#I have so many thoughts. all the time. and scholarship won't take me seriously

[daincrediblegg]

my talents are wasted on being a student I should be doing video essays

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

Yandere Brother

Tw: heavy incest, definitely yandere, age gap, stalking, sexual content, feelsbad parental trauma, infantilization, AFAB fem reader, A Lot Of Words (abt 4000+)

Self indulgent post. Feeling pretty down right now, just need someone 2 coddle me. This doesn't belong to any fandom or whatever. It is just general ramblings about an older brother who seems to love you a little too much.

Don't take this post too seriously. Just enjoy it as a fictional fantasy.

pt 1 out of 2 3

Click here for part 2

Ever went batshit insane on your sibling? Cause they took that last popsicle stick you were saving for later, or cause they stole your charger? Living with a sibling for so long bound to breed some conflict, especially if your parents clearly favor one of you against the other.

"You got shit grades? Why can't you be like your smarter older brother? No phone for a week."

"I don't care if it's your birthday present or something you bought with your hard earned money, share your laptop with your little sister. Don't be selfish. What's yours is ours too."

"No, you can't go out with your friends. You have to stay home and look after your younger siblings. That's your responsibility, you're their older sibling. Don't be such an irresponsible piece of shit."

"What? You want new clothes? Why? Don't waste money, just wear your big Sister's clothes."

"Give your stuffed toy to your little brother. You're too old to be having that."

The worst types are those who would use your parents blatant favoritism against you on top of already being the better child. Smugly smirking at you as you get berated by your parents for something THEY did. Your parents won't believe you as you're the worthless one.

Maybe even bully you in school and sabotage every good thing that happens in your life. Like stealing your significant other, ruining your chances of getting a scholarship, spreading nasty rumors about you...

When you have that variant of an asshole sibling, its time to cut them off.

But imagine. An older brother that shines so brightly, making you look so dim in comparison.

He works hard, gets an A plus-plus for every single subject. Excel in every extra curriculum including but NOT limited to: piano, violin, cooking, karate, swimming, basketball, painting and chess. Extremely popular in school, all the girls want him and all the boys wanna be him. Teachers has the utmost respect and love for him, some even swoon at the thought of your big brother.

He is so handsome and well built, absolutely far beyond the image you can ever hope to achieve. Kind, charming and manipulative a joy to be around too. What an Adonis, he is.

Your older brother is everything you are not. The yang to your yin, except he took that white circle from your yin and made you completely pitch black.

It is natural, everyone would either compare between the both of you or don't remember that you exist. Always thinking your big brother is an only child and you're... Just there. Out of place.

You must be an accident, an unwanted child that was produced from a night of passionate carelessness by your parents.

However, your big brother isn't doing all these just to spite you or snatch all your parent's love and attention.

It is all for you.

Never did he once call you by any derogatory names, your big brother would only call you by an affectionate nickname or an endearment such as 'darling', 'sweetheart', 'my love', 'dear' and many more.

Which creeped you out. Your parents think nothing of it, it's just some brotherly love, right?

Yeah, the running of his slender fingers through your hair, hours of cuddling on the couch, kisses given to your forehead, cheek, neck, shoulder, knuckles and temples, brushing strands of your hair away from your face, excessive fixing of your clothes on you, frequent hugs from your back while you're fixing a bowl of cereal for yourself, sensual caressing of your cheek and thigh, the arm permanently wrapped around your waist and him being the big spoon in bed are all fucking platonic, alright.

Your parents love how he would never complain if they made him take care of you while they fuck off to do whatever things romantic couples do.

He is an outstanding chef, only cooking the things you like perfectly, just how you like it. He has no regard to his own or even your parent's preference in food. As long as you're happily and healthily eating, he's fine.

The last piece of cake is always for you, no matter how delicious it was. His fries? You want it? All yours. Your favorite pizza that happens to also be your parents' favs? Back off, mom and dad, you are a growing girl. You need your nutrients, hence you get the last slice. Hell, you even get to eat his slice if you want to.

He wouldn't touch anything of yours in the fridge, but you are free to eat whatever you want that are his. He genuinely doesn't care if you ate the last scoop of chocolate ice cream he was thinking about for the entire day. He doesn't give a crap if you ate all the snacks he bought with his own allowance. He bought them with the thought of you in his mind.

Why else do you think all the food he buys are only foods that you specifically like and very rarely the foods that he or your parents like?

If he comes back with a paper bag of takeaway, it's yours. No question about it. Even if he is sipping on a smoothie, you're always welcome to take a sip... Or finish the rest of it. Do you want another one? Big brother can always buy a bigger cup for you. Are you hungry? Want big brother to buy you a burger? No? Are you sure?

You tried being a good little sister by giving back. Never again.

You got your big brother an energy bar from a nearby convenience store once. Gave it to him before a field trip into the wilderness. He was over the moon, singing praises up and down for a whole fucking week and his doting on you increased tenfold. It was suffocating.

But... Not bad of a deal. An energy bar for a brand new Ipad he got you by breaking his piggy bank. Though, you wouldn't want to go through his lovesick fever again, so that was the last time you're doing anything remotely nice to him with your own will.

Your big brother will gas you up. He supports you in whatever you want to do as long as it won't hurt you or separate the both of you in the long run. That means, no drugs, no cigarettes, no parties, no sleepovers and no boyfriends. Or boy, friends.

If you're attracted to girls too, don't let him know for the sake of your social life.

Other than that, you want to pursue your dreams of being an artist? Big brother will support you from behind, guiding your hand that's holding the brush. He took years and years of art classes and he was the best of all, isn't that such a nice privilege?

Want to be a famous sports player? Sure! Big brother will correct your form and tend to any injuries lovingly, always making sure to give you a sweet kiss on it.

Oh, you want to be a best-selling author? Big brother has contacts, you know. All you have to do is just ask and maybe return the favor with a kiss.

An... Internet influencer? An actress? An international celebrity? He's a little hesitant on that one. Big brother will make sure to educate you on the dangers and demands of the entertainment. Frame it in such a way that it scares you off, look at what it has done to one of big brother's classmate. She took her own life because of the stress and injustice! Big brother says to stay away from it.

Unless you're hiding behind a fake identity.

But... Parents aren't as supportive? Wants you to excel in your studies just like big brother? They're seeing you as a lesser being than your older brother?! This is a travesty!

Whenever they make rude remarks about your performance at school, big brother always has your back, he is going to stick up for you and yell at them despite knowing he would get some flak later.

However, it doesn't mean big brother will neglect your academic needs. He will gladly pull you up the ranks and beat even the highest overachiever in your school. If that is what you want.

The thing about your older brother is, he is only supportive of you for things that YOU want (and things he considered 'safe'). No, he knows that you don't want to be a surgeon, this sudden declaration means nothing to him because he knows it was a product of your parents or peers pressuring you. He won't hear it. He will only tend to things YOU want. It is YOUR world and everyone is just living on it.

Regardless, Your big brother would patiently tutor you and help with any homework. With one condition, you sit on his warm lap the whole time. No, he won't yell. He won't get frustrated. Your big brother won't give up on you. You and him will work it through, together.

Let's say, you came back home with a big C- scrawled on your corrected exam paper. Your parents are indifferent. Family friends are secretly mocking you behind everyone's backs. Your teachers can only shake their heads at your grade.

But Big Brother... He would welcome you home with a warm hug, pick you up and twirl you around as he coos about how proud he is of you. It is an improvement from your D+ before, he is so glad to see your grades go up. Your older brother would kiss you on the forehead and tell you that you did a great job, he would tell you to relax as he makes you a warm, hearty meal as one of your many rewards.

It doesn't matter if your grades dropped instead. You could come home crying with a massive, fat "F" on your paper and he would still envelope you securely in his strong arms. Mumbling that it is okay to fail, you can always get back up and try again. He would repeatedly assure that he would love you and your 'F's will change nothing. He is proud of you nonetheless, you're always going to be his beloved little sister.

Big brother tries not to leave you alone with your parents if you come home with a failing grade. They're only going to make you feel terrible, like a moron. Whereas you're not, you're your big brother's darling angel who deserves the utmost respect and love.

Any passive-aggressiveness from your mom would be met with an angry scowl and an aggressively hurtful remark about an insecurity of hers. Big brother does not give a shit if his venomous insults were low blows that leaves your mom awake in anguish for many nights, she hurt his precious baby sister.

Any disapproving scolding from your father will lead to a yelling match between him and his golden son. Sometimes if big brother deems your dad's words to be crossing over the line, a fistfight might just break out. Big brother would always be the victor because he is simply too strong and large.

Or maybe its because your parents do not want to lose such trophy of a son. The only thing which makes them better than all your family friends and your parent's colleagues.

Your parents do get compliments about how your brother gets along very well with you.

Relatives and other adults found it strange yet adorable that the both of you never had any sibling rivalry. Your big brother would always treat you like a princess and give you the best toys, the best candies and the best gadgets. Any appropriate gifts addressed to him goes straight to you. Constantly spoiling you rotten.

They didn't like how he was super overprotective of you, though. He wouldn't let anyone carry you, only HE gets to hold you. Your big brother simply doesn't trust your safety and comfort with anyone else, he is even wary about the abilities of your parents. He was like a feral guard dog with exemplary parenting skills, skills better than actual parents.

He is the type to wrap his coat around you because HE feels cold.

You wish that you had a bit more freedom. Because of your possessive older brother, your relationship with your cousins is close to nonexistent. You missed out playing fun games with them, you missed out slumber parties, you missed out knowing what "going for a walk with the cousins" on Thanksgiving means.

No one dares to interact with you. Your older brother would surely have something up his sleeves to blackmail them with. You're always seen with him, either in his lap or in his arms. He is also either seen spoon feeding you or tilting your sippy cup against your lips or playing with you and your toys. He stopped doing most of that when you turned 8... Because you had a very public mental breakdown due to the humiliation of being treated like a helpless toddler.

Big brother still haven't broken the habit of gathering your food for you and pouring your drinks, though. It hurts him to see you grow up, but everyone must move on.

You were unfortunate enough to be in the same school as your big brother for a few years. The school you went to is fucked up enough to cram elementary, middle and high schoolers all together in one compound but different buildings.

The age gap of 10 years would mean that, when you're 5, he would be 15 learning about the mitochondria, powerhouse of the cell. Big brother dart out of class whenever it is break time or lunch time to seek you out. He would bring you away and make you sit on his lap as he chats with his friends.

If you want his attention, he would gladly give you ALL of it. Which... Kind of made his friends jealous of five year old you. They won't say anything about it because it's ridiculous and your brother is too hot and popular for them to do anything bad.

You get what those glares mean. So you try your best not to distract your older brother during lunch breaks, quietly eating away at your lunch (and his own if you're still hungry).

All your big brother's friends know about you. Because that is literally all he talks about. Endless praise and no criticism at all. He shows off your drawings to his friends and made them hype you up as well.

They know he can get a little... Unhinged at times when it comes to his love for you. But they knew not to question it, their reputation depends on his mood!

The easiest way to make him like you (if you are his classmate instead) is either to compliment you or give you something you like. But be careful, you don't want to give the wrong idea that you are a rival for his baby's attention.

You were bullied by your peers once in elementary school. You came crying and bruised to your older brother, he comforted you by gently kissing the pain away as he coos sweet nothings. He promised that he will fix everything as he offered you the candy bar someone gave him as a love confession. (of course, he declined politely)

And he did, he solved it. You don't know what happened to your bullies but they came to school, scared shitless upon seeing you. A week later, they were all gone. Your teacher telling the class that these kids' families had to move to another away for something. One was due to 'work', one was because of 'family matters'... It was left vague.

You knew your big brother had something to do with it, but... What could he have done to scare their families to flee the state? He was only a teen!

The both of you had respective bedrooms, but your big brother is constantly stationed in yours, that his room becomes a museum of your creations a library for his textbooks. He still kept that crayon drawing you made of a flower when you were four.

Unlike your parents, he had never dismissed your fear of monsters under the bed as something silly. He instead cupped your cheeks and pressed foreheads, promising that he would always protect you. To ease your worries, he would do routine checks in your closet and under your bed.

He would always offer to sleep with you. He's always the big spoon.

But there was a point in your childhood that you would continuously turn him down. Because you're a 'big girl' and you can face your imaginary monsters by yourself. Your big brother would just stare in shock before smiling, he can see that you're still scared. Tucking you in and kissing you good night is always a must, stroking your hair and singing a lullaby to ease your trembling self to sleep.

You would wake up and find him holding you close to him anyways.

You had always felt safe in his arms, but as you grew older, you felt that it was... weird.

As you reach your preteen years, you yearn for privacy. You wish that your brother would leave you alone to scroll mindlessly at your social media app. Instead, he would snuggle himself up against you and watch whatever you're watching. It's stressful because he would steer you away from anything 'inappropriate' for you. He would comment on everything that appears on your screen, to try to teach you the obvious. Yes, you get it. The t-rex chasing those teens aren't real, they're just CGI.

Texting your friends is hard too. He can see everything, you had to warn them beforehand.

He went absolutely ballistic when one of your friends sent you a five second GIF of animated breasts floundering about. The said friend suspiciously had to leave the state.

Speaking of friends, he only allows interactions between girls. But even so, he does more research than the FBI on them. He knows and remembers the lineage of each and every one of them, their contacts, their parents' infidelity Family Matters, their history from the very beginning and especially their personality.

No, he doesn't care if you and your friends are 5 or 18, they're all getting a thorough background check. It's for your own good.

You managed to get over your fear of the night because your desire for privacy was more intense. The only way you could browse the net without him breathing down your neck is by staying up at night. After tucking you in and accompanying you until you're asleep, he would go back to his own room to work on his university assignments. Lucky bastard received a scholarship from a prestigious university 30 minutes away from home.

It took you a while to master the art of deception. After a few nights of accidentally falling asleep and many weeks of getting caught faking it as he watches you, you managed to fool him.

But not for long, no matter how faint your eyebags were, he knew what you were doing. So your brother fucking grounded you. Your brother, and not your parents. Your big brother took away your gadgets and began sleeping in your room again.

Of course, this was one of the very few rare times he got upset with you. It is not a good feeling, you cried which secretly tugged at his heartstrings. However, he has to be firm because he loves you but you crossed his boundaries.

Your parents would rarely have any idea what your big brother is doing to you. As long as you seem normal and he's not becoming a 'disgrace', they won't care.

Your grounding continued on until he graduated and found a place to live on his own. During your punishment, your friendships deteriorated because there were no other way to contact your friends. You get to speak of this insanity to them only at school.

During which, big brother would keep you entertained by getting you dolls, do arts n' crafts with you, make homemade slime, story telling, instrument playing and generally live like a kid in the 70's.

Sometimes he would hand you his phone, which a picture of you as his lock and home screen wallpaper. You were allowed to play 'age appropriate' games which he installed in it when he's too busy to play with you.

Every other app was protected with a password EXCEPT:

His photo gallery.

Being the curious little girl you are, you decided to check it out.

Only to be met with thousands upon thousands of pictures and videos of you. There were selfies of himself alone and with his friends scattered around here and there. Maybe some pictures of his university stuff too, but the sheer number of media about you is horrifying.

Yeah, curiosity creeped the cat out. You're not going back there again.

He tried getting your parents to agree with his plan of adopting you and letting you live with him after he got a job and a cozy apartment. Your brother even prepared a presentation slideshow and everything, proving that he could provide for you much better than your parents can.

Of course your parents said no, because, what the fuck?

As a result, he cussed them out. Your dad and your brother got into a physical altercation which gave your dad a broken nose, broken arm and a black eye. Your brother walked away only with a few bruises and a cut under his right eye, he brought you back to his apartment and whipped up your favorite comfort food while your father was admitted into the hospital.

They were upset about it for a while but decided to not hold a grudge or press any charges to keep this incident under wraps. As a peace offering, you get to stay over his place on Fridays and weekends. You don't have a say in this matter.

But hey, you get way more privacy than before. But your older brother moving out doesn't stop him from popping in randomly to shower you with love and maybe start another fight with your old man.

Your big brother began earning a lot of money. His starting salary is so fucking high, you can't even comprehend how it is possible for him to get it at that age. Hell, you don't even know what he works as. He's rarely busy!

You thought it was hell. Your brother would send you to high school and pick you up almost every day. Sometimes he has no choice but to send mom and dad to do it, thanks to his job that you still have no clue what it is about.

Just like how it was in middle school, your older brother sends you off with a kiss on the forehead on good days. A kiss on the neck on bad days. You would bring your own lunch packed by him, still warm and fresh because it was made with love and care.

Your brother has a youthful look to him. Making a lot of people think he is your hot, older boyfriend. Which... Makes you shiver in a mix of disgust, shame and anger. The look of pure surprise on your friends' face when you tell them the truth is something that would haunt at 3am.

You dread the days where he didn't pack any lunch for you. That means he would purposely drop by and hand you your favorite fast food takeaway. It almost always would come with a bouquet of flowers for you and leave after giving you a kiss.

To your friends, they're familiar with this creepy behavior and understood the context behind it.

To others? Aww, how romantic. That's so cool, you have a rich boyfriend!

Makes you want to crawl into a hole and die.

Your older brother with his newfound wealth would spoil you a lot more. He obviously saves up for your college fund too, but he has so much disposable income that he gets you give you as much as a thousand dollars as "pocket money". You get to use his credit card as much as you want, go nuts on the online shopping, get as many cute but useless kitchen gadgets as you want.

He is at your beck and call, your big brother is like your chauffeur, wherever you want to go, he will bring you. As long as it isn't anywhere near the sketchiest parts in town.

During summer holidays, he would book plane tickets for the both of you. Just tell him where you want to have your vacation, he will take care of everything. Be it Korea, Indonesia, Thailand, Switzerland Disneyland-- No price seems to be too high for him, no place seems too far for him.

Your parents aren't invited, though. Which leads to another major fight between him and them.

(click here for Part 2)

[mcwriting]

Lost in Rome

hello, friends! Ever since "La Vita Dolce," I've wanted to write something else involving Italy and at least one Italian phrase, and so this lil story was born! Hope you all enjoy!

Ship: Tom Holland x Reader

Word Count: 1488

Warnings: mentions of drinking, vv slight language

★

You had been walking around Rome for what felt like an eternity.

(It had only been like 30 minutes)

You knew the bar was right near Piazza Navona, but you'd only been to that part of the city one other time, having been staying south on the other side of the river in Trastevere.

You felt embarrassed knowing you were dragging your friends around the city without much of a guide, but you were too stubborn to admit that you were actually lost.

"Maybe we should've gone to Bar San Calisto again. It was cheap and close but noooo. I just had to look up a 'best bars in Rome' list" you thought as you continued to trudge on.

Not only were you lost, but you also didn't have the ability to look up where you were going, since you'd decided to go cheap and not buy an international plan or a vpn, choosing to only using wifi so you'd "stay in the moment."

That moment seemed stupid now that every marble wall and cobblestone street started to meld together in your brain as it continued to darken.

A trip to Rome was something you'd been wanting to do for years, so when your university offered up the chance to go study abroad for 4 weeks, you immediately began scrounging up the funds to go, even scoring a scholarship based on the fact that you'd taken Italian classes in school.

You'd only been there a week but thankfully had bonded with your roommate before even going, having struck up a conversation at the informational meeting the semester before. Since then, you had also bonded with those in the room next door, them sticking to you as their translator.

Finally, you couldn't take it anymore, stopping.

"Okay, look, guys. I'm really sorry but I literally have no idea where we are," you admitted, feeling guilty. Everyone else smiled.

"That's okay! This place is beautiful! I'm sure we'll find it eventually," your roommate, Olivia, said.

"Yeah. Didn't you say it was at Piazza Navona?" Aaron, one of your neighbors, asked. You nodded. "Well as long as we can find that, then we're basically there!"

After some wandering, your group found itself in the square in front of the Pantheon, which was a step in the right direction, but you were determined to actually find the right place.

There was a hotel right there, so you quickly stepped in to ask the desk worker to point you towards the Piazza, who explained that it was only a couple streets East of where you were.

Relieved, you and your friends quickly walked that way, breathing out a collective sigh when you walked into the giant open square, looking around at the familiar structures from the second day of class when you'd toured the area.

"Sooo... where's this bar?" Aaron's roommate Joseph asked.

You all circled the square from the inside and out a couple times, not seeing any signs with the name "Bar del Fico Roma" anywhere.

Dread started to wash over you as you realized the website must not have meant the bar was actually on the square, but was somewhere nearby. You felt stupid for not screenshotting the website page or, you know, actually looking it up first.

"Fine, that's it! I'm marching up to the next person I see and asking where this darn place is. We've made it this far!" you said, exasperated.

The first thing that caught your eye was a group of people who looked close to your age, talking in a small group. They were pretty well dressed, typical of a young Italian, so you immediately started over towards them, expecting them to be the most helpful in giving directions.

"Wait, y/n!" Olivia protested, but you ignored her, walking between a shorter boy and taller girl.

You couldn't help but sigh out the words as you started speaking, placing a light hand on the boy's arm.

“Scusa, potresti dirme dov’è la-" "Excuse me, could you tell me where the-"

"Sorry! I don't speak Italian!" the boy answered in a British accent, turning to face you with hands in surrender.

You both seemed taken aback when your eyes met.

Tom Holland?

"Um, oh what was the word for sorry in Italian again?" the actor in front of you asked, looking to one of his many Spider-man costars around you. Before one could answer, you blurted out one for him.

"It's 'mi dispiace' or 'perdonami,' depending on how you want to say it," you started, realizing how stupid you probably sounded to be teaching a world famous actor Italian words after accidentally infiltrating his conversation.

However, Tom was more shocked by your American accent. Your eyes still widened as you realized what was actually going on.

"Oh my gosh, what am I saying, um. I- I'm so sorry. We're just trying to find this bar and got lost and-"

"Which bar?" he asked in return. You furrowed your brows and looked at him funny, wondering why he would care. He seemed to take notice. "It's just that, we're also headed to a bar and can't seem to find it, either."

You chuckled at the situation, baffled.

"Well, um, it's called 'Bar del Fico Roma.'"

Tom's eyes widened.

"Hey, that's where we're headed!" Jacob Batalon cut in, making you look at him and the rest of the actors in surprise. You could see your own friends shock from your peripheral.

"No way! Really?" Joseph said for you. The group nodded.

"I just got it pulled up on maps," Zendaya said, holding up her phone. Realization suddenly hit that she of all people was the one who you had been standing next to this whole time.

You and your friends all gasped incredulously, amazed at your luck after spending all that time lost.

"If you want, we can show you the way," Tom offered.

"What? No, no we couldn't impose like that," you began, knowing your friends were probably internally screaming at you.

"Oh come on," Tom responded. "We're all going to the same place anyways, not like we won't see you there. It's barely a five minute's walk."

"Seriously, y/n. Do you really want to go around asking more locals for help when we've got it right here?" Olivia asked, raising a good point.

"Alright, fine," you started, rolling your eyes. You turned back to Tom. "You know what they say, 'when in Rome.' Seriously, thank you. All of you. You're definitely saving our asses."

He chuckled as Zendaya began leading the way. Though the sun had set, lights throughout the roads and emanating from various shops lit the way.

Without meaning to, you fell into step with Tom, easily matching his gait as you crossed through the bustling piazza.

"So what brings you to Italy?" He asked. "You don't quite sound like a local."

"We're studying abroad through our university. Unfortunately for me, these goons keep following me 'cause I speak the language," you joked, causing Olivia to slap the back of her hand to your shoulder.

"Ah, I see. I was definitely confused when you went from Italian to American in an instant. Y/n, was it?"

"Yes! Yeah, that's me. And you're obviously Tom Holland."

"You better remember that later, he tends to forget his own name after a few drinks," Zendaya called back to you, causing the group to laugh.

"Hey! That was one time!" Tom defended himself. "Not my fault I was going through a breakup!"

He turned back to you.

"Don't listen to them. I'm quite fun to drink with. You should see for yourself."

"Is that some sort of offer..?" you questioned playfully, tucking your hair behind your ear.

"If everyone's alright with it, I figured you all would join us at the lounge. I'm more than happy to pay for a round or two," he winked.

The group was approaching the bar, and any anxiety you'd had about finding it finally quelled when you could see people outside laughing and drinking as they enjoyed the summer night.

"Hmm... I don't know..." you sing-songed, looking up at the sky.

"Dude are you crazy?" Aaron exclaimed, causing the others to argue in agreement with him.

"Okay, okay. Of course we would be happy to join you for a drink. Thank you."

Both groups cheered in approval.

"The only thing I ask in return is a little lesson in Italian and, if all goes well, a pretty lady's number at the end of the night," he said smoothly, giving you a look.

The others looked between you with wide eyes, surprised at his open flirting. You couldn't help but smile and blush before replying.

"I think that's something I can manage. Now come on, your first lesson will be in ordering drinks," you said, grabbing his hand to lead him in what was about to be the best night of his life.

And yours.

★

A/N: Okay fun fact I thought up this concept immediately after publishing La Vita Dolce and just... never wrote it? The entire work was actually written around the one Italian phrase I used haha.

Anyways... Hope you all enjoyed as per usual and feel free to hmu anytime about anything :)

Send a message or ask if you’d like to be added to my permanent or series taglists so I can verify you’ve been added!

@jackiehollanderr, @one-big-fangirl, @agentnataliahofferson, @spider-babe, @justafangirlduh

[el-pintor]

Thoughts about the Christmas special

This will be a long, long, long post...

First, I write about ZhanYi and then about Tianshan.

ZhanYi:

Jian Yi's comment about his strength:

— Jian Yi mentions that he is so strong that he could pull trees out. This is pretty interesting information. Because this could indicate the time during the kidnapping, depending on how seriously you can interpret the statements. Did he continue to train or drill? Is it the result of training with He Cheng?

- In addition, this drunk talking could also refer to earlier chapters. Jian Yi has a desire to become stronger because he felt helpless against Mo. Incidentally, it is the first appearance of Mo.

The apartment:

— Whose apartment is this? Probably Zhen Xis, since Jian Yi is only at Xi's apartment in the future chapters. In contrast to earlier insights, the apartment is also pretty tidy.

– However, the interior differs massively from the previous chapters. I don't expect Zhen Xi and Jian Yi to be living together at this point. Old Xian just may not have used the previous references.

— So the connection between the two seems to be as strong as ever since Xi possibly brings him home to his flat instead to Jian Yi's.

- And another proof of how much Xi's character has changed. Because in the beginning, he didn't want anything more than kicking out Yi as soon as he showed up.

- He also apparently abandoned the violent nature. Instead of beating him up, he sits down on the couch with him in an embrace and falls asleep. He doesn't even take off his jacket, but lets Jian Yi willingly hug him.

- Somehow cute. Nevertheless, I hope that he will soon no longer keep Jian Yi friendzoned and return his feelings.

- Just as home furnishings have changed, Zheng Xi's character has changed.

— But maybe that's Jian Yi's apartment after all. No one knows about his living condition.

- Does he live alone? Or with his mother? Maybe he's back in He Cheng's care? Does Zheng Xi even know Jian Yi's address?

I hope we can find out more soon.

Tianshan

I think there are a lot of inconsistencies and you don't really get their behavior.

First of all a few trivial comments.

Rings:

- He Tian wears the ring he took himself as a gift. Coincidentally, it also fits like a glove. Either it would be too big for Mo anyway, or you can adjust the ring.

- In the first panel, it seems that Mo is also wearing a ring.

He Tian flirting:

- He Tian goes straight to the attack and leaves no unnecessary time and doubts about his intentions: After flirting, he just takes off his jacket and throws himself and Mo on the bed.

- He is hopelessly in love and love everything about Mo.

- That Mo has a newfound interest on studying turns he even more on.

- I think despite the fact that the room is too small for him, he will develop a secret preference for the bed. Because it's narrow and there is no place to escape and to keep a certain distance. So perfectly made for  cuddling and sticking close together.

The apartment, Room, whatever you can call it:

- I immediately noticed the rule with books (if they were books).

- The guitar on his bed plus other books.

- At first I thought that the "apartment" consists of only one room, but the kitchen and at least the bathroom are missing.

- it's quite empty and reminds of He Tian's empty apartment.

- Still, it's pretty run down and seems so cold. I hope Mo doesn't freeze.

Living condition:

- The question, of course, would be why Mo lives under this condition, although he would have it better in his mother's old apartment.

- Did he want to become independent as quickly as possible and therefore moved out so as not to further burden his mother?

- However, I hardly think that his mother would have been satisfied with the condition of the apartment, because the condition is worrying. I don't think he invites his mother over to his house.

-I don't know if that is standard in China when you don't have money. In addition, 19 is still quite young. Many people still live with their parents at this age.

- Did something happen to the mother? Hopefully not.

But maybe Mo is just rebellious and proud that he could afford something of his own.

Indications of Mos' current activity.

- As I said, I immediately noticed the rule with books (if they were books). Which of course is totally untypical for Mo, since he was never interested in books and learning.

- Are these cook and music books?

- Can someone tell me what's written on this book?

- The book in He Tian's hand has an unusual book form. So I suspect that this is a music book with notes or tabs. It seems to be at least a book for studying.

- So does Mo study anything with music and do his part-time jobs to finance it?

- Does he study anything else?

- Does he go to university at all?

- Or does he really earn his money only with part-time jobs? Obviously he won't make much money with it, so they could only be an interim solution if Mo didn't want to keep this lifestyle for life.

- For the university in China you need a lot of money, which you couldn't pay on your own. But there is the possibility of scholarships (I just assume that there is also something like that in China). Maybe he got a music scholarship?

- Mo doesn't seem to have many things. Of course, the books and the guitar are striking.

The guitar

- At first glance, the guitar is reminiscent of He Tian's guitar, which he would like to give to Mo.

- If you take a closer look, they are identical in shape and color, but they are two completely different guitars.

- He Tian's guitar is an acoustic (or concert) guitar and Mo's is an electric guitar.

- Could it be a little mistake from Old Xian?

- Perhaps this is also a later gift from He Tian after Mo learned to play guitar with the acoustic guitar and get advanced. A lot of people start with an acoustic guitar before playing electric guitar.

- Maybe the guitar is from the same serial production.

- Maybe He Tian owns the acoustic guitar and buys an electric guitar for Mo from the same series after Mo's interest for learning guitar has been completely awakened.

- By the way, you need a guitar amplifier for full fun with an electric guitar. I didn't see it in his room.

- Unless this could be an amp. Does anyone know what this thing could be? For me this could be organizers.

- It's s also extremely inconvenient in an apartment to turn it up fully. (Do more people actually live there? The apartment looks more like an old rehearsal room or a garage. My rehearsal room looked something like this, that's why the associations).

- You can also play the electric guitar on headphones, but that's pretty impractical because of the sound (it differs, if you use headphones ir not) and you still need an amp.

- By the way, music it's a costly pleasure. So, it is all the more interesting what exactly Mo does and how he finances everything.

- But I think those are little things that Old Xian probably doesn't think about (something that you easily can forget) .

- I wonder if Mo is in a band. Maybe with Zhen Xi together.

So now to the most complicated point:

Hey Tian, ​​his disappearance and the relationship with Mo.

- One learns that He Tian was not in China for a while.

Many questions arise from this:

- When was he gone?

- How long was he gone?

- Has he been away for a long period of time or is it a coming and going? A lot of it is pretty unclear, so you could guess both.

- The fact that He Tian was away for a long time speaks for the fact that he has never been to Mo's apartment. Has Mo just recently moved there?

- What is also new for him is that Mo reads books or even studies. You should actually know that if you were in regular contact. So is this a recent Mo hobby? That is rather unlikely. So how much did they really have to do with each other in the 4 years?

— However, there are some arguments against staying longer:

- He Tian knows where Mo works. If He Tian had been away for years, how would he know where Mo works? From Jian Yi or Zahn Xi? Maybe from Mo himself? Mo would most likely not give it away. So He Tian should at least stop by for visits.

- The second thing that speaks against it, is that Mo knows where He Tian lives. He Tian probably didn't change his apartment, but could have been if you weren't in the country for a long period of time. At least that doesn't indicate radio silence.

The relationship with Mo:

- After the chapters and all the hints, it was thought that the penny had finally fallen between the two, but no.

- Their relationship to each other has not really changed.

- Mo is still dismissive to He Tian.

There are several reasons about this matter:

— 1. Mo feels hurt and probably betrayed too.

- He Tian asked Mo in middle school not to abandom him. Now HE was the one who left and left Mo behind. Depending on the point in time at which this occurred, it is logical to first react in a negative manner.

— Nevertheless, He Tian seems to be a part of Mo's life, which he does not really want to give up and maybe also gives evidence that he might misses him.

The following aspect indicate

- He lit a cigarette, reminiscent of He Tian.

- He is still wearing his earrings.

- In addition, the design of his electric guitar is similar to He Tian's.

— 2. Mo couldn't build a closer bond with He Tian because He Tian left the country right after middle school.

- How can you build a relationship if you hardly see or not see each other?

- Mo has problems with trust. So I can imagine, that this could be extremely bitter for him and he is angry. Especially if he had open up to He Tian and then his gone.

— 3. Mo is just too stubborn to admit his feelings and get involved with He Tian and is a tsundere, so he have to act this way.

- Definition of a tsundere: "A tsundere is a character, most often female and in anime, who switches from being tough and cold towards a love interest into being soft and sweet"

- Well, I'm not so keen on these whole tsundere explanations. Of course his character is like a tsundere but it would be to simple to explain his character so one sided.

- Even tsundere characters can make progress and that's what I missing. The reationship between those two is going back and forth mostly two steps back and one forth. It's like they are stuck in this, just like ZhanYi are stuck in their relationship. But in this matter you know that Jian was gone for three years. Still I hoped Zhan Xi would finally admit his feelings, but he rather go with the safety zone. The case of Tianshan is way more complicated: You don't know what happened between them in these years. But He Tian seems to be in love more than ever and Mo seems to that he still hasn't figured out his feelings and doesn’t give the attention that He Tian wants. Mo is 18 or 19, not 15 anymore and I wish he would act more mature. But on the other hand, He Tian is really pushy again and is testing his limits. It's understandable that Mo acts irritated.

- So I think they are still don't there where you can call this a mutual relationship.

- They will eventually in the future, but this will take a lot more time obviously and they have a long road ahead.

Of course there is progress:

- Mo seems to have grown used to He Tian's approach.

- He is less aggressive, can even be touched, and he doesn't immediately panic. In the other special he even voluntarily shares a room with He Tian.

- On the other hand, He Tian seems to have become more courageous, so you thought, they really started out with a physical relationship.

- He gives away condoms, hugs him profusely, and tries to get to his butt (other special).

- Maybe they really did have an on-off thing.

- Old Xian indicated that He Tian was allowed to stay the night. So Mo doesn't throw him out. The only question is whether he is allowed to sleep in bed or whether the floor has to suffice.

- So yeah, for me this is really confusing.

Other abnormalities:

- Where's the dog?

- Did Xi stays true to the music? So far there has not been a hint of a musical instrument at his flat.

- What about Yi? Does he continue to play the guitar?

- And He Tian?

- When and why did Mo get his second piercing?

- He Tian doesn't seem to wear the chain with ring. Maybe he get it later?