with poorly-made socks during his stem cell transplant, and is co-owned by Andee Wallace, whose father survived non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. For each pair of socks purchased, the brand donates a pair to a child with cancer who’s undergoing treatment in a hospital. (Women’s and men’s sizes are also available in case you also want to get yourself a pair.)

Justine Carreon Justine Carreon is the market editor at ELLE.com covering fashion, Dutch ovens, and fashion again.

Jaimie Potters Commerce Content Manager Jaimie Potters is the Commerce Content Manager at Hearst Magazines Digital Media, where she covers fashion, beauty, tech and more.

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77 Valentine's Day Gifts You Can Get on Amazon Prime

[dwendog]

Dear Northern Hemisphere First Year Teachers,

Hello from The Land of Academic Years That Line Up With Calendar Years Because We Are Not Savages! 

We’re currently a little over half way through our school year, which has been my first year with my own kidlets (I borrowed other teachers’ when they were sick/at PD for the last 6 months of last year). Please know that I feel your terror/nerves/pain/10,000 other emotions you’re having as the new school year starts. The last 6 months has been...long. And rewarding. And terrifying. And hard. And amazing. And exhausting. And hilarious. In light of this, here are some thoughts about your first year/things I wish people had told me before I started (it got long, and I didn’t want it to devour people’s dashes, so the actual useful part is after the jump).

Please accept now that you will be tired for a very large portion of the next year. I have never, ever been so tired in my whole life. And I have been tired pretty much every waking moment of my entire life. I just really like sleeping, okay? But the point is, it’s not just you. You’re effectively performing all day long. That’s HARD. It’s okay to be tired. There is no reason you can’t go to bed at 7:30 at night if you’re pretty much falling asleep standing up. No one is judging you. 

On a related note, there is no point having a beautifully planned lesson if you’re too exhausted from only getting 4 hours sleep to teach it properly. You can finish that lesson in the shower tomorrow morning. Or the car on the way to work. You cannot sleep in either of these places. You can, however, sleep at school if necessary. Places I have napped this year include my desk in the staff room; the bed in sick bay; and the pile of cushions in the reading corner in my classroom (that was actually a pretty good nap). Sometimes, that 20 minute nap at lunch time is the only thing standing between you and killing a child, and it’s worth taking it instead of spending 20 minutes marking.

Please accept that this is probably the last week or so that you will be properly healthy before school finishes for the year. I’m not saying that you will be SICK all year. I’m just saying that you won’t be WELL for a lot of it. I have had low grade sniffles since about week 3 of term 1, and I am not usually a person who gets sick that often. There are about a million different germs floating around schools, and your immune system won’t know how to cope with it. And you’re going to be tired, so it REALLY won’t know how to cope with it. And if you work with the tiny/small humans, you’re like, quadrupling the germiness. Echinacea, Garlic, Zinc & Vitamin C tablets will keep the worst of the germs at bay most of the time. Sometimes, you’ll still end up sick anyway, but really, that will happen once or twice a year in ANY job.

The kids will make you cry. In both the good way and the bad way. They will make you laugh until you’ve got tears streaming down your face and you can barely breathe. They will make your heart want to explode with love and happiness, but it can’t do that, so the explosion will come out your eyeballs instead. They will also frustrate you immensely, and don’t even get me started on their freaking parents. Just try not to bad cry in front of them, because they see it as a sign of weakness. The rest of the staff, however, have probably been there at some point, and will generally be very supportive. Sometimes, they’ll even pull all your homework booklets apart and reassemble them for you with the correct sheets in them when said homework is the reason you’re crying.

Lessons are wildly unpredictable. Some lessons will go EXACTLY as you plan, and it will be amazing. Some will not go at all how you plan, and it will be terrible. Some will go EXACTLY as you plan, and it will be terrible. Some will not go at all how you plan, and it will be amazing. Sometimes the lessons you spent hours on will be the ones that flop. The lesson that you make up on the spot when you discover that the librarian is out sick today and there’s no one to cover for them, so you suddenly have an unexpected 45 minutes to teach may be the best thing you teach all week. There will be days when you are teaching the kids about kinship in Indigenous Australian families and end up talking about how the water treatment process removes fish poop from the water for 10 minutes (any sort of poop will cause a 10 minute tangent. You just can’t always predict when they’ll somehow manage to work poop into the conversation). Just learn to roll with it, and always remember the kids don’t know what was in your program. They don’t know that there was another activity you planned on doing this lesson before they got caught up in this thing that was supposed to be a relatively minor part of the lesson and were having too much fun to ruin. They don’t know that you were planning on spending an extra 10 minutes on that activity, but they caught on so quickly that now you’re starting the next lesson early. It takes so much of the stress out of those situations when you realise that you can actually do more or less whatever you want AND THE KIDS WILL NEVER KNOW.

When you work with tiny/small children, any time can be story time. Lesson came up short? TIME FOR A STORY! Kids being ratty? I’M GOING TO READ TO YOU! You just had a stressful parent meeting and need a few minutes to get your shit back together, but you also have to be teaching right this second? WHO WOULD LIKE TO PICK A BOOK FOR ME TO READ THE CLASS? Similarly, if you’re tired and over it and CBF with a real lesson plan, The Magic School Bus is almost always acceptable, because it teaches science, but you can also treat it as a visual text for English. Or a study of narrative structure. And as a way of presenting factual information in a fictional text. And if you play it from your Netflix account, you used Netflix for work, and you can therefore claim part of your subscription as a tax deduction.*

It’s important to take time to be silly. Obviously, I can only speak as a teacher of the smalls, but I think this applies to the mediums, too. When you’re trying to focus on the million and one things required to be a good teacher, it can be very easy to get caught up in being serious. And sometimes you do need to be, because you ARE the adult in the room, and there are some topics that are actually serious. But silliness is also an important teaching tool. Did you know that it’s Very Likely that at some point today, Ms R will talk about puppies or unicorns? Were you aware that the soldier settlement scheme after WWI was actually one of the main contributing factors to The Emu Wars? Have you ever considered that Katniss Everdeen would be a better candidate for president of a country than Bruce Wayne (but weirdly enough, Batman would probably be at least on par with Katniss)? These are all things that I’ve actually taught kids at some point in the last year in relation to completely serious things that are actually on the syllabus. I love my Emu Wars lesson so much that I’ve taught it at least 5 times since I wrote it about 12 months ago, and it’s the lesson that the kids continually tell me they love and beg me to repeat. It teaches critical and creative thinking, as well as visual texts, and some tangential links to the history syllabus**. There are other, more serious lessons that teach all those same things to the same age group, but no one enjoys them as much. That lesson fixes even the shittiest of casual days on a year 5/6 class. BECAUSE WHO DOESN’T LOVE GETTING TO SAY “And we lost THAT battle because an emu came over to see what was going on in the car and got stuck in the steering wheel, and the army went ‘Yeah, nah, we are SUPER done right now.’ and retreated for the day.”

Educhums are the absolute greatest and they will help you with everything.  Many of them also have great stories about their dogs and/or offspring, and they have some of the best “You will not believe what the little shits in my class did today” stories I have ever heard. Which I realise are not directly related to teaching, but it’s always good to know when you’ve had a bad day. Because Avery Jones is the Best Good Boy, Mae is Top 2 Best Good Girls (Best Good Girl is currently napping next to me), Tomes’ Bebe says the most hilarious stuff (and has all the best Trash Truck stories), and Toddler Kaaay’s fashion sense is totally on point.

[amycastielismybaestark112]

COMBUSTING VALONSTRADE ALTERNATE UNIVERSE LOVE- by AmyCastielismybaeStark112

Meeting in a coffee shop? One of them is a hot tap and the other one a cold tap? The possibilities are endless!

Chapter 1- Introduction (13/05/2016)

Heyyyyyyyyyyyyy guys! It's been a few days and I got so many positive review from the last fic I wrote that I decided to continue the Valonstrade storyline- but WITH A TWIST. Tens of people have been asking for it, and here it is! AUs- YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!1!

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Chaptr 2- COFFEE SHOP AU (13/05/16)

Felix had been working that coffee machine for long time, almost all of the day in fact. He checked the clock and saw that it was five minuets to closing time- just enough time for the shop to close in time in five minutes. There was not a single soul in sight- the shop was like super empty. He worked in Starbucks and was a bit of a hipster tbh. He wore thick black glasses and a beanie over his mop of golden hair with added feathers and plaits, and he always ate off a wooden plank. So he was either a hipster or a viking. Yes, it was a good life for Felix, especially since he could work super fast thanks to his incredible cosmic powers.

It was raining much and he was glad he had brought his incredible cosmic umbrella for the walk back home. (He lived alone and without a car because he was orphan.) He pondered this with much Drama! and Angst! when he suddenly heard the door open. Sighing inside his angst-ridden head, he didn't look up as he continued to scrub the counter. Somebody who had the nerve to come in this late could wait while he finished cleaning up. It wouldn't take him long to give this loser a crappy cup of coffee and then show them the door.

"Excuse me, sir?" The voice he heard made him stop. It was soft and polite, which was weird cos the guy acted like such a cock to be arriving at this late hour. Felix looked up slowly and GASPED!!!!!! when he was met with a BEAUTIFUL SIGHT with his orbs that could see better because they were incredibly cosmic and math.

This man was soaked from head to foot, his wings glistening with water droplets that glistened. He had hair and a face, which were features that Felix looked for in a person to date. "Yes?" Felix replied stuttering a little because he was head over heels (his heels were glittery and green) for this winged man. He seemed to be nervous as well, because he was sweating a little. This might have been the rain but "I'm Lestrade. I... I've seen you here many times and wanted to get to know you." Felix gulped? "Why are you so late in coming here?" Felix asked. Lestrade shrug. "I was nervous." Felix laughed. "Oh, you didn't have to be Lestrade." His anger melted like ice on a hot day. "Hey, how about I get you a coffee?" Lestrade nodded.

"Thank you. I like tea because Britan. What do you enjoy?" "Oh, just a simple grande iced sugar-free vanilla latte with soy milk," Felix replied as he whipped them both up. (A/N- That one is my favourite- review if you agreh!) Felix took a sneaky look at Lestrade as he was making the coffee. He smirked at his cuteness and his orbs widened at his hotness. He knew this was going to be an interesting five minutes.

THAT'S THE END OF THE FIRST AU- HOPE YOU LIKE IT!!!1

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Chapter 3- COLLEGE WORK PILES UP (16/05/16)

Whew- what a week I had! I'm going to act annoyed about it but not actually say what it is because I crave attention and sympathy from complete strangers. URGH BAD WEEK. WORST DAY EVER. UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Hope you enjoy my SECOND CHAPPER! It features song lyrics to express the feelings felt by Felix.

Work, work, work, work, work, work ~ Rihanna

Those meaningful lyrics were buzzing around Felix's head as he was cramming the night before a test. He hated studying and rarely did it because he always passed every test with at least 99.999999999999%. But this was different- it was his Incredible Math exam tomorrow and he needed to pass so he could enjoy the summer and sit on rooftops in the nighttime and have BANGIN' parties filled with Humour! with all his bestest friends. He had two tickets to see that new Victorian detective film and wanted to take his most bestest and loyal friend Jasper. He was so excited!

Because he studied so rarely (A/N- he mainly hung out at the skate park with his homies) he also spent very little time in the local library, which was where he was sat now. He looked around with much awe at all the books piled high. Bored, his orbs drifted to the corner of the room, where he saw a small boy with minature wings flopped in a chair. Because he had incredible cosmic powers, from here Felix could see that he was reading Wuthering Heights by Roald Dahl. Felix didn't know this kid. He had scruffy jeans and an oversized checkered shirt on- over a plain white t-shirt (A/N- OBSCURE BAND REFERENCE LOOK IT UP YOU HO). Felix looked down at his own clothes- black skinny jeans and a grey Van Halen t-shirt- covered by a black leather jacket (but it wasn't made from cows cos Felix is a vegantarian). Yes, Felix had more style, more friends and more cosmic abilities, but something about this kid made Felix curious. He decided to go an talk to him.

"Hello." Felix said as soon as he was just under a foot away from the shy boy. The shy boy looked up at Felix in confusion. He can’t have been much younger than Felix himself, but his small frame and wide orbs made him look young and vulnerable- especially since his wings hadn't yet grown big. "W-what do you want?" The shy boy asked shyly. Felix blinked twice, his orbs narrowing in shock. "Um... nothing. I just wanted to say hello." The boy cocked his head. "Oh." The boy went back to reading Tomb Raider. Felix flicked his blonde mane from his face and sighed. "I... haven't seen you around here much. What do you study?" The boy blinked. "Um.. Art." Felix screamed. "My friend Jasper studies that too!" The boy gulped loud. "Cullen? He gives wedgies to kids like me. He mean." "Maybe you deserved it." Felix said without thinking- his pride as a jock/emo overtook his manners and mild curiosity. The boy immediately looked Hurt! and Felix quickly went to correct himself. "I-" Before he could say anything else the boy got up. "Don't talk to me you PRICK!" He stood up and had tears in his orbs he ran away.

Felix watched after him in angst and decided not to follow- he had ruined whatever friendship he might have had with the shy Art student. Before he could go back to his studies, he noticed that the boy had left behind his library card in the kerfuffle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Felix used his powers to make it zoom into his outstretched hand. Looking up much close he saw the boy's scruffy form in the picture and smiled. Then he saw the name- Lestrade Jones.

Turning it over, he saw that his dorm room number was written on the back so decided to pay him a visit. He needed to apologise. He also knew he was taking to that film- if he said yes.

Since this is an AU I won’t finish this idea and leave it on an annoying cliffhanger. Love ya! <3 xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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Chapper 4- THE RED LIQUID THAT CIRCULATES IN THE ARTERIES AND VEINS OF HUMANS AND OTHER VERTEBRATE ANIMALS, CARRYING OXYGEN TO AND CARBON DIOXIDE FROM THE TISSUES OF THE BODY (30/05/16)

I couldn't think of a word for "blood" so I just put the google definition in haha X3 (also for the sake of this canon I'd say this is set in like 1868 or something LOL)

It was the 30th October- the day before Lestradula's birthday. He was much excited for all the presents his friends would give him! (Hopefully lots of blood and also dark clothes and black hair dye and black orbliner and black nail varnish because he was an emu.) The only problem was he had no friends because all the friends that came round for dinner were the dinner.

He decided to take a stroll in the darkness because it was totally his aesthetic- he had multiple Tumblr blogs where he reblogged pictures of matt black paint and coffins. He was walking along listening to this song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a-xWhG4UU_Y because why nOT HATERZ and it was his favourite vampire song to jam to as he walked alone down the winding dark roads with the spooky trees and hooting owls and stuff. (A/N- some of their other stuff is better but C'MON GUYS THIS IS SUCH A VAMPIRE LESTRADE SONG AMIRITE?????????????)

He hadn't been walking for long in the moody twilight (A/N- SUBTLE REFERENCE TO OTHER VAMPIRE RELATED LITERATURE) when he saw a hooded figure walking the other way. Taking action immediately, he swept his bat-like wings over his body, effectively disappearing into the darkness that was only illuminated by a new moon but luckily an eclipse was happening so it was very darker. He waited with bated breath (but not really cos he didn't breath cos he was undead) as he heard footsteps approaching- very slowly."My early morning snack had better hurry up!" Lestradula thought to himself. "It'll be breaking dawn at this rate!"

After what felt like an eternity (he would know cos he is undead) the man finally walked past Lestradula, allowing him to jump out with swift speed and unsheath his fangs- aiming for the man's bite-able neck. Before he could sink his teeth in, however, the man turned and blocked his attack with his arm, sending him hurling away. Lestradula snarled at this new foe. "WHO DARES DEFLECT LESTRADULA??" He asked in all caps. The man pulled back his hood to reveal an attractive face and a mane of long straggly blonde hair. He had a partial beard, it was just long enough to be rather unruly but not long enough to be likened to an old man. His orbs were golden and wolfish, and he scowled at Lestradula.

"IT IS I!" Lestradula hissed. "Who is I?" The man growled back at Lestradula, allowing him to finally click- he gasped. (if he could breathe air) "You're a werewolf!" The man nodded, his luscious mane flowing in the breeze of the midnight sun. "Damn right I am." Lestradula resisted the urge to kill him by asking his name. "My name? Felix." "Urgh that is such a dog name- you may as well be called Lucky or Spot!" Felix growled again. This man was intimidating and really annoying and not at all attractive or witty! "HOW DARE YOU!" he roared, resisting the urge to kill him. Lestradula cackled. "Do you want a belly rub?!" Felix went to punch Lestradula but he was too slow because it wasn't a full moon and Lestradula pulled his arms behind his back. He went to bite his neck but lingered. "I'll do it." He ignored the fact that Felix was a werewolf and (A/N- according to my most valuable sources) smelt like wet dog and was unappetising. "But I smell like wet dog to you- that's unappetising!" Felix responded, mildly scared for his life. "Besides, you're a disgusting vampire! And your wings are ugly! I would hate to be bitten by someone like you!"

Lestrade I mean Lestradula stepped back. The sun began to rise and as the light fell on him he started to glisten like glitter from a craft kit. Felix's orbs widened as he watched this odd creature. He had lied before. This vampire wasn't ugly- he was beautiful. He sighed internally for effect. Felix decided that the only thing that was good about him was his ability to fetch sticks foolishly thrown by unsuspecting humans (he then killed them). This vampire was something new- something different.

Lestradula regarded him one last time longngly but also sadly because he was rejected before turning on his heel. "Fine," he said bitterly, making Felix wince. He started to run off to suck the blood of twenty six unsuspecting virgin maidens when SUDDENLY........... "Wait! We aren't finished here IMMORTAL ENEMY!" Felix's shout made Lestradula turn on his heels in surprise. Felix resisted the urge to kill him by asking for his number.

Whew! That got a bit intense there. Also ASDFGHJKL VAMPIRE ROMANCES ARE MY FAVOURIT THINGS! I like this pretty unknown series by some chick called Stephenie Meyer. It's so underground and original you might not have heard of it. It was copied from my other gavourite book called 50 Shades of Grey though- Stephenie stole the entire plot so when it becomes big she might get sued.

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Chapter 5- XX CHROMOSOME (10/06/16)

I swer that is the only thing i rememebr from Biology class in High School (cos I sat next to a cute boy called David D Davies and he was SO MEGA HAWT so I didn't really lurn much hahahaha This one was based off of a prompt by Voyagerisbetterthantherestoftrek2001- thanks for reading and reviewing! :3

LaStrade opened her delicate orbs and was greeted by the sun streaming in through the octogon-shaped window. Wincing at the ultraviolet light invisible to the human orb, she closed her them again, rolling onto her feminine stomach. Her wings provided shade as she begged to the tooth fairy for five more minutes. After a few more minuets of being sleep she knew she had to get up to see the kids. They were her's and Fiona's (who was the complete love of her life). They had been together for a while now!!!!!!!!! How they met would always be engraved into her memory. It was back when she was doing her topless volleyball course, before her life was changed 5eva. Smiling to herself at the memory, she thought more about the recent events in her life.

After the oldest boy, A-Man, was returned home after being stolen away by her half demon father Amelio, life had returned to relative normality. A-Man was embracing his demon powers and using them for good. He even started helping his mother Fiona with incredible cosmic based heroic activities such as killing demons and lighting barbeques. Jacey the Unruly Daughter had started high school and was as unruly as ever- getting detentions every night! And then there was Jesse James, who was thriving in middle school and dabbling in being an American outlaw/train robber. That just left LaStrade, who was a pretty cool Inspector for the police. The fact that she had awesome purple wings definitely helped. (A/N- some of you wanted pink wings but that is soooo boring LOL) Yes, she was loving life. The fact that Fiona was heavily pregnant with their latest child gave her so much happiness- she loved her family!

She heard the kids getting up for breakfast and decided it was time of her to get up as well. Opening her eyes again, she saw on the side Fiona's necklace that her Father had gifted to her before he was killed by Black Widow. Yes, she had had a hard life, what with her Mother- Grandmother Willow- being killed by her ex Amelio. (A/N- Fun fact! Amelio had an embarrassing birthmark on his neck that was shaped like a giraffe. He had gotten much ridicule for it.) Frowning in thought, LaStrade rolled over to see that Fiona was already awake and reading Alex's Adventures in Wonderland by Louise Carroll. LaStrade laughed because she was balancing the book on her gigantic stomach.

"Hey," LaStrade said lovingly, sitting up to peck her wife on the cheek. Fiona closed her book and turned to LaStrade, smiling weakly. "What's wrong?" LaStrade asked, worried. "Is it the baby?" Fiona shook her head eight times. "I had a dream about you getting killed by Amelio last night." Her eyes were filled with Angst!, which made LaStrade sad. "I came back to life though, didn't I? Your incredible cosmic powers made sure of it." Fiona looked down at her baby bump and nodded. LaStrade copied her, grinning suddenly. "Have you picked any more names yet? I don't think "Yellow Apple" is an appropriate name, my love." Fiona grinned and rolled her eyes. "Yeah, you made that quite clear, my deer." She laughed. "Do you have any ideas?" LaStrade gulped. She did have one idea, but she didn't know how Fiona would feel about it. "Well... I was thinking maybe...... Willow." "After my Mother you mean?" LaStrade nodded? "If you don't like it we can totally-" Fiona kissed her softy, tears spilling picturesquely out of her soft azure orbs. "I love it. Thank you." LaStrade laughed. "I have been loving you this whole time." Fiona nodding. "I have been loving you too." They kissed again.

AAAAAAWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I think I'm getting the hang of this? TWO OF MY REVIEWERS SAY OTHERWISE BUT OH WELL I DON'T NEED DA HATERS IM NY LIFE OKAYS?????????? hOpe you liked that one anyways, I have a few more planned and then MAYBE another proper story? WHO KNOWS I MIGHT QUIT FOR TEN YEARS AGAIN AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ;3

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Chapter 6- LIFE UPDATE (11/07/16)

Hey guys....

Over the past ten or so years, this fan fiction series has been the best thing ever. But I just don't think I can continue it. What with all the hate from BraveLittleToaster997 and the fact that my boyfriend recently broke up with me- I can’t do it. I DON'T BELIEVE IN LOVE ANYMORE ALSO I LOST MY JOB AND I HATE ALL OF YOU THANKS FOR NOTHING.

MAYBE I WILL SEE ALL YOU HEATHENOUS, SLIMY WRETCHES WHEN I OPEN THE GATES OF HELL WITH MY DEMON POWERS THAT I TOTALLY HAVE. I don't hate all of you, just those who are REALLY MEAN.

Thank you those who were NICE ENOUGH TO REVIEW AND WERE LOVELY, like SwanQueen4Life827. See you all NEVER.

Kudos! :3 <3

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Chapter 7- BANNED (12/07/16)

I changed my mind. However this will be the last AU as I need time to think. Might not see you in a while.

Pernicious Of The Gray were getting pretty popular on the scene. Their hit song "Nothing but a Yellow Apple on sale" had squillions of views on YouTube and SoundCloud. The lead singer- Felix- was also big on tumblr and grindr and facebook and twitter and myspace and googleplus because of how hot he was. The bassist- Percy Jackson- had eight girfriends but his favourite was Ariel from The Little Mermaid. The keyboardist, Lestrade Jones, had a small fanbase of girls who liked how cute he was and photoshopped flower crowns onto his head for their tumblr blogs. The drummer was a girl called Amy who was kind of dating Felix in the past but they broke up and are cool now TOTALLY but he always loved her because of how hot and amazing and sexy and awesome she is because she is great and cool and totally awesome. There was also a triangle-player in the band called Black Widow but she didn't really do much it was more Amy cos Amy waas amwesone.

Felix and Amy had broken it off because Amy wanted someone better because of how cool she was which left Felic very angst-rdien and sad. You could tell because the songs he wrote were in a minor key and were much sad. Pecry tried to make him feel better by writing a song about Rainbows and water because he was obsessed with it?????????

One day Felix was tuning his guitar. It was black and had yellow lightning bolts on it and flames and also polka dots. It was the coolest guitar ever. Lestrade was playing the theme song to Sherlock on his keyboard. Percy and Black Widow and Amy weren't around because they weren't necessary for the plot. "What's up Felix?" He asked once he noticed the tears streaming down his chiseled, pale, perfect face. Felix sighed and turned away, putting his guitar on the sofa next to him. "I'm sad Amy dumped me. I thought we were great together." Lestrade sighed. He had secretly loved Felix for the past eight years but had kept it a secret so Felix would be happy with his girlfriend. Maybe now was the time to tell him? His wings ruffled in anticipation and nervousness as he considered doing it.

"Percy and Ariel are so happy together," Felix continued wistful. "The go zorbing and play golf and apparently their sex life is amazeballs." Lestrade nodding, but he secretly didn't want to hear about their sex life cos that would be gross. "Even Black Widow gets girls and boys, but she's been single for a while." His eyes lit up. "Hey! Do you think I should ask her on a date? She's cool right?" Lestrade blinked. "Well- you might ruin a good friendship." Felix sighed. "Yeah maybe, but... maybe she's been there all this time. Maybe she's been holding back because she didn't want to ruin #Famy." Lestrade gulped. "Yeah but... what if you ruin a good friendship and you could even break up the band!" Upon saying this, he realised what he was saying applied to #Valonstrade as well. The band was important- it was what bought the yellow apples and the crutons. He couldn’t risk ruining it now. Hopefully Felix and Black Widow would think the same. HOWEVER.... "I'm going to text her now. What can I lose? The band will be fine." Before Lestrade could stop him, Felix hit send.

Felix: Ayyyy bb wanna have sex w/me? We could also date? (12:56)

Black Widow: Felix! You finally noticed me! I have been loving you all this time! (12:56)

Felix: And I have been loving you too. <3 (12:57)

Felix showed Lestrade the messages, ecstasy etched on his face. (A/N- not the drug you IDOTS) Lestrade pretended to be happy. He pretended to be okay when they started dating and he pretended to be okay when Felix proposed a week later. He pretended to be okay when #Pariel and #BlackApple had a joint wedding. But he couldn't hide from the truth. He was gay for Felix. After a few months he slowly got over it and became happy for his friend. He knew that was the best thing to do. One day he met a boy and really liked him. "Hey, I'm Captain Jack Harkness. You're hot." Thus started the power couple and it lasted for many years until they both died but they died happy cos Lestrade found true love to get over his other true love Felix. (Also the band got more famous and they all were rich) THE END.

That was for all you non-Valonstrade shippers out there! I am still heavily shipping them but a different version felt necessary. I'm taking time off so I might not see you for a while. Kudos! :3 x

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