#I hope there's a lot of content to dig into with orin though. I lovee orin

[spellsparkler]

as a long-avowed Weird Elaborate Terrible Relationship Dynamic enjoyer, I am delighted to learn that a lot of people apparently see the dark urge as having a deep and complex relationship with someone that crashed and burned when they forgot it, along with everything else; I am less enthused to learn that it is with gortash, who I truly, deeply do not care about

[optimisticgrey]

"Nature has been most kind to let me share in your heart"

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picture by @vaelastormreaver

introduction: This is part of Echoes of the Thread, a series that describes the story from a readers POV who has previously lived through the events of Baldur's Gate 3 and remembers everything but has failed.

summary: You have done all of this before and made it Baldur's Gate again. The one thing you can never control though: if Halsin falls in love with you.

author's note: Echoes of the Thread has been voted as a Gale romance story and I will adhere to it. But I have rewritten this chapter multiple times over the past months and its important to me. I think it will add nicely to the story. If you are following it, this takes place somewhere between Chapter 19 and 20.

content warning: recreational drug use (alcohol), past trauma and torture mentioned, a lot of self-loathing

taglist: @whiskeyskin because you like a good cry😁🫶

word count: 4,7k

AO3 Link

When you wake with a slight headache the next day, Yenna is gone.

You are ashamed of the relief flooding you. Ashamed how relieved you are that it’s just her.

You know you cannot voice this to anyone but you take a moment to yourself, pretending to sort your bag as you force back the sobs.

Not Lae’zel.

Not Gale.

Not Halsin.

They are still with you.

There is a chance you will get it right this time.

You dry your eyes and face the others to start the day, your mind heavy with guilt, sorrow and all the things you cannot voice to them. No matter how deeply you wish to.

It takes several days to set everything in motion, to ensure Yenna’s safety can truly be secured. By the time you return to the temple of Bhaal, your stomach is already churning, dread knotting tighter with every step. The memories slam into you; vivid and merciless.

This was where you failed.

You keep your eyes forward, refusing to glance at the places where it all went wrong. You swallow down the panic clawing its way up your throat, bury your fear deep beneath the resolve you have built, however fragile.

And somehow you succeed. You are not entirely certain how.

You kill Orin.

You free the girl.

She throws her arms around you, clinging tightly, small fingers digging into your clothes. You hold her close, arms wrapped around her protectively, trying not to tremble.

You offer to carry her back to camp. But she shakes her head with a wide grin, her eyes bright despite it all.

In the evening, announce you are leaving for a moment to think and no one objects.

Walking out of camp, you stroll the outer city for a while, trying to sort your thoughts. In the end, you find a quiet balcony above the Chionthar and sit down on it. The house seems to be abandoned and you cannot blame its inhabitants.

This is a strange time to live in Baldur’s Gate.

Your arms fold over the railing, your chin resting against them. The tension bleeds from you, slow as water drawn away by Shadowheart’s hand.

It has been, what? Months? Years? You don’t know anymore.

For the first time since this all started, you allow yourself to cry.

For yourself. But mostly for all of them.

Shadowheart. She trust you, again.

She is not aware how profoundly you failed her when the Shar priestess slayed you all and her lost words were surprise and the recognition of your failure.

You decided to side with Orpheus this time, making Lae’zel an outcast. You are still not sure how to feel about this.

You are thankful, Ulder Ravenguard is safe and Wyll had his redemption and reunion with his father.

You killed Cazador, freeing Astarion from two centuries of torture and abuse.

You are still hoping there is a solution for Karlach’s heart although Dammon was unable to help any further.

You helped Gale leaving Mystra behind and still hope you can talk him out of his obsession about the crown.

There might be a life for you, after all of this.

If you can finally get it right once.

Your face is wet with tears when the first sob breaks through the silence, only underlying rushing of the Chionthar below.

There will be a life.  A real life not a constant repetition of things you already know and have done before.

You will get out of this.

You will get it right.

You will get to live.

In safety.

Without this hope, you become aware, you’d given up a very long time ago.

If there is no end to this, all these repetitions, the fighting, the worry and sorrow, all this fear…..what is even the point?

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