#I literally cannot fucking flee to somewhere where I don't here fucking noises 24 fucking 7
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i am actively, actually, going to go fucking insane
#ββ πΎπΎπ² ππ±π³. Β β©β© Β find resurrection in the flames. ββ#I think I can say that! I think I can!#a quiet relaxing place does NOT exist for me anymore#I literally cannot fucking flee to somewhere where I don't here fucking noises 24 fucking 7#and it's reflecting on me physically in very bad ways!#I can't even block out the noises#I have pink noise on full blast#AND music#AND earplugs and I can still fucking hear these goddamn noises#I'm going to go insane. I've sobbed I've had panic attacks I've considered changing my therapy appointment to a 'i need this now emergency#appointment'#like how#how can i still hear this#why can't my brain be fucking NORMAL#I'm so fucking worried that the counseling session is just going to be a#'try some coping mechanisms :)'#when I've tried ALL of them and have exhausted ALL of them#I'm sorry I'm just so frustrated and tired#if you also have miso you'll understand but god I wish I couldn't hear anything at all#I think I'd be doing something bad and drastic if I didn't want to give up music#self harm mention tw#just in case#i have some other earplugs coming as well but I'm so worried they won't do anything more to help
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