#I know Showdown is most folks' go-to but the Conquest series has a special place in my heart

[spooky-enthusiast]

Rotomblr users, what are your opinions on battle simulator games?

I generally don't care for any battle simulators that try for realism and fidelity to actual battling (it is as futile of an effort as realism in graphics), but I cannot deny the allure of a complicated yet clearly-defined system.

[airlock]

airlock grades the Conqueror archetype

and this one will wrap up the series! or, perhaps, trample it with iron boots -- because this is the realm of the ones who declare the wars, control the huge empires, storm the protagonistic homelands!

(do note: under cut are spoilers for… everything, and also a significant amount of me criticizing or blamming characters that you might like. you’ve been warned! but all hope is lost; whether you read on or not, I will post this and you can’t stop me. ahahahahaaaa!!)

the scourge of akaneia

(8/10)

Medeus is the launcher of some sort of an archetype of his own, in the sense of the big honking draconic/demonic being whose defeat seals up the plot, but he also distinguishes himself very much from that pack -- in that he’s never really idly awaiting for the endgame to come, but instead, he’s pushing the buttons and making things happen, even if his signature pose is the lazy villain slouch.

he’s easily one of the stronger villains in the Akaneia saga -- active, intense, and, quite rarely for this point in technology, a splendid realization of the motivations that drove him to villainy. it’s hard to disagree that he did the “as long as there’s evil” clincher better than Loptyr.

the scourge of valentia

(6.5/10)

the remakes have breathed much of the good and the bad of the series’ modern instances into the man who knocked Mycen up.

there’s a frequent criticism of Rudolf in that the convoluted plots he weaves, leading up to his death, make no sense and feel like deliberate plot behavior; I’d say Shadows of Valentia does good on clarifying the need for all of his scheming, though, as he has to contend with a decadent church that steadily eclipses his crown’s influence and has the furthest possible goals from his.

the problem, of course, is that all of this clarification comes about in the fashion that these things tend to on this side of Awakening: past the point when it’d have fang. why only have the red-armored reindeer start acting like Alm’s father right at the time of the final showdown? there was plenty of time to build him up in the cutscenes before that, but we waste all of that time on him bullying his nephew instead. and that particular thing ends up making no sense at all!

it sucks not only for making Rudolf weaker as a villain, but also for how much it cheapens Alm’s subsequent drama. we’re really supposed to buy that he’s all torn up about committing patricide, when the father he killed was no father to him at all except for a half minute before croaking? and seriously, this time, all the people being like “don’t judge him too harshly” after Alm went and killed him just end up sounding fiercely insensitive to him.

and last but definitely least, seriously, his older sprite was better lookin’.

the scourge of akaneia, book II

(6/10)

what, you give me a chance to use that gif, I use it, plain and simple-

ahem! so what to make of our here fallen hero? his tragic downfall is quite compelling, truly striking as a situation that no particular individual can be blamed for but was merely the sad result of the trappings of the system. alas, that much is cheapened quite a bit when the result of it in actions tends to run the gamut of arbitrary villainy; it feels like the last real character-informed action in his arc is when he finally gives in to the Darksphere, and from there, it’s all because plot.

still, having a formerly playable character turn crooked as a main plot point is a player punch that other titles have rarely shown similar bravery to pull off, and that’s very much to merit. Shadow Dragon even goes the distance in trying to strengthen the punch by giving Marth and Hardin one or two tidbits of extra dialogue with each other, but those sadly end up landing quite stifled and fail to contribute to the buildup.

it has to be said, though, I really hate how this side of the remake makes his evil self look like a lunkering zombie when old Mystery of the Emblem dodged the gonk and gave him some kind of sexy vampire look instead. that was working better. so I guess that makes Medeus the only one of the list here who didn’t strike the remake fortune with a worse character design?

the scourge of jugdral

(11/10)

Arvis is my favorite Fire Emblem villain bar none. he’s the full package, and should be zenith to with any antagonist in this series aspires to.

starting off, he boasts an extensive backstory that not only establishes his motivations, but even his personality, his neuroses. but what’s better yet is that he’s such a good villain, he carries himself perfectly in the game proper despite most of the detail of what made him who he is falling to the wayside of additional material. none of that text exists to make right the deeds that he gets up to, too; it’s hard to blame him in the end, but he’s not to be absolved, anyway.

he’s also masterfully crafty, and unlike certain toadies I’ve covered earlier who dip into his pool and pretend to be the real mastermind, he’s out there doing exactly what needs to be done in order to turn the bickerings of his continent into a cycle of mutual destruction that naturally pulls him all the way to the top. you know how, if you get enough of the gang killed, you can have an ending where Seliph ends up having to take over the whole continent, leaving him stuck being Arvis 2.0? folks sometimes call that a “wtf seliph” moment, but I’d call it the crowning excellence of Arvis’s schemes -- his M.O. is never to take over the empire, but ever to undermine the existing leadership so thorougly as to make himself the only option left.

and what’s more: although the zenith of his arc is the stuff of late-term plot twists, this is that rare occasion when the plot twist is done well and doesn’t just ruin the rest of the story because of the secrecy required. the tipping point is built up to very well, with Arvis’s uncertain allegiances and sketchy character -- masterfully played so that he’s suspect, but hard to instantly point fingers at. the cherry on top is when he fakes coming to your aid at the very end, making it so look like that’s his place in the plot, until it isn’t and he betrayed you and murdered everyone. what magnificent brutality!

my god, is this long enough yet? because seriously, I could keep going. I’ll spare you all since we’re not even halfway done with this list yet, but I think I’ve made this much abundantly clear: Arvis is a master class in how to write a primary villain, and nothing less.

the scourge of leonster specifically

(5.5/10)

technically, a conqueror per se he isn’t, but he’s very much occupying a similar role in Thracia 776, as the one who directly made possible the imperial occupation of Manster and also the one who actively pursues Leif.

as far as villains in that particular game goes, Raydrik is one of the better inserted, having been given a place in the story of Jugdral that doesn’t encroach on anyone else’s but still makes him more than relevant enough of an enemy to Leif. it’s unfortunate, however, that having to play second fiddle to a stooge like Veld dials down the extent to which he can seize on that in full.

the scourge of elibe

(4.5/10)

the world’s sharpest fidget spinner has a fairly interesting concept going, specially with how it fits into the grand scheme of Binding Blade -- is it easy to disagree with the misanthropic antagonist, when the majority of the enemies you’ve faced up to that point were the assholes that were supposed to be on your side?

unfortunately, it’s still pretty easy to disagree with Zephiel in the end. I might be thinking of the earlier and more stifled fanslation, but he’s far too stoic to sell the bread that he’s supposedly growing. were that he ever really showed the sorrow and anger he feels at the lot he’s been dealt, and how it compels him to such drastic lenghts as attempting to erradicate humanity itself, he’d have made for a far more convincing villain; alas, depressive emotionless doesn’t really mesh all that great with the sort of arc he’s trying to build.

in fact, it weakens his impact quite a bit that so much of his backstory only ever goes through in the form of his sister lengthily expositing about it; he only gives his own words on the matter obliquely, and the thing ends up landing like it’s a sob story intended to drum up cheap sympathy, even though it actually explains what he’s doing.

Blazing Blade puts in the valiant effort of showing you in actions not words what led him down the path of villainy, but your prequel should not be tasked with the work of establishing you as the villain you are in your actual game.

credit where credit is due, though, this guy’s theme song slaps so hard, you end up in a dungeon with Sophia. in terms of audibly announcing how fucked you are when he’s in the neighborhood, he’s second only to Arvis.

the scourge of caelin specifically

(5/10)

Blazing Blade is mostly about preventing conquests from taking place to begin with, but this guy fits the bill neatly enough, as someone who sparks the conflict of Lyn’s story by making moves on his ambitions.

I can’t help but feel like he could have been written to be more interesting and compelling -- like, if he didn’t look like he’s roughly as close to death’s doorstep as his brother is anyway, and/or if he’d mentioned having heirs of his own that he wished to pass Caelin down to instead of Lyn... or maybe if he dropped the cacklevillainy for a moment to seize on what a genuinely frustrating feeling it’d have to be, being all but the designated heir for 15-odd years and THEN some random granddaughter appears out of nonwhere.

that said, he wasn’t intended to be a particularly complex villain; he’s the tutorial villain, with the tutorial villainy. I ultimately can’t grade him higher than such a role merits, but it’s ultimately understandable that he wasn’t written better.

the wooden scourge of magvel

(7.5/10)

although he’s not actually there at any point of Sacred Stones, it’s not for no reason that Lyon put his undead inflatable doll self to work -- and I mean that both in the pragmatic sense and in the character sense.

Vigarde’s presence is palpable, echoing through the backstories of a great deal of characters and informing their actions and choices for the greater part of the game; that’s a very impressive thing to accomplish without being there in the first place, and it builds him up to quite the solid character.

the scourge of tellius

(8.5/10)

so, this guy’s motivations are kind of wack; the clear intention there to mirror and contrast the protagonist ultimately lands flat, and his ideology does little to impress meaning upon his actions. also, it’s pretty lame that he has all the cool battle quotes he has when only Ike is special enough to actually hurt him. I’m getting the criticism out of the way now because the rest of this is going to be nothing but gushing.

what an incredibly entertaining villain! his great crooked grin never feels like an affectation -- he may be theatrical and cruel, but he has his firm reasons for doing everything he does. and the plot doesn’t tell him what to do; he tells the plot what to do, with flair. and his master plan, if hard to conciliate as an entirely human thing -- again, his ideology doesn’t land that well as an explanation for the things he does -- shimmers in its sheer audacity: provoking a world war in order to intentionally enrage the gods! holy shit. and he almost succeeds, at that.

his backstory is also a point-for: it’s not the sort of backstory that explains things, per se, but it serves instead to establish that Ashnard has been Ashnard for as long as there has been Ashnard, and that’s splendid. not everything has to go all the way to the egg!

right, right, again I’m going to try not to go on forever, but I’d be remiss in not closing with one of Ashnard’s greatest strengths: the banter. this guy has the guillotine-sharp tongue to match the extent to which he doesn’t give a shit about anyone, and it makes for magnificent lines. the part where he tears Bryce a new one and still gets to deploy him to the final battle is easily one of Path of Radiance’s standout moments, in my opinion.

the scourge of valm and good arcs

(1/10)

this guy gets quite compelling dialogue for what’s easily one of the most batshit villains in the whole franchise, and even Awakening itself.

as usual, the game elects to make the parts of his motivation that makes sense a secret for after you kill him -- which not only makes them irrelevant by the time they land, but also make him sound like he’s bonkers while he’s still around. all of his playing at being Rudolf 2.0 lands seriously flat in a story that has otherwise not really established the gods he keeps talking about breaking free from. and once the cards are down, well, he succeeds in being Rudolf 2.0, in that, as far as I hear, Rudolf made a lot less sense before Shadows of Valentia came about; his M.O. of imperialism to prevent the apocalypse is just one big honking what the fuck??. how hard can it be to just tell people about that? who’s going to stop you, Excellus?

and I will also never forgive him for directly influencing his ancestor’s weaker design in the remakes-

the scourgoo

(??/10)

so from where I’m standing, his plot twist also sounds pretty lame, but hey, I’m not going to start rating Fates people now, right

so, how are you all enjoying your brutal subjugation under The Empire (TM)? do you welcome your new militaristic overlords, or are you already mounting the resistance? the ins and outs of what sort of catastrophe we’ll be facing in the upcoming Three Houses are yet to be revealed, but before we set about blaming the crests, what would you expect from the sort of figure who’d be pushing the lances to make it happen? comment what you will through replies and reblogs, but rest assured that you’ll never figure out the master plan behind this invasion... ahahahahahahaaaa!!