#I know he's a people pleaser and a creature of habit to a fault but man... Mannnnn.............

[theirloveisgross]

.

[fcrensis]

——— character question sheet

▌real name: Melissa Reed ▌single or taken: Verse dependant -- unless in an established ship w somebody in the same verse, she is single !! ▌abilities or powers: In canon ( not in an au ), Melissa is a normal human being, and has no notable powers beyond that of any other normal human being. The only thing I can think to mention is that she’s of above average intelligence. I do, however, have an Infamous au based on the video games of the same name in which Melissa is a conduit whose powers are centred around metal. ▌eye colour: Green ▌hair colour: Dark Brown ▌family members: The only member of her family with whom she is in direct contact with is Gavin Reed, her brother, six years her elder. Due to the seriously strained nature of her relationship with her parents as a result of their treatment of her, she is low-contact with them and no longer visits. ▌pets: She does not have any pets as her apartment building doesn’t allow animals. She has considered, in the past, getting a couple of rats -- but she doesn’t know if she’d be home enough to care for them properly. Some day she would love to have a pet !! ▌something they don’t like: Androids in general, but not through any feeling of hatred ; she’s afraid and prefers therefore to avoid them. She does, however, feel guilty about that, and is trying to work on it at her own pace. She strongly dislikes Cyberlife ( and is fully convinced that deviancy was intentionally designed by Elijah Kamski ). Surprisingly, she doesn’t actually like coffee, either. She drinks it because it wakes her up, but thinks it’s pretty gross. ▌hobbies/activities: Before losing her arm, she used to dance. Different styles, all were enjoyable and kept her fit. Dancing was the one thing her parents forced her into that she actually stuck with into adulthood. Presently she sinks herself too far into her work to have much time for hobbies. She likes reading, likes learning, likes to visit museums on her rare free days. Also pretty into pointing out the inaccuracies in horror movies. ▌ever hurt anyone before: Yes ▌ever killed anyone before: No, although she feels a little responsible for a string of serial killings she worked on earlier into her employment. Lacking forensic evidence meant that, despite having the suspect in custody for questioning, they could not be pinned down, and were let go. Three more women died before he was ultimately arrested, and although she logically knows there was nothing to find before then, she thinks it might be a little bit her fault. ▌animal that represents them: The octopus. They are naturally curious animals who have a very clear disdain for boredom. They’re quick learners, and use tools in crafty ways to help them get at what they want. Octopuses are some of the most intelligent creatures in the ocean, despite their generally small and squishy existence. They’re cool. ▌worst habits: Complete workaholic, neglects her personal relationships in favour of academic and work-based achievement. Despite being slow to anger, when she finally loses her temper, she becomes extremely irrational and seeks not to resolve the problem, but to hurt whoever has triggered her anger. Neglectful of her mental and physical health. Values independence to the point of refusing help when she needs it. ▌sexual orientation: Bisexual / biromantic ▌thoughts on marriage/kids: She would love to get married. Not only are there plentiful legal benefits to marriage, she just thinks it’s nice. It’s a public promise of love and devotion and she deems it to be important in her relationships that her partner wants to get married in the future. Melissa would like to have children, but it is not a deal-breaker for her if her partner doesn’t want them. She is extremely uncertain of her own ability to be a parent given that she has no healthy examples of parental relationships, and would only want to be a parent with somebody else who wanted to be a parent, too. She thinks kids would be nice, but wouldn’t be upset about it if her partner didn’t want any. ▌fears: Losing a loved one. Failure. Androids ( specifically the exact model and appearance of the android that attacked her ). Spiders. ▌style preferences: Pretty blouses. Soft jumpers. Dark and neutral colours. Pencil skirts. Tailored pants. Long silk dresses. Minimal jewellery. Natural makeup. Softly curled hair. Lingerie. Warm scarves. Flat shoes. ▌someone they love: Gavin, obviously. Any significant others. She has a great deal of platonic love for her close friends. Her parents, despite her avoidance of them. ▌approach to friendships: Melissa is a people pleaser and approaches interaction with an openness to developing friendships. She’s not pushy, but often blurs the lines of professionalism slightly in order to make people feel comfortable approaching her in a personal capacity. She does not blur professionalism when the person in question works lower in the chain than her, as she believes it inappropriate to have a personal relationship with subordinates. She is generally forgiving when her trust is breached, but is in no way a push-over and won’t allow friends to walk all over her. She is incredibly loyal and always happy to help a friend in need. Due to her general friendliness, Melissa is rather popular, but holds only a certain few people close to her heart. ▌thoughts on pie: It’s fine. Melissa doesn’t have much of a sweet tooth. ▌favourite drink: She primarily drinks water, but she’s a big fan of tea. Herbal stuff, mostly. Chamomile is nice. ▌favourite place to spend time at: She’s sort of a homebody, but she likes spending times at libraries and museums. Even with most literature being accessible through the internet, she likes the feel of a book in her hands. She’s very friendly with the staff at her local library. ▌swim in the lake or in the ocean: Lake. Riptides are scary, and with her arm, she does less swimming than sort of floating in one place near land. She finds the ocean fascinating, though, and would maybe consider it in calm waters. ▌their type: Somebody ambitious who knows what they want and is actively striving to get there. Somebody patient, who is willing to listen to her. Melissa has been deeply traumatised by her career and her childhood and although she copes well alone, those traumas are bound to arise in long term relationships, so she needs to be with somebody who isn’t going to run at the first sign of trouble. She wants her partner to be supportive and not see her as somebody with whom they need to compete. Somebody who takes pride in their work and their passions. Somebody who is honest with her. A teammate. ▌camping or indoors: Indoors !!

tagged by : @deviated-detective tagging : whoever would like to do this !! it’s a lot of fun -- tag me so i can see, i’d love to learn about everybody’s muses uwu

[livetravelasia]

Vietnam Day 1 - Mandate to Travel

It’s October 4 2015, almost exactly 1 year from when I set off from the comforts of my 9-5 life in California to seek the adventures of Asia.  Hell, maybe even to discover myself or connect with the inner Asian whatever that means.  

Prior to my “nomad” life out in Asia, I had a rollercoaster ride of ups and downs being promoted to a position at the bank that paid me 6 figures, but also burdened me with twice the responsibility.  I also went through 2 engagements and breakups in a period of 2 years leaving me emotionally drained.   Did I mention I also went to a semi cult like church that required almost all of my free time alienating me from whatever little support system I already had left after my parents decided to move back to Korea?  

Anyways, I am not here to rant or victimize myself.  At the end of the day, it was my fault for putting myself in that position where I had to hear from a physician that I was headed for an early death from stress related diseases if I didn’t get it under control when he diagnosed me with shingles.  

So I know what you’re thinking.  Why travel?  How is that going to solve my problems?  Maybe it’s the most irresponsible thing to do?  Isn’t success and happiness about never giving up?  Chasing after that American dream of a white picket fence, a nice Christian wife, the latest big screen TV, and maybe a yacht if I am extra special?  I am not gong to say that isn’t a great life because it is for many.  Hell, all the motivational movies Hollywood puts out is all about that.  So who am I to tell you all of that is wrong?

All I can say is I was at a point I didn’t give a fxxx.  When the doctor gives you a reality check and you’re faced with a high chance of dying early without a dramatic change to your lifestyle, and having worked at a bank for the past 12 years knowing damn well how the financial system in America is set up to enslave you for a late retirement, I’d rather die early kicking and screaming.  

I guess I was either fortunate or cursed with having lived in 3 separate continents for a significant portion of my early life.  On a positive, I had more experiences with different cultures as a teenager than most adults will ever have in their lifetime.  I also didn’t have the sentimental requirement to stay attached to some kind of support system of friends or family as I was uprooted from any of that whenever my parents decided they wanted to move before I could even get attached to anyone or anything.  I also knew the relative safety and possibilities for excitement that many of these “dangerous” third world countries offered which most Americans would be too scared to venture off into which is apparent in my travels being that I see far more Europeans, even South Africans in my travels out here than Americans who are actually mostly Californians.  

So back to my point, I didn’t give a fxxx.  I was going to sell my house, sell my things, quit my career, and take for myself what I was only planning for my retirement.  I was going to take what was due me decades later and postpone what I am due now which was a meaningful relationship since my lifestyle, fate, God, or all of the above were not allowing me what I was due now.  What’s the worst that could happen anyways?  Even if the movies were right, I’d die on a beautiful remote island being kidnapped to have my organs harvested after a wonderful time with some exotic beautiful Asian woman.  In my eyes, the way my life was headed, that is one more wonderful time in a beautiful remote island with one more exotic beautiful Asian woman.

Now fast forward 1 year, after several wonderful remote islands, countless of beautiful exotic women, and all of my organs intact to Oct 2015.  I spent a third of a year in Korea getting in touch with my roots, a third getting acclimated to Bangkok in my aunts vacant holiday home, a third traveling through remote areas of Thailand, Cambodia, and Laos, and I had just finished purchasing and furnishing my own condo in the heart of Bangkok.  What more could I want?

Well, that’s what I would like people to think.  It’s been a year, my passport is almost full, and now I am the most interesting, complete man ready to take on anything.  I can honestly say I was a different man a year later.  My ideologies, my personality, and even my physical appearance was completely different from a year before.  But a man is a creature of habit, and the truth is I was no different at my core.  

Although I had been traveling, most of my travels were with friends visiting from the States, or with girlfriends I had acquired throughout the year.  Sure, due to the abundance of choice out here I had grown a bit more picky, but when I was convinced for whatever reason that “she was the one” I’d go back into my people pleaser mode, and I found myself alienating myself from my wants again to please these women.  I can remember 3 women in particular I was infatuated with out of the dozens and dozens of girls I could have chosen.  And somehow I had picked the 3 that were impossible to please.  

The latest was a flight attendant which of all the reasons she could break up with me for was for a cheating ex boyfriend she doesn’t want to be with but somehow is still in love with...  Anyways, the reason I mention her was because she gave me some wise parting words.  She told me something to this effect, “Ethan, you need to stop trying so hard.  I like bad boys.”  Basically she told me I needed to be more “interdependent”.  A term many of your psychology majors might understand, but a term I am not trained well enough to teach those of you who don’t.  But I had enough free time to read up on attraction theory and ponder the ideas of being interdependent and codependent as it applied to my life over the previous year, and I had just gotten a reality check.  If you guys are interested, read some of the stuff written by this Author named Mark Manson.  

But back again to I didn’t give a fxxx.  long story short I actually did give a much fxxx.  Too much fxxx for that matter that I had a woman tell me I didn’t seem like a man.  That was my problem!  I needed to stop being so damn codependent and pursue my own interests, my own hobbies, create my own identity.  Thank you ex flight attendant girlfriend!  You had just given me a mandate to pursue and indulge in my desires just when I was thinking it was getting out of hand a year into what was supposed to be a short holiday.

I’ll admit it now.  I was doing a lot of “hooking up”!  And oh Lord I have sinned, but now I am forgiven and given a free reign to be irresponsible simply for the sake of my own happiness because my ex girlfriend said so.  Sounds stupid, but why should I question it?  Nobody is here to judge me, I am single, and hookup is the new thing with Tinder and all.  I am just finally getting with the times, and I knew just the place to go in pursuit of a 30 something year old Asian man’s idea of happiness, Vietnam.  The fabled country amongst backpackers that offered promises of raw, uncensored excitement, and pleasures.

The night of Oct 4 2015, I am in front of my guesthouse in Pham Ngu Lao looking out into the dimly lit ally.  I had just had dinner and beer with a beautiful Vietnamese girl whom we split a cab into District 1.  She had just given me a small tour of Saigon on her scooter and we were both drenched from the rain, but she didn’t seem to care.  Neither was I because I didn’t give a fxxx.  This trip was going to be epic.