#I have to take the bus which. would be fine. except yknow. service in my area sucks

[good-wine-and-cheese]

Office day tomorrow

[babytowntm]

yknow, maybe I'm not the only one but this is the first time ever for me, that chistmas hasn't felt good at all this year. Toxic sibling dynamics and toxic family issues aside, even celebrating with friends wasn't as fun as I had hoped this year.

My birthday was fine, but other than that? Somehow this christmas felt very dull and I am not even looking forward to it this year, maybe some of you can relate?

For example, I haven't gotten to enjoy our usual christmas traditions or went to any christmas markets without having to think if one of these purchases will throw me into an economic recession since the prices for it have become really crmininal. 20 Bucks for what? Three cups of cocoa? Outrageous really. They used to cost 2€ each and now? almost 6-7€ that's wild. So yeah, evidence number one: I could not enjoy christmas due to the ever so present threat of finances.

Secondly, I feel like positive news haven't really been as important for the media lately as bad news have been. Aside from this stupid ass world cup, I haven't noticed one good thing about the news lately, it's all negative. And I am well aware that a lot of shit is going on in the world right now, and it should absolutely be brought to light, but really? Not even one good news this entire month? Maybe I'm watching the wrong channels, but that's what it felt like to me.

Moreover, so many places (except supermarkets) refuse to play any christmas music. I get it, if you're working in retail or any other kind of customer service, you don't want mariah carrey blasting every minute, but it's so sad when you hear your usual pop charts instead. For example, my boyfriend and I went ice skating the weekend after my birthday happened, and whilst I had a lot of fun, the music kinda took me out of the entire experience.

Also, this year I really noticed how often channels would replay the same old christmas movies again and again and again, to the point where I was aware of how the movies ended each time. The wonder, surprise and everything was gone, and moreover, despite them being silly and cheap feel-good christmas movies where the busy protagonist moves back to her hometown and falls in love with a lumber jack, I kinda felt like, the contrast between the movies and my actual life was scarring. So much so that they made me more depressed than anything.

Decorating has been really hard as well, considering how expensive everything has gotten so we tried to make the best out of the little stuff that we had, but it still felt gloomier. Usually we buy a new ornament each year, this year we didn't.

We couldn't even visit the Halden this year which is somewhat of a little trip we do in our city. We drive up a mountain in a bus full of people and watch a light show, whilst walking through lit up woods and look at glowing statues and take photos. Not this year.

Somehow I feel like, that this year has been one of the gloomiest yet. Everything has been so expensive that the thought of paying 6€ for a cocoa is overshadowing every christmas joy you might have had., traditions were too expensive to continue and even your usual hallmark movie made me more depressed when looking at the current world issues right now. What do you guys think? Am I overreacting? Is this just the reality that you face once you become an adult? Or is this year really a bit gloomy? please let's discuss.