#I hope they're not stressing rn over damage control :((

[athena-willowthorne]

ok I know I'm going to be drowned out as one of many and I don't want to be the guy feeding the public frenzy right now but I want to offer my thoughts on the watchertv situation.

I've been a fan of ryan and shane for almost 6 years. I got into them when I was around 12-13, and now, at 18 years old, they've occupied a fairly significant part of the last third of my life. I feel reasonably confident in saying I've watched everything they've ever made, from buzzfeed and watcher, and when they went out to found watcher, I was abundantly happy to welcome steven into my parasocial love for them. I feel like I've grown up with them, and going off to college next year, it was never a question in my mind that they'd follow with me. I mean, I bought their unsolved book the second it was announced, and I even snagged a ghost files shirt and a professor plush when he was rereleased. I took the professor to the lizzie borden house for my 18th birthday overnight, and wow was that an expense, but I've wanted to go ever since middle school when I stumbled across buzzfeed unsolved for the first time. in short, losing them is like losing a constant presence in my life, a cherished presence, no matter how ridiculously parasocial that makes me sound.

when I heard about watchertv, I was crushed. in the past couple days, I've jumped from betrayal to desperation to grief to bitter anger. but I think I've landed now in a place where those make more sense to me. I agree wholeheartedly with so many commenters on every platform right now. they're just like me, feeling let down and disappointed by the people we've idealized, and gotten used to seeing for free. but I also understand exactly how this idea came about, I know what it's like to feel backed into a corner on something, forced to make a hard choice where it feels like only a radical shift will save you. we as fans were there for the three of them, their dynamic. but their dreams don't match up. they want freedom to make what they want, and they feel passionate about growth to tv quality. that's what they're aspiring to, I do genuinely think that.

I won't sit here and go on about the different takes people have made about steven's masterminding or shane's reluctance. the bitter stuff that's been said feels very harsh. but I can't condemn the people saying things out of anger that aren't targeted. it's ok for them to feel upset. sure, maybe it sucks that it has to come out on a public forum like the internet but it's valid nonetheless. but on their end, that's got to hurt. I hope so dearly that watchertv succeeds, even if it has to change a lot to do that. a subscription service isn't what we want, but it's what they believe will let them make the quality content they want to. that's worth pursuing, and I care about them so much that I want them to go for it.

I hate that I can't follow them into this next chapter. and I'm sure a lot of other people are too, and however they choose to feel that is perfectly ok. but their creative satisfaction and happiness does not depend on me, and it shouldn't be limited by what I can or am willing to do.

anyway my heart goes out to them truly. I'll miss them in college, and probably forever, and hopefully our paths cross again. but even if we don't, I'm happy for the memories I was able to make, I hope every other upset fan feels the same way eventually too :))