#I hope this isn't too confusing to follow. I kinda wanna have gaps that the readers can fill/or that I can expand later on

[xalonelydreamerx]

Heey!! Sorry to bother u, but I was rereading Lítost for maybe the sixth time and just wanted to ask if u could give us a little snippet of the next chapter?? Pls? I've read it for the first time soon after it was posted, and I just love how in-character all your characters are. Sending love!!

you've read it so many times? 🥺 I'm seriously not worthy of you. thank you so so much for your patience! I can imagine how frustrating it must be having waited that long and I'm so greatful that you and the people who have contacted me are so nice about it ♥

As for the snippet, chapter 2 opens with a (admittedly long) flashback that gives us an insight to the late dynamic Obi-Wan/Padme/Anakin had.

I went a bit back and forth whether the snippet should be from present moment but I think that part needs more editing so I hope you'll be happy with the opening flashback instead 🫶

Master Yoda truly knew how to deliver a punishment when he wanted to. Obi-Wan thought dryly as his eyes took in the people who were slowly arriving. The sounds of cheers, and claps and clicks could still be heard from the reporters outside, who were waiting like hawks did their pray to capture the perfect and the worst shots of the guests.

Master Yoda had had called it a simple request; “Fond of you are many Senators. With a familiar face content more they will feel.”

He had no choice but to accept and guard the multiple politicians that were to attend the gala and ensure their safety. Obi-Wan wasn’t a big fan of the unnecessary glamour or the spotlight. He was a Jedi, he didn’t belong here. There was next to nothing he could do however, especially after the stun Anakin had pulled.

Padme had been trying to comm him restlessly the past few days. To apologize, he presumed. Regardless of the inevitable talk they were bound to have eventually, he still felt hurt at her actions; for going behind his back, against her own word to tell Anakin of the secret mission the council had assigned him. What a fool he had been; to entrust her with his doubts, with his fears. Just because he had warmed their bed a couple of times, didn’t mean she would have his back. Padme and Anakin would always choose each other in the end and for the first time he wondered when he had stopped being an option for Anakin.

When had they stopped being a team?

A hand clasped his right shoulder firmly, “Where does your mind travelling, my friend?”

He sighed before he took another sip of the drink the senator had recommended him. He grimaced at the spicy flavour; he was more keen on the sugary side.

“To be frank, I’m just thinking how wasteful my presence is.”

Bail didn’t take his comment unkindly. He laughed easily and shook his head in a feign disappointment. “Wasteful? You already left quite a good impression on one of my friends.”

He raised his glass to toast at someone and Obi-Wan followed his gaze, which lead to Senator Danu. Yes, the Senator had an interesting viewpoint of the Kuat's shipyards, but seemed too concern about the guests who had yet to arrive. He, too, found a Jedi’s presence unnecessary - he was supposed to be fighting a war, not spend his night with the high social class of Coruscant but how could Obi-Wan explain that his attendance was more of a punishment than a service? “An interesting man indeed.”

“Your ability to blend among us must be a curse.” Bail teased him between his giggles and Obi-Wan wondered whether his had snatched an extra glass under his unsupervised eye.

“I wouldn’t call it a curse. More of an unwanted gift.”

“Ahhh, I’m certain you’ll endure.” He nodded, giving him another pat on his shoulder as his face brightened at the sight of another quest who entered. Obi-Wan couldn’t see him clearly as the people started filling in the room but Bail seemed to sober up rather quickly as he finished his remaining drink and left it on the table. “If you excuse me I have another friend to catch up. This is a night off for you Obi-Wan, try to relax.”

He watched silently as Bail walked across the room to greet an Ithorian Senator before they both made their way towards Senator Amedda who was conversing with Senator Taa. His eyes narrowed at their clumsily attempt to appear obscured as they tucked themselves in the other side of the roo,. He would have to ask Padme if there was something stirring within the Congress.

Speaking of whom, she was radiant tonight. He thought a little dazed.  The multi-colored gown hugged her petite form elegantly and her bodice was studded with beads and pearls complimenting her low-cut neckline wonderfully. Delicate embroidery was stitched at the hems of her dress and her silky brown hair were pulled back a by a silver headpiece made of embossed pieces of metal connected by tiny silver shells, allowing her face to be unconcealed. The rest of the hair were wound into a large braided bun, with the remainder of two stray strands framing her face. Obi-Wan had to wonder how long she must have sat to allow her handmaids to create such an artwork. He looked up, meeting her kind amber brown eyes; warm and inviting. Obi-Wan could easily get lost in them. He had almost begun to return the smile she gave him before he caught a sight that immobilized him to the spot. Anakin was there He stood right there, in all his glory with arms crossed and an angry petulant grimace on his face. Rather clumsily, Obi-Wan put back the glass on the table; it clinked against the tray, disturbing his uneasy thoughts.

He was suddenly weary as they ambled through the crowd; it was almost poetically fitting; him against them – separated by a sea of people. But Padme was determined, even as she made small stops to chatter and greet the people who demanded her attention.

Her smile was tight, fake and by the way her fingers twitched he could tell she was getting impatient. Anakin wasn’t hard to figure out. He always wore his heart on his sleeve, something Obi-Wan had continued to chastise him for years. Anakin rolled his eyes quite rudely in his opinion as he nodded whatever the quest was telling them and tagged Padme away.

“Obi-Wan!” Padme cheerfully saluted him, pretending to have just spotted him now. As if no one had noticed the furtive looks she had been sending at his direction from the minute he walked in.

“Senator Amidala, Anakin…” He greeted them with a slight bow, hands crossed behind his back in a perfect pose as he eyed their intertwined fingers with distaste.

Padme took a notice of it and dropped Anakin’s hand quickly as if it burnt her. She scanned around the crowd, suddenly concerned if anyone noticed her impulsive behaviour. Good. He thought, she should be Anakin glared both of them, probably annoyed at their façades. “Hello, Master…” The way he dragged his title was enough to let Obi-Wan know of his mood. “None of that Obi” She told him gently, placing a soft hand on his forearm.

He tensed at the endearment and cleared his throat, gently shaking her hand off as he looked at his former padawan whose fists clenched at his side. “Did you at least have the consideration to require permission from the council for your attendance here or is it another thing I should report?”

Padme folded her arms under her chest, making it temporarily difficult to concentrate as she raised her chin slightly upwards in defiance. "I requested his presence from the council and they granted permission without any objection"

Because they'll question me later. He thought, suddenly exhausted. He would be the one to stand once more in front of the council and defend Anakin’s actions until he was out of breath. How someone as intelligent as Padme could be so thoughtless and impetuous with her secret marriage was beyond him. Did they really believe their pretence wasn’t obvious? “I see… Well then I wish you both to enjoy the rest of your night.” A resilient hold prevented him from moving and he was pulled back roughly only to meet Anakin’s furious stare. “This isn’t fair!” Padme tried to sooth Anakin but he shrugged of her hand, his attention sorely on him. “You were ready to lie, to deceive us! And you have the gall to pretend to be offended?"

Obi-Wan tried in vain to jerk away his arm but Anakin’s solid hold only tightened painfully around him. He glanced around; making sure no one was watching the display of disrespect.”Lie, deceive? I’m not the one who hid his secret marriage for years” He accused him coldly and Anakin had the audacity to look shocked.

He relished him at last from his iron hold and stumbled backwards as if he had been slapped. His gazed lowered for a moment as if considering his next words before they hardened. “I thought we had moved passed that”

Obi-Wan studied the two for a moment, contemplating how worthwhile the argument was. “Perhaps I haven’t.”

Padme’s brows furrowed in guarded curiosity, “Why didn’t you tell us?”

Why indeed. How could he explain that he was in no rush to open old wounds? How every night they spent together, he had to wonder if it would be the last?

The air fell still between them and for once Obi-Wan was glad for the people who surrounded them; their mindless chattering was enough to fill the heavy silence. Despite the recently closed bond, he could sense the storm in his beloved eyes. Guilt sent little squirming feelings slithering through his belly at their suffering. He was hurting them for no reason. It wasn’t their fault they couldn’t understand. Their relationship was already so fragile and freshly new, it left him buffed on how to treat them and hesitant at the risk of destroying what they had built through their friendship

He thought of Siri, of how he had begged her to leave the Order with him, of how close he had been to convincing her to go. He thought of Cerasi; young, and passionate - his love for her had burnt brighter than any light. And then there was Satine; strong yet gentle, just as lovely as she was wise. She had seen the bigger picture, had known they wouldn’t be able to thrive together, not when their duties had become their priorities.

His love for these women had been selfish, and childish. His passion, naivety and yearning had been overwhelmingly consuming, a bubbling sensation slowly rising so close to the surface, he had been certain he would explode.

So far, he had been perfectly content with loving Padme and Anakin from afar. They had each other; he had to constantly remind himself every time the waves of envy and possessiveness made their way to his head.

His friendship with Padme had helped fill the gap between him and Anakin; the miscommunication that had existed between them for so long and yet…

Padme was never supposed to enjoy his company enough to want him to stick around and Anakin was never meant to dwell so deep into his heart. Somehow, the two had decided to cast aside logic and thought it was normal to start pursuing him

He refused to make the same mistakes again

He gave her a sidelong glance, opting to ignore their hurtful expressions, “This is neither the place nor the time for this.”

“When will it be then?” Anakin stepped forward, jaw clenched tightly as his eyes trailed his face as if searching for an answer. “When will it be when all you’ve done is shut us out?”

“What angered you most Anakin?” He turned facing him, a taunting tone painted in his voice. “That I was ready to accept the mission or that I chose Padme instead of you to know the truth?”

Padme could barely hide her mid surprise. Her eyes darted between them in uncertainty before she shook her head and claimed with confidence. “That’s not true, right Ani?”

Anakin did not respond.