#I just don't have Joonas to ground me after too much emotions. And I have to keep working after music moment

[milirii]

Hello! I am going to work tomorrow (in nursing home) and decided to re-memories some of the songs I used to play and sing when I was working there last summer. The music brought me very strong memory of one summer evening when I was singing and literally everyone, including my working pair, just stopped to listen and even those elders who could be a little aggresive or unresponsive were listening and just.. Being present in the moment. (they all have severe alzheimer so.. That was huge thing)

Anyway, I needed to write, but this turned out to be a little too personal to put on ao3. I still wanted to share it so this is going to be here. This isn't even making much sense. I just... Wrote down things. I hope you still enjoy 💚💚. Good night everyone 💕

He had visited the nursing home, where Olli worked, a couple of times in a month almost half a year now and brought some entertainment with him. The man and guitar- performances had been greatly appreciated amongst the most talkative elderlies and Joonas wanted to believe that more quiet ones enjoyed it too. But never has he seen this kind of variation of emotions woken up in his audience. And it was thanks to Niko, who he had dragged this time with him, and Niko’s piano skills and absolutely angelic voice.

Joonas watched with a small smirk when Olli gabed at the sight in front of his eyes. To be honest, he was in awe too, but also too amused to not enjoy Olli’s bewilderment.

Olli came to stand next to Joonas and continued to quietly observe the scenery in front of them. “This is amazing. I haven’t seen her coming out of her room voluntarily in weeks.” Olli whispered and nodded towards an old lady who had sat herself near the piano to listen.

The last verse of Karjalan kunnailla subsided and the sound of the piano died down. Niko reached his water bottle and frowned at it when he found it empty. When careful applause started to fill the empty space the music had left, he turned on his piano seat and smiled at his audience. Joonas’ heart got warmer when he saw the other old man getting up on his seat and walking slowly to Niko to shake his hand as a thank you. Joonas' eyes got almost teary when Niko leaned over to the woman who had forgotten how to speak, but reached to tap Niko’s hand gently and looked at him with clear eyes. Niko seemed to be close to tears as well so Joonas decided to go and rescue his boyfriend from affectionate elders.

“And did you see him dancing when Niko played Heili Karjalasta? He bowed at the other nurse and then they danced around. It was adorable.” Joonas whispered back, pointing subtly. Olli’s eyes got round and his head turned to watch at the man in question, now sitting and humming along.

“There is going to be coffee soon, so maybe you should go and seek a place to sit down.” Joonas raised his voice to speak at the people surrounding Niko and it had the desired effect as the crowd started to scatter around the common room. Only the silent old woman still held Niko’s hand in a tight grip and Niko stroked her hand with gentle movement. Niko seemed totally unarmed and unable to let go so Joonas waved at Olli to come and detach them. When Niko was freed he attached himself right in Joonas’ side and buried his face on the crook of Joonas’ neck.

“This is too much, this is too much..” Niko mumbled. Joonas scratched Niko’s scalp and led them to a more private corner of the room. He understood. First time had been intense for him too and Niko had gotten reactions out of even those who could be easily considered as a passive and not-quite-there-anymore kind of persons. It was raw and honest and it could be overwhelming. So Joonas just let Niko take his time to calm down and get hold of his emotions before addressing the warm tears that were dampening his shirt.

“Love? Are you okay?”

Niko nodded against Joonas’ shoulder and shifted to rest his forehead against it. Long sigh reached Joonas’ ears. He poked Niko’s head with his nose.

“Tell me what you are thinking.”

“I just wasn’t expecting this. I don’t know what I was expecting. I… This is the most honest feedback I have ever received and…” Niko drew a deep breath “They seemed happy. I don't know why I am crying.” Wet chuckle escaped Niko’s lips and he finally turned his green eyes to look at Joonas.

"They were happy. You brought them memories and something good and beautiful in this moment. They appreciate it." Joonas wiped some of Niko's tears away.

"I didn't expect this to be this powerful. I… They deserve to have good things." Niko whispered. "I want to play again."

"I'll be happy to take you with me next time as well." Joonas smiled and pressed a little kiss on the side of Niko's head.