#I know that objectively my life is overall good and I'm very lucky in some aspects

[pikagirl541]

I am legit about to cry over how fucking hard this fangame is. I've been enjoying Pokémon Pathways and it's been overall good for my mental health. But it has level caps and I need to beat 5 really fucking hard trainers 7 in game days in a row. I'm on the last in game day of this rage inducing bullshit and after 4 tries I finally beat the first of the last five trainers, but I forgot to save afterwards and then lost to the second trainer of the day. I seriously had to hold back tears when I saw I have to battle the first trainer again.

I've lost 5 more times now and I hate myself. I just want my fucking level cap raised from 85. I don't even like these meant for competitive players challenges because I'm not a competitive player. I actually suck at battling without access to my bag. I need my fucking max revives. I worked so hard on this team and now I'm practically soft locked, unable to progress until I beat a practically unbeatable opponent. The one time I managed to win was literally pure luck. And I do mean literally; it came down to how often my opponent missed. My team doesn't have any accuracy modifiers.

I'm screwed. If I let myself lose I'll have to start over again, battling 30 increasingly frustrating trainers all over again. I'd rather abandon the game, learn how to code, and hack the fucking game than start this bullshit over. Why aren't there fan games for casual players who simply want all the Pokémon in one game? Why are they all for competitive players? Why don't they have an option to be slightly easier. Just let me access my bag damn it!

[231025]

Why V and his fs will decide too marry each other???

disclaimer: taehyung was quite picky with this one, i tried my best to use the right words to explain his reasons but he wants you guys to know that it's only 70%ish meeting his expectations ... "he could do it better" well, he has to live with this version now, i'm not gonna change it any further :'')

his reasons: (1) the good communication between them - it's mentally stimulating for him, it makes him all passionate and giddy, gives him new perspectives on things and ideas for the future etc. his fs is intellectually interesting to him. he likes that he can talk with her about anything in a very "objective", non-judgmental, detached way but at the same time she also gives him new perspectives as she is good at perceiving all the different (realistic, objective, cultural, emotional [...]) side of things and she seems to be able to discuss these things individually without being prejudiced or "judgy" if someone has other opinions or when someone asked "stupid questions" - she seems to be always willing to teach or further explain things in a very kind open-minded way. she is someone that is good at giving advice and making plans with. (2) also, another reason seems to be that he'll realize that they won't progress in the relationship (specifically in the emotional intimacy field) any further if he doesn't offer a serious commitment (for the future) at that time. he'll feel like it's the necessary next step to progress if he wants more from her (trust, openness, intimacy, support...). (3) additionally, he thinks she'd overall make a strong companion for life. + he really appreciates her always being so supportive and caring towards him. she is honest, fair and compassionate and those are all traits he adores - she connects with him on an emotional level and he doesn't experience this often. and i think she is not as emotionally dependent on him as his past partners as this always ended being a great burden on him. she cares about being emotionally fulfilled herself before filling other people's cups which leads to a very healthy dynamic and inspires him to put himself first too instead giving too much of himself away. (4) last but not least, she brings balance, harmony and peace into his life - as they balance each other's flaws out and she always kindly lets him know how to improve things as well as giving him space and time to make his own decisions and form his own opinions, never rushing him. ... and so on... there is probably more but i'm gonna stop here now lol

her reasons: (1) her love life may experience a slowdown (before meeting taehyung) which will lead to a period of (self)reflection. the newfound perspectives might propel her to make changes or take action which she hasn't before. with taehyung she will feel like the "waiting time" is over, "he is the one, it's time for me to settle down now" - specifically the dating phase will at some point feel like "this is not working for me anymore, i need more" - it seems like in past relationships the other party always longed for her to finally commit which ended up feeling like a burden to her - making her drift away even further. but with taehyung it will be the first time in her life that she desires that the other person wants her to commit. funnily enough, i think she already got marriage proposal(s) in the past which freaked her out because she wasn't ready to commit so seriously yet but with taehyung she'll feel like "damn, when will he finally propose to me" she will be quite impatient lol. (2) another reason is that taehyung helps her see things in different perspectives, broadening her mind (similar to taehyung's reason). (3) he helps her get rid of worries, gives her a joy of life, optimism and lust for life. he will be like the sun in her life. she'll feel comfortable, lucky and full of energy and confidence with him. in the past and even now, she might struggle with "her life feeling dull" which over the long period of time bothers her a lot + affecting her mental health - she might struggle with motivating herself and finding joy in life which might explain why taehyung feeling like a new found sun (that lights up her life) will feel so tremendously touching to her at that time. (4) being with taehyung will make her realize that the she needs to release past burdens to move forward - he will trigger an internal transformation - and this effect he he'll have on her will make her realize how important he is in her life and that she doesn't wanna experience a life without him ever again

[iamnotawomanimagod]

favourite things about your husband? (I'm corny)

This is a very sweet question, not corny at all! Sorry it took me a minute to answer it.

This could be a much longer list, but I'm gonna try to show some restraint, lol.

My husband is a college professor and teaches math. He's genuinely a very good teacher. He cares about his students and their success. He tries to be approachable and easy-going, understanding of their needs and limitations. He's specifically taking time out of his schedule this semester to attend a weekly equity seminar, to make sure he's up to date on sensitivity surrounding race, gender, sexual orientation, etc. He chose to do that on his own time. It's a cohort of about thirty teachers, and he's one of only three men in the entire group. That's a little depressing, but it also made me realize just how rare a man like my husband is.

I've seen him grow so, so much when it comes to social issues and cultural equity. He was kind of your average shitty white-passing teenage boy/young adult, but he recognized that and changed it. He's put in the work, because he has a huge heart. He wants to help people and leave a good impression on his colleagues and his students. He's one of the few men I've ever met who calls his friends out on their shitty jokes, and he eventually stopped hanging out with the ones who wouldn't cut that shit out. He has really solid morals and he lives by them.

He's had a lot of challenges as someone with ADHD, who is also on the autism spectrum. He had a very atypical path to becoming a college professor, and worked really hard to overcome the obstacles he's faced. He has something that I often lack, which is the drive to get up and keep going, even when something is really difficult and seems impossible. He got through grad school in his late 20s, and now he gets to be an example to his students that you don't have to stay perfectly on track to achieve your goals.

But at home, he's goofy as hell. I'm pretty much the only person in the world who will ever know what a total weirdo he is. We've been together for 11 years now, and nobody but my best friend makes me laugh as hard or as often as he does. We're one of those obnoxious couples who speak almost exclusively in references and inside jokes. I think part of why we work so well is because we really enjoy seeing each other laugh and we want to make a happy, carefree space for each other at home. We're a good team, and our main objective in life is just to have fun together. For us, that means a lot of comedy shows on the couch with some takeout. I had a pretty unstable childhood, so I really value the peace and easy contentment we have together.

And a handful of little things: he's great at cuddling and giving hugs; when he comes home from a night out he'll often bring me back a drink or snack that I like without being asked; he's always been willing to take care of me through a lot of very difficult mental health peaks and valleys; he's empathetic, supportive, and my absolute rock.

This isn't to say that our relationship is perfect, of course. We've had lots of ups and downs, we argue like every couple does, and there are definitely things about him that frustrate me (and vice versa.) But I wouldn't trade him for anyone or anything. He's my panda.

Overall, I think I really hit the jackpot. I'm very lucky. Thanks for giving me a chance to reflect on that, anon. <3

[animezinglife]

Not every therapist is a good match for every client. I’ve had some who were good matches, and some who were not even though I’ve loved them overall. I can see why this could be a problem for your own well-being if it’s to the point that you can’t even hear the word or someone else talking about it without it negatively impacting the way your process and function (and you don’t want to bully/be judgmental towards people for whom that very much is natural either), but if you’re just talking about it in terms of your own life, relationships, and decisions, then the therapist’s may not be the best approach.

All therapists are going to tell you something you don’t want to hear at some point, and that can be a good and healthy aspect of therapy to help you revisualize and re-process things.

If you’re feeling like there’s no neutrality or objectivity--and that your therapist isn’t listening--then that’s a different story and it may be worthwhile to switch. You’re not obligated to stick with one therapist just because you started with that person.

You could always be honest with your therapist and tell that person that’s how the approach is being received. It’s also possible there’s some genuine miscommunication on both sides as I imagine that is a sensitive topic. I would try that first before immediately jumping to a new therapist.

Though I will gently add there’s nothing inherently dehumanizing in the “human nature” statement. Norms don’t by nature dehumanize people who fall outside of them. However, I can absolutely understand why that would be painful--I know that when I try to talk with people about wanting a relationship, them telling me I don't need one or that I'm "lucky to be single" is like pouring salt in a gaping wound. It's like a billionaire telling someone who can't pay bills for basic needs that money doesn't buy happiness. The problem is not that I don't recognize that it's not technically a necessity (and objectively isn't), but that I'm not being heard and that my own wants and desires are outright being rejected despite it being my life.

It makes a difference when you put in the work to find people who will hear you. They don't have to agree, but especially if someone's being paid to hear you, they need to be trying to see it from your perspective.

My therapist treats my extreme sex-repulsion as a fault that needs to be fixed, because I'm disgusted by sex to the point I can feel uncomfortable with my allo friends just by realising they do that, I can agree that to some extent it is an issue and I wish it didn't bother me so much, but the thing is that my therapist's way of dealing with it is to say things like "It's human nature". Can't there be any way to help me become more neutral on the topic that isn't just dehumanising ace people?

Submitted May 5, 2023

[furshrimps]

I'm actually thinking often about where the point would be when I should seriously think about rehoming my dogs. Currently I can still mostly care for them, albeit going for regular walks isn't quite possible. I'm still hoping my condition will get better again so I'll be able to do that again. So far we either have to make use of the property or my sister will help with that, since walks with me have to be few and far between and pretty short. Sister also helps with enrichment. That situation isn't ideal, though, all in all they get much less time outside the property than before, and I do feel bad about that. I also spend less overall time with grooming, but so far I can do at least the minimum amount of grooming.

I think it's a balance, especially considering the history of both of them, as well as their age (10 and 12 now). They've both went through things that left them with serious trauma of humans, and both have done a lot of recovering since they've came to me. I know it probably sounds like I'm trying to turn a blind eye on the situation, but I don't think I can be replaced for them that easily. It probably would be a tad bit easier for Sammy, despite him being older and despite him having had the "worse" objective history. But overall I think he's more stable and adaptable. I'm not sure how Bats would be able to cope, though. Finding good homes for them would be a nightmare, though. Even just finding someone to help with walks feels like a too-big task, at least I still can't think of a good way to find someone who is trustworthy and knowledgeable enough. I do admit I'm probably way too overprotective about the dogs and way too distrustful of human beings in general here, but there are so many idiots out there who intentionally or unintentionally could cause so much serious harm especially to such small dogs that I don't know how to even start on that. And thinking how Bats practically has to be forced to leave the apartment without me even just to go with my sister, whom he knows very well... idk. Sammy is kind of hesitant, too, but not quite to that extent. Once outside they do enjoy their walks just fine from what sis tells me. But with a complete stranger? Idk.

Currently, I think the point to think about rehoming for me would be when I either can't even take care of the rest of the basic day-to-day care anymore, or when they'd start getting unhappy. So far neither of these things seem to happen, at least Sammy seems to be just fine with whatever as long as he gets some play, some running around, food, affection and a generally safe place. Bats is more easily bored, because he needs a lot of encouragement for things outside of activities that don't include treats, and he rarely offers social play on his own. And because he'll just wait it out until someone notices it's easier to dismiss or not notice. But just asking him to do a few tricks here and there so he can earn some treats, and likewise a quiet/ safe/ harmonious environment with lots of affection seems to be enough for him overall. I have a feeling all that could be very different if they had been raised and lived their life in a "good" environment all of the time. With a dog without all the traumas I probably would already be thinking about rehoming, or starting to think about it soon. I mean, I AM considering and weighing it constantly just the same, but so far it appears to be not the right thing to do, despite the downsides for them. But from what they show the upsides seem to outweigh the downsides still. I do try very hard to keep my assessment objective, even though I can barely think about that without breaking my heart. But ultimately, I knew I would and could make the decision in their favor. I'm just lucky they appear to be fine with it so far, and I can't begin to describe how thankful I am for that.

Maybe other people have a different view on all that, and maybe I'm wrong. But I honestly do try my best to do the right thing, and to do right by them. And I also try to do what I can to get better, because I'm sure that is what we all want the most in the first place.

[wornoutmouse]

@midoriyaprofessionalslut

I can't even begin to describe the ask I received so I'm just going to leave screenshots😅😅

Also in the new mha season, I thought Tsu was being petty when she called Mineta Grape-Juice and Shoji Tentacle. But nope, those are their hero names.

Side note: I feel like when Mineta gets old and knows how to work his quirk better, he'll be able to control if they stick or not.

Slight racism, usual smut.

NOT PROOF READ SO LET ME KNOW IF U SEE SOMETHING

 If you imagine Mineta as in the picture above and with a mature voice, this is more enjoyable. Or you can imagine someone else entirely.. Cause even as someone who's tolerant to Mineta I can't imagine him getting any hoes much less smashing (at least not on top). It would be like watching a chiwawa top a mastiff. 

"This is some bullshit." You shuffle through various papers on your desk, each containing the receipts of Pro-Hero Grapejuice's celebratory purchases. Most of it was random appliances that could in no way be used on a day-to-day basis, but there were others….a shiver goes down your spine, there were others that were just downright perverted. "What even is a nub tickler?" 

Being an accountant was something you were good at, the numbers came easy and it was interesting to see the income and ways of business that different people in power displayed. Planning meetings and getting the occasional phone call made everything a breeze, but it wasn't what you wanted to do. Or in better words, this was not whom you wanted to work for. Even being number 6 causes the workload to be higher than should be physically possible in the hero world. That's one of the reasons you never gave praise to the rankings because no matter how low in the chain, a hero’s work is always taxing. 

Shifting in your seat you look at the analog clock on your desk. 3:45, you were supposed to come to work at 5:30 which means you once again have no time to sleep. Having these late nights had increased 10 fold whenever Mineta went up in rank even by a little. His way of celebrating was spending his money carelessly and leaving you to fix the balance. Though you supposed it may be your fault for never objecting when he barged in your office showing his trinkets as well as leaving his credit card.

"Yeah, it's time to go." You muttered as you read the words, "Dwarf Cow in the left lot of Wisconsin."

 The next hour, you take a detour from your office for the first time in months. Heading down the hall you watch the walls go from the pale greys to deep purple and violet splotches splattered along the wall before it inevitably melds into solid purple walls as you get closer to the front door of his office.

Hesitantly you knock on the door and wait until a muffled "Come in." Rings through the thick wood. The room itself was just as flamboyant as the walls leading to it. A beautiful fuchsia carpet on the floor made you realize that calling in your two weeks would have been better than walking into the Willy-Wonka factory that was this office. Various spherical decorations hung from the chandelier, and even something as simple as the legs of his desk was made up of crystal spheres.

The man himself sat perfectly balanced on a large purple ball most likely of his own creation, meanwhile, various children sat around him slipping and sliding on smaller balls in an attempt to copy him. "Ah, here is my beautiful assistant!" The compliment made you cringe as you fiddled with the end of the sleep-wrinkled white blouse you had worn for 2 days straight. "Can we talk sir? It is important." Mineta raised an eyebrow at your formal speech before shrugging. 

In an extravagant display of balance, Mineta does a handstand on the ball with one hand before flipping to the other side. "Well kids it's time for me to get done as a hero’s job is never over and blah blah blah the gift shop is giving out free plushies and you can keep your ball." The teacher does her best to usher out her students and the sound of childish screams resound down the hallway even though the door was shut. "How can I help you Y/n?" Mineta offers you his ball to sit on and you reluctantly take the offer as you grate in multiple directions in order to stay afloat. 

Mineta watches you with hidden interest as he interlocks his hands underneath his chin. "I didn't know you even knew my name?" Mineta Laughs exposing his annoyingly perfect teeth. It was hard to associate this face to the pictures you see when you search for his early years. "Of course I know your name, I stole your nameplate off your desk 2 months ago." Ah, so that's where it went  "What was it you wanted to talk about?"

You sighed, "I would like to put in my two weeks." Mineta goes slack-jawed before composing himself "Why?" Mineta looked at you earnestly, completely confused on why you'd want to abandon your post as his secretary- I mean assistant. "Working for you has become a hassle with your lack of financial maturity." Mineta mock shivers, "Oo big words, me no likey." Mineta hops onto his desk as if he weighed nothing more than paper and squats in front of you, "How about this, you don't quit and instead help me learn how to...how did you say it? Be financially mature." You lean back in your chair unconvinced that he was taking this seriously.

With the final nail ready to be hit, Mineta adds, "How about I give you a raise of 10 percent and a promotion?" You stand up in your chair with an eager grin, "That sounds great!" Mineta smirks to himself but you did not pay any mind to it. "Great, how about we discuss this over food, dinner date?" Your internal celebration screeches to a halt, " Dinner Date-" Mineta looks at you shocked, "Dinner date? Great idea, why didn't I think of it myself!?" A firm hand slides you towards the door as Mineta starts a complimentary speech giving you no room to object, "This is why I need you, you're so smart, I wish I was like you, tomorrow at 11?" You sputter trying to slip past his arms, "11 but I-?!" Mineta loudly gasps again, "There you go doing it again I'm so lucky to have you, tomorrow at 11 my treat!"

The door is shut in your face and the sound of the lock clicking seals your fate. What did you get into?

Cut to 4 years later and you are still not sure of that answer. Simply being bis accountant you had a glimpse of his perverted tendencies, but as his girlfriend, it was further exposed to depths you never could have found yourself imagining. You shuffle papers in the printing room as you do your best to ignore the faint tingling sensation in between your legs. Yet another whim you found yourself following on Mineta’s behalf despite the ever-present fear of being caught. The vibrator comes to life before going back down as quickly as it came. You toss a middle finger to the camera in the top corner of the room knowing he was watching.

"Miss L/n, can I ask you something?" You slap your arm down to your side in embarrassment. I hope he didn't see that.  Your coworker walks up to you holding a small stack of papers. "Yes, how can I help you?" The man shows you various forms as he talks, for once you were thankful for Mineta not embarrassing you in front of others. "Oh I see where you went wrong, this right here would be a 20% increase, not 18%." The man applauded you and graciously wrote down your explanation. "Thank you so much, my name is Kaminari by the way." 

"Ah hello, Kaminari, and no worries I'm always glad to help!" You turn back as your papers finally scan through but can't help notice Kaminari lingering. "Say Y/n?" You open your mouth to respond only to close it again as the vibratory comes back to life strongly. "Hmmm?!" Kaminari peers at you, your reaction was strange but he couldn't figure out why. "Um, never mind, have a nice day Miss. Y/n, maybe we can get together over coffee or something?” You shrug turning away from Kaminari in fear of your eyes rolling up. The man sways from foot to foot awkwardly before leaving the printing room. 

Snapping out of your personal flashback, you look over at your fiance signing autographs for his adoring and objectively feminine fan base. While it was extremely unnerving how unknowingly close they were to your home, you weren't resentful of their gushing.

Your engagement and your overall relationship had not been made public in fear of your personal life being exploited by paparazzi. That doesn't mean, however, the next thing you witness doesn't get your blood boiling.

A girl, no older than maybe 22 waltzes up to Mineta with the confidence of Muhammad Ali in a ring match. Her raven black hair fell flawlessly down her back with not a single split end. Almond eyes decorated with precise coal blink rapidly to draw attention to her seemingly natural eyelashes. With 4 inch wedges. a black halter top, and cuffed jean shorts, it was clear she was someone on a mission. She effortlessly pushes past the nearby fans as they stop to quack at her rivaling beauty. A smirk draws itself with her soft pink lips as she hears people muttering around and about her.

"Wow she's so pretty"

"They would look good together just look at them."

"Ugh, such an attention whore, not giving the rest of us a chance!"

"I bet a 20 she's his type."

"Is she famous?"

The chatter comes to a close as the girl hands Mineta a notebook, "Can you sign right here?" Mineta flips open the book and his eyes widen a fraction before he puts on his heroic voice, "Wow it looks like you got all of Japan's heroes in this book!" The girl smiles as she watches Mineta scratch his signature, "Don't be afraid to leave your number in there too Mr. Minoru." Mineta pauses at the statement for continuing his elaborate handwriting, "I don't think that would be very plus ultra of me so I'm gonna have to pass." Smug pride fills your chest as you watch the annoyance cross the girl's face.

Mineta finishes signing and hands her back her book, she, in turn, forces a small piece of paper in his hand before holding his chin and kissing him. At that moment nothing else mattered but beating that bitches ass as you yanked her black hair and dragged her to the ground. "This ain’t Wattpad bitch get your hands off of him!!" You turn to Mineta making him flinch with a sharp glare as you yank her hair again, hopefully pulling a few strands out. "You just gonna let her kiss you and not do anything!?" Mineta stretched his hands towards you cautiously, "Y/n calm down, if you would have given me a chance I would have settled it-" "No, settle it now!"

Your rage is diminished by the judgmental looks coming from the fans and you realize your brazen display was out of order.

"Who is she"

"I think she's the secretary l, so why is she so mad"

"Delusional just cause you're with him all the time doesn't mean you're together"

"I hope he fires her."

"This is why we shouldn't let them in Japan"

The girl whose hair you have in a chokehold stands up unbalanced before pushing your hands from her hair. Satisfied at the disheveled look of her previously perfect strands, you turn to walk back to Mineta, your anger having been sated, "Black Bitch." You turn around and go charging towards the girl again grinning when she flinches. Your rampage is stopped as Mineta wraps his arms around your waist and picks you up, "Sorry for the disturbance, we deeply apologize!"

It's almost comical how your mouth spews vulgarity that would make a sailor blush as Mineta drags you behind your apartment building. He ushers you through the back door leading to the washroom, "I can't believe she'd do that in front of me, and you let her!" Mineta shuts the door quietly, leaning his ear against it to listen out for any lingering fans. You sit on top of a washer still ranting as your blood cools down. "The nerve of some of these people is outrageous, even if she doesn't know about us that is still sexual harassment!"

Mineta doesn't look at you and instead peeks through the blinds lining the washroom windows. "I think they are gone, come on." The two of you sneak out the door and walk at a moderate speed all the way back to your front door. In hindsight, you knew that causing a scene like that was a bold move on your part. If anyone was recording the whole ordeal you knew Mineta’s name and possibly yours would be in the headlines by later this evening. 

As the last one entering, you lock the door behind you, forehead scrunched together with apprehension. "Mineta I'm sorry, I don't know what got into me. I just saw her touching you and saw red." You face away from the door with an earnest look on your face. Mineta has a cheeky look on his face that can only mean trouble. Despite your similar slim build and height, Mineta easily corners you against the door. "I know exactly what got into you." Mineta’s pointer finger taps your nose. "Jealousy."

You sighed, putting your head down nodding, "Yeah, it's not that I don't trust you, it's just-" "shhh." Mineta lips your head back up with a hand under your chin. "It's fine Y/n. It's not like I expected a perfect little cocksleeve like you to be okay with sharing." You stare blinkingly at Mineta. 'Oh, he's in one of those moods huh?' As expected from such a fiend like Mineta, he was quite possibly hard the whole time he was watching you beat that girl's ass, and for some reason that irked you even more. “Mineta I’m being serious.” The words leaving your mouth did not phase Mineta, he holds your hips and pulls you close to him in order for you to feel his bulge. 

“Oh come on, after seeing you be so possessive for me, how can you not expect me to be a lil turned on?” Mineta’s hands circle your ass before slapping it, “Made me feel special.” Rolling your eyes you lean into the lingering kisses he begins to leave on your shoulder. His grip tightens as he shuffles you to the nearest surface. “Makes me feel all giddy inside to know that you do this only for me and no one else.” Minoru unbuttons your dress pants and removes your belt, “But doing that in front of all those people was stupid.” A shiver travels up your arms from the feeling of lips caressing your ear. Mineta dips his hand into your cotton panties and immediately draws attention to your clit.

“Look at me, Mineta Minoru with a girl like you that would fight for me. Who would have thought?” You ball your fists on the table, hanging your head low. “You’re not going to make this easy for me are you?” Mineta slips his other hand beneath your blouse to cup your breasts. Short l  rub down your slit collecting your slick. The feeling was warm and buzzing just underneath your skin, the bastard was well trained on how to slowly but surely bring your pleasure to its peak and hold you there. Your muscles begin to feel more and more like jelly, you sigh “Oh God..” Mineta pushed his body further on yours, rutting against your body. Up until now, his other hand was simply resting on your skin but once impatience overcame him, he used it to pull down your pants. 

“You know this will be in articles tomorrow right?” Two fingers curl inside of you making you squeal, “Y-Yes!” Something hard and slick smacks against your bare ass as Mineta removes the bottom half of his hero costume. “So how are you going to compensate me for what I’ll have to deal with tomorrow?” You turn your head to the back with a small pout on your face, “She shouldn’t have touched you.” Mineta coyly smiles before pressing your head down against the table. “You should have let me handle it.” 

Mineta was an average of 5 inches in length with conservative girth. But so far he’s been the only man that really added proof that size doesn’t matter. Mineta pulls away from you and leans down to riffle through his pants. You hear a crisp pop of a cap being opened and a slick splatter is heard afterward. A shaky breath leaves Mineta’s lips as he lubes his cock up. Penetrating is a struggle at first, the longer it takes for him to push it in the more both of you become frustrated until he finally pulls your waist back against himself. “S-So good!” The pleasure causes his childhood lisp to slip through as he waits for you to acclimate to the stretch. 

You shift your feet when Mineta refrains from moving. "Tsk, you really don't understand the meaning of patience do you?" Your hands suddenly become cool to the touch as Mineta covers them with medium sized spheres temporarily gluing you to the table. "Mineta this isn't fair! Please just a little bit to the left!" Now having you helpless Mineta puts one hand on your back while stroking the base of his cock. "It's not about being fair, it is about teaching a sneaky brat like you to know their place." Mineta begins to move but it's not right, he needs to go more to the left, "Mineta what are you even talking about!?!" 

A sigh leaves Mineta's lips, "Don't think I forgot about that slick shit you tried to pull with Kaminari." Mineta watches your ad shake and bounce everytime your hips meet. Your arms twitch and pull at themselves wanting to find purchase on the flat surface. Groans leave your lips as Mineta comes closer to hitting your spot,  "Slick shit?! Y-You're the one that wanted to do that stupid little piano in the first place!" You couldn't see it but Mineta had a deep seated glare on his face. He loops his fingers underneath his yellow scarf and rolls it around long ways. 

"I'm really tierd of your mouth. What you think because I let you beat that girl out their I'll let you beat me?" The middle of the scarf is put in your mouth and your head is pulled back by it. Mineta holds both ends of the scarf to slam into your cunt. "Just a greedy little bitch aren't you?" You scream into the cloth as Minetas cock finally hits your spot just right. The constant pulling on the corner of your mouth burned everytime the fabric rubbed against the sensitive flesh. Your feet rise to your toes in a fruitless attempt at getting a break from the pleasure. Mineta holds his scarf in one hand and pushes down your waist. "Didnt you want this? Don't run from it now."

Your pussy squelched around his cock the faster he went making you go cross eyed. "Fuck you feel so damn good.  The table rattled and scraped across the floor with every thrust. "oh fuck, I'm gonna cum!" Your nails scraped the table as you closed your fist, had you had claws it would have been a whole different story. You beared down on his cock, trying, begging to feel more inside of your walls as he moved faster. Suddenly your argument fel worth it.

Mineta knew many things about himself. He knew his birthday, he knew where he was in life, and he knew he had come 6 minutes ago and was bordering hysteria as he pumped his overestimated cock into your wet heat. Each drag made years collect in his eyes.  Tiny whimpers left his lips and his hands squeezed your sides harder and hard.  "So fucking warm. Squeezing down on my dick like that." 

He bowed his head and rested on your back,  kissing the sweaty skin as he pushed through the painful pleasure.  "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" Mineta slaps your ass  before pulling out and shoving his fingers inside your pussy. "Cum for me, Y/n. That's it cum on my hands." Mineta's fingers were the only thing that never really grew on him. They were relatively short but thick so even three of them were able to stretch your hole the way you needed. 

"Y-Yes, right there shit!" Your cum drips down his arm soiling the fabric there as you squint around him, "That's it give it to me." Mineta buried his face in your pussy licking you clean like a man starved. It wasn't until you whined did he stop and pull his fingers out. 

Luckily for you, his spheres were just about coming close to their time constraint. You stand up rubbing your wrists and drinking some water Mineta brings you. A snort captures your attention and Mineta holds up his phone, "Not even an hour." Writing in thick bold words read. 

"Obsessive Secretary Snaps on Camera!"

You snort, "I'm the obsessive one huh?" It was going to be a long day tomorrow 

[aenngelic]

I will protect her at all costs (chapter 2)

Disclaimer: please don’t hate me for it, if you don’t ship them please just don’t read it ok 🥲

contains: slow burn, Sniper falling in love with Kuon, Snipers view/thoughts, sexual fantasies, nudity, lemon stuff overall

It is a very long chapter I’m sorry

Note: please feel free to message me if you have certain romantic moments to include in the story! (Already running out of ideas oops)

It did not take long for us to find a bag of supplies. It was on a coffee table in some sort of lobby area. It seemed as if this building probably was meant to represent some kind of hotel, which I thought was a good thing, because that meant that there would be beds and showers to be found here as well. To our surprise, the bag contained mostly candy, which I wouldn't interpret as a balanced meal. However, the girl seemed to like this finding. It was only a matter of minutes before the chocolate residue stained the corners of my companion's mouth in a brown color. However, I preferred to smoke a cigarette at first and watch the girl devour her own body weight in the form of chocolate.

" This is fantastic! It feels like forever since I last ate chocolate! I faintly remember dieting before I entered this world too, so this must have been probably weeks since I held chocolate in my hand." Kuon said with delight. It was amusing to watch her enjoy sweets. Kuon's carelessness may be a burden at times, but her innocent character makes up for it.

" you partly remember your life prior to this, don't you?"

" Yes, not much to be honest. I'm sorry you can't," Kuon replied in a concerned voice.

"Tell me about it."

She gave me a visibly puzzled look before straightening her back so that she was sitting as straight as a candle on the sofa across from me, staring at her hands somewhat lost in thought. She seemed uncomfortable that I had now brought up this topic. Unfortunately, I could not take back my question. "Well," she began, "to be honest,the life I remember has not been the greatest, I guess." Kuon abruptly shook her head. " That's not true either. I was born into a rich family and had many privileges. My father owned a large company and had very high expectations of me from the very beginning. One day I was supposed to take it over. I was probably pretty lucky compared to other people. I was probably a big disappointment for him. My character was just not strong enough in his eyes. I also remember not really having any friends either, because I was privately educated. And anyway..." I could literally hear the lump in Kuon's throat as a tear began to stream down the girl's cheek.

" i'm sorry. You know, I didn't really mean to end up crying."

I felt my heart break once again, watching the girl grieve. I was surprised now, though, to find out that this yet seemingly uncomplicated high school student was actually carrying a lot of emotional baggage. I did not hesitate as I jumped up from my seat to calm the blue-haired girl. I really hated it like the plague when she cried. Trying to preserve my Coolness, however, I grumbled, "oh girl. What's wrong?"

I placed myself to her left, and pressed her against my shoulder while running my hand over her hair a few times. There was no way I could bring myself to face her, though. It would be too embarrassing and, after all, I was far from being the Prince Charming who would dry her tears with a silken tissue. Besides, I could not withstand the sight of her teary eyes. So there I sat, a weeping teenage girl wetting my blazer with salty drops of grief on my right, awkwardly staring off into the distance.

"It's, it's..." she stammered, not being able to form a word. "You're the first person I've been able to trust, and because of that, I'm kind of..."

She took a deep breath, "It makes me so unbelievably happy."

Almost for the second time that day, a cigarette nearly got stuck in my throat, but this time I was able to suppress my urge to cough. The girl seemed to really like me. But did I like her too? I would be lying if I said I did not care about her. And if she got killed, I could never forgive myself. It was astonishing how one could form such a strong bond with another person in such a short period of time. However, pouring out my entire feelings in front of her would not come close to the cool lifestyle I was pursuing.

" i'm also happy to have met you, Kuon.", i finally decided to answer after a moment of figuring out how to respond.

Kuon's face, which was still streaked with tears, started to smile again, which made me feel much relieved. However, it took her a while to completely stop her wailing . We remained in this position for a while, until at some point I realized that the girl had fallen asleep. Her head had lowered in the meantime even further toward the ground, so that after some time she was no longer leaning against my shoulder but much rather against my belly. When I noticed this after some time and looked down to the girl, a cute sight presented itself to me. Admittedly, on the one hand it felt nice to act as this girl's pillow. On the other hand, it triggered an immeasurable amount of embarrassment in me. But cool guys do like to take care of girls' comfort, don't they?

Therefore, I decided I'd rather not wake her up and hardly moved at all. I looked out the window to my right, watching the sunset and reflected on certain issues. I was thinking about Rika as well as the two girls we were trying to find and, of course, about Kuon and so many other things until my eyes started to close.

When I regained consciousness, the night must have settled in. Before I could even perceive my surroundings properly, I swiveled my head once to the left and once to the right and let my gaze wander through the room. Because the moon was particularly bright this night, everything around me had taken on a deep blue tone. It was so quiet around me that I could have heard a pin drop. In the next second I realized that I should not have fallen asleep in the first place. Somebody would have had to keep watch, after all! Crap! If an enemy would have come along the way, it certainly would not have been good for me and Kuon. I looked down to my thigh where the blue-haired girl was supposed to lie. I felt her place her head on my thigh at some point during the night, but when I looked down at my thigh, I could not find any girl. Where the hell was Kuon? A rational thinking person, as I was one, could of course assume that my companion did not necessarily have to be in danger, but could also have simply visited the toilet, for example. Nonetheless, my alarm bells started ringing immediately. Kuon was, after all, a young girl who, apart from the "rail gun", did not posses many possibilities for self-defense. So of course I was worried.

Without thinking much, I hopped up from the sofa, on which I had been napping a few moments before. In quick stride I wandered through the poorly lit hallway without really having a clue where I was heading. My head was foggy from the idea that the girl might be in serious danger. A few days ago, I probably would have accepted the fact that she was suddenly nowhere to be found and continued my journey. And now my stomach was already twisting at the thought of her getting in trouble.

Nevertheless, a short moment later, my heart pounding madly from the ever-repeating scenario in my head, I heard a noise at the end of the corridor. A soft, high-pitched humming was heard, drowned out by the pattering of many drops. Light emerged from the crack of a door on the left. Was she taking a shower? The feeling of relief spread through my chest, followed by some degree of annoyance. Why did the girl not wake me up? I took a few steps towards the door, but before I was about to reach for the door handle, I remembered that I should not do so. A gentleman never violates a lady's privacy. So I decided to wait.

I leaned against the local wall, one leg bent. Then I let my thoughts wander, while the pattering of the raindrops in the bathroom right next to me showed no indication of stopping anytime soon. A lady of high society must spend quite a bit of her life showering, I thought to myself. And before I knew it, the image of Kuon suddenly popped up in my head. In my imagination I pictured her body, wondering what it looked like completely naked. A bar of soap running over her plump breasts, leaving traces of foam on her soft, wet skin. A body swinging under the hot rainfall like a leaf in the wind, presenting its vivid buttocks. I wonder if she was shaved? Hardly had I been able to finish this dirty thought of mine and get mad at my filthy thinking when my ears picked up the sound of footsteps in the distance. And they were coming ominously closer.

Damn, I thought to myself and was about to reach for my rifle, only to realize that I forgot it next to the sofa where I had been sleeping. I had been so upset about her disappearance that I could seriously forget the most crucial item for our survival.What was I going to do? For a brief moment I was at a loss. Escape proved almost impossible at this point, since I was at a dead end and I could not force the approaching enemy down with any surrounding objects. Besides, if I escaped, it would only be a matter of time before the enemy would track down my helpless companion. In the next moment, almost instinctively, I reached for the door handle that led to the bathroom that Kuon had still claimed. Perhaps there were objects in the room that were suitable for fighting, or perhaps we could be lucky and not be found, I speculated in the heat of the moment. So I tore open the door and rushed into the bathroom, greeted by a hot haze that took over the entire area.

"Kuon!" I called out in a hushed tone.

Without hesitation, I pushed my way through the door that separated the shower from the rest of the bathroom as if I was walking through nothing. Until that moment, I had hardly given a thought to the circumstances of this situation. But at the latest, when finally the naked body of a schoolgirl jumped into my field of vision, I quickly realized this again. I was just about to violate Kuon's privacy. An obviously shocked girl looked towards me, that from 1 second to the other tried to cover herself desperately.

"Mr.Ma-", she was about to say, but I interrupted her raised voice by pressing my hand to her lips as quickly as possible.

While I was still in the act of stepping into the shower, I flicked the light switch in the same movement so that no sign of our presence could escape from the room. Maybe they would not find us here, I hoped at this point.

"There's someone out there," I whispered to the naked girl in front of me.

" if we are quiet, maybe we won't be found. If we are, then..."

Kuon replied to me with an unintelligible "Mmm" , which resembled the sound of a frightened gasp. My body had pressed so close to hers by now that I could feel the wetness of her skin soaking through my shirt. I had directed my face facing away from her so that I could sharpen my hearing for the footsteps I could hear. Furthermore , I did not want to add unnecessary tension to the whole situation. It was uncool enough to interfere with a naked girl taking a shower even if it was an emergency. My hand was still resting on her lips and even though I was wearing gloves and looking away, I could clearly feel the warmth building up in Kuon's cheeks. She was obviously blushing in this moment. But having her pressed against the bathroom wall while forcing my hand tightly onto her lips and not even keeping a distance of not 2 inches, I could not blame her.

For quite a while, we did not move at all. We listened closely to the footsteps, which came a little closer and finally slowly moved away from us again. Temporarily it was even so quiet in this bathroom that we could hear each other breathing. Kuon's breathing was fast and almost verged on hyperventilation in this situation. Because there was hardly any distance between our bodies, I could literally feel her chest rising and falling in short intervals. With each rise, her breasts brushed my upper body a slight bit. I tried, as always, to keep my composure and block out the fact that Kuon was completely naked. Only when several minutes had passed did my posture loosen and I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Okay, we should be safe for now," I stated and let go of the girl.

I flipped the light switch and had to swallow.

Kuon had been naked before too, but it was only now that the danger was gone that I could really comprehend this fact. She had tried to cover her breasts with her hands and had simultaneously crossed her legs, looking down with a shameful expression on her face. However, the concealment attempt seemed to be unsuccessful for her. Although I only caught a glimpse of her appearance before I turned away from her as quickly as possible, I saw her entire beauty for a moment.Her breasts were in relation to her otherwise so petite body, large and plump. She had a narrow waist and perfectly shaped legs, in combination with her smooth, fair skin. And so she shaved, I could still tell. What remained most imprinted on my mind, however, was the look on her face.I of course preferred to see her friendly smile a thousand times more than this face that expressed pure shame. But I could not help but adore the sight of her big sparkling dog eyes looking at the ground helplessly.

My breath stopped for a moment, but then I quickly cleared my throat, my gaze already averted from her, scanning the room for a towel. I tried to hide the fact that I actually wanted to slap myself for the thoughts I was having. Luckily, my embarrassment was not visible through the mask. I had to change the subject immediately before the situation became even more awkward:

"Sorry, Kuon." , I mumbled. I was surprised myself by my harsh tone. It took me a while to recollect the words.

"You should let me know next time you decide to go somewhere else."

"Oh yeah right. I didn't mean to cause any trouble.", Countered the girl who also seemed to be a bit embarrassed. So it wasn't just me who was feeling uncomfortable about this situation. Without giving my companion another look, I threw a towel right over my head at her. I had a precise aim.

" I'm going to get my rifle. I forgot it in all the hurry near the sofa."

Just as I was about to open the door to step out, the girl interrupted my process by grabbing my arm with unusual intensity.

" can you come back here afterwards? Please?"

"That's what I was planning on doing anyway. I'll be waiting right outside the door," I replied, a bit puzzled by this question.

" but I have -." she interrupted herself, shaking her head slightly before continuing.

Then her facial expression regained its former composure, whereupon she gave me her typical, beaming smile. I could tell, however, that she did not mean it honestly. How I could tell that, I had no idea myself though. But did she want me to stay here with her?

" no you're right. I'll hurry up and be done in a few minutes," she said. While she was talking, she wrapped the towel around her body in a quick movement, fastening it in front with the help of a knot.

I had meanwhile turned my gaze back to her. Although Kuon was now dressed, it was difficult for me not to inspect her from top to bottom. Her entire body was still drenched in a hint of wetness, so that her skin was reflectingthe bright bathroom light. It was also slightly red from the hot shower water. I wondered if the red tint to her cheeks was also caused by that, or if I was responsible for it.I could not help but notice the way the towel just managed to hide all the places it was supposed to cover and yet was far too tight. If she bent over, a special view would present itself to me. Immediately I dashed this disgusting thought from my head. If I continued to reduce myself only to her appearance this could end in negligence on my part and I would not be able to protect her properly.After all, that was the most important thing. I also discarded this thought. Had this strange girl really become so important to me? Nevertheless, there was no place for interpersonal relationships in this world.Before I could get any further into this train of thought, I turned away again and finally walked out of the room. I was in need of a cigarette.

[grimoire-of-geekery]

Detect Magic: the Sixth World Tarot by Echo Chernik

(pictured here- the deluxe edition [left] and the Arcanist edition of the Sixth World Tarot by Echo Chernik)

Y'know, it's been a long time since I did one of these, but here goes. It's time for another Detect Magic review. I haven't put the Dork Magician hat on for a while, so let's give this a whirl!

Today we're taking a look at the Sixth World Tarot, by Echo and Lazarus Chernik. She has this available on her website (click the above link), which come signed by the artist and the author. I'm a bit bummed, I bought a copy of this deck juuuuust before she started signing them. Not her fault, but still. XD

For those of you unfamiliar with Shadowrun, it's a cyberpunk dystopian magic-and-mech RPG setting and fantasy novel universe which originated in the late 80's. The premise is that magic is growing stronger, the world experienced a big Awakening in the early 2000's, right around the same time that corporations managed to gain extraterritoriality. So, you have dragons running huge megacorps, which basically enslave people to be lifelong wageslaves from birth (or as soon as they can get their hands on a desired talent), immersive VR Matrix hackers, cyberware enhanced fighters and magic practitioners acting as "deniable assets" to said corps for all sorts of shady business.

Hence the name "Shadowrun."

This setting, one of my absolute favorite settings out there, has had the misfortune of developing a sort of eerie prophetic element akin to the Simpsons and its bizarre track record of prediction of ludicrous world events. Shadowrun was intended to be a cautionary tale, not an oracular one. That being said, that does make a tarot based on Shadowrun more than a little on-the-nose for predictive purposes. After all, they're telling the future without even trying. Wait until they actually put some effort into it...

All right, time to Detect Magic!

Accessory- Crit (4 out of 4) Stunning artwork, evocative imagery... this deck is gorgeous. It's so beautiful, and so intricate and well made, that people who don't even read tarot (or even particularly like tarot) buy several copies for their geeky collections, and even people who don't particularly care about Shadowrun have dropped their jaw when I showed the deck to them.

A bit busier than I'm used to working with (not the art, but the extras which I'll explain later), I was pleasantly surprised at how much I loved the cards when I first got them. The box for both editions I own are a nice durable gloss with a magnetic foldover closure, there's a ribbon inside each to help pull the cards and book out of the box, and the decorative artwork is gorgeous and fitting with the setting. Definitely aesthetically pleasing enough to take places, and durable enough to resist scuffing or tearing for on-the-go divination and gaming use.

Tome- Crit (4 out of 4) So, the Tome section of this review is supposed to be about how well the cards help one in the pursuit of learning magic and practicing geekomancy. And... really, I don't think I've found a deck (or any artifact of fandom) quite as good as this.

Let me explain.

Tarot, in the sorcery practice I teach, are already basically a pictorial grimoire, describing life in a way that allows us to learn the hidden movements, mysteries, and forces at play in our world. Art is good for things like that in general. It helps you see the world through a special lens, one which allows you to see things you might have missed.

The thing is, the lens of this deck is the Shadowrun continuity, which as I said earlier, has proven to be more than a little prophetic, and alarmingly so.

The magic system of Shadowrun is pretty adjacent to our own. Life force lines, spiritual power sites, astral projection and spirits and magical "energy" forms, initiatory mysteries... it's all pretty much the same as our own reality, just juiced up a bit, with some extra game elements added (don't even ask me about insect spirits).

This makes the deck particularly helpful if one wishes to learn magic in any of the myriad ways described in Shadowrun (and they're particularly respectful and diverse and true-to-life in their tradition descriptions).

BUT, it also has an entire lore-book called the Book of the Lost associated with it, which explains all these little secret sigils and images and easter eggs stored throughout the deck, which can be used for gamebuilding and storytelling, but are designed to be arcane indicators and omens, among other things. And the kinds of symbols they use range from sentences or mottos in dead languages, all the way to waveform patterns and dot-matrix maps. I swear, if you're one of those people who like puzzles and cryptography, this deck is even more fun than the Hermetic Tarot.

In summary, while you'll have to get some Shadowrun sourcebooks to really get deep into the canon lore, there's so much of it that the cards really show you on their own that I don't consider this a setback at all. Feel free to deep-dive with this deck, you'll learn a TON about magic if you let it guide you.

Relic- Success (3 out of 4) If you read the Book of the Lost, or Unearthed Arcana, or any of the 5th edition Shadowrun magic sourcebooks, you'll see that "tarot magic" is an up and coming thing in their canon. Each text helps you see how practitioners use the cards in-game for spellcasting, ritual magic, initiation practices and spirit summoning. The Tarot are already really valuable as central objects of importance to certain kinds of magical practice. This particular deck is designed to be so handy a central object that there's an entire book dedicated to it.

Weapon- Success (3 out of 4) The only reason I'm rating this a success instead of a crit is because they don't provide enough spreads in the various associated books for one to immediately begin casting spells with them, which means you'll have to do some designing. They do have a couple solid unique spreads for basic divination though.

The deck's canon in-game suggests ritual practices like gathering and doing a ritual with sets of related cards, and one such ritual was easily adapted in my own practice, into the Lucky Kimono spread I designed (which people can read about on my Patreon at the higher tiers). So, even without outright including spell-spreads, they sort of gave us clues anyway.

Again, you're going to need the sourcebooks, but it's only a few of them, and they're well worth a read even if you're not planning on playing the game (and I don't play in the actual Shadowrun mechanical system, though I do like the sourcebooks for campaign setting ideas).

Overall Rating: Critical Success (14 out of 16)

Achievement Unlocked: Novahot Echo's artwork is already legendary in the dork realms of geekomancy. She's done work for Dungeons and Dragons, Mage: the Ascension, House of Night... she's even working on a Fate: the Winx Saga playing card deck right now. Her art-nouveau delicacy combined with the powerful non-pandering way she draws women means that her paintings pack a punch!

That being said, it's rare that we see professional artists create a tarot deck of this magnitude as a gaming accessory. Most tarot decks of this caliber are found in professional occult catalogues or as independent projects by artists just wanting to flex their skills for their own reasons. To have a deck like this, clearly a labor of love by all involved, as a major element of gameplay within a franchise is really very special. And something this diverse, deep, and absolutely saturated with layers of ciphers and riddles... it's a geekomancer's dream come true.

Level Up: 2 Levels I think the only way anyone's going to be able to top this deck is if they manage to design a tarot deck that's also a fully immersive VR video game AND an AR game and divination tool useable with one's iPhone or Android. Legit, Echo and Lazarus left everyone in the dust. I haven't been this excited about Shadowrun since Shadowrun Returns first came out, and I got a set of dogtags that had a USB drive with the game on it.

It's just... crazy cool.

Full disclosure, I've had the deluxe edition of these cards for a while now, so I've basically been low-key squeeing about this deck since I first heard about it in 2018, even before I got it. I've been utterly astonished that people weren't more excited about them, and I wasn't hearing about them everywhere.

Before this, I created my own Shadowrun tarot method using the Universal Transparent Tarot (cuz, y'know, plastic and see-through and weird little mosaic readings all in one place, seemed fitting to me), and when I got the Sixth World Tarot? I don't think I've opened the UTT since!

Anyway, this is my review of this deck! Go follow the link up at the top of this post, and buy yourself one! And hey, let me know if you figure out the cool little map trick. My jaw literally dropped when I was shown that!

[azaleakamellia]

how to read research paper effectively 📚

I'm hitting the backed-up reading list that I've accumulated in my Zotero. It's annoying and you procrastinate the task of reading as much as possible when you're in that potato phase. I am demotivated, bored, constantly tired, and feel like devoting myself to reading storybooks for life. If I can get paid for all the hours I sleep every time I feel like signing out from life, I could be making a decent living. But, too bad, I don't.

I do not endorse any products or review anything since I feel like, to each, your own. So, I'm not going to tell you what works best or how some tips can magically fix your life. I am lucky that I have an incredible academic supervisor, a flexible boss at work, a very academic-oriented sibling, and a supportive squad of friends. Even with all that, I am still depressed. So, if you're down on the low at the moment, you're not alone. But when you have made a promise, you will look like a total flake if you don't deliver. So, you gotta move your ass anyway, right?

I just started reading papers again and it was so hard. Two weeks go by without me making any progress...just stuck on one paper and not retaining a single piece of information at all. All that forehead and nothing...nothing sticks. So you can say that I am hating life right now. But, today...I manage to reach some sort of compromise with myself and it starts to feel good. So, I would like to share it with you guys who could be struggling to get the engine started as well.

🎯 Literature Review Catalog

My supervisor is an awesome human being. He's the manager/cheerleader/mentor/Allfather/Captain America/Britney Spears to my lackluster academic history. He had been keeping tabs on me despite my intermittent anxious mood that swings like a freaking metronome, so you can say that he practically keeps my boat afloat at this unprecedented time. For our proposal writing (there's a whole army of us that he's supervising), he shared something valuable. The 'Literature Review Catalog'.

Yes. It's an Excel Sheet. Nothing fancy with very normal columns that indicates the papers/resource you've read. Looks simple and useful. The columns are populated as follows:

Year: The year of publication.

Author: Short author list.

Country (Study Area): The areas that are being studied in this research. If you're an Earth Science student like me, you can narrow it down to countries. But I think overall, countries are the most general part of discriminating different studies.

Main Keyword: I create my own keywords to develop my own system of comprehension. But I do create a column for the keywords found in the paper itself.

Issue & Objectives: You can find this information from the Abstract and Introduction part of the paper.

Proposed Method: This can be found in the Results section but I usually scan through the Methodology to add in more information when I do second round scanning of the paper.

Findings & Conclusions: I add in more notes on information that is new to me here in addition to the conclusion. New information can be extracted when you do another once-over of the paper and a conclusion can be obtained from the Conclusion section.

Reference: You can find references that are relevant to your studies from this paper! So why not? Right?

But, it's the laborious work that comes with it that turns my stomach. It scares the hell out of me despite any motivational speech I give myself. But it can all make sense when you pair it with the following method 👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻

🎯 How To Read A Paper Quickly & Effectively | Easy Research Reading Technique

This is the gem my sister told me about yesterday. I brushed it off since it stresses me out to see people sharing their speed-reading techniques, study tips, and how to ace all the subjects in the world or how to get a 4.0 GPA. It really isn't the good people's fault and I blame it on my constantly anxious self. I don't even know what's wrong with me, so...it's not them. It's me. But, here, we're gonna work on 'me'. So, give this 10 minutes video a watch. It's worth it because Dr. Amina Yonis really knows what she's talking about and what's even better, she really is an advocate for effective reading/studying. It's short enough for you to maintain your attention span and you will learn how to actually 'evaluate' your reading materials; are they worth the second shot at reading? Is there any added value to it?

To summarize, what you should look out for:

Title: Read the title and find the keywords

Abstract: Lookout for the results and methods in a simple sentence

Introduction: Read the first and last paragraphs. Most of the time, the first paragraph highlights the satellite view of the crisis and the last paragraph zooms straight for the objective.

Results: Pay attention to the headings since that more or less highlights what was it that they find. If there aren't any headings, try looking at them by paragraph. Scan them through.

Conclusion: This summarizes everything in the research paper.

After the 'Conclusion', you may feel like it is an info/findings that you've already expected or grasped, and you may just proceed and read other new ones in your pile. But if you need to dive deeper, jump to the 'Results' again for the key figures or results and limitations.

So ...

How do you go about reading this and what has it got to do with the 'Literature Review Catalog'? Well, using this efficient reading method and taking out the notes into the columns will help you condense all the important information and helps you stop re-reading constantly the details that are not paramount to your study.

🎯 Forest App

To amp up and see if it was effective, I actually timed myself with the 'Forest App'. I have been estranged from it since my potato phase, but now, it's back to being that BFF I need. It took 10 minutes to go through all the steps and if the paper isn't heavy-laden, 5 minutes to fill it into the 'Literature Review Catalog'. I manage to think and ask questions in my head as I fill in the columns and I believe that's the most important part of the effective reading that we need as someone who's jumping into a very dynamic environment of scrutinizing existing work. You can use any sort of timer to actually give a sense of urgency to your work - it does help to a certain extent. So, if you intend to have fun creating a forest of pretty trees while making good of your focus time, check out this video!

🎯 Reference Manager

And please please please, organize/record your references responsibly using reference management software. Some swears by Mendeley, or the good ol' EndNote. There's also Flowcite and Citationsy. Use them. Don't download those papers indiscriminately without recording the details that can help you sync them straight to your word processor using viable plugins. I personally use Zotero. It comes with a Chrome plugin and Microsoft Word plugin that you can download separately. It's compatible with Linux and iOS operating system. I used to park my work at Mendeley, but I find Zotero more powerful and flexible enough to use and it actually helps me to make the effort to remember what I actually downloaded rather than rely on the convenience of going back and forth to cloud storage. And it's open-source. So, try it out to create an organized library.

To all the aspiring scholars out there, when you win, we all win. Share your phase and troubles with the #studyblr or here with me. Emotional support is important and if the internet does not give you peace of mind, sign out and unplug. It's ok. When you're ready to work, reach out to anyone you think will respond positively and want to help you succeed. We can't all do things alone. So, start that power-up playlist and start working!

[5secondsofdrama]

Just gotta say it's nice to find fans who are OG and also a similar age to the boys cos fr I feel like the majority of the fam are like 14-16 (18 tops) and I'm out here the same age as the boys like ... Ahaha. And I do think it gives a different pov of their music to be their same age. Like, SGFG is my favourite, but ofc it is "immature". Nonetheless, a good half of the SGFG songs they could still perform today and it wouldn't sound weird for a mid 20s to perform (eg SOAU, V, OS, C22) 1/?

Like, dgmw, I adore JBH, but it's whole vibe is so teenage that I would have thought they would have dropped playing her by now (likewise with SKH...) Heck, even their early stuff they could still play and it not be weird (the exception of the obvious being like 18, KMKM, LB) but fan faves like WAYF or IYDK I don't think would be weird for them to play. They could also change the songs up a bit, too to make them sound more mature. Idk, it seems a waste if they plan to shift fully away. 2/?

They have a catalogue of what, over 100 songs? And seem to want to move away from all their early stuff when so much could still be played today. Yb is a great album, it's matured and you still have alot of SGFG (and even their 2014 EPs) vibes in there. So I'd say it's objectively my fave as I can understand the direction they took to mature to get there. CALM however I can't stand. It feels so try hard. I'm all forcreative expression but honestly can't stand the tinny RnB mix acoustic style 3/?

The mainstream complaint of the boys back in the day was that they were a boy band who were try hards to not be and to be punk rock when they aren't punks cos they don't have that edge to their attitude that punks do. But now they're very obviously trying sooo hard to be mainstream people don't seem to pick up on that. The whole RnB vibe when let's be real, it doesn't suit who they are at all. 4/?

Last one I swear sorry but I was just thinking about all this before I went to sleep aha. They claimed CALM was genre bending when it just doesn't work to be (while Yb was more so and actually worked) and also as tho that's unique to them when you have artists like Post Malone, YUNGBLUD and MGK out here executing genre bending incredibly well but that blatantly isn't their aim, they just make music they enjoy. Wish 5SOS could just reflect and do the same instead of being try hards.

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Ok so, I think this last one goes with this grouping but I’m not sure? It’s not numbered and I technically already answered it but I’m throwing it in here anyways.

There are a lot of younger fans, I try not to judge them too much bc I was pretty young when I started listening to the guys, even tho I’m closer to their age. This being said there are definitely 15 year old fans out there being super problematic and immature on twt and everywhere else. The fandom was toxic way back when too tho, and there are people in their 30s, and mid twenties out here acting like immature disrespectful brats. You can find 16 y/os who are respectful of others, they may still have some growing up to do but I don’t think it’s fair to group alll younger fans into one category and all older fans into another. As I mentioned there are some pretty poorly behaved older fans out there, who flaunt their behaviour, as immature as it is. I think overall maturity is majorly lacking across all facets of the fandom. You’re lucky when you can find small pockets of it.

When we were on ST people liked to call us all sorts of names and sent us hate. And would turn around and say that we were so immature and hateful to Sierra. Reality is that we’ve never stooped that low, and we never will. We don’t post hate, we don’t send it and we don’t promote it.

As for age changing how people experience music, I tend to agree with you. There are certain songs that are attached to young experiences of mine. I think self-titled is the most immature, Amnesia makes me think about my high school heartbreak. I can’t relate it to my current life at all. I don’t really think SGFG is that immature, a part from the name. I think they just had a lot of other influences. I disagree that JBH has a teenage vibe to it. I would say for songs like Money, SKH, and Hey Everybody, or Gotta Get Out, Social Casualty, Reject etc. But JBH has more of an undercurrent of mental health than a need to break free of social constraints put in place by school and parents.

I fully agree that they should play more of their old stuff they have some amazing lock ass songs. Ones that didn’t become massive hits, but the majority of people that buy their records and come to their shows are fans that have been around awhile. They have it in their head they need to appeal to a bigger audience. Whether that’s a then thing or that’s soemthing management is imposing we can’t be sure. I feel like overtime they’ve grown less appreciative of the fans.

People have said if they didn’t evolve their sound they wouldn’t have survived, and I think some evolution is important but I don’t know that an outright complete genre switch is necessary for them to remain successful. Youngblood was a change from their punk pop roots, which we embraced and it was good but it was different. Why they felt the need to entirely shift from that seems so strange to me, and almost unnecessary? Maybe they are having an identity crisis. Even if they had stayed pop punk forever I think they would have been fine. As you mentioned the fanbase was always so strong behind them and a lot of the fans will blindly buy whatever they put out. I’m glad we got YB, I don’t understand why they could have just evolved form their rather than doing whatever the hell they did. Overall, I agree with a lot of what you had to say. And if also like to add I miss the punk vibe and the damn lip ring, grumble.