#I know they involve unitary group theory bc I'm a math ho but I have no interest in actually solving one

[good-to-drive]

I'm imagining they were all given a Rubik's Cube as a present/joke, and left to fiddle with it during a press conference.

PAUL:

Paul is immediately worried he's the only one who doesn't know how to solve it. He surreptitiously glances at the others, sees that none of them know what to do either, and calms down considerably.

He'll just pretend to try for a bit. Move a side here, a side there. Pause to stare at it in contemplation. Politely put it down and ignore it when he's asked a question.

That night he meticulously takes the cube apart with a screwdriver and puts it back together solved.

He casually mentions the next day that he solved it, but doesn't make a big deal out of it. He's relieved no one seems to care.

Decades later, he admits he took it apart. He makes it such a fun story. His fans are split on whether this is cute and silly like he seems to think, or if it's proof that this man so often stereotyped as cute and silly is actually savvy and clever and complex.

They also lament bitterly that he's so hated for this cute, clever story. That's how Paul is treated in this society.

Everyone else hears the story and thinks, "Huh, that's kinda weird that he did that," and never thinks about it ever again.

GEORGE:

Immediately obsessed.

The entire world disappears. It's just George and The Cube.

He can't put it down, but he also can't solve it. He tries a million strategies, none of them work.

He starts taking notes on what he has and hasn't tried, comparing various solutions, reading everything about group theory and manual and computer cubing methods he can get his hands on.

It's been several weeks now. He's shirking all of his other responsibilities, neglecting his loved ones. His family is worried about him. They don't know it's The Cube that's got him, he doesn't have time to explain.

Finally, he thinks he's developed an original algorithm to find optimal solutions. He tests it a few dozen times. It works.

He thinks, "That was fun, I guess," and puts the cube away and forgets about it forever.

Sometime after his death, the cube and the solution are discovered. It's framed as an expression of his fascination with unanswered questions, how an uncontrolled instinct to learn new things shaped so much of his life. It's a metaphor, really, and it's a very interesting and revealing story.

It's a guy solving a Rubik's Cube.

The story has no legs.

JOHN:

He tries for about 30 seconds before getting bored. He puts the cube down. He wants to talk to Paul, but Paul is busy pretending to solve it. No one is asking him anything. This is boring.

He takes out a pen and starts doodling little faces on the squares to pass the time. He forgets the cube when he leaves.

Years later, the cube is worth hundreds of thousands of dollars. It has become a symbol of his wacky creativity and disdain for the rules, of an unpredictable mind and a childlike imagination.

People say it's the sign of a man who's only choice when faced with an unsolvable problem is to turn it into art.

They argue about whether any of the faces are supposed to be Paul (and you're fucking stupid if you don't think they all are, god.)

People also rage against the cube and the cult of personality around it. This same childish disdain for the rules caused problems for everyone around him, they insist. Those mean little caricatures of Paul are so petty, and actually, they don't look like him at all. John was obsessed with him, god.

It garners far more attention than Paul's cube even though Paul's cube is actually solved.

RINGO:

Immediately decides he can't solve it.

No, that looks really hard, and he's not the smart one, he's The Drummer. He plays it off with a self-deprecating joke.

He absentmindedly turns a couple of sides, just for something to do. Oh, if he turns this piece like that, and this one like that... and then if he....and then...

Shit. He solved it. He solved it.

How did that even happen?

Is he some kind of savant?

Are people going to expect him to be some kind of savant now?

This is so cool, but it also kinda sucks.... He doesn't even know how he solved it, he definitely doesn't know if he can do it again. Maybe he should mess it up. Choose to remain The Drummer, the dopey guy, to keep his newfound brilliance a secret to escape the expectations and closer examination that come with that kind of attention. Yes, he'll mess it up, that's the only thing to do--

Oh, wait, there's five other sides. It's not solved anyway.

Never mind, then.

Me and my brothers used to play this game where we'd make up how such and such a person would solve a Rubik's Cube (e.g. Alexander the Great would solve a Rubik's Cube by peeling off all the stickers so the whole thing is one color and that means he won, Stalin would solve a Rubik's Cube by having the cube shoved up Ernő Rubik's ass until he agrees to publicly declare that Stalin is the best Rubik's Cube solver ever in history) and I'd like to do a post like this for The Beatles but I suspect it would exclusively appeal to me and my brothers