#I just want to post art on my art blog yknow :S

[bentosandbox]

Ambience Synesthesia tutorial blog

rambled this out because I didn't have inflight wifi otw home and the turbulence was too crazy to draw

Buying the ticket

erm so they only dropped the tickets like slightly less than a month before lol kinda insane

The concert tickets were sold on Damai so you need a CN number or know/pay someone with one who'd buy it for you which is what I did by recommendation (A tier 1280 + 400 'service fee' [apparently it would have been cheaper if they only helped you half way or something but i wasnt gonna risk running into a payment hiccup so]) Iirc they sold it in two batches but I don't remember the ratio split between first and second wave…

I got a ticket for 5/5's afternoon show (so the second last performance), I DID meet an oomf who said they managed to snag a ticket for themselves on their own (without a Professional Ticket Snatcher) so its not too impossible to attain on your own I think??? (I didn't get a CN number until like 2 days before I flew back home soo)

Professional Ticket what?? Uhhh apparently there's a whole industry/scene for this you look for listings on xianyu/taobao etc for people to buy on your behalf, you have to give them your real name and identification number (so for foreigners it'd be your passport number) for verification purposes during entry so yknow yea

getting there

You could cab directly to the venue but my friend signed us up for the free shuttle bus (they had freebies last year but not this time) and before we boarded they gave us like free water and bread (apparently free raincoats too on rainy days) which was nice of them but also insane because. the venue doesn't allow you to bring food/drinks in so a lot of people were leaving A LOT of unopened bottles near the gate and I saw a venue staff just throwing them all into the bin (HOPEFULLY JUST TO CARRY THEM AWAY IN ONE GO AND NOT FOR STRAIGHT DISPOSAL….) They drop you off near the venue but you don't go in directly, there's a 'Doctor break room' where most people are seated waiting to be ushered in batches into the venue, but also a lot of people standing around on one side of the room swapping/offering merch

merch swap

ive been told this is a very concert culture thing but i feel like its kind of different because a lot of these are so high quality ike…you could sell them at Artist Alleys but here they are just distributing for free if you have a E2 60 blorbo lmao or whatever (there seems to be a tiny…? minority that prints official art but most of them seem to be handdrawn/made)

i was too unprepared for this lol i did exchange some of my old stickers (missed out on a collapsal plastic fan bc my brain lagged when the guy asked me and i went to my auto 'sorry i dont have any merch' response' :( regretted this bc the room got a little hot from the amount of people in there and i was wearing like 3 layers with that fan on my mind)

from people watching a lot of trades are arranged beforehand on weibo/other sites unless you're willing to yell WHO WANTS TO TRADEEE/anyone wants freebies (a lot of people were also wearing 'Feel Free to Swap Merch/Ask for Freebies' tags) which i was definitely not brave enough to do lol… met up with an oomf i got to know from last dec when i attended an arknights only and they gave me some birbs and charms (bottom of post), there was someone who got a free LGD zine and charm from me bc i posted on wb that id give a free copy to anyone with a Mod 3 swire/swummer LMFAO

I had 2 more people to meet but, uhhh so I bought an esim for mobile data and it would intermittently lose signal here and there which was a little annoying when getting coffee but it just died entirely when i reached the venue and it was kind of Dire because i was waiting for one more friend who was coming over from the fes and i couldn't contact them lmao. told the friend i came with to go in first because I thought if my food got confiscated at least my oomf could see it beforehand LOL

waited outside in a light drizzle for an hour trying to trouble shoot my data to no avail and ended up borrowing a staff's wifi hotspot to get my entry qr code (I actually bought a second data roaming plan on my local sim but i quite stupidly did not check the country coverage and only learned later that night that 'Asia' doesn't cover China kuxiao) she was so nice i was (bow emoji) so sorry to trouble you im a stupid gaijin and she was like no its ok enjoy shanghai!! pien

spent a good 30min next to this board praying for data to no avail

the show

erm anyway because of that clownery above i more or less missed the first piece (the one w the goated hoho) but at least i wasnt the guy next to me who went for a bathroom break right before starset came up

The live singing this year was definitely an improvement I think… I can't really remember the setlist off the top of my head but I'm sure someone else has already listed it out, there were a couple of new pieces that weren't related to the concert groups like a Babel/Kazdel?? one sung in Latin, a Victoria…? one (in victorian ofc) also an Amiya (? just remembering by the visuals they used lol) one in Japanese

ohh yeah so almost every track would start with like a faction logo transitioning in from 3d to 2d which was cool but also amusing because it was honestly bringing quite the 'I will Make Your Company Logo Into 3D Fiverr' vibes

Since I missed the first piece idk if any of The Dreamer(s) got 3D models but The Pilgrim(s why are they all singular) had Kaltsit playing on that piano (there was also a replica of that piano on stage the white one complete with 'Arknights' text on it lmao) and Siege being cool running around in 3D (and ofc Eureka during her denpa number) it was very cool but man... its a pity the other characters in the group just get their live2d png during the beginning and effectively get sidelined lool compared to say Phenomenal Agents idk if i like this tradeoff but that eureka bit was so good sheesh #NOVAFIVE⭐ULTRALIVESWEEP

The other stuff was really great too looking at you Lone Trail medley…!!!!! I might be wrong but I... assume... you're encouraged to karaoke bc they always show the lyrics on screen… I couldn't even hear myself anyway but it was very fun singing songs you can't get on joysound/etc with a whole crowd going at it too (even if most of them would only sing 1-2 lines of the chorus)

Mary Clare did Radiant (they had the lyrics scrolling on the sides very cool) and iirc the Throne group's song...? Radiant was so fun live

Starset did Monster > Telescope and when the latter ended they were like Bye! and we(?) started yelling ENCORE--awkwardly because idk how they do it here (I was half expecting it to be JP style 'an-call-roo' but a bunch of us just yelled en-core en-core here and there until they returned to perform Infected) speaking of yelling.. between every piece when they had to switch sets people would just yell memes or skill names (like Dage's) to pass the time or sth i barely caught half of whatever they were memeing about

did i forget to mention anything else uhhh originium rock turntable for Guide Ahead's boss theme/Dossoles Lobby and they had IS4 medley live throat singing very cool also the dancers they got for silbenherze's boss theme good stuff...

iirc after starset was like a behind the scenes video of how HG prepared for AS and a recorded lowlight video saying some stuff that i forgot LOL just some thank you message basically. 9.5/10 bc no missy/shu EP live

i just realised i forgot to display all the merch from the A tier ticket but w/e. light stick photo ft. merch swaps/gifts from friends and strangers 🥹 (the iffy lenticular card was literally dropped into my bag by an iffy coser (wearing the LT outfit..?!) while waiting for the cab LMAO)

[phightinghottakes]

why did we get the "rocket used to be a troublemaker and beat people up in the street and also probably commit crime" information if it was. literally never expanded upon or reflected in his current state. it's one of my favorite lore tidbits in this game, but it opens up more holes than it fixes. not only that, but rocket (currently) does not /feel/ like he experienced these circumstances. rocket was 16-ish during these acts (according to the title of one of the art pieces). He's 22 now. It's been 6 years, yes, and it's good that he moved on. but events like that can impact you. im guessing that it's at least how he lost his arm (considering that he had already lost his leg by 16, possibly previously once again in these street fights). also, considering the time frame of the event(s) and his actions, it moat likely would've stuck with him as during your teenage years is when you really start to exercise and grow your social skills. at the very least, it wouldve benefitted Rocket in the past to talk about his actions and feelings to Zuka or a therapist. but NOPE. he just acts all happy-go-lucky and is completely sociable. as someone who experienced some harsh shit during my developmental years, that isn't very accurate to real life. It can take years to grow and heal, and even though I do think rocket is on the right track, he still probably has some parts of his past that weigh down on him. i dunno man. just yknow, wanted to talk about my favorite subplot for a bit. even though it has maybe one mention and two pieces of art for it.

one last note is that rocket in his current state seems.. not even related to his past self. It's safe to assume that young rocket had anger issues due to his rough upbringing, but those are absent from current rocket. This issues, even when dealt with, can still flare up and last for quite a long time. 6 years is a bit of a tight time frame to have dealt with them (taking in to account that nowhere in the story does it say that rocket had any sort of mental help or therapy). the vagueness of his experience also makes it hard to process. was he doing it for money? was he homeless? did he find it fun? hell if I know, because we don't have a clear reading on it. I'll post some headcannons related to this on the hc blog in a bit, as I'm pretty interested in Rocket as a character.

-🚏

Soda focusing on one part of the lore before immediately jumping to the next part challenge (impossible)

[charlotte-official]

"the time has come for your interview! ready to be a star?" est: 09/18/23

For all your Teyvat-official account drama and weekly shenanigans, tune in every week for a post written by none other than yours truly on how the week went! Except, it's all recapped, here, on the Steambird!

(Ahem. So in other words, hey, yknow those Genshin official accounts? ex @niloupalata or @cyno-the-adventurer, well, for relatively inactive accounts like wanderer or albedo who don’t know what has happened and want to catch up on posting, I’m your gal! Also for normal people who don’t want to just read all those text posts. Anyway, tune in for summaries, special favorite excerpts of mine, etc. I take suggestions, so feel free to slide into the ask box!)

from which was once an individual person scrambling to update every week (and consistently failing) is now a team(of currently one because charlotte is not a good manager) ready and working hard to present to you: the steambird.

the steambird's team applications here

updates on thursdays - mod has succumbed and given up a attempt to have a sort of schedule—she kinda just posts whenever she wants now send help she is a horrible manager

The original mod would also recommend for the full steambird experience to go on the desktop website, where you can find all the articles. but if that's not possible, you can find everything here. This also includes interviews. Every single issue. in order. Even the latest issue this week!

tags:

steambird specials <- special articles that I will tend to particularly write if there was an INCREDIBLY packed day. Which, I haven't done in a while, but I've got one or two in that section that were pretty good. Consider giving them a read!

the steambird <- your regular weekly updates, brought to you by the steambird mods!

steambird updates <- should the blog undergo any major changes or something like that, it'll be under this tag.

charlotte's loveliest dearest informants <- normal anons sliding into my ask box to deliver info.. I love you all!

charlotte answers <- Charlotte answering any post in character. Though, she won't be answering on any issues.

question for the writer <- Charlotte answers any asks.

exclusive interviews ! <- though relatively unhumorous and mostly crack, (when I feel like it,) Charlotte will interview figures from the article to include! (separate posts)

steambird polls! <- Polls on feedback needed for the Steambird :)

charlotte reblogs! <- mod reblogs things mod thinks deserve attention- whether it's important announcements to be wary of or just pretty art.

the old pinned post

Once again, you can find all my issues(+interview(s)) HERE!

also my DMs are broken if you would like to contact me you can either dm @charnverite or my discord, livingcouch.

[tomb-the-mod]

INTRO POST

GOD. DAMN. IT FEELS GOOD TO GET OUT OF THOSE BRACKETS, They've been holding me down but NOT ANYMORE. FINALLY.

Greetings! I'm Tomb, you know me from Bob, Hammer, Icee, and a few others.

A couple of things about me

drunk mode

I'm stupid, not like bad stupid, good stupid. I have adhd and a bit of autism since I hit my head on rocks alot in elementary school, yknow, like a norm. So I tend to not really understand what's going on if too much is happening at once, going to fast, or I'm just not very caught up from doing something so expect me to ask alot of questions

I have ADHD and Tourrettes Syndrome, basically meaning I twitch alot make noise which isn't really a problem here on Tumblr, but in case you find me irl somehow then I will do random stuff, also also it causes me to get random bursts of energy out of nowhere so some days I'll be out of and other days I'll be super affectionate and whatever, you'll see it when it happens :3

I am VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY (You get the point) GAY which also means I SIMP ALOT , so I'm VERY open talking about silly goobers with you :333 (BUT DO NOTE THIS, Like yee ol fashioned "people", I DO NOT LIKE IRL STUFF/S-X/PEOPLE WHATEVER, If its FICTIONAL and its ART and its FANFICS then im okay with that, voice actors I'm kinda alright with its just kinda, not really like, a big fan. Straight up actors or people, I just kinda know them and thats about it.

I. CRAVE. ART.

Nothing more needs to be said here /silly

I think that's all I can really think of here, check this a bit often to make sure I added things because I will think about them later and add them here.

PLAY WITH ME!! I NEED GAMER FRIENDS!!

(Yes I know these are all the same so what)

Steam: Blademaster1407

Roblox: Blade_I8 (Display: Blade)

VR: Blademaster_1407

Minecraft (This is the main one): OnlyBlade_

Discord (also main): Bob da ghost

I mainly play games like Csgo, minecraft, dayZ, pz, Roblox, and some more :33

Credits to @/mod-autumn for the art of my mod sona (litterly just my roblox avatar lmfao) and @/yunfox00 for the pfp :3333

IMPORTANT TAG: #Tomby

This tag is things that AREN'T reblogs of random stuff I find on my dashboard, if you want actual conversations, use this tag on my blog :33

[isos-laptop-that-we-stole]

Hello Tumbler! Uh, is that how an intro works? I’m 307, and I made an account on this site because I saw that Isopod visited it a lot and I think it would be fun to have :0 I’m sharing this other with the other longterm wing kids… I should probably tell them that. Add more later! Buh-bye!

Hey. Uh. Arven here. Tri said I could post art on here, I might post paintings. Probably only going to hoard writing tips and aesthetic pictures, supposedly that’s what Isopod used this website for when I was their age and that sounds pretty fun? I suppose?

307 back again! You guys can call me Tri, most do! I’m just a fun happy creature, I collect plushies and uh…. Hang out with my friends! Yeah! I SHOULD GET MY BOYFRIEND TO MAKE HIS INTRO I’M OFF TO DO THAT

Tri is real excited about this, I’m having her type stuff out because the keyboard is too warm right now… anyways, my name is Celsius, call me whatever, I like roller coasters, architechture, whatever old scifi books I can get my paws on, and Tri, my wonderful partner! God I- HEY DON’T ADD MY GUSHING TO THIS I CAN SEE YOU GIGGLING AND TYPING IT

Mimi here! I’m gonna use this to find fandom friends, post edits, y’know, be a real internet kid! I might try posting music here too… we’ll see!!!! One of these days I’m gonna get everyone their own little sets of borders and stamps and silly graphics but it’s 1 am and Tri’s staring at me with that “please hurry up so I can pass this to the next room” face so BAI!!!!! （＾ω＾）

Ossi here. Uh… I’ll use this? Maybe? What is this thing- hmm, Chai’s telling me it’s a social media, and that I can find sewing patterns and recipies… cool? Chai’s turn to write!

My name is Chai and I do NOT want to fucking write on this dumb blog that 307 is setting up or whatever. If I do ever post it’ll be over stuff like… I dunno, my knife collection? And my charcoal sketches maybe. But that’s UNLIKELY! DO NOT GET YOUR HOPES UP!

(OOC: HEY HI!!!! Corv here, a few rules about this blog: THESE OCS ARE TEENS! NO INNAPROPRIATE STUFF, PG13 AT BEST! This blog may contain posts about fictional medical malpractice/abuse, trauma, mild gore… if you can’t take that, it’s ok! We’ll be triggertagging the shit out of those posts, and you can always just not read this blog if that’s not your vibe!)

(if you want to send asks, please clarify which character/s they’re for! Askbox is in fact open!)

(blog theming info will be added here when we yknow. Get to it.)

[fandomfluffandfuck]

hi S ok you definitely dont have to answer this bc its basically just me venting and its pretty lame haha but im curious if its something you've ever dealt with or if u have advice... basically i have diagnosed ASD and marvel is my special interest and has been since i was a kid and im pretty positive its going to stay my favorite thing for the rest of my life lol. and sometimes i get so sooo sad and kinda lonely thinking about the fact that like .. i know its basically still one of the biggest fandoms out there but like all my favorite fics were posted like 5-10 years ago mostly from authors that arent even in the fandom anymore and theres never gonna be another movie with steve and bucky together that everyone gets excited about and wants to talk about and theres also just so much less of a fun goofy little tight knit community for stucky on tumblr and online like ... idk i just miss so bad when the mcu was at its peak and there was so much content to consume and so many people passionate about it... and i know theres definitely still a huge presence and like im so thankful that youre an author that i love thats still super active and im always glad to visit your page and to see that theres still so many fans out there that care and wanna interact yknow. but tumblrs different now and its been like ten years since peak stucky content and the actors are all doing their own thing now idk it just makes me sad 😩😩 i feel like such a loser saying it i swear i have other interests and an irl life that is very fruitful and lovely hahaha its just makes me a bit frustrated at my autism because i know i wont be able to ever really stop loving these characters even as others move on

Hey, sweets!

I understand what you mean and you're not a loser, not at all. It's fucking great to have an interest in something, anything--what else is life for? You gotta have something to be focused on and interested in that gives you joy, otherwise, what is there? Just blandness. And, yeah, Marvel fandom is still very much active and that's wonderful and great! But, it's also true that it will never be the same as it was in its heyday. Personally, I wasn't around when the stucky fandom was exploding along the release of CA:TWS/the general MCU height, but I certainly see all the old art, edits, cosplay, etc. that's still reblogged and I've read so many of the fics from years prior, so I have a grasp of what was happening. And I can totally see how you'd miss generally, but especially if your fixation has attached deeply to these characters.

I have a sibling on the autism spectrum (who's old enough to have been diagnosed with Aspergers's syndrome before that was phased out but they are, of course, on the spectrum regardless of arbitrary hierarchical labels that I will restrain from ranting about because I fucking hate that shit, don't talk to me about "high functioning" ugh) and they have a few different life-long hyperfixations as well. So, you're not alone, but, it is hard to think of any actual advice per se. I think you're already doing what you need to be doing, y'know? You're here and enjoying what is going on now, connecting to blogs that are active, finding space where you can talk about these characters, you've got other things to do that also capture your attention, and, of course, you know you're sad about what isn't going on anymore. It's okay to be sad. You can't control what you're passionate about in the same way you can't control who you fall in love with. Are these silly little fictional characters not just people we've fallen in love with a little or a lot, no matter if they don't "exist"? I love that for us. Humans are so cute and full of love.

Fandoms and people change and sometimes it fucking sucks when it happens, sometimes it's great. Either way, it's part of the ecosystem of life. Water and nutrients and air and sun--it makes people change, it makes them grow, and you're allowed to be sad about what they used to be, you just have to keep growing, too. Remember what they were and know who they are now.

Hopefully, something in there helped you feel better, even if it was just from telling someone how you feel.

[rubberhoze]

ive had thoughts abt this for a while now and i guess im finally voicing this but

for so many years before i had so many concepts and ideas and aus for like toon content (yknow me yknow this blog) but what i did ever end up posting was a very very small fraction of the ideas i did have. like i was very inspired in that time and i was always thinking of like neat concepts and ideas but because i was so afraid of backlash or people thinking im weird or """cringe""" or taking toon content too seriously i never ended up posting those ideas (and the stuff i did post was once again a very small fraction of all of it) and they ended up forgotten in the many many folders i have on my computer.

once in a while ill go through and look at my old art that ive saved over the years and ill think like.. damn!! this rules!! why didnt i ever share this!! and i guess in theory i Can still share those but because of both memory issues and also loss of interest i wouldnt really be able to tell you about all the neat little concepts i had in my head in that time, not the way i could have back then. and its just a shame yknow?

i really wish that back then i had the confidence to really express myself and my ideas through my art (i did do that back then and i also do now but i know i also had So much more back then that i never showed) and on that note i really wish that during that time on the internet people hadnt gotten so hostile to like.. genuinity and all that you know? sincerity? i feel like its gotten a little bit better since then (or maybe i just curate my stuff better lol) i do see many artists express themselves they really want to which is honestly different to the things i saw back in the mid-late 2010's. everyone was so full of irony back then (and theres still a lot of irony-poisoned people to this day BUT I DIGRESS) and im just so tired of that

id rather be genuine and sincere even if it means that ill be like cringe or embarassing or whatever. who cares!! sure peggle make phone calls who gives a shit anymore!! im tired of being afraid of the reception i will get if i post the content that i really truly feel something towards, even if its something like a silly au or whatever, if it makes me happy i should be able to post it to my own damn blog without being afraid of what responses i will get

overall i really regret not posting things that even if they were silly they Did make me happy back then or brought me comfort or anything. maybe other artists feel different about this but i really wish i had posted more of just whatever i wanted!! maybe if i did i probably would have been a little embarassed but i feel i wouldve been happier still than not sharing anything at all

so if you see this post and maybe youre afraid of the same things i did back then, take this as a sign to let loose and do whatever the hell you want. as long as youre not harming anyone and you just want to have fun then you can use your blog however you like. and if anyone harasses you or bothers you or questions you about it ill bite their head off ok? im cheering you on forever 👍

[marinaslibrary]

Hello!! this is a message I'm sending to all of the people I interact with often here! would you answer some questions for me please?

what do you like most about your blog?

what do you like most about my blog?

what is your blog(s) mostly about?

do you like interacting with me? (its okay if not!)

what do you like to do for fun the most?

is there something on my blog you want to see me post more of?

would you rather live in the country, the city, or the suburbs?

who do you want to see at a concert/performance more than anything?

thanks for answering! :)

Of course I'd love to answer :)

Honesty I love that it's my little corner at the internet where I can be at peace.(Re)bloging about books,films, faith, art ect. Aka things that make me happy, makes this blog my safest place online :)

There's so much to choose from 😭 honestly your enthusiasm when you post is my favourite thing probably, you always manage to convey so much passion about whatever it is you're speaking about!

I'd say my blog is about 75% books haha :)

Um YES. You're such a kind person every interaction I've had with you has been so interesting, I love seeing your posts and replying to them!

........ You may roll your eyes at this point because I'm once again gonna suprise noone and mention reading. Now that it's summer tho swimming is my second favourite activity to do for fun tho!

Your daily life probably 👀 I'm a city gal, so farm life is so fancinating to me, anything be it about animals, plants ect. is so interesting

Yknow what the answer to this changes every day 😭 I'm so undecided I think I'd prefer country tho, I just adore nature.

Oooo unpopular opinion incoming but! I'm not a concert fan. I totally get where people are coming from with how much they love concerts but for me it's a no go 🥲 I prefer listening to artists from the coziness of my home or of the sidewalk during my daily walks ^^

[happylandfill23]

well howdy there partner! *tips tiny pink sparkly cowboy hat from party city*

i'm tumblr user happylandfill23 and this is my blog on tumblr dot com!! here's an intro post so you get to know me a bit :]

first things first, you can call me ember (or by my url that works too) and you can refer to me with any pronouns!

i use a couple tags to sort my posts, so i'll explain them here -

[#styrofoamm] - my art tag! this is where all my drawings are so you can check those out if you want!! (this blog was originally supposed to be dedicated to just my art but look where we are now)

[#landfill rambles] - the tag where i just kinda. say stuff. doesn't even make sense sometimes but i just kinda talk or ramble there, yknow get my thoughts out (even if my thoughts are just ham cheese sandwich)

[#cyberdevils] - anything related to cyberdevils, a band i created! there are a few other tags related to this one, those being [#pixie pereira] for the band's singer/guitarist, [#ace calix] for the band's drummer, and [#shags] for the band's bassist (no that's not her real full name btw). oh there's also [#cosmo pereira] who's pixie's younger brother, [#gloria nguyen] for shags' girlfriend, [#shagloria] which is shags and gloria's ship name, and probably even more once i add more characters and lore!!

[#cool art !] - any art i reblog that isn't mine! i forget to tag things on occasion but i can assure you if you scroll through this tag on my blog it will take years upon years to reach the bottom

[#q] - the posts in my queue, nothing much else to say about that one lol

i have 5 other blogs if u wanna follow me there as well -

@styrofoamm - my art blog! this is mostly for archival purposes, but it has all my art reblogged to it and u can follow me there if u wanna see my art or if u like my drawings but think i'm intolerable lol

@ask-cyberdevils - my cyberdevils ask blog! you can ask anything about them and i'll draw a response (unless it's a question to me specifically, which you can certainly ask as well)

@gu1t4rf41ry - pixie pereira (cyberdevils)'s blog

@acexofxspades - ace calix (cyberdevils)'s blog

@shags-shags - shags (cyberdevils)'s blog

i'm not gonna go super in detail about what i like, but you'll probably see me post a lot about gorillaz, blur, nimona, julie (band), mars argo, the owl house, nirvana, ppg, daria, manic street preachers, and several other things i'm not gonna bother listing lmao

feel free to shoot me an ask whenever you want!! i love interacting with y'all and it means a lot even if I don't respond <33

and as i mentioned earlier, you can also send me asks on my second blog, @ask-cyberdevils (PLEASE)

you can also find me over on youtube! i mostly post covers and speedpaints, you can find my channel here :D

idk what else to say here so i hope you decide to stick around!! <3

[sleepyivoryrose]

I forgot completely was I wanted to write. I had a little jumpscare right now. Remind me to never, ever put tags in my posts again. People actually finding this blog scares the living shit outta me.

I mean, I'm doing this sort of for mental health purposes. Having a clear line what you wrote, when you wrote it, and why you wrote it, is much easier (and to be fair, feels less like a chore) than keeping a word document or a bullet journal or smt.

I could post everything privately though, now that I think about it...it's at least worth a consideration.

I guess...it's like screaming into an abyss or something. You like hear yourself echo, but there's always the possibilty that someone might greet back? even though everytime it happens, it scares me...

....

Today I ate too much letter soup. I know, it's for kids. I wanted to do myself a f(l)avor and (s)wallow in nostalgia for a while. Just like with everything though, I put a little bit too much. Same with my plants, I don't let them dry out, most of the time I overwater them. I give too much. Too much of a care, too much of a reaction. Maybe it's not enough though. So people would finally take me seriously. So that my own mom stops gaslighting me and the people who are supposed to help me don't believe a word I say. I guess it comes with the schizofrenic and pacifist territory. People suck sometimes.

But there's also a lot of good in the world. People tell me I should stop with the internet, and maybe they're right. I just had the experience that the nicest, most understanding, most lovable people I met, were on the internet.

Not to say that it's all roses and sunshine. Everytime I open twitter, I get a headache (but my longing for good art is stronger.)

I am fully aware that life isn't a walk in the park. I'm very sensitive though, even though online I seem brashen and temperamental and offline I'm kind of stoic, doesn't mean I'm completely either of those things. I hurt easily, and I have my coping mechanisms to protect myself.

----

I already have enough bad vibes as it is. People are instinctively untrusting of me, and my head feels like a black comedy.

I would love to be a more optimistic and fun person, that's why I go so overboeard with the fangirling sometimes. Also, it's fun!

Offline it just doesn't come naturally to me. My grip on myself there is so strong, that I barely talk or show much emotion. One of my caretakers thought I was autistic, and I would love to check it out, but Germanys medical system is on the border of collapse, so it's hard to find medical care for things that aren't, yknow, fatal.

And it's not like I don't get social cues, I think. On the contrary, I am very observant of the people around me. I just don't react much to it, is all.

So I kind of need a way out of this madness, ykno? And that's where this lovely blog comes in. It gives me a place to vent up my inner thoughts and feelings, even if I can't verbalize them spontaneously.

...

Huh, jolly writing about stuff helped me forget my ear pain. Maybe it's stress induced...? - mumble mumble-

Well, anyways. Right now there is still no honking. On the other hand, the soccer game starts in like, 3 mins.

To end this on a good note, my friend came all happy and excited from a convention. I'm so happy for her. She saw a ton of cosplayers, and bought a lot of stuff. I am really glad she had so much fun.

I don't think, with my actual social anxiety and energy levels, that I would survive a convention, even if it sounds really fun.

---

There's a sweet smell in the air...either my roommate just showered (which would be odd, she normally does that in the morning) or the flower bushes three streets away smell into my room. Or are they roses? It's like a floral, sweet smell...! the heavy, hot air of a lingering thunderstorm seems to have carried it here. Nice.

Anyways, on that poetic word I'm gonna end my monologing for today. Or maybe not...who knows.

Deuces!

[ferretseal]

Blogs???? Multiple???

Blog futures... I guess? for an intro? I might make a few side blogs for myself. One is going to be for a totally not self-insert type character for Dnd/ Buldurs gate/ anything else I wanna do for her/me that's vaguely fantasy?? another might be solely for art, but I don't post my art much. I'd probs have to start with a massive sketchbook tour or something with all the art I've done that I can find. I want people to see my art and my improvement, and my friends are well and good but sometimes I want more people to see it, yknow?

I also wanna try drawing fan art of things I like. I mostly just draw my own OCs and I don't really draw much else. I'm currently working on a friend's OCs(though they stole one of them from me.)

Y'see, I used to be part of Tumblr in the late 2000's and early 2010's. Back when there was a lot of SJW stuff going around, you know the type, they've all moved to Twitter- sorry "X". and I was extremely sheltered by my father, who's a conspiracy nut conservative. I joke that he's two steps away from believing that birds are government drones, but It's not a full joke. ANYWAY, I ended up parroting a lot of what he said because I actually didn't know any better. I was in middle school. but that stuff somehow got onto my Tumblr, and I being the kid that I was, would get into conversations that were less than ideal. The people who I argued with online wouldn't try to educate me other than telling me that I'm an awful person and that I should "kys". Grown adults, by the way, telling this 12-14-year-old that and worse because she honestly didn't know better. Eventually, it got to be too much and I deleted my Tumblr and didn't touch the site until I made this account. That's a LONG TIME. and I don't really understand how to do posts anymore. so I'll have to figure it out. idk I'm rambling. but I might make a side blog or something!

[stonesandpeaches]

it felt fitting to reblog this here too, adding more from my main blog's stance. sorry my next rambles will feel a bit messy, i hope i ll be understood a bit a least. (im not thinking of jakei s situation specifically, but more so the fear and anxiety i ve been reading about the Fandom Dying Right Now)

i think i'd like to add, anyone can be part of a fandom, anyone can be an artist in it, be it through simply engaging on posts and asks, sharing ideas, writing, drawing, making music, voice work, picture edits and so very on. we *all* started somewhere and this fandom definitely has changed throughout the years. its a place made by fans, for fans, to enjoy things. and the key to it is engaging and sharing.

instead of only feeling doomed and grieved that it came to this for jakei and fearing this is it for the fandom (and thus letting the harassers win, or whatever they wanted to achieve), i would personally suggest we just try not to make it happen again and to start/continue cherishing the creators that inspire us each day, yknow? a little bit everyday.

the fandom is definitely still very active, its creator is still making content (newsletters, papyrus answers, new merch, new doodles, anniversaries and deltarune with its own fandom) compared to many other creations that are carried exclusively by fans, of which are still thriving without that too!

i do hope underverse will be okay, no matter if it remains most engaged with us as fans or by jakei if she comes back to it (i hope she does so much)

im sure our ideas and art will be okay

and im sure new artists and other ongoing fanworks will be okay. im hoping so and im going to cherish every artist and their creations i find that i like, more than i did before.

i dont want to sound so serious on my silly art blog, but i saw a lot of people are shaken and fearing the worst that its the end, that creators will leave, when it can be avoided. when there is still so so much love for utmv. anything of this type can be avoided or helped if we want it to.

other big creators have also left throughout the years, and we were okay. other creators became popular, and so on. it will be a change, unfortunately, but i genuinely believe things will be okay. different? maybe, yeah.

anyway, on short...i just hope my words can mean something at least to someone, even if it mightve not been my place to say so? i dont know... but i do know i love utmv fandom and the people i met in it. love you guys and take care of yourselves please.

So, a few people have been saying that with the end of Underverse they'll be leaving the fandom. I'm sitting here looking at this stunning piece of art featuring Ink, the mascot of creativity, and wondering what it would feel like to see it fade away the more people abandon this fandom. I know we're not the best, honestly known for being toxic and freaky, but I don't know guys, I don't want a ghost town.

[krikidilly]

They deserve to run in the rain together..

[recallback]

Happy New Year, everyone!

Apologies that in this last half, I haven't been as active with posting art as normal- I've been kind of in a weird headspace or making stuff that I just don't usually post (but might at a later date), but I'm hoping there'll be more in 2022.

Overall, generally hoping the new year goes better than this one did and wishing everyone the best.

[rotshop]

leans back and sips from my wine . swirls it around quietly. theres a lot but ill quickly go over what was my snapping point(s)

quick disclaimer ; this is all stuff that made me (and a few others) PERSONALLY uncomfortable, I'm not going to say that i have the last say or law of the land or whatever. i rlly dont give a shit, this is just to clarify why *I* don't want him near me.

[ TW ; talk of minors around n/$f/w , weird interactions between adults + minors revolving n/$f/w content , n/$f/w ]

1 ) weird dni on an nsfw post

while i can understand that this could entirely be a case of bad wording, i'm still uncomfortable with it. it -unintentionally or not- dismisses the whole 'minors dni' part of it, with a sort of 'you CAN read, just be sneaky about it, k?' sorta vibe. while, i do hope this was just a case of bad wording, given his other interactions with minors i still think its something worth glancing at.

2 ) accepting suggestive content from minors

ANOTHER quick disclaimer - i cannot, in good faith, blame the minor in the situation for this at all. salem, while not incredibly old, is still over 18 and should be aware of how that affects his interactions w/ minors in these sorts of lights. he should be aware that it is under no circumstances ok to accept / support nsfw (or nsfw aligned) content from a minor. again, i am NOT at all blaming the minor in this situation.

while it isn't SUPER blatant nsfw or anything, I still think the art is suggestive enough that it's worth acknowledging. and while i am aware that this could've been miscommunication / misinterpreting, i still find it questionable.

3 ) repeated untagged content

this one i really dont think i need to bring specific examples up for. it's happened time and time again that it's hard to not notice. they allow minors to follow them with this warning:

this is fine. whatever. i dont care yknow. however, the problem comes when this content isn't tagged, meaning there's nothing keeping said minors from viewing said nsfw content. this makes the point fall apart. i KNOW this untagged content is a problem because, again, i and several others have seen it again and again.

if you need a specific example, here's this (again, nsfw warning. this time explicit kink mention). while im aware this was a mistake, that doesn't mean the reblog of the deleted mistake post should have no 'minors dni' tag, as they're still going to see something that was originally meant for a no minors blog.

-

again, im not law of the land. this isn't a 'callout,' if anyone calls this that ill go fucking deranged /srs . it's not a callout or anything, this is just an explanation for those who are curious. im not going to argue with anyone about this because quite frankly i really dont fucking care. salem has violated my dni in two different ways and followed me twice despite that until i hardblocked. im personally uncomfortable with him and i personally dont want him near me or my content.

this is only my personal few points, there's a lot more but i don't want to get into it for my own comfort / sanity. /hj

[miraculouskitten]

Imma do this on @applepiedragon so just leave an ask there

I wanted to make one of those color palette memes with my favorite color schemes.