#I know that's self insert fanfictions are generally considered something on the same level as shitposting
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I'm probably one of the only people in these times that's an incredibly weird place creatively, because I'm almost 30 years old, I'm incredibly mature, more mature than most people I see post on the internet, I have a lot of nuanced detrimental complex philosophical thoughts all day everyday, I am tragically thoughtful, and yet every single time I open up this app, at least half the time I see people posting cringe warnings about self-inserts and fanfictions and anything posted on fanfiction.net, which is where I am posting my work daily in the forms of self-insert which I take incredibly seriously, what a strange combination of a culture. I'm severely depressed and my self-esteem is low as anything but it's also kind of funny, or could be, how utterly strange of a combination it is for a person to process their suffering.
#I know that's self insert fanfictions are generally considered something on the same level as shitposting#but I'm pretty sure that nobody has ever read myself inserts#I'm an incredibly weird person and nothing I do is conventional or ever has been#so it's hard to say for sure what category my fanfiction goes into and I'll never know because nobody reads it#but I just assume whenever I see an anti-fan fiction post on here and that it's probably true
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āļø writer interview tag
tagged by @luvwich š¼ and definitely didn't forget about this for almost a week
When did you start writing?
I think I was writing self-insert naruto fanfiction when I was 12 lol. After high school I stopped writing for about ten years, and finally picked it up again in 2020 when I was unemployed.
Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?
I don't think so- I mostly read SFF but everything I read that I like ends up thrown into my writing in some way or another. I've been wanting to expand into maybe not other themes/genres but other forms of writing? Games writing has a lot of interesting things like handling branching paths & worldbuilding/contextual/found note stuff that I think I would enjoy but I'm not quite there yet.
Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?
No one has ever compared me to writers that I'm aware of and there's no one that I specifically emulate. However after writing a fair amount and then re-reading some of my favored books I can see where I've picked up bits of style. Recently I noticed some stuff from Gillian Flynn and Ann Leckie that I realize I do in my writing as well. I guess for me it's less emulating or channeling a writer than wanting to use one of their tools that I admire, if that makes sense?
Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?
I don't have a writing space per se. When I was really ill I wrote in bed, sometimes I write in my home office. Sometimes I'm standing, sitting, laying down. Most often I have a little lap desk and I'll be in the living room on the couch, either on my laptop or writing on paper.
What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?
Annoyingly if I'm not already plagued by something then resting for a while usually brings on a muse. If I'm healthy and emotionally stable then there's usually something scratching at the back of my head that is inspiring me to write. If not, well- then I'm probably not going to get much done or be able to summon a muse.
Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?
Oh boy, yeah. Lots of transgender and identity adjacent stuff. Learning to live with what you have and maybe even like it. Being horny at inopportune times. Characters being forced to consider what they want and maybe even ask for it to turn their lives around. How life is so goddamn weird and messy and beautiful. None of it is surprising in general but I do sometimes get blindsided in editing by how yet again I've managed to hit the same theme (but it feels good!)
What is your reason for writing?
If I don't get the words and the stories out of me I get sick.
Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?
People telling me they want to read more is always really motivating! I also get extremely chuffed if someone says they've had a similar idea to what I had or had read a character the same way- it's like knowing that someone else wants to see the story play out and I need to keep writing it.
How do you want to be thought about by your readers?
I'm just a silly little guy who is also handsome and perfect (and humble).
What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?
I work really hard on balance in writing, and I feel like I do a pretty good job with that one a strategic and tactical level. Things like allowing some time to breathe, and then having moments where things are chaos. Or the tone of a chapter- putting a little laughter in grief, or a some sadness in joy to enhance the flavor. :3
How do you feel about your own writing?
I'm so glad I started writing again, and I'm so glad I never gave in to the early desire to delete everything I didn't like. Mostly how I feel is that it's so much fun, and it's satisfying to write, and I feel like I'm learning on the go. I reread my stuff a lot because it's for *me* and I love it even with its flaws. I made that!
When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?
I write mostly for myself, although obviously like everyone else I also want everyone else to enjoy it (mostly in the sense that since I like it I think everyone else should too lol). But I realize that's not practical and that's okay too- like I said, I reread my own stuff and enjoy it so while I'm of course always looking for ways to collab or share with others it's really me following my heart.
Not tagging because I'm late to the game and I'm not sure who's already been asked or played. But as always an open tag to anyone who wants to play :3 tag me back so I can read your interview!
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Iām not going to add on to the original post, because that just sounds like an absolute nightmare of a decision, but I do feel the need to lay my cards and thoughts on the table in regards to this exchange:
Where can I even begin.
Danteās Inferno, and the Devine Comedy as a Trilogy, was Danteās attempt to posit the questionĀ āWhat if the Heaven, Purgatory, and Hell mentioned vaguely in the bible were actual places? What would they be like and who would be there.ā In doing so, he took a few concepts and characters from the bible and old testament to use as filler characters and guides. To flesh out this alternate universe he describes, he used real people from his own life and the political setting of his time, as well as a slew of historical figures to use as examples for who got punished where, according to him.
No one, and I mean no one, was equating Danteās Inferno to ālarry stylinson mpregā, but since you really, REALLY want to go there:Ā ālarry stylinsonā, for those not aware, is a ship names for a pair of men who were members of the band, One Direction. I never touched that part of the internet in particular, but, ignoring the condescending tone ( and, you know, Iām gonna throw out there that the term mpreg smacks hard of some transphobic bullshit that this post isnāt necessarily about, but is most certainly worth mentioning), the existence ofĀ āLarry Stylinsonā fanfiction does fall in to a particular subsect of fanfiction: RPF (real people fiction). For the record, there is MUCH controversy, even in the many fandom communities, about the morality of shipping real actual people in this way. I personally do not condone it, but much like the transphobic bullshit OP insisted on bringing up, the morality of that is not necessarily the subject of this post.
EXCEPT
Thatās exactly what Dante wrote, right down to to the use of Beatrice, a roman noble to whom Dante had previously dedicated many poems, as the embodiment ofĀ ādivine knowledge bestowed by graceā all the way to the point where his love for her is a catalyst to his ascension in Heaven. My dude Dante was just shipping himself with her. Never mind theĀ āSelf Insertā bits. We already know he just straight up wanted to write about his own imagined journey to enlightenment. Whatās more important is that BeatriceĀ is there. Along with other political figures, she is a real personĀ he is writing this fiction about.
Her, along with other political and historical figures of the time, saved Dante from the trudge work of designing and describing made up characters. What else serves this purpose, allowing an author to focus more on other parts of their craft and story telling?
Oh yeah. Fanfiction.
But youāre right, the fact that The Divine Comedy features Dante himself in a self insert protagonist role does not, in itself, mean that the entire work is fanfiction. Just like the fact that it was written between 1308ā21 doesnāt negate the fact that it was based on the Bible and Roman Catholic Theology. Fanfiction, as a concept, wasnāt a coined term until 1939, and has since undergone a change or two in context/meaning. But the concept, as it stands now, is pretty clear: Fanfiction is a piece of derivative fiction as a tribute to another work or artist.Ā
Now OP also argues that it canāt be fanfiction because its anĀ āEpic Poemā. Iām gonna level with you here; just like fanart is still fanart even if itās featured later in the work itself, itās still fanart. Fan-movies are also still a type of movie, and in the context of building on existing fiction, a form of fanfiction as well. People write fanfiction in the form of poems. Widen your fucking perspective.
Now, finally, to get a bit more general about your ice cold, shortsighted, condescending points: Not all fanfiction is silly, dirty, random, cringy, unedited garbage, as you seem determined to imply it is. Just like not all books are well written and worth reading. I love books. I love fanfiction. But you know which stories Iāve read have been the most personal, honest, touching, and emotional?
Fanfiction.
Which one is more accessible? Monetarily, as long as you have an internet connection and know what youāre looking for, the answer is fanfiction.
But which one is more respected? Obviously books. But why? Whatās the difference? Books go through thorough editing and polishing to be published. The author is paid, usually, as a result. The product is bound and distributed -- or, in some cases, formatted and distributed digitally.
That being said, silly books exist. Trashy books exist. Self published books, books filled with typos and miss-prints, books that are based on other works in the public domain (yeah, bitch, Iām talking about fairy tail re-writes. Itās fanfiction too. Just because itās based on public domain property and published for money doesnāt mean itās not fucking fan fiction.)
So how do you find a goodĀ book as opposed to a bad one? You can go to a bookstore and just pick at random til you find one, but not every book you find is going to be well written or your cup of tea. Usually, it helps to be recommended a good book.Ā
The same goes for fanfiction. You want a good long fanfic? Just fucking ask someone. You want something well written, with amazing story arc and progression and pacing? JUST. ASK.Ā
And you know what? Fanfiction isnāt for everyone. Some people only enjoy things that continue where canon left off. Some people just want to picture their favorite characters happy for once in their fucking lives. Sometimes you just want to wonder what would happen if a show that had a good foundation was written by someone who actually knew how to fucking write. Sometimes you want the equivalent of Pulp Fiction books or short stories.
Thatās all fine and beautiful.
You know what isnāt fine and beautiful?
OP being a pretentious piece of absolute trash. Please, for the love of everyone who has ever written or read anything, be less awful.
PS. Other classics that should be considered fanfiction include, but are not limited to:
The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1831) Author: Victor Hugo Fanfiction for: The Notre Dame
Paradise Lost (1667) Author: John Milton Fanfiction for: The Book of Genesis from the Bible
Any Shakespeare Play Based on History (17th Century) Author: Shakespeare Fanfiction for: World History
The Aeneid (19 B.C. -29 B.C) Author: Virgil Fanfiction for: The Iliad
Lord of the Flies Author: William GoldingĀ Fanfiction for:Ā Ā The Coral Island,
The Three Musketeers Author: Alexandre Dumas Fanfiction for:Ā Ā MĆ©moires de Monsieur d'Artagnan
For Sources on Danteās Inferno and the Divine Comedy:Ā https://www.britannica.com/topic/The-Divine-Comedy
TLDR: OP is pretentious and Condescending and the only thing stopping fanfiction authors from publishing as actual books is copyright and connections in the publishing industry.
#new post so op doesnt get more notes#im could actually go on longer but I wont#I will STOP myself at 1132 words#in other news im still upset at how people talk about fanfiction and degrade it#like do you really want us to be able to point at some of the most godawful published books and say well if this exists theyre all like this#long post#not sorry for the long post
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š xavier and wren!
xavier:Ā
i speak about them so often that i feel like iāve run out of trivia at this point... well, if there are any repetitions i apologize in advance.
-Ā xavier considers themself an Epic Gamerā¢ and unsurprisingly has a penchant for minecraft. and yes, they actually enjoy playing minecraft - it is not simply for the sake of memes. though that is the onlyĀ āmodernā game that holds their interest; they much prefer retro titles such as the older pokemon games (especially pokemon crystal), earthbound, megaman, and kirby.Ā
- letās throw in another pokemon-related question just because i can... their favoriteĀ āmons include gengar, dragonite, blastoise, and quagsire! they also have an affinity for dragon-type pokemon in general.Ā
oh, and while they donāt play the more recent titles that often, they adore the shinx line.Ā
- their hair is naturally light brown, but turned white due to the... severe trauma they were subjected to during childhood. this is sometimes referred to as āmarie antoinette syndromeā.Ā
- if xavier hypothetically had a youtube channel, people would assume that all of their videos are just clickbait because of the absurd challenges listed in the thumbnails... but they actually commit to those challenges, regardless of how dangerous, illegal, or downright impossible they may appear.Ā
- their birthday is may 30th and they are a gemini... to absolutely no oneās surprise. fun fact, though - that was the exact date when i originally created xavier, so i consider it a national holiday.Ā
- they have not cut their hair once in the past decade or so... hence why xavier is constantly referred to asĀ ārapunzelā. but the idea of losing even a single strand of their so-calledĀ ābeautiful locksā frightens them more than anything in the world.Ā
- xavier is 5ā²7ā³, so theyāre fairly average... but is a little annoyed by the fact that their boyfriend still manages to beat them by a few inches.Ā
- xavierās go-to weapon is a baseball bat adorned with spikes... letās just say that theyāre prepared for the zombie apocalypse when it ultimately comes around.Ā
- their favorite meme is bongo cat, but nyan cat is a very close second. xavier is fond of cat-related memes, needless to say.Ā
- they have the entire bee movie script memorized by heart, and i am not even kidding about that. whenever xavier wants to lawrence to do something for them, theyāll tempt him via torture by doing a dramatic reading of the entire script and slowly kill off his braincells.Ā
- they are gay as fuckĀ
wren:Ā
- itās a known fact by now that wren adores flowers, and iāve stated on multiple occasions that his absolute favorites consist of snapdragons, hyacinths, carnations, and asters. but he is also fond of lillies and anemones as well.Ā
Ā - wren, embarrassingly enough, used to write a lot of... fanfiction during his youth. specifically with a self-insert he invented with the main antagonist of his favorite novel... meaning that wren has a thing for bad boys, in spite of his gentle nature.Ā
- wren and jevon will occasionally do duets together - with a violin and piano respectively. wren does not consider himself on the same level as his brother yet, but jevon has been teaching him everything he knows - in exchange for lessons on gardening.Ā
- wren is the kind of person who will dress like heās going to a business meeting when itās just a casual outing. well, considering that wren isĀ a prince and all, he feels that he must always look professional... and his closet comprises solely of tailcoats and suits, anyway. thankfully, heās been receiving some fashion tips from his sister, elena.Ā
- he suffers from severe social anxiety, to the point he cannot look at a stranger in the eyes without breaking down. while wren has worked to improve himself, itās an incredibly slow process... and given that he is basically a shut-in, he doesnāt have many opportunities to practice. the only people he can maintain a proper conversation with are... well, his siblings.Ā
- nonetheless, wren is also quite the romantic. he has spent the majority of his childhood indulging in romantic literature and daydreaming of the day when he could possibly sweep someone off their feet... but the wren of his imagination is a far cry from his actual personality, unfortunately. one time wren stepped on a ladybug and he cried about it for an entire week.
- people have also compared wren to that of a mouse, given how quietly he speaks... along with his overall jitteriness. only his siblings have mastered the ālanguage of wrenā thus far.Ā
- wren is nonbinary and bisexual, predominantly using he/him pronouns but doesnt mind they/them either!Ā
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Book review ā Stranger Than Fanfiction
After loving Chris Colfer's Land of Stories series, I picked up his latest book without a second thought. What a fool I was.
You know how "don't write a self-insert" is such a common writing advice that it has people arguing against it, and not unreasonably so, on the grounds that any character one writes has an element of oneself, and desperately trying to avoid that only results in trite, flat characters because you have no real experience to ground them in?
Yeah, well this book reminds you why it's a common advice in the first place. Oh, but don't worry, it also does so much more wrong! It's like a massive clusterfuck of "why do you waste my time so?" Really, this could have had its own snark. You've been warned.
Stranger Than Fanfiction is the story of five characters. Or, really, four plus one characters. Four kids just out of high school, who are faced with the dramatic change of going to college, being split from their best friends by virtue of going to live all across the States, and each with one (1) personal conflict. It's paint-by-the-numbers character arc for a coming of age storyā¦or at least, that's the concept. But before I get to the details, we also have our fifth protagonist, Cash Carter, who's an uber-popular actor famous for a series aimed at young adults and totally not the author's avatar. Ahem.
The plot is this: out four kids are Christopher "Topher" Collins (who may or may not be a second self-insert, yes, really), Sam Gibson, Joey Davis, and Moriko "Mo" "I couldn't be bothered to use my Japanese character's full name, and I don't know if that reflects more badly on my characters or myself as an author, but probably both". They're going on a road trip together before college, and Cash crashes the trip after Topher sends him a heartfelt letter (which he has for most of his teenage years). If you have issues with this premise, congratulations on realizing that an actor hanging out with teenage fans is a little bit creepy and notā¦whatever the book thinks it is, exactly.
Cash is essentially a Manic Pixie Dreamā¦Celebrity, for lack of a better term. His role in the plot is to provide each of our protagonist with an easy out to their issues (and don't worry, I'll get back to that in a moment), while vomiting bitter thoughts about the famous life. Considering his viewpoints are never even challenged by the narrative, it's hard to feel like this is anything but the author's own thoughts. That, or Chris Colfer is actually a mediocre author who got a publishing deal solely based on his pre-established fame, but that could never happen. His style totally doesn't have a million amateur mistakes that a professional should have caught, either.
But really, even if these aren't the author's views and he's just presenting an argument in abstractā¦he doesn't really do that well, either. Because he lumps together paparazzi and rabid, stalking fans on one hand (whichā¦is a problem) with critics, of all things. How dare people hold you accountable, right? It's not like everyone is accountable to someone, and the only difference when you're a celebrity is scale, because 1) more attention means more people you're accountable to and 2) more influence means your actions have bigger consequences.
And it's really hard to feel sad for Carter who just "can't even be young" (because being young always entails wild partying, sex, and drugs, right?). I'm sorry, but the guy is, in universe, filthy rich and headlining the most popular show on television. And if that doesn't make up for it, keep in mind that he could justā¦you know, keep it on the down low. What most teenagers who act up have to do anyway, if only because they don't want their parents to find out.
Look, it's not like our society has no legit issues with its handling of celebrities. Yes, privacy is something everyone deserves. Yes, sex negativity is bad, and our relationship to recreational drug use needs a serious change towards a more accepting stance that will lead to more responsible use. But it's really hard to care about any of that when it's presented likeā¦this:
You know it's bad when there's a dead meme that already makes fun of what you're doing.
If you agree with anything I just said, well, your enjoyment of this book is compromised, because Cash Carter rants often, a lot, and keeps using the same talking points. It's almost embarrassingāor it would be if it wasn't so annoying too. If you needed to vent, writing a novel wasn't the solution, Mr Colfer.
Okay, that's one protagonist out of the way. Let's look at our coming of age stories for this book, how our Manic Pixie Dream Whiner comes into them, and why it all fails so, so very hard.
The easiest is Topher, becauseā¦well, he doesn't really have a problem. I mean, he does, but it's not an internal problem, because I guess the author knows what a coming of age story is, what a character arc is, but not which character arcs work for a coming of age story. So Topher has a sick younger brother and a single mom to take care of both of them. His "problem", if you can call it that, is that he's staying in his hometown to go to a lesser college to help his mom take care of his brother. Wow.
Next is Sam. Sam is a trans boy in the closet. So far in the closet that, until his gender is "revealed" in his first PoV chapter, he's actually referred to by "she" pronouns (including in said PoV), which I'm fairly certain is a bad idea. You're literally using the narration to perpetuate the idea that being trans is a "twist", a surprise. Or dare I sayā¦a trap? That's probably not the intent, mind you, but it's still what it comes across. Sam also has the distinction that Topher has a crush on him. More on that in a moment.
Joey is our token black gay. I mean, token black guy who happens to be gay. He's gay. That's his conflict. Well, specifically, he's gay and his family is very religious and openly homophobic, but still. Also, he plans to get laid during the road trip.
Finally, we have Moriko. As you might have guessed, I'm already annoyed that the book consistently refers to her as "Mo", because it sounds a lot like Japanese names are just too complicated for this book. As another token (and yes, she and Joey really feel like tokens rather than part of a diverse cast), she also has a pretty weak conflict. Basically, she wants to go to a writing school, her dad wants her to go to a "serious" college instead, to have a career that makes money and stuff. I'm pretty sure it's a racial stereotype of some kind.
So how does this all play out? Well, I'm glad you asked. Three of our protagonists are keeping a secret, and they all eventually confess that secret to Cash, even though Cash proves to be a giant, self-absorbed asshole. That actually sort of works, and even starts like a pretty standard character arc. But then there's the resolution. Which is to say: Cash outs all of their secrets. At once. To everyone else.
Considering two of three secrets are characters in the closet, we already have a very bad start. Outing people is not okay, you guys. Don't do it. Even if you're 1000000% positive that it won't have negative consequences, justā¦don't do it. If someone came out to you, they trusted you with a very important secret, do not betray that trust.
But on a pure writing level, this is alsoā¦very weak. It means the characters don't progress or grow; instead, they're just forced to deal with the consequences of their secret being out in the open. It forces three of your four protagonist to be reactive characters instead of proactive ones; and since the fourth protagonist is completely passive, he's not faring much better.
So after that "climactic" (using the term very generously) reveal, we followā¦Topher, the guy who had nothing bad happen to him. Well, okay, his crush on Sam was also put out in the open, but come on, that doesn't count. All he has to deal with is knowing that his crush is a boy, and the book phrases it in the most ambiguous way possible that ends up kind of implying he still sees Sam as a girl, kind of, sort of? He says he wants them to be "gray" (as in, in a gray area) together, even though Sam's gender is pretty clear-cut and there's a word for a person who's attracted to girls and boys. It's "bisexual". It's not used in the book at all.
The rest of the cast? Well, now that their secret is out to their best friends, I guess they're suddenly fine coming out to the rest of the world too. Or, in Moriko's case, to just tell her dad no, and to emotionally blackmail him into accepting her choice. But that's okay, because the end justifies the means?
Meanwhile, Joey's kicked out of his home, but Topher's family takes him in and his mom will still talk to himā¦just, you know, not at home and while trying to make sure she's not seen by anyone. Yes, this is a thing that happens and it's treated as a joke that Joey's mom is ashamed to meet him. Ha ha ha. Sam's mom (also a single parent, it's kind of weird how three of the protagonists have those) accepts her son, on the other hand. And yes, there's something a little weird about how both white protagonists have wonderful accepting parents and get everything they want, while both the black boy and Japanese girl have awful parents and lose something to get their happy ending. It just reeks of "you didn't even stop to think about it, did you?"
As for the resolution of Cash's characterā¦if you can call if thatā¦well, he was dying of cancer the whole time, and all his acting up was the result of wanting to live his life to the fullest before dying. He also leaves huge sums of money to the protagonist (after they forgive him) so they can all go for their respective dreams (and in Topher's case, abandon his mom and brother guilt-free). A true Manic Pixie Dream Celebrity to the end. And was that really the best use of his money? Just because they were the only four to "see him as a person"? Way to imply the rest of the fandom all dehumanize you.
Problem is: Cash didn't earn his forgiveness. He was horrible, he keeps being horrible, but now we know he's dying and that changes everything? Yeah, no. You can enjoy life to the fullest without being a jackass to everyone around you. Neither did the protagonists earn their happy endings. And if they don't earn it, it means the coming of ageā¦didn't happen, basically.
Oh, and speaking of coming (yes, I had to make that joke). I mentioned that Joey was planning to lose his virginity during the road trip. Yeah, I have to address this separately. See, Sam and Moriko tell Cash their secrets in fairly drama-free circumstances, but Joey doesn't even choose to tell him. Instead, while he's meeting a guy from a hook-up app (who turns him down after puzzling out that Joey is an eighteen-year-old closeted virgin), he just happens to be spotted by Cash.
That sceneā¦drips with good sentiment, but honestly, I hated it. The whole "don't have sex if you're not ready" message is fine, but Joey doesn't feel like someone who isn't ready. He'd been chatting with his date for a while before even leaving, he'd done his research about preparation and safetyā¦he very much sounds ready to me. But no, he's not doing it with someone he's in love with, and therefore it's not good. It ends up reeking of "casual sex is bad", which, considering how much Cash complains when people criticize him for having sex, feels hypocritical. Doesn't help that this is absolutely what the author thinks, since Joey gets that talk from both his date and then from Cash. And after that scene, Joey no longer expresses the desire to have sex at all. This was an informed choice, and it was Joey's to make, so I hate that the book just takes it away from him. Sounds like you need some sex positivity of your own, book.
Stranger than fanfiction isā¦well, first of all, it doesn't really live up to its title. Oh, we certainly get a title drop at the end, but the events are very much not stranger than fanfiction. If anything, it only highlights another major flaw about this book: that it's clearly written by someone who knows about fandom and fanfictionā¦but only from the outside, as a celebrity who is the object of both instead of a creator or consumer of either. So not only does it fail at basic storytelling, it also fails at portraying the protagonists for who they're supposed to be.
On the plus side, at least now I'm cured of my ridiculous celebrity crush on Chris Colfer. Hurray for small victories!
#stranger than fanfiction#chris colfer#young adult#ya books#books#young adult books#book reviews#ya#reviews#book#book review#review#st: book reviews
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3,5,7,8,9,12,15,18,19,20
āæĀ Does anyone in real life know about your RPing hobby and what, if anything, have they said about it?
My parents know, because for as long as Iāve been on the internet, theyāve known that I like to write and write with friends overseas. My dad still calls it fanfiction somtimes to other people, like heās proud of me or something, and thatās enough to make me want to never talk to him again out of embarrassment, ha, but I deal with it. Because I truly do love writing more than anything. Other than that, my boyfriend knows, but he doesnāt care about it / ask questions and I donāt really like to tell him about it either. Iām not as embarrassed about RP as I used to be, but I still feel like itās just something for me that other people wouldnāt really understand the mechanics of. The only times my boyfriend and I do acknowledge it is when I start talking about an RP friend he hasnāt heard about before like a real life friend, so heās like who dat and im like oh, new rp friend from > insert country
That being said, he actually did surprise me the other week and I have been holding onto it for fear life. We were complaining about a friend who literally just sleeps and watches Netflix all day when sheās not working, and heās likeĀ āI donāt get how you can do thatā and im likeĀ āWell I have friends online who claim to do that a lot. Me, personally, Iād get too bored.ā and hes likeĀ āI just donāt get how people can do nothing all the time? Like at least with you and your online stuff, thatās still doing something. I just feel like thatās actually a hobby.ā and I kind of didnāt hear whatever else it is he said because he actually ??? referred to my RP addiction as something valid and worthy??? and all this time iāve assumed he didnāt get it and thought it was dumb??? IDK, it made me feel good.
āæ Ā Have you considered writing professionally or do you have plans to?
Always. But I never will, I donāt think.
āæ Ā How do you handle the toxicity sometimes found in the roleplaying community, particularly in fandoms?How has roleplaying, specifically, impacted your life?
I use tumblr savior to blacklist a lot, because it really gets too much for me to be exposed to it a lot, and it makes me feel shitty and not want to rp with certain people because of how they behave, or makes me feel guilty for how I behaveā¦ I usually drift away from things that give me major negative vibes, otherwise I become in great, exponential danger of saying something iāll regret. Iāve hated Tumblr RP a lot in this last year. Itās nowhere near as relaxed as it used to be, and I know thereās a lot of political debate on the topic of equality but I am not comfortable in a space where I have to edit everything I do and say or just not do or say it at all. When it gets like that level, a good dose of the unfollow button and keeping my mouth shut is what I find the most helpful.
āæ Ā How has writing improved your life and do you see yourself sticking with it?
When I graduated high school, I went to college for art and animation, and it basically ruined my creative life. Before RP, I used to be an avid drawer, I sketched every day, I improved my skills and motivation so much, everyone knew me as the girl who drew in class instead of did her work, the girl who was going to grow up and be a famous artist, and when I went to college, it killed that for me. My ego took a big blow because the tech side of the course absolutely annihilated me, i couldnāt do it. so after that (and that was 2 years ago now) i havenāt really drawn since. but the silver lining was that I took on RP more dedicatedly after that, and found that I truly adored writing. Try as I might, Iāve never really comitted to a personal writing project, and itās only in the recent times that Iāve taken the pressure off for me to do it, but. RP makes me happy, it makes me feel like Iām doing something good when I reply to people or make new friendships, it makes me feel like Iām wanted and needed, that my characters and plots are valid and that other people would care if Iām here or not. It was a big boost for my self confidence, and itās also made me so much more privy to the creative world, which i needed after that. so yeah, i see myself sticking with writing.
āæ Ā Is there a quote from a piece of literature that holds great value to you? What is it and why is it important to you?
She stood in front of her closet mirror in her T-shirt and twisted this way and that. Whatās wrong with me? She wondered. There was nothing the matter that she could see. She was tall and leggy, like her mother, with full breasts, small waist, and slim hips that curved enough to show she was female. Her skin was gently golden; it was always golden, sun or not, and her tawny hair was thick and long and wild. So why was it that groups of girls stopped talking when she approached them at school and answered her openings with tense words that killed the conversations she tried to start? Was she too good-looking? Was that possible? Was that the threat they saw?Ā
Legitimately, this was the first and pretty much only female protagonist I had ever read about who fully and whole-heartedly loved herself where it mattered. Sure, she still had her shortcomings and moments of weakness, but god damn, Vivian was so proud of herself and what she stood for, and that was so refreshing to see during that period of young adult fiction. Itās why she became my first favourite character from a book. And has pretty much inspired me to write feirce, aggressive, self-assured female characters ever since. I was just so inspired by her way of thinking as a young girl, it appealed to me so much and so that moment in the book plus a whole lot of others, really stuck with me.
āæ Ā What do you typically look for in a roleplay partner?
Cliche, but chemistry. And not always in the writing kind but a lot in the OOC kind. I like people who I can talk to super easily, who write in the same tumblr language I do, who reference memes and are not afraid to hit me up with IMs and head canons, etc. I just love it because it makes me feel comfortable with a person, and like Iām not being a bother. The better I get to know a player, the better I get to know their character away from IC interactions. Likewise, I adore it when players get to know me so well that they read the patterns in my characters easily, and I donāt feel like I have to explain them all the time? Itās like they just know, and they know what path I want to put them on. I also look for honesty, people who are down to tell me what theyāre feeling about a situation or whether something bothers them, or is able to voice if Iām doing something wrong. Most importantly though, I look for decisive people. Not overly decisive but itās just so important for me to have someone who is likeĀ āyes that sounds good, i can start a thing for you if you wantā orĀ āi dont think that really fits, how about this plot idea instead?ā I really cannot stand sending IMs to people about plots and characters and them just agreeing off the bat the whole time, but never really deciding on anything either, and so it makes me feel like iām just paddling in a circle until i make all the decisions for us. To me, thatās not what RP is about. It involves teamwork, and effort, and to me, thatās not putting in effort. It gets me really frustrated.
āæ Ā What made you want to join the roleplaying community?
I kept seeing bios in celebrity tags, and so when i sussed out what group rp was on tumblr, i was like holy shit there is a name for the thing i have been doing with friends over email for so many years???? and you can use PICTURES? i gotta get on this.
so somehow, i found a group rp that allowed mythical creatures, i wanted to be a peter pan mermaid, and the rest is history~~
āæ Ā What one piece of literature has been most inspirational/life changing for you? Why?
(( Blood & Chocolate, by Anette Curtis Klause ā because of the main character, as per mentioned. Sheās inspired me to write full-on, aggressive, assertive, donāt-tell-me-what-i-can-and-cant-do female characters without apology. ))
The Truth About Forever Ā by Sarah Dessen ā itās hard to explain exactly why, and it doesnt even just involve ONE of her books either, but theyāve kind of shaped my whole general character story directions?? her books always follow a pattern and i really admire that pattern, even if it is repetitive, and i am secretly a hopeless romantic so i really like how her love stories evolve. itās always slow burning, the boy is usually a direct surprising love interest, and the girl always gains new friends and family out of it, and the stories always involve a nice little reoccurring theme. In the Truth About Forever, itās a game that she and a boy plays throughout the entire book, which eventually leads to a shift from friendship to something more. THAT PLOT HAS APPEALED TO ME EVERY SINCE. the example of a teeny, tiny, otherwise-completely-average moment greatly impacting the rest of a characters life with someone elseā¦ i am weAK for this concept ok. her females are always usally feircely independent too and that gets me ā„
āæ Ā Who are your top three favorite fictional characters and why?
Vivian Gandillon (Blood & Chocolate) ā i swear i could go on repeat forever haha, but iāve basically already mentioned why.
Jace Herondale (Shadowhunter Series) ā back when the first like, two books had only been published, i super fell hard for this series and it was straight up because of the commentary done by Jace and his ability to senselessly bicker with everybody in his path. his comments to me, were always absolutely hysterical. i was so in love with his wry and witty comments, especially the way he kept at ease and casual through super distressing situations, and i really wish id kept reading the rest of the series as it was published, but i seriously fell behind. then the movie came out. then the netflix series. now iāve grown too far out of it and having to see the cast on my dash every second of every day makes me want to burn the books.
Shane Collins (Morganville Vampire Series) ā this is an oooold old series that i used to read religiously, and it was more in the style of anita blake and buffy vampires~ rather than twilight and true blood -esque content. it got really weird and complicated though so i gave up on it, but for a time, i adored it. and i loved shane because he was hilariously human, he hated everybody except his housemates (though sometimes that could be questioned) and nobody held a grudge better than him. he had a knack for getting in trouble, usually on his own accord, was feircely protective and spent most of his time just being a genuine nuisance and temper tantrum thrower. i saw a lot of me in him, and idk. i just like people with tempers, i think it makes them super fun to read.Ā
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