#I haven't slept yet it's 8 30 am<3

[reddogcollar]

you can't stop me. from drawing a fuckign horsey

[ID: an uncolored traditional drawing of jack frost from rotg as an mlp pony. he's a very skinny unicorn with sharp teeth, overgrown hooves, and icicles on his curved horn. his cutie mark is a sunrise with the note "he makes things brighter" by it]

[mirasantidotes]

Messy Annotations - Chapter 2

If you haven't already, please read chapter 1 before reading chapter 2. THIS CANNOT BE READ AS A STANDALONE. Read chapter 3 here.

Summary: After spending the night at Javi's house on accident, you wake up late for your lecture. Javi drives you, but you leave your belongings at his house, causing you to walk the trek back. On a whim, you ask him out to dinner, but does he know it's a date?

Character: Javi Gutierrez (TUWOMT)

Content Warnings: ooc!javi, shy!javi, sunshine!reader, reader has wavy hair (was mentioned in chap.1, but not chap.2), reader's love language is touch, very fluffy, reader lives in spain, implied age gap (reader is in their 30s), reader goes to college later in life, bookworm!reader, no use of y/n, javi calls reader nicknames, cussing (blink and you'll miss it), slight mentions of anxiety. Let me know if I missed anything!

Word Count: 3.46K

A/N: Finally, here's chapter 2 of Messy Annotations. I had a lot of fun writing this chapter. I opted to write Javi a little differently than in Chapter 1 just because I think he would get more comfortable with the reader as time went on, so he'd be less flustered at everything. I think I'm going to make this into a 3-part series, so look forward to the next chapter!

Reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated. My requests are open if you have any ideas for future fics.

Masterlist coming one of these days.

(Divider by saradika)

The irritating feeling of your phone buzzing against your thigh wakes you up, you groggily reach into your pocket, pull it out, and turn it on. The bright screen illuminates your face, making you close your eyes harshly as they begin to water from not having been used to the light yet from your deep sleep. You open them up just enough to see, and your phone screen reads 8:30 AM. You read the day, and it says Saturday. Your still foggy mind reminds you that your college holds mandatory lectures on that day from 9 AM to 3 PM. 

You look around, not recognizing your surroundings. Shit, you fell asleep at Javi's house. You blink a few times, registering before the panic sets in that you're going to be late, as you’re well over 45 minutes walking distance from your college. As you panic, you lift your head off of Javi's lap abruptly. You stand up a little too quickly, beginning to run around his living room, almost tumbling over face-first from being half asleep still. Your harsh movements wake up Javi in the process. He notices your anxiety-induced state, "What's wrong, hermosa?" he says, standing up out of his seat as he watches you quickly beginning to pick up your things littered throughout his house from the previous night. 

You pause at the nickname for a split second, before continuing. "I'm gonna be late for my lecture," you say, still not looking in his direction. 

"Mierda (shit)" he says, fixing his shirt and messy slept-in hair before he runs to grab his car keys, "I'll drive you, so you aren't late," he finishes as he dangles his car keys in the air, making them chime lightly. 

You turn to face him, "Oh, thank you so much!" you say, sighing in relief that you aren't going to be late. As you finish grabbing your things, you speak again, "Okay, I'm ready," and you begin walking to Javi who's waiting by the door, holding it open for you already. The two of you walk out and go into his garage before getting into his car. You both drive off to your college, and you give him directions on how to get there. 

As you arrive at your college, you get out of Javi's car, before turning around to see him resting one of his hands on the steering wheel, and his other elbow lying lazily out of the window. You wave to him, "Bye Javi," smiling. 

"Have a good day, hermosa." he says simply, shooting you a sweet smile, before you turn to walk into your college, waving ‘bye’ to him, as he starts his car engine and leaves the parking lot. 

After about 45 minutes into your extremely boring lecture, your mind drifts to the previous day. You remember buying books at the library, but as you recall further, you realize you left them at Javi’s house. You let out a sigh of discontent. You also happen to realize, you hadn’t gotten his phone number. Your mind wanders for the rest of your irritatingly long lectures, thinking about the memories you made yesterday, making your heart flutter. After sitting there for what seemed like forever, your professor finally released you from what felt like prison, and you walked out of your college. 

You begin your trek to Javi’s house again to retrieve your books, and to get the man’s phone number. As you’re walking, you’re fully focused on how you got there yesterday, trying to remember each turn you took. You hadn’t really been paying attention last time— your mind was focused on talking to Javi and the feeling of his hand in yours. After about 30 minutes, you come back across the flower field the two of you ran through the previous day. You smile to yourself at the thought. 

After a little while longer, you finally reach his home, a sigh of exasperation leaving you from how tired the long walk made you, making you breathe heavily. You walk up to his door and knock. Javi answers almost immediately, eyes widening when he sees it’s you, before quickly turning his expression into the sweet smile you saw earlier that morning when he dropped you off. “Hey, I forgot—” you start, but you’re quickly interrupted. 

“Your books?” he finishes your statement, lifting the familiar bag that you had put them in the day before at the library, as he lets out a few laughs. 

“Yeah,” you say, joining his laughter. He steps to the side of the door, motioning for you to come inside, and of course, you oblige. 

“I’ll leave these here,” he says simply, as he sets down the bag by the door, “for when you’re getting ready to head out,” he finishes, turning back to look at you. You give him a smile before nodding. “Did you want something to snack on?” he asks, seeming concerned whether you had eaten, which you haven’t. Your professors have been torturing you all day, and you hadn’t got the chance. 

“Yes please, I haven’t eaten all day,” you sigh, feeling your stomach grumble, feeling like it's reaching up into your throat for some type of nourishment. Javi waves his hand, signaling for you to follow him into the kitchen, and you follow his instruction. The big windows let through large rays of light onto his appliances and island counter. 

You sit down on one of the stools behind the bar, as Javi walks around and leans his arms on the counter in front of you. “What do you want to eat, sweetheart?” he asks looking into your eyes, but you catch a glimpse of his cheeks reddening, as does yours at the nickname. You think for a moment, unsure.

He clears his throat, pushing himself off the edge of the counter and swiftly making his way over to the fridge, opening it. You hum— he continues after clearing the lump that had started forming in his throat from his nervousness, “We have—” he pauses, looking around in the fridge, fiddling with a few containers you can’t see from where you’re sitting, “nothing in here,” he finishes, closing the fridge door, before turning back to you. You chuckle before looking to the side; you see some bags of chips and a box of pastries— you recognize the label; it’s your favorite bakery. 

You slide the box over to you, “Another thing we have in common—” you say, looking up at him, meeting his eyes that are now level with yours, as he’s leaning on the counter once more, “I go to this bakery all the time,” you finish, smiling, before opening up the small brown box, the aroma of different pastries filling the kitchen. You see a few different snacks inside— churros, piononos, Napolitana de chocolate (chocolate Neapolitan), and a few others you don’t recognize. “Can I have one of these?” you ask, looking back up to meet his warm eyes once more. 

He nods, “Yeah, have whatever you want out of there, hermosa.” he says with a smile. You mirror his expression and grab one of the snacks and start eating it as he grabs one of the bags of chips you noticed earlier, before walking around the island to sit next to you on a stool. “How were your, uh— classes?” he asks as he turns his head toward you, sticking a chip into his mouth. 

You grumble at the thought of your lecture, “Terrible. They just kept talking and talking—” you exaggerate before returning his question, “What about you? How was your day?”

“It’s been okay; was worried about getting you your books back though,” Javi states, turning his gaze back to his bag of chips. 

You chuckle, “So was I— I thought you might steal them,” you joke once more, causing him to laugh. You think back to yesterday for a brief moment, “Oh, I still wanna finish reading that book; the one you wanted me to read,” you finish, taking another bite from your snack before looking in his direction, and him meeting your gaze.

Javi hums, “Let me go get it for you, I’ll be right back,” he says with his mouth still full of food, shooting you a crooked smile before stepping off of his stool, and disappearing into the living room. You notice he left his chips, and turn to see if he’s walking back yet, and since you don’t see him, you take a few chips and stick them in your mouth. Of course, he comes back just as you reach for another, his voice startling you, “Stealing my food, are we?” he says, his laughter filling the room. 

You giggle at his words, “They’re good; might have to go buy some for myself,” you say smiling as you eat the chip you grabbed as he walked in— he returns your smile with a hearty laugh. He sits back down on the stool and slides the book over to you, and you can see he put a bookmark on the page you left off on last night. Even though you just ate, you’re still hungry, but for some actual food, not something that’s going to make you bounce off the walls within the hour— “Hey, do you wanna go out for dinner tonight with me?” you ask, breaking the silence. 

“Sure, where to?” he asks, turning his head towards you. 

“There’s a place I like going to that’s by my dorm; it’s a small restaurant, nothin’ too fancy,” you reply, fiddling with the book he just handed you, not looking at him— but you had a bright smile on your face that you couldn’t possibly hide, even if you wanted to.

He smiles, “Sounds great,” he says as he looks over to the time imprinted on the stove before the two of you; it reads 4:36 PM. “We should leave soon if we’re gonna go; it’s getting close to dinner time,” he says simply, looking over at you, and you meet his gaze.

“Alright, I’ll get my things gathered up,” you reply. 

He looks down at himself, humming; “I’ll go get dressed into something different and meet you by the door in a few minutes, okay, hermosa?” he says as he puts his hand on your shoulder, giving it a light squeeze before stepping off his stool. You give Javi a smiling nod before doing the same, picking up the book on the counter, and walking to the front door. You pick up the bag of books he left lying there, throwing it over your shoulder and you wait for him to meet you. 

After a few minutes, he returns, wearing a brown shirt with multicolored stripes imprinted on both of his broad shoulders and some moss-green pants, both of which complimented his tanned skin and eyes quite nicely. 

A smile rises on your face when you see him, “You ready, sweetheart?” he asks, smiling at you back. You hum while nodding your head, and the two of you walk out of his house together. The two of you get into his car, setting your bag of books down in the back seat, and he drives off, you giving him directions on how to get to the restaurant. 

As you arrive at the restaurant and step out of Javi’s car, you arrive at the door, stopping abruptly. You forgot your wallet in your dorm. You groan, throwing your head back in vexation. He turns around to face you, wondering what you’re upset about. “I forgot my wallet,” you say, lowering your heat to meet his softened gaze. 

“That’s okay, I’ll pay for us,” he says with a soft smile as he grabs the door, about to walk into the restaurant, but you reach out to hold onto his arm, stopping him in his tracks as he shoots his head back to look at his arm, and quickly looking up to meet your eyes once more. 

“No, I’m taking you out to eat, I should pay—” you start your plea, “plus, it’s only a 10-minute walk to my dorm,” you finish. Javi releases his hand on the restaurant door, his body untensing. “Do you wanna wait here or walk with me?” you ask him, still holding onto his arm. 

“I’ll walk with you,” he says with a smile, and you guide him to the direction of your dorm, your arm still interlinked with his. The two of you reach your front door, and you unlink your arms so you can unlock it, and you walk in.

“You can come in,” you say, turning back for a moment to look at him smiling as he steps inside. “Ignore the mess, please,” you add, not facing him as you begin looking for your wallet, forgetting where you put it. Javi looks around your small, quaint dorm room, which you surprisingly managed to finesse all to yourself, so you’re without the annoyance of a young party-animal of a roommate. 

You find your wallet finally on your coffee table, and you turn back to face him. You see him standing, staring at all the different artworks you have spread around your apartment— both finished and unfinished. “These are all really beautiful,” he compliments, mesmerized by your most recent artwork. 

“Thank you— I major in art, so I’d hope so,” you say, a peal of light laughter escaping your mouth at your own joke. 

He shifts his focus from the painting and looks up at you, meeting your gaze, causing a gentle smile to spread across his face. “You ready to go?” he asks— his voice soft, and sweet. You speak a small ‘yep’ while nodding as he walks over to your door, opening it for you to step out as you walk toward him, “You first, sweetheart,” he says smiling brightly, his cheeks flush with a light pink, waiting for you to step through the door. 

As you walk through, he makes sure to turn the bottom lock before he shuts the door, locking it. He turns to you, putting his arm resting on your upper back, guiding you as the two of you return to the restaurant, walking inside. The waiter at the front walks the two of you to your seats, and you smell the various foods as you walk by people’s tables— some people on dates, some with their family and kids; your mind wonders, was this a date to him? 

The waitress hands both of you your menus before walking away and returning a few minutes later asking what you’d like to order. After you tell the woman what you’d like, you and Javi talk almost the entire time, only pausing long enough to eat your food before it got cold. You talk about how college is for you now that you’re older in life, and he asks about what you study down to the most minuscule details and you tell him you lived in the states before coming to college. He talks about his life as well, and you’re just as intrigued by what he has to say— he explains to you about his film and new-found success. The tables around you come and go with families and people on dates, as the two of you stay and talk, sharing laughs, and making kind remarks at each other. 

The two of you finally finish eating, “I’ve really enjoyed this, Javi; thank you for coming to dinner with me,” you say, smiling brightly at him, causing him to return your expression. 

He nods at your words, “I’m glad I came too, hermosa.” he says softly, pushing his plate away from him, and setting it on top of your finished one. Your heart flutters at the nickname he’s been calling you all day, making you smile brightly. You shift your gaze to your lap, as you pull out your wallet to pay, taking the money out and moving it towards the table. “You really don’t need to pay, sweetheart,” he says, his hand reaching across the small table, resting on your wrist, motioning for you to stop. 

“No, Javi, I really should pay,” you start, “I brought you here to eat, so it’s my responsibility,” you finish, shooting him a soft smile with your doe eyes. 

He nods, “Okay, but next time, I’m paying, alright hermosa?” he says, nodding his head downward slightly before finally unhandling your wrist.

You nod, “Okay, fine. Next time,” you reply sweetly— smiling at the thought of sharing more memories with the man before you. You set the money on the table, and you shift your wallet back into your pocket as you stand up from your seat, Javi following your actions. 

The two of you walk to the restaurant door before walking out together, and to Javi’s car. “Let me drive you home at least, sweetheart.” he pleads, leaning his arm on the passenger side of his car, arms crossed, looking at you with his big doe eyes, which you find really hard to say no to. 

“It’s only a 10-minute walk, Javi— I’ll be okay,” you say, rubbing his shoulder gently while letting out a few chuckles. 

“No, please, let me,” he continues his pleas while gazing at you with his golden-retriever eyes, his voice ringing softly in your ears, making you feel slight butterflies. 

“Okay, fine,” you give in, smiling. Javi shoots you a bright grin like what you just said were the best words he could ever hear, before opening the car door for you to step in, shutting it back before walking to the driver's side and getting in after you. He drives you to your dorm’s parking lot and turns off the engine. 

You take off your seat belt and let your hand lay on your thigh; Javi follows your actions. He turns to you, “I had a lot of fun tonight, sweetheart,” he says, leaning toward you and taking your hand in his, squeezing it tightly as he plays with your fingers and brushing his thumb across your soft skin, a light pink flushing his cheeks. 

You smile, “Me too, Javi,” you say simply, looking into his brown eyes that you find extremely easy to get lost in.

“Next time?” he asks, tilting his head. 

A gentle rush of excitement rushes through your body, causing butterflies to flap in your stomach once more, “Next time,” you reply smiling, as heat rises slowly onto your cheeks. 

He lets go of your hand after giving it one more gentle squeeze, and you reach in to hug him, giving him a small kiss on his cheek as you pull away from him, his eyes immediately meeting yours, before letting out a soft laugh, making you return it as well. 

You turn to step out of his car and close the door behind you, “Bye, Javi, have a good night,” you say waving, as you start walking away from his car.

“Goodnight, sweetheart,” he hollers, waving back to you. You hear the sound of his engine start once more before you’re suddenly reminded, you still don’t have his phone number.

You yell out a ‘wait’ causing him to look back up at you as you turn to run back to the side of his car. “I forgot to give you my number, again,” you say in between laughs laced with embarrassment.

He snorts at your mistake and quickly opens his glove box to find a piece of paper and a pen before handing it to you. You quickly write down your number and hand it back to Javi. The two of you say your goodbyes once more before you finally leave to turn and walk back to your dorm, smiling to yourself the whole way. 

As you settle into your couch, you relive the memories you had with Javi, you groan when you realize he didn’t give you his number, feeling slightly defeated. You sigh, realizing you’re going to have to until he calls you with plans— a worry washes over you; what if he doesn’t call you?

You sit and watch TV for a few more hours, barely paying attention to the soft mumbles coming from your speakers— your mind focused on the day’s events. You glance up at your clock, seeing it’s getting late. You switch off your TV to go lie in your unmade bed, your mind once more drifting to Javi. Your heart flutters every time you remember him calling you hermosa or sweetheart, every time his body brushes against yours, creating small strikes of lightning on your skin, and every time he laughs at your jokes or actions— you feel yourself falling, and falling hard for Javi. 

Your last thought before falling into a deep slumber for the night is, is he falling too?

[lookbotsfollowmeyay]

Making a fucking master sword out of paper for a school project

Woke up at 7:30 on a Sunday to do game nerd bullshit. Started at 8, still haven't had breakfast yet by 8:50.

You'll need:

A pencil

A ruler

A long tape ruler

A pair of scissors

A scapel/box cutter

A fuck ton of paper

Glue

Too much time on your hands

Dedication

(Update from when I just cut the handguard out: you need a fuck ton in the power of a shit ton of dedication. If I paid myself minimum wage for this, I'd be able to afford a custom forged master sword.)

Step 1: measure shit badly

With the power of a free sketch book app, a ruler downloaded from the internet and two reference images (BotW Link with the sword on his back and TP concept art), I set off on my quest to make a sword.

Here are the measurements if anybody ever wants them.

Provided with a 160cm tall Linky:

140cm long in total

105cm blade (everything after the gold gem thingy)

88cm from triforce to tip

9cm wide

1cm tapered side each side

6cm thinner part of the blade behind triforce

3cm golden gem (corner pointing to end of blade) to end of pommel

3cm tall golden gem

3cm weird flared bit above gem

24cm handle+pommel

17cm handle only

7cm pommel only

7cm triforce logo

4cm triforce tall (no lil bits outside)

5cm triforce wide

31cm across the "M"

9cm triforce to M

If you want to give up here, I 100% support that.

Step 2: try figure how to put everything together with tiny prototypes

It's 10:15.

I'm going to try make an A4 length one, roughly to scale but that's not a priority right now. The point of that is to try find out what I need with small scale fuck arounds.

I SPENT HALF AN HOUR MAKING A SKETCH GOD FUCKING DAMNIT THIS IS GOING TO TAKE SO FUCKING LONG!

And we have logistical issues! Whoop.

I'm going to put long rods of rolled up paper inside the sword to give it some structural integrity. The blade is going to be a couple pieces, but will be put together and treated as one. The part with the triforce bit to the M is going to be a piece in itself. And now we have the hardest part: the handle and shit.

I'm going to put the pieces of the M together seperately (once I figure out how to pull that off, I think that would require a bit of origami.) The handle is just a lot of rolling, might look for something to form a core.

(fig.1 what parts I'm going to build this in)

....it's been 45 minutes and 11:00, bloody fucking hell.

Okay. So if I cut these triangular things on the side, I can achieve the squish I need to put the longer bits of the M on to the shorter bits. It's already 14:00 oh my god.

I then spent half an hour trying to improve it, but I forgot what was wrong with the OG one.

Step 3: surrender all planning and wing it.

I gave up on "the process". What a surpise.

So I printed an image of the MS, cut the template out and glued it to cardboard to cut out. I might have to do this twice, I don't know!

We do this not because it is easy, but because we thought it would be easy

-Moon Tzu

Yes. I do have to do this twice. God fucking damnit, my hands hurt a bit. But as the old wisdom of my people said:

Fuck it, we ball.

We masking tape it down, trace one more

Then we cut that bitch out again.

.... fuck it, we ball.

You may think my hard work looks like a pile of scrap, that's because it is a pile of scrap before I figure out a way to put it together.

I am considering a sandwich of paper/card/paper/card/paper to somehow keep this in one piece. I know I'm failing and desperately grasping, shut the fuck up.

I'm running out of curse words. Godforsaken cunty bloody twat of a project.

Good lord my right index finger. Cut it playing with knives and now it's exhausted because of another knife.

Step 4: how to make my art teacher faint

I've slept on it (procrastinated) and asked Chat GPT for a bit of help and it says I should make the blade and the handle slot together. Good idea. So I have to cut 4 more pieces of cardboard.

Everything's a mess and unplanned, my art teacher that spent 2/3 of our project planning shit and not leaving enough time to do the actual project will faint from the sight of all the abandoned parts because I had a better way to hake it lol

Anyways, I've printed out a sword on paper so I can identify problems before I get to it and realise I fucked up.

Look. It's another picture that testifies I don't think shit through (and decided to put the blade together before I worked out how).

Eh. All I'll need to do is tear out the supports and reuse them. Printer paper that's been processed such a small amount is no loss compared to the cardboard fuck ups.

The triforce on the sword is not equilateral yare yare fucking daze.

Step 5: How to not want to see a scapel ever again for the rest of your life

Here's all the shit I cut out. Subject to change.

I had to use tumblr web on my phone to put this here. One more reason to thank me for my contributions to humanity. Maybe it's from the cutting things in surgical white light or maybe it's because I forgot the eat and drink water, but I kind of feel like throwing up. This is how the sharp end is supposed to be cut.

Then just crease the blade bits along the lines, tape it together with clear tape to form a very long blade. Glue the parts together. If you got this far, I won't bother to explain (definetly not because I forgot to photograph any and can't properly explain shit.) Make a handle with rolled paper (2 sheets, roll, then tape), for strength, cut A4 in half (halve 30cm side) roll those bitches up, glue them into the interior of the big roll, only one circle around then stuff it with tightly crumpled paper. Masking tape that bitch onto the guard that sandwiches the blade at the end. Just make sure it's flat enough to glue the seperate parts of the guard on. I actually had to dispose of some parts to make it work. It's also weak at the point between the blade and guard. What genius idea did I have late at night with this thing due tomorrow? Wrap 2 USB sticks onto both sides with masking tape. I recommend using empty Pilot V5 cartridges or like, hard enough pens instead of USB STICKS TAPED RIGHT ON THE OUTSIDE. Anyways, it's done. The pommel's origami (not on photo).

[honmyoseagull]

WHUMPTOBER 2023 MASTERLIST

DARK REIGN BULLSNIKT: HISTORY OF A RELATIONSHIP FROM BEGINNING TO END. (INDIVIDUAL LINKS TO AO3 IN THE TITLES)

PART 1, prompts 1 to 8

SHOCK VALUE

The courtship started in an explosive way. Then comes the first date. Obviously, this is Daken and Bullseye, so don't expect rainbow and roses. More like torture and constant denial. And maybe the tiniest bit of longing.

No. 1: Safety Net | Swooning | “How many fingers am I holding up?”

No. 2: “I’ll call out your name, but you won’t call back.” Thermometer | Delirium | “They don't care about you.”

No. 3: “Like crying out in empty rooms; with no-one there except the moon.” “Make it stop.”

No. 4: “I see the danger, It’s written there in your eyes.” Shock | “You in there?”

No. 5: “You better pray I don't get up this time around.” Debris | Pinned Down | “It's broken.”

No. 6: “Do or die, you’ll never make me; Because the world will never take my heart.” Made to Watch | “It should have been me.”

No. 7: " “I paced around for hours on empty; I jumped at the slightest of sounds.” Radio Silence |

No. 8: “I’ve got soul, but I’m not a soldier.” Overcrowded ER | Outnumbered

PART 2, prompts 9 to 16

NOTHING PERSONAL

Fighting together (or against each other) is easy. Fucking, they learn to manage. Kinda. Since this is Daken and Bullseye we're talking about, they're rubbish at dealing with their feelings, though. And the more they run from them, the more it hurts. Literally. Also, it wasn't what they had planned with their day, this 'Meet the Family' thing.

No. 9: “Learning everything ain't what it seems, that's the thing about these days.” Polaroid | Mistaken Identity | “You're a liar.”

No. 10: “Can’t you see that you’re lost without me?” Broken Phone | Stranded | “You said you'd never leave.”

No. 11: Animal trap | Captivity | “No one will find you.”

No. 12: “I haven't slept in days but who's counting?” Red | Insomnia | “I’m up, I’m up.”

No. 13: Cold Compress | Infection | “I don’t feel so good.”

No. 14: “Feed me poison, fill me ‘till I drown.” Water Inhalation | “Just hold on.”

No. 15: Makeshift Bandages | Suppressed Suffering | “I’m fine.”

No. 16: “Would you lie with me and just forget the world?” Gurney | Flatline

PART 3, prompts 17 to 24

FOR OLD TIME'S SAKE

A learning curve. Dealing with blasts of the past. Blasting the past. Again. Learning to be two. They are who they are, they work (mostly) and they rock. (Even if the ground they tango on is rocky.) Now, if ghosts could stop crawling out of the woodwork, that would be nice.

No. 17: “You’re the lump in my throat and the knot in my chest.” Touch Aversion | “Leave me alone.”

No. 18: “Hit them harder.”

No. 19: Floral Bouquet (of tea (a)) | Psychological | “I’m not as stupid as you think I am.”

No. 20: Blanket | Found Family | “You will regret touching them.”

No. 21: “See the chains around my feet.” Restraints

No. 22: “They never saw us coming, ‘til they hit the floor.” Glass Shard | Vehicular Accident | “Watch out!”

No. 23: “It’s gonna get me by the end of the night.” Shadows | Stalking | “Who’s there?”

No. 24: “I’ve got a head full of chemicals; mouth full of ridicule.” Goodbye Note | Neglect | “I thought they were with you.”

PART 4, prompts 25 to 31

BREAKING EVEN

They need each other more than ever. Are ready to give and take more than ever. And yet, they still crack at the seams.

No. 25: “You’re not delivering a perfect body to the grave.” Storm | Buried Alive | “They’re not breathing!”

No. 26: “Sometimes I get so tired; I don’t even know myself.” Seeing Double | Working To Exhaustion | “You look awful.”

No. 27: Matches | Scars | “Let me see”

No. 28: “We might not make it to the morning; so go on and tell me now.” Bloody Knife | Sacrifice | “You'll have to go through me.”

No. 29: “I only sink deeper the deeper I think.” Scented Candle | “What happened to me?”

No. 30: “It’s okay, just to say, ‘I’m not okay’.” Borrowed Clothing | Bridal Carry |

No. 31: “I thought that I was getting better.” Emptiness | “Take it easy.”

(Fifth fic about Mourning the relationship based on the alternate prompts will be done when it will be done ^^;; Gimme a break. No, not bones.)

[nathank77]

8/20/24

8:59 a.m

My insomnia was a bitch last night. I had to double up for the first time in 2 days. I'm willing to tonight after putting in much effort but the following day I'm SOL I won't raise my tolerance. It'll come down to weed tomorrow worse case.

I fell asleep by 1 a.m... it's really getting to me.

Let's go over my potential subclinical hyperthyroidism symptoms:

1) Insomnia....

I dont think there are others...

-muscles twitching: seems directly related to metopolol and have seemed to slow down and almost stop since stopping the meds.

-pooping: has went back to 2-3× a day. The 5 times that one day was directly linked to having over 39 grams of fiber in one day.

- Sweating/Heat intolerance: Not suffering from those.

-Heart Rate: Seems to be within normal range.

- Frequent Urination: I mean I drink a lot of fluids. It can easily be the explanation. Before bed I drink a cup of tea with my cigarettes.

-weight loss: my caloric in-take is low. I would be losing weight like a mother fucker if I was hyper.

-Anxiety: well I mean insomnia triggers me so much it's always extreme.. and okay so my thyroid nodules gave me anxiety randomly last night. Maybe we can say my anxiety is worse..... but idk it could also be that I care about myself and my sister had thyroid cancer and I didn't want to process that my thyroid grew another nodule despite it being smaller. And of course, my thyroid is of major interest to me atm bc of being sub clinically hyper..

- Appetite: I've had a slight increase in appetite but it seems normal. Every 4-6 hours. When I was hyper I was hungry every 2 hours... now I just feel hungry when I think a normal human body should.

Okay moving forward from that:

- is xanax losing its effectiveness? I don't think so but it crosses my mind.. yet some nights it works fine.

- or is my anxiety bad right now and it's keeping me from falling asleep quickly..

- is it the game I play before bedtime. It's fun it's call ice age adventure. Elise if you're here idk if your kids are too old to enjoy it but I think it's super fun and cute and they may love it. Nonetheless it's bright. And I play right before solitaire. It could be effecting it.

circadian rhythm: is it being effected by multiple nights of falling asleep later due to insomnia despite all the efforts I make to keep it so I can fall asleep by 11:30 p.m..

- then I think a wild thought what if my body is like if we don't sleep he will give us more? I mean it seems stupid cause it knows damn well that sure 2 days in a row I will but day 3 you're fucked. I'll make you pull an all nighter. I'm keeping my circadian rhythm I'll throw myself in the attic at 2 a.m if you won't sleep.

Gaming isn't a factor I haven't been gaming all my youtube videos are a week or 2 old being posted on a schedule.

Yesterday I had one red bull at 8 a.m. I had my v8 energy drinks too but stopped them at 2 p.m....

I mean I have had more tv time. But I mean of course I have. I'm running through my list of things to do and 90% of it at this rate costs me money I don't have so I can only do so much.

- bo4 hardcore barebones starts today. I have therapy and a physical. And I'm doing laundry so I can't really enjoy it today but starting tomorrow I'm going to be all in, I set up my week so I can enjoy it for as many days as possible. Although I have to go grocery shopping tomorrow.

- I am worried about money. Idk.

I suppose if I struggle tonight and tomorrow I'm going to do Methimazole everyday bc at that point I can't find another cause but it seems weird that it could be related to subclinical hyperthyroidism when I slept when I was hyper.

I don't think xanax is losing its effectiveness

I actually think my circadian rhythm has been thrown off too many nights in a row and maybe my tv is still a little too loud. If I turn it down anymore- the voice is going to be all i hear....

Maybe I can try being scared on YouTube on my tv with a sleep timer. His voice is low. And now my mental pictures are all sorts of normal and weird and I have control of them.

But yea I'm feeling hopeless. I'd rather follow my Dr original advice...but at some point as I take out the potential other causes it might be the only factor.

I think trying a lower TV show might be helpful. American dad has a lot of singing and screaming. It could be disrupting my ability to fall asleep or stay asleep. Technically I could be falling asleep quickly and waking up minutes later bc of a loud sound....

Or maybe it's just my circadian rhythm being thrown off. IDFK but I'm weighting every potential cause.

[yoonyia]

I haven't slept properly in 4 days, in the last 4 days I got 8 hours of sleep in total, I'm, I'm in brain rot that should be considered brain damage

I'm so ok

I'm so good

I accidently shared some of my psycho analysis of this one classmate and made him cry then he spent the rest if the day trying to make me tell him more about himself like I'm some God or something and I had all the answers

I'm real tired

I'm so cranky

is this what I'll always feel like when in 40

in the 6 hours I slept yesterday my brain came up with a dream where these 2 guys thought a flower made them gay but they just actually liked each other

it litterally just went

"I like you for some reason"

"I like you too"

"it's that damn flower"

it was funny

my brain is dead

my migranes are making my eyes go blurry

I cant hear words no more

several times at school I had audio processing issues

nothing unusual for me but it happened like 5 times in 30 minutes and i couldent understand anything

everything was clearly words but I dont get them

my brain is telling me to go to sleep

but I'm talking to my dad about World econ

he's a great dad

never cranky like me

I got my cranky from my mom

shit am I gonna be like my mom when I grow up

I doubt I'll be as stubborn as her but I might be a screamer

I should probably learn how to deal with that now before it becomes second nature and extremely difficult to change

being cranky is no reason to be a screamer

I'm not a screamer yet but I can see it happening

I'm tired

what am I even saying

love my parents

and my grandparents

they visited reccently

miss my cousins

miss korea

I have no idea what time of year it is

I miss the seasons more then the country

give me fall back

I need to eat aquarium rocks

my fish all died by now

oh right grandpa put a oxygen pump in their tank when their pond fish

they died in a month

they died years ago

I miss my bird

my birds still alive

one of them atleast

the second one is buried behind the house of blue on the right of the 3 triangle trees near the place my friend shit outside cause I said it's probably not illegal

the things 8 year olds do

I miss rollerblading over rain

and the rust on the blades the next day

I miss rollerblading for an hour outside

enjoying the season and the wind

the bird that died was my favorite bird

I know its wrong to have favorite children but the second one was nicer

I love lulu dearly

rest in peace birdy

lala better live till 15 if she dosent I'm gonna resurrect her

she's turn 6 this may

her birthday is on children's day (may 5th, atleast in korea)

I wanna go karaoke and then sleep on the heated wooden floor

I need to sleep so baddly

I'm tired

my dads talking about workplace discrimination

love my dad

[lunaxriax]

Evens for Jaehwan.

distract me pls

2: Think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?

No, I don't. And I probably never will.

4: What’s something you really want right now?

A drink.

6: Do you like the beach?

Yes, I do. Go there frequently for walks.

8: What’s the background on your cell?

A sunset.

10: Do you like your phone?

It's decent enough for its purpose, so yeah.

12: Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?

It was yours, buddy!

14: Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?

Emotional pain.

16: Are you tired?

Always am. I think I was born tired.

18: Are they a relative?

It's in relation to the previous question, but yes that person is a relative.

20: When did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?

That was a while back.

22: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

Not entirely sure about that one.

24: Is there a certain quote you live by?

"Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve."

26: Do you have any tattoos?

Nope.

28: Next time you will kiss someone on the lips?

I don't know?

30: Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?

I think so. Well it was either a couch or a bed, same thing.

32: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?

Friend is a big word, but I'd say yes.

34: Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?

Yes, although I still don't know why.

36: Were you single on Valentines Day?

Yes.

38: What do your friends call you?

Jaehwan, Jae, Jae Jae and a bunch of other insults

40: Have you ever cried over a text?

Not really. I don't cry easily.

42: What is it from?

I don't really get bruises... perks of being dead, I guess.

44: Who was the last person you were on the phone with?

A friend.

46: Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?

No, I don't care about bad hair day. Somehow my hair still looks fine on those days.

48: Do you make supper for your family?

Considering I don't live with my family... nope.

50: Top 3 web-pages?

YouTube, Google, Instagram

52: Does anything on your body hurt?

My head.

54: What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?

Coffee.

56: What do you usually do first in the morning?

Go to the gym.

58: Think back to January 2007, were you single?

I'm pretty sure I was since I was... 10 xD

60: When’s the next time you will give someone a BIG hug?

Oh I don't know about that... I'm not exactly the biggest fan of those things.

62: When will be the next time you text someone?

How about I text you, Drake? xD

64: What were you doing at 8 this morning.

Sobering up.

66: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?

Does my cat count?

68: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

I haven't slept yet but I had many wild thoughts. Mostly ridiculous drunk thoughts that made no sense at all.

70: How many windows are open on your computer?

One. This one xD

72: What is your ringtone?

Random standard one.

74: Where is your Mum right now?

She's dead.

76: Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?

No.

78: Do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?

Probably on no one. I didn't start having crushes on people until I was well over 20.

80: Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?

When I was a kid, plenty of times.

82: Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?

Me, I did. That counts, right?

84: You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?

Ok first of all, that's not something I would do because it's caveman behavior and I dislike that and if one of my friends would do that I would so smack the shit out of them.

86: What was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?

I... don't go see movies... Too many people. I watch them at home.

88: If someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?

No.

90: Have you ever trusted someone too much?

A few times, unfortunately.

92: Do you get along with girls?

I think so? I mean, I don't really get along with people in general, so...

94: Does sex mean love?

Nope.

96: Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?

Not that I can recall.

98: Everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?

You shouldn't let your happiness depend on someone else. If you do, your happiness can be taken away in an instant.

100: Who was the last person that you pinky promise?

Probably someone from my childhood, I think.

[felinaone]

Prompts for writing:

1."You're hair is really soft after you wash it."

2."Ssh. Stop moving. I'm just braiding your hair."

3."I might have slept with your robe/cape when you were gone."

4."If you steal the blankets, i am going to put my Cold feet on you."

5."You're comfy."

6."You are my new pillow."

7."Don't be stubborn. Try it!"

8."Star-gazing was a good idea"

9."You look beautiful/handsome in the moonlight."

10."I'll always be here for you."

11."I'll be here to protect you."

12."It's okay. I couldn't sleep anyway."

13."It's not morning yet."

14."Shush and go back to bed."

15."I heard you talking in your sleep."

16."You told me that you were okay! You promised!"

17."Why didn't you tell me?!"

18."How long have you been covering this!?"

19."What happened!?"

20."[Name], this is serious!"

21."Cut the crap and tell me what happened."

22."You've been trying to deal with this yourself?"

23."You idiot/di'kutla!"

24."Why did you lie to me?"

25."If you didn't want to be a burden, you should have gotten it treated right!"

26."You are not fine!"

27."You didn't think it was that bad? Are you looking at it?!"

28."It's obvious you like them."

29."Crushing hard, huh?"

30."You cleaned my room/ship for me while I slept?"

31."Wait, did you just call me cute?"

32."I care about you, maybe more than I should."

33." No one's ever done that to me before."

34."Could you play with my hair?"

35."I can't believe the last time i did this with someone."

36."That feels nice."

37."I haven't been hugged in years."

38."I need to remember what hugs feel like."

39."Do you mind if we stay like this for a little longer?"

40."Do you not have better things to be doing?"

41."Spill."

42."Get your butt over here before I drag here myself."

43."That's normal, right?"

44."How many of these things have you eaten?

45."Do not touch that."

46."You have got to be kidding me."

47."You didn't."

48."By the maker, please don't tell them."

49."I'm just tired."

50."How much longer will this last."

51."You I'd the best you could."

52."I'd rather die."

53."Why do you hate me?"

54."Your hair is so soft.."

55.It's too cold! come back!"

56."C'mere, you can sit in my lap until I'm done working."

57."I'm not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention."

58."Shh, you're safe. I won't let you go"

59."What? Does that feel good?"

60."I think I'm in love with you and I'm terrified."

61."I'm not going to leave you. You're never going to have to suffer by yourself again, i promise."

62."You hurt me and I still trusted you."

63."Don't say anything else, just stay."

64."Why can't you see that?"

65."I miss you/ i miss (them,him,her)"

[wands-n-roses]

Miserable | R.B. [TDOF 2021]

Day 4!

A/n: Idk I was in the mood for writing something angsty and well...this happened lol. I hope you enjoy!

Warnings/Notes: After Hogwarts, the reader gets drunk, yelling/arguing, angsty, crying, talk of medication (just advil), no happy ending

--

"Come on, Regulus, you said you'd go this time. I'm sick of having to explain to everyone why my boyfriend isn't here," you told Regulus.

He rolled his eyes, "I don't feel like going, I told you already. Just drop it."

"You never want to do anything with me anymore. What's wrong? Tell me what's wrong."

"I said I was fine, Y/n, fucking drop it already."

You stood up and scoffed. "Well, I'm still going to go. I'll be home later." You started to put on your coat.

"Can I at least get a kiss goodbye?" Regulus asked.

You rolled your eyes before turning around and pecking his cheek. "Don't wait up for me."

You left and Regulus was left alone. It was his choice though. He never wanted to do anything anymore. When you first started dating it was fine. You went out on dates and to go see friends or family every now and then, but lately, it'd been different. He was more distant and never wanted to do anything.

It's not that you needed him to go out with you, you wanted him to. You liked having him there. He was nice to be around, at least he was before. Before he started changing. He barely even talks to you anymore. When he is around he isn't really there. You don't feel any love from him like you used to.

When you got home it was probably 2 am and you were drunk out of your mind. Your friend dropped you off, not letting you drive of course. You walked into your house loudly, tripping over a box that was left by the front door.

"Ow," you mumbled, rubbing your shin.

You took your heels off and left them by the entranceway leading to the kitchen. You went into the kitchen and tried to get a class of water except your hand slipped and you dropped the glass. Regulus had gotten out of bed in an instant and turned the light on in the kitchen seeing you stand there.

"What are you doing? Are you drunk?" he asked.

"Maybe, maybe not, what do you care?" You pointed a finger into his chest. "You are thee, Regulus Black, you don't seem to give a shit about anything these days."

"Yeah, you're drunk," he sighed and lifted you onto the kitchen counter as he cleaned up the broken glass. "And you broke a glass."

"I just wanted some water," you huffed.

"You're drunk and tried to get water and had broken glass. You should have come and gotten me, you could have hurt yourself badly."

"I didn't want to wake you up. You didn't even come out with me tonight. I haven't been out in 3 months because I wouldn't go without you. And then my friends invite me to this nice restaurant. The food was good, 'nd they were all with their boyfriends and girlfriends. And then we went out to a bar. And I-"

"You're tired, let's get you to bed."

"Hey, I wasn't finished."

"We can talk about this tomorrow."

"You have work tomorrow."

Regulus was done talking at this point and just picked you up and took you to bed, making you change into a t-shirt and shorts before going to sleep. You eventually fell asleep quite easily, but now Regulus was there left in his own thoughts, just as earlier. The only difference was now he saw himself as the reason you'd gotten so drunk. Which is partially true.

When you woke up Regulus wasn't there. Of course, he wasn't. You hadn't woken up and he'd been there in a while, even on his days off.

You looked over at the nightstand, a glass of water, and a bottle of Advil.

"At least he was nice enough for that," you sighed.

The rest of the day went by quickly. You slept off the hangover and eventually got up and showered. Around 5 you started making dinner; chicken, rice, and green beans. It was simple and you didn't feel like cooking anything complex.

You expected Regulus to be home around 5:30, but hours passed and he wasn't home yet. 6, and then 6:30. 7 o'clock, 8 o'clock, and then 9. By 10 was when you heard the door open. You were sitting in the living room, reading a book. Regulus set his coat on the chair and started unbuttoning his shirt.

You looked up at him, no emotion on your face except maybe a slight annoyance. Regulus could tell there was something on your mind though, you'd been dating for over a year now, of course, he could tell.

"I made dinner, you know," you said sharply.

"I saw," Regulus answered in short.

"I called your office too, they said you left over 4 hours ago. Where were you?"

"I went to go see Sirius. Is it a crime to see my brother?"

You scoffed, "I was worried, you don't tell me anything anymore."

"Yeah, I heard about it all last night."

You shooked your head and stood up walking over to him. "What are we doing, Regulus?"

Regulus looked away from you, "I don't know."

"Then end it."

"No."

"Why? Why keep dragging it on? You don't even look at me anymore."

"Because I still love you!" Regulus yelled.

"This isn't love anymore!" You yelled back. "I'm lonely, you don't talk to me, you don't go out with me. The number of times I've woken up alone can't be counted on just my hands."

Regulus walked away towards the bedroom, you followed.

"If you love me so much why does it hurt? Love isn't supposed to hurt Regulus."

"I don't know! I don't know, okay?! All I know is I refuse to let you go."

"That's such bullshit! If you loved me it wouldn't fucking feel like this! It'd feel like in the beginning, when you would hold me, and kiss me, and we could talk about our day."

"You want me to kiss you? Fine."

Regulus pulled your arm and kissed you roughly. You pushed him away.

"Not like that. I don't want love like that! God, what the hell is wrong with you?!"

"I don't fucking know any more! But I love you, that's all I know."

"You don't love me. Or if you do, you don't know what love is."

"Have you met my parents? Of course I don't know what the fuck love is, but I know I feel something for you!"

Your eyes were getting watery. "I'm miserable. You're miserable, we're both fucking miserable. Okay? I can't. I can't do this anymore."

"I need you, I really need you."

"There's a difference between I need you and I want you. You don't want me, you just need the only safe place you've ever known."

You turned away from Regulus and wiped your eyes. He walked over to you slowly hearing you sniffle. He put his hands on your arms and his head rested on yours.

You turned around slowly and rested your head on his chest. Regulus held you close to him like that for a minute before you looked up at him and into his eyes. You pressed a gentle kiss to his lips and kept your foreheads touching after.

"I can't anymore, Regulus," you whispered, "I love you so much that it hurts and I can't do this anymore."

"Please don't go," he whispered back.

"You need to figure out what's wrong. You need so much more than I can help with and I need more than you're able to give right now. We're hurting each other more than healing, and I-"

"Shhh-sh-sh," he rubbed your back as he tried to calm you down. "I know, I get it. I'm so sorry."

"We'll figure it out, yeah? Maybe in a few months or a year, we can try it again. We're just not stable enough right now."

Regulus nodded. You went and sat on the bed as he stared at the ground.

"I'm gonna stay with Sirius tonight, you can stay here and we'll sort everything out after."

You said okay and Regulus went to pack some clothes. He left, you both said silent goodbyes.

You cried and cried. You called Mary to your house and told her everything. The whole night was a headache that thought would never go away. And for now, your life was a mess.

It'd get better one day, hopefully, but for now, it was all fucked.

[hazard-and-friends]

Year 2

Training status, also doubling as a not-quite midway checkin on our 2022 goals

Night time: He virtually always starts in the bed, and some nights will move to the crate. Even if there are blankets on the floor, he now prefers to sleep in his wire crate (yay!!). Twice (once due to sulking, once for unclear reasons) he's slept in the crate all night. Blessedly, he's happy to sleep in.

Crates: Can be crated (door closed) with or without a chew for 5 minutes if I'm in the room, same if I'm not in the room but requiring a chew. Can be crated in a moving van (with me present) for up to 90 minutes before losing it a bit (which is fair). Still working on being crated in the van WITHOUT me. Mostly need to practice.

Medication: Remains on 20mg/daily of fluoxetine, added Purina ProPlan Calming Care about 4 months ago and am furious to find it helpful (at $1/day it's not cheap!!).

Separation anxiety: If I leave first, then Jo can leave, a for real departure, for 15 minutes, or go sit in the car for 30 minutes. If Jo leaves first, I can leave for up to 15 minutes but I have to leave my laptop playing music and I can't take any dog training supplies. Still! Big progress. This puts us at less than 1/4 of the way to our year goal--but the big limit right now is frequency of practice, not success rate.

Cat: Cat.

Weight: 40.7 lbs this week (was 43 at his vet visit in mid March) so pending further developments we'll keep on with Hills SD diet, 1 kong, and assorted treats daily.

Formal training: 75% done with Ailsby's Level 2. Did CGC class, did 2 nosework classes, did a CU class, now doing rally classes. Busy boy! Biggest fancy training projects right now are building a solid stay in all positions and heel duration.

Handling: Has made the LEAST progress. Still can't do his nails. I'm || this close to hiring someone to help us find an access point, because it feels like I'm getting nowhere.

Stranger danger: Is 100% ok with just about everyone as long as they ignore him. Consistently struggles with black men in particular if they move past him quickly or jerkily, otherwise can ignore everyone. Getting better (slowly) about people paying attention to him.

Walks: 40 min in the morning pretty reliably, evening walk hasn't happened as often recently as I've had a lot of evening work. Gets at least one Big Thing a week, usually Saturdays, whether that's dog park or a hike or just running around at work. 3 walks a week are dog-directed walks on a back attach harness, and this last week I haven't taken treats and he's done lovely, which is grand. The other 3 are me-directed on the flat collar, and I'll continue bringing treats for a while yet. But pleased that I can fade them at all for anything, his motivation was so tricky for so long that I didn't want to risk it.

Titles: Now 8 points from his BCAT and 1 run from his CA, both of which (pending bad luck) should happen this month. Failed his CGC test (buddy.) but will test for TKN/TKI at end of June. I'm continuing to put work in on CGC stuff and may try again this summer. Probably the priority after the lure coursing titles is Nosework (AKC has a lower barrier of entry!), then Rally, then Barn Hunt. Why? Because the better I am at NW the more money I can make in classes (only sport that pays for itself honestly), and I like my rally instructor. I don't have a preferred place for barn hunt yet so it's last.

Other updates are that I'm definitely getting pet insurance this week and I am also scheduling him for a dental/nail trim which will be $$$$$$ but oh well. Once the pet insurance kicks in I'm going to talk to someone (vet?) about his hips because I'm still not keen on them.

[writenaw]

it's a normal day today, a rainy one though.

eversince i started my fitness journey, and lost 22 pounds in 2 months, normal days for me became working out and meal preps, so let me just share to you the meals i reveled on today. i usually eat only two meals a day because i'm doing intermittent fasting (16:8 at the least). i am also not much of a breakfast person, even eversince-when i had morning classes. i also usually don't snack in between meals, happens very seldom.

i woke up at around 1:40pm today, later than my usual 12 something noon, because i slept super late- it was around 6am, afaik. being lazy because of the comfy bed weather, i didn't immediately get out of bed but just stayed under my blanket for long. it was a quarter to 3 when i had the will to stand up, went straight to the dining table to check what my mom cooked for lunch.

to my surprise, she cooked something healthy today (people here prefer fatty and processed food), it was egg and bittermelon stir fry. happy because i didn't have to do any cooking, i just had to prepare the rest of my meal. after i threw 2 slices of bread in the oven toaster, i made myself my usual coffee which is a mixture black coffee, cinnamon powder, and lots of ice. there you have it, a balanced meal composed of a cup of stir fry, a serving of toast, and my cold caffeine booster.

not much of a story to tell in between my meals, only my afternoon workout. 2 hours after my first meal, i decided to have a 30-min full body hiit workout. tired yet recovered from being out of breath, i found the comfort of my bed after my cooldown exercises.

6:30 pm, marked as the time when i have to go to the kitchen and prepare my second meal. after getting what i need from the fridge, i started cooking. came up with having diced cucumber and boiled eggplant salad with spiced vinegar as dressing, tofu and grated carrot omelette, and a serving of toast for my last meal of the day. missed having tofu around, i haven't had that for quite a while. i'm glad i had a fulfilling meal♥.

that's it for today, happy because i ate healhy yet tasty meals. i really am determined in keeping the macros (carbs, fat, and protein) present and having vegetables every time to keep my meals balanced. i also may be doing a 20-min bed workout (when i get too lazy) or standing exercises later before going to sleep.

[the-storyteller-and-her-soldiers]

Day #6: Good morning everyone I hope that you have slept well! I ended up going to bed shortly after posting yesterday's update but one notable thing is that I could not get my Dad's laptop working and that I should call him sometime today and he will walk me through it!

I had some rather upsetting dreams in the first half of my sleep (dealt with a friend's self-inflicted death who is perfectly fine and I'm even on good terms with so it's not even symbolism...) and then a confusing second dream where I was with some classmates who I didn't even know at like a graduation party in their bedroom and we had a good time. I offered to help them clean their room and some of the guests were people I recognized so it was kind of nice seeing them. One happy thing about these dreams is that in the second one the boy who was hosting the party had some real nice screenshots of Nero! Although they weren't really from any of the games but getting to see that Cameo was comforting.

My dream was woken up by my mom calling me to check in which I do appreciate, but even that was rather upsetting. Since she was upset about her evening, apparently my brother is feeling down so she was like "Call and comfort him when you have time!" (He's 24 and I'm 18, I haven't seen him really in 6 years, he left me when we were homeless to go live with his Rich father [we're half-siblings as he always reminded me], and he never reaches out to me unless my mom prompts him to, and when he does reach out I barely get a word about myself but he vents all the time only to hang up when his friends call, and NEED I REMIND MY MOTHER I AM IN THE DAMN HOSPITAL?!)

Speaking of which, I forgot to mention this yesterday but after that swinging exercise my main pain area really flared up, and the whole point of the program is to not dwell on it so I just asked what can I do to help loosen the muscles in the area and my therapist just told me to continue doing the exercises that she said would be good for me which I will like I already have been doing for the past 3 years... So I understand that this is just something I will have to live with and work through but my mom, despite telling me not to put all my hope in this program, wants me to come home magically cured to where I'm completely normal with no pain which I was already trying not to dwell on because I didn't want to get yelled at by her, so the best thing I can do here is to just learn all the coping mechanisms I can so that I can minimize my pain at least to where it's not noticable...

The only thing is with my mom she always demands that I tell her what's going on with my body and how I'm feeling and will get pissed if I'm trying to say that I'm fine. But if I try to tell her just honestly what's going on (like how I haven't started bleeding yet despite stopping my medicine days ago now. [NO I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING LIKE THAT EITHER so shove that assumption right out the window.]) She gets pissed that I tell her. I do it calmly like "Just letting you know..." so I can't win...

She got me so upset with everything this morning I actually started crying and that really disappointed me because since I started my antidepressant in April, even with all of the fighting at home, I hadn't cried over it anymore. Now I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with crying , it's actually a good way to relieve stress, but I'm just disappointed that my own mother is the biggest stress aggrevator in my life to where I do feel that need to cry again no matter how hard I try to keep things happy with her. Although I am happy to say that it wasn't as severe as it used to be so it's good that my medicine is helping

Some of the nurses saw me crying and offered me some tissues and comfort words which was nice. But while I was trying to calm down I didn't notice I had a schedule change and that my 9:30 OT had been moved to 8:30 so I was late and she came to check on me and I ended up breaking down again. I was just so disappointed in myself that I wasn't on top of things like I should have been but luckily when I told her everything that happened, she was very understanding and we just did some guided muscle relaxation which kind of helped.

I have PT from 10:30 to 11 30 and hopefully that will help me feel a little bit better because I really am trying my best! At least the doctors see it, but I still can't help but worry that I'm not enough and no matter what I do, it won't be...

All I can do is keep moving forward and just do my best to keep a positive outlook! I'm sorry that today's update wasn't as positive but maybe things will get better and I'll have something happier to report on later! Either way I hope you have an amazing day, remember that no matter what you are more than enough and that you are doing wonderfully and that you are also getting all the love you deserve!

[bobasheebaby]

50 Charmed Prompts

Prompts featuring my three favorite witches. (The quarantine is boring okay?) All quotes come from the original show. Pretty much all of these are funny. I picked quotes that I loved that could work in non magical stories as well. Another long one, break at 15 again.

1 “I forgot your question.” “I asked if NAME was going to have sex with someone other than himself/herself this year.” “That’s disgusting. Please say yes.” — Phoebe and Piper Halliwell

2 “I thought babies slept. A lot.” “Yeah, obviously one of those lies they tell you so you’ll want to get pregnant.” — Prue and Phoebe Halliwell

3 “NAME, you coming?” “Can’t, have to go to the evil place where they keep my paycheck.” — Piper Halliwell and Paige Matthews

4 “What, what’s so funny?” “This whole family needs a shrink.” — Phoebe and Piper Halliwell

5 “Have you gone crazy again?” — Piper Halliwell

6 “Oh, are we back to blaming you again?” “Yeah.” “Just checking.” — Phoebe and Piper Halliwell

7 [rolls dice at craps table] “All right, come on now, baby needs a new pair of shoes, and by baby I do mean me.” — Paige Matthews

8 “Besides, everybody in PLACE is too odd, that's why we fit in so well!” — Paige Matthews

9 “NAME, since you have stalling down to a science, you and NAME go to the PLACE and buy some time.” — Piper Halliwell

10 “Uh, Piper? Promise me you're not going to overreact.” “Is that even possible?” — Phoebe and Piper Halliwell

11 “I'm outta here. You know what? You can not stop me, alright. I am never going back. I'm not going ... Alright, you know what? I am sick of this. He/She is all about duty and obligation, well not me. Alright, I want to be free, I wanna find love, I wanna have a life.” —Prue Halliwell

12 “Where are the keys?” “Keys?” “You know, shiny silver silver things that go jingle jingle.” — Phoebe and Pride Halliwell

13 “Hello? Gluttony, table for one.” — Prue Halliwell

14 “In case you didn't get the memo, I'm not one of the good guys anymore.” — Sam Wilder

15 “The wrong thing done for the right reason is still the wrong thing.” — Phoebe Halliwell

16 “I know this may not sound very P.C., but I want romance. Long, slow kisses, late-night talks, candle lights. I love love.” — Phoebe Halliwell

17 “Don't worry. We'll be safe here.” “Don't say that. In horror movies, the people that say that are always the next to die.” — Prue and Piper Halliwell

18 “Everything happens for a reason, remember, you told me that, NAME.” — Andy Trudeau

19 “I dreamt an animated musical last night. Is that normal?” — Piper Halliwell

20 “28 minutes, 33 seconds.” [Person B looks at Person A] “Really? We ran that long?” “No, that's how long you've been comparing NAME and NAME.” “I haven't been comparing — I've just been ... talking.” “Non-stop.” — Phoebe and Piper Halliwell

21 “Is there something that we don't know... that we should know... you know?” — Paige Matthews

22 “You don't really seem like yourself.” “I don't? Then, who am I?” — Piper Halliwell and Paige Matthews

23 “NAME.” “Don’t you ‘NAME’ me.” — Phoebe and Piper Halliwell

24 “You've got to hold my hand.” “This already sucks.” — Cole Turner and Prue Halliwell

25 “Oh, I think someone needs a time out little missy.” — Prue Halliwell

26 “I hate to be a bearer of bad news.” “Could you possibly be the bearer of a big hug?” — Leo Wyatt and Piper Halliwell

27 “I like an element of danger.” — Paige Matthews

28 “Got milk? Oooh, don’t think so.” — Phoebe Halliwell

29 “Kiss this bitch.” — Piper Halliwell

30 “It's your love that keeps me sane and whole and balanced.” — Leo Wyatt

31 “Oh, gross. What are you guys watching? Is that some horror movie?” “No, it's The Joys of Home Birthing. Strangely I'm not feeling the joy.” — Paige Matthews and Piper Halliwell

32 “You got anything that would go with combat boots? You know, for the mommy-to-be who kicks some ass on occasion.” — Piper Halliwell

33 “How about I buy you a drink?” “Thanks. I've all ready got one.” “That's not gonna be enough.” — Leo Wyatt and Dave

34 “I mean, you're not even showing yet ... except for your boobies.” “I'm telling you, they are large and they are definitely in charge.” — Phoebe and Piper Halliwell

35 “Everyone's treating me so differently. I'm still me. There's just a whole lot more of me going on.” [Person C walks into the room] “Hey, guys. Oh, I'm sorry. Were you ranting?” “Yes, I was, but I'm done now. Thank you.” — Piper Halliwell and Paige Matthews

36 “Yeah, well, rules are meant to be broken.” “Yeah, but bodies weren't.” “And neither were hearts.” Prue, Phoebe and Piper Halliwell

37 “What about water birth? Can we do that at home?” “Sure, we can rent a tub.” “What am I a dolphin? I'm not giving birth to fish.” “Well, actually, dolphins aren't fish. They're mammals.” “Shut up.” — Phoebe Halliwell, Eve, Piper Halliwell and Leo Wyatt

38 “If you want to talk to NAME, she's in the room throwing up.” “What, is she sick?” “She's pregnant NAME, sickness is their way of life.” — Paige Matthews and Phoebe Halliwell

39 “So what you're saying is, that whatever you're keeping from me is enough to piss me off but not put me in any danger. At the moment.” — Piper Halliwell

40 “Go to hell.” “We're already here.” — Phoebe Halliwell and Cole Turner

41 “Did you find out anything?” “Besides having a twenty-four hour death wish? Nope.” — Leo Wyatt and Phoebe Halliwell

42 “I'm goin' straight to hell cause it's got to be a sin to look THIS good.” — Cole Turner

43 “Life isn't a garden so stop being a hoe.” — Piper Halliwell

44 “Be careful of the feet you step on, they may be connected to the boot that kicks your ass.” -Piper Halliwell

45 “I need your help.” “You've obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn.” — Phoebe Halliwell and Cole Turner

46 “NAME, you're overreacting. That's my department.” — Piper Halliwell

47 “My sweater shrunk.” “Ah, come on. You've worn tighter things than that.” — Paige Matthews and Piper Halliwell

48 “Being with him/her broke the rules. Not being with him/her breaks my heart.” — Leo Wyatt

49 “What are we gonna do?” “What we always do.” “Talk about it later.” — Piper Halliwell and Leo Wyatt

50 “How can you be so evil?” “It's a gift.” — Piper Halliwell and Cole Turner

[ancient-mystical-features]

the meh series

February 4, 2022

Milkis

The plate has been drying up for about an hour now. I need to do the dishes. I need to start with the project proposal. Yet here I am mindlessly scrolling. I'm trying to be patient with people. We've given so much yet they give less than the minimum. This entry is a mess.

🌙

February 7, 2022

7:30

I woke up at 6, then slept every ten minutes until 7:15 as my series of alarms go off.

🌙

February 10, 2022

(parentheses)

I haven't been taking care of myself lately. I've always been sleeping really late, rarely eating breakfast, and having late lunches. I'm doing well emotionally though. It's just that, a lot has been going on academically (I've been monitoring each student's progress from my class and handling a huge chunk of responsibility with Gwyn as project heads for our culminating activity) and on orgs as well as my personal projects (I finished that on tonight though, turns out editing said ridiculous videos was gonna take way more than a couple hours which I had not expected, but it turned out really well). None are internal or personal issues, though, and I'm glad. Emotional stability keeps me going (for now). I've just been really busy. And it's only the fourth- (or is it the third?) week of class so it only gets worse from here.

The best part about this, though is I take ridiculously long breaks in the early afternoon to recharge. I take around an hour max of lunch time, enjoying my meal in front of a device while watching something. I wanna start watching The Woman in the House from the... whatever the long title was. PLDT is currently down so this will surely take a huge chunk of my mobile data.

🌙

February 12, 2022

*sigh*

I'm taking a break today.

🌙

February 13, 2022

day two

I'm doing well. I'm taking another break like I usually do on Sundays.

🌙

February 14, 2022

meh

I didn't do much today, nor did I feel like doing much. I could be feeling burnt out or lazy, I can't tell which. But since I still have a few hours before afternoon ends, I'll try doing something.

🌙

February 25, 2022

feeling better

I was a mess and all over the place and emotional and I tried writing and had to redo it countless number of times so I decided to clean my room instead. I'm feeling better now. I've been putting off cleaning my room for weeks now. But I've finally cleaned it and I feel better. This entry is a mess ep. 2.

🌙

March 1, 2022

meh

Another day of that. I get lots. I have initially written something for this but I am hesitant on sharing it.

🌙

March 3, 2022

attention span

Lately, I have been wasting my days in ways I do not want. There are ways to waste my time wisely, but I have not been doing well with those. I'm getting addicted to watching my Facebook friend's mydays even though I honestly don't care about most of the stuff in it, since it's mostly content I don't relate to. I've also been spending so much time on YouTube shorts on videos I don't even like. I've always told people that I never create an account on TikTok so I won't get addicted, which is true, but right now YouTube shorts is doing the same effect. For some reason it's just so easy to fall to the trap of these social media platforms and waste a good portion of my day in it. I always feel miserable after a good amount of time so even *I* am left to wonder why I stay anyways. Where's the Meca who immediately does a task once it's assigned to them? Where's the person who does some of the tasks at least a week in advance fueled with self-gratification of doing stuff and feeling good while doing it? Where's the person whose creative juices overflow out of the cup or the one who can juggle a million stuff at once? She's not gone, she's just not here yet.

🌙

March 8, 2022

:)

Remember the entry from yesterday? It didn't last for days. It lasted for three hours. t h r e e. After that, I was swallowed into an overwhelming state of anxiety that came out of nowhere. I couldn't sit still nor could I do anything. My friend pointed out that I might have been burnt out, which was something I hadn't considered. That night, I booked a counseling session with our guidance counselor so I could get help and to put me out of this pattern. Turns out I was being too hard on myself. I'm currently writing a letter to myself for the future, but I guess also an apology letter to my past.

🌙

March 9, 2022

sick

Yesterday I had some rest to cope with a burn out. Today a probably-fever was poofed on me by The Fates. I wasn't able to do anything today either. And my To-Do list is stacking up.

🌙

March 15, 2022

..

Today was meh. I'll try doing something later.

🌙

April 3, 2022

rest

Today was nice.

🌙

April 4, 2022

today was not nice.

I'm slacking. And I'm feeling very meh today which I feel a few times every month. I generally just lose all my energy and everything and just become pessimistic and sensitive and I don't wanna do anything but not doing anything makes me feel worse while at the same time it comforts me. I don't know man. It'll be over soon. I need to be nicer to myself.

🌙

April 9, 2022

meh

eh. I don't feel like writing.

🌙

[nathank77]

4/3/24

8:48 p.m Updated/Edited/Slightly Added to 9:16 p.m

I took the 1MG and passed out rapidly. I slept for about 5 hours. I needed to pee and I couldn't fall back to sleep bc of it so I took a Benadryl... and slept until 4:45 p.m.

So my doctor sent me the paperwork to get my hsv2 test. I scheduled it for Friday.

My endo called me today when I was sleeping and he wants me to try the Atorvastatin again and stop if I get muscles spasms again. He said my thyroid ultrasound went well. Yet there are two nodules so I'm confused. Are they talking about my 3 year inflamed lymph node they always scan and the original nodule on my thyroid?

Also they said nothing about my eye exam... Maybe that means call the eye doctor cause he already did it? I'm going to call the eye doctor tomorrow.

Anyways I woke up at 4:30 p.m. My new Ray-Bans will be here tomorrow, as well as all my boxers/socks and my new shoes. The nerdy rimless are still in, "the works." EVGA received my package and idk if they shipped another.... the RMA is, "complete." But I don't see tracking and never got another product. I'm going to call them tomorrow.

I decided I needed to go grocery shopping as the weather today sucked but will be the same tomorrow. I had therapy at 7 p.m. There is a huge puddle around my car and my engine has been ticking, so I had to put oil in it. Idk if it resolved it bc of the hail and shitty weather. I used the whole bottle and didn't see anything on the dipstick... I'm sure there is enough. I know I haven't done an oil change or filled it in a while and my car has 7 oil leaks. It usually needs oil once every 2 months or so. I will find out if it fixed the ticking on Friday when it isn't a fucking monsoon and I can hear my car.

The puddle was so bad that it was taller than my shoes plastic bottom. Water sunk into my sneakers and soaked my socks all the way up to the top of my feet. So I had to go to Walmart and stop and shop like that.

I only grabbed the necessities. I need a decent amount of stuff still but I'll be good until Friday. I'll go to Quest, then grocery shopping and then cvs for my Xanax.

I got home changed my socks and shoes and attended therapy. Mike was saying my report isn't formated correctly.. I'm going to read the thing he sent me but I have put a lot of work into it. He was like you don't need a notary, ummm yes you do I called and talked directly to the office and I need to have a notary so the people I listed can release information.... I'll read what he sent me but I'm pretty sure I did everything right. He said I need bullet points and headlines... I don't think that's true...

Either way it was a generally ineffective therapy session. Not the worst one. I'm not mad but he said you got to make sure you do it right otherwise they won't even read it.....I'm pretty sure I am doing it right.

Beyond that he said something concerning, once I report her it will be available publicly... Idk how true that is but if it is, I mean I still need to do it for my internal peace and suffering... I'm concerned about that.... but I can't let her live her beautiful life and potentially endanger another client... she truly is negligent...

He also said benzodiazepines are going to get phased out in 10 years like quludes... like bro please stop giving me anxiety. They are the only reason I fucking sleep.

I feel like the first 35 minutes was the Mike show. I can't wait to leave. I'm going to give him maybe a month, I need him to read the report so he knows what I said. I'll still read the website he sent me but I'm 90% sure I did everything right.............

Anyways now that I've had a little time to go over my test results I took pictures of everything concerning. I'm the most concerned about my Alkaline phosphate jumping so high within like 15 days... I'm concerned about a few other things but I got to do my research. It's funny cause I'm on less Methimazole than I was before. So in theory it's likely not the Methimazole or maybe I'm going into remission and I need to stop it idk....

[bellamybb]

i slept in till 1:30 pm, and its currently 2:00 pm, so i haven't really done anything yet today except watch tv and sleep haha

(i know this is from a few days ago, don’t hate me!) that sounds like my life everyday lmaoo

kru: skaikru | wonkru | clarkekru home: ark | bunker | edenweapon: sword | gun | brain | fistsoccupation: guard | warrior | engineer | mechanicbest friend: clarke | bellamy | raven | octavia | monty | harper | echo | niylah | murphy | miller | emori | jackson

url: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 icon: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 theme: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 posts: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 navigation: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 overall: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10following?: no but ilysm | i am now |  osir gonplei nou ste odon nowe

want one?