#I know he voted for Tyler yesterday but I think EVERY other day he's gone for Linda lmao

[yesterdayiwrote]

Jake sitting there with his Linda board for the 6th day straight just slowly losing his will to live that the rest of them are so stupid and so easily distracted by the weakest theories...

[333kaylynn]

27 Roses / e.d.

Y/n goes to a mental hospital and Ethan visits her every day until he stops for 27 days. “27 roses for every day I missed.”

Request: nahhh fam

Word Count: 2609

uhhh i apologize for continously going from 1st and 2nd person point of view. 

I’m tagging a few people, sorry if you didn’t wanna be tagged!

@bouttogolinkurbitch

@dimply-dolan

@dolayn

@grayson-dolans-dangly-earring

@kara-dolan

@nomoregraydays

@bb-dolan

@olivia-m-dolan

@olderdolan

@justanotherdolanblog

@profanitydolan

okay im done tagging, please enjoy this bc its not the best but i meannnn

///

Day One was possibly the worst. I didn’t know anyone, nor did anyone know me. I didn’t want to sit through this stupid therapy session we had to do, but of course, I was forced. They allowed me to bring someone for the first group therapy, so I wasn’t uncomfortable. Ethan stayed with me throughout the whole thing. 

Everyone in my part of the hospital was between the ages 13-17. One girl was there for trying to commit suicide, I found out her name was Amber, and she’s 14. Elisia, 16, had gone for anger management issues. Tyler, same age as me, was there for drug use. 

To be honest, I didn’t think I belonged here. I mean, in the back of my mind, I knew knew I did, but I just felt out of the loop at the moment. Everyone already knew eachother, and I just got there. 

Ethan had to leave after therapy, and it hurt me to see him go. “I promise I’ll visit you everyday. Only 365 days.” Ethan assured you you would be okay. 

“I’m gonna miss you E.” I say, pulling him in for a hug and a kiss. 

“Okay, visiting hours are over. All friends and family must leave.” The announcement went through the speakers, and I walked Ethan to the door. 

Day Two was slightly better, I started talking to a few people, Olivia, Tyler, and Faith. Olivia and Tyler were both 17, and Faith was 16. 

Tyler had been in here for about a year before this, Olivia about 7 months, and Faith for only about 2 months before I had come. 

All we really did today was sit around and get to know eachother. We played random card games, ate, and just sat around mainly. 

Ethan came and visited again, during visiting hours. Just like he said he would.  It brought joy to my eyes too see him. 

3 to 5 o clock, every day. Those were visiting hours. 3 pm to 5 pm. 

“Hey babe. I’m here, just like I said I would be.” Ethan came through the glass doors that led to the main room of the facility. He stood in the same spot for a minute and looked around until he saw you at a table with Tyler, Faith, and Olivia. 

You stood up from the table and pulled him in for a hug. You ran your small, yet nimble fingers through his ruffled up hair, probably caused by Grayson. 

“How’s your mom doing?” You ask, pushing him off of you but still holding onto him. Ethan laughed and looked at you, answering softly, “You just saw her yesterday, y/n. Right before we came here.”

“I know, E. But hey, I have to ask how my second mom is doing. You know I do.” 

Your fingers went up and through his hair again. He smiled again and said, “I know, I know. She’s doing great. She said she might visit you on Sunday, because that’s her only day off from work. My dad might come too, and Cameron.” 

You smiled and thought of the entire Dolan family seeing you here, which brought your face to a frown. 

You didn’t want to seem weak around them. You knew they already knew you were here, but they didn’t see you here yet. It was scary, the thought of them seeing you like this. 

Maybe they’d think you weren’t good enough for Ethan. They’d make Ethan stop seeing you. You couldn’t stand the thought of that. You shook your head and looked back up at Ethan. 

He could tell something was off about you for that minute. Your troubled past caused you to space out from time to time, and it probably wasn’t going to stop anytime soon. 

“You okay?” Ethan asks, resting his hand on your shoulder and rubbing it for a minute before bringing it back down. 

“Yeah, yeah. I’m okay.” You say, smiling at him and sitting back down at the table, “These are my new friends. Ethan, Tyler. Tyler, Ethan. Olivia, Ethan. Ethan, Olivia. Faith, Ethan. Ethan, Faith.” 

You took your time introducing everyone and after your introduction, Ethan immediately went into a conversation, like the social butterfly he is. 

Tyler and Ethan had a pretty intense conversation about Tyler’s life. Ethan wanted to know more about why people choose to do drugs. In his mind, there are so many things you can do to make yourself happy besides drugs. But in Tyler’s, it’s the only thing that made him happy. 

You, Faith, and Olivia were doing an even intenser range of things. Playing a game of Skip-Bo. It happened to be your favorite game since you were about 7, your grandma being the one to start your love for the game. 

Now, at the age of 17, your love still hasn’t stopped. 

“Hey, babe, I only have 30 minutes left.” Ethan says, scooting closer to your and whispering the words in your ear as you lie down a number 2 card. 

“Do you and Tyler want to join our game?” You ask, already starting to hand the two of the boys' cards. 

Day 29. It’s almost been your first month since you’ve started here. Ethan still came every day, just as he promised. 

It was now 8 pm, meaning you had 2 hours before lights out. Everyone from ages 13-15 were required to go to sleep by nine, and everyone ages 16 and 17 were allowed to stay awake until 10 if they wanted to. 

Every Thursday they put on “movie night” where the kids got to vote on a movie and watch it together with popcorn and blankets. The movie had to be Pg 13, due to the fact some of the kids could get triggered by certain things showed on R rated movies. 

You couldn't begin to imagine the things that could cause an outburst in this place. In the past 24 hours, we've had three emotional outbursts.

"Michael, sweetie. Calm down." Mrs. DeGram said as Ms. Weiss held him down due to his frustration.

Michael's mom hadn't shown up to visiting hours, but Michael was determined she'd show up.

"No! My mom will be here, she's just running late!" Michael screamed, pushing away from Ms. Weiss. Ms. Weiss got ahold of him again and held him down gently in order to calm him down.

"Michael, you need some food and some rest. Come with me." Mrs. DeGram says, holding Michael's hand as she pulls him down the small hallway that led to the dining area, where a few of the kids were seated.

Michael's mom came today, she sat and explained to him that his younger sister, Gabriella, was feeling sick last night so they brought her to see a doctor.

Faith also had a panic attack. Her father, whom she hadn't seen in ages, decided last night would be the perfect time to see her.

Faith had to be pulled away from the tall brown headed man that sat ahead of her after she screamed and clawed at him as she called him a "dirty cheating bastard"

Olivia held her closely as she shook from under her arm, whispering things to her to calm her down as her father was kicked off of the premises.

Gabe, the newest member of the facility, was having major drug withdrawals. Him and Tyler began talking about what made them start doing drugs, which seemed to have calmed Gabe down a bit.

Gabe and Tyler began laughing about their first time trying ecstasy, as me, Olivia, and Faith were playing yet another game of skip-bo.

Day 121, about 4 months in. Ethan still came to visit everyday. Seeing his tall body walk through the big glass doors, opening his arms for the hug you greeted him with every day. 

“Y/n, baby. I’ve missed you.” Ethan states as he pulls you back in for a hug, his grip beginning to get tighter. 

“Dude, I was actually just so happy when I did it. I just wanted to do everything I’ve ever wanted right then and there.” Tyler began telling Gabe, the two of them still talking about ecstasy. 

“Are they talking about drugs?” Ethan says, looking at the two of them and back at you. 

You smiled at him and gripped onto his arms, nodding your head, “Yeah, ecstasy I think.” 

Ethan just nods and the two of you take a seat, joining in on the conversation Faith and Olivia were having. Faith was laughing at some joke Ethan had made, while you and Olivia were talking more about family life and other random things. 

Olivia’s mom passed from cancer a few years back, that’s what initially started her depression. Her dad took a tough road when it happened as well, but the two of them stuck together through it all. He visits her every Monday, Tuesday, Friday, and Sunday. The other days he has to work late. 

You turned to Ethan and laughed at some joke he made once again, causing him to grin and pull you in for another hug. You continued to laugh as you thought more about it. The joke wasn’t that funny, it was just some dad joke he probably saw on a popsicle stick before coming here. 

The next hour went by pretty quick, meaning Ethan would have to leave in the next few minutes. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow, right?” You ask, hugging Ethan again and kissing him before he had to go. 

“Of course you will y/n. I wouldn’t forget.” Ethan says, holding you closely as your head rested on his shoulder. 

The next few months were basically the same, a few of the kids getting out and a few being transferred to the adult facility due to birthdays and being officially 18. 

It was now March 17th. Meaning I had about 3 more months before I was officially out of this place. They told me I would have to stay in the adult facility for a few days because I joined only 5 days after my 17th birthday, so I would turn 18 before they could legally let me out. 

Eventually, 3 o clock rolled around. I sat at the normal table I did while I waited for Ethan to show up. 

4 pm and he still wasn’t here. Maybe he had something come up. You didn’t want to worry too much, but in the back of your head you were extremely scared. 

“y/n, sweetie. He’ll be here tomorrow, just ignore it okay? I’m sure everything is fine.” Olivia said, pulling me in for a hug. Faith joined in soon after, which eventually led to a group hug with Me, Olivia, Faith, Gabe, and Tyler. The four of them all knew how much Ethan meant to me and how worried I was when he hadn’t shown up for today's visit. 

Soon enough, the next day rolled around. 

Ethan wasn’t here for this visiting either. My mind seemed to be a jumbled up mess at the time, my anxiety kicking in. 

Ethan had to show up, I know he did. He wouldn’t be late unless something bad happened. It wasn’t like him to do that. 

The next 2 weeks went by slowly, each day getting more painful. Ethan still hadn’t been there. You did everything in your power to ignore it but as the days went on you seemed to have just gotten more worried and more hurt. 

27 days later. Ethan hadn’t been there. You went over to the nurses office, where you asked Ms. Weiss if you could talk to her for a minute. 

“Of course y/n. What do you need dear?” Ms. Weiss said, allowing you to come into her office. You smile at her politeness and take a seat before asking, “Can you take Ethan Dolan’s name off of the visiting list?” 

She simply gives you a “is everything alright” look and then nods before going onto her computer to delete his name from the visiting list. “Would you like to continue receiving letters from him?” 

You nod and say that it’s okay if she kept that, maybe he would be able to explain himself. 

As you leave Ms. Weiss room, Faith runs up to you and pulls you over to where Olivia and Tyler were sitting, Tyler yelling at Olivia for an unknown reason. 

“Faith, what’s going on?” You ask, whisper-yelling into her ear. She shrugs and responds with, “I think something Olivia said upset Tyler. I don’t know what! Please help.” 

You nod at Faith and pull her in for a hug before telling her to go get one of the nurses to separate the two. 

The nurse comes back and pulls the two away from eachother and brings Tyler over to another area where Gabe was seated. You and Olivia talked about what happened and Faith sat in silence for the rest of the day, probably shaken up by two of her closest friends here getting into such a big fight. 

A fight between them wasn’t a very common thing, most of the time everything was nice and dandy. 

1 week later. Ethan had tried to show up his 28th day, you saw him. But the nurse waved him off and after a bit of arguing, he left. 

“y/n. These are for you.” Mrs. DeGram says, handing you a basket filled with roses. You look at it for a minute, confused as to who would send you so many roses. You turn it and see an envelope, which eases your confusion for a minute. 

Y/n, the envelope said very large across the top. It was clearly Ethan’s handwriting. You ripped the envelope open and started reading. 

“Y/n. I just want to begin and say how sorry I am. I skipped the past 27 days because I needed time to think. It hurt me to see you like this and I kept on my tough guy face for you. But I couldn’t do it anymore and I didn’t want you to see me like that. I didn’t want you to worry. And I know you’re angry with me. But please, please put my name back on the list so I can talk to you. I miss you.  -E”

You were still a bit angry, but you couldn’t be mad at him for too long. You walked to Ms. Weiss’ office and asked her to put Ethan’s name back on the list. She nodded and smiled as you left the room to go back to talking to Olivia and Faith. 

Soon enough, the next day rolled around. Ethan came, right at 3 o clock. He lightly smiled at you as he walked towards you, giving you a hug. 

You weeped in his arms. You didn’t expect to be sad when you saw him. You thought you’d be angry. But it wasn’t the case. You hadn’t realized how much you really missed him til now. 

Ethan began to explain himself, and if I’m being honest, it took a lot of time and tears before he could fully get it out. 

“Ethan. Why so many roses? I mean, you could’ve just gotten me one and it would have been okay.” You ask, looking at the plentiful amount of roses that were still seated at the table they had been when you got them. 

“27 roses for every day I missed.” Ethan says, hugging you again and kissing your forehead. You smiled and pulled away. 

“I love you, doofus.” 

Ethan grinned and laughed, “I love you too, y/n. And I’m not going anywhere anytime soon. I’ll be right with you when you’re outta this place.”

[survivor-tierradelfuego]

Ep. 3: “Quite honestly it was a train wreck” - John

Zack M

really disappointed in my tribe right now. 

we are about to some telephone challenge and we needed 3 people to do this. literally excuse after excuse after excuse from everyone on the tribe as to why they couldn't do it .... and we wonder why we are losing. ugh. anyways, i'm going to do this shit with my crappy wifi because i rather act like i'm helping than bow out out of fear. and honestly i want to show that i'm committed to the tribe. it would be fucking beast mode to pull out the first win of the season for us. literally let me be the first to do everything for this tribe.

also my game feels strong so if we lose again lol whatever. 

oh yeah, amy went home. *as we go on, we remember....*

James Hayden

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v17lq3Nh054

Aimee

https://imgflip.com/memetemplate/165556484/Screaming-woman-in-car

Zack M

storytelephone confession time: i killed it. at least with the information that made it's way to me. i only missed one question that ben told me. the main reason we got 9.9/10 is because leanne forgot 6 of the 8 animals when telling ben and then we had the 10% disadvantage. i know leanne is to blame for 5% of that. curious about who got the other 5%. but like here's the thing, i love leanne. i feel confident in her loyalty so i'll smile and let that one go. i got her back. ben told me at the end of the challenge that aimee shared with him that i'm "social". so like i guess i have to stop being nice to her. i don't really want her to be the next one eliminated but strike one was how upset she seemed to be with me after telling her the only reason we didn't tell her was because neil threw her name out as someone he was talking to. i really wish she would have listened to me and not messaged everyone. i feel like that put a target on her back. strike two is mentioning my name once. right now she isn't my target but she is on the edge. i don't know who my target is right now tbh. really there's only aimee and najwah that i would consider. i hope we don't get a tribe swap because at this rate, making the merge isn't even a question for me and i'd like to keep it that way. also, ben and i are starting to call each other a power duo. i really would like to make it to the final two with him even though i've promised cody a final two. cody is hilarious but he gives me anxiety. he seems to be losing his cool and going into messy territory. he has too many conversations going which gets him worked up. i need him to focus on what's important. i want someone who i can work with. i'm not trying to babysit. but no plans of cutting that tie until the merge happens and then i will revisit the thought. cool calm and collected. you get like one freak out "what if" moment a day with me and then i'm done. what ifs ... it's what kills people's games. if my 5 alliance would just let me vibe and feel people out we would be perfect. i haven't been wrong yet. *knocks on wood*

Pedro A

i feel like those two tribals were completly different...Neil was voted out for talking too much.....and Amy was voted out for being quiet...and coming late

Ryan

These stupid idols... I feel like im so close every time! Who knows, maybe im way off? I seriously just want, no NEED that extra layer of security, even though I'm feeling alright right now

John B

Another Challenge, another time when our tribe can't seem to make a decision. I totally get why nobody ever wants to step up when it comes to taking charge in a challenge, but honestly I have no clue how we keep winning when the other tribe seems to have no issue making group decisions. There must totally be a Head Honcho over there running things behind the scenes. I have some new juicy details about the tribe now thanks to Pedro. Pedro, Amy-Louisa, and Ryan have started their "outsiders" alliance and this is stressing me out. Pedro says I'm his number one and then goes and makes an alliance without me. I think I'm getting too hung up on Pedro and I being a pair I need to worry about myself and nobody else. Obviously I'm not going to break things off, but I don't really feel like he needs to know everything I'm doing now. At least I think we are in a pretty good position. I am pretty tight with Kalle, Grae, and hopefully Maddison, and He's really tight with Ryan and Amy-Louisa and we both had a good relationship with Alan and Olivia. Between the two of us we are in an ok spot for the time being. If Tyler goes first if we lose, which still feels like the case for now, I am not sure what we are going to do after that, but we will cross that bridge when we get there. I'm going to keep working on my relationships with everyone for now and hopefully I can keep my paranoia in check. WISH ME LUCK YALL!

Alan B

Tyler put a huuuge target on his back by calling the other tribe trash when they've been doing so well, like not only they probably want to get him out asap but now everyone on our team also wants him out? and also he fluked his first challenge? How on earth did he think that comment would do anything but lower his chances at winning and make him look like a jerk to everyone playing? It's honestly kinda hilarious how bad a move that was

Leanne

So, tribal was nice and easy and went as planned, which was a very good thing, albeit with a couple of downsides. The most obvious of these is, we’ve had our easy vote... now what? I seriously do not even have the first inkling of how things are going to go next time we have to have a vote. Either I don’t realize the wind is blowing in a certain direction, which is scary, or there simply aren’t any real targets right now... and I’ll expand on that possibility later. For now let’s talk about another downside. Yesterday afternoon I got a message from Najwah asking if I’d heard the whispers about someone possibly having an idol. I said no, I didn’t know anything, and asked her where she heard it from. She said, one of the guys. Well, which one? That’s when she asked me to video chat. Finally she told me it was Cody who said to her, *we* think someone has the idol. We. I haven’t heard about this from anyone else, and I know Cody and Zach are tight. I hesitate to ask Zach about it. Who would I say I heard it from? I had to drag Cody’s name out of Najwah, and I don’t want to give her up as my source. I don’t think she made it up. Either Zach or Cody or both are stirring something up. I want them separated. I want Cody out but I don’t think I could get enough people together to make it happen, not to mention the fallout if I tried and succeeded, or failed for that matter. The thing is, I don’t know which of the two is instigating this stuff. First it was the weird vote out of the blue, now this. I’m not going to do anything with it for now except sit on it, but I see they are both schemers who came to play. I’d rather have Cody gone because I haven’t spoken to him individually, but he talks to plenty of other people and I don’t like what he’s up to. Zach, at least, has the appearance of being loyal to me. He hasn’t said word one to me about this potential idol. We check in fairly often with each other, how are you feeling, what are you thinking, we still on?, we got this. Like I said I don’t know what to make of this and don’t want to act rashly. The good news is that Najwah and I had a really nice talk, about all sorts of things. I’ve been trying to get personal with her, telling her things about my life, telling her about things like my ex and our relationship then and now. She seems to respond well to things like that, and I’m grateful for the chat because it’s a good way to make a stronger connection. So we talked about the personal life stuff, and also some game talk. She says she isn’t as close to Sarah as I thought she was. Plus we discussed how much to trust Zach and Cody, which is still an open question. And we compared notes on the idol search. We both made the same error and got the disadvantage in the same place. I asked her if the perfume was an advantage and she said yes. So now we know, and we each told people about the perfume so maybe we can increase our odds of winning something, and hopefully we don’t have to spend our own coins to do so. Really the best thing I got out of the conversation was that I feel even stronger about my relationship with Najwah. I think she is trustworthy and we’ve exchanged info completely upfront, at least I think so anyway. Right now she’s my most important ally. Last night, just after tribal, I reached out to James for the first time one on one. His answer caught my eye. I told him I appreciated that he’s willing to fight for us, and then we got to talking. It was mostly a conversation about what it would be like to be on the real show, but we talked about our shared ineptitude when it comes to anything physical, and debated whether or not we wanted to be on for real. Him, Hell yes. Me, 39 days with no food and no sleep, no thank you. But it was a start. A really good start. No game talk yet but at least we’ve got a foundation. The thing I noticed about James from that conversation was that he’s very hard-core about this. I made some comment like, this game is intense, to which he responded, when I got that buff I was in it to win it. He means business. His love for the show is so strong and shines through everything he says. He’s taking this seriously in the extreme. That’s something to watch out for. A quick sidenote about his answer regarding the potential for a swap. The question said there had been talk of it. Talk? What kind of talk? None that I knew about. Something else to consider. Finally, the challenge. I was having such a hard time deciding whether to step up for it or not. For one thing I was just plain terrified about freezing up under the pressure and letting the team down. But I’d like to think I have a decent memory. Najwah even commented about my memory a couple of times prior. And she was urging me to do it for a few minutes before I told the tribe I would. My thinking was, if there’s something down the line that we don’t all have to be in, maybe something with pictures or something that I really suck at, well, I will have already taken my turn and it’s someone else’s. At least if I try this I might have *some* success. Besides, I owe this tribe after I got us part of that disadvantage. But oh wow was it hard and scary! I take reassurance from Jay saying that was one of the better scores she’s seen in this challenge. Still there was so, so so much that I missed. And now that it’s over I fear I may have miscalculated. Remember how earlier I said there doesn’t seem to be any real public targets right now? Yeah... that. If we lose it’s going to be because I dropped the ball. So either we win and I am the big hero, which doesn’t hold much weight as we saw with Neil, or I lose and there is one clear culprit for the loss. Nice going Leanne.

Zack M

welp. it's happened. someone has sent a message to the wrong group. my literal nightmare. 

leanne: That’s what I’m thinking. I’m just deciding whether I want to use up all my coins that way, especially when I don’t know how to get more. najwah: ya sure 

LOLOLOLOL what? look i know leanne and najwah are close so this isn't a surprise. also, leanne is the reason for our disadvantage so she is obviously out hunting for the idol. just something to keep in mind when it comes to voting out leanne or najwah. definitely going to have to split the votes in the chance one of them has an idol. nothing exciting is really happening today. this is low key why i like losing. it keeps people on their toes and active. when they are active they don't have time to think. less thinking = more time for zack on this island. 

Zack M

this is a post to just to shout out najwah. it's so fucking nice when someone is like i'm available to talk to you about real life stuff and not just game. i love having open honest conversations about feelings. i do feel a little bad saying how much i want to work with her and leanne. it's not a lie but like i have a majority 5 alliance going with 3 choices to vote out and i think those 3 are talking. who am i supposed to say? i refuse to be the first one caught throwing an alliance members name out.

Kalle N

WE FINALLY LOST AND I'M SO HAPPY!! I'm excited for people to start throwing out names, although Tyler seems to be on everyone's chopping block from what I've heard so far. This should be exciting

Amy A

We lost the challenge and I KNOW it was my fault. I didn’t remember half of the stuff Jay told me. Urgh I feel so terrible for my tribe. Fingers crossed I don’t leave the game first.

Cody A.

Hey all!!! I am happier than a white girl at Starbucks in UGGS. I’m so pumped we FINALLY won immunity!!! 🤩🤩🤩 That being said... I’m kinda sad we won’t get to vote Leanne’s ass off tonight. LMAO. But if we’re being honest.. I think she might have the idol anyways, and Aimee would have taken the hit 😭 which is sad. I like aimee. I REALLY like Amy, but we saw how that worked out. Anyways.. I’m thankful we’re not losing another number, with a tribe swap looming, that could have been bad! BTW, I do like Leanne, quite a lot actually, but the girl literally has not had a single conversation with me. Amy missed half the game and still found time to talk to me about her badass hair and struggles with relocating! I guess I should try and end this confession now, TTYL. 

Pedro A

we LOST...and i kinda feel like me and jonh are kinda running this tribe....i hope a swap doesn't screw us over

Pedro A

Tyler is the name that everyone came up with ..hes rubbing people the wrong way 

Olivia A

I was disappointed about losing our first challenge but I feel better because everyone seems settled on voting for Tyler. The message he sent after the other tribe lost for the 2nd time seemed to rub everyone the wrong way. I think it’ll be an easy vote. 

John B

That challenge was rough, honestly I was crying laughing the entire time. Quite honestly it was a train wreck. Im not going to say it was Amy but like.. It wasn't not Amy. I'm not going to throw her under the bus though. Luckily I have my new core four alliance. My dream alliance of me, Pedro, Grae, and Maddison. I am super close with Kalle and Pedro has the outsiders and we both have Olivia. I am cautiously optimistic that this can be an easy vote for Tyler. We will see what happens though.

Zack M

we won! huge shout out to leanne + ben. #teamwork look at god. i'm so glad i was a part of the first win for our team. 11 to 4.5 lol whatt?!? (i don't count the disadvantage because i am not responsible for that) it's been too silent today and i feel like my alliance members are starting to get annoyed with me because i'm may be spiraling a little bit but honestly i've proven myself to be a threat. this isn't for no reason. in this game + real life .... give me validation and i'll shut up. it doesn't have to be the truth.

James Hayden

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dpw07_jlqxQ&feature=youtu.be

Aimee

https://elysiankardia.tumblr.com/post/623755743585255424 This is what I will be doing tonight after that INSANE WIN! Love these legends getting it done 👑 👑 👑 It was great getting to video chat with Ben and Cody! It finally felt like we had camp life in the game instead of just challenges and tribal. Right now with the bonds I have formed at this point in the game... I am working closest with Najwah and Ben. They are my ride or dies! 💞💖 I trust them to the moon🌙 and back. We really needed this win and I’m so happy Leanne, Ben and Zack were able to pull this through! We all needed a night off. https://64.media.tumblr.com/908f7a445a41c1e3b6c3c0fd4820ebfe/a53f344a539857da-cb/s540x810/80e7cf8f5ad8a99a80784a359c7f03d683aa3efe.gifv

Pedro A

tonight is our first tribal council....Tyler will probably go home...i hope this is the last time we go to tribal....cause after this vote...idk who will be eliminated from our tribe

Sarah

The plan is to vote out Neil tonight and cause a blindside. Everyone is on the same page tonight about not trusting him so I am confident that the plan will go through but also scared as heck.��

Kalle N

So far everything has been relatively quiet and simple which terrifies me. Either this will be a 9-1 vote against Tyler, or there are things happening that I'm not involved in... I just have to trust the people I'm talking to and hope it's not me going home I guess. I'm like 75% sure it'll be Tyler that leaves tonight though. 

Zack M

i really don't like days off. low key wish someone else would have done the challenge so we could have lost. i get paranoid everyone isn't actually taking today off. cody also shared that najwah and aimee are close so i hope najwah doesn't share that i mentioned aimee because that's bad news for me. should we have kept amy t? ugh. 

Maddison

Inevitably our tribe is attending tribal tonight. This seems to be a comprehensive easy vote, but there is never an easy vote in Survivor. Hopefully an idol doesn’t come into play and shock us all. Alliances have definitely been formed and the game is well underway. I have to remember that everyone is playing, regardless of their outward threat level. 

John B

Well, we are quickly approaching the first tribal council and I think things are pretty set in stone at this point. Unless I am being completely bamboozled which will make me cry. This vote is going to be too easy which is going to mean trouble for the rest of the votes after this, everybody is getting along too well so if we go to tribal again after this, lines are going to have to be drawn in the sand. I am getting worried about Pedro, I think he may start to become a bit of a liability. He is too nervous for literally everything which is making it impossible to make plans for down the line. He was saying he was wanting to vote out Maddison and I'm like would it be so hard to just vote out someone we aren't in an alliance with?... like... hello?? Alan may be a good next vote because we know they have the idol, on the other hand, them having the idol could come in handy down the line. I think if we lose again before a swap or something Olivia or Alan may be a good plan. I still do not trust Ryan at all, I really don't think he likes me and I am putting in the effort here. If we can bring the "outsider alliance" in with the core four, we would have a solid six that I think would take us far in the game, I am just worried that Pedro is going to start something I don't want to do. Hopefully we can get through this first vote and get back on a winning streak 

Ben Kessler

Baba booey! I helped win the challenge for our tribe, so you can just call me Joe Anglim. On a serious note, Zack is very paranoid about people throwing his name out, which I like because it makes him feel like we are close. I would like to vote Leanne out because it looks like she has connections I do not have. Leanne definitely worries me that she has an idol. Just need to keep tabs on everyone and make sure my name isn't thrown out. SarahI found the hidden immunity idol! Yesterday was the first time that I went hunting. I had been told information about the idol hunt through Cody and when he told me what was in the clothes and antique store I had this gut feeling that the idol was in the jewelry box. I had gotten 10 coins yesterday from searching the boat and then I got 5 from Cody and 5 from James, my closest allies, so I was able to buy the jewelry box today. I have spoken with Zack about wanting to share coins in order to get it. I plan on telling Cody because he is my number one and ride or die. I haven’t decided if I am going to tell anyone else or make it known to my alliance. I do feel better knowing that no one else has the idol, and I do not plan on using it anytime soon. This is such a crazy game aishshfbrhe

Najwah

I'm so happy we finally won a damn challenge! So basically Leanne and I had a long video call and we were discussing our advantages and disadvantages etc. In finding the immunity idol. She then accidentally sent a message in the main group lmao. Luckily only Cody and Zack so it so we used that to our advantage and told them where to go when they land in town. Thing is, they gave us no info back? So now we are idol hunting on the places they've been to chacke whether we can actually trust them coz we'd like to work with them. I love Zack as a person but I think he's dangerous as a player. I haven't connected with him as I have with Cody. Trying to connect with Aimee but she seems to keep us all at a distance. We have to go through a crazy winning streak now bc I am not in the mood for my trials. Fes great to have the evening off. Two evenings off actually. Its shark week so that's perfect. I

Najwah

I need to reconnect with Sarah. We haven't spoken much since Day 1. I know Cody talks to her. The only problem I have is that Leanne would like Cody out of the game solely because he's close with me and close with Zack. I'll do everything in my power to protect Cody though. I do feel as though he has loose lips and tells Zack everything which is a liability. Zack has the ability to win this game. He's smart and he has a ruthlessness about him. I'm definitely weary about him. I'll be watching him. He says we can trust him but idk. We will see. Pedro AIf tyler plays an idol...i have no ideia who he will write down Pedro A3 hours till tribal ...and im scared if tyler has an idol

Grae G

I formed a tight alliance w John Pedro and Maddison. I’m still working w the girls and actually like them more but it’s clear John and Pedro are very much in control and I’d love for them to continue believing it. Tyler is gonna be the first to go, just because he didn’t quite fit with the group vibe. Which sucks but you know it happens! No hard feelings if you’re reading this Tyler. Hey it could be me tonight you never know. Its still early yet in this and I’m trying to play a low key game and if it bites me later than so be it lol I honestly don’t have much time between work and life to put more time into it then I am. I think it’ll be basically everyone voting against Tyler maybe a few stragglers but I’m really expecting full majority. If anyone has an idol as of now I’m absolutely shocked and don’t think Tyler has one but who knows  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

Amy A.

So everyone keeps saying Tyler is being evicted today but the game is scary so you really never know. First tribal for Maola so I’m excited and scared. Fingers crossed it’s NOT me. I hope it’s an easy tribal and tomorrow morning I’m still in this game. 

James Hayden

Today's Day 7. I found 10 coins this morning during my idol hunt. As promised, I gave five to Sarah so she could use them to find the idol. She said she trusts me and is with me 100% and wants to go far in this game together. Clearly, I trust her 100% - or as much as one can in a game like this - and like our odds together. We are also talking about adding a third person from our five. Ben is my pick and she seems on board. From the outside, I don't think we are an obvious trio. I just this move won't bite me in the ass later down the line. God, I hope she's not playing me. If she's, then good on her and she's good at this game. 

Tyler H

Not much happened for me for the past few days during this round, but I still think I’m better then everyone 

Alan B

My confession is that I procrastinated way too long on my confession XD

Ryan

I believe the plan is simple tonight... well, let's find out

[survivor-switzerland]

EPISODE 16 (FINALE): THE COURAGE REQUIRED TO ANNIHILATE - BRETT

Well tribal was actually fairly easy for once. I'm glad we are all on the same page for once instead of having to say one thing for one group and another name for a different group. It's tiring keeping up with who is on which side at times. I'm so happy to make f5!!! I am happy to be with my top picks too!!! I feel like unless Luke wins immunity it's gonna be an easy tribal. Let's hope so at least!!!! It's has been hard to know who to trust and I feel if we can just make one more then we'll be ok. I know that it will be hard to choose between Ian and Dom but I think we have to see who will be best for future game!!! I love them both so it's hard for me!! I'm happy with any of the others left so I'm super happy!!! Now to see who wins immunity and figure out how to get to f4!!!

So I get back from exile and I find out that Jev was voted out unanimously and I'm....very confused. I thought that they were probably going to vote out Ian but according to Dom, Brett said that it was easier to manage with just Matterhorn in the game because we were a duo. I need to try so hard to win immunity otherwise I could be leaving and I need to make it to the end. I've played pretty well and I think I could have a good shot but Brett needs to leave. I need to be at the FTC with Ian/Ashley because they're boring and haven't done anything anfkjsnfjkn. It would be nice to take Dom to the end but he's actually played the game too so like..it's difficult so everything lies on me winning immunity this round.

i feel like i completely messed up the immunity challenge all because i could see how many plus symbols there were and now i'm literally so upset because i don't want to leave and i feel like i could be if i don't win immunity. if i don't win i'm going to work with ian and dom to see if we can vote out either brett or ashley. it's important that brett or ashley don't win immunity because brett would just play his idol on the other one. if that happens, i'd have to work on getting ian or even dom out. i just don't want to leave.

I don't trust anyone left in this game. They can all jump of a cliff because they've all backstabbed me I don't even care if I go 5th.

That's what I thought until I won immunity asdfghjk. I really am blessed at F5 immunity challenges huh? Hahahahaha take that you little snitches!!

Now Dom and Luke are approaching me, wanting me to make a move with them against Brett and here I am just like:

Brett seems to want Luke gone, because duh he's his biggest threat to win. Brett has an idol and who in their right mind won't play their idol at Final 5 on themeselves.

Dom is trying to get me to jump ships and turn the tables on Brett. He claims he can get Brett to play the idol on him (Dom) and then me, Dom and Luke all vote for Brett.

Dude are you high? HOW WILL BRETT NOT PLAY HIS IDOL ON HIMSELF?!?! This ain't my first rodeo buddy, this kind of f5 scenario is nothing new to me. I win immunity in F5 and the person who is most likely to win the whole things happens to have an idol. (Shout out to JENN FROM)

It doesn't take a simpleton to know that no matter what Brett will play his idol ON HIMSELF and no else.

Now Luke seems to be the more logical one. He wants to save himself because he knows he's going so he wants me and Dom to make a move with him against Brett. But with Brett's idol, he's basically safe, so that leaves Ashley who's Brett's most loyal ally probably.

I don't really care, I know I'm safe and these bitches will have the whole day getting paranoid if I'm with them or not. Honestly this is just too similar to the Bora Bora F5. On one side you have Brett and Ashley (Basically Jenn and Nicole) and on the other is Luke and Dom (Kenneth and Renee)

Last time I stuck with my original allies. I stuck with them because like I still trusted them after they did me dirty and I could never hate Jenn and Nicole <3. BUT for this one, I don't care for Brett and Ashley. They turned their backs on me and I probably might just do the same.

Getting rid of Ashley might be a good idea because for these reasons.

1. Gets rid of Brett's loyal ally thus he MUST turn to me.

2. Luke stays in the game and increases the odds of someone beating Brett in the final immunity.

3. I secure Dom or Luke and I could make a deal with them to NOT write my name in f4. BUT I STILL DON'T TRUST THEM!!

I don't know what to do and I don't trust anyone. I'm going to check on Brett soon and see what he gonna do about his idol. Well obviously he gonna play it on himself because he ain't an idiot. Geez, Tyler you just had to provoke Brett in your final words...

Oh well either way, I'll be betraying someone so whatever. They did it to me first, so I'll just do it to them <3

It's such a crucial time in the game!!! I'm hoping to get f4!!! So scary but I'm glad I made it this far and I think everyone left Is deserving. I would love to go all the way to f3 but tribal makes me super nervous even when I am confident about votes like I have been!!!

I have immunity so I'm supposed to sit back and watch these chickens run around with their heads chopped off. I'm supposed to enjoy my weekend before another week of reporting, paper works and stinking PE dance routine.

If that's what I'm supposed to do then WHY AM I SO FUCKING STRESSED!!

First it was Luke and Dom wanting to make a move against Brett. Now Luke tells me Ashley wants to make a move to.

Now they're trying to get Brett to misplay his idol and I'm like WTF?! If I were Brett I'd play the idol on my self. The plan is for Ashley to convince Brett to play his idol on Dom and then pull a fast one and send his ass out.

Honestly this plan is crazy, but why do I believe that it might work?!?! I probably lost my sanity after I went crazy when Tyler left.

This is just like firing a gun in a dark room. I'm glad I won immunity because these people are becoming a mess like me <3

EPISODE LOST COUNT

Jev is gone. Luke is back. I'm thinking it's going to be the same exact vote as last time if Luke doesn't win immunity. If Luke had won immunity, it wouldn't have been the worst thing in the world. Luke staying around would mean that a target as big as myself was in the final 4 with me. However, Ian won instead and things seemed fine, but Ian wanted to target Dom instead of Luke. And Luke wanted to target Dom as well. I told Luke straight on that I had no interest in voting anyone but him off.

Luke is one of the classiest players I've ever had the pleasure of playing with. He doesn't take things personally. He is reasonable, calm, and secure as a person. For my money, Luke is the player of the season. And for all these reasons, he has to go.

But because Luke is Luke, he didn't go down without a fight. And I wouldn't have had that any other way. Luke put out feelers to Dom to play dead and get me to play my idol on him while they all blindsided me. Cute, right? Now--this was never going to work because I would have been fine with Dom leaving. I found that idol by myself on Day 3 and over a month later, I had no intention of playing that idol on anyone but myself. Ashley Sarah, however, the angelic creature that she is, filled me in on the plan and we got to have a lot of fun with the dramatics. She played things up to Luke while I was extra with Dom and Ian. In the end, all 3 of those goobers put their votes on me and I was able to successfully idol Luke out of the game.

Before I sign off, I want to acknowledge the original members of the Matterhorn Tribe now that they are extinct. Every time I put a pen to parchment and wrote down RENEE, ZACK, ABEL, JEVVON, and LUKE--each was bringing the people to justice who cast a vote against Keegan in the second round of this game. He deserved way better than he got and as I saw Luke leave the game, I thought to myself, "This is for Keegan. This one's for you, babes." I hope he's proud.

Throwback to Episode Three: "I've got one hand in my pocket and the other one's fisting Matterhorn!" Cheers, friends. We'll see if I can pull out a win this weekend.

We just made f4!!!! Wow!!! I feel bad for Luke but the 4 of us stuck together through all the craziness!!!!

Yeah I know it was stupid of me voting for Brett when I knew at the back of my mind he wasn't stupid. asdfghjk

But I made a promise to Luke that I will never write his name down again and I stood by that.

Anyway it's F4 Immunity with four parts. For the trivia it took me a while because I was double checking everything. The last part the memory, I was really shook that I only needed to do the boot list. I kinda panicked because I sent in the correct boot order but it was being labeled as incorrect. It took me like 3 tries then I thought I should include Benjamin's first vote out and that was the one that was making my answer inccorect. AHHHH, you sneaky little hosts!! These bitches better not have noticed that right away!! PLEASE LET THEM NOTICE FOR AFTER LIKE TEN MINUTES OF TRYING!!

I'm really stressed right now. Brett simply cannot win any of these 4 comps because if he wins immunity I might as well just give up because his resume is the best of the best. You could compare it to like his resume is like a manuscript for a wonderful novel while ours is like some little essay made by an elementary student lol

The endurance challenge, it's like between me and Ash followed by Dom. I'm feeling that Ash will win this one because she's fast. Dom just needs to keep scoring so Brett will remain with 1. BRETT CANNOT WIN ANYTHING AHHH!!!

The flash game, I did it yesterday, I've got a really good score that hopefully is high enough to snag first place. I'm gonna try and get a higher score but whenever I play, the game lags rip.

PLEASE LET JENN FROM'S POWERS TRANSFER TO ME!! I NEED TO WIN!!

PLEASE DO NOT LET BRETT WIN ANYTHING!! PLEASE! I'd give anything to make sure Brett doesn't win this immunity!! I'd give these hosts my first born son, my inheritance, my house, just about anything so Brett won't win!!

Ash has got to realize the she does have a good case but it pales in comparison to Brett's!! She's got to side with me and Dom on this vote in order for all of us to get an equal shot at winning!! PLEASE!! BRETT SIMPLY CANNOT WIN ANY OF THESE 4 PARTS!!

CAPS LOCK IS LIFE <3

Whew that was a tiring immunity. I think that we all did good tho!! I'm kinda glad Ian won cause he deserves it. I think we all do to a point but it's so hard to decide who should go after all the hard work. I really love Brett and I've been loyal since day 1. There's no way anyone has a shot at winning with him tho. I'm glad the three people I'm with are my fave choices. No matter who goes I'm gonna be sad.

I FUCKING WON IMMUNITY!! OMG, is this like a fucking dream?! I can't believe I'm keeping my never voted out status!!

However I can't celebrate yet. There is only one obstacle left and that obstacle is none other than Brett Ashley Hawkins. For sure me and Dom are voting him out no matter what. The real problem is Ashley Sarah. She needs to vote with us this round because I don't have confidence Dom can beat Brett in a tie-breaker lol

I've talked with Ashley and I acted I was on the fence between Brett and Dom. I'm pushing for her to vote Brett but she's a bit hesitant. UGH, girl can't you see that no matter how loyal you look like to the jury or by keeping Brett YOU WILL NOT WIN! She has to realize that she has a chance of winning is she goes with me and Dom.

Brett's telling me that he knows he's a good candidate to win but so is Dom. Well I can't speak for the jury but every one of us is threat to win BUT no one is big as a threat as you Brett. I'm taking this final shot at you no matter what and I'm begging you Ashley. Please pull the trigger! We got voted in by the community because they want us to succeed, don't let them down please Ashley! Pull the trigger!

I can't believe it's FTC!!! In a main season!!! I have been blessed this season to be with an amazing group of allies!! They really are why I'm here!!! Ty so much to Ian Dom Brett Tyler and Nick!!!! You guys were the best!!! I am so happy just to be here that i don't even care about placement!!! I improved and had so much fun!!! The hosts are now my new faves!!!! They made this season so great to be a part of that I really see this as one of my fave games!!!!

IF I LOSE TO DOM I'M GOING TO CRY!

[6/19/2017 9:45:03 PM] Brett Hawkins: I think you have Ben and Tyler no matter what combo

[6/19/2017 9:46:21 PM] Brett Hawkins: I think Dom or myself would have Jev & Luke

[6/19/2017 9:46:28 PM] Brett Hawkins: Dom would have nick

[6/19/2017 9:46:34 PM] Brett Hawkins: Nick is up for grabs if it's us

[6/19/2017 9:47:18 PM] Brett Hawkins: And that leaves Zack, Abel, and whoever goes home tonight

[6/19/2017 9:48:11 PM] Brett Hawkins: As far as it looks from my perspective anyway

[6/19/2017 9:49:18 PM] Brett Hawkins: I know I played bolder than Dom, but a lot of people might see an arrogance and pride issue there while Dom was a lot more friendly and subtle

[6/19/2017 9:50:50 PM] Ian (New Orleans Host): Yeah but like Jev and Luke had already set they're voting for you if you make it to FTC

[6/19/2017 9:51:56 PM] Brett Hawkins: If I don't, they're voting for Dom though

[6/19/2017 9:52:15 PM] Ian (New Orleans Host): How are you sure about that?

[6/19/2017 9:52:56 PM] Brett Hawkins: Because Dom had his hand working with them in several heists. The nick vote was dom's only misstep and that was out of loyalty

[6/19/2017 9:54:16 PM] Ian (New Orleans Host): That's still ain't a clear motive to want to vote to win.

[6/19/2017 9:54:33 PM] Ian (New Orleans Host): At least that's what I think

[6/19/2017 9:54:52 PM] Brett Hawkins: If you would rather have Dom represent our season, you should vote me out.

[6/19/2017 9:57:28 PM] Ian (New Orleans Host): You make it sound like he's dead set to win if he's in FTC

[6/19/2017 9:57:38 PM] Brett Hawkins: That's how I feel

[6/19/2017 9:57:52 PM] Brett Hawkins: I genuinely feel your choice is to lose to me or lose to Dom.

[6/19/2017 9:58:24 PM] Ian (New Orleans Host): Okay so I kinda feel offended tbh

[6/19/2017 9:58:49 PM] Ian (New Orleans Host): You're saying I absolutely have no shot at winning?

[6/19/2017 9:59:06 PM] Brett Hawkins: I feel like you haven't played a winning game, no.

[6/19/2017 9:59:17 PM] Brett Hawkins: I feel like you'll lose 6-2 to either Dom or myself.

[6/19/2017 10:00:57 PM] Brett Hawkins: Clearly you feel like you have a better shot against Dom, but you really should feel offended at yourself that you feel your game can't hold up to mine.

[6/19/2017 10:01:44 PM] Brett Hawkins: And that is the pride and arrogance you can expect to see from me if I'm still at final tribal council

[6/19/2017 10:01:53 PM] Brett Hawkins: Because I know I've played the best game this season.

[6/19/2017 10:02:14 PM] Brett Hawkins: And you know that too.

[6/19/2017 10:02:26 PM] Ian (New Orleans Host): Everybody knows that

[6/19/2017 10:03:40 PM] Brett Hawkins: Dom, for my money's worth, has had the most strategic game and has been in the loop with at least a partial controlling hand on the most votes once I leave

[6/19/2017 10:03:54 PM] Brett Hawkins: Like I know I'm being an asshole right now, ian.

[6/19/2017 10:04:00 PM] Ian (New Orleans Host): Yeah you are

[6/19/2017 10:04:04 PM] Brett Hawkins: It's just hard not to be

[6/19/2017 10:04:12 PM] Brett Hawkins: When I have put in this much work

[6/19/2017 10:04:36 PM] Brett Hawkins: I don't have 3 other orgs I'm involved with like Dom

[6/19/2017 10:04:40 PM] Brett Hawkins: This is it for me

[6/19/2017 10:05:03 PM] Brett Hawkins: Since November of last year, I have played 4 total including this one. I devoted my time to this.

[6/19/2017 10:05:13 PM] Ian (New Orleans Host): I've been with you this entire game and I can tell that you have played the BEST game here

[6/19/2017 10:05:35 PM] Brett Hawkins: Because I cared the most

[6/19/2017 10:05:51 PM] Brett Hawkins: Because second chance actually meant something to me

[6/19/2017 10:06:07 PM] Ian (New Orleans Host): It meant something to me to you know

[6/19/2017 10:06:11 PM] Brett Hawkins: I know

[6/19/2017 10:07:17 PM] Brett Hawkins: I'm sorry for coming at you hard

[6/19/2017 10:07:28 PM] Brett Hawkins: It's just frustrating to know your time is up

I keep telling myself that this is Brett trying to fuck with my head.

That conversation just made my desire to win even brighter! I'll be damned if I'm going to lose to Dom. I just can't! I CAN'T BE A TWO TIME 1ST RUNNER-UPPER!! The gloves are off bitches! It's time to turn off my emotions for these jury answers and just basically try and make my game look like a beautiful pasta compared to Dom's game.

FINALE

I realized that I hadn't really addressed the final round of my game at all. Here goes.

I worked harder than anyone to make this game exactly what I wanted it to be. After Keegan was eliminated, I had the courage required to annihilate anyone I had wanted to. I pulled off some of the most successful schemes of the season. I danced between groups at my own preference. I won challenges. I made connections. And it all came to a crashing halt because of 2 reasons:

1) I couldn't win one last immunity challenge.

2) Both Ashley Sarah and Ian both seem to believe that they have a chance at beating Dom in my absence.

Ashley Sarah was a big bag of word salad the day of the vote. She told me "I just don't want to go to fire." That is the single most idiotic and spineless thing she's said to date. That's not a reason! She wouldn't be the one going to fire--what the hell would she care? What she meant to say was "I like Dom more than you. Sorry!"

I told both Ashley Sarah and Ian once I knew things weren't going to go my way that their vote was going to decide whether I was the winner of Tumblr Survivor: Switzerland or if the winner would be Dom. I meant every word of it. Ian was not happy to see such words. He told me "Wow. That's really offensive." And I responded as candidly as ever. "Don't be offended that I find your game doesn't match up to Dom's or mine, be offended at yourself for playing yet another runner-up's game." This was as objective as I could possibly put it. I didn't say that to Ian to hurt his feelings. Ian is extremely likable and he's a skilled player, but the most memorable game move Ian made this season was wearing a top hat during a music video challenge.

So this is it for me! They all knew I would eviscerate them before a jury and that's that.

To Ashley Sarah, you're a lovely girl. I had so much fun with you. I honestly have no idea why you play these games. It's very clear you're not in it to win it and you're not particularly well spoken, so I'm really wondering: what's the point? I owe an apology to everyone on the jury because there are 7 people there in addition to myself who cared more about this and put more effort in than you ever did. I find your lack of desire to do anything except be there insulting to the hosts who put a lot of work into the season and to everyone who worked hard to succeed. I hope you consider things like this before enrolling yourself in 4 ORGs and host one in addition to that.

To Dom, congratulations. While I feel like the final three is made up of personal assistants, you shine as a leader among the company you're seated next to. I had so much fun playing with you and for 15 years old, I am extremely impressed with the head you have on your shoulders. Thank you so much for teaching me everything you've taught me.

To Ian, I'm sorry I wasn't that great of an ally. It was really difficult to be true to you when I saw Tyler's impact on you clear as day. I think you're fantastic and while I don't feel like you deserve to win this game, you have loads of potential and you have impressed me a lot in certain aspects of this season.

To everyone who placed beneath me and the ten individuals that did not get voted into this season, my gameplay was a love letter to all of you. The competition was strong and I had a lot of work cut out for me. You're all inspiring and I'm very happy with this season, all in all. Thank you for playing with me.

To all the players, my confessionals are an immediate, first reaction to the things that happened in this game. A lot of my opinions might be rough or brutal, but a lot of them have softened in the days (and in some cases, hours) that passed. I am sorry if I have offended in anyway. Well, for the most part. If you were unlikable, that's on you. You're probably not that big a fan of me either, anyway.

To the hosts: Drew, Amanda, and Abbey, thank you for putting up with my obnoxiously large ego for over a month. You all should see the same therapist Trevor and Owen went to after dealing with me the entire Myanmar season.

And speaking of Myanmar, a major thank you to the hosts and cast of my previous season as well as Tate Hornford, Zakriah Wahid Razzak, Aras Djonovic, and Will Lott for giving me insights on the players I wasn't familiar with, inspiring an extremely diplomatic, open, and friendly chat between Logan and myself once the season began, and for cheering me on every step of the way. I really hope I did you proud.

And lastly, my game and the strategies implemented therein is all to impress Mr. Keegan S. Thank you so much for your wondrous friendship and support, for being my first original ally that every ally in the 4 games I've played has had the dread of attempting to measure up to, and for pushing me to be the best player I can be. I kept the promise I made to you--not one person that wrote your name down left with this season's crown. This game is dedicated to you.

Thank you.

Me in Bora Bora while answering jury questions:

Me right now while I answer these jury questions:

[survivor-switzerland]

EPISODE 13: FULL ON SANTANA BREAKDOWN - ASHLEY SARAH

Oh wow look what we have here.

List of people who are dead to me in this game and can go jump off a cliff.

1. Brett

2. Dom

3. Nick

 List of people I love in this game.

1. Tyler

2. Ashley

 I'm so pissed right now, usually the anger of having things not go your way vanishes in like five hours or so but it hasn't.

I cannot believe fucking Brett did that. I am legit pissed because he's reasoning was that he was being selfish and wanted Ben gone because Ben wasn't gonna work with him and shit. Well congrats on doing a bang up job Brett, you just lost us a number and my trust.

Being selfish? You have the balls to be selfish to me?! REMEMBER THE RENEE VOTE?? I VOTED OUT RENEE because that move was for the best of our alliance! I had a chance of being selfish and save Renee but I didn't because I was looking out for the alliance and then you strut in saying you're being selfish and made a move that DID NOT in anyway or form benefit the alliance. How in the world can we even call ourselves H4rmony alliance if we can't even harmonize.

So now I feel like I'm in the minority and I know I ain't winning this immunity but I'm still going to be fake with these fuckers and act like I still wanna work with them. If you blindside me and your name ain't Jenn From or Nicole G then I ain't forgiving you anytime soon.

so lets start with tribal yeah i was completely shocked!! i know dom wanted ben out but jeez i may not trust ben but that doesnt mean i want him out but i guess its what majority wanted would be nice to have a little warning tho i mean i was surprised that it actually worked

i just spent all day doing puzzles my most hated thing ever EVER EVER ok if i dont get something out oif this i will be IRATE

I apologize for spelling and grammar in last few my eyes hurt from puzzles!!! But with people changing their alliances I still think I am in a decent position. I try to stay social. I worry about not having ben as a vote especially with Dom nick on one side and jev Luke on one and Tyler Ian Brett in other. I think my main alliances are still strong!! I hope at least!! The blindside was shocking but at least today people are apologizing and explaining. it's gonna get hard with so few people it only takes one to swing. I'm definitely playing it careful from here on out.

I spent an entire day doing puzzles!! If I don't win I will cry I mean full on Santana breakdown at 1:45. I worked so hard for this. You just don't even realize

https://youtu.be/TlWHTfrGhoY

I won my second individual immunity challenge and I'm so excited! I'm going to at least match my Great Lakes placement and I couldn't be happier! Brett came to me yesterday and told me that Tyler has the immunity idol which is really fucking interesting because he's been upset at me for lying to him this entire game when he didn't even trust me enough to tell me about the idol so lmao! BUT looking at it, Tyler is better for my game than Nick is so I came up with a plan to frame Nick for leaking a plan to Tyler so that we could get Nick out. It looks like things could be going to plan right now which is amazing for me. I just needed to get some trust back with Tyler and this was the perfect way to do it because I know that after this, the only person he will trust is me and I NEED the numbers to get Brett out at some point.

Things have gotten a tad crazy here. I like everyone left but I am so nervous every week about the vote. I really hope tonite goes as planned and I'm safe. It's gonna get ugly but there's no way we have a shot at winning with MVP here.

Hey y'all I found a new definition of the word snake in the dictionary. Aside from being a reptilian creature with no legs, it's also Nick. :O

Anyways, Tyler tells me that these bastards are splitting the vote between him and me and that I'm going down. These people are ugly and a bunch of them are illiterate hoes :D

tbh when Tyler told me that they were gonna split the vote, a voice said to me that if they're going to split the vote I need to vote Tyler to keep myself safe, BUT I feel like it won't be worth it because even if Tyler goes I'm next anyway. So all I'm left with is giving my game at the hands of Luke and Jev to try and get the snake out of this game.

I'm probably getting voted out tonight. It was a good run but this run was filled with so many mistakes that it's disgusting asdfghjk.

Ciao!!

OH MY GOD I AM LAUGHING SO HARD!! After trying to get us out since the beginning of merge, Ian and Tyler have came to Luke and asked him if he wants to create a final 4 with them and me. I just find it so funny that they're now the ones crawling to us for our help.

I'm quite happy with the position I've ended up in, Brett ended up joining me and Luke last round, along with Dom and Nick and that's how the Benjamin blindside came about. However, this round we planned to split votes between Ian and Tyler so that no matter what happened one of them would leave. HOWEVER, Nick had to be a snake and go and tell them about the plan, and now he's coming to me telling me about how he's "scared" because he thinks the plan isn't going to work, YEAH NO SHIT!

Anyways, me and Luke are still holding tight and surviving (at least for now) I'm rooting for us so hard!

EPISODE 13

And the backlash begins. Nick, Dom, and I worked with the Matterhorn outcasts to send Benjamin to the jury. It made sense to me because I had lied up and down the block to Benjamin over and over again and if Benjamin were to have stayed, he would have been of absolutely no use to me. So he can go to the jury. He's a nice dude, but if you aren't going to be of assistance, you have to go.

The first matter of business was to do damage control with Ashley Sarah, Ian, and Tyler. Ashley Sarah seems fine with everything. Ian and Tyler...not so much. Tyler spins out into a lot of paranoia of who is in an alliance with who and is Nick in charge and what's going on with Dom, and why didn't Luke tell him anything--everything. The whole bit was a mess, but as far as Tyler's concerned, I'm just getting started. Tyler 100% would have been walking out the door if he hadn't won immunity. Believe it.

Luke won the immunity challenge--thirty puzzles of all different varieties. No worries. My plan was to draw Ashley Sarah to our side and split the votes on Ian and Tyler to either flush Tyler's hidden immunity idol or to send him home. Everything seems business as usual--Tyler and Ian believe we're voting out Jevvon. Nick is acting squirmy and paranoid like he always does. Dom and Ash are going with the flow. Luke is at ease with the world. And Jevvon is nervous. Same story, different round.

Unfortunately, some people can't leave well enough alone and Tyler erupts upon discovering a vote is splitting on Ian and he. Of course someone had to blab. Of course someone had to ruin it for (me) everyone! Dumbass Nick, in all of his overplaying and paranoia and Jeff Probst BIG MOVES resume-making bullshit thought it'd be fun to spill all the details to Tyler and try to get him and Ashley Sarah to blindside me. Nope. Absolutely not. You can leave as well. We'll send you to go hang out with your buddy, Benjamin, on the jury bench. Tyler confronts me. Ashley Sarah also spills the plan to me. Here's the thing: Tyler HATES Nick. And Ashley Sarah ADORES me. In what world was this going to work?! Come on, dude. Tyler and I had an open forum to get everything out on the table. And we all collectively decided it would be best to toss Nick's ass from the game. It was a nice try, Nick, but ya should have known better than to come after me this soon. Patience is a virtue. Later, buddy. I'll take great care of Dom in your absence.