#I love Star Trek but it absolutely tracks that the black character barely gets any stories about him

[writing-marvel]

There’s Nothing Holdin’ Me Back - Peter Parker

Author: @writing-marvel

Character(s): Peter Parker/Reader, Ned Leeds, Michelle Jones, Aunt May

Word Count: 4776

Notes: So, this is the first part of the illuminate series and my first ever Peter Parker fic so please don’t be too harsh on me?! This gets slightly smutty, but goes no further than slight making out. No fondue, lucky Cap. Listen to the song here.

I wanna follow where she goes I think about her and she knows it

Peter’s heart leapt out of his chest each time he thought about her. The way her eyes would light up as she came up with yet another mischievous plan or something that was surely not what they were supposed to be doing. He would find himself smiling each time she did, and it was the sort of smile that could light up a room. It was one of those grins that caused your eyes to crinkle slightly and your cheeks to hurt.

She knew exactly what kind of effect she had on him, he knew because each time he became flustered she’d have a little smirk, she repeated the actions that sent him spiralling into such a state, but he couldn't find it in himself to care, because after all, he did the same thing to her.

Normally, Peter was a hesitant boy, he’d hold back, he wouldn’t throw himself into situations that were too dangerous (lest he be clad in his red and blue) but with her, he’d follow her to the ends of the earth.

She was new to the school, and he’d taken an immediate fascination to her the moment Liz Allen had reached out, offered her a seat at her table. Now if there’s any one thing Peter knew - despite almost knowing everything due to his borderline genius intellect, of course - was that the new kids were always swept up within seconds on their first day by the popular crowd. Being new was like a ���get out of jail free card’ for high school torture.

Having been seated next to him in his English Literature class, and he hadn’t taken much notice of her. However, when Liz Allan had entered the library, where their class was held, to take out a book she needed for an assignment, his entire thought track about the continual themes of love and hate in Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet had been gone. He let his head rest on his hand, watching as she glided through the shelves with elegance.

However, his heart was practically thundering out of his chest when her eyes locked on his table, and she was making her way over. For a split moment, he was delusional enough to think she was heading over to talk to him, but when she took place opposite the girl beside him, his hopes dropped.

Dishing out a much wanted and prestigious invite to this new girl to join Liz at a lunch table, she was quickly rejected by her and Liz looked positively shocked, but kindly accepted the girls decline and gathered her book, checking it out and leaving.

Peter, however, was thoroughly awestricken. This girl, whom he’d now had a chance to observe properly was actually very much of his interest. She wasn’t drop-dead gorgeous, but he was absolutely captivated by her nonetheless. Overlooking her physical appearance, she had just turned down Liz Allan because she didn’t want to become a well-known face. She was here for an education, not a prom queen nomination, and he looked upon that admirably.

Without any possible hesitation or any nerves, he tapped her on the shoulder, gaining her attention and he flashed her a cheeky smile, his head tilting to the side and she returned his grin.

“Hey, I’m Peter Parker, and how would you like to sit at the exact opposite of the popular table?”

I wanna let her take control 'Cause every time that she gets close, yeah She pulls me in enough to keep me guessing, mmm And maybe I should stop and start confessing Confessing, yeah

Peter had confessed his feelings to her when she’d been patching him up. With a grumpy pout, she paused her episode of Star Trek and made her way to the window, sliding it open and letting the superhero of Queens climb through with a grunt. Shaking her head, she straightened out her covers and patted the sheets for him to sit down, which he did.

Pulling out a first aid kit she had quickly assembled after his first few visits, she opened it up on the bed. “Suit off, Spidey, you know how this goes.” She teased and she was almost certain he was rolling his eyes under his mask, but he stood on shaky legs, pressing down on the spider emblem and letting the loosened material fall away to the floor.

She let out an audible gasp upon analysing the injuries littering his body, worse than she’d ever seen, and his head snapped up, black-rimmed eyes widening as he looked around. Her hand cupped his cheek and she knelt on the ground in front of him gently. Subconsciously leaning into her touch, he shivered slightly as her fingers traced in touches lighter than feather over his skin.

“Oh, Pete, I wish you’d be more careful.” She mumbled, not taking notice of her words until he stiffened under her touch, and she looked up with a raised eyebrow. “You think I wouldn’t know? My intelligence is insulted, Parker.” She grinned and he coughed lightly, clearing his throat. Moving her hand from his cheek, she hooked her fingers under the edges of his mask, and he lifted his own hand to pull it up and over his head, messy brown curls sticking up at odd angles.

“H-How long have you known?” He whispered, throat raw and fragile but she smiled, taking a seat beside him on her bed as she doused a cotton pad in rubbing alcohol.

“A good few months, but I figured you’d tell me when you were ready. Or never at all, either way, it’s your secret and it wasn’t mine to play with. I’m so proud of you though, Peter. Every article I read in the paper or news report flashing on the TV, I feel so proud of you.” She smiled and his breath hitched, although he tried to pretend it was from the sting of her dabbing at his cuts and not the intimate moment he’d just shared with the girl he loved.

“How did you know?” He whispered, though he’d waited until she’d finished patching him up and she shrugged, biting down on her bottom lip and worrying it between her teeth slightly.

“I guess, I always found it slightly unusual that you always came to me to be stitched up, but you never spoke. I questioned it. Why did Spider-Man have so much faith in me, but he couldn’t trust himself to speak? I knew it must’ve been someone I knew, because it was a trust like no other. Then it was the little things, like the times I’d hug you but you’d flinch, or the time I held your hand and you let me even though it hurt you because you had sprained your wrist, but I didn't know at the time. I just.. put together the puzzle pieces.”

He was stunned to say the least, and his face was almost as red as he suit when he found his next words. “So.. you can just read me like a book?” He mumbled and she chuckled lightly, reaching for his hand and lacing their fingers together, staring at their intertwined hands and nodding. “Does that mean.. you know about my.. f-feelings?” The words barely left his mouth they were spoken so quietly, but she heard them and she looked up at him with a smile.

“I’ve known about those for a while too.” She confirmed and he nodded, breaking their eye contact and swallowing thickly.

“The little things?”

“The little things.” She confirmed and he bit his lip, deciding to take a leap of faith. Lifting his other hand, he ignored the shooting pain in his shoulder and placed a hand under her chin, tilting her face upwards as he leaned in, catching her lips with his. The hand he was still holding tightened and he smiled into the kiss, receiving a whine from her.

“Stop smiling, I’ve been waiting to kiss you for four months, stop ruining it.” She teased and he pecked her lips again softly, grinning wildly when he pulled back.

“I’ve been waiting to kiss you for ten.”

Oh, I've been shaking I love it when you go crazy You take all my inhibitions Baby, there's nothing holdin' me back

You take me places that tear up my reputation Manipulate my decisions Baby, there's nothing holdin' me back

“You’re tearing up my reputation by making me do this, you know.” He stated, shaking the can in his hand while watching her as she scoped out her canvas.

“What reputation?” She scoffed, turning to face him with a bright smile and he shook his jaw dropped playfully. “Your reputation as May’s good boy?”

“No.” He huffed, sticking his tongue out and popping the lid off of the first can. “My.. Spider-Man reputation. I’m supposed to be the law, this is illegal, you know.” He prompted and she simply shrugged, taking no hesitations in spraying a thick red line across the bricks. He watched as she carefully began to graffiti the wall, a small smile on his lips as he watched her enjoying herself.

“Stop staring, P. If you don’t wanna’ get caught, you better spray fast so I can get the pictures for my project and we can get out of here.” She spoke, eyes never leaving her project as she swapped out her paint colours and Peter looked at the blank bricks before him, wondering what to do.

He eventually settled on something basic and they soon had the whole wall filled between them, as far as they could reach anyway, and she stepped back, admiring the work. Peter bit his lip as he looked at his own work in comparison to hers. His dodgy love heart barely resembled the shape it was intended to be and he’d used far too much paint, which was why it  was now dripping in rivers down the wall and it gave a very strong impression of a melted candle. She didn’t seem to mind however, because she began snapping pictures of it, moving around in an attempt to find different angles and eventually deciding she’d had enough of her art project for now.

He tucked his hands into his pockets, looking at the work they’d done together and he offered her his hand, the blue colours coating his own merging with the array of colours on hers as she accepted. “You know what would be cool?”

“What?” He mused, letting her tug him towards her apartment building.

“If you hang upside down and let me kiss you.” She turned to look at him and he raised an eyebrow.

“Like a Spider-Man kiss? With the webs and all?”

“With the webs.” She agreed, fingers playing absentmindedly as they waited in the elevator, and he nodded, thinking to himself.

“Let's do it.” He grinned, and she tilted her head to the side, a bemused expression on her face. “The Spider-Man kiss. Sounds like it’s going to be my new favourite thing.”

She says that she's never afraid Just picture everybody naked She really doesn't like to wait Not really into hesitation

Peter didn’t protest as his back slammed against the lockers, and he winced, because there was a large slash that he was sure had just reopened that had been caused the night before. Apparently, minding your own business was now on Flash’s list of do-not-do’s because that is exactly how he found himself now.

A thick forearm pressed against his throat as he gasped as Flash smirked, the pressure on his airways not doing much but it was enough to irritate his throat and he tried desperately not to cough, should that irritate the bully further. A small crowd had gathered around the moment Flash had not so accidentally knocked Peter’s books from his hands, which was what he hated the most.

If Flash picked on him when he was alone, it was usually a mean comment hurled at him and a rough shove to his shoulder that would send him staggering, but when crowds formed, it fed Flash’s inner attention seeker and the boy would not relinquish until he was sure everyone had seen him make a spectacle of poor Peter Parker.

While ‘poor Peter Parker’ was for sure not a term that could apply to him anymore, he knew he had to play the role, despite how much he desperately wanted to snap off Flash’s arm and beat him with it, because he was crumpling the new sweater Aunt May had bought for him.

Flash however was suddenly lurched backwards, the collar of his t-shirt tightening around his own neck as whoever had gathered his attention had tugged on it. His eyes glazed over in what could only be described as rage and Peter pitied the poor bugger on the receiving end of that anger. A very familiar face took place in his view and his eyes widened as his girlfriends normally beautiful smile was curled down into a scowl and Flash simply smirked, tilting his head to the side.

“Oh, well, look at that. Parker needs his bitch to defend him.” He snarled and Peter’s ears were practically steaming with how angry he was just from that comment, but luckily for him, he had a reliable best friend, and Ned quickly pulled him away.

“Excuse you, Flop, but you were in the way of my locker.” She growled, poking a finger into his chest firmly and he looked down at it, before back up to her. She’d stepped closer to him now, her jaw clenched and eyes flaring with aggression.

“It’s Flash.” He all but growled, taking an equal step closer to her and Peter was fearing for his girlfriend's life at this point because frankly, what was she doing?

“Is it?” She questioned, and Peter, along with the rest of the crowd that was watching with baited breath, couldn’t hold back their sniggering and Flash fumed, his face red and he was practically baring his teeth. “I mean-” she wasn’t done, and this time, she punctuated every other word with a harsh jab to his chest with her finger, “I’m pretty sure you’d have to be even remotely interesting to have a nickname like Flash. Like, you’re super intelligent, and you get the answer in a flash. But that's not you. Or maybe running, like for the Olympics? But don’t think I didn’t see you trip while jogging track the other day. You’re no quicksilver.”

He was now up against the lockers, his back pressed to the same spot Peter’s had been only moments earlier and Peter was practically shaking in excitement as the girl he could proudly call his put Flash in his place. “You bit-”

“Bitch? Is that the only insult you know? You sure aren’t a flash at comebacks either. You’re definitely a flop. So, Flop, get out of the way of my damn locker.” She hissed, and he quickly pushed past her, his shoulder connecting roughly with hers as he stormed down the corridor, doors slamming as he went and the crowd soon dispersed.

Peter however, was still standing in shock and staring at his girl, completely love-struck as she went through her locker and sorted her books, while Michelle and Ned looked positively repulsed by the ‘heart-eyes’ he was giving her. Taking a few short steps, he waited until she closed her locker, jumping slightly as he leaned against the metal doors beside her own, catching her by surprise.

“Hey Pete!” She smiled, leaning in to kiss him on the cheek, her lips lingering by his ear. “How’s your back? I should rebandage it before you go for your patrol tonight.” She smiled and he nodded, swallowing thickly.

“I will, but I wanted to say thank you. For that, just then.” He smiled, though now feeling slightly embarrassed he’d never had the guts to do it himself.

“I didn’t do anything, he was simply leaning on my locker and annoying me.” She played it off, and he was internally grateful that she didn’t make a big deal out of it. Leaning in closer, he nudged her nose to the side with his own, pressing a kiss to her lips as a thank you that she gratefully accepted.

“It was still pretty hot though, you should get bossy more often.” He teased, and she scoffed, slapping at his arm and linking her fingers with his as they walked towards their next class, chatting aimlessly about the nerdiest things possible.

Pulls me in enough to keep me guessing, whoa And maybe I should stop and start confessing Confessing, yeah

Oh, I've been shaking I love it when you go crazy You take all my inhibitions Baby, there's nothing holdin' me back

Spending the day with May to plan for Peter’s 18th birthday was exactly how you wanted to be spending your Saturday. Having decided to go out for a meal, you, May, Ned and Michelle had spent time saving up and getting a reservation, and you couldn’t be more excited about the evening to come. Of course, Peter hadn’t been able to keep his hands off you and that’s how you found yourself extremely grateful you’d booked a hotel room for the night instead of deciding to crash at his house.

Pressed up against the hotel door, your head tilted back, a low moan falling from your lips as Peter’s mouth moved hotly over your neck, quickly finding your sweet spot and sucking on it harshly. Your hand shot up, lacing into his curls and tugging lightly, a low groan rumbling from him and he pulled away, letting his eyes roam over the blushing red marks he’d left along your skin, which would undoubtedly leave a trail of purple marks she’d have a hell of a time covering up.

A smirk pulled at his lips and he let his lips find hers again as his hands slid from her hips to the hem of her dress, pulling the material up until it was bunched around her waist. One of his knees pushed her legs apart, his thigh pressing against her clothed heat and he loved the fact that she almost immediately responded, rolling her hips down in a desperate hope for friction.

“You know, princess-” His voice was raspy. Practically dripping with arousal and she whimpered just at the sound of it. “I love that you wore a blue dress and red underwear.” He teased and she nodded, hand lacing into the hair at the bottom of his neck, pulling his mouth back to hers, lips slanting together hungrily, teeth practically clashing with the heat and urgency of the kiss.

“Peter, please.” She mumbled against his lips and something inside him broke. His hands locked onto her hips, pulling her away from the door he’d had her pressed against and walking her backwards to the bed. Her knees connected with it, but before he let her fall, he tugged her dress up over her head, letting her kick off her heels.

She wasn’t too sure when Peter had become so skilled at undoing a bra, but he did it with ease now, and the material dropped to the floor. A growl sounded in his throat, his hands cupping her breasts and running his fingers over her nipples, kneading lightly as he tilted his head back, letting her kiss along his collarbone.

“I’m not gonna’ break, you know?” She mumbled, a chuckle vibrating against her lips as his hands tightened on her hips.

“You want it rougher, baby?” He cooed and she scoffed at his tone, hands pushing his jacket down his shoulders, letting it drop to the floor. Turning him around, she grinned as his knees hit the edge of the bed this time, letting him fall to the mattress. Crawling up to him, he propped himself up on his elbows, one eyebrow raised and she straddled him, rolling her hips down.

Another smirk was pulling at his lips as her fingers fumbled with the buttons of his shirt, and he resulted to sitting up fully, tearing it open and letting the remaining buttons drop to the floor or the bed as his lips found hers. Smoothing his hands down along her back, he let them cup her butt, squeezing softly and her lips parted as she moaned.

“Fuck, I love you.”

'Cause if we lost our minds And we took it way too far I know we'd be alright, Know we would be alright

“You’re kidding me, right?” He cursed, tugging at the ends of his hair as she stared at him incredulously. “You want to go to a college in California?” He seethed, holding up the letter she’d been ready to hand into school with her her college options on.

“Yes! It’s an amazing college and it has the courses I want, s-”

“It’s in California! It’s on the other side of the-” He shouted again, and May knocked gently on the door, opening it and peering inside. A stern look was on her face and she directed it at Peter, not wanting to invade on the conversation but silently telling him to ‘cool it’. He shook his head, taking a deep breath and clenching his eyes shut. “Hi, Aunt May.”

“I just wanted to let you both know dinner will be ready in five minutes.” May smiled and she nodded, standing and taking the paper from Peter’s hands.

“Thank you, May, but I won’t be staying for dinner.” She nodded to the older woman, who quickly accepted, leaving the room and Peter’s heart dropped.

“What do you mean you won’t be staying for dinner?” He stood in front of the door, blocking her from leaving as she took steps towards it.

“It means I’m going home, Pete, because you don’t get to dictate my life. I expected you to be happy for me, not throw it in my face.” She huffed, pushing past him and leaving, giving May a quick goodbye and he stood in the doorway of his room, thoroughly unsure how he was going to fix what he just messed up.

That had been three weeks ago, three weeks of agonising silence between the pair that neither of them were enjoying. She was still far too angry to speak to him and he was almost 100% certain they’d broken up, though neither of them had actually said the words, and he was too scared to approach her in fear of it being confirmed.

However, as she sat on her bed staring at the white envelope with the known stamp for her college on she couldn’t help but feel a great swell of sadness that he wasn’t here with her to open it. To kiss her and congratulate her if she got in, or to hold her and comfort her if she didn’t.

Her finger moved numbly across the seal, eyes scanning the page for the words she was looking for and a small smile rose to her lips as she read them. Accepted. She was going across the country to follow her dreams, but a larger feeling of complete and utter misery washed over her at how alone she felt in this moment, and how maybe Peter had been right.

Wiping at her face, she cleared the tears from her eyes and let the letter drop to her bed, answering the series of knocks at her door and she took a deep breath. On the other side was the boy himself, an apologetic smile on his face and she opened the door wider, coughing to clear her throat and stepping aside to let him in.

He took a seat on her bed, picking up the letter she’d been sent and reading over it, a wider smile than her own had been as he took in the information. “You were accepted!” He congratulated her and she nodded, crossing her legs beneath her as she took a seat beside him. “I was too.” He spoke, softer this time and she swallowed thickly, tears lacing her eyes again.

“That’s amazing, Pete. Where to?” She tried and his smile fell as he looked at her, hands cupping her face, thumbs running over her cheeks and wiping away the falling tears. Standing up, he pulled the letter from his back pocket, handing it to her. Folding out the crumpled envelope, she almost couldn’t believe the stamp across the front, and just to be sure, she lifted the envelope of her own to compare.

Identical.

Her eyes met Peter’s and he shrugged, shoving his hands into his pockets bashfully. Sniffling, she wiped at the tears on her cheeks for the second time, and she stood to meet him, wrapping her arms around his waist tightly and burying her face into his chest, taking in the faint scent of him she’d missed so dearly. “You applied to the same college as me?”

Feeling him nod against her, she pulled back, leaning up to press her lips to his in a searing kiss which he quickly reciprocated. “I looked at the courses, they have the one I want to do and they seemed pretty good. But it wouldn’t matter, this is your dream, and you’re too important to me. I’ll follow you wherever you want to go.” He whispered ands she found herself on the verge of tears once again, a watery smile being his answer.

If you were by my side And we stumbled in the dark I know we'd be alright, I know we would be alright

I feel so free When you're with me, Baby

Looking down at the girl in his arms, Peter couldn’t help but be in absolute awe of her. Her hair was splayed messily on the pillow, her lips parted just slightly and her eyes were closed, much to his dismay because he loved her eyes. The cold air in the room swept across his skin and he attempted to leave the bed, in order to grab a jumped to cover his bare shoulders her arms tightened around his waist, restricted him from going anywhere.

Moving in her sleep, he was worried he’d woken her and he stayed deadly still, breathing out slowly as he realised he hadn’t. Adjusting himself to lie down again, he lay on his back, pulling the blankets up as far as he could without his feet being exposed and propped a hand beneath his head, getting lost in his thoughts as he stared at the ceiling.

He’d had trouble sleeping lately, his mind swirling with worry and fear, but also with joy and hope. Fumbling quietly in the drawer beside him, he pulled out the small black box, popping the lid and letting his eyes settle on the ring inside. It’d taken him over a year to choose a ring. Having just celebrated her 22nd birthday, he remembered having lay in bed with her on her 21st and deciding he was sure he wanted to marry her.

And here he lay, a year later with a sure feeling that she was his world, and that he would stay with her for as long as he could, until death do them part, but he couldn’t work up the courage to do it. Having carried the box with him, he’d firstly planned to do it on her birthday, but he’d shied away. Having had many opportunities since then, he hadn’t taken any of them and he was getting angry with himself.

“Is that for me?” A voice broke his silence cheekily, a kiss being pressed to his chest and he jumped, swallowing thickly. He wasn’t sure exactly what to do as she sat up, pushing a pillow against the headboard and wiping her eyes with her hands so she could see properly. “Is that what I think it is?” She whispered, having gotten a good look at it now and he sat up too, nodding shyly. “It’s beautiful.”

“I-Is that.. a, um, a.. you know-”

“Of course it’s a yes!” She cried, leaning over and pulling his cheek down to her lip, pressing multiple kisses there. “How did you ever think that it would be a ‘no’?” She smacked his arm lightly and he whined in protest, a blush rising to his cheeks. He leaned down, pressing a long and loving kiss to her lips, slipping the ring onto her finger and holding her hand tightly, adjusting to the new and cold feeling he’d get each time he laced his fingers with hers from now on.

Baby, there's nothing holdin' me back.