#I have six finished currently and another eleven planned lol
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sysig · 5 months ago
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Pepper scared the shit out of me by hiding in his molt-hammock for A Literal Week and I thought for sure he’d moltstalled but no he was just in there getting swole
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nikatyler · 5 years ago
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People I’d like to know better tag
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Saw people were pairing these with cute pictures and decided to do that too.
I was tagged by @dandylion240 and @desira-sims. Thank you guys! Yes, I know I said that I would do simblr on weekends only and that I’d focus on school otherwise but...I just finished rewriting and organizing notes from four classes and reading an incredibly difficult text from another one (I have no idea what I read btw, I’ll have to go through it again tomorrow). I need a break. I’m feeling very overwhelmed, but compared to last week, it’s a little better because I talked about it to a classmate who feels the same. It’s a shared pain now, I guess.
Anyway, onto the tag!
– one / NAME / ALIAS. Veronika, though most people call me Verča or Veru. Ronnie online. – two /  BIRTHDAY. December 22nd. – three / ZODIAC SIGN. Capricorn. – four /  HEIGHT.  176 cm. That’s 5.7 feet or something? Idk, it’s been a while since I googled it and I don’t remember it. – five  /  HOBBIES.  Writing, reading, drawing, history, pilates. – six /  FAVORITE COLORS. Most shades of blue, turquoise, black...and apparently red too, for some reason I’m always buying red clothes :D – seven / FAVOURITE BOOKS. I’ve listed some of them not so long ago, but I’m currently reading Hana by Alena Mornštajnová (yes, Czech author, and man I hope I spelled her surname correctly) for one of my classes and I’m really enjoying it, even though when I was reading it today on my way to dorm, I almost started crying because there was such a heartbreaking moment. I think it will become one of my favourites though. – eight  /  LAST SONG LISTENED TO. Lol. I’m currently listening to Heart of Stone by Elisa Rosselli. It’s from Winx Club. Say whatever you want, the show has some amazing songs. – nine  /  LAST FILM WATCHED. I was going to watch Bohemian Rhapsody for my English class last week, but then I didn’t have time for that. But...I genuinely cannot remember what I watched last. I’m more of a tv show watcher anyway. I’m binge watching a Czech show now, Vyprávěj. I’ve talked about it before too. I watched it when I was a child and it’s kind of a different experience now that I’m almost twenty and know so much more about the time period it’s set in. – ten  /  INSPIRATION FOR MUSE. My own experiences and current obsessions, books I’ve read, tv shows I’ve seen, songs I’ve listened too...I get inspired by what others write as well, but when you do something like that, you have to be careful. There’s a very fine line between being inspired and copying someone. – eleven  / DREAM JOB. Writer. I’m studying to be a teacher now, but you never know where life takes you. I actually joked to my mum at the weekend that if this doesn’t work out, I’ll try screenwriting at another school...to be fair, I’m not even sure if I was joking. That doesn’t sound like a bad plan B. – twelve  / MEANING BEHIND YOUR URL.  My name is Ronnie and I’m a simmer. I’ve thought about changing my url but I’ve been simmeronnie for so long, I doubt anything else would feel right.
I’ll tag @tiny-tany-thaanos, @vintageplumbobs, @poisonfireleafs and anyone else who wants to do this! Feel free to ignore if you don’t feel like answering this.
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canonicallyanxious · 6 years ago
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diary, backstory and time-lapse 💖
diary: how many pieces have you written that are just for you or will never see the light of day?
idk if wips count in this but for the sake of my sanity i’ll just count the stuff i HAVE finished. So I can think of about six or seven finished things I have never posted anywhere and will never post anywhere, as follows:
My 2013 NaNoWriMo project called Merge - basically it’s about a queer girl who has the power to “merge” consciousnesses with any living being. It’s not really taking over their minds, more like sharing the body with the other consciousness, and sort of combining the two minds. Anyway she grows up in the woods all alone until a chance encounter with another girl thrusts her into a dystopian futuristic city. Never gonna do anything with this lol but it was the very first novel length thing I ever finished and I was really happy I did it!
“The Lion’s Jaw” - short story i didn’t finish editing but the first draft is finished, at least. A personal piece based on a toxic friendship.
Another short story whose title I can’t remember but I never intended to do anything with it, I just wanted to write an atmospheric piece about a girl falling in love with her best friend so I did.
Fanfic stuff
Ender’s Game - Alai/Ender - sdkfjsndkfjnsdkjfsndkfjdsn
Attack on Titan - Reiner/Bertholdt - high school AU
Free! - Sousuke/Rin - drunken makeouts [this one is more because I wrote it on a computer that broke and i will never get that file back but anyway]
Voltron - Shiro/Keith - fem!sheith AU
SKAM - Even/Isak - morning domesticity drabble
And of course all the WIPs i shall never finish rip. Generally though if I do manage to finish something I’ll probably plan on sharing it eventually. And the cheesy answer is everything I’ve written, published or not, is stuff I write for myself! So there’s that.
backstory: how did you come to love writing?
I mean, I’ve loved reading for almost as long as I can remember, so I’ve always loved stories which I guess is where it starts. Then when I was six years old I wrote my first story on a piece of printer, front to back, with a magic marker. And that’s when I realized I loved telling them, too. And I never looked back. 
I used to have a notebook after that where I would keep all my story ideas, and i think when I was around eight I wrote my first “actual” story with a plot called “The Hero of Athlog” about a princess who would sneak out of the palace to fight crime. It was around ten I started becoming extremely serious about trying to write novels and I would practice writing and building stories by roleplaying on forums and getting my online friends to critique my writing - some attempts I got fairly far with include such hits like “The Black Queen”, about a monarch who plunged her entire kingdom into eternal darkness, and “The Trials of Freedom”, a steampunk story about a bunch of teens at a prestigious academy; I was very creative with my titling I know lol - but I didn’t actually manage to finish a long-form story until I was sixteen. And now here we are! Basically it’s just something I’ve always loved and I don’t even know why I decided I did, I just... did.
time-lapse: how long have you been writing (as a hobby or for work)?
Well, I guess my answer to the last question answers this lol. I usually pinpoint my origin point as when I was six years old bc that’s my clearest memory of it but who knows, really. I’ve been writing fanfic since I was maybe ten or eleven but I count the real start of my career as 2015 bc that’s when I created my current AO3. Sooooo yeah!
Writer asks!
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chelsorz07 · 7 years ago
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i was wondering if i could just be you tonight
2010/2018
If you woke up naked next to the last person you texted what would your reaction be? wouldn't be the first time. That person was Faith. Soooo...it’d be weird but I wouldn’t complain. lol Do you drink bottled water? no. waste of money. Yep. The tap water here is undrinkable. Think of the last person who hurt you, do you forgive them? no. Can’t think of who it was. What do you think of when you hear the word "meow"? david. My children. When is your birthday? july 26. Obvs same. When was the last time you ate Taco Bell never have, never will. Still never. What happened last night? sleep. Well I cleaned a little bit but didn’t finish. Watched tv. Played games on Pogo.  Do you want to get married and have kids? no. I am married. Been trying to get pregnant for a couple years now. No such luck. What's something you really want right now, be honest? to not go anywhere tonight. For my cleaning to be done and for it not to snow tomorrow. Are you afraid of falling in love? i already have. Nope. Have you ever had your heart broken? no. I was lying then lol Do you plan on sleeping in tomorrow? yes. I don’t go to bed till the morning. Would you rather go to Greece or Hawaii? greece. hawaii has no appeal whatsoever. I stand by that. Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else? yeah. I have but it’s not comfortable. I like having the couch to myself. Would you like the ability to read minds? yes. More than I want most things. What did you dream about last night? i don't remember. Dean Winchester. Did you wake up in the middle of the night last night? every night. Always. Several times. What time did you wake up today? 3ish. I went to bed at 9:30am. How much cash do you have on you? none. I don’t carry cash. What has pissed you off today, if anything at all? pretty much everything. My computer freezing and the fact that the first Speedway I went to didn’t have any regular Rockstar so I had to go all the way across town to another one. Do you ever apologize first? i don't at all. I don’t even interact with people so I don’t give myself cause to apologize. Who did you last cry in front of? i don't know. Dave. Have you ever seen someone sleepwalk? yes. I guess? I don’t recall that. Do you share food with your friends? rarely. Joey doesn’t share food! Do you like your phone? hate it. It’s too big. What are you listening to? gilmore girls. The Walking Dead. What did your last sent text say? hooray. “It sucks but I’ve got my heating pad.” Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts? i don't know. Sarah from work. Where is the person you miss the most right now? in north carolina, where she has been for six, almost seven, years. In Bradford. It’s Amanda. What are you most anxious/excited for right now? nothing. I don’t feel a whole lot of anything right now, except back pain. What were you doing at 8:00 am? sleeping. Watching TV. How did you get your last bruise? i don't know. just noticed it today. I actually haven’t had one in a while so I don’t remember. Is there someone you wish you were still close with? no. Yeah. Where was the last place you fell asleep other than your bed? couch. I sleep on the couch more than I sleep in my bed.  Who was the last person you gave a dirty look to? my mother. Customers probably. Last person you talked on the phone to? dad. My boss. Last thing you laughed about? good question. i know it wasn't recently. Something on tv. Where is your dad? work. Home. Do you fall for people easily? yes. Not anymore. Does your life feel like it's going anywhere? no. Nope. Do you bite your lip? i am right now. Constantly. Do you believe in love at first sight no. Kinda. Strong interest at least. Do you open up to a lot of people? no. I mean I have verbal diarrhea so I guess so. What is your current mood? pissed. Meh. How many people have you completely fallen for? one. Still one. How is your hair styled right now? it's actually straightened. Hahahahaha styled...it’s been in the same bun since Thursday. How was last night overall? boring. Lame. Will you keep your last name when you get married? i won't get married. I changed my name. Are you a jealous person? no. Yeah. Do you give out second chances too easily? not at all. And third, fourth, fifth, etc. Do you think you'll have the same best friend next year? i know i will. Absolutely. We’ve been best friends for fifteen years. Have you ever thought about getting your tongue pierced? no. Nah. Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos? several tattoos, and my lip pierced. Many, many tattoos. I need to get my psoriasis under control first. Does it matter to you if your boyfriend/girlfriend smokes? no. I smoke a pack a day so no. But Dave doesn’t at all. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? don't care. I doubt it. Most people I know are in bed because they have real jobs and have to work in the morning. How many people do you trust fully? one. One. When you're bored in class, what do you usually do? i'm not in school. Haven’t been in school for eleven years. But when I was I’d write notes to people or copy lyrics or write my own songs. Are you really happy right now? no. I’m not even slightly happy right now. Where did the shirt you are wearing come from? old navy. Amanda gave me the t-shirt and I took the hoodie from Dave. Do you believe that there are certain circumstances when cheating is allowed? no. Never. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now? hopefully. Months? Sure. How do you feel about your hair right now? it's too long. It’s WAY too fucking long. Also really dirty. Are you texting anyone? no. Nope. What were you doing at midnight last night? watching tv. Omg. I’m always doing the same thing. Are you happy with the way things are going? no. Kinda answered this several times already. Have you kissed a random person for money? no. I don’t kiss random people. Could you last in a relationship for over a year? probably. It’s been almost nine. Do you have a hard time admitting you're wrong? i'm always wrong. My previous statement is accurate. Who is your last received call from? united way. Work. What was the last thing you and your mom talked about? my cocky attitude. I have no idea. Random stuff on Christmas day. Ever have those days, you could just punch someone out ? like now. I get the sentiment often but I could never do it. I’m weak AF. What did you last drink ? water. Water. Which is rare because water doesn’t have caffeine in it. Have you ever dyed your hair? all the time. Probably a hundred times. I have hair dye now I’m just too lazy to put it in. Do your parents have facebook accounts? yes. They do. Do you believe love lasts forever? probably not. I mean I’d like to believe that but I’ve seen little evidence to support it. When was the last time you wanted to punch someone in their face? now, now, and now. I really don’t know. Ever receive a really long apology? no. You’re funny. Usually when somebody does me wrong they turn the tables and make it my fault. What were you doing at 7:45AM this morning? sleeping. I’m getting tired of this. Do you put ketchup on top of your french fries or on the side? i don't use ketchup. On the side. Who was the last person you talked to in person? my mother. The cashier at Speedway. Is there anyone holding a grudge against you? yes. My sister. I’m still surprised that she was pleasant to me on Christmas because last time she wouldn’t even respond if I spoke to her. Last person you hugged what are you to them ? her aunt. His wife. When is the last time you have cried ? earlier. Couple days ago. Would you be mad if your best friend dated your ex girl/boyfriend? no. she dated him before i did. I don’t think I’d be mad but it would be weird. Plus he’s really into sports and she hates sports so I don’t think they’d be a good match. Do you wish you were somewhere else right now? no. i wish i wasn't going anywhere in about ten minutes. I wish I was in Pennsylvania. Is it easy to annoy you? very. Yep. But it’s also easy for me to annoy someone else. How many kids do you want? none. If the first is a girl, one. If I get two boys in a row I’m not trying again. Yes I prefer girls. Come for me, tumblr.  Have you ever glued your fingers together? yes. Yeah it’s relaxing. Do you have a problem with bisexuals? no. I kind of am one so no? Do you use hearts like this <3 a lot? no. I don’t use it now but I have one after Dave’s name in my contacts. Always have.
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shimayufanfiction · 7 years ago
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Much Ado About Something
Prompts: maybe about mayura and shimon announcing their relationship to either seigen or shimon's family (or both XD) | I would like to see seigen-San glare daggers to shimon for Taking his daughter lol. | just wondering when we will see papa tiger overprotective mode
Universe: Sousei no Onmyouji (manga) / “The Purity of Red Seems To Be White”
Pairing: Shimon x Mayura
Rated K
Author: lovingtimetravelexpert
Originally posted in the One-shot collection “A Flight towards our Future”
Much Ado About Something
"What do you mean 'Tell him'?" He had a hard time focusing. Why was she bringing this up now of all possible times?
"Just what I've said," she told him from her position below.
He evaded an attack. Focusing his power again. It still hurt from time to time. He still faced the repercussions for saving her. But if he hadn't done it, she might have been lost forever. And then he wouldn't have experienced these last few months together with her. Which brought him back to the subject at hand. "I would have thought, you told him already."
From her position below, Mayura stroke down on the enemy in front of her. With an awful yell the impurity burst into a thousand pieces, as Mayura buried her claws in it. "There was no opportunity."
Disbelief filled his head. No opportunity? But- "It's been almost six months!"
She attacked two other impurities, slicing them up from afar. "I wanted to tell him in person and I haven't been home almost a year."
Letting his gaze slide over the battlefield, Shimon spotted a group of C- and B-class impurities at eleven o'clock. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. He would pierce them with the blade of his wings.
"Sekitei mugen byoufu. Kyuu kyuu nyo ritsu ryou." Thirty-six blades flew towards the enemies. Six blades pierced through the vital points of every impurity, making them dissolve at once.
Calling back his blades, he turned to the battle noises, as Mayura took down one impurity after another.
Watching her, he now understood why she chose this situation out of all possible scenarios to ask him this. If he had been comfortable at home, it would have been easier to deny her request. Now thanks to their mission, he had less time thinking about it. That's why in the middle of the battle she had suddenly asked him if he would accompany her to the mainlands to tell her father about their relationship – after six months. Flying closer, he told her. "He will punish us. Or maybe just me because you're his daughter."
After finishing off the last off impurities surrounding her, she smiled cheekily at him. "So does this mean, you're coming?"
Once more he let his gaze run over the battlefield of Magano and saw the rest of their squad taking down, their smaller share of impurities. From his position he could hear one of them say something about an old married couple.
With a warm face Shimon sank down to earth, after he confirmed the last of enemies being defeated. She stood only a few feet away from him and watched him with a seemingly innocent smile. After six month in their relationship she had discovered, that he had no weapon against her playfulness. He still wasn't used to this kind of behavior and had his problems to adept. So he did the only thing he could do: He looked at her with a scrutinizing and folded his arms.
"Is that a yes?" She leaned towards him. Her enamored arms were crossed behind her back while she smiled oh so sweetly at him.
He sighed defeated. She bested him yet again. Reluctantly he admitted defeat with a low voice. "Yeah."
She smiled brightly at him, while he just hoped, he would make it to the island back in one piece.
"So we are actually doing this?" Worry was written all over his face.
She really didn't know, why he made a fuss about it now. It had been a long time coming. "Don't make more of it than it is."
Shimon leaned a bit back, mustering her with a frown. "We are seriously doing this?"
If he would continue to question it, she would grow more and more nervous about it, too. "Don't fret so much. We're doing it quick, so it won't hurt so much."
He sighed and looked very bothered. "Easy for you to say. It's less straining for you."
She hated the idea of him being bothered by this. Sure, it might not go perfect and it might not be as relieving as they might think it would be, but they would never know, if they didn't just do it. And talking about it, made the matter worse. "If you think too much about it, it won't go smooth."
He started to scowl. His icy blur eyes were squeezed into a harsh frown. "Don't blame me. You rubbed it in too much on the way."
At times Mayura would find that scowl to be cute. Right now it was adding to her own insecurities about what they were about to do. "If you hadn't been so scared, I wouldn't have felt the need to touch it at all. We could have just made the trip without talking about it." She sighed. Maybe this hadn't been the best of ideas. Maybe it was too soon for both of them.
She watched him. He had his head turned away. She really didn't like were this conversation was going. Since they've got together, they've never gotten into a real fight. And right now this might be a situation, that would lead into their first fight. She hated his accusations and she hated having to talk about this at all. She really didn't want them to fight. So she wondered, if she should steer the conversation into another direction.
Watching him sitting on a bench beside her sulking, was actually pretty funny. He had yet to notice himself, that she helped him out in some ways. "Besides you should thank me."
He didn't move. Just his gaze traveled towards her and came to rest, when it met her eyes. Carefully he inquired, "What for?"
She pointed down to the ground below with a finger, drawing his attention to the white, polished surface of the deck, they were currently sitting on. "You haven't felt motion-sick for a while now, have you?"
The nausea seemed to hit him at once as his face turned green. With a hand in front of his mouth he said, "Yua efil"
Leaning to the side, he held his head over the railing.
It wasn't like she wanted to torture him or loved to watch him being miserable thanks to his motion sickness. She had just been aggravated and maybe she had wanted to punish him a little bit.
Thankfully they had spend most of their trip bickering, so it was only mere minutes until the boat would stop at their destination. She saw the wide shore a few hundred meters away with the skyline of Tokio towered over the coast.
A gong suddenly came to the loud speakers. A crackling male voice told them: "Dear passengers, due to a congestion at the harbor, our passage will be delayed by a few minutes. We sincerely apologize for this circumstances."
Oh dear. So much for not torturing Shimon.
With quick moves Mayura pulled out a tissue and a bottle of water and soaked the cloth a little bit, holding it out for him, while she inwardly gave herself a lecture about how not to make your boyfriend suffer.
After tending to him for the next half an hour until the boat reached the harbor, she felt exhausted. This wasn't how she planned this thing at all and she still felt bad about Shimon.
They left the boat with him leaning on her and still looking green in the face.
Now they were running late. She had told her mother on the phone that they would make it in time to dinner. It was half past one already and they had no chance at catching the next bus on time which was actually good regarding Shimon's condition. If she dragged him now on yet another vehicle, he would be sick for hours.
Instead she chose to draw out her phone and type her mother a message, while leading Shimon to a bench outside the harbor. Telling her mother they would run late and would need to take another route, she figured they could walk into the city and use the subway. It was quick and would bring them at least into the quarter, in which her old house was. Walking from the station towards home would take another thirty minutes but at least Shimon would by then be fine again.
While handing him the bottle of water, her phone beeped.
That's okay, honey. Should I change the bed in your room for you and your boyfriend?
Heat exploded in her face, when she read the message. She had told her mother about her relationship with Shimon very soon after they got together. One reason was, that she wanted to share it with her mother, who had always been her attachment figure. Secondly she couldn't have kept it a secret even, if she had tried. As if her mother had smelled it, she had known Mayura was in a relationship at the first call after Shimon and her had confessed to each other. Luckily her father didn't possess this kind of superpowers.
But since then her mother had often confronted her with embarrassing questions and funny ideas like this one. Mayura wondered, if her mother was seriously asking or just teasing her. With swift movements of her thumb she typed her answer, One set on my bed and one in the guest room would be fine. Thank you, Okasan.
When her mother had been obstinate about them staying at least for one night, Mayura hadn't thought about this scenario. She had thought, her Okasan would set them in different rooms on her own. For what reason did they have a guest room, when it wasn't even used at this single occasion?
Mayura sighed. If her mother wanted to play match-maker, it would complicate the matter at hand: Telling her father, that Shimon and she dated.
Turning around to Shimon, she saw him still fighting against the nausea. The extended boat trip had obviously taken its toll on him. Guilt ran through her again like lightening strike.
She walked up to him. "How are you?"
Anger crossed his face. "I hate feeling like this."
Sympathy and compassion made her kneel in front of him and grabbing for his hand clutched into the right leg of his trousers. "Do you think you can manage a short ride on the subway?"
He raised an eyebrow in confusion. "I thought, we would take the bus."
She blinked a playful eye at him to lift his spirits. "Change of plans. We will take the subway and walk from the station."
A small smile formed on his face, almost elusive but she could see it in the shine of his eyes. "Thank you."
She raised again and smiled at him. "You're welcome. Come on, let's go."
The rest of their trip worked as planned. The ride on the subway was short enough as not to strengthen his motion-sickness. Walking from the station to her house gave him the opportunity to get well again. Finally he was in almost good spirits. Not good, as it could be because they still had to face the reason for their visit to the mainlands.
At least from her point of view it helped, knowing Shimon would be able to support her, when they told Otosan the six-month old "news". A fact she would try to circumvent. It wasn't that she had meant to keep it for so long a secret to her father. She had just passed every possible occasion telling him. After talking to him for the sixth time and not telling him, she had wondered herself, why she wasn't able to let him know the news. Truth was, she wanted to speak to him in person, she had wanted to see her parents again. And this gave her a reason to do so.
While they walked through the suburbs of Narukami now, the house finally came to her sight.
A train of emotions rolled through her, when she laid eyes on the neatly white building, which she left almost a year ago, with its screeching garden gate. Longing, anticipation and happiness knitted a close-meshed net within her.
The speed of her steps accelerated and when she stood on the door steps after ringing the bell, she couldn't fight against the excitement to see her parents again.
It felt like an eternity dripped by until someone answered the door.
Suddenly the image of her smiling mother stood within the frame.
The breath, she didn't know she was holding, left her and she threw herself in the welcoming arms of her mother.
Tears of sadness and relief formed in her eyes, while her mother caressed her back in gentle strokes. She had missed her mother so much. Talking to her over the phone could not compare to the comport and safety her smile and arms brought.
After a while Mayura felt silly, behaving like a small child at the first sight of her mother. Happy and embarrassed she leaned back and brushed away the tears running down her face.
Looking at her mother, she saw tears streaming down the other woman's face, too.
A small giggle left her. Maybe she wasn't being silly at all.
From over the shoulders of her mother she spotted her father, standing in the shades of the frame and looking uncomfortable at the scene she and her mother had caused.
She smiled looking at their parents behaving like usually. This was home. "Hello Otosan and Okasan."
Her mother leaned her head to her side and smiled. "Mayura, just look at you. You look lovely." She reached out for Mayura's hair that had by now grown to her collar bones. "Have you grown your hair?"
Mayura nodded while her cheeks grew warm at her mother's compliments. Her mother then stepped aside and looked at Shimon who was behind her, patiently waiting for his turn to address her parents.
Taking a step back, Mayura went to stand besides him again.
Being open and honest like she was her mother directly spoke to him. "Finally we meet. I'm Mayura's mother, Otomi Yukari."
Shimon bowed, "My name is Ikaruga Shimon. It's nice meeting you, Otomi-san."
"There is no need to be so formal. Just call me Yukari," her mother chanted in a sweet voice that was like honey and milk.
Shimon nodded at her mother and replied, "Thank you." Then he skipped his gaze over to her father who looked disinterested. "Hello, Seigen-san."
"Shimon~." Her father nodded at him before his gaze skipped over to her, while he didn't move his head. His face twisted slightly, telling her all she needed to now. "Mayura, you-"
"It's good to see you, too, Otosan." Mayura helped him out.
He looked at her for a few more seconds before turning around and walking inside.
They ate dinner with her mother leading most of the conversation, asking Mayura about her life on the island, if she met a lot of nice people and how school was. Most of the things Mayura had already told her in their many calls but she enjoyed talking to her mother face to face so much she understood, why her mother didn't stop asking. Then her mother turned to Shimon asking him all kinds of questions about himself, which he calmly answered.
When they sat down in the living room, her mother served them tea. Her father sat on the coach, spreading his legs from him and looking laid-back. Shimon and her sat across from him.
Nervously Mayura nibbled on her lips. She knew it was now or never. But she had a hard time working up the courage.
Looking over to Shimon, she saw that he wasn't dealing with the imminent doom any other way as he stared hard at her father.
"Oi, would you two spit it out, already~", her father drawled. "You both look too suspicious. What's going on?"
Again she looked at Shimon for help but his gaze didn't change. It was still strained and focused on Otosan. Mayura sighed. She probably had to do this herself. "Actually we wanted to tell you something."
Her father didn't move a muscle, as he looked at her to continue.
She swallowed down her anxiety and muttered, "Shimon and I, we a-are..." Her fingers fumbled with the rim of her skirt and she looked down.
"You're~?"
Time to pull the trigger.
She took a deep breath and mumbled as quickly as possible, "We're dating."
Carefully she raised her eyes again and saw her father sending Shimon a dark glare with an upright posture. Oh crap.
Shimon on the other hand still looked at Seigen without moving a muscle. But she could see a thin layer of sweat forming on his forehead.
Her fingers tightened into fists, clenching onto her skirt. She feared the answer of her father, who looked anything but happy. Was he going to forbid their relationship? Was he disappointed in them? There were a lot of things she would do for the sake of her parents. But breaking up with Shimon – that was a thing she couldn't even fathom to do.
Her father turned his head again towards her. She felt the strike of his glare but chose not to waver. She had dealt with a lot of his glares growing up. Looking straight into his eyes, she waited for his final reply, while praying, that he wouldn't think about forcing them to break up.
The darkness in his gaze vanished all of a sudden. "And~?"
Shocked she felt like falling over. "Huh? What do you mean with 'and'?"
"Anything else you want to share?" Her father drawled in a monotone voice.
Still surprised she leaned towards. The clench of her fist loosened. "Aren't you angry?"
He leaned back again and looked to the side. "Why would I be? I am not hyped, you have a boyfriend, but it was ought to happen someday. And I know him, he wouldn't do something improper.~"
Relieved Mayura's mood brightened extensively. With a smile and a more confident voice, she asked, "Seriously?"
Her father nodded faintly and skipped his gaze towards the young man sitting next to her. "Besides he looks like a goner anyway~"
Irritated she looked at Shimon, who seemed to have drifted off to space, as he still stared at Seigen.
Ehhh?!
Staring at her motionless boyfriend, she barely noticed her mother, walking into the room after having finished washing the dishes with a fourth cup of tea. Mayura wondered, if she should check, if Shimon was still breathing, while her mother sat down next to her father.
"Oi Yukari, did you hear the news from over there~?" She heard her father's voice from the off as she mustered Shimon for some sort of reaction.
"I didn't, what news?" Her mother asked in her lullaby voice.
"Our daughter is dating this guy.~"
"Oh that. I had known since they started dating."
Wait. What? Mayura's focus shifted away from her boyfriend to the conversation between her parents.
"Huuuhh~?" With a scowl on his face her father skipped his gaze between Shimon and her. "And when was that?"
Trying to intervene and save them, Mayura yelped, "Okasan!"
But her mother seemed to ignore the interference at all and raised her index finger to her chin, thinking about the question. "Hmmm... About five, six months or so."
Seconds passed before her father's gaze darkened a deeper shade, as he looked at them. "Really~?"
Mayura swallowed hard at the clump of fear in her throat.
The glare her father's eyes send Shimon now could cut flesh.
Oh crap.
It hadn't worked as planned.
Definitely not.
Lying on the bed in the guest room, Shimon stared at the ceiling. Tidily white painted wooden panels stared back at him.
He sighed. Telling Seigen-san about the relationship with his daughter was one of the most complicated things he had ever to endure. Not that he had contributed much being too scared about the possible punishment. When Seigen-san had glared at him the first time, he had tried to meditate, chanting a mantra within his head. Had he known beforehand, that her father would be fine with it, he wouldn't have been so stressed out to begin with.
Still. Telling his family had been so much easier. It had been embarrassing as hell but it was accompanied with a lot of laughing. Chiiko had smiled so brightly, her whole face seemed to shine. A sight that easily made up for Keiji's teasing and the painstaking performance of his foster father as he gave his blessing to them for a marriage, when they had just recently become a thing. Suddenly his family had started celebrating this news as if it had been an official holiday.
Compared to that today had been quite different.
As Shimon had imagined, Seigen-san was rather angry about not having been told about his daughters relationship for six months. Only with the help of Mayura's mother, he stopped sending death glares at Shimon.
Shimon sighed. Good thing Mayura and him had Yukari-san on their side. Her mother was the nice person, that he had imagined her to be. The whole house had a warm gleam, that her mother gave to it by decorating the rooms so brightly. Even this spare room, he was currently occupying had a cheerful aura, with soft yellow colored walls and a pot of fresh flowers sitting on the window-sill.
The walls were now colored in a bluish shade, the plant was covered with the shadows of its petals as the moon light shone into the room for it was already night time.
He had problems sleeping. Too much was on his mind after today. If only she had told Seigen-san sooner –. Well, there was no use thinking about possibilities long gone. Sure, it would have saved trouble. But he had figured out by now, why she hadn't told her father over the phone. It gave her a reason to come home, to abandon her responsibilities as a head of the Amawaka clan for two days. Shimon wouldn't complain about that, especially not after seeing her relief, when her mother hold her in her arms or the happiness coloring her cheeks or, when the family later talked after Seigen-san had calmed down.
A soft knock interrupted his train of thoughts. For a split of a second he wondered, who it could be. But Seigen wouldn't knock so softly even if he decided to punish Shimon in secret and he didn't think, her mother would pay him a visit at night. The next three seconds he wondered, why she would come to see him at night. Shifting into a sitting position, he called her in with a low voice.
She entered. A figure painted in all shades of blue thanks to the low light the moon colored her in. She was clad in a yukata she had put over her nightwear. With silent steps she walked over to the bed, on which he scooted over to make room for her to sit.
When Mayura sat down, he felt the slight budging of the mattress beneath him. He watched her as she bend her legs and lay her arms around them. Resting her head on her knees, she looked at him. Her blue eyes reflected the moon light like the surface of the sea.
In a low voice she spoke to him. "I couldn't sleep. I feel like I have to apologize for the behavior of my parents and for making this more complicated than it had to be."
Getting the idea that she needed comfort he laid a hand over the one of hers within his reach. "It wasn't that big of a deal in the end."
She sighed slowly and closed her eyes. "Sorry to have dragged you along. I should have told Otosan sooner."
He wrapped his hand around her's and pulled at it. She gave in and let herself be lead into his arms.
He mumbled into her hair, "I understand, why you did it." Nuzzling his nose into the soft blonde that smelled like vanilla, he was filled with warmth. A delightful yearning to be closer made his heart clench bitter-sweetly, "Besides it was actually nice meeting your mother."
Another sigh left her. This time tuned much more lighter, liberating. "Thank you for coming along."
From his position he couldn't see her smile. But he knew it was there. Bright and Beautiful.
Then he felt the movement of her. Looking down he saw how she turned her head and lifted her upper body by leaning on her arms on both sides of him.
She didn't need to tell him to tilt his head or lean towards her. Without thinking about it, he tilted his head to the side and kissed her.
Like every time they kissed butterflies took a somersault in his stomach and his heart stumbled a few beats before returning to a quick rhythm. He ran his lips one more time over hers before breaking the sweetness of their kiss.
She looked at him so tenderly with clouded eyes before she settled herself into his arms again.
Lying his arms around her, he completed their embrace.
He heard her slowly mumbling into his shirt, "I'm just staying for a few more minutes."
Murmuring his agreement, he shifted them away from the wall and into a more comfortable position, while holding onto her.
Slow breaths heaved her up and down and he felt her snuggling closer.
He wondered, if he should tell her not to fall asleep, but her warmth lulled him in and soon he fell into a deep sleep.
Yukari hummed, while she sat on her knees in front of her favorite roses, the sleeves of her arms pulled up and a huge hat on top of her head. The sun shone so nicely today, warming her back while she tended to her garden. She loved summer, when all flowers were blooming, painting the garden in multiple colors.
Taking her time, she enjoyed the peaceful mood that lifted her spirits. Soon she would need to prepare dinner for her still grumpy ex-husband whom she had ordered to think about his actions until she returned. To say the least, he hadn't fared well with the recent visit of their daughter and her boyfriend. Although she would have to admit, that the morning had granted both of them quite a surprising discovery. A discovery that had filled her with delight. Seigen on the other hand hadn't been that happy about it.
A short chuckle broke her out of her hum and she tilted her head back, smiling at the beautiful blue sky. She wondered, if Mayura and Shimon had already returned to the island by now.
"Otomi-san, is everything fine?" She heard the voice of an elderly woman.
Turning around Yukari spotted her older neighbor glimpsing over the fence between their properties. Usually they wouldn't talk much, respecting each others privacy.
Rising to her feet and rearranging the hat on her head, Yukari smiled. "Why, thank you. Everything is wonderful. How are you?"
The woman blinked a few times. "Ahm, fine. It's just this morning, we heard this loud clatter and screaming coming from your house."
"Oh, that was just my ex-husband trying to kill my future son-in-law." Yukari waved her hand and giggled remembering the scene after she and Seigen discovered her daughter having slept with the fuchsia-haired, young man in one room. In an instance Yukari had known that nothing had happened between them thanks to the major blushes on the faces of the young pair. Seigen hadn't reacted as understandingly, when he chased their future son-in-law through the house calling him 'bastar' and 'traitor'. "He kicked him and send him flying into a cupboard filled with plates and cups."
Her neighbor gasped."Oh my. That is awful."
In confusion Yukari leaned her head to the side. "Hm? Don't worry, we can replace the porcelain."
"And your future son-in-law? How is he?"
She didn't believe, she could smile brighter as she did now. "Perfect. My daughter has an excellent taste."
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imericwat-blog · 8 years ago
Text
A Week with Lolita
           In my youth I was a dog person. Dogs are adorable and they want to play with you. They genuinely miss you when you're gone. As I became an adult, I developed an appreciation for the cool cat. It embodies the qualities that I want in myself: independent and never too cheap to do tricks for a treat. Dog or cat, I had never wanted a pet because I was hardly ever home. To be frank, I was having too much fun being single. Having a dog at home would just tie me down. Adopting a dog seemed cruel, unless I was willing to change my lifestyle.
           Then this year I quit my day job and started writing at home. I was still reluctant to let a dog into my house. The last thing I needed was to be distracted or to take care of someone else. Six months into my sabbatical, as I'd finished a good draft of my novel, did I reconsider having a dog in my life. Even then, I wasn't committed to adoption. I started thinking about fostering because it would be more altruistic. I'd help more dogs in the long run, especially those who are not easily adoptable.
           I sought the advice of my friend Irene, who's been an animal rights advocate for years. When I met Irene about 25 years ago, she was a meat-eater and could go on weeks without eating anything green. Now she's a vegetarian, proud mama of three dogs, and a volunteer for a dog rescue that specializes in pit bulls. I like pit bulls because they are so maligned and misunderstood, which makes them less appealing for adoption. They seemed a good fit for my mission. I asked her what was the biggest challenge in fostering. She said it was letting them go. I was more curious about the practical or physical difficulties in caregiving, and less so about emotional hardships. No one had ever called me an ice queen, at least not to my face, but if you survey my various circles of friends and ask them independently to pinpoint one in our respective group, most fingers would likely land on me. I didn't dismiss Irene categorically, but if that was the hardest part, I thought I could deal.
           A couple months later, I signed up with an agency that specializes in pit bulls, not the one Irene volunteers for, though she still vouched for it. The agency is entirely volunteer-run. They had me fill out a fairly thorough questionnaire on their website. One of the questions asked me whether I had done any research about pit bulls and, if so, what those sources were. I didn't mind the vetting, but I didn't know whether they could see through that the sum of my knowledge about this breed was less than an hour of web clicks.
           A few days later, a volunteer called me to go over the questionnaire. She assured me that it wasn't a test and they welcomed fosters with various levels of experiences with pit bulls. They also wanted to make sure they matched me with a dog that was more my speed. Because I was a novice, I told her that I'd prefer a dog that had been trained. I like hiking and would love to bring the dog along, but in general, I didn't want one with a lot of energy. I didn't mind about age. I knew older dogs could be harder to adopt, and I would even consider fostering dogs on their last legs ("fospice"), especially after I gain more experience. Then we set up an in-person appointment at my house several nights before Christmas with another volunteer so we could go over the paperwork.
           Things were happening quickly and smoothly, though in my head I wasn't planning to take in a pit bull until the new year, so I could still be care-free throughout the holidays. David and I had an overnighter right after Christmas in Paso Robles with a group of friends. Then the first weekend after the New Year's, I'd planned to take a road trip on my own to Phoenix to visit other friends. It wouldn't make sense to move a dog into my house only to have it displaced in the following few weeks.
           On the night of the appointment, I invited David to join me, since he'd help me take care of any dog I'd foster. The woman, like the other volunteer on the phone, was extremely friendly and excited to have me join the "family." We went over the rules: I have to call the dog by its given name and couldn't change it unless I adopt it. I can't take the dog to a dog park or a dog beach, any place where there would be unleashed dogs. I can't let the dog get onto my bed or any furniture. Other than these prohibitions, she said they would try to work around my schedule. If I'm not able to take the dog to its training or monthly hike, or if I need to leave town for a few days, they would assign a volunteer to help me. I thought she would inspect my house to see if it was appropriate for a dog, and since it was too dark outside, I offered to describe my yard to her. She shook her head and took a cursory look-around from her seat and said my house looked fine.
           She then pulled out two copies of the agreement and asked David and me to sign both. She took one and left the other with me in a folder with other information that she encouraged me to read. I remarked that was rather painless and I was looking forward to getting my first foster dog.
           "Actually," she said, "we have a puppy who needs a home right away. Her fosters are leaving town tomorrow night for the holidays."
           I reiterated that David and I were planning to be out of town a couple days after Christmas ourselves.
           "That's okay." She turned on her phone and began swiping the screen, not looking at me. "That's still a week away. We can find someone else to take over by then." She showed me a photo on her phone
           David and I both exclaimed, "She's adorable."
           "Her name is Lolita."
           "Oh."
           "What do you think?" She asked. "We can get you a dog right away."
           I had signed the agreement. It'd be a matter of time before I took the plunge. There was a dog in need. It wouldn't make much of a difference whether I started in the next 24 hours or a month from then. The only thing is, I had made plans with my brother, his wife, and our parents the following day: Albert and Angela were in town for the holidays, and we were supposed to visit Descanso Garden and then go to dinner with David. I had also committed to a writing date with Crystal later in the week and promised some quality hangout time before the holidays with Saul and Deanna, two friends I had known the longest. Once I realized that it was my own Type A personality that was resisting changing plans last minute, not some principled sense of obligations to friends who would surely understand, I just had to say yes to Lolita.
           "Great," she said, beaming. "I got a crate and some stuff in the car for you."
           David went out to help her while I started clearing up my bedroom for a crate. A few minutes later, I went out and saw her pull up in my driveway in her Prius. David helped her extract a large flat box that she had somehow managed to fit around her backseat. Then they came towards me carrying the box like it was a sedan chair, one person at each end. They flipped it up so they could bring it through the door. The box was new and sealed. Once they dropped off the box in my living room, she went back out to retrieve more stuff. David and I slit open the box and loosened the folded crate from it. She came back with a new leash, a bag of dog food, and a hermetically sealed tank bone. She asked if we needed help with the crate. The box was still hugging half of the crate, but it didn't look very complicated. So David said that we got it. She said she would text us the contact information of Lolita's current foster parents and we could arrange for them to drop her off the next day. With that, she was on her way.
           I asked David, "All of this came from her Prius?"
           He nodded.
           "It's almost as if she'd known I'd say yes."
 Lolita entered my life shortly after eleven the next morning. By then, I had timed my visit to Descanso Garden with my family that afternoon so that I could come back to the house for an hour or so before heading back out with them to dinner. I had also canceled my writing date with Crystal and moved my dinner later that week with Saul and Deanna to my place, so I didn't have to spend the entire evening outside my house. As soon as I opened the door, a sixty-five-pound pit bull, brown velvety pelt with the subtle stripes of a tiger, sprinted across the threshold and took three sniffs around my dusty floor before she jumped on me. Her foster tugged at her leash, and she got off me only to dance around the floor like she could spot some treasure underneath it. Her foster and I exchanged some small talk while Lolita occasionally tried to pounce on either one of us, forcing our attention on her for a little while. He told me how much to feed her and when, and warned that, at nine or ten months old, Lolita hadn't learned her basic commands yet. She liked jumping on people, but she was friendly and not aggressive. Lolita was much bigger than I thought, though her hyperactivity left me no doubt that she was still a puppy. I could only imagine how much she had grown in the last few months, that in her mind she was still that smaller dog that couldn't budge a human from his solid stance. Her foster handed me the leash and gave me her prized kong. We only talked for a few minutes more. I didn't want to keep him. Everything he was telling me was something that the volunteer had described in an email from the previous night. He told me they were leaving town that evening and would be gone until the day after New Year's.
           I stooped and Lolita immediately licked my face.
           "Yes, she does that," he said.
           "Tell your papa goodbye. You won't see him for a couple weeks." I noticed a weariness in his eyes, almost wincing, and was reminded what Irene had told me many months ago, about letting them go being the hardest part.
           "Well, maybe they'll give us another dog when we come back." He started to turn. Lolita was watching him, still for the first time. "Be good, Lolita."
           When he closed the door, it was just the two of us left.
           Lolita started barking after him.
 Lolita was indefatigable. She pranced from one end of my small house to another, as if expecting the house would lengthen with each round. I finally gathered enough courage to take her outside for a walk. A curious puppy, she pulled me and darted from side to side on the sidewalk. With her shoulders caved and neck extended, she stretched the leather leash and both my arms. I was used to walking dogs that wanted to mark their territory with their urine, but Lolita didn't even pee once in our half-hour walk until the end of it when we were just feet from my house again.
           For the following two hours - before I had to leave to meet my family - I wrote only about 500 words. She jumped at me while I was typing to get my attention. Or she roamed the house noisily. Worse was when I didn't hear any sound. I had this horrible image of a puppy chewing through my pillows with the quiet devotion of a serial killer. I checked on her several times only to discover her, without fail, sunning herself on my bed, a major no-no in my barely inked-dry agreement.
           When it came time for me to leave her for the first time, she willingly went into the crate. I left the tank bone with her to distract my departure. The whole family came back to my place a few hours later. Angela bought her toys and treats. My father, who had steadfastly refused the responsibility of a pet, especially now in his retirement, smiled from ear to ear playing with her. My mother, who had wanted a dog since her last dog passed more than a decade ago, was the disciplinarian, barking commands at Lolita, which only excited her more. Every time she bent to tell the dog to sit, their faces got so close and Lolita saw the proximity as permission to either lick or lunge at my mom. We fed and walked her before we left to meet David for dinner. David came back with me to meet Lolita for the first time. We gave her the third walk of the day. She peed in the middle of the sidewalk, just stopped cold one moment and let it loose. When David left, I put her in the crate and we went to bed. I discovered the tank bone was shattered into three pieces. One day down.
 Day 2 I was alone with the dog. I turned on the furnace and happily discovered that Lolita would sit still in front of it, where I could finally take my first picture of her. 
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          We went on our half-hour walk in the morning. She peed in the last minute as she did the day before. I started my writing routine. Five minutes into it, I turned around and discovered that she was no longer in front of the furnace. She wasn't on my bed either. Or maybe she quickly got to my bedroom door when she heard me looking for her. I found a pile of dog shit in my hallway. I had expected accidents from a puppy, but we walked the neighborhood for good measure to avoid something like this. As I cleaned up after her, I mumbled my answer to my own question to Irene that this had to be the worst: human picking up defecation from his own pet like a manservant.
           This turned out to be my biggest nightmare for the next few days. No matter how long I took her on her walk, she would either pee or poop within ten minutes of coming inside. The length of the walk was not an issue. I believed that she was saving it until the end of the walk, but the problem was, she didn't know when the walk was ending, even when I was loitering my own front yard for a few minutes before we walked into the house. When Deanna and Saul came over one night, I took her out three times during our dinner, only to have her pee in the kitchen where we could see her from the dining room.
           I contacted the volunteer who went over the paperwork with us, and she advised me to just stay put in my front yard and not let Lolita wander off until she's done her business, and when she finally does, reward her with a treat. That worked, but not all the time. In addition to not being house trained, Lolita's neediness exhausted me and kept me away from my writing. I was becoming more certain that the sadness I saw in her last foster's eyes was not from letting her go, but from thinking she would come back to him after the holidays. The next day I reminded the volunteer that David and I were going to leave town in a few days and asked her to let me know when she made arrangement for Lolita's next home.
 My friends only saw the adorable side of Lolita. Only I noticed the spots in my house that were especially clean because I had given them the antiseptic-wipe treatments over and over again. Crystal, the dog-lover without a dog, changed her mind and decided to cut short her writing session at home and spent the afternoon at my place visiting with Lolita. We got some writing done, but not before Lolita lay still so Crystal could pet her for a quarter-hour. Though she had a very public accident in front of Deanna and Saul, by the time Deanna's daughter Mahalia came over for dessert, Lolita was a model citizen, as gentle as she could be. She stayed still enough for Angela to snap some beautiful shots of hers that I wasn't able to. Because she wasn't allowed on my sofa, David slid down to my wooden floor one night when he was staying over, so Lolita, all sixty-five pounds of her, could curl up like a cinnamon bun on his lap, snoring deeply.
           I took her to my parents' on Christmas day, and we walked her to the city park. My parents took turns walking her. My father, who loathed physical activity, jogged with Lolita because he didn't have the heart to pull her. On our way back from the park, I received an email from another volunteer who would take her in the next day. She told me to come by between three and four.
           Back at my parents' house, she was an angel. She did her business outdoors and never soiled their floor. In return, they gave her treats. She wasn't running wildly in the house, even after multiple attempts by my mother to beckon her. It was a quiet holiday, but she filled the house with mirth that felt a little more special than our usual threesome. Spending a day with my parents could sometimes feel like being trapped in a room with two light switches at either end, one of which would turn some lights on but others off while the other would have the opposite effect. They have the most mundane conversations in their loudest, most combative voices, and I'm usually the one running between the two sides trying to strike a harmony. That day they focused their attention on Lolita and hardly argued at all.  
           I remarked, "She's very calm today."
           "She's getting attached to you."
           Until my mother said that, I didn't realize that the dog had been following me in the house and kept me company while I was downstairs folding my laundry. As if she could understand us, she jumped up to me, paws on the edge of the loveseat.
           "Down," I said.
           My mom intervened, "It's okay."
           I thought to myself, permissive grandparents, and for once I gave in. Seeing no resistance, Lolita hopped further onto me, her front legs perched on my left arm. She nudged her backend in that small nook between me and the arm of the loveseat. Once settled, she lowered her head and fell asleep.
 That night, I tried to suss out more information about the person who was going to take in Lolita after me. Her email bore the domain of the agency; she was probably a super volunteer. She was featured by another nonprofit on their webpage. They talked about her passion for pit bulls, that she had two of her own and had fostered over sixty of them in addition. Last year, she ran the L.A. Marathon to raise money for the agency that we now both belonged to. This woman could surely handle a high-spirited dog like Lolita.
           The next morning I took Lolita on a hike at a local trail. The wide open space invigorated her, and we were out for more than an hour. For the first time in the seven days that I'd spent with her, I think she was actually exhausted when we came home.
           After lunch, while waiting for David to come over so he could say goodbye to her, and with Lolita cozy in front of the furnace, I began to compose an email to her next foster. While acknowledging that I was a novice and she an old pro, I told her everything I knew about Lolita that I would've wanted to know a week ago. I told her about Lolita's sleeping and waking schedule, her love of wrestling and cuddling, walking routine, her feeding regiment and favorite snack (peanut butter in her kong), and her lingering confusion with basic commands (though I bragged how Lolita could at least obeyed them occasionally with the promise of treats, which was more than what she could do a week ago). I wrote of her inquisitiveness for something as simple as a stray plastic bag we encountered in our path, but also her skittishness when that bag rustled back towards her, carried by wind. To illustrate the importance of vigilance, I recounted a story where Lolita pooped in the middle of the crosswalk in front of expectant holiday drivers as the light was about to turn green. I told the next foster that, even if Lolita begged to be let out, it would take five to seven minutes for her to pee, and she'd better wait at least three more to see if she would poop. I told her, a little protectively, that despite all these flaws, Lolita was really a sweetheart - everybody had said so - and it had been a joyful week and I would miss her. The email ended up just short of a thousand words.
           Of all the hours this puppy had robbed me from my writing routine, I ended up making up partially with this missive.
           David came over and we spent our last hour with Lolita on the floor so she could lie across my lap as we pet her. I started thinking that she wouldn't know this was our last hour, that I alone carried the knowledge that we probably wouldn't see each other again, that in her quiet repose she was content with each passing minute, while I was counting time backward. I tried not to cry in front of David, but to hold the tears back I had to breathe in a loud, soggy gasp. I settled in the middle ground, which led to very wet eyes and a chortle loud enough to distract David from the napping dog. He looked up, furrowed his brows (more of a surprise than a reproach), and asked, "Are you crying?" In my head, I said to myself, "I'm melting." At the thought of these maudlin words, a trail of tears began to carve out a rivulet down my face. He smiled and held my hand. All I could muster was, "She's leaving us." David said, "You could adopt her." I joked as cheerfully as I could, "I should just adopt her so I could change her stupid name."
           She was a sweet dog but she wasn't meant for me. A week was one thing, but I'd halve my writing time if I had to take care of her. On the other hand, once she was trained, she'd be snatched up like a bottle of water at a marathon's finish line, perhaps by a family with children with just as much energy as she. I wiped my eyes and got up, teetering. Awakened, Lolita raised her head but quickly wiggled to David and put it down on his lap. I found a one-gallon Ziploc bag and deposited in it her kong, the remaining piece of tank bone, half a bag of treats that we didn't get to, and a bone from my beef rib dinner I had saved for her as a Christmas gift.
 On the way to her new foster, I got her reply to my long message. "Thank you, Eric," she wrote. "She's gonna be fine." Her reassurance might have meant to be comforting, but the terse word count said to the insecure me, "Get over it, amateur." There was no cross-town traffic on the Santa Monica Freeway, and I found her house easily. Blankly I walked Lolita up to her new home.
           The door opened a few seconds after I rang the doorbell. I could hear dogs barking inside. Lolita understandably tried to nose her way in, but the new foster stood firmly in the narrow gap she let open, her runner's leg obscuring the playground beyond. "No," she commanded Lolita, who whimpered in return. The human wasn't affected. She remarked, "She's a little skinny." Feebly I replied that I had fed her as instructed and didn't want to overdo it. "Don't worry," she said. "We'll fix that." She asked me to hand her the leash and Lolita quickly disappeared into the house. She was about to close the door. I wanted small talk. I wanted to show her the part of my arm Lolita drew blood the first day. But how could I stop the gap from diminishing? All of a sudden I remembered about the Ziploc bag. "Hold on," I said, lifting it from my knapsack. "This is her stuff." She furrowed her brows (more of a reproach than a surprise) at the bag's chewed-up contents. "No, it's okay. I won't need it." Just like that, she closed the door on me.
           I got it. She was a pro. Standing in Lolita's way was her way of establishing dominion in the puppy's new territory, and she didn't want me lingering and get Lolita all worked up. Lolita was going to get a proper training finally to ready her for adoption. But not until I was back in my car did I realize why I was feeling empty inside: I didn't really say a proper goodbye to Lolita, and she never looked back to know that I wasn't coming with her. 
           She's a pro. I get it.
           She's gonna be fine, I repeated the new foster's words in my head as I drove away. I've just done something good for a dog who needed a home, I added to the mantra. That was the point. Altruism.
           Get over it, amateur.
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jenmedsbookreviews · 7 years ago
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This has been one very long week. Productive in work terms but very, very long. And to cap it all off I have decided to try and get myself back on the diet which means I am tired and irritable right now. Which in fairness is my default mood/status so there isn’t actually anything unusual in that fact.
Funny old week. We have had go live with the first set of victims, sorry drivers, using the new proof of delivery app at work. Seems to have gone well all things considered. A few minor glitches, but nothing we couldn’t fix so happy days. It has meant early starts but that has also meant earlier finishes so I have been able to get to reading much earlier in the day than normal. This means I’ve had an unusually productive week on the blogging front too clearing a relatively high number of books (for me) without resorting to one audio book (or Mr Men) to help me out. Who knew?
I also had a bit of a surprise earlier in the week when this happened:
Yes. I recieved an email from Reedsy informing me that I’d been listed as one of their recommended best book blogs of 2017 over on their website. A great honour, especially when you look at some of the other blogs on the list – there are some really high profile blogs with massive viewing figures making mine look kind of tiny in comparison, but I am very chuffed and humbled to be up there considering I am just a babby in blogging terms. It’s been a very long time since that statement applied in real life…
I have tried to be good on the book purchase/download front this week. Failed miserably but it’s the thought that counts right? In my defence, some of the books I have bought in preparation for a forthcoming Christmas feature month on the blog, currently pencilled in for November. I blame Mandie as we came up with the idea while on a walk yesterday morning. What started as a couple of weeks of Christmas posts is now a whole month of madness, espescially when you consider that neither of us actually likes Christmas. 😉 Other books (namely the Netgalley download for which I blame Bookouture) are books I need to read for blog tours (well one is) so it doesn’t really count. That’s right isn’t it?
Books I ordered: Murder Game by Caroline Mitchell (preorder); Thorne at Christmas by Mark Billingham;  Dying For Christmas by Tammy Cohen; Frost at Christmas by R.D. Wingfield; and six Mr Men Christmas Books. Audio  book wise I only ordered one which was Perfect Prey by Helen Fields. Netgalley wise I only downloaded Hide and Seek by Richard Parker (blog tour fodder I promise).
I also received a lovely bit of book post this week in the shape of Santa Claws by Gabriela Harding. Can’t wait to dive into it and it’s part of what inspired the Christmas posts mentioned earlier.
Isn’t it fabulous? Send in the clowns lol. Blogging wise I’ve been quite productive too. I had, how shall I put this, a backlog of unwritten reviews – a mere nine – nothing to be concerned about. Much. I managed on Saturday to get six of the nine written … then promptly read another book so I am back to four to write but they will be done imminently. I probably would have completed all ten reviews but I was a) running out of new ways to say ‘really bloody good’, and b) starting to get my sarcastic, comedic head on due to blogger fatigue which is never a good thing ;). Reading wise, as I said, I’ve had a pretty good week clearing four books off my tbr. And four corkers they are too.
Books I have read.
I Know A Secret by Tess Gerritsen
I have a secret.  And someone wants to make sure I never tell . . . 
In a house decorated with horror movie posters, a young woman’s body is found. She lies on her bed, two bloodied objects clutched in her palm. Detective Jane Rizzoli and Forensic Pathologist Maura Isles are called to the murder scene, but even faced with this gruesome sight they are unable to identify the immediate cause of death. 
Their investigation leads them to a high-profile murder case that was seemingly solved years before. But when another body is found in horrific circumstances, the link between the two victims is clear. Was the wrong person sent to prison? Is the real killer out there right now, picking off new targets? 
One woman knows the killer is coming for her next. She’s the only one who can help Rizzoli and Isles catch him.
But she has a secret that she has to keep . . .
Confession time – I have a secret too … I have never read any Rizzoli and Isles before this book! I know. I should hang my head in shame. I have seen the TV series on occasion but not read any of the actual books. Until now. I shall be heading back to the first eleven books as soon as I can as I absolutely loved this and have no doubt fans of the series will love it too. Sucked in from page one I raced through to the conclusion. You can see my thoughts as part of the blog tour tomorrow but in the meantime why not preorder it here.
Hide and Seek by Richard Parker
The sun is out. Your little boy is smiling. The next time you look… he’s gone. 
When Lana and Todd win a trip to Blue Crest Adventure Park, their four-year-old Cooper is ecstatic, but when Lana goes to meet them, Todd is out cold, and Cooper is missing.
No one stopped the man carrying the sleeping boy. The cameras don’t show where he went. Then Lana receives an anonymous message, telling her to visit a local school with a horrifying history… 
This is no random attack. Whoever took Cooper is playing a twisted game, and if Lana wants to find him, she must participate. 
What is the link between the school and her missing son? Can Lana uncover the kidnapper’s identity and save Cooper before it’s too late?
Now it may come as a surprise to some, but I absolutely loved Richard Parker’s last book, Follow You, so as soon as this appeared on NetGalley  had to have it and as soon as I had it I had to read it. Did it meet my expectations. Well, the cheesy grin on my face while reading may have been a give away, but yes. I enjoyed it. Muchly. You can see just how muchly next month when I post my review in the meantime do yourselves a favour and go preorder it here.
The Good Sister by Jess Ryder
Two sisters. One secret… A lie that could destroy them both.
When her father dies, Josie is devastated to uncover he led a secret life: another house, another family and a half-sister called Valentina.
Both with red hair and icy blue eyes, Josie and Valentina could be mistaken for twins. But the similarities end there…
Josie – Sweet, reserved, jealous, thief.  Valentina – Care-free, confident, dangerous, liar. 
There is a perfect life here for the taking. But which one of them wants it the most?
Two sisters. One survivor. 
I thought initially this may have been a biography about me as I am clearly the good sister of all of my siblings but turns out I was wrong. What it is, is a twisted tale centred around long held secrets which have deadly repurcussions. What it also is is extremely gripping and a fluffing good read. My review will be up in a little over a weeks time, in the meantime you can preorder here.
The Big Dreams Beach Hotel by Lilly Bartlett
Wriggle your toes in the sand and feel the warm breeze on your face when you check into the hotel that’s full of dreams…
Three years after ditching her career in New York City, Rosie never thought she’d still be managing the quaint faded Victorian hotel in her seaside hometown.
What’s worse, the hotel’s new owners are turning it into a copy of their Florida properties. Flamingos and all. Cultures are clashing and the hotel’s residents stand in the way of the developers’ plans. The hotel is both their home and their family.
That’s going to make Rory’s job difficult when he arrives to enforce the changes. And Rosie isn’t exactly on his side, even though it’s the chance to finally restart her career. Rory might be charming, but he’s still there to evict her friends.
How can she follow her dreams if it means ending everyone else’s?
I loved Lilly Bartlett’s Carlton Square books so when asked by the author if I wanted the chance to review her new book, how could I possibly refuse. I’m very glad I didn’t as this was a wonderfully funny book and having only recently been on holiday to Yorkshire when we spent a day over in Scarborough, where this book is set, everything about it made sense. A great cast of characters and some heart warming romance to boot, if you love rom-com you’ll love this. I’ll be reviewing on release day 18th August but you can preorder the book here. You can also watch the promo video below – make sure to leave the sound on …
So that was it reading wise. Four books. Are you impressed. Believe me when I say I am as I have never felt so tired as I did last week and I am pretty sure the books are partly to blame as they were too good to put down. Blogging wise I had a full week with a mixture of reviews, a couple of impromptu cover reveals, and the good old #booklove features.
#BlogTour: Review – Red is the Colour by Mark L. Fowler
#BookLove: Carol Cooper
Cover Reveal – @Bookouture & Tracy Bloom
#BlogTour: Review – Long Shot by Jack Steele
#Blogtour: Review – Till the Dust Settles by Pat Young
Cover Reveal: @Caroline_writes @Bookouture
#BlogTour: Little Bird by Sharon Dempsey
#BookLove: Lorraine Rugman
Guest Review: Stalker On The Fens by Joy Ellis
The week ahead is just as busy. I have two blog tours this week, both tomorrow. First up is I Know A Secret by Tess Gerritsen and then I have a guest post by Jo Huey, author of Transition. I will have a selection of reviews and also #Booklove posts from Louise Walters and Abbie Rutherford. I do hope you can join us. I also have a very exciting afternoon and evening planned on Thursday, but more about that next week.
Have a fabulous week’s reading all and I’ll see you same time next week.
JL
Rewind, Recap: Weekly roudup w/e 06/08/17 This has been one very long week. Productive in work terms but very, very long. And to cap it all off I have decided to try and get myself back on the diet which means I am tired 
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