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efortmanteau · 6 years ago

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TMA Headcanons

I sort of spoiled myself in terms of headcanons for The Adventure Zone, so now I try to finish/get caught up on podcasts and form impressions entirely in my head before introducing visual ideas via fanart. And lately I've been focusing on The Magnus Archives SOOOO here we go:

My headcanons for The Magnus Archives. A few were originally written after listening through s2. I've added my s3 thoughts below characters or in a new section. I'm only 3 episodes in to s4 so no spoilers after the end of s3.

Jon (I only recently discovered that there's no H in his spelling, whoops) aka The Archivist - Obviously Jon doesn't really have fun ever, so the main word I think of is 'austere.' He's a pale white guy with dark hair and greyish or brownish eyes who basically always dresses formally--collared shirts, slacks, maybe even vests, usually neutral colors. He's thin, but not fit--just the type of guy who doesn't put on weight since he doesn't focus much on food. Rectangular face, maybe has facial hair… I haven't decided, but if he does, it's like a goatee/mustache scenario that's always well trimmed. In my mind, he's young to mid 30s, but could look older. When he's scared or disshevelled though, he looks a lot younger. I think he's also kind of short, maybe 5'8", so he keeps really good posture to make up for it. Ben Whishaw is almost right, but he'd have to be homelier. S3 updates: Not really any? Although apparently it's Jon without an H. I've confirmed that he looks older than he is since the spider picturebook episode (which I would love Don Hertzfeld to animate, perhaps with assistance from Jules Feiffer who is 90 gd years old… that episode is so vivid in my head). Also I forgot Jon has worm… scars? Pock-marks? Not sure how that works, but you probably don't see them much, given I can't imagine him in short sleeves or shorts, although maybe he has a few on his neck visible pretty frequently, above collars. I'm was pleased to learn he is canonically asexual, but not all that surprised. Something about the way he interacted with Georgie in her apartment had me wondering… maybe it reminds me of me and my ex (I'm the asexual one, my ex isn't, but we still get along).

Martin - I immediately imagined Marty (Terry Gross Waters-Waters SAT tutor in Gayle) when I learned more about soft, sweet lad Martin, so Matty Cardarople has always kind of been in my head. That is probably just a similar name situation, but it's kind of perfect. Since Martin said he wasn't the smallest of guys but still made it into a basement window, I imagine he's kind of tall and chubby, but doesn't seem tall, slouchy, not the most confident person. Sort of a Neville Longbottom situation (before the glow-up). I think somewhere between Matty and Nick Robinson is around the correct appearance: a little more clean shaven and formally dressed than Matty often is with shorter hair (but still flippy), but softer than Nick is. This guy wears sweaters a lot. I guess he's canonically 29 at the end of s1--I had imagined him in his mid 20s somewhere, but I guess he was pretending to be older since he claimed he had a master's degree. S3 updates: Martin is probably the one who was most easy for me to imagine. I never really thought of his fixation on Jon to be a crush, which I'm really intrigued by in terms of character development. I was parsing it more of Martin being a bit of a subservient character, that he was like that to everyone in the office, but we only saw it from Jon's POV as the primary narrator. If I do a re-listen, I'll be very interested to pick out some Martin/Jon moments now that I have a different context.

Sasha (or maybe Sascha) - I sort of had Sally Donovan from BBC's Sherlock in mind initially. I tried to stray away from that and looked up "half black actress." I picked out Zawe Ashton without even realizing that she had in fact played Sally (in one episode, so not her main actress) because of her hair and skin and the fact that her face is pleasant, but not the typical hyper-button baby doll face that some actresses have. Sasha has natural hair with light curls (sometimes straightened). I originally pictured a small afro, but I think in s2, they refer to her as having long hair, so I guess not? I'm also not clear if that was Not-Sasha imitating her, or just straight up not looking like real-Sasha at all. She's slim, pretty posh/minimalist in style--grey herringbone peacoat, umbrella, boots. I imagine she's half Russian heritage-wise, since is a common Russian diminutive for Aleksandra. I would put her in the 25-27 age range. S3 updates: I caught on to Not-Sasha (partially because I saw the name in the voice actor credits, whoops), but I think I also caught something in Lottie's flat affect that clued me in. I thought that the imposter was just good at disguise, not that people had been cursed to forget what real Sasha looked like, so Melanie's introduction and take on Sasha/Not-Sasha threw me off a bit. I don't remember if the "long hair" comment was for real- or Not-Sasha. But I don't have any headcanons about Not-Sasha… just that she looks nothing like the original.

Tim - In my head Tim is the tallest main character, maybe 6'2", and pretty fit. He's imposing at first glance, but since he's so congenial and laid back (at least in s1 before Jon totally pisses him off) everyone who knows him knows he's a nice, fun guy. He's black, with fairly dark complexion, short hair, clean shaven. He probably wears sweaters too, but like… the thinner kind. None of this bulky knit from grandma that Martin rocks. I first think of Alan from Russian Doll (Charlie Barnett), but darker, just black instead of more mixed. I'd say he's around Jon's age. S3 updates: RIP in pepperinos. I guess him being fit is not unreasonable since he is… canonically? (does Alex and Jonny joking about it make it canonical) an outdoorsy adventurer. I certainly missed his friendly nature, but my headcanons didn't really change. He just looked a lot more tired up until the end of s3.

Elias - He is older than the rest of them, I would guess in his 40s or 50s, but given that it's canon that he rose in the ranks kind of quickly, maybe he's not that old after all. I don't really have a good mental picture of him, maybe because I can't differentiate his voice from John's a lot of the time until I piece the context together. In my mind he has a beard and mustache though, kind of full, and maybe dirty blonde hair that's greying a bit. S3 updates: I wouldn't be surprised if he carried a cane that was actually a sword or a gun (I'm American, so having a gun seems very easy to me, so I'm not sure if that would be rare in England). Also, did I hear something about having a grey bun? Maybe I'm completely confusing it with something else, but I'm chuckling about man bun Elias.

Michael - Well, he isn't human… but he looks kind of like a really pale guy who is mishapen and thus wearing a lot of clothing at first glance? He probably wears a lot of clothes so you can't really make him out under the trench coat, scarf, hat, etc. (I might be confusing him with someone else). I think it's canon that his hands are large and maybe have too many bones. For some reason, Michael reminds me of tourmalinated quartz--black and white for the most part, striations cutting through the clearer crystal--sort of like a metaphor for how he kind of… dimension hops? Ends up where he isn't supposed to? I imagine striations of his appearance sort of blip in and out when you look at him based on the static he causes on recordings. S3 updates: I now know that he was an assistant to Gertrude. I guess my idea of his human form is basically the same color and demeanor, just not other-worldly in proportions and bone count. Probably the tall gangly type of white guy. ALSO I guess he's kind of Helen now…? I'll do a separate one for Helen.

---BREAK to add characters I didn't write about until the end of s3---

Basira - I assume she is a Muslim woman, based on her name. I imagine she wears a hijab. I picture her as Middle-Eastern, perhaps Iranian, but she could also be black (there are a fair amount of black Muslims in America, not sure if it's common in England). Other than the hijab, she's not very feminine in her styling. Being on the force probably means you want pretty functional, utilitarian garments. I don't remember if she talked in great detail about how she joined the police, whether it was straight from school, but in my mind she's late 30s.

Daisy - I think I recall she has a back tattoo? She's a murderer so she has a tough air about her, but she's also a subtle murderer, so nothing about her screams that she's dangerous… you just get that feeling, you know? I imagine a white lady, short blonde hair, blue eyes. Kind of like Brienne of Tarth, but more plain than ugly. She's maybe early to mid 40s. I'm not sure if her relationship with Basira is supposed to be romantic or not. I kind of prefer this weird closeness that doesn't always equate to trust given their specific experiences. Regardless, I imagine they are around the same age.

Melanie - Melanie is probably the youngest, early to mid 20s. Typical build and height, maybe a little chubby, but not unable to climb fences or anything (gotta hunt them ghosts). She has a short, asymmetrical bob, dark hair, but part is dyed a bright color of pink, purple, maybe green. I imagine she has a go-to windbreaker that has some neon colors.

Helen - I'm so sad that we had to lose Michael to gain Helen. I really love the Spiral and the characters we've met who are involved with them. Helen in my mind was a badass realtor, ready to close a deal, very driven… and that carried over into becoming SpiralHelen. She sort of outsmarted it with the locked door, didn't she? I can't imagine that's very common for humans/avatars to get the better of their entities. She seems really strong willed, so I'm excited to see where she goes as a human who is becoming an avatar. I think her personality translates into her being 40-something but like lowkey hot? She probably rocks a suit with a skirt in bold colors that men's wear usually doesn't offer (all over red suit, tailored to her, pumps, straight brown hair, nice makeup). I'm not sure how the Spiral would affect her… maybe her angles just get a little more pronounced? She's probably not yet to the point of disfiguration that Michael was anyway.

Georgie - She is like a terrier who will bark at a big dog because they don't know to be afraid of it (or… how to be afraid of it, in her case). She is short, 5'2" or less (I just remembered that a lot of the listeners probably use metric measurements, so sorry for that, but I'm not going to bother converting). I imagine she is cute--she dresses up for her dates to Hungarian restaurants (my favorite detail omg girl get it) and wants to look hot, but really she can't get away from cute. Brown curly hair, big brown eyes, button nose. But resting bitch face… gotta ward off those catcalls and get taken seriously somehow.

Jergen? I can’t spell, it’s Jurgen - Jowly white guy. Wispy caramelly colored hair that's going white. Probably pretty tall, which I'm sure what an annoyance in those tunnels.

Gertrude - At first glance, just some old white lady. But after you get to know her, you realize she can probably murder you and is nowhere near as frail as you think. Curly, wiry grey hair.

#tma #the magnus archives

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norhymenoreasonff-blog · 7 years ago

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Chapter 39

Softly whispering, “What is this?”

I smile at that wonder in her voice. My woman… my wife… I never thought my life would be this happy and this fulfilled but it is and it’s all because of her. I still remember those days when we laid across the auditorium stage after purposely being put out of class. We would dream up how our lives would be years down the line and she would whisper out these stories filled with luxuries and travel and everything the fabulous life bring. Of course I would go along with her adding my thoughts and imaginings that made her words and dreams that much more amazing but in the back of my head I dreamed of something else. My dreams were always this… her as my wife, a life and miracle created by us, and a home to share and bask in all the love and blessings given to us. Sometimes it’s still hard to believe that this is true and real but with each smile and whisper and claiming of my heart it no longer matters if it’s real or not. As long as she remains with me and by my side I have everything that dreams and imaginings are filled with.

These last few days… I don’t have the right words to adequately describe then but my woman my wife has been on one and whatever she wanted and or craved she not only got but she consumed it. And lately the only thing she’s wanted has been me. Before work… after work… a mini break at home when I should be on my lunch break… we have been going at it nonstop like we were trying to create a sibling for Baby Junior now. I would label her insatiable but even that’s not a good enough word but then again if I label her insatiable I guess I should and could and would label myself the same cause I’m loving it just as much as Robyn. I’ve heard every story and whisper about how good pregnancy sex is but every story, whisper, and dreamed up tale don’t even come close to just how good it actually feels.

When I’m inside of her and she is wrapped around me I damn near have to hold back tears because it feels so damn good. It’s tighter and warmer and wetter and I have to fight myself not to call into work moaning and begging for time off. The only momentary break in our sexing is her refueling on whatever made up concoction she deems edible. Her love of honey mustard has her coating and covering whatever she can find and devouring it whole. She’s covered me a time or two with her honey and mustard treat and as she swallowed me whole the only thought in my head was running to Sam’s Club and buying every oversized vat offered for sale. I returned the favor a time or two and the taste of her mixes with the taste of favored condiment had my mind and head gone. We’ve been at it nonstop but tonight I want to do something a little different.

Life as we’ve been living it will all but change tomorrow. The Bajan twosome will finally arrive and our daily sexfest will obviously have to change. We’ve got it in more than enough over the last few weeks that it should hold us over for a while. But then again if either of us gets to missing the other company or not we getting it in. Robyn is so excited about her sisters finally coming that I already know that the levels of crazy will be at an all time high. The fact that she is really showing now they are going to lose their minds the second the see her and that will probably be the very moment I lose my wife for a time being. So while we still have time for the two of us I wanted to do something just for her and I came up with this scene in front of us.

“This is our last night before the Bajan twosome gets here and I just wanted to spend a little more time with my wife before they steal you away from me…”

“Baby…”

“I know we’ll still get time but I just wanted to do something for you tonight…”

“You didn’t have to…”

“I know I didn’t but I wanted to…”

Slowly smiling, “Then show me what you did…”

Taking her hand I led her further into our converted living room. Having pushed our furniture out of the way I had a full out picnic waiting for us. Gathering a few pillows I helped her to sit before revealing all her favorite foods to eat. If the mamas saw what I was feeding her and after whooping my tail I would never hear the end of how wrong and bad my choice of food was. We have another doctor’s appointment in the coming days and I’m almost already convinced Dr. Ruiz will put and end to all of her gluttonous eating so I might as well spoil her while I can.

Moments like this makes this fairy tale life we’re living that much better. From the moment we sat down we laughed and loved and basked in the onus of us. We made bets on who will notice our rings and the fact that we are more than just engaged first. The winner gets some deliciously naughty prize so at the end of it all it don’t even matter who wins or loses but instead just how fast one of us has to pay up. My money is on Melissa because quite frankly she notices, sees, and knows everything even without anyone utterly a single word but Robyn pointed out just how nosey Leandra is as well so I wouldn’t be too shocked if they blurted it out at the same time marking us both the loser and winner at the same time. Whatever the case I just need them to figure it out fast so I can find a reason for them to leave the condo and my tongue can reap it’s reward.

“You know them heffas are going to be over the top for no reason…”

“Those are your friends…”

“One of these days we have to get Mijo here at the same time Melissa is here…”

Slowly shaking my head, “We would have to disinfect the condo after…”

“They might say the same thing about us…”

“With as much juice we got spread all over this condo we’d be cleaning all day…”

“That’s cause you have me bent over every damn thing…”

“You don’t complain…”

Softly laughing, “Damn right!”

I watched her as she softly laughed at her declaration and it literally felt like my heart exploded at least a million times with emotion and love. My woman my wife… this pregnancy is changing her. More than just her body it’s changing her and I find myself falling under her spell with each and every change I see in her. I never want to turn from her and yet the more I stare the more I want to kiss and taste and consume. I want to lay under, beside, and inside her and simply drown in the feelings she brings to me.

“What are you thinking about over there?”

Softly whispering, “How beautiful you are…”

“I look amazing huh?”

“Absolutely…”

Slowly shaking her head as she fanned her hand in my direction, “Whatever…”

“Baby you don’t get it… your body…” lighting biting my bottom lip, “everything is just… you looking so damn good right now I just…”

Quickly nodding, “It’s me tits… they sit up so perky… they full but they sit up…”

“Yeah…”

“And me ass…”

Slowly licking my lips, “I know baby…”

“You sound like you like what you see…”

“Your breasts… your ass… all of you… you look so damn good I’m going to have to keep you pregnant so you can keep looking like that…”

“See now you going to damn far…”

“Maybe but I’m still going to try…”

We softly laughed together before diving back into the picnic laid out before us. I picked all of her favorite food and with each and every reveal she squealed and moved a little closer to me. Before long she was sitting in my lap, her back to my chest, as we took turns feeding each other. Moments like this I want to go on forever because I can never get enough of this or her. As she turned to me she straddled my lap as she attempted to continue feeding me. And yet with one look at her food was forgotten as another type of hunger took over.

With her legs wrapped around me I removed the last barrier between us opening her up to my touch, taste, and consumption. I think I’m obsessed with her breasts. They are so soft and full and if I could I would suckle and suck and feed at her breasts until she whispered for me to stop and even then I would keep going. Our baby isn’t even here yet and I’m already jealous that he will be get to experience this daily. It’s more than just than just licking and sucking at her breasts sexually but the intimacy of the act… the closeness it gives us… I want and need that feeling constantly even with baby soon here.

I know I’ve gone on and on about how tight and warm she felt wrapped around me being everything but I think it’s her whispers and moans and breathy calls of my name when we are pressed together gets to me more. Our chests were pressed up against each other as my hands clamped around her hips I held her to me as I continually moved in and out of her. And with each whisper, whimper, and moan I found myself coming undone. Call me soft or whatever you want but I’m damn near fighting back tears and yet I don’t want this moment or these feelings to stop. I feel her hand gently wiping away the wetness on my face and I whispered out to her begging for her to put me out of my misery.

My baby… my lady… my wife gathered me in her arms as she slowly rode me matching each pump, thrust, and move with me. Her kiss covering mine I moaned out her name as nirvana and bliss finally came to me. We stayed wrapped around each other in the middle of the living room in our naked splendor for the rest of the night touching, kissing, and breathlessly showing and telling each other the love we had for each other.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@@@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’m not sure how I even made it here yet alone early enough to pick them up on time. The Bajan twosome should be departing the plane and terminal at any second now and if I’m completely honest I don’t even want to be here. Robyn said some foolishness about her getting too big to continue our lovemaking and I had to show her more than once what I thought about that nonsense. I showed her once more before we were supposed to leave and head to Metro Airport to pick up Leandra and Mel and that wiped any possibility of her coming with me to get them. Her back pushed back and I left her at home angry yet recuperating. I’m all but wiped out but somebody had to come and get them. As soon as I get home and despite the rudeness of it all my bed is calling and I’m going to answer it. It’s not like I’m going to be missed… them three together gossiping and catching up… I doubt my absence will even be noticed. It’s taking everything in me not to stand her and fall asleep as it is but the second I heard their voices sleep and it’s welcoming embrace is all but forgotten.

Yelling as they neared me, “Godmammas take over!”

“Says who?”

“Yo baby mama…”

Laughing as I quickly hugged Leandra, “She lied to you…”

“We’ll see…”

“Where she hiding?”

Smiling as I hugged Melissa next, “At home pissed off…”

“What’s wrong with she?”

“Baby Junior decided to show who was in charge when we were about to leave. Even with her back flaring she still tried to come so I told her no and that she couldn’t come and I left her pissed on the couch as I left…”

Softly laughing as she shook her head, “She gon cuss you…”

“I heard it all the way here…”

“Don’t matter… you don’t tell a pregnant woman what she can and can’t do…”

“But her back…”

Shaking her head, “Don’t matter…”

“Give her something to forget about being angry…”

Pouting as I quickly looked at Leandra, “That’s what messed her back up…”

With their laughter filling the air we made our way to the baggage claim area laughing and joking until their multiple bags were collected. They brought enough shit to outlast the mamas stay by months and I instantly started thinking and setting up possible places they could stay if Robyn wanted them out too. They might fare a little better than the mamas but if they in anyway try to limit something she wants they will be as good as gone too.

The car ride home filled with them telling me all the good gossip before Robyn it hit me just how much they mean to me. I remember the first time Robyn took me home with her. They inspected and questioned and checked me out so hard I didn’t know what to do with myself. I was so sure I said the wrong thing and they didn’t like or care for me which in my mixed up head Robyn wouldn’t either. Robyn told me over and over that that wasn’t the case but I was convinced they were going to take me to some hidden cove on the beach and all but tell me that my friendship with Robyn was over. Every time it seemed like they could remotely corner me for anything I ran to Robyn and practically glued myself to her side. I was working with a 15 year old brain with 15 year old insecurities and the thought of Robyn not being in my life even then was terrifying. My actions were crazy but I did what I had to do to keep those threats and warnings from happening but they still got me.

I swear in my mind I had every reason why me and Robyn being and remaining friends was important but my every argument wasn’t even needed because the whole get Chris alone plan was more about them thanking me for being a friend and protector of Robyn. I made some friendship vow but I think even then they knew that my ‘friendship’ was really love. As the years went by they very vocally suggested that I take my feelings of friendship to something more but I played if off like that’s not what I wanted. During the Damon days they stayed on my phone with no so subtle suggestions about how my “friendship” could save Robyn from him. Leandra suggestions tended to be on the lewd side and Melissa’s weren’t that far behind but they definitely rooted for us to be more than what we were. Like Mijo and Taryn they became our cheering squad so when we finally happened I don’t know who was happier… Robyn, me, or them. I can’t imagine them not being a part of us or our life and now that they are here I think I’m going to fight just as hard as Robyn to keep them here. If I could call and entice Mijo to come this way as well I would but he’s saddled with that slow country life and babies and I would never take him away from them.

I’m happy the Bajan twosome is here but I also know their presence will change some things and I’m ok with it. Robyn will never say it but I know she’s craving other folks beside me fawning and doting over her growing stomach. There’s only so much they can see and do via facetime so to have them here in the flesh will mean everything to her. I’m now outnumbered and outbajan’d on everything but I’m ok with it hell I welcome it. As long as my woman… my life… my wife is happy so too am I.

“Baby mama we here!”

“Get your chunky ass out here and greet us…”

Softly laughing, “You wrong…”

“You know you want to see her waddle out here and try to cuss somebody out…”

Softly whispering as she entered the room, “I don’t waddle…”

Their reaction instant Melissa and Leandra rushed to Robyn screaming and hugging and touching her stomach as they yelled congratulations over and over again. The sight of the three of them in a baby lovefest was enough to make any thought of nap or quick sleep go away. As much as I was ready to claim sleep there was no way in hell I would willingly miss this. Robyn was smiling and beaming and with every touch of her stomach she floated just a little bit higher and I smiled and beamed along with her.

“So y’all really went and did it huh?”

“That’s all her…”

“She didn’t get herself pregnant fool…”

“Oh yeah…” softly laughing, “I did have a part in that…”

“A big part…”

Slowly smiling as I caught her innuendo, “Alright now…”

“Y’all can stop that shit now… ain’t nobody come all this way to hear y’all talking freaky to each other…”

Quickly licking her tongue out at Leandra, “Don’t listen then…”

“How many big headed babies you got in there?”

“Umm one…”

“Are you sure?”

“Don’t you think I would know by this point Leandra?”

“Yeah you should it’s just…”

Softly whispering, “What?”

“Yo ass is huge… I wasn’t playing when I said your ass was waddling. If you this big now I can’t even imagine you when it’s time to pop that big headed baby out ya puss…”

Every sound in the room literally stopped as we all turned and looked at Leandra. To me Robyn isn’t even that big so for all those words and questions to come flying from her makes no sense. And yet before anyone could even begin to formulate a question barrage Robyn burst into tears that left me frozen as on what to do. She had the crazy food cravings and sexual overdrive but up until that moment we haven’t had to deal with sudden, over and extreme emotions and I didn’t know what to do.

I attempted to go to her to console her but she quickly pushed me from her as she ran from the room in tears. I turned to Leandra ready to go off but before I could put sound to word Melissa was verbally taking care of Leandra in ways and words I couldn’t even begin to say to her. She was apologizing and explaining all to Melissa as if she were the one she uttered those words to. Going in search of Robyn I found her sitting in the middle of our walk in closet with tears still falling down her face.

Softly whispering as I kneeled down beside her, “Baby…”

“I told you I was too fat…”

Slowly shaking my head, “You’re not fat… you’re pregnant…”

“What’s the difference? Leandra saw it… Leandra told me de truth…”

“No she didn’t… she told you some nonsense you wanted to believe and you let get in your head…”

Quickly pouting, “So now I’m fat and crazy?”

“You’re not either one…”

“You can tell me de truth… I can handle it and I won’t cry anymore…”

Gently wiping at her tears, “Yes you will but I’m going to tell you anyway…”

“Chris…”

“Baby…”

“Just tell me de truth and get it over with…”

Softly whispering, “I remember the exact moment I asked you to have my baby. We were at the top of the Empire State Building and I don’t know why but in that one moment I knew I was ready. I was nervous as hell but then you said yes and I knew I was the luckiest man alive. Not just because I was about get it in and get it done and create a baby but because that baby would be with you…”

“That doesn’t mean I’m beautiful…”

“You’re beautiful because you already loved our baby before it was ever created. You’re beautiful because I remember the first few moments after we found out he was real… while I was losing my shit you hand on your stomach and whispered to how baby how much you loved, wanted, and couldn’t wait to hug, kiss, and take care of him. You knew it was a boy even before Dr. Ruiz told us. You whispered ‘I love you son’ and that was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen or heard…”

Softly whispering, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because every time I look at you and watch you when you don’t think or realize I’m watching you have more moments more beautiful than the last…”

“That’s nice but Leandra said…”

Shaking my head, “You’re beautiful and sexy and if they weren’t here I would lay you out in the middle of this damn closet and show you what I think about the mess coming out of your mouth right now…”

“You have to say that…”

Slowly shaking my head, “No I don’t… I say it because it’s true…”

“If it’s true why would Leandra…”

“Because Leandra was being Leandra and she probably thought you would come back at her and cuss her one good time and tell her what you really thought about the mess she was saying…”

“I should go cuss her cunt ass out right now…”

“Melissa did it for you…”

Quickly shaking her head, “Oh hell no… I’m ‘bout to tell that wide back heffa about herself… she got a lot of damn nerve saying somebody else is waddling… I got a whole ass human growing inside of me… what’s her damn excuse?”

“You have to ask her baby…”

“I’m going to ask and tell her about herself all at the same time…”

“Before you do I want you to do something for me…”

“What?”

“No matter who says what don’t ever think you are anything less than beautiful. You’re having our baby and nothing and no size will ever make you unbeautiful to me…”

Quickly wiping at sudden tears, “You always say the right things…”

“That’s my jobs as your husband. If I ever attempt not to slap me upside my head and get me right…”

Softly laughing, “If I have to slap you yo ass really getting it…”

“Then I betta make sure I don’t forget…” slowly extending my hand, “come on…”

Her hand in mine I helped her from the floor and slowly made our way towards the living room, And yet before Robyn could utter a single word telling her friend about herself Leandra was all over her hugging and kissing and apologizing for her words. Whatever Melissa said to her zapped every rude and catty word from Leandra and for a second or two I didn’t even know the chick standing in front of us. Her I’m sorrys were so good Robyn forgot to cuss her back and tell her what she thought of the initial things Leandra said to her. After making sure Robyn was completely satisfied with her apologies it was almost like no bad words had ever been said and Robyn’s crying outburst never happened.

After ordering me go out and gather them something good to eat I came back to a gossipfest about all things Bridgetown. Thank goodness I heard all the good shit on the way coming here or I would have been pissed that I missed any of the tell all. Bellies stuffed Robyn sat back beside me as Mel and Lee produced gifts and packages from home which put Robyn other rollercoaster of emotions. Somehow I calmed and soothed Robyn down but I was clueless on what to do when Melissa and Leandra fell out after we invited them to our coming doctor’s appointment. The thought and possibility of hearing their coming godchild’s heartbeat in person had them in puddles of tears.

I don’t know what made me think I was strong enough to deal with three overly emotional bajan women but I said I quick prayer and attempted to change tears to something else. Asking them next to join us on our house search it was my turn to get caught up in emotions. For them to be a part of us making this next big step and decision had me stuttering and wiping away tears I didn’t even know would come. We’re all going to be a mess by the time everything is said and done and as crazy as it is I wouldn’t want it

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The four of us at the doctor’s office was a mess and half. Somewhere in the middle of the night something clicked and by the time we got to the doctor’s office something settled in and it was like Melissa became a mama clone peppering Dr. Ruiz with question after question about Robyn’s pregnancy, health, diet, and everything in between. Dr. Ruiz answered every question thrown her way with a smile except the sex of our coming miracle because she knew we wanted to keep it a secret until our gender reveal party. While Melissa damn near overwhelmed her with question after question surprisingly Leandra sat off in a corner whimpering and sniffling in anticipation of the moment. And yet as the gel and scope was placed on her stomach their roles switched and Leandra became the questioner while Melissa lost it. The steady thumping of Baby Junior’s heartbeat music to their ears his godmothers happily and loudly danced around the room in celebration. By the time the appointment was over Dr. Ruiz was a part of the antics cutting it up with Melissa and Leandra. Robyn laughed the whole time at her friends and the constant changing personas. Her happiness and laughter made her even more beautiful to me and I wanted to go to her covering her with kiss after kiss until she understood and believed in her amazingness as much I do. The Bajan twosome tried everything they could think of to get the sex of our baby out of Dr. Ruiz but they couldn’t break her and finally accepted that they would have to wait. Something tells me they haven’t completely given up trying to find out but we will see.

That night a repeat of the night before Melissa and Leandra pulled out even more gossip and gifts from home as they stuffed their faces with honey mustard goodness. I guess the best part about them being here is their love for all things honey mustard matches Robyn. They whipped out some ungodly concoction brought from home that they somehow snuck by customs and the smell of it mixed with honey mustard damn near knocked me out. They sat huddled together snickering about Sonita and whatever dude she was trying to sneak with. He obviously didn’t meet their standards so they were had Robyn doubled over in laughter as they explained everyway he was wrong for their friend. From his lack of funds to brown chipped teeth… they went in so much so I almost felt sorry for the brother. But while they cackled I was thankfully able to fall into bed and catch up on some much needed sleep. Finally feeling her arms wrap around me once their talk and gossip session was over I pulled her closer still to me ready for tomorrow and our house hunting adventure.

I don’t even have the words to describe Melissa, Leandra, Robyn, and Gabby together but I literally had to put them all on a timeout with all the cutting up they were doing. I don’t know what it is but the combination of the Melissa, Leandra, and Robyn together changes even the most level headed folks and have them fooling and cutting it up with them. If I’m honest I saw hints of this cut up the last time we went house hunting but throw in Melissa and Leandra and a completely bajan’d up Robyn and it’s a done deal. In between acting like plum fools Gabby showed us some really amazing homes that will have my bank account and wallet hurting for years. Robyn loved them all but even with her love I knew we hadn’t found the one meant for us. Somewhere in between showing us houses and cutting up Gabby started speaking in patois and throwing out island talk that had my head spinning and the bajan contingent cutting up even more. Somehow this cut up morphed into an impromptu “Mel and Lee Are In Detroit So Let’s Party” party. Gabby, Taryn, and the rest of the turn up crew was called and by the time we left the last house everything was all but set up. Promising to find Mel and Lee some dudes while finding us our forever home Gabby hugged us all goodbye until the party happened. Robyn and the rest of the ratchets fell asleep on the ride back to the condo and I said a silent prayer of thanks… the craziness and cuts up… for everything placed in our lives.

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“You’re not cutting it right and you need to add more flavor or it won’t taste right…”

Robyn has been barking orders from the moment we woke up and if her stomach wasn’t as round as it was it would be next to impossible to keep Leandra away and off of her. But her pregnant belly kept Leandra from saying and responding how she wanted to. We’re trying to get everything together for our little thrown together party. Robyn volunteered her culinary skills but before she could gather a single spice or flavor to throw in her back all but cancelled her plans reducing her to barking orders from the couch. She volunteered Leandra to take over and has been on her since. Leandra is an amazing cook as well so Robyn hovering and dictating her every move isn’t even needed but none of us even attempted to tell her. I offered to simply go out and buy up something for folks to eat later but Robyn shot down that idea in between yelling and directing Leandra in this meal she wanted to her to create.

Mel and I thought we were in the clear and could slack off on our cleaning and rearranging of furniture but the task master caught us and yelled until we jumped up to complete whatever command she shouted in our direction. This is another side I’ve seen of her and I don’t know if I want this side staying after pregnancy and baby is gone. I looked a tad bit closer and it was obvious she was enjoying all her yelling and fussing a little too much and by the looks on both Mel and Lee’s faces pretty much said pregnant or not somebody was about to get it. Once again seeing an occasional smirk on Robyn’s face I’m not too sure if her whole aching back and yellfest was even needed.

Swooping in as one last look from Leandra screamed she was done with Robyn and her taunts, demands, corrections, and attitude I guided her into our room hoping to convince her to calm her antics down. I thought I could somehow convince her to lighten up on whatever she called herself doing in the other room. And yet before I could even form words or thoughts Robyn’s laughter as she fell out on our bed stopped me.

“What the…”

Covering her mouth as she continued to laugh, “Her ass in there pissed the hell off…”

“So you doing that shit on purpose?”

“I bet that heffa will think twice before she call me a hog again…

“You petty…” slowly shaking my head, “and she did not call you a hog…”

“She might as well… but I’m going to show her how a hog make her work and then eat all her food she make…”

“And me and Mel?”

“You and her too busy cackling… if I can yell at Lee and I can yell at the both of you too…”

“Is your back even hurting?”

Softly whispering, “It was…”

“But it’s not now huh? That’s low Robyn…’

Pouting as she stared back at me, “I wanted her to know how it feel… I wanted her to work hard and have to bite her tongue and not say nothing back cause she know I cry…”

“You already yelled at her for what she said when she first got here… y’all hugged it out and said it was over and that was supposed to be the end of it. You know how I am when it comes to you in any kind of pain… you faking back pain trying to get back at her is wrong and you know it…”

“I’m sorry…”

“Not gon cut it this time… I’m moving furniture and shit worried about your back and wondering if I should just shut the whole damn thing down…”

“Why would you do that?”

“Because when it comes to you and how you are feeling is the only thing that matters. I was ready to say screw the party and do what I had to do to make you feel better but you were in there faking the whole thing…”

“I just wanted her to feel…”

Shaking my head as I interrupted her, “What about me? How was I supposed to feel?”

“Baby…”

Slowly shaking my head once again, “Not this time…”

I’m not mad at her but I’m mad at her if that makes any sense. In between jumping at her every command I honestly contemplated cancelling the whole thing until she felt better and could enjoy the party too. And to now know that she was sitting there faking pain and discomfort as a way to get back at her friend for comments she said no longer mattered has me feeling some kind of way. I’m fighting not being angry but it ain't that damn easy. Her pouting is not really helping and it’s probably best I leave our room before my attitude permanently stays this way and any attempt at a good time later is all but gone. Turning to walk away I’m stilled as her arms suddenly wrapped around me from behind. I don’t like yelling, disagreeing, or having to get on her about anything but that whole fake out display wasn’t cool. Not only that I thought everything between them was squashed after they hugged and cried it out.

“Baby I’m sorry…”

“Robyn…”

“I didn’t mean to make you mad…”

“Why do it at all?”

“She pissed me off and…”

“And you said you were over it…”

“I was but…”

“They are going to be here for weeks… you pulling and doing petty shit like this ain't cool…”

Softly whispering, “Don’t be made at me please…”

“I’m not mad…” slowly shaking my head, “just disappointed…”

My words perhaps too much her water works instantly started soaking the back of my shirt as she buried her face in my back. It wasn’t my intent to make her cry or feel guilty about what she was doing. In truth I just wanted to get her away from her irritated friend and the words she was about to hear from her. My head is already in a tailspin with her rapidly changing emotions and this whole shifting emotion phase has just started. I can’t and won’t let her cry and I turn to her taking her in my arms soothing her as best I can.

Softly whispering, “Disappointed was the wrong word… it’s just… baby they are here for you and to help you through these coming months and for you to treat them like that over nothing ain’t cool… but I’m over it… I know you won’t do it again… stop crying and we can go back out there and finish getting ready for this party and…”

My words were cut off as her mouth covered mine in a sudden kiss. My response of course instant and everything we were talking about forgotten. I want her so damn bad but now is not the right time to even begin to get into what I want to do to her. We have friends coming over soon and we still have to finish the cleaning and cooking for this party. The slow move of her tongue against mine made all my objections less and less important the longer our kiss went on. Her hand slowly brushing against the front of my pants all thought left me and it was just us doing what we do best.

My back against the bed I watched as Robyn hovered over me lightly biting her bottom lip as she slowly eased down on me. I’m fighting with everything in me to keep my eyes from rolling in the back of my head from how good she feels. She feels… I can’t even wrap my mind around the words to use to describe her and this but watching her in this moment is even better. I watch her and lose myself as she gets off with each move and thrusts and grind of her hips. Her mouth fell open as a soft moan tumbled out as I quickly joined her in movement. We can’t be too loud but damn it her in control of me feels so damn good I’m not sure how I can keep this enjoyment to myself.

My hands now on her I slowly move up her body until her breasts are covered with my touch. I know I’ve said it at least a million times and I will say it a million more but her body is perfect. I watch in fascination as her nipples harden with each twist and flick of my fingers. Pulling her forward I fit a nipple in my mouth damn near spazzing as I moved and rolled my tongue over her tight little nub. Feasting on her flesh my hands move again until my hands are placed firmly on her ass aiding her in moving on and off of me. This is borderline wrong but we’re moaning and whispering and whimpering and the thought of anything else has left us.

Positioned behind her as we lay on our sides I locked my hand at her waist as I slowly eased inside of her. Her leg placed over mine I moved in deeper still losing myself on the soft call of my name. We didn’t come in here for this but damn it we’re here now and it felt too damn good to even consider stopping. We’re moving together calling out who belongs to who not caring if we’re heard, ready for the coming party, or anything else. Her hand on top of mine Robyn guided our fingers and touch to the center of her. And with our fingers still intertwined we worked and rubbed at her clit until she cried out. She shifted and turned until my mouth could cover hers and we kissed and moved until we both could cry out together.

Softly whispering, “I’m sorry baby…”

“It’s ok…”

“I promise I’ll act better…”

Slowly nodding my head, “Just don’t scare me like that again. If you want to give Leandra hell give her hell but don’t lie like something wrong with you…”

“I won’t…”

Softly whispering as I gently kissed her warm skin, “I don’t want to get out of bed…”

“I know but…”

“We gon get them folks in and out of her fast so we can come back to this…”

Quickly nodding, “I like that plan…”

Sharing a tender kiss I helped her from bed carrying her into our bathroom to shower away the evidence of what we just did away. We dirtied it up a little bit under the stream of water but a soapy washcloth was within reach by the time we were done. Quickly dressing I kissed her once again before I went to help Melissa and Leandra with the remaining set up for the party. When she finally made it out of the bedroom her whole attitude and interaction with Leandra was different and I couldn’t stop the smile that covered my face as Melissa softly spoke beside me.

“Y’all just couldn’t wait huh?”

Slowly shaking my head as a smile spread across my face, “Blame your friend for that one…”

“You could have stopped her if you wanted…”

“The hell I could… shit you should be thanking me…”

“For the hell for?”

“Calming her ass down…”

Fanning her hand in my direction, “Her ass was faking anyway…”

“How you figure…”

“She was smirking and laughing too much after everything she said to Leandra…”

“Does Leandra know…”

“Of course not… that’s why she kept doing everything she told her to do…”

“She need to pay attention then cause Robyn will more than likely try that shit again…”

“Speaking of paying attention… don’t think I ain't noticed them damn rings…”

Softly whispering, “Huh?”

“I’m going to act like I ain't seen shit but just know I saw them…”

Slowly shrugging, “Well we not really trying to hide them…”

“Just make sure I’m there whenever y’all decide to tell the mamas…”

“You might be our only form of protection when we do…”

Shaking her head, “No the hell I won’t be… y’all did that on y’all own…”

“But I thought…”

“You thought wrong…” softly laughing at my expression, “how was it though?”

“It was everything…”

“I should probably be mad…”

Slowly shaking my head, “If you are be mad at me. I surprised her after we found out the baby’s gender. I wanted her and our baby to have my last name when they are born so I asked her to marry me again and when she said yes I told her I wanted to do it that day. I had been planning it out in my head just in case she yes and when she did I called in every favor I could to make it happen…”

“Aww…”

“The first thing she mentioned was about not having you and Lee and her family there but I promised her another big splashy over the top wedding day for whenever she’s ready…”

Softly sighing, “I wish I could have at least seen her… I just know she looked beautiful…”

“We have some wedding photos floating around. The hotel called in a favor or two of their own and a photographer got shots of the ceremony and our first dance without us even knowing. They came in the mail and shocked us both…”

“I gotta see them…”

“See what?”

Shaking her at Leandra, “How big a mess you gon be tonight…”

“You know once I get a taste of some liquor it’s over…”

“Then I pray you don’t drink shit tonight… can’t have you embarrassing us our first night here…”

Fanning her off as she rushed back to a yelling Robyn’s side, “Whatever heffa…”

Shaking my head as Melissa rushed to Robyn’s side as she bellowed for her as well I silently wondered what exactly was in store for us tonight. I’m not too shocked Melissa busted us as quickly as she did. Like I said we haven’t done anything to hide the fact that we are married. Our rings decorate our fingers so all it should is one good look and the truth of what we are to each other is told. I’m surprised though that Melissa didn’t tell Leandra what we were talking about. If Melissa peeped our rings surely Leandra has as well. But then again she hasn’t said anything and I’ve never know Leandra to stay silent about anything so maybe just maybe thanks to all of Robyn and her antics she hasn’t paid attention. Whatever the case it won’t be long before she knows the truth as well and I already know she’s going to be over the top when that time comes.

My thoughts momentarily go to that day our wedding photos came. Robyn wasn’t necessarily feeling her best so I was holding her in my arms gently caressing her stomach as I whispered to Baby Junior to be nice to his mother. We had plans to meet up with Thomas and his wife but at first hint of Robyn not feeling well we called and cancelled. They were more than understanding considering they have a whole flock of kids themselves. We promised another time and then cuddled together on the couch talking and whispering our plans when she finally started to feel better. We got a knock at our front door and by the time we answered we were only left with a big bow shaped box. Phillip attached a hand written note thanking us for using the hotel for our wedding and congratulating us once again. We were still confused about the wrapped gift until we opened it. Seeing each photo brought tears to both of our eyes as we picked which one we liked the best. We immediately sent it off to be blown up and stretched across a canvas for us to display. When we put that picture up there is will be no denying what we are to each other and despite the yells and complains I am sure will come our way I honestly can’t wait to see everyone’s reaction when the truth is revealed.

As her arms slowly wrapped around me from behind the guests for our impromptu party started to arrive. The usuals from Echo arrived and promptly fell over themselves when they saw Leandra and Melissa smiling back at them. I should feel some kind of way seeing I never got that kind or reaction of ot them but the wandering of Robyn’s hands sorta had me distracted. She’s playing a dangerous game and I can show her better than telling her I’m more than ready to not only play but one up her in whatever she’s trying to do. The Echo crew reaction was mild compared to Leandra and Melissa’s when Gabby showed up with a few extra ‘friends’ in tow. I’m not sure where she found these dudes but the second the walked in the door with her Leandra and Melissa were practically puddles on the floor as Gabby introduced them to the crew. They seem like good dudes which is what’s most important but seeing the Bajan twosome losing their shit over some unknowns is something I will never forget.

Everything was chill as plates were piled high and conversation danced around the room. One of Gabby’s friends had Melissa cooped up in the corner and I was almost tempted to call my brother and warn him he was losing his girl before he ever truly got her but I learned a long time ago to stay out their business so I kept my phone away and let Melissa do Melissa. Our little get together was everything we wanted it to be and then Taryn arrived. Like always she came in on a whirlwind of movement, noise, color, laughter, and attitude. She was loud and over the top without really truly trying and she changed the whole of our little get together. Plates got put away and the music got turned up and it was like we were at Club Chroybn and the party was in full effect. Everything was everything and we couldn’t ask for a better friends to party it up with.

The only head scratcher of the night was when Gabby and Taryn were formally introduced. Knowing the both of them I just knew they would make perfect friends because their personalities are so similar. As Robyn started to introduce them Gabby mentioned that she already knew Taryn but for whatever reason Taryn claimed over and over that they never met and didn’t know each other. Confusion was clearly on everyone’s faces and it took Leandra to get the party back on track. Pulling her new friend to the middle of the room Leandra yelled for the music to be blasted as she danced up on him. Homie looked like he was close to jizzing over every surface the more Leandra worked her hips on him. I damn near had to snatch my little Bajan terror back when her song came on. She started out showing Gabby a move or two and then next thing I knew she was in the middle of the floor showing everyone exactly how it should she done. I’m sure the expression on my face was worse than Leandra’s victim but that’s my wife and I still remember what we done a few hours earlier. She caught my gaze and the smirk that covered her face all but told me she was remembering as well.

After a slow dance full of whispered words and promises of things to come later we collapsed to our couch content to watch the craziness around us. Despite the confusion from earlier Gabby, Taryn, Melissa, and Leandra had the party jumping and I was convinced it would go on all night. Leandra’s plaything from earlier seemingly tapped out after that first dance and was nursing several drinks in the corner with his friends. Her hand in mine as her head rested on my shoulder Robyn and I were in our own little world both enjoying the moment but silently wishing all of our guest found a new place to continue partying it up.

It seems someone up there heard our prayers and one by one the Mel and Lee Are In Detroit So Let’s Party party started losing it’s partygoers. That didn’t stop the Deadly Foursome from continuing to cut up as loud laughter and less than lady like words were shouted back and forth to one another. They all got on Leandra’s seemingly shell shocked dance partner and I did everything I could think of to keep from laughing at dude. Leandra asked for another dance and he damn near ran from the condo no where ready to deal with her or whatever else she wanted to put on him. Laughter again flew around the room as Gabby yelled out that she did not know the fool even though he came to the party with her.

I caught the end of a whisper from Robyn that had me standing up ready to tell everyone remaining to get the hell out. Thankfully it never came to that because as I stood the rest of the party goers decided it was time to leave. Huddled together the conversation between Lee, Mel, Gabby, and Taryn intensified and before Robyn could ask them what the huddle was about Leandra and Melissa turned to us informing us that they too were headed out and they would be back sometime tomorrow morning. They made us promise to not even attempt to wash a single dish or arrange the furniture back to how it should be. This party was their idea so they should be the one cleaning behind it and straightening things back to how they should be.

As Robyn waved to all from the couch I quickly stood hugging and thanking each one of them as they turned to leave. If this is how it’s going to be the whole time Melissa and Leandra is here in town we need to hurry up and get that house because I’m sure one more blow out party like this the condo board will be ready to put us out. Locking and securing the door after they left I turned to Robyn ready for every nasty promise she whispered to me. Unfortunately for me when I turned back to her sleep had already claimed her and every unbelievably nasty I was planning on doing to her would have to wait until she was awake enough to fake tell me to stop.

Gathering her in my arm I damn near took off in a full out sprint as I felt her kiss on my neck. My baby wasn’t exactly sleep and she remembered exactly what she promised me. By the time we made it to our room whatever clothes we had on were as good as gone. Gently laying her on the bed I stepped back as I drank in the sight of her. I can’t stop my smile and my chest sticking out a little more. All of that is mine and I get to drink, taste, devour, and experience her for the rest of my days. Hearing her soft whispers I slowly nodded my head ready to do the things she commanded. Whispering back to her I fell to my knees as her legs slowly open for me.

Fashioning her legs over my shoulders I tenderly trailed tiny kissed up her skin alternating between each leg until I came to the place I wanted to be most. Placing an open mouth kiss at the center of her I extended my tongue softly moaning at the taste of her. The breathy call of my name music to my ears time was forgotten and for the rest of the night we spent wrapped around each other kissing, licking, and devouring each other. Melissa and Leandra didn’t exactly make it back the following morning and as she slowly rode me it didn’t even matter. The only thing that mattered was her and us and this. Sitting up I pulled her into me needing her skin against mine as bliss claimed us. Finally collapsing against the bed I held her in my arms until the loudness returned with their stories and tales from their night, morning, and day away from us. We sat cuddled on the couch listening and laughing with each new story in between whispering what we wanted to attempt later.

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