#I have two pairs of jeans that I'd like to alter and figure something out with

[bookwyrminspiration]

Response to an ask from Ophelia:

(this is the one about wearing the same clothes all the time)

You don't need to apologize for sending asks! I've said it before and I'll say it again: you can send as many asks as you want as frequently as you want, and my own request in return is patience as I answer them.

as for the clothes thing, exactly!! that!! I wore the same thing so many times and my parents were always a little confused by it like...I had so many other options and yet here I was. Wearing the exact same thing as much as possible. I think I would've worn things even more if my parents hadn't accidentally conditioned me to think that as soon as I had worn something once that meant it was dirty and I needed to put it in the hamper. But even so...I was just wearing the same things as much as possible.

I don't think I ever got to the point where my parents were bargaining with me to not wear a specific thing anymore, but there was definitely some hard lines my parents had to put in place. My mom told me there was a shirt or something that I'd worn so much that it was riddled with holes, so she had to stop me from wearing it because it wasn't appropriate anymore.

And same with the fashion being "better" now, but also still safe for sensory needs and comfort. Like technically all the clothes are different, but they are very controlled. I don't know about you but I fall more heavily into the masking side of nd things, so a lot of what I did growing up was taking the things I did that people noticed--like wearing the same clothes every day--and adapting them so I could continue doing them without people noticing as much

which has now turned into having specific clothing items that I cycle through and pair specifically with each other so I'm always wearing a variation of like the same 2 or 3 outfits and it feels the same to me but to everyone else it looks different enough it doesn't draw notice. No one notices that I wear one pair of shorts with all my outfits when the shirts all have different prints on them, or if my tights have different designs. It's things like that! It's all calculated and strategic on my end, but normal to everyone else, if that makes sense.

And then there are the "rules" I follow with different clothing items, like which shirts I can wear with which bottoms without it feeling weird, whether I can wear a necklace or attach a chain to the short depending on the shirt, etc. It makes sense in my head but probably wouldn't if I were to assemble an outfit in front of someone.

it also feels so complicated to buy new clothes sometimes because I always just want a replacement for whatever it is that needs replacing--ie, shoes are completely worn through a need a new pair--but there is never going to be an exact replica so I'm stuck trying to find something similar. I have only ever found 1 pair of jeans that I actually liked and felt nice, and I have been chasing the feeling ever since. I've actually been wearing shorts a lot this winter because I only have one pair of pants that feel nice. For me it's less the texture of clothes (though it can have an impact) and a lot more the fit. And jeans are so!!! finicky!! But also I don't want them to go to waste so I'm going to try and alter them into something I'd be okay wearing.

And I'm perfectly fine with these kinds of asks! They're not annoying at all, and I agree that's its cool when we can find similar experiences in our lives. Honestly, I thought of you when I was talking about it in that original post because we've had so many shared nd experiences in the past and I wondered if this would be another. It turns out it was, which is really cool!!

It's not irritating in the slightest, I actually really like it. I do the same thing and share my own experiences when people talk about theirs, so you are 100% welcome and invited to do the same!!

[apollostears]

ICY HOT [ l. wong ]

↬︎ group: wayv

↬︎ pairing: vampire!lucas x black!huntress!oc

↬︎ warning(s): blood, violence, angst, swearing

↬︎ wc: 1255

↬︎ apart of the ‘cold blooded’ series

PLOT. continuation of ‘cold & colder’ where selene and lucas are about to have their arranged wedding, eight months after the events at the gala. sinister forces are at work to stop this wedding from happening, even if it means death.

2021 halloween masterlist

“selene, i’m telling you what i already know; these flowers will not go with this dress!” selene’s mother had been adamant on her distaste for the flowers her daughter had chosen for her bouquet.

according to her mother it was tacky to want to have black roses as a bouquet.

“great thing you aren’t wearing it, yes? also, this is my wedding, however forced it may be, and i will not allow you to have your way. understood?”

it was rough how she spoke with her mother, but their relationship was strenuous and if it was up to selene, she’d only be her mother by name. queen mei was a lot nicer and more motherly to her than she had ever experienced in her twenty-one years of life. selene wished the undead woman was here instead.

“well, i think it would look lovely paired with you selene! and i’m sure we can make any alterations needed to dress, to make those flowers fit!” her wedding planner, kai, had encouraged.

in the few months selene had been planning this ceremony, kai had to endure a lot of tense conversations and awkward stares. selene would make sure the prestigious wedding planner was paid handsomely.

“thank you, kai. now, what’s next?” she asked, handing the flowers back to the florist before following kai out the shop.

her mother was the last thing on selene’s mind as the two chatted away about the day’s plans. “actually, you and the prince will be meeting at the castle for a private dance session with estelle and eben to go over the first and final dance. after that, you are free for the day.”

selene let out a sigh of relief. planning for a wedding was exhausting. especially one that’s fit for a prince and soon-to-be princess of the vampire race. it was still very weird to her. a huntress marrying a vampire; a prey being with its predator. she was sure that several people throughout the supernatural world were not pleased with this union. and neither was she to be honest, but then she understood why this was happening and figured she push her pride aside for the greater good.

“am i to change then before heading over there?” selene had been dressed in light blue jeans and a cream colored turtleneck with trainers on.

without paying her any mind, kai gave her an answer that had the huntress smiling and rolling her eyes at her. “aye-aye boss lady.”

after selene's comment, the rest of the ride to selene's apartment was silent. reese, her driver, had dropped mrs. cole off first, much to selene's pleasure. their exchange was brief with her mom promising to call later about her table seating for everyone that rsvp'd.

truthfully, selene was surprised by the turnout for the reception. she didn't have many friends, but she did invite the few that still liked her despite her situation. lucas invited whoever he knew and then the rest were just elders that the two would have to grow familiar with during their reign as king and queen.

"hate to put you on a time limit, but you really only have ten minutes before we have to be at the gate to make it on time." kai advised, fingers moving across the ipad.

selene nodded and quickly exited the car with the help of reese, to enter her apartment building. her place of sanctuary for the last four years of her life. she was only twenty-one, about to turn twenty-two, and her she was about to get married to an immortal being. being's that she, just a few months ago, was slaying in the streets at night.

entering her penthouse suite, selene hastily got changed. going through the motions, she slipped on some sweatpants and a cotton crop-top with sneakers. grabbing a water bottle and her keys, selene was on her way out the door when she noticed something.

"took you awhile to notice me darling. planning a wedding makes you soft, doesn't it?" his voice was smooth, non-threatening in the slightest, but that doesn't stop the chill that runs down her spine.

"the fuck are you doing here?" she was nervous. how long had he been here? how did she miss him? why was he here?

the man tsk'd and stood from the loveseat positioned by her window overlooking the city. his posture was straight, footsteps heavy, and stature terrifying. selene was not one easily frightened, but he. . . he was her version of the boogeyman.

she backed up slowly, moving closer to the door for an easy escape. "don't run from me angel. i just came to share something interesting with you."

"who's to say that you're telling the truth?"

suddenly, he stopped moving, almost looking like he was in thought before he lunged at selene and pushed her up against the wall with a harsh grip on her neck.

she was surprised and scared, her nails leaving tiny trails of blood on his hands as she clawed at them for release. he hadn't restricted her airway yet, careful not to squeeze too hard to avoid bruising. his breath tickled her ear as he leaned forward to whisper in it.

"someone isn't who they say they are, princess. several people are working actively against you as we speak. now, i'd hate for my favorite monster slayer to perish over some trivial diplomacy. so, be a good girl and figure out who it is after you and your precious vampire prince." he warned, releasing his grip on her neck at the end.

selene glared at him as she attempted to soothe her burning skin. "how can i trust you? you just attempted to choke me out and broke it my house. how do i know it's not you plotting against me?"

as she questioned him, the man made his way back over to her window and pushed it open. "if i wanted you dead, i would have killed you the second you stepped foot in the door. see you later selene."

and just as easily as he came in, he was gone like nothing happened. all that was left of his presence was her aching throat and her open window.

"hey selene! you in there? we gotta go!" kai's voice pulled selene back to reality and she cleared her sore throat before speaking.

"yes! yes, sorry! i'm coming out now." she called out, hastily picking up the items she dropped and rushing to her door. selene stopped in her tracks at her face in the mirror. her dark skin showed no signs of bruising, but the fear in her eyes said everything she needed to know.

shaking her head, selene attempted to pull herself together before opening her door and stepping out into the hallway.

"that's my bad. i forgot where i put my water bottle." she laughed, locking her door.

her hands were shaking and she cursed herself for being so weak. she's supposed to be this feared huntress and she can't even lock her fucking door.

"hey, you okay? are you nervous about seeing lucas?"

kai was kind. too kind for her own good, but selene had to remind herself that she hadn't grown up in the world she did. where kindness gets you killed.

"yes. just hungry probably. lets go, we're already late."

but what selene didn’t know, and wouldn’t until later, was that people really were watching her every move. and if kai hadn’t of came when she did, she would be dead.

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NOTE. this is part two in the series! as i was writing this, i figured i would make this into a mini series. hope you guys enjoy!